Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Race to 35: Day 1

Episode Date: October 12, 2022

Day 1 - Liz and Monica embark on their fertility journey. They sit down with Monica’s BFF - who has gone through the egg retrieval process herself - to ask questions and discuss their fears about the upcoming 10 days. They talk needles, they learn what follicles are, and they equate the vaginal ultrasound wand to an uncomfortable dildo. At the end of the episode, Liz and Monica administer their first shot on air and it is quite a rollercoaster. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🎵 Everyone get real calm. Okay. Oh, man. Okay, Liz. Monica. Wait, is she doing my Invisalign? Will you hear it? Yeah.

Here we go. It's day one. I know, you're freaking out, and so am I. I'm not well. Yeah, I have felt really crazy all day. Me too. And then I felt crazy about the fact that I was crazy. How are we going to do a whole podcast?

I don't understand. Our brain is not, my brain already doesn't work and we haven't done any of the shots yet. So we are in trouble. But welcome listeners to our new podcast, Race to 35. It's in our Race to 270 family. But this is a much different kind of race. And I do want to be very, very clear about that. This is not a competition.

Race to 270 was a competition show. And this is not. This is race against the clock. And we figured we would do it together so that we wouldn't be so alone. And I think it was a really smart decision, although we might be working each other up a little bit.

No, you calm me down. I feel like I'm the bad one. It might change, though. As Sarah Perrault says, there's never one role. You kind of change depending on the situation. Yeah. So on some days I might be the calm one. Who knows?

Well, that's what we're going to find out. So this is a 10 episode podcast. And at the top of each episode, we will talk about how we're feeling, our new thoughts, our new fears. Our new personality. Exactly. Exactly. And then the rest of the episode will be us chatting with someone, an expert in this field or someone just with an interesting fertility story. Maybe some people you know, maybe some people you don't know. And it's going to be a really exciting adventure. I'm so, so, so jazzed. And here we are. And I thought for our first episode, because Race to 270 had best friend Aaron Weakley on it. And so this felt really apropos to pass the baton to my best friend, Callie. Hi. Callie Watt Shapiro. Not officially, but yes, yes.

Well, you're officially married, but he's just not. Yes, I am officially married. You have not taken on his last name. That's right. Are you gonna? No. You're not. No.

Watts is a really weird last name. It is. It's really specific. I'm stuck with it. You have it tattooed. I really stuck with it. Yeah, you're really stuck. Okay, I didn't know that.

And so I've been writing your whole name out. Calli Watch Shapiro. Wow. When? When are you writing the whole name? Sometimes I make lists. Lists of people in my life. I rank them.

And I've been ranking you as Calli Watch Shapiro. Wow. Number one. Well, maybe we should revisit. It's a lot of paperwork, but I'll do it if it makes you as Callie Watts Shapiro. Wow. Number one. Well, maybe we should revisit. It's a lot of paperwork, but I'll do it if it makes you feel like it. Thank you. You do make my life easier, hence why you're here today. You have done this twice.

Yes, I have. And I gave you a shot once. Yes. I guess, Easter egg, at the end of this episode, Liz and I will be administering our first shot on this very podcast. Oh my God. And one of us survives. Okay, Liz, on a scale of one to 10, you're going to rank a few things, okay? Okay. I love this. How anxious are you? How empowered do you feel? And how sad do you feel? Oh, wow. I, on anxious was the first one. I feel like a 14 right now,

but I'm, my baseline is an 11. Right. But the fact that we're doing this not only together, but also that it's a work project makes me more committed. And I think I would have ghosted. Like, I think I would have failed. I feel like once they showed you the, you know, the needles, I would have just passed out and just moved on. And like, this isn't for me. So I feel very anxious. I do feel empowered because in the lead up in the last few weeks, I decided to do this

very recently. And then you text me like two days later. Can we talk about the fact that that was absolutely just so strange? Yeah. Give some backstory. So I was just like a little bananas in my dating life because I was just really at the point where I was like, oh, I'm 35. I got to find the person. And so that's the worst energy to bring on any first date is like, are you my husband? And then I was talking to my friend Chelsea and she was like, Liz, you're trying to control the one thing that you can control, which is when you're going to meet the right person. And then you're not controlling the one thing that you can control, which is like you could just freeze your eggs.

And it was this light bulb moment. Because in my mind, this is so sad. It means you failed. It means you're not likable. And then all of a sudden it clicked. The minute I decided I was doing it, then also zero to 100, I was like, and I'm going to talk about it to everybody. Like I'm going to like do it publicly. I started talking to different places and then we were texting like randomly. About like a dinner. Oh yeah, like a rain dough thing. And then you were like, are you freezing your eggs? Even that question, I was like, this is so weird that she's asking me that because it's only been a few days.

And then Monica says, because I'm looking to do it with someone and make a podcast about it. And then we were like, but then like, look, we'd have to be synced. Our periods had to be at the same time. And I'm like, I'm on my period right now. Are you? And she's like, yes. That's when I knew. I was like, this is how it's supposed to happen. So I feel really empowered. I feel really excited. It's made me feel differently about my life,

even in the last few weeks since I decided to do it. So once I'm not so much of a scaredy cat with the shot, maybe I will then reconnect with my feminist empowered hiding in there. No, but you are such a feminist you really are a voice of feminism so i actually really appreciate you not feeling just like yes absolutely i feel so good like because these are really real emotions that you have to ride all of and i think to put out there, like, it's just empowering. And look, if you feel that way, amazing.

But if you don't, it's also okay. Even when I went in for my first ultrasound, I didn't know my fertility level or whatever. Like, I had no idea. And I'd never had a transnational ultrasound. I've heard a lot about it. Heard great things. Good reputation.

It looks like a giant dildo yeah that's like a big cord but um so and then she's talking to me and i am blacked out like i'm there but i'm glass like i just i've disassociated you disassociate and i didn't expect that to happen and i had my mask on and i was like maybe it's my like and i felt i was gonna like pass out i didn't pass out i was fine but i don't remember anything that she said. And then when she had the wand in me, I was like, please don't tell me my fertility future while you have a transnational ultrasound inside of me. It's a vulnerable position. Right? Just wait until it's not. You can call it a dildo. It's a giant dildo of my puss. And so that's why I'm so happy to do this with you because

I can't, like I'm going to get emotional. And again, we haven't even started the hormones. But it really means a lot to me that we get to do this and that we get to do this with all of you listening and that this can be like a fun thing we all do together. I hope it helps people. Because even, I mean

through this process, I was introduced to it by Callie. Because sometimes when I'm telling people, I'm process, I was introduced to it by Callie. Because sometimes when I'm telling people, I'm going to freeze my eggs, they don't really understand anything. People don't even know that there are shots every day. People don't know anything. And I'll be like, what? What? Like, what's not to get? You know? And then I remember that when you told me you were doing it, I had no idea. I had no idea. Maybe, Callie, you can do this. Give a baseline what happens.

Well, it's been a minute. I'll try and remember everything. But it's very similar to the first stage of IVF. So if you're familiar with that, it's the same thing of egg retrieval. This is already new information. I didn't know that. Me too. Really? No. Oh, wow. it's also so funny

hearing you guys talk about it and it being like such a blackout experience because i think i was like the most laser focused i've ever been i was like i want to know what that looks like what that count is what this is what that i became super into it like very honed in which was i'm maybe not off brand no but you said it once that it was a way to have control over exactly i found it like a thing i could hold on to for like 10 days um but yeah it's 10 days of shots that you administer yourself that you administer yourself or or if you are doing it with someone else you can have someone administer them for you the first time i I did it, I did it myself, except for the one shot that Monica did for me. That was the only one? Otherwise, I was like, this is my job.

Well, it's funny, though, because now that I'm in this seat, I feel like I did not take that seriously enough. No, no, you were giggling a lot, I remember. You're so bad. Why'd you let me do that? But I also feel like a scientist at heart. Right. No, it felt, I loved getting all the medicine, and I made like a sterile zone in my apartment,

and like a tray where I could like carry my tray around. Oh, I like that. You're kind of making like a bit out of it. Yeah. You're playing a character. It was like, I'm a home doctor for these next 10 next 10 days yeah you really eventized it i did yes for myself but yeah i had like i picked out the spot i like reorganized my fridge so i could feature it in the fridge i didn't want it like near like a bowl of pasta it freaked me out sure yeah so there's at the beginning you're going

for a consultation and they throw so much at you and i definitely had that exact same experience i like left and i was like i haven't retained one piece of information that she said and it was all bad news everything she said was something bad and i was like like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And I have talked about this on armchair a lot and it will come up definitely throughout this process. But the first thing I asked was, what about birth control? I'm on it. I've been on it for a really long time. I really don't want to get off of it because I have very volatile skin and that's vain, but matters to me. But it's my, it's my history and it has an impact on my mental health. And so people can and will make some decisions about me based on that. But you know what? It was my choice. And she's basically said, yes, you can stay on it,

but I would recommend you not. I would recommend you get off of it for some period of time because your count might be affected by it. And I thought about it a lot. And then I was like, I'm going to stay. I'm going to stay on it. And I felt weirdly defiant in that moment. No, I can still choose my day-to-day life over this thing females are supposed to do, motherhood. It just got like really entangled with my feelings of feeling out of control i think so and how old were you when i when she said that oh this happened like oh like a couple months ago oh okay 34 and a half and then that was the whole thing she was like 35 35 35 that's the number you're basically she said something like you'll never get pregnant again ever for the rest

of your life if once if it's a day if it's one second after your birthday she did not say that but that's what I heard there's this die off and blah blah blah and then they also the eggs die in the freezer and then they die like I just die so much of that word was said. And I think that's also why I picked staying on the birth control because I was like, this is a dead end anyway. And so I can't sacrifice this other piece of my life. But I regret it. I already regret it. We haven't even started. And I'm like, I should have done it. I should have got off the birth control. I should have set myself up for success in a way that I did not. It's's hard because you can do everything right. Like I was trying to do everything right the first time and my first retrieval was not very successful.

Yeah. Do you mind telling people about that? Sure. What does not successful mean? What happens? Well, I did it when I was 32 on my own. And so in my mind, it was extra credit. It wasn't a race against the clock. It was like, I'm getting ahead of things. And you work at a company. And I work at a company. And I was going to mention this also as the first part of consultation was all very scary medical stuff. And then the second part is a very scary financial conversation. Yes. And I am very lucky to work at a place currently that takes care of that second part,

which is like such a understatement of how challenging the entry point is for this whole experience of like being able to do this. So at 32, I decided to do it, get ahead of it, just like nip it in the bud, freeze a couple eggs. She's an overachiever. I love this. Put some eggs on ice, revisit them in a little bit and just have that insurance policy.

And long story short, even though all my numbers were good, everything was good along the way. Also, this is the only thing where your egg count matters. This is the only time where your egg count, like you don't need to have 36 eggs to get pregnant, to get pregnant. That's insane. So there's this number that you're chasing after. And there's these like percentages that you're focused on that are so manufactured for this process and very unnatural. But as benchmarks, I wanted to—okay, I'm 32. I want at least 30 eggs so that I have this percentage. Yeah, I wanted a high number.

Oh, my God. But the moral of the story is at 32, I got four. Yeah. I got four eggs. I picked you up from that. Monica was my ride home, my emergency contact, all the good stuff. Couldn't leave. Anesthesia mess. And they rolled me out in the wheelchair and I just started sobbing. Yeah, it was so sad. And it was the first time I cried in the whole process because I was so disappointed in that number. I feel like you really took it on as a failure. Yeah. Because I was like, I should be getting higher because I'm young. There's like a lot of those should statements. Yeah. Maybe I should have exercised less or eaten this. But anyway,

the point is I wasn't on birth control yeah I didn't have a hormonal disruptor like the birth control is and it still was a disappointing experience so it can be disappointing no matter what I know again that was part of it it's like this is gonna be bad I feel so pessimistic for some reason and also also, I mean, I think a little bit because I put all this stuff so outside my brain, always. Kids, definitely fertility, a partner, like all of that, I compartmentalize so much. And I put that over there and over there and over there. So when I went in, I was like, I'm here. I guess it's time. Then it was like, oh, it's going badly. Like, of course, it's going badly.

Everything related to this doesn't work out for me. So this isn't going to work out either. It's just like bad. And the reality is your body's just going to do what it's going to do. And it's maybe going to prove you wrong. It might prove you right. Proven quotes, because it's not doing that either. You don't know what's going to happen.

I wasn't on birth control, which was a dumb decision. Like it was kind of like could have led to a lot of bad things. And in a way, like the fact that you made that choice for you and your life is positive in all kinds of different ways. And again, like I might do too much downward dog and then like end up with, you know what I mean? Like even not supposed to. I know I'm not supposed to downward dog.

The no exercise thing is going to be a lot. That's how I let go of my anxiety. So I'm going to have to figure out a new way to do it. There's probably also all these other positive things she said, and you just probably weren't able to receive them because they were like, you know, it was like, I'm bad. Or I did, and again, like, it's my fault. We'll see.

But you have a high account? I don't know. I think I have average. It's a high. It's okay. High 20s. I blocked out the number. No, see, I don't even. I think I have average. It's a high. It's okay. High 20s. I blocked out the number. No, see, I don't even- I think you made that up.

I don't think I remember. At this point, do you have a- Yeah, I have 10. Of the follicles. Of the follicles. So that's like max. Yeah. Yeah, that is. So that's why. So your max is like good and normal. Okay.

I still don't think I remember. I know she was like, this is good. She wasn't like, wow, amazing, fertile, you know, whatever. But it seemed good. Yeah. So, okay. So then. I did it a second time.

Yeah. And I did it with a partner and we froze embryos, which is a whole other stage to this process. And the embryos have a better chance of making it, right? What I heard is even when you freeze your eggs, it's like 60% that it's going to take. But embryos is like 90% that it's going to work out. I think it's a more stable cell form. I don't know. I really have a doctor figure this out.

No, that's fine. We're going to have a lot of experts on. Okay. So it'll be fine. This is just your anecdotal experience. Yes. My anecdotal experience is that you need to freeze more eggs because the thawing process has a strong attrition. I think there's another way to say this, guys.

Thawing process. Death. But then embryos are a sturdier a sturdier thing to thaw so i'm forgetting the number but our final number was six whole embryos which we got to i think after i think i started with like 32 follicles or something like that. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Damn. That's a lot. But obviously it really whittles down, whittles down, whittles down. Yeah.

So then you start with so many follicles and then you see how many become good egg candidates. Yeah. And then those also, you only retrieve so many. You don't actually know your final count until you go through the retrieval process. Stay tuned for more, if you dare. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Look, me and you are all about the therapy. It's like all we talk about.

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and switch therapists at any time if you are not happy. When you want to be a better problem solver, therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash fertility today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash fertility. Race to 35 is brought to you by Indeed. Ambitious hiring goals for the last quarter of 2022. With a powerful hiring partner, big goals are no big deal. You need Indeed. Ambitious hiring goals for the last quarter of 2022. With a powerful hiring partner, big goals are no big deal. You need Indeed. Indeed is the hiring platform where you can attract, interview, and hire all in one place. Don't spend hours on multiple job sites looking for candidates with the right skills when you can do it all with Indeed. I like this because hiring people is a bummer. It's the worst. It's like dating,

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indeed.com slash podcast. The offer is good for a limited amount of time. So claim your $75 credit now at indeed.com slash podcast, indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. If you need to hire, you need Indeed. What is the difference between a follicle and an egg? The follicles become eggs. Although it's wild how much I didn't know how a female body works. And it's really startling. I have no idea.

There's a lot of stuff I don't know. But you should do your anxious, empowered. Oh, okay. Okay, anxious, I feel 10. I feel so anxious today. Today, though. I think we should check in on these numbers throughout the process. I have hope that the anxiety will go down, but then it will skyrocket before the retrieval.

This I know. I mean, you know what? It's reminding me. It's actually giving me memories of the SATs. Wow. That's fascinating. Where I have these expectations. There's a perfect score there's and like I'm

I'm not gonna get that the score is gonna come back and it's gonna be so bad I took the SATs three times and it was embarrassing because I was like I'm smart I should have done amazing the first time but I didn't and I have a I have a strong feeling that resembles that time I have a feeling that it might and look I think it's really common to have to do it more than once so I'm I am keeping that option on the table but it's expensive it's so I can't believe they give you like a refund on a pizza you know or like a just like things that are way less if it doesn't work they should give it for free they should give the second one for free it's only fair yeah buy one get one it's so much it really is one of my other friends she bought a guaranteed 30 like a pat it

was like you can do however many retrievals it takes to get to 30 eggs. Really? Yeah. That's kind of a genius idea. And is it a bajillion dollars? I honestly don't know. Very interesting. I feel like that's the ethical thing to do.

But it's probably, the price has to be so much that they're winning. Well, I don't think people want to do this again, always. And so I do think there probably is like a baked in amount of people that are like, no, 15 is great. Or four is great. After I did four, I was done. I didn't want to do it again. Oh, you were? Yeah.

It was like three years until I came back. Again, just the emotional toll of not just the whole process, but then of it not working. Yeah. I feel like that takes a little recovery. Yeah. What made you want to do it again? I was about to turn 35. Yeah, I did reassess at that point.

I was still at a place that provided that financial support. But I don't blame anyone. Like you can go through it and get zero and not want to do it again. And I think that's totally an option. And again, like it's an insurance policy and it's an extremely unnatural process. So it's not for every human body. It doesn't mean you're not going to have babies. I think there's also a really staggering statistic about how many people freeze their eggs and do not use them.

It's very low use. My friend Chelsea was like the minute you decide to do it she has like three friends who like met the person like three weeks later or something like that. Is that what happened with you? No, I hadn't. Max and I started dating again, my now husband. We started dating

again for the last time when I was freezing my eggs the last time right when i was freezing my eggs the first time yeah interesting yeah okay brad pitt i'm here well we could ask you questions like all day long i know well do you guys want me to ask you questions if you have any sure okay so you're freaked out clearly both of you very um there's a weird energy is it the pain of the needle is it getting the shot wrong all of it like you've had to get used to needles a little bit in this process right like you've had to have blood drawn but you're not doing it yourself like i can barely give myself eye drops. I have trouble doing uncomfortable things to myself.

Okay. Okay. I guess. What about you, Monica? I do think a little bit is getting it wrong or, like, fucking it up or putting the saline in before I'm supposed to. Like, another thing people don't say is you're doing, like, legit chemistry. It's not just, like, the needle's prepped and you put it in and then you're done. You're mixing things and tapping things. And someone told me at a dinner party the other night

that their husband became sober, but it was just at the beginning because he was prepping the needles and he was like, I don't even want one drink in me. Like I have to really focus. So I don't like screw it up. And then he just kind of stopped drinking. He was like, oh, I kind of stopped for this. And then I, he's been sober for like a year and a half, but it started with doing the preps for the syringes. Because again, it's like, I thought it was like an EpiPen. Like it would just be like, oh, I just jab it into my, you know, but it's not. And also I'm like, why don't they make it better? Can they make it better? Can they make it less complicated? Hallie, can they?

I can look into it. It is wild, though, how much you sort of feel like is on you. I'm impressed that people have not fucked this up more. And like there's been major ramifications. I agree. Well, I think the complications are because you're going in every two days, the doctor ideally will see them. So you're producing too many eggs and that's a thing. Fingers crossed. Sounds like a great problem. Isn't there a thing where if you

put an air bubble in yourself, then you can die or that's what someone told me. From the syringe? This dinner party was really, yeah. Oh no, I don't think so. That if you get a little bit of air, yeah, that's why you got to click it like a addict., like you're just like clicking that so you don't get an air bubbles. I always always told that the air bubble just made it a little more painful, but it wasn't an actual danger. It was more of like, you don't really want to be injecting yourself with air. They would have really reiterated that if that were true. Yes. Okay, let's not Google that.

I don't want to know. I also think there's an unknown. You're like, I don't know what state I'm going to be true. Yes. Okay. Let's not Google that. I don't want to know. I also think there's an unknown. You're like, I don't know what state I'm going to be in. Right. This is just my experience, but I was underwhelmed with my side effects. Okay. Good to know. I mean, the most physical is by the end, you feel very bloated because you're full of eggs

in a way that you shouldn't be. And then you have- Oh my God. Is that why you have to weigh yourself every day? Why do they say that? I didn't have to weigh myself. It says it on the sheet. Oh, also, you have to sign all these documents that are scary. An anesthesia page about if you die. Yes. Like where do the eggs go? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And we talked about this. Mine currently go to donation, but Monica wants them to go to her. Yeah.

I want to be able to make decisions about them. She wants a little cow. Because if she dies and I'd like a piece of her to stay around. That's sweet. Yeah, I know. I mean, I sat with that page for a second. I was like, what do I do? There is a piece of me that's hopeful because I put give to partner.

And then when it said put the person, I said unknown. I love that. Anyway. Oh, but the other big like you're going to have bruises on your stomach. You're definitely going to have bruises. I sort of like I was like, oh, that was Monday. This was Tuesday. I love your attitude. I know. I want it. I want it by osmosis. It's not always like this. That's part of what's fascinating is you really, no, I'm serious in a good way. I feel like you're such a realist that you looking at this experience

in a positive way was new. Yeah. I would say differently. Fertility and motherhood has been on my mind since I was like three, which is very intense. So this was like me getting in touch with a side of me that was very exciting to be in touch with. But that's the thing. It's different for so many people. Like what brings us all here, but there's still the bubble syringe problem for all of us. There are unifying things. Yeah. I was really underwhelmed with like how I felt. I did not feel foggy. I did not feel out of it. I felt okay. Both times. The second time because I got way more, I was more bloated. And that made sense. I'm just gonna be like, I'm not bloated. Or I am gonna be bloated. And then I'm gonna get zero eggs. And I'll be like,

what was that about? Just regular bloating. Pizza. Yeah. That was just a pizza. Also, are we allowed to eat pizza? I thought about this today. I ordered so much because I thought it was my last dinner of carbs because it says to eat less carbs. Oh, I don't think I restricted my diet too much. Just alcohol. Okay, I was going to ask you about that because I asked them today if I could still have caffeine. And he was like, yeah, absolutely. And I was like, but not alcohol.

And he was like, no, you can. Really? Yeah. Okay. By the way, also just BTS, I'm at your doctor. He was like, no, it's totally fine. He was like, actually, it's a good release or something. He was like, if you're stressed out. Wow. He was like, just remember, it's not pregnancy. Right. He was like, there's a lot of things obviously you can't do in pregnancy, but you can do here. It's not the same thing. I guess I would say, though, the thing with alcohol, since we're going to be so hormoned up, it's maybe not a good idea depressant wise. That's a good point. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. I also think, and I don't know, again, the number here, but this is a really new procedure. So the Bible on this is a really new procedure. Yes, exactly. So the Bible on this is very fresh. I know. That's what Liz and I keep. We keep chatting and then it's like mixed information.

Conflicting information even. We're at different doctors and it's kind of fascinating that one's saying one thing and the other's saying another. It's kind of fascinating that one's saying one thing and the other's saying another. Yeah. And ultimately, like the stamp of success for egg freezing is just a large number of eggs. Right. Yeah. Versus IVF is a pregnancy. Right. And like there's other like signs of, oh, this was successful.

And this is just a number. Right. And for really high achieving type a people who are career focused and having a number be this like thing is really daunting i think that's the sat thing ultimately you have a score yeah and that score is indicative of how smart you are how good you are your future yes and it's like you're doing the SATs in front of like thousands and thousands. Well, that's my fault. I decided to do that.

Upping the ante. And I think it's a great thing. It's like really brave and, you know, being super vulnerable with that, I think will help women. And one of the nurses was like, I know you're doing this with your friend. Don't compare follicles. There's just so many factors. There are.

There's so many ways to rank uteruses and their contents. Uteri. Uteri, yeah. Yeah, I'm a feminist. I have a master's in gender. Yeah, you sure do. But yeah, so let's not compare numbers. No. Last week, I checked in with Monica and I was like, are you sure you want to do this very vulnerable thing so publicly? Because as much as I I was like I did really embrace the process I did it very privately and there was secrecy to that number at the end that I got to hold on to and so I feel very protective of Monica and so but she was very very confident no hesitation being vulnerable here.

That's what's exciting about this. And so I think that that's really, really brave. And for the benefit of the conversation that you're going to have with all these different people, it's like that was the other thing I really wanted the first time was I found like two YouTubers doing it. And I just watched all their stuff. Otherwise, it was like nothing was out there. Yeah. I mean, the goal of the podcast is real stories, real people, some experts and stuff, too. But we're real people. So we're going to be asking from that perspective and cover a lot

of different ground. And I think it'll be fun. Okay, I feel like it's almost time. How about we just keep talking? And not do it. And not do the needles. Oh, my God. Are you recording the needle? Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, we're going to do it. Can I have water? I just feel like I need to drink water. Yeah. Liz, where's your sharps container? Do you even have it? What? Where's your sharps container?

I think it's over in the house. We're doing it. I think it's over in the house. We're doing it. I think you need a tray. Okay, so there are two shots you do per night. That's the other thing. I thought it was just one shot, and then today, then they're like, oh, it's two. Well, it depends on what you need. Oh, you need.

It always differs. For the first one, I had a different regimen, and then the second one, I had a different. I think at first, I was one shot, and then I was two. Oh, I'm two. Or maybe I was always two. Wait, am I two? It feels like everyone's two. Is everyone two?

Yeah, I think so. Okay, cut that. I'm leaving it in. Okay, so I want to do the one that doesn't have as much chemistry first. Okay. The second one has chemistry, and they said it stings a little. Does it sting you? Yeah.

A little. Just a little. Sweet stings. Well, we'll find out. Just a little. I also think this is like. It's such a funny deja vu. Oh, I bet.

Okay. I know what I'm doing. I'm going to do mine here. So do I start? What do I start with? I would also just wash your hands. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Absolutely. And what's that little case you have? This is for the pen, the pen shop. This. You have it. It's in there. Okay, it's this.

Got it. And then make sure you get your alcohol swabs out. Yeah. You're probably going to need, like, four and eight. They give you a bunch. Okay. Okay. Don't look at this needle.

Oh, my God. It's huge. It's huge. I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, don't look at that. I don't understand. You throw it out.

You don't even use that. I don't know why. What do you mean? They put it in and you don't need it? For that one, that's weird. I don't know why. What do you mean? They put it in and you don't need it? For that one, that's weird. I don't get it, but yeah. Where's my... Oh my God, I lost some of that.

So that's the first shot and that's the second shot. Yes. And this is with the medicine in the fridge. Oh yeah, I was like, where's the medicine? Oh my God. See, look, Liz only has one box of this. You have a different amount, like, I think, right? Oh.

Like, you have different amounts of medicine. Okay. Which is totally fine. Okay. They might have you on a higher dose to try and preserve more of your... Oh, boy. It's okay. No, it's going to sting.

It's going to be great. So this is, every night, you're going to want, like, this. Callie is setting Liz up right now and it's really... Can I pay you to do this tonight? Okay. Okay, so that's your setup for the night. Okay, I'm going to take a photo because that'll be...

Look at how organized it is. This is so cute. I like the aesthetic. Can you just imagine it on a tray? Should we get trays? Just imagine it on a tray. You did make get trays? Just imagine it on a tray. You did make it really pretty for her. Do you want me to do yours? Yeah.

Yeah, make me a tray. Do we want to do it here? Oh, sure. Yeah, we should. We can move all this crap. All these nicotine. Can you smoke weed? I'm sure you can.

You probably can. See, there's also one thing is that they give you a ton of extra stuff. Okay. Mostly like needles. And I always felt like I was like, my count was off. Yeah, there are so many. Okay, so over here is this whole thing. Is one. Deal. The tray doesn't have sand on it. Okay, so over here is this whole thing is one steel.

The tray doesn't have sand on it. Why is there sand in my needles? Oh, wait, no, it's not sand. It's like cookie crumbs. Yeah, that makes sense. That adds up. Okay. Air bubbles.

Okay. I'm injected myself in. Okay. Air bubble. Okay. I'm injected. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you should inject a cookie cup. Should Google that. Stay tuned for more.

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I just pop them in my suitcase. With your first purchase, you get all of that. And all you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash race235. Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash race to 35 to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Okay, who wants to go first, Liz or me? Are you someone who likes to go first and get things over with, or do you like to go second and watch?

I don't know if I like either. I guess I can start, or you can start. I feel like you... What do you want? I think you should decide. I don't know. Should we flip a coin? Oh, my God. We should go first.

Okay. Monica, Monica. Okay, God. We should go first. Okay. Monica, Monica. Okay, I'm going to go first. She told me she recommended me sit, actually, instead of stand. Yeah, you still have some prepping you need to do. Okay. Okay, hold on. I remember I have a video.

Should I pull it out? Does this go in? Yeah, it does. It's not already loaded? Mm-mm. Okay, so you'll load that, and then this pen is going to go in the fridge for the rest of it, because this is fridge medicine. Okay, this is where I do the swab, right? Yes.

Anytime you're, like, piercing out. I'm going to watch you, because I don't know what I'm doing. Here, I can. This was the second time Max's job was to always open up the swabs and have the swabs ready. Oh, that's nice. Okay, so I swab this. Yeah. I'm swabbing the top.

You can just put it in your sharps. Am I supposed to take it off? No. Okay. Okay. And then – oh, my God. This is so scary. I go in this way.

Oh. And then I put this in. You're so good at that. You're killing it. Oh, yeah. Okay. You have to put it as your number. Yep.

And it goes in like that. Fuck. Oh, my God. You have to put it as your number. Yep. And it goes in like that. Fuck. Oh, my God. Oh, I have to click it. Okay. Oh, my God. We already had a mishap. Shit.

A needle mishap of all things. Oh, oh, oh. The needle is visible. I don't know how I'm going to. I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this you can do it okay now

I go up to what does anyone have the same number yeah I have 225 I think you are too okay okay what if I love it so much and i become a heroin addict

oops okay okay i'm gonna sit oh my gosh oh my god i'm so scared i know i know i'm not doing it yet okay i'm gonna pinch my inch i I hate when she says, pinch your inch. All right. Oh, boy. Okay. I can't. I don't.

Okay. You can do it. Yeah. You can do it. Uh-huh. Done. I did it. You did it.

Oh, my gosh, Liz. It doesn't hurt at all. Are you serious? I'm serious. You didn't look like you were in pain. So then untwist that and put it in the sharps. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. I feel happy.

Yay. Yeah, I do. I do. Yeah. Yay. Yay. That do. I do. Yeah. Yay. Yay. That makes me so happy. Okay.

Oh, I'm excited for you now. Okay. She's on the other side. Okay. Okay. Okay, hi. Now. I am dissociating.

Okay. Okay. Now I love it. Oh my gosh. You do? You do? I'm nervous about the other one, but yeah. Because now you know how strong you you're nervous about the other one but yeah because now you know how strong you are honestly the other one's more fun it is oh because the chemistry

yeah it gets like exciting okay i like i like this i like this aspiration for my mental state okay so okay no yeah oh but I already have one. No, no, no. That's a different one. Oh. You need this metal thing. Oh, okay. Okay.

And then... The top. Okay. Take its top off. I take it off? No, no, no. No, no, no. Sorry, I was just joking.

Oh, my God. You can't joke. Oh, no. No, no, no. I take it off. Sorry, I was just joking. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You can't joke. Oh, God. Here's the sharps. Okay. I thought I unsealed it. Okay.

Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. I think you should sit. Okay. I think you should sit. Okay. You guys are such a bitch. Such a baby. I promise. You don't even feel it.

This one, I didn't. You really did not feel it. But I feel like you have a higher threshold for pain. Like you're like, I'm a big baby. A lot of people have done it. Yes, it's true. You have to remember that. Okay.

So do you have to pinch your inch? It's so fun. We're having so much fun. This is like we're playing house. Do it two inches away. Or not two inches. Yeah, that's good. There.

Oh, wait. Okay. Okay, and then I put it in, and then I push it. Once it's in, you'll push. Okay. It's going to be so fast. Okay. I can't believe people do this.

I can't believe people do this. Once you do it once. Can you get, okay, I want you, I don't want you to look away, but I want you to look away. Like I want you here. No, no, no. Okay, no, I want you to look.

No, no. Okay. No, no. Okay. Okay. Okay. One, two, three, go. One, two, three, go.

You have to look. I don't want to look, but if you don't look, you're right. You're right. Absolutely the hardest one you're right you're right absolutely the hardest one you're gonna do okay so it's like right there okay and then i go like that and i poop too okay oh my god okay oh my god i can't i can't i can't do it can you do it you can do it does that bother

you no but do you want to get one no because i feel like if the thing that's hard is i have no idea what it's going to feel like and i feel like if you do the first one then i can like then i won't have the unknown and i have to do it okay do you mind no i'll do it is that good if i do it yeah you this is the one that you did for me okay okay yeah okay so pinch that pinch it okay oh that's okay that's okay yeah that's it okay you did it oh my gosh how do you feel i mean i feel so good but also i didn't do anything i don't deserve to feel good no but did it hurt

I mean it hurts a little bit it's not I think I'm more sensy than you but I'm a senso I feel

like once I'm used to it it'll be fine thank you for doing it to me of course that's what I'm here for wow okay

now it's time for the next one and yet we survived the first shot that's exciting one down one down okay for the next one. And yet we survived the first shot. That's exciting. One down. One down.

One down. Okay. And the next one is chemistry. Chemistry class. Okay. The video. Maybe we watch the video. Yeah.

Watch the video on this one. Your videos are great. That was helpful. She's kind of like an influencer. Like she does it with her, and she has like really nice nails. I know. Okay. You'll see here, you really nice nails. I know. Okay. You'll see here, you have your written instructions as well, okay? Your dosing is just one vial of Metapur. Okay. So, you'll have a box. You have a couple boxes like this. It comes with five,

okay? You're going to have all these little goodies that you're going to need to mix, goodies that you're going to need to mix. And it comes like this. So it will come with five vials of the saline water and then five vials of the actual medication, Menopur. Okay. Your medication's Menopurs are going to have a little white powder in it. That's the medication. Got it.

So what you're going to do is you're going to get out one vial of Menopur and one vial of water. Because all you to get out one vial of Menopur. And one vial of water. Because all you're doing is one vial of Menopur. Perfect. Just like that. Okay. Put these back because you won't need them. So you see how there's a little cap on this one?

You'll see a cap on your Menopur as well. So you just take that off. Take this one off. You'll clean them with alcohol wipes. Okay. You're going to get what we call a Q-cap okay this will be covered obviously you'll take off the cover you're gonna get your saline water first okay you're gonna put this q-cap it has a needle in the middle so once you take off the paper just set it on top there's a rubber stopper in the middle. Okay. So we're going to pierce the needle into the rubber stopper like that.

Got it. Great. So you're going to hold it, take this off, and you'll see the little, like a little hat on top of there. Oh. Okay. So then you're going to get this syringe. Because being smart is really important.

You're going to remove this huge needle. Okay, removing. We love removing. Because you will not need it. Okay. I like that. I, removing. We love removing. Because you will not need it. Okay. I like that.

I love that. So please just throw it right away because I don't want you to get confused and put it back on and inject yourself. Okay. Okay. So then you're going to put this, screw this on top of the Q-cap like that. Okay. Okay. And you're going to see down here, it's going to say on step four, you're going to draw out between 1.1 to 1.2 ml of sterile water.

Okay. So you're going to put this upside down. You see how there's a one right here? Uh-huh. So 1.1 is either there and 1.2 is either there. Okay. Okay? And the way you're measuring it is going to be at the top of that black line you see I'm at 1.1 see the top of the black line yeah and then if you go down it's 1.2 okay okay so you just hold

it because you'll see there's pressure so it will go up so you're gonna have to hold on to it okay okay so I'll give myself 1.2. Just give myself a little wiggle room if it goes up by accident. Okay. So 1.2 right there. And then you're going to put this off to the side and take it off. Once you take it off, there's no more pressure. Got it. Okay.

So now that you have your 1.2, you are going to put the Q-cap and put it into this rubber stopper of that actual medication okay you're going to inject the water and you're gonna just kind of give it a twirl until it dissolves usually within like 30 seconds to a minute the white powder should dissolve and I'll be all clear okay then what you're gonna do is upside down and you're gonna take everything out. Okay, everything Okay, sometimes you see like a little bubble or two in here Once you have that so I kind of just give myself an air gap a little bit so nothing spills out and put this off to the side okay

just like that so now i will take this off you just unscrew it take off the q-cap and get your injection needle this is so many steps you'll get you'll get better at it this is literally the worst night when you're like yeah yeah and then by the ninth you'll be like very very very very okay okay so you're injecting this the same exact way as the follow stem in the tummy area two fingers away from the belly button you inject pinch your hand and you inject. You can do the same side, but with a slightly different side. Oh wait, say something about the air gap. Just make sure to get rid of this air gap before

injecting yourself. So get rid of that. When you're injecting this one, I ask that you hold from the barrel, pinch, inject, and then once it's already in your belly, then push this all the way in. And do you release the pinch also?

Yeah, you release the pinch also. The reason I say hold from barrel is because some patients like to just hold from here and inject, but sometimes some medication will come out before they even get in because they're pushing right out. Got it. So hold from here, pinch your inch, inject. Like don't hold it from its end. Hold it by the barrel. Oh, and then, oh, got it.

Okay. Okay, we're going for shot number two. You're crushing it. How did she do it with those nails? Yeah. It's a good point. So what's this one called? Metaphor.

I could just try. Now it's this thing. Yeah, your mixing cap. Okay, my mixing cap. Okay. My mixing cap goes in the saline. Menopur. And I screw it on here. Oh, should I?

That's just sterile water. So these are, this one's not like scary at this point. It's not like scary in my mind. Yeah, no, it is. The medicine is my mind. It's not helpful. Yeah. No, it is. The medicine is this little chunk. Right. Exactly. Okay.

Now, this is where I do the 1.1. Yeah. To 1. Is it right? Yeah. You're at 1.2. You see that line? Yeah.

Now, I add this whole thing in. Yep. And it's going gonna dissolve it. So you need to squeeze it in. Push it in. Oh right. Yeah. Now twirl. Did you do a twirl? I'm twirling. It looks dissolved. Yeah. Okay, so that's dissolved. So then now I flip. Mm-hmm.

I take it all. Yep. Yeah, you did. And now I... You take off the Q-cap now. Okay. Right. Aha.

And then I put this guy on. God, it's hard to hold all this stuff at once sometimes i would unwrap everything yeah oh yeah that's fine that's fine okay now you're ready now it's got to pinch my inch oh wait but you gotta yeah gotta sterilize. I'm gonna do the other side. Or should I do the same side? Same side. Other side tomorrow night. Okay. I'm gonna put my cookie crumbs in.

Okay. I was praying to my grandpa because he would do insulin. Aw. Yeah. Hi. Hold it from the barrel. Okay, I did it. Oh, my God.

Did it hurt? I mean, oh. That one's a little more uncomfortable a little bit not not crazy wow Cal I'm so happy you were here for this I really am it like I think if anyone does this in the future I'm available have Cal no have have someone who you really trust nearby because it is scary. Okay, Liz. Okay. I don't remember anything.

I don't. It's like it already happens when someone explains to me any rules of a board game, but this is like the board game is my body. Wait, so the cap goes on the saline first? Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah. So which one's saline? What's the one that doesn't? That's salt. No, no, no think that's right. Yeah. So which one's saline? Which is the one that doesn't have... That's salt. No, no, no. Salt is medicine. Okay.

Saline is okay. The thing is... This reminds me of your cooking show. It's like a tiny little... It is. I know. Oh my god, you're so right. Wow, okay. Cool. You're so good at stuff. And this little bubble we don't care about. That's not the bubble that kills you. Okay. Wow, okay, cool. You're so good at stuff. Yeah, then this. And this little bubble we don't care about.

That's not the bubble that kills you. No. Okay. This goes in here. In the salt. Yep. Medicine. Twirl it. Twirl it.

Twirl, twirl, twirl, twirl, do a twirl. Okay, it's dissolved. I like that this part is, it's complicated, so it keeps you distracted from the fact that you're about to poke yourself in. You add the needle. Yeah. Yeah, here it is. I mean, I got rid of the bubble.

Okay. Okay, we did our chemistry. And now we're going to do Liz's second shot. And then we'll be done. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. We'll be done with night one. Just like that.

Okay. Let's do it here. Okay. Pinch it. Oh, gosh. Am I doing it again? Yeah, I think so. Okay.

Sorry. Sorry. I don't want to laugh. I don't know why I laugh. I laughed when I did it to you, too. I like that you laugh. It's like awkwardly, yeah. It's weird. It's weird.

It's like an uncomfortable laugh. I mentioned my hands. Okay. Okay, let go. Let go. Let go. Ow. That feels like it's like stinging, right?

A little bit. Oh, it's like a worm inside of me. Oh, it's so long. It's done. That felt like a knurled. Oh, no. Okay, so you don't love that. I don't think you could do that.

No, I know. Oh, I keep on doing this. Wait, why is it like that? Okay, so tell the world it like it's like it's alive inside of you it's it's like move it like i guess it is a sting but it just feels like it's it's like a little worm going in there i bet when you do it to yourself don't feel you didn't feel like that i didn't feel wormy it stung a little it's longer than the first one okay well we're gonna cut a lot of this out but we have completed day one of shots we've survived monica looks so happy i am oh my god you are you did you

did both you did everything you did everything you did by the way yeah you did four shots i am leaving a lot happier than i came in. There's something about it. There is. Now I really get the empowerment. It is a teeny bit painful and it's a little chemistry. It's a little hard and scientific and it feels like I did something. You did. I do think I'll be depressed when I get zero eggs from this, but it's fine.

No, don't say that. No, I'm not saying it. I'm cutting that. Don't say that. You're going to get the exact amount of eggs you're supposed to get yeah it's there's a there's a plan and it's gonna happen according to plan either way i will have done something for myself that's right callie thank you for being here really i. We could not have done it. I mean, do you remember? I walked into the kitchen to get Liz before we came up to the attic and she's like

hoodie is up over her head. She's like, I just put everything in the fridge. I didn't know what to do. You guys did great. And day one has the most mystery around it. Yes. That's where the anxiety was living. Right. Me too. Wow. You think we'll do no video tomorrow.

You're going to be able to do it. No, I'm going to do video one more day. Yeah. Yeah. But you won't by the end. You won't be needing a video. It'll be so fast. Well, you'll have a whole system.

Wow. Maybe a tray. Okay. Let's get trays. Let's definitely get trays with our names on it. Such a girly podcast already. I love it. I love it.

All right. Well, that concludes night one and we'll resume tomorrow and see how we're feeling. And thanks, guys, for joining us on this journey. Thank you.