Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Robert Downey Jr. [Rerelease from 6/19/23]

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

Robert Downey Jr. (Downey’s Dream Cars, Sr., Iron Man) is an actor and producer. Robert joins the Armchair Expert to discuss their journey to becoming soulmates, how important it is to have deep meaningful relationships, and what acting process works best for him. Robert and Dax talk about what it’s like to have an addictive personality, finding closure with their fathers, and whether life is a joke or tragedy. Robert explains what prison was like, why he wanted to modernize his car collection, and what the two most significant projects he’s been involved in were.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Padman. Hello, Monica. Hi. We have incredibly exciting news. Starting on Monday, August 14th, you'll be able to find all new episodes of Armchair Expert free on Spotify and everywhere you get your podcasts.

But in the meantime, we decided we wanted to revisit a few of our favorite episodes over the last couple of years. Yes, it's very exciting for us because we get to come back to everyone, which is really, really fun. And these are some of our faves. Yes, in case you missed them, these are the ones that we thought were worth re-airing before we go wide on August 14th. Please enjoy some of our best of.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Randall Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman. This is a three-namer. It is a three-namer. You know, it's with great delight that I announce today we have Robert Downey Jr. You've been wanting to have him on since day one. Day one. I'm fascinated with Robert. I love Robert. Yeah. And I think, I hope you'll find amusing

our past friendship. I find it to be one of the more amusing ones I've ever had. It was a really fun, funny, a little manic in a great way. Yes it was so fun i was in the best mood afterwards and he was so lovely and engaging to you which made me so happy it was yes i really liked him a lot he's a sweet sweet sweet boy he's also an award-winning actor and producer the iron mans the avengers the sherlock holmeses tropplin, which he, a performance of a fucking century. Now he has a new show about ding, ding, ding, cars, my favorite topic, called Downey's Dream Cars, where he takes some incredible old vintage cars and restores them and brings them up to a more eco-friendly world. It's really cool.

Very cool. Even Monica liked it. She's not long for car shows. I'm not, but I loved it. Also recommend that people check out Senior, the documentary that Robert made about his father on Netflix, which is very beautiful, and we talk about it at length. Most of all, we're just so happy he's here. So happy.

Please enjoy RDJ Robert Downey Jr. AKA Bob Downey. But before we go, we have our prompts for Armchair Anonymous for July. For July. For July. Here are your prompts. Prank gone wrong.

Prank gone wrong. Prank gone wrong. Sometimes they're well-intentioned, but the execution is not great. Second prompt, time you made the news. Yeah, I'm excited for this. A lot of us have made the news, you know? What an exciting event it is to make the news. It's huge. It's huge.

Third, craziest simulation moment. You've heard all of Monica's. You've heard a lot of mine. And now it's time for us to hear yours. So to remind you, prank gone wrong, time you made the news, craziest simulation moments. Go, of course, to armchairexpertpod.com and submit your stories. And we will pick some among those and interview you. Cannot wait.

Please enjoy RDJ. Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on a beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia, made to travel.

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Rob got you the most delicious thing on this side of town, if you're interested. What's it called, an oven top? Cream top. Cream top from Maru Coffee. It's the greatest thing in the world. What kind of milk? It's just cream. It's like a whipped cream that they make on top, so it's dairy.

Also, we have Keurig. You don't have to drink it. You want a nice espresso. You got fucking big balls. I'll tell you that, Mark. There's water, too. You want a Keur? You got fucking big balls. I'll tell you that much. There's water too. You want a Keurig fresh brew? No.

What are you gonna do? I'm worried about your caffeine. Do you want a matcha? It has oat milk. I'm not taking your matcha. We can split it. Weird if I sit on Trevor? Yeah, that's gonna be audio wise.

It's gonna be hard for us. Not for me. It would be a first time. We like first timers. Do I have to wear these fucking headphones? You don't have to do anything, Robert. But I'm not shocked you're already fucking bucking the system. There's been 600 motherfuckers came in here before you that had no problem with the headphones.

Prince Harry among them. And you got to come in here with all this tude. I don't wear headphones. I don't drink fucking milk. What else don't you do before we proceed? We are. We're ABR. Always be recording.

Except after your pee. After your pee. But you don't notify the guests that you're already recording? Of course not. You're sinister. How often are these changed out? Every couple years. Nobody has asked that.

I know. This is an embarrassment. And that's a great question. Those have been changed out recently. You're a goddamn liar. Rob's a rascal and a liar. You shouldn't believe me. You guys took them for F1.

That's right. And then I broke a pair. And then I had to bust out a pair from the box under my truck, I found. I have more if you want a different pair, too. I do want a different pair. Oh, this is very exciting. Oh, my God. Right on the scene, I want a different pair.

I've known you for, I want to say 17, 18 years now, which might shock you because I've done math. I didn't know this side of you. I haven't even seen them and I don't like them. They're the exact same as these. What's your problem with those? I need two pairs. Okay, great.

I thought you were worried about germs, but you're worried about size. No. What is he worried about? It's really hard to figure out what he's worried about. Are there covers over these? Oh my God. Or is this just a felt mask? Would you be more comfortable if we put masks on for

COVID? I have masks in the house. Should we get those? If I was worried about that, I'd have brought masks for everybody because your masks were bullshit masks. No, these are KN96s. Most people have KN95s. We have KN96s. Monica, I KN95s. We have KN96s. Monica, I'm so pleased to be meeting you.

That is so kind. And I've been studying you. Oh, my God. What have you learned? Well, I'm in your closet. I'm following you around. I'm listening to your dulcet tones. You're in my closet?

That means you found me on Instagram? Yeah. Which, by the way, how I got to Instagram, I'm following you around. I'm listening to your dulcet tones. You're in my closet. That means you found me on Instagram? Yeah. Which, by the way, how I got to Instagram, I'm not sure. I tried to get on Instagram to watch Richard Lewis. Long story. So which one of these is fucking on? I would recommend the ones that are plugged in. Oh, my God.

I'm going to try these for a second, but they just- Give him a whirl. They smell like your fucking dog. You're dusting off your chaplain character for this. You've got a big nest of cords over there. Why is this an improvement? Don't you like the way it sounds? Do you want a sincere answer? My head hurts. Okay.

It's like wearing a headband. Would you like an aspirin? Should we call it? Let's just call it. This has already been great we got enough rob's got big balls the biggest brings me what is this cream top yak milk cream top like that was so beyond random it's like this is what you would drink oh no no it's what dax drinks so i got an extra for you and we're kind of similar i hate to break this to you last question yeah okay we're

there we're at the last question see the show comes out June 22nd. Thanks guys. How do you kick this thing off usually? Cause so far you have nothing. And I think Rob would agree with me. No, you're completely wrong. You don't know shit about shit. Now you're a genius in a lot of spaces, but you're out of your depth right now. We know how to make a fucking hot, steamy podcast. I want to try on some of your clothes. Anytime. Are they here? No, you'd have to come to my apartment.

All right, but the weird thing is, usually if I think about something or say it, it's there. I know, I know. So this is already. But I'm a tough cookie, and I don't just bend to the whims of rich, powerful men. White men, let's add. Especially the white ones.

That's right. Kind of flattering. It's a nice, it's a mixed bag, right? I thought you should take it as a compliment. You've done a lot. So when does Ola Music need their stand back? That's too deep of a reference. What's Ola Music?

I don't know. All right. You ready? No, I'll tell you guys when this starts and what part of it you can use to start it. Just cue me when it's my turn to enter okay i do have a real sincere question what would you have ordered at the coffee shop nothing oh you don't like coffee no i love coffee i just wouldn't order something in a coffee shop oh too pedestrian too unpredictable you think people are trying to poison you well first of all

this woke muffin top fucking splatte or whatever it is, that just tells me who you are. Okay. Who Rob is. And who are we? You're my friend. Oh my God. I'm like, I'm bracing for impact, yet it seems like they're compliments, yet more impact.

And now we're going to drink it. After all that fucking pageantry. Of course we're going to drink it because we're a fucking addict and there's not gonna be anything that's not sampled once. Let's get that second set of headphones on. Any better? Is there beer in there? I still can't get the

fucking, it was supposed to be ready in time for you but the CO2 barrel isn't in there. I was hoping you and I could drink pints of NA while we were doing this interview. What's NA? Non-alcoholic beer. I don't know. You don't fuck with an NA? No. Have you ever? You never have. I have. And you don't like it? I have a huge

moral judgment on it. Oh, you do? Tell me. Tell me. Oh, because someone did give that to me. I ran into a dude from the program at a restaurant or something. I was drinking in O'Doul's. And he said to me, you know what they say about near beer? When you're drinking near beer, you're near beer. I was like, oh my goodness. I said, you know what they say about near beer? When you're drinking near beer, you're near beer.

I was like, oh my goodness. I said, you know how I know this isn't beer? Because I don't start looking for cocaine after three. That's how we know for sure definitively this is not beer. Hold on. I'm ready whenever you are. Oh, gosh. Rob, this is too much.

We can't even get him settled. It's too early for this. No, no, no. He's not even settled. You take a picture of me right now. Look, are you ready? And then over here, let's grab one over here. Oh, wow.

You don't have to take any of me, Rob. I'm easy. Part of me. Yeah. I just don't want it to start because then at some point it's going to end. Oh, that's beautiful. But do you know what? It doesn't ever have to end. It's a of me. Yeah. I just don't want it to start because then at some point it's going to end. Oh, that's beautiful. But do you know what? It doesn't ever have to end.

It's a holiday weekend. These are going to be the best photos ever taken. They are. Who was that last character we just saw? I'm not sure. Maybe Elsie Downey. Oh, your mom. Yeah, mom.

Might have been a little mom in there. I'm going to now insist we hit play, okay? Wait, can we just listen back to what we've done so far? Absolutely. Go to Video Village and watch playback. Okay. I think it's relevant. People can already hear the playful banter between you and I.

They know there's an established relationship. So where does it come from? What's the genesis? I'd love to tell that story if we could. Yes. Okay. I'm going to be sincere right now. We've known each other for, I think, 18 years now.

17, something like that. Take care of that before you say your sincere thing. What that my tobacco yeah on my full white outfit i work literally for you because you dress so funky i'm like i'm gonna go all white and then you clearly dress like i dress today it's like a body switching comedy you're not saying another word oh no no no no ever listen you know what's gonna fucking I'm going to predict it right now. I'm about to tell a story about us wrestling, but we're just going to start wrestling in this interview. There's no way we make it through this whole interview with you and I not getting on the ground. I thought you were going to say that you might cry.

I predicted that as well. Weren't we there too? Yes, I really thought that's what you were going to say. Okay, I've not told you this ever intentionally because I think it would weird you out enormously. But I need to tell it because it's one of my favorite stories, okay? This is not a bit. We get Brie on the phone for this.

I have been having reoccurring dreams about you since I was 14 years old. Once a month, in through my 20s, I would wake up, I'd tell Brie like, yeah, I had one of these fucking Robert Downey dreams again. Mind you, you weren't on all the marquees at this point. This is pre-Iron Man. I'm a puffy, but fuck them all.

You were totally. I mean, I would have these dreams. And Robert, they were the same every single time. I bump into you out of nowhere. We start chatting and it's immediate. Oh, wow. We're soulmates. We're connected, okay?

This is 20 years of this. This is not an exaggeration. So one day we get invited over to Jon Favreau's house as I have just done a movie with him and you're about to start a movie with him. A little movie. Oh yeah. Yeah. A little tiny upstart. So we go over there. We spend the evening together. We have no connection. I thought we did. Wait, I know I remember it better than you do because obviously there's a status imbalance so naturally i remember every moment of this and you don't we are soulmates by the way but continue okay on the ride home from the favros i'm observably kind of sad and brie says to me oh honey i'm sorry that didn't go as your dreams always did and i go yeah kind of interesting i

don't think he gave a fuck that i was there, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Bear with me. Two months later, I go to visit John on set of Iron Man. You guys are in that enormous Marina Del Rey soundstage. It's like an airplane. Yes, where they built the Spruce Goose. Exactly. You and I are walking, you're leaving set, I'm walking towards set. We cross each other and I'm so certain that I made no impact that it occurs to me i'm gonna have to remind him that we met so as i'm crossing you i say to you hey i'm dax we met at john's the other night and you said and i'll never forget oh i remember you were the guy getting all the attention i'm used to getting oh Oh, fuck.

Wow. And my soul took flight. Wings came out of my back and I was like, there it is. And from that moment on, in my version of events, then we became friends. If you call us friends and not soulmates, one more time in this interview.

Isn't it wild, dude? Why wouldn't we tell each other? It's those things because everything is known. So I've known unconsciously that you've been dreaming about me since you were 14. And then I probably thought,

well, this is probably what made him so numinous and all this stuff. That's right. Your influence on him. You know, I came in so smart-ass-y and manic and now I'm in my body. Oh, wonderful. And listening and connected. I'm even going to try this horse

shit coffee. It's horse milk. But here's the problem nowadays. I can't even tell where the drink hole is on this. There's so much cream. There is. It takes a bit to get to the actual coffee. Fuck, that's good. Yeah, I know. And now with your permission, Robert, I'd like to go through a couple highlights after that moment.

Hold on one second first. How do you feel the subliminal dialogue is going on with us being reintroduced with him in the high status position? Sure, I'll switch it around. With you there backing his play. I'm going to try to focus most of my energy on you, but I'm going to need a little feedback. So far, we're at 100%. Wow, thank you. I think we're doing really good.

Uh-huh. Notes? No notes yet. Notes. No notes yet. I've done a couple edits already in my head. Of course. Just like three, though.

Monica edits the show, by the way. Oh, I know. Okay, great. Yeah, so I will sometimes look at her, and she has a look on her face that I know the scissors are out, and I should wrap it up because it's not going to see the light of day anyways. Either I've checked out or I'm staring daggers into his eyes like, why are you still talking? Yes, that's happened several times. All right, in case you're wondering where we're at in the edit, you're on Highlight Reel.

Do you have any memories of those two things? Of course. Okay, then we chat a lot on set that day. And then you invite Bree and I really quickly thereafter to your birthday party. And I am like, I cannot believe I've been invited to your birthday party. We go to, this is why I can't tell you any of this stuff. I think I've played it really cool. Would you agree?

I literally would have had no idea. In the line of what you're saying, from day one, we had like five people that were dream guests. And you were on the list. And I was like, well, can you just ask him? I know you know him. You could just ask. And he refused to just ask you. Do you need to take that?

Yeah. She has another. She's on another show right now as well. She does have other shows. Well, they're all under our umbrella. Yeah, but they're your shows. And I thank you for them. Because I do take a little piece of her shows. So does have other shows. Well, they're all under our umbrella. Yeah, but they're your shows. And I thank you for them. They're our shows.

Because I do take a little piece of her shows so it all works out. They're our shows. Our shows. This is what it is like on set with us two without a very strong

director presence is we're just kind of two loose balloons that we know that the helium impact is going to ignite the atmosphere. So we're just kind of dancing until the moment that the strings get cut.

We hit the ceiling and light up the ionosphere. And burn out quick. Super quick. And our voices get all high. So you were going to do a fucking highlight. So God, Jesus, where are we? Okay, so. It's not linear.

I think I need to fast forward now. So initially we get to meet each other through Favreau and then we stay in touch a little bit. Because I guess if I was on the outside and I learned we were friends, I would assume it was from sobriety, but that weirdly was not. Yeah.

I can neither confirm nor deny my participation in 12-step programs. Okay, let me handle that for both of us. Let me bust the fuck out of your anonymity. Okay, what's really important now is that then we have a second mutual friend and this friend is everything. He's the most important human being on planet earth. The male that we're probably both modeling ourselves after. Three, two, one.

Tom Hanson. Esquire. You know, I talk about him so often on here. I mean, I can't stop. So tell us for how long you've known Tom. I've known Tom for the entirety of my career. He is an entertainment lawyer. He's, I'm sure as you've described him,

he is a gorgeous one time ne'er do well. He's the only person in our industry who has no known enemies. He do well. He's the only person in our industry who has no known enemies. He's brilliant. He's great. The thickness of his hair. I know. It's insane.

But it's everything. I've always said that he is the most successful person I know personally, professionally. As a dad to his daughters. Yeah, and his moral psychology is really the thing. Yeah, I know. I love him so much. So then. So how do we show our respect for him?

Let's fast forward how we honor him. We are both lucky enough to get invited to his, was it a 4th of July? Was it New Year's Eve? Yeah. I think it was 4th of July-ish. It was a holiday in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was staying there. You were at a hotel with Susan.

But you came over for dinner. And they sent us to get something out of the kitchen, you and I. And while we were there, we got to talking about martial arts. As you do. At any point, take over from your perspective. Because I'm not sure how it goes from us chatting about it to us full grappling knocking shit over in this kitchen. I think it just exploded, yeah?

It's what soulmates do. There's no explanation. They just are following the fucking blueprint of some celestial plan they're not even aware of. It was one of those testosterone moments where people just gather around to see,

is this where they've had to get in their fast friendship? I think it's like, well, we know we can't fuck each other. So what else is left? I'm going to speak for yourself. You may be tall, but you're worth the climb. Well, we should add we're there with our wives. Look, here's all I remember. It happened.

You're a game person. I don't know if people know this enough about you, but you are someone that should not be taken lightly. You're also tall and strong. You're also a tiny bit controlled crazy. Hail Billy, Gene. Okay. This is a terrible combination for someone who would think you were something else.

combination for someone who would think you were something else. And I know a lot of folks like that, that are from Michigan or Tennessee or whatever. They just have this thing that urban people don't have in a way, because the urban thing is everyone's bouncing up against it. It's really hard to discern. That is a terrible blanket statement. Here's what I'm saying is you are formidable. You are somewhat unpredictable, but I knew I was safe with you because unconsciously as soulmates, I knew that you've been dreaming about me since you were 14. Absolutely. And I have thought about this. Who got the better of the exchange? I want you to say it. I can only tell you like the proudest moment of it for me personally.

Please. I was on top of you in the kitchen, and you said, you're so fucking strong. And I could have like evaporated into pixie dust at that point. What I do remember is my arms had gassed out from the seemingly never-ending strong headlock I'd had you in. Pretty much

from the beginning of the interaction until you fully mounted me. And were they real moves? We were going for it. It went to the floor immediately and stayed there until the end. Okay. But I need to add,

for anyone that might think this was like a 20 second thing, a 30 second thing, people- Six minutes. At least in vegan, shit is getting knocked over. We're not in our house.

We're in Tom and Judy's beautiful home. And stuff's falling off of counters. We have not brought the food back that we're supposed to bring back. And now I start hearing, I think Kristen, you almost done in there. Like we're getting the signal that we're ruining the party basically. But I've thought about it since it's how misguided I am so often. Like, I just want to be your best friend. And in my mind at that moment, I'm like, he will want to be my best friend if I'm stronger than him, which is the most antithetical approach. You know, but do you do those stupid things? We are very similar.

And I also feel that there's very much a six degrees thing with us in that I can easily imagine a brilliant future for me that wasn't realized where I would be sitting in that chair and you would be sitting in this chair. And I think there's an understanding. We both share the same brain disease. We both have the same kind of semi-tamed, wild, manic energy. I'm always happy to see you because then I realize I'm not the only one who looks bugged out half the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think there's just a lot of similarities. But I think more than anything is this power of partnerships. Your whole life is built around these very central, deeply significant partnerships you have.

Powerful. Yeah. And they tend to come from things that happened organically and morphed into something else and morphed into something else. And then it's this realization of all I fucking need is us. Do you think there's something for me there is? I can bond and share with Kristen or in this space with Monica. I have maybe a harder time doing that with men. Like there's probably been a lot of men that have come through my life

that could probably have helped me in many ways that I couldn't either avail myself to or it would look like cowardice or weakness, whatever it is, I've been able to accept women's power and allow that to help me in a way I can't with men. Yeah, I was in a couples therapy session with Susan night before last that to help me in a way I can't with men. Yeah. I was in a couples therapy session with

Susan night before last, and maybe for the first time ever, I realized about 40 minutes in, I hadn't really said much and it was going great. And they were kind of figuring me out and he was going, you know, I never really put it together you know with Robert he doesn't need that and I was kind of like this is great I'm not starting a fight to show that something needs to come up and be addressed so we can find some homeostasis I'm not trying to state my opinion with a righteous indignation and basically the good doctor who's I think in senior he's just that blurry voice. Yeah.

Oh, I was curious if that was you on a Zoom with your therapist. Yeah, because he respects himself. He's not, he's not trying to. I wondered if it was your therapist. Me too. Because it mirrored my sessions pretty well. Anyway, Kenyon said, you know, from the outside, it looks like you had this series of missteps and then you were in jails and institutions. And then you did a superhero movie and your life turned around. relationship with somebody who understood how to meet your needs without coddling you and how to

have separateness within your unity and how to have definitive black and white boundaries with you. I've observed this spending time with you and Susan. When I'm around the two of you, I go, these two were really made for each other. Certainly Robert needs her. She was made for each other. How does she implement boundaries? Can you give an example? Here's my favorite one. I'll say this. When I'm in one of my moods, she will not engage. She will not follow me down a rabbit hole. Oh, wow. And it comes off to me as neglect. This was one of the big kind

of breakthroughs. I mean, you'd think we'd have gotten to this before, but you know, like you hear it and you say it and you feel it and you agree to it and you sign off and you check all the boxes, but you still haven't processed it and integrated it. She is just naturally not prone to enmeshment and dysfunction. And it is stunning. It's like she's staring at the teacups at Disneyland. She's like, yeah, I'm not getting on that ride. I'll get nauseous. Why the fuck would I get on that ride with him? Not to assign roles.

And again, I just think relationships are everything, particularly if the relationships are based on a deep trust in how consistent we will be with each other. Doesn't mean that we can't fall away a field and be admitted back, but we're not admitted back with the same rules as before. We're constantly updating and integrating this thing because we're hell-bent on improving ourselves via each other. So when you find someone that really can do that. So we also try not to assign roles that she's the sequential thinker and I'm the associate of one because we're always combinations of those.

But generally there are lanes. So it's not uptight. It's just super consistent. Have we started yet? We're about to. I only have three more. I only have three more questions and then we'll start. I guess I just want to take

us next after the wrestling match. Now I'm scared it's going to end. Thank you. It's never going to end, guys. Okay, we can relax. It certainly isn't going to end with him on top because while he has improved his martial arts skills 0% since then. But I'm twice as strong as I was then.

That has nothing to do with anything. I have been on a trajectory of mastery. Will you tell people what is your martial arts? No, I will not. Oh, that's even deeper than the alcoholics. No, it felt like a gratuitous ask. I'm passing on that question. You know what?

I'm glad you're passing because then we would just probably end up debating different martial arts and who the fuck wants to listen to that? And you would be incorrect about all of it. So it would be pointless. I concede. I concede.

Yes. I idolize you. I concede. I won't try to dominate you to get you to like me. Next, what happens in our story, which is really, really important to me is I get to be in one of your movies and you're a big part of why I got to be in that movie,

The Judge. That was 10 years ago. Do you realize that? Like right now, that was 10 years ago. Because Lincoln was three months old or something when she came to set. I just figured that out this morning. Then I had a panic attack.

Then I drank more coffee and now I'm back. You are as well-rounded and capable an actor as I have or will ever work with. Oh, come on. And I think you wouldn't hear it from me because you already knew that I loved you. But I think by the time you could tell that Duvall was acknowledging you.

Now, part of it was that you were at close proximity to him. And his lawyer in the scene. But even better is when I could tell he would start talking shit about me and you would go along with it, which is when I actually finally felt perfect. Your job was done. Yeah.

Probably the highlight of that whole experience was Billy Bob Thornton saying the internal dialogue of Duvall while he was sitting there in the courtroom. And it went something like this. I don't know how that horse bucked Rex. He's a hell of a cowboy. I got to try that sushi place that Downey's talking about. Says it's number one in the country, but I didn't like it the first time.

I got to try that again. To watch Billy Bob just narrate what he was thinking. I don't think I've ever seen anything better. That's the other thing too. I love this idea of, you know, I'm number one on the call sheet. It's called The Judge. It's about Duvall, but it's my fucking movie. Now, Duvall is the legendary artist in this movie.

You come in, you start kind of like getting in Duvall's good graces, which is damn near impossible. And I'm like, this is good because you're really fucking good. And then there's Billy Bob that is so in his own category as a person, a human, and an actor that you go like, no matter how good any of us think we are, we always want to just be who we are and where we are. There's always this tertiary element, which is if you seek the opportunity, the opportunity to just appreciate someone like Billy Bob. Who's floating in on a magic carpet. Yeah, but also by his own admission, the most neurotic person we'll ever meet.

So in a way, it also shows our neuroses informs our ability to do certain things well, maybe even not at the bleeding edge of the cultural expectation, but there is always a cost and managing that cost is what makes you cool. That's what's actually great about Billy Bob is he is as comfortable in his own skin as you could ever be while being very forthright about all of his phobias, fears. I'll give you one example. And I think he would not mind this. Here's prime example is he'll go like,

I had to move out of that hotel room. Too much fabric in there. I was thinking all the diseases and everything. So much fabric. All those pathogens and airborne pollens. So that's what he was wrestling with. If you're lucky in life in the middle of any moment where you're being spotlighted,

you can imagine how much cooler it would be if the person you're talking about just showed up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And that is a guy who it's impossible that he wouldn't be one of your best interviews ever. Billy Bob. Just giving you an idea. I know.

Maybe you could- We were going to go to his house- I can help. Out in the West Side at one point. We owe a long time. Yeah, yeah. By the way, Jane Fonda, great. The guy that you were all just talking to about the Supreme Court.

Yes, Michael Waldman. That guy's incredible, no? I have to tell you, there's a lot of different podcasts out there, and I love making sport a podcast. I need to, whatever it is that I'm doing, you know, I need to act like— Elevate it. Exactly, right? Yeah, like on Sam Jones, you said you hate impressionists solely because you can't do any impressions.

Yes. Exactly, right? Yeah, like on Sam Jones, you said you hate impressionists solely because you can't do any impressions. Yes, but that to me was so definitive because you were bringing something where you are so prepared. When you say we're not experts, truth be told is everybody loves an expert, but to be a generalist where you can actually hold these kinds of conversations for the layman,

I'll call myself just for five seconds, the layman who's in his dry sauna for 40 minutes, just going, wow, I didn't really know any of this. And this is so important. Agreed. Was that the most challenging role of your career, playing the layman for 30 seconds? Challenging. By the way, you are going to be my vocal coach for this next job I do. I'll tell you why offline. All I have to do is listen to you do this endless advertisement copy.

I could just use it, but I would rather give you the honor of actually, you might be my acting coach too. Oh my God. I have so many hats on this. Well, the acting part. Is this for Vertigo? Am I going to be somehow involved in Hitchcock now? You dragging me to all the greatest parties.

I just need you to go to the top of really tall buildings and tell me what it's like. Aren't you honored? I'm incredibly honored. What I'd like to do is what if you could give me the medical condition of Vertigo and make me do all your blocking? Like send Shepard up. He's got really bad vertigo. Put him on that ladder. Let's see what would really happen. First of all, that is literally beneath you.

No. I would want, by the way, and I would take this seriously too. Wait, really quick. Trevor, your friend is here and a producer on Downey's Dream Cars. He produced Downey's Dream Cars.

He's been with us forever. The great thing about Trevor was he cold called Team Downey. Fuck yes Oh I love that I've been waiting for someone Like you to enter my world Like that

Excuse me That was me I know but you're too rich now You don't do a fucking thing Oh She's got the house Across the street Finding work

Oh how the mighty have fallen I did buy the house So I am done I am done Yeah she's done Yeah right She's building a house Across the street

Robert This is the American dream It really is Yes It really is I am done. Yeah, she's done. Yeah, right. She's building a house across the street, Robert. This is the American dream. It really is. Yes. It really is. And I think you and I, because this is one of the topics I want to talk about. Do we wrap everything up?

Time to switch gears? I'm sorry. Am I running out of time now? Vertigo is done. Vertigo done. Okay. It's not vertigo. I'll tell you what it is.

Okay. He is someone from Indiana, Michigan area, and he is a retired detective. Ooh. And I want to talk a lot of shit. I need to be able to improvise, and you are going to be, I don't want to say dialect coach that's beneath you. You're going to be my acting coach for it. Oh, my God.

Hi. Can I be on a microphone somewhere in these scenes? Yeah. Okay. Can I be your stylist? Oh. Absolutely. Okay. And will I only wear your small, petite frame clothes? Yeah. Okay. Can I be your stylist? Oh, absolutely.

Okay. And will I only wear your small petite frame clothes? Correct. See, that's a new twist on this guy. You don't have a lot of retired detectives who cross-dress

in micro-clothing. Mixed messages. So many things, yeah. It's not just that you dress like a gal. It's that you dress as a very small gal that doesn't fit you.

I have body dysmorphia. It's a lot of different things. Wait, Trevor, that's where we were and we cut off. Trevor, yes. So Trevor Cole called Team Downey, which is incredible. Yep. And lo these many years later.

How many? 11. Oh, you were there during the judge? Technically, yeah. Technically, yes. They had let me on set though. Yeah, you weren't ready. Well, truly, you weren't ready.

None of us were ready. By the way, I'll tell you by accident, Trevor wound up being the only assistant that has ever been on a Chris Nolan set. Wow. Congratulations. That's huge.

And even for Chris, it was such an anomaly that when he saw him wondering why I didn't just disappear, it was almost like that chaplain thing. And Trevor told me what the moment was like because he had a reason to be there on this important day

and I had cleared it. But I think Trevor wanted to like just put a lampshade on his head and pretend he wasn't there. Yeah. But at that point, hair director knew who Trevor was. And he's not really that uptight. It's just you make a rule because it's all about discipline. Anyway, congratulations.

You were in Chris Nolan's eyeline and you did not have to evaporate. Wow. You're strong. We're going to have you in separately to spill the tea or whatever they say. Maybe on the fact check.

You could come on. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. and they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whims. We were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and of course, a great shower. Expedia, made to travel. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme.

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you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. What's that fucking crazy dog of yours name that we met? Frank. Frank.

Yeah. Are we going to have any cutaways to Frank here at any point? Always. We've got like a treasure trove of cutaways. Yeah. You know, if you don't mind that we recycle a few of them. Okay. Wait, we're really going to do that.

We're going to have to add that in. I would appreciate it. So all I wanted to do, I wanted to thank you publicly because you were really instrumental in me getting to be in that movie. I became best buddies with D'Onofrio. I fucking love him so much. I know you do too. That's another.

You could just go down the D'Onofrio rabbit hole. And by the way, no one is going to be more pissed off that you're my acting coach for my next job than Vince D'Onofrio. Well, no, Jeremy Strong's going to be a little bummed too. Jeremy's too busy. Okay, okay. Jeremy's too big for us now. Okay, well, Jeremy Strong's going to be a little bummed too. Jeremy's too busy. Okay, okay.

Jeremy's too big for us now. Okay, well, okay, yeah. Maybe you'll be his acting coach. Can I say something to you? I do need to do a little sidebar. Day one of shooting, almost, there's a funeral. Jeremy's there.

He's not even working that day and he's taking pictures and he's in character. And from jump, everyone would be like, oh God, look at him. He's so into it and blah, blah, blah. And look where he is now.

Oh, yeah. So I always want to say for anyone who wants to cast aspersions or have opinions about what someone's process is, just does that process work or not? Yeah. Totally. That's one of my favorite things. You would have no idea because you just started listening to the show in anticipation of coming here, which I do appreciate. That's more work than most people do. because you just started listening to the show in anticipation of coming here,

which I do appreciate. That's more work than most people do. But had you been listening to all 600 episodes, you would know that I regularly use you as an example, which is you have the confidence to go like, look, I've tried every version. I was Charlie Chaplin. Add some God knows what to the mix.

Charlie plus cocaine plus whatever. But you did that. You did method. You lived Charlie Chaplin. And then you've had total chaos. I've heard people say that the earpiece is a cheat. And I've watched you with an earpiece. And I'm like, I don't know how this guy's doing it.

He's improv-ing with us. He's also got all these insane speeches that are coming out perfectly. You're fucking emotional. I'm like, I've stood on the business end of it. And it's insanely moving. So yeah, whatever process gets the results. There's part of what we're doing that's really important and needs to be revered. And then there's part of what we're doing where we're essentially game show hosts.

And I think that sweet spot between how serious is this really? But strangely enough, going back to Nolan, the Nolan thing was like being off book for a three-act play. Oh my God. And that's only because I was wondering, am I one of those people who has lost the ability to function because I've become so lazy and have so many crutches? And the answer was a definitive no.

I am intact. You're fully functional and firing on all six cylinders. We knew that within the first five seconds of you coming in here. I want to apologize for coming in a little scattershot. And Rob, this coffee is making me ill, but I'm going to finish it because I also know when I saw you in the driveway, you've probably been dreaming about me since you were 14. 12.

Oh, wow. You were right in the pu. 12. Oh, wow. Right in the puberty transition. Those dreams are different. Do you want to do a three-way leg lock with me and Dax later? Yes, please. Okay. Listen, when this concludes, 9 or 10 p.m. tonight,

we will be going out into the grass back there, and I'm going to get out of these white slacks, and it's going to be a battle royale. We're going to see. The idea that you think it's going to make it to the ground this time is what I find enticing. I love it. Okay, you didn't let me finish publicly thanking you. You're going to think this is hyperbolic,

that I'm trying to just flatter you. This is not. This is truly my story. If I ever wrote an autobiography, this would be part of it. You fought for me to be in that movie. I got to be in it. It was an incredible experience.

Top few of my professional life being in that movie and getting to talk with Duvall and meet these people was incredible. The studio really liked me as it turned out. They wanted to see what I wanted to do. I got to direct Chips literally because of that movie. And what a fucking gift. I mean, if that little piece doesn't come first,

I don't get to do that. And it was the most incredible thing ever. And you gave that to me, and I thank you for it, sincerely. We help each other consciously or not, right? Which I guess means we also hurt each other consciously or not. That's the thing to keep an eye on. Yeah, I guess it goes both ways. God, this tastes like Frank's asshole.

As you chug it. Okay. If you look at that fucking $50,000 watch one more time, I'm leaving. This is the first time I looked at it.

And it's because I'm trying to be conscientious. That's why I'm saying twice would be too many. This is a $1,000 fake gold watch. Okay, are you giving me that one? And it's yours. I want you to have it.

I'd like you to have this alligator clip. You know, because I have some questions for you motherf it's yours. I want you to have it. I'd like you to have this alligator clip. You know, because I have some questions for you motherfuckers too. Oh my God, good. You brought a binder. I have a crotch full of Nicorette wrappers. Yeah, boy, get the two of us together and just someone's got to be walking around with a 50-gallon trash can with all the fucking nicotine. Are you a constant?

No, you are. Hundreds of pieces a day. Did he just take the watch off and then put it back on? I was going to throw it to you and I realized you were out. Hold on, hold on. Don't think about this answer. Who's more neurotic, him or me? I know him better than you, so I should say you because he'll be mad at me.

I won't be mad, but I think you're more neurotic than me. I say this also about you behind your back. I don't know how we would evaluate it, but let's say that there's a spectrum, zero to 10 for addiction. And I got it pretty bad. I think I know how we would evaluate it, but let's say that there's a spectrum, zero to 10 for addiction. And I got it pretty bad. I think I'm probably an eight, but I'll give you this credit. I think you're a 10. I think you're the most addict-y motherfucker I've ever met in my life. He'll get going on these gums, Monica. You've never seen anything like it. He's just endlessly pulling them out and putting them in his mouth and putting more in.

You can get wild. That's funny that you say that because when I watched the movie, Senior, I thought, oh, his addiction is more based in his life or like his youth as opposed to his chemicals. I thought the opposite. Oh, you thought like genetically? But just think his dad, we learned in senior, an addict. First of all, she's right. Oh, okay. So let's just go on that basis.

Thank you. Wonderful. There we go. Then I have no follow-up. Is that going to be okay for you? Absolutely. Her win is my win. We're a team.

But you're the same. You're the same with the gum. You guys are probably on the same level. That's what I'm saying is if you put us in his trailer with an espresso machine and unlimited nicotine, I'm just saying lock the door. Yeah.

Because it's going to all get consumed in the next hour and a half. The great thing about us is from the time we've met, we have been on the same trajectory of there has never been a night where you and I were going to go into the fuzzy deeps of shadow play. We have been basically sound of mind, best as we could be, since we met. And we've been on that path. There are just two worlds. There's the shadow world and there's this. That's it. Yeah.

And you're trying, I'm trying to have the, I still need something. I need to be wrestling my caffeine consumption or my nicotine. I got to be busy with that. Yeah. Well, what I also like, look around at the people that are charged with till death do us part with you, you know, wife, kids, closest associates. If they're at peace with how we're clucking along, no matter how much coal we're shoving into our weirdo little engine, it's like you go, okay. I always look for when are the people closest to me seeming out of balance because of my lack of integrity. That's when I know, all right, I got to shift something here.

We're all just weird animals. It's fun. Yeah. Okay. That actually brings me to Senior. I texted you today telling you I watched it while I was working out and was totally crying while lifting. I recommend. I was dead lifting quite a bit of weight with tears streaming down

my face as I watched you and your father in the bed. I had the same thing. My dad got diagnosed with cancer in August. I was with him nonstop in Michigan. He died December 31st. So it was like three months of- What year was it? 2012. Yeah, I remember. Yep. So much of it reminded me of that experience. And it's such a multifaceted experience for me. And I'm going to guess for you, which is first and foremost, the amount of gratitude I have that I was there is maybe the apex of gratitude. I can't believe I was there and I did it right. I have done so many things wrong

and there's so many moments in my life I couldn't have been there. But just to get to do that is an enormous gift. Would you agree? A hundred percent. And again, speaking of partnerships, I initially started thinking of conceiving letting senior happen kind of as a

defense mechanism and an avoidance technique, I realize now. And then at a certain point between Chris Smith and Kevin Ford, and then really Susan had this moment where she goes, you know, you can't make a senior documentary like a senior movie, like The Last Hour for us, this very disjointed, nonlinear kind of fest. Yeah, yeah. She goes, you have to think of this in a three-act structure, and you have to start thinking about your closure with your dad, whether it's monitored or not, because otherwise,

forget that it won't make sense to anyone who ever watches it. It won't make sense to you. And so that last trip to New York and the fact that Exton, our son, wanted to go, it was almost like I got to do it with a generation of downies that are untouched by the ugliness of addiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's almost like I needed to be filmed, monitored, and graded doing it in order to do it. And by the way, so did your dad.

Yeah. Which is even deeper. It's wild to see how much movies is your dad's life. He couldn't frame anything outside of that. Well, that's what we realized too, was he was only going to talk to us through the language of what film he was doing at that point in his life. And because at the end, the film he was doing was the film about his life. He needed to do something else because it made no sense. It wasn't a film he was doing. I mean, look, you know, it was very Pirandello, play within the play, all that stuff. But the crazy thing is being at the Castro Theater in San Francisco, where he had gone up for one of his films or premiered, or there might have been Greaser's Palace in like 72.

And I realized that that film had screened there. And now I'm watching a screening of Senior from the back, looking at it on the screen with these kind of like set pieces and stuff back there. And I had one of those definitive quantum moments. And sometimes you have these on set. Sometimes you have them in, sometimes you have them in life or you have them in transitions to life where you just go, just stand here. If you can understand this, because this is actually what life is. If you're lucky, you get to actually

just stand there for a second and see this thing and you hold space and time and grief. Nuts. Yeah. Yeah. It's really beautiful. The thing that I started crying thinking about is it felt to me like the movie was maybe one last ditch effort to understand your dad as we try to understand our dads and ourselves. That's the journey, right? Yeah. Even your dad says it in the movie. He's like, I have no clue who I am and I'm not going to know. By the way, were you trying to lure me in with a fugazi so I could tell you you're wearing a really cool watch and you could tell me it was low rent?

Are you trying to play? I wanted to admit to you that it's a fake gold watch. That's all. I didn't want to be deceptive to you. It's a fake gold watch. So you wore it so that I would ask you and you would tell me it was a fake. I wear it every day,

every single day, whether you're here or not. And by the way, also we exist when you're not here. Do you know that, Robert? It doesn't seem necessary. When you're not here, we're still here. Can you believe that? That's your mistake.

Well, now you fucked up the most important thing I wanted to say about the senior. I know what you're doing. I doubt it. Monica? He's trying to avoid this. I'm not. We'll get back to it.

Okay, do you have it? Because I don't want you to lose it. Go ahead. I thought it was so beautiful that your son to avoid this. I'm not. We'll get back to it. Okay. Do you have it? Because I don't want you to listen. Go ahead. No, no. I thought it was so beautiful that your son, how old was he? 11? 12? He's 11 now, so he was eight and a half, nine.

And with clarity saying, I want to be there so that I have memories for when he passes. To hear a very small person be able to articulate that, showing the growth between the three generations, truly. Maybe the only growth. No, it's not. That's not true. You see the vulnerability increase throughout those generations. And that's the moment where you're like, oh, yeah, it's been done. The growth is compound. Yes. And now let me, because we're all in this same kind of business where we're always doing something and we're here in this moment, but I try to always divorce myself from the idea of what will it be like when this is a product.

But from the second I saw that scene with Exton, where he says that and the whole audience just gets choked. Yes. I was like, we got him. And I hate to say it because there I went back again. But you're doing two things. I'm doing two things. You have to do two things.

And in that moment, I was like, you know what? I think act three in this thing is really going to work. And by the way, act three is my fucking dad dying. Yeah, no, it really works. Act three is a rocket ship, dude. That's when I started crying. You got Cat Stevens montage, fucked me up. That's right. And then you got Nick Drake. Fuck you. What a cheap shot. Nick Drake. Come on. We're dusting off Nick Drake to fuck with Dax while he's lifting his weights,

trying to get big, be a big boy, press his friend, Robert. I know. Let me tell you what my conclusion now that you've avoided it. To me, it felt like you were trying another attempt at really understanding this man. Your father was very interesting and original and peculiar. And I think if I had to sum up what he might've said, and this is what made me cry, I think his point of view was, life is a hundred year long joke.

And then in the scene, I realized, no, it's a fucking tragedy. We live in a fucking tragedy. You love people, they die, you die. Everyone loves you. And you try to laugh your way through it. You try to joke because it is a tragedy, but it catches up with us all the time.

The joke turns on us a lot. I mean, even like when you discover drugs, you're like, yes, what a joke. This is hilarious. Now I feel like a cartoon character. You know, now I'm really getting one over on the universe. I'm having a blast in this technicolor kaleidoscopic dream of mine.

And then it catches up with you because again, it's a fucking tragedy. The joyful participation in the suffering of mankind is really what I got. And you can either laugh or cry through the whole thing. We know where it's going. The other day, I sent some really, I thought, very funny. I'll play them for you after the bit.

And somebody said, oh, this is going to be in Exton's movie, Junior. That definitely crossed my mind, too, is that you will most certainly, and you'll have to be, a subject of his exploration of you. Who even knows what a documentary will be like in 30 years? That's true. I think it'll all come around. I really liked about the movie. I mean, it's so beautiful, of course, but the beginning is a little like, what's going on?

You are like, I don't... It's like his movies. Well, exactly. And kind of, I think, his life. Like you said, it's chaos and you're going from one thing to another and he's directing within the directing and it's like, what is going on? And then at some point it becomes lucid and moving and poignant. And I feel like, oh, that's the trajectory of his life. It kind of mirrors that in a beautiful way, I think, whether you did it on purpose or not. Well, Susan Downey was involved. So the execution of that cut is very purposeful.

And Chris Smith, he and Susan really hit it off. They're both just really high level thinkers. It was so funny when you're saying that. I was just thinking it's kind of like life. It starts off like this confluence of probabilities. And then as it gets more and more real and closer and closer to its finite nature, hopefully, if you're lucky, I'd much rather have it begin in chaos or even begin with promise, descend into chaos, and then reorganize at a higher level. As opposed to it being reversed.

Yeah. Where life just gets more and more and more untethered and chaotic. We know those stories and we saw them. I mean, just even look back from 2020 until quote unquote last month. How many relationships in the crucible of the pandemic became the chaos that wasn't managed? And then other things kind of fused together in a way that I think was probably better than if it hadn't happened. Yeah, if you made it through. I barely made it through. That was a wild stretch. Isn't it great too? Like, none of that matters. I remember at the time reflecting on you because,

you know, this idea that you get long-term recovery and that it is like a treasury bond is the biggest joke in the world. However, as humans, I think we're conditioned to say this thing that seems stable, I can absolutely count on it to be a solid, unmovable object. And so in another way, I hate to say it, but what a great service I did for so many people for so many years when I showed this is how messy things can get. This is how quickly they can get that messy. This is how much freedom you can lose in a short amount of time. Why don't I volunteer for that? No, no, I didn't put my hand up. No, your hand was up. Yeah. But it wasn't consciously up and consciously doesn't matter. That's not how things work around here. Can I ask you one question about jail? I had one question

about jail. Yeah. I've never asked you about jail. Oh. Well, I actually have two questions. But one is, how long were you in there before you actually accepted, oh, I'm actually in here? I can imagine myself,

because the denial muscle in us is the strongest, especially if we're at apex addiction, right? Yeah. Dianetics isn't happening. Those aren't police lights behind me. They're not going to give me a breathalyzer. I'm not carrying any.

You're just in denial of everything. I'm curious, like how long before? I'm going to see if without thinking about it, I'm just going to try to give you the flashcards. Yeah. I'm in court. I'm being over-sentenced by an angry judge. And at some point he said something in Latin.

Oh boy. And I thought he, he said something in Latin. Oh, boy. And I thought he was casting a spell on me. And he was. Two weeks later, I'm in a place called Delano, which is a receiving center where they decide where you're going to go. Arguably the most dangerous place I've ever been in my life because nobody is designated if they're a level one, two, three, or four criminal. Everyone's there. Yes. And you could

just feel the evil in the air. And that was no trouble at all because it was kind of like just being in a really bad neighborhood and there was no opportunity there. There was only threats. So yes, everyone is going to take your wallet. So watch it. And I remember walking out at one point when I popped out of my cell to go to the shower. By the way, this will be the best soundbite. And I didn't know it, but I was a little spun out and I had my underwear on backwards that put the entry. It's an invitation, really. And I remember eliciting some strong chuckles and jeers

from my fellow inmates. And once I'd gotten through that, then I was transferred. And then the rest was walking onto the yard that you're going to be doing more than a year on for the first time. The closest thing I can associate it to

is to being sent to a distant planet where there is no way home until the planets align. But the short answer is two weeks. And I would say this, I hate to say it, about anything for anyone regarding any transition. Because we are programmed to, within a short amount amount of time be able to adjust to things that are seemingly impossible and for me there's worse things that could have happened than being sent to an institution by far sure however we can only go by what we know and i would imagine if i had to guess that was the worst thing that happened to me yeah day 15 was a ball oh my god by day 15 i'm playing literally by day, I'm dialed in.

Yeah. This is my question. What was your strategy? The most important thing. Because you're very cute. Thanks, hon. I was quite nervous. As long as you have the willingness to do harm, it is unlikely that you will be targeted. So it really is that thing of what is the difference between acting like you're willing to do harm and actually being willing to do harm? I remember the extreme example. And whoever said this is an idiot. They go, always have a plan to kill whoever you meet.

Which is probably one of those like safety experts who was like a black ops guy or whatever. It's like, shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I hear a lot of that stuff. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, two weeks. Okay. How did you friend up with people?

How did you decide, okay, I'm going to try to pile up. Motherfucker, you don't have friends in your joint. You got acquaintances. Okay, how'd you pick your acquaintances? What's this character's name, by the way? Huh? Clyde Bobin. Watch this character's name, by the way. Huh?

Clyde Bowman. I've been in and out of 32 maximum penitentiaries. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I'm Cliff Bovine, or Clyde. I love Bovine. Just to wrap this up, there's a handball court, depending on what the politics were, is when whatever your particular pigmentation was had access to that court.

And like anything, did you ever see Midnight Express? Oh, yes. It's kind of like you could say, how long did it take him to get used to being in a Turkish prison? Two weeks. Okay. That's the biggest fear I think I've ever had that I've, by the grace of God, avoided. It's shocking I never was in there. I think I would have gotten killed. I'm telling you

right now, you would have been fine. Oh, wow. Maybe I'll go. Okay. We're getting into Downey's dream cars now. Senior's incredible. Is it nominated? It's going to be nominated. We don't know how that works. Do we know? It should be. Is this the season? First of all... I'm going to cast my vote then. Great, great. First of all, who fucking cares? this the season? First of all, I want to cast my vote then.

Great, great. First of all, who fucking cares? Sure. Second of all, if and when it goes down this trajectory,

I'll get behind it. I think Chris Smith is one of our great American storytellers. Was he in it? You see him once or twice, but I mean,

back to American movie. Oh my God. To Jim and Andy. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. To 100 Foot Wave, to Executing Tiger King. He also did American Home, which is an incredibly weird documentary about four bizarre homes. I urge you to watch it. Oh.

One of the dudes designed the world of tomorrow at Disneyland in the 60s, and he turned his whole house into a world of tomorrow. And he can drive his recliner around the living room when he crashes it. Oh, wow. You would love it. Even things I don't know about him and I'm crazy about everything. He is an incredible person and would be meaningful to me for anything that came his way as a result. Yes. Yes. I already got a fucking Emmy. I don't need another one. I don't remember what. Ally McBeal? Probably. Probably. Are you almost an EGOT? Not just yet. What do you need? I'll get a fucking Emmy. I don't need another one. Fur. I don't remember what fur. Ally McBeal? Probably. Probably. Are you almost an EGOT? Not just yet.

What do you need? I'll get there. Grammy. We'll get you one. We'll get you one for this podcast. Oh my God, it's not impossible. It's not. I've got like three questions I would never ask you in real life, but now that I have

you sequestered here. I'm here to help. Okay. Can I say something? Can I just do a quick assessment of this episode? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what we've got in the first half hour.

I think it's fucking trash. No, you're wrong. I'm going to leave it to you. And I know I'm wrong, but I also want to lead into the wrongness because this thing needs to fucking hum from jump. This is because you grew up in a movie house and all you can do is see. Your brain is formatted in a three act. That is how your brain works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're going to have to trust us that we know how these work. Is there a crawl? What's that? Like a credits crawl? Yeah. No. Are we just starting with action?

Because I don't see where that is if we want to do that. There'll be some light chit chat off, Mike, and then Monocle seamlessly integrate that into... It's going really well. Yeah.

This is an incredible episode. I mean, of course, I don't show up for things that don't go well. All right. I do have some questions, though, that have been burning a hole in my... Boring alert. Let's go really well. Yeah, this is an incredible episode. I mean, of course, I don't show up for things that don't go well. All right. I do have some questions, though, that have been burning a hole in my... Boring alert. Let's go.

Okay. You have to forgive me. I'm from Michigan on a dirt road. Hollywood was a very exciting thing for me. The Outsiders was a very exciting thing for me. Everything that was happening in the 80s in movies was very fucking exciting. So for me, forgive me, the notion that all of you were going to the same high school, to Santa Monica High School,

and then I have a director from Parenthood who told me he was once in a class C between you and Rob Lowe, and his chances of getting a girl to look at him were fucking 0%, 0.0%. To me, it's so amusing. What, you had the Sheen brothers at Sam Ohai? We had Ramon Estevez, who is the most eccentric of the Sheen brothers.

He taught me how to tap dance when we did Oklahoma the Musical. Oh, my Lord. He is one of the all-time great humans on Earth. Do we have the Penn brothers there? They were gone. Sean's older than you. Yeah. Charlie might have just been coming in.

Me and Ramon were in the same grade. What about Chris, Ben? Chris might have been out. I think that some of that is storied because it's in like a roughly somewhere near class of 83. But I wouldn't know because I never graduated.

By the way, I wasn't looking around going, I wonder what other motherfuckers here are going to be of 83. But I wouldn't know because I never graduated. And by the way, I wasn't looking around going, I wonder what other motherfuckers here are going to be of note down the road. My money's on this guy. I was scaling the fence after I did

Teacher's Assistant with Mr. Jellison, the greatest theater arts teacher of all time, and leave. And by the way, there were easier ways to get out. It was just the only place that I knew

they weren't going to be expecting me to try to ditch school. Okay. It had to have been a 35 or 40 foot tall chain link fence. I would ditch school. I would go smoke a joint. I would come back in around fourth, fifth period because Jene Gravino,

the object of my affection, had a typing class that I would try to bust into. Okay. You'd have thought I'd have learned at least to type. No. Were all the girls, just be honest, they were obsessed with you? No. Besides Janae? Because that's why you wanted her?

We should do a whole other episode just about Janae, but there was one point where I want to say my life is due to three girls from Santa Monica High School. Kelly McReynolds, Amber Gilbert, and most importantly, Heidi Kozak. Okay. I think there was at one point where I thought I was dating all three of them, then they found out and they all decided to get together and ditch me. It literally was like a sitcom, but it was a huge lesson that I still haven't learned. Having only one object of your desire? Don't fuck with cats. Yeah, yeah.

See, that's actually, if I'm being dead honest, you want to pull a curtain fully back. One thing about you that confuses me to no end is you actually don't seem to have that gear in your scumbaggery toolkit.

No. That's not your thing. No. We have never been together where like a beautiful woman has walked by and you've been like, you know, or whatever, even obligatory acknowledgement. It's gross and it's weird and it's very typical. But you don't fight it, right? Like I always say, I feel very lucky I don't have a food addiction or a gambling addiction, which is shocking because anything I enjoy, I'm going to be addicted to. Yeah. Very much sex addict-y, love addict-y, for sure, for me.

But I don't sense that in you. And that's always been peculiar to me. Yeah. I don't know why I've always been in long-term relationships. Then after Susan Downey, by the way, it helps that by the time we met, I was in my late 30s. She was in her late 20s. And we would be like at LAX, I'd be like, do you and your daughter need help getting through the thing? And I'd be like, oh, this is so fucking hot.

So it's never one thing. Half of it is she's hot and great. She also isn't typical and that she's not effusive she doesn't dress suggestively so there's this thing that's very private and just safe for me and then when she opens the spigot it's gnarly and then there's all the things i look at it the exact same way i look at taking a drink what could possibly be the upside of convincing myself one more time that that would be worth it? And therefore, I don't need to recoil as though from a hot flame. That's an oven. You're not even drawn to the hot flame at this point.

You've been relieved of the obsession. I think there's been times because I also think where are you at? Like, I'll be 60 in a couple years. I think in my early 40s and 50s, I was probably wondering, shouldn't I be getting all kinds of dirt done? And shouldn't I just even just be giving a pass for that? I mean, look at this. Yes, yes, yes.

And then you get to a certain age and you go like, you know what? No one's doing any favors here. We disagree on that. I think there would be a fucking line like they were opening up a Krispy Kremes in the 90s. By the way, if you put hot donuts now. And you know what? I also love when someone else has it. You've got the big zaddy thing going on right now, and I'm just like, let him have it. Yeah, but as you say, you have to monitor that.

You don't look at your DMs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, sure. No one should look at their DMs. I have to have a game plan. Yes. Like everything else. I don't need a game plan.

It's really simple. As soon as I feel mildly activated, I go lock myself in a room. Okay. That's a good, that's a good policy. Yeah.

Isn't Kristen coming in here to say that we got to wrap this thing up? I thought she had ideas. She pulled a no-show on us. That's to make us both want her more. Because she committed

to coming in a few times. That's true. Yeah, and by the way, you know what? I wouldn't want to confuse the audience into imagining that I have some superior moral code. This is all a result of having had my ass handed to me so many times that I don't question. It's not appealing anymore. I have that feeling about many things.

I was just talking to my therapist about it today. I told you I had to go to therapy immediately after seeing Senior. Thank God that was scheduled. Now, were you still pumping iron for that? I lift during all my... If that's what you're asking. Just the ab work. Okay. Who did you envy in that period growing up? Like, what actor were you kind of monitoring going, I should be that person? Matt Dillon. Oh, perfect. during going, I should be that person. Matt Dillon. Oh, perfect.

What a great pick. And I also got to know him. And I just saw him, is the show called High Desert? With Patricia Arquette. Yeah, I just saw him in that. He looks insanely handsome still. I know. But when I first knew him, he took me under his wing.

He had this place on Elizabeth Street that was run by an Eastern medicine doctor that was just really cool. And I would leave his house. And when we'd come back later, there would be all of these things on the door with like girls who had put their phone number on. I mean, he was a level of stardom, intrigue, and being pursued that I think was on that Elvis, Beatles, Marilyn Monroe type level. Yeah. And by the way, I don't mean to sidebar too much, but I saw the Brooke Shields documentary and I realized too that I did get to know her a little bit and I got to run into her strangely in Thailand

about a month ago, but it kind of goes like this. Elvis, Marilyn, the Beatles, Michael Jackson, Brooke Shields. Yeah, that doc was crazy. Incredible. Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. Incredible. And I think the interesting thing about the documentary space is it can be manipulated to give you a false narrative.

But if you just pay attention and use your own discernment and just check in with how you feel about it, you go, you're right. On my five fingers, there were this. Now, going back to your question, Matt Dillon, for sure. Dustin Hoffman, a million percent. Meryl Streep, because I realized she's got this other thing where she's American, but she's really strong with dialect. She's clearly focused enough and versatile enough to keep going from one thing to the next. And it's always her, but it's always a new version

of her that you now take as being the character. Peter O'Toole, just because Lawrence of Arabia changed my life. And if I have to pick a fifth one, did I say Matt Dillon? Yeah, we started there. Okay, let's begin and end. Let's begin and end with Matt Dillon.

I'm with you. Because again, dude, this guy is so underrated. If you look at what he was doing in The Outsiders and Rumblefish and stuff he's done since up and way past something about Mary. Remember that he was in

Beautiful Girls Out of Nowhere? Of course. He was someone who I always saw was like working with great directors and he was picking up from them, but he always had his own version of True North where it wasn't about starting an argument.

It was about always trying to make space for himself while still being agreeable with everybody else. All the while managing immense stardom. How do you feel about Nicolas Cage? I think he is in a category of his own. I'm so glad to hear you say that. Yeah, the same way that Billy Bob is.

That's the great thing is I think you and I are, I don't know. Go ahead, speak for me. I'm flattered by it. I think you and I are, I don't know. Go ahead and speak for me. I'm flattered by it. I think you and I and a bunch of other people are all in this kind of middle space. And sometimes some of us are the ones in the middle doing the dancing on the cardboard and the rest of us are going out. And then you have people who perpetually operate as these satellite entities.

Billy Bob, Nicolas Cage, Crispin Glover, this and that. And then I want to go back too, because I just saw the Michael Fox documentary. John Turturro, for sure. Oh. Yeah. I would be remiss not to say this. Of my generation, the most unappreciated actor,

technically, is Michael J. Fox. If you look at what he was able to do up through, during, and past his diagnosis but forget medical conditions we're all going to be taken down by something none of that matters all that matters is what is in your eyes and that dude no one has ever understood camera timing emotion control camera, timing, emotion, control, confidence, and also being someone who had to jump out of their stature for you to treat them as an equal in a very high-test sexist this that society. He transcended all that. He did it all. What a great pick. I would also say one of those people who's outside the box, Eric Stoltz. Oh. Eric Stoltz is amazing.

In a way, he was too amazing to do something that mainstream. So that's the weird thing. Yes, you're right. Like, why didn't Nicolas Cage ever do Superman? Well, he was going to, but in a way, he can't ever come into this place where the rest of us are kind of dancing. Funny behind-the-scenes thing. One time we were just chatting and I said, oh, this reminds me of one of my favorite movies. You ever see this movie Firstborn? You're like, yeah, I was in Firstborn.

By the way, and you know what I was perpetually? I thought my role in life was to be cast as Milo, his offbeat buddy. That was it. So what are you doing this? Oh, I play Milo, his offbeat buddy. It's a niche industry. I'm kind of nailing it. That was how you saw yourself. It was more than enough because these were real movies. They weren't my dad's indie weirdo, like everybody pitched in five grand

and, you know, we shot for another two weeks. The other career thing for you, I want to say before we do Downey's Cars, which I promise is absolutely right next. You made me promises, promises. What does I believe? Ooh, we got a duet.

That's how we're opening. Okay, what a good song, Promises, Promises. It is a great song. I forgot to say one thing about your dad. Again, this stuck with me. You said it. It wasn't in the documentary, but I heard you one time say that your dad told you,

everyone can act, some people can direct, and nobody can write. Yep. And I'm like, boom. You talk about that all the time. All the time. I'm like, that sums up this entire racket so perfectly. It's insane.

Yeah. Do you think he heard it from somebody or he just came to that on his own? It's so good. You know what? I will tell you this here for the first time ever. I think... You made it up.

I think I accredit it to him based on an extrapolated from all experiences I ever had from him. I got it. I think more it's to cover the fact that he would say things to me like, oof, these Marvel movies. Wow, tough to watch.

Act three, act three, it's like, ooh, what a misfire, huh? Ah, yeah. That doe's good. You can do impersonation. You're this close to doing Dangerfield. I mean, that one is a hair away from Dangerfield. It's fucking third eye.

Hey, my wife's cooking it so bad, the fly's pitched in to fix the screen door. You can't do. Okay, I do want to say this. Are you on a bit of a dip right now? I just packed a lipper

but everything's normal. Everything's going exactly as planned. I want to give you this compliment. You're not going to like it. It's going to be impossible for you to respond to

but I'm going to say it out loud because I want everyone in the world to know this. Marvel is the most successful thing to happen in the film business. maybe in the history of the film business. It's the most incredible thing ever. You look at the top 10 movies of all time, it's virtually all Marvel, right? I'm going to say this is a three-way compliment. People may

or may not know this about you, but they did not want to hire you for Iron Man. How many people had to pass before they gave you that? I wasn't on the list. Exactly. I couldn't be on the list. I was a liability. Yeah, yeah. He's a bad puppy. He likes boogie shoogie. He's a bad boy. He can't help but powder his nose.

Because how far out was it from like major addiction? Well, it's 08. I don't know what year you got out of jail, but it was not long after. You'd done a few things. I love that people think that once I got out of jail, I said, well, there it is. It's time to straighten up in the fire. That's why I said out of your extreme addiction, not jail. Extreme addiction.

Yeah. It was a really bad addiction. You're so fun. Robert, you're going to have to go into a room right now. I can feel it. You're on the verge of going into a room. Gotta walk out of here. Protect yourself. That's right. Welcome to go into a room right now. I can feel it. You're on the verge of going into a room. Gotta walk out of here. Welcome to TNT's Extreme Addiction.

Well, I think there are levels. Like this addiction, this dip right now. Again, that's fine. That's not extreme. No, it's manageable. But it can get extreme. If I start freebasing this. Yeah.

It's all on the table. Wait, but really, how long is it? Because I do want to know because I think that's relevant to why you were a liability. There's a couple things, which is usually things aren't happening concurrently. People presume that, you know, this happened and then you had bad behavior and then you this and this. But I also think this. Here's what I'll say to anyone who is struggling with substance abuse or this and that. How long are you doing it?

It takes about two years. Two weeks, two years. Yeah. Two weeks to acclimate to any horrendous situation. A sudden loss, a serious injury, a breakup. Now, the breakup is different in that the breakup is exactly one year. Okay. The acclimatizing to a jarring situation, two weeks.

And then how to turn- These are Downey's timetables. So I want to publish these as Downey's timetables. How to turn your life around completely to a place where you don't have to convince anybody that you've changed. Yes. Two years. Yeah. Okay.

And by the way, guys, two years will blow by if you stay high. That takes five minutes. It sounds long to you right now, but just think you'll lose two years at the blink of an eye. Two years of abstaining from the offending behaviors. It was a really uphill battle between something about you, your thing, plus Favreau, plus Dan Liebenthal.

And you wouldn't want to say this yourselves. You are Marvel. You three got together and through some magic, you created a tone that then was replicated to great success throughout the Marvel universe. I find that to be incredible. And I think you guys deserve that credit. The level of comedy and the action,

the interspersing of all that, the way that that tone that was discovered in that process is the secret sauce that makes Marvel, Marvel. You can publicly disagree if you want. History is really tricky because is Chuck Berry rock and roll? No. Rock and roll is this force from the cosmos that came down and you can see where its roots are.

You can see where its origins are. They're usually about 30 or 50 years before the phenomenon of a new cultural thing. So I would say that comic books are part of it. I would say Christopher Reeves, definitely part of it. I would say once you had Tim Burton directing a superhero movie, now it was like, well, maybe never, but someday if. And then I think you need the combination of Kevin Feige, who was frustrated at why he had a sense that something unimaginable could occur, but he was being saddled with not having the leverage to be able to do anything

about it. Favreau, and by the way, honestly, if I have to attribute it to one thing, it's two films that came out the same weekend that bombed. One was Zathura. Yeah, yeah, I got to be a part of that. You sure did, and you were fucking great in it. And the movie was really good. Favreau didn't want to call it Jumanji 2 because he was already saying, I don't want to be a repeater. And thank God he made that perhaps ill-fated decision

for marketing or whatever. And I did a film with Val Kilmer directed by Shane Black called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Arguably one of my two or three favorite things I've ever done. Such a good movie. Nobody saw it. Those two failures put Johnny and I in a position where we were like, whatever it is he does next has to work.

Whatever I do next has to be a reinvention, not just of me, because I'm reinvented a little bit now and I'm kind of intact and sound of mind, but I have to finally, I've been at this for ages. It's like, when is this guy, we either got to cut him from the team, we got to cut this fucker from the team, or he's got to win us a pennant. Yeah. This guy's been circling in the lobby for about 20 fucking years. Hey bro, come in the party or go to the parking lot, get in your car and leave. But aren't we all that? Because I think you and I also, luckily, still suffer from this outsider-ness. I don't think it's an addiction thing. I don't think it's even a therapy thing. I think it's a disposition of self-protection by saying,

I am not this thing that is an entity, which is why it's also important to say, like, I would say to you guys, I was looking at your viewership and the influence and what you've done and you wear it like a loose garment. I thought I was going to walk into, it started here and now it's like, you know, fucking Ed TV. And it's literally like this 30,000 foot place that you still make it look like a thing. And there's something about with artifice comes self-deception. So I think there's a natural life extension policy, which is don't buy into that. Yeah. If I never said I want to be a member of this, when you kick me out, it'll be less embarrassing ultimately. Okay. I got to say my piece on that. Now, Downey's Dream Cars.

We talk about this with great excitement and anticipation and some resentment. The notion that you went away and did a car show and I didn't get a call until it was completed just to me seems like a real fuck you. It's a passive fuck you, but the notion that I was never involved in this, I'd like to air that resentment.

That's why there's season two. Okay, it's solved. Look how easy it is to solve things. I'm gonna be your dialect coach and I'll be involved. I'll be a technical advisor. It's not dialect coach. You are literally going to be my coach for this role and dialect is going to be an aspect of it. One of many things that I work on with you. You know what it really is? Not to make a comparison, but one of the reasons I love Jim Cameron so much is he does this thing about Titanic and then this and that. And then he creates a technology that raises the Titanic. And it's this really inexplicable, ongoing, intuitive pursuit of something that only he could do.

And I think we all need to find that. And every one of us has this. It's our own golden thread to how to make sense of our lives. At a certain point after these franchises are hitting and I've never grew up with dough. Yeah. And I'm thinking, am I supposed to collect art? And then we get a car. I like cars. I drive cars. And then I started massing this collection. Our father, our mutual father, Tom Hanson, was involved in a lot of these because he's our car guru. Correct.

Now, a lot of it was just I wanted there to be 22 cool cars. You want to be in a Sir Mix-a-Lot video. When you go to X and 6 birthday party. Imagine this. When you go to X and 6 birthday party. Imagine this. Something that starts out of a perceived self-centered need to demonstrate whatever success means in Western civilization turns into a liability where I'm not you, dude. I don't want to go fast in cars.

I don't want to drive on dunes. I don't drive two-wheeled vehicles anymore. None of that. I want to cruise up and down PCH and run into Jerry Seinfeld and have him say, hey, that's a cool ride. Like, it's all that dumb fulfillment stuff. And then when the Marvel contract was ending, I got asked to go speak at this Remars conference. And I kind of copped a resentment because I felt like these super powerful people really could affect change and really do a drawdown on all this climate stuff. But again, you can't really do that and be one of the two or three richest guys. You kind of got to decide. I'm going to go for industry or

I'm going to go for change. And thinking that the industry will provide the change, that's absolute horseshit. However, if I were in that position, I can only imagine the weight of deciding, what am I going to do? Be a philanthropist? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like try to get green tech to heal our planet. So I started this footprint coalition of great people like Rachel Kropa

and John Schieber is our editor and does a lot, a lot of spotlighting technologies in the space. Gene Krupa's on drums. Big time. John Schulhoff, Steve Levine, Susan's brother run the venture side. So it's this whole big thing. And then I'm looking at these cars and then I'm going, I'm a fraud.

And then I thought, but what do I do? We make stories of our lives. And so my life was, I wonder if I could do a show about trying to make these cars more efficient. You know the reason you aren't involved in season one? I do. You do now, don't you? Because you are so integral to the whole reason I did the show to begin with. I know we're natural born adversaries on this one.

You are a real gearhead. I am, I don't want to say a fraud. I appreciate the aesthetics of it. And I like your aesthetic. As I've told you, I covet your 3.0 CSI BMW. It's incredibly gorgeous. You can have it. What?

I do have a great idea, though. You can have it. I'll Rochambeau you for it right now. Just to see. Let's go. You did it four times. Wait, is it on four? Okay, it's on four.

It's one, two, three, shoot. Okay, I'm ready. But by the way, hold on a second. Hold on a second. One, two, three, shoot. We are not soulmates. We can't even play Rochambeau for crying out loud

I beat you the first time and you're just not accepting it I know you would go rock everyone goes rock I always and then after that I always go paper first because I know people

feel strong about rock this is the most human moment in the whole episode no one knows when to go either three or four I thought I was so vulnerable before no I didn't hear any of that I feel like you've been grounding me.

You've been tethering me. Are you going to wear her shoes too when you wear her outfit? I mean, if I can squeeze these. These are a little big on me. You might be able to wear them. Better. I wish there was a component to this where certain things that were, then again, you know, to be a drag, it's like, you know,

you could do like a big show and they're like, so we got three bits we want you to do after. You're like, oh, fuck. This is why I don't do these shows. Exactly. Yeah, we don't do that. Hey, we always do this thing where we're going to have you try to juggle these tomatoes. What? Why? Well, Heinz is whatever. It doesn't matter. Just juggle these tomatoes.

Everyone does it. It's so fun. I was somewhere. I forget where it was. We're promoting Senior and there's a new hue of things. We're like, hey, man, I have this website and just do this thing where you go and then you float away will you do it and it's like the first time i stood up for myself i just said no yeah i won't yeah that's appropriate yeah back in the old days i would have been like hey life is easy i feel good you feel good now these are challenges to my integrity i I agree.

Well, I'll tell you. Yeah, one way you could go like over brats. The other way is like, I'm a delicate machine. I'll drive home mad at myself that I just did something I don't want to do because it's triggering childhood shit. By the way, I would love you to stop this poor couple who just have a little Insta thing they do that got a little tread and have you go so deep on them on why you can't do this. Listen, can I talk to you two for 10 minutes? It started in 1975.

Do you guys want to sit down for this? Okay, this car show. Yes, it's called Downey's Dream Cars. Downey's Dream Cars. Even I watched it. Oh my god! And I was gonna say, you... Monica, you really like RDJ because she watches— I never watch stuff.

Yeah. Really? Yeah, I don't. It's part of the charm. By the way, I am that person. Well, honestly, I sort of do it— It's tactical. It is a little bit tactical because I am supposed to sort of be the audience.

And if I do know too much, sometimes I think then everything gets very esoteric and I can't bring it back. Exactly. know too much. Sometimes I think then everything gets very esoteric and I can't bring it back. Exactly. And if she hasn't read the book and I have, then she can police when I'm going down, right? So it's actually good. Yeah, but nobody knows what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in this case, I watched. Can I ask really quick? Why? Yeah. Because the publicist said it was very important to you that we watched. Okay, great.

And she said, you and Dax. She included me, so I thought, you know what? It is important that I do that. And I was mad because I didn't want to watch a car show. And then I thought,

oh my God, he did it because this is great for gearheads. It gets technical. They're showing so much cool car stuff. But if you don't care about cars,

you care about the goal. And I cared about the goal and I watched one and a half episodes. You got me beat. I watched all six. You did. Yes, I was struggling to find the time to watch all six. And I was thinking the whole time,

I was like, why didn't this mother come when he- He had to get the tears out. The gains I got though were worth it. But I thought, why didn't this son of a bitch come in when he was promoting one movie? I could have watched one of those movies. But no, I watched six hours of television. Mind you, I loved every episode. Every episode's great.

He's been on this for years. Trevor. We're talking about Trevor again. Yes, Trevor Newhoff, producer on it. And it was this weird thing, too, where anyone who knows me knows that I am a bit of an oddball that would be like, we should do this car about shows. So why isn't the show done yet? Right, I thought of it yesterday. We should do this show

about shows. So I want to get six cars and they'll be turned around when? Like, I need all the cars done before we go. And then what happens is you know. Yeah, yeah. You want to change out a muffler on your old Nova, and six weeks later, they're going,

hey, bro, I still got it at the shop. I just like having your car at the shop. Yeah, a lot of my neighbors have stopped by. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh-sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham. We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni,

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Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsys.

Here's a weird thing. I have to admit this. The two most significant projects I've ever been involved in, in my whole life, have been Senior and Downey's Dream Cars. One was a documentary, and the other was a streaming series for Max because one of them was about taking this intuitive process and turning it into media, and the other was obviously about my dad and not just father and sons,

parents and things and artists and all that stuff. But there were times during it where it was all so nebulous that I was just like, why did I say I was doing this show? And then you start getting these things back. By the time we were in New York driving this 1966 Riviera around the city that I won't say what, but it has a piece of technology on it that really is interesting and useful for monitoring particulate matter and pollution and all that stuff. And by the way, I grew up in that city. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are driving around and you're looking at this screen. It's giving you real-time readouts of how gnarly the air is. And it's nuts how

quickly it can change. And I was thinking, fuck, if people knew. If you put the monitoring of our environment randomly into the hands of the citizens, It's kind of why when social media is powerful, it's powerful because it's instant democracy and opinion leveraged against the powers that be. And when you have deeply entrenched things such as struggle for resources, climate deniers, people that I think are too far out about climate consciousness, coming back to the center that I think are too far out about climate consciousness.

Coming back to the center, I think left to our own devices, humanity tends to do the right thing often enough to not destroy itself, which is a pretty good track record. Yeah, I think so too. Yeah. I think it's like calories on a menu. Let's just say that I loved this chain that made pizzas and had a state in its title. And I went to get my favorite salad and my favorite hummus, which I was under the assumption was a very calorically responsible decision until they started putting the calories on the menu. And I went, oh, no, no, no, that's insane. That's insane. I'll have to run nine extra miles for the salad. So similarly, if you knew that like on 52nd Street,

you're at 15 parts per whatever. And then on 56, you're at, you know, four. Well, guess what? You're going to go there. Well, here's another weirdo moment, which is so funny with life is one of our stops is the apartment that was the first place I was in when I met Sarah Jessica Parker, when I got my first job, tough turf before Weird Science, and Firstborn was in the city right before that. And I was like, oh my God, this is where I came up in Hell's Kitchen. And now I'm here in this car doing this show about this thing. And they go, I think we went by the actual apartment.

And I go, it's all right. Just pretend it's that one. I'll react the same way. So we also know that moment. And that's why it's so great. That one, I'll react the same way. Yeah. So we also know that much. Yes. And that's why it's so great. Because as y'all are, you are making art of your lives and you are creating these impossibly meaningful dialogues. You're creating a informational playlist.

And then I'm sure the same way you've been dreaming about me since you were 14. We're creating in the dream state, what kind of life do I want to have? And we have all these fears and anticipations. And particularly when something seemingly came together and became so popular so quickly out of something that seems so small, I think that would activate some fear, like, is the other shoe going to drop? Was this? And it's not, I don't think it's imposter complex or any of that. I think it's just cherishing and appreciating it so much that it would be awful to have it.

Now we know we'll get over it in two weeks. Yeah. Oh yeah. You'll be fine. So it'll be fine. I'm not worried anymore. This one might be more like a year. You know what?

Yeah. Actually, it'd be 14 years, two weeks, 14 days, times one year. Oh, my God. So Downey's Timetables, it'll be out by Penguin Press. It's going to be a great coffee table book

for this holiday season. that should just go inside all the other books. You're going to have to tackle some timetables you don't want to, like perfect digestion of food before you take a nap, that kind of stuff,

just to fill out the book. Thanks. But back to the show. I'll tell you, so in this show, there are six episodes. You take a nap, that kind of stuff. Just to fill out the book. Thanks. But back to the show. I'll tell you. So in this show, there are six episodes. You do a great, great job. Because if you just went and straight up did a car show, that's a little confusing to me. For you to be in it and not to be novel in some way.

So I think all the kind of Christopher Guest moments, right? Of like acknowledging the world you're in and calling yourself out at times is novel and interesting and new. The most important thing I will say today is Christopher Guest. If any of us could approach the integrity and consistency that that guy has with his work, wow.

Yeah, yeah. It's staggering. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis is your partner. Yeah, and she's coming out of nowhere. She's coming out of nowhere and everywhere, everywhere, all the time, whatever it was. It was so cool. She's badass. She's a bad motherfucker.

I mean, that's what you call not just a power couple. Forget that. That's a couple that we know where he came from. We know her lineage. They find each other. They're still functional. And it's this weird thing of he's had all these wins and now she's having, it's almost like a relationship where the homeostasis is

going, that's all that matters. We just want to keep our little vessel full in this maelstrom of Hollywood insanity and just stay us. I mean, look, we should probably just do a who else is great episode. I'd like to host it with you. Okay, that would be great. Who else is great? That's great. Okay, so six episodes, all your cars, you have this obnoxious K10 purple pickup truck

that you turn electric and I'll rank the ones that I was nervous about. This was one of them. And when you think of a truck, I mean, if anything, deserves some big monstrous V8 and had a big supercharged V8. It had to be glorious

before you fucked with it. It was bananas. When I got it at auction, it was bananas. I then modified it. I then sent it to Speedcore in the Midwest. Which is the greatest.

And they made it a stomping beast and then in its third iteration we did this yeah rich benoit and electrified garage i gotta say at least aesthetically this is the best improvement for me of all the cars that went through the downy filter okay i think it vastly improved the fact that it ultimately ends up towing 200,000 pounds. It's hard to fuck with that. It's kind of a mic drop sitch. Yeah, and by the way, that's why I'm so glad. Were we sure what was gonna be up one?

No, it just seemed like the right place to start. No, it is. No, that was absolutely the perfect first episode. Truly, the one that's hardest for me being from Detroit, knowing those gentlemen you're working with on the program, when you bring the 65 vet in, people are going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Rob, please, Rob.

Yeah, two of the dudes from Long Island. They're a vet restoration company. Chris Mazzilli, Dave Weber, dream cars. They literally have a place called, and now here's the other weird part. Chris Mazzilli and my Weber, dream cars. They literally have a place called. And now here's the other weird part. Chris Mazzilli and my dad were really good friends. That's how you know him. Yeah, crazy.

So you've got this 65 Vette, which is a unicorn. It's a survivor. It hasn't been restored. It was literally concourse level upon purchase. Beautiful, beautiful car. And these dudes are looking at this perfect vet and they're like, one guy's, I mean,

he's basically saying like, I hate your fucking guts for making me do this. Yeah. What was his name? Dave Weber. Dave Weber. Yes, clearly you guys have a wonderful oil and water vibe that is comedy gold.

Such a sweetheart. But if you had been in front of him on the day he gave that standup interview, he would have knocked you the fuck out unless your Wing Chun got involved. I would have sidestepped and eye-gouged him. Redirect eye-gouging. Anything that you start with in Wing Chun is something that you stop a UFC bout because of. So just imagine that.

Okay, right. So kicks to the groin, eye-gouging, shots to the back of the head. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So just imagine that. Oh my. Okay, right. So kicks to the groin, eye gouging, shots to the back of the head. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Testicle extraction, earlobe detachment. Okay.

I don't know these. What are you, in a Burt Reynolds movie? He's always in a Burt Reynolds movie. That's how he lives his life. Stick currently. Stick, stick? What was it called?

Stick. Okay, the vet though. This is probably the quintessential episode of The Six because you're starting probably the quintessential episode of The Six because you're starting with the absolute most amount of pushback imaginable. Even to the point when you guys send it to the electric company whose bread and butter is converting cars to electric.

They are like, don't want to do this. It's such good TV. Oh my God. They're all really worried about this. And I got to say of all of them, the one that I thought, you know what? I would want that car really bad.

It's the Vette. Because the shot of you cruising in that car silently with the beauty of the car being what it is, of all the American cars, that's it from 63 to 67, that VAT is it. And to hear you gently moving through the world, and it's still faster than the big block 71, 454. Because by the way, I had all the same, because I'm saying, yeah, we'll put it, which one? And I was like, push back. How many volts? What'd he say? A million volts? I was like, fuck,

they're a pushback. I want it to be, I called it like New York state flag blue. The whole while they're going, Robert, we got some problems in the car. I was like, you know, I think if it's going to go two-tone, I want kind of a, I don't know, like a creamsicle peach. They're like, what the fuck is this guy trying to finish these cars? Have you guys seen this Celine bag that just came out? Are you guys all familiar with that Celine bag that just came out? It's like two blues. They're almost indistinguishable. Oh, yeah. that just came out? Are you guys all familiar with that Celine bag that just came out? It's like two blues.

They're almost indistinguishable. Oh yeah. And by the way, I would get so crazy too, because they'd have sent over a paint chip and Trevor's like, so I'm holding this up. I go, why aren't the lights on? I mean, I went, it was like phantom thread trying to get through this.

I love that car. That car turned out incredible. And it's gotta be so fucking pleasant to cruise that thing on the PCH on a Sunday. It is, by the way, just because the show's done doesn't mean we're done. You know, some of these cars had to get in shape to be drivable, functional, could be a daily driver.

Some of them, they could only get so much done. So the nice thing is now going back and saying, all right, now how do we make this the very best version of this? Some of them still needed power steering because of extra weight added with the batteries and the thing. None of them really had functioning air conditioning. There's one episode where we're driving in New York and I think it was, yeah. And I mean, it was hilarious. But I will tell you of all of them, the one that I have enjoyed driving the most is the Riviera. Really? It is like an old, perfect New York taxi.

It is the quintessential, my generation, supposed to be the car of the future. It's the one that's the strangest and in some ways the least improved, even though it has a techie element on it. Yeah. And that's my heart. Yeah.

My heart is I can go down a rabbit hole of perfection and concourse and this and that, but I really want something that I agree when I sit in it. It's getting a little spaghetti wheel steering, but maybe it was just because we were driving in New York. I mean, that day was miserable. And yet you still loved it. Oh, yeah. Trevor just mimed something.

He mimed. This is how close we are. He was miming that day I had a neck air conditioner on. Oh, my God. Like kids wear when they're at Little League games if they're in the stands. I got you, brother. I thought what else was cool was, so one of the issues that I bristle against a bit

with the environmental movement is the all or nothing black or white, the shaming, the moral high ground, really dramatic shit. That frustrates me. For some voices in the movement, improvement's not good. It's all or nothing.

I think that's unrealistic. I think there's going to be a trillion stages between here and fucking carbon neutrality. They're all going to get explored. We're not sure yet which one's going to take. To be honest, the electrical car, there's problems. We don't have an infrastructure for it. The federal stations that were built are not being maintained by the states. They're all in disrepair. You know, there's issues. Revolutions are messy. This dogmatic. Often you get half of it wrong. I could give you a point for point critique of the EV revolution that I think it's a problem.

Minimally, I would say it's more complicated. We also don't know what it's like to ride on top of charged batteries. We know that the internal combustion engine has worked. It's away from us. Just the physical ramifications. Just like, remember with cell phones and people and getting into things. And then, you know, you started working on that. But anyway, yes, every solution has potential to create problems.

I'm with you in that to me, if everyone can just take it as a, I'm leaning two degrees in this direction and I'm trying to move it an inch for me. Yes. Based on what feels right. Yeah. Otherwise, I don't think you would ever get any movement. If the ask is purity, then everyone's out. I'm out. Well, it's just too insurmountable.

You can't. Remember Ed Begley Jr. Love him. He has never not been the guy who's at one bleeding edge. And then pick anyone else, and they're at the other edge of conspicuous consumption. But Ed Begley, right? He's a realist. I was on a show with him for two years.

He said to me, don't wash your peanut butter jar out to recycle it. Just throw it away. You'll actually spend more water getting the peanut butter. Like, that's a realist. That's a pragmatic human being that's living on planet Earth. So the reason I say all that is a lot of these cars are not EV conversions. One that was really cool is your mother's Mercedes that you guys turned to biodiesel, took out an old fucking Chevy,

probably a Duramax out of some truck, and then converted it to biodiesel. That thing's got to be incredible. Yes. Let me get the specs. Okay. Most important spec you remember. What does it smell like when you put your nose to the exhaust pipe? Fresh fries. A recycled 92 Chevy diesel 6.2 out of a wrecked Tahoe. Okay. Just before the Duramax, but still great motor. 6.2 liter diesel and converted to biodiesel.

Learning about how they make biodiesel was fascinating. Yeah. There's so many great detours in it, I got to say. It's 65% car show, but it's also like 35% tech show of what's out there. It's really fascinating. Yeah. And look, this was us when production was pretty sketchy, trying to get folks together and also just making sure we had the right ideas. But again, Trev, Dave Lars Lear, who's our director, killed it. I just loved him. And it felt like a small group of people

trying to communicate a big idea responsibly, but having fun. Yeah. It's definitely fun. Good. Yeah, it's wonderful. And you're an incredible host of it. I'm a fucking gearhead and I loved every episode.

Well, one thing I want to mention that I found to be impossible is the mushroom leather i know so it is leather you would not be able to discern the difference between it and it's fucking mushroom and the whole interior of his corvette is mushroom leather and it looks beautiful and it goes to a real hide tanning place where it becomes leather and it's fucking mushroom how cool like that's the shit where i'm like if it's a guilt party, I'm out. Oh, crazy fun breakthroughs that you're going to pay zero price to implement. Yes. Let's double down on those. Mycelium now can be grown at scale. It really does make for good leather substitutes,

packaging. And by the way, the crazy thing is every one of these industries, the ones that have good operators and good founders are being brought to scale. And the ones that don't are people who have a good idea, but like most of us, they're just kind of disorganized and just think that, hey, we should start a mushroom leather company. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like the CBD stuff. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

I'm in CBD deep. Okay. Did you know the Yeah. I'm in CBD deep. Like, okay. Did you know the D in CBD stands for deep? We used to think when we really broke it down that the correct spelling was D-E-U-L-D. Deal. Oh. D-E-U-L-D. Check my work.

That's great. What's up, Dilt? What it is, Dilt? Oh, my God. I have never done this in 600 episodes. I have to pee. I'm landing the plane right now. I have to pee, too.

No, no, no. Don't land the plane. Should we just pause for pee? Yeah, pause for pee. Okay, pause for pee. I've had to piss since before Matt Dillon. Oh, my God. Since pre-Matt Dillon? By the way, it's been urgent, like, pause for pee. Okay, pause for pee. I've had to piss since before Matt Dillon. Oh my God. So pre-Matt Dillon?

By the way, it's been urgent like giving me chills. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Hold on a second. I'm going to try a third pair here.

Oh my God. We're on our third set. Great, great, great. Hello, hello. I'm just glad you haven't changed mics. That's a big pain in the ass. Throwing you the headsets is...

We might need a picture of that. ass, throwing you the headsets. We might need a picture of that. Yeah. I want to thank Rob. I want to thank all of you for allowing me to work with three sets of headphones. It's a record, so you know. We accommodate each other's neuroses. That's right. Part of my thing is not what's my rider.

Just is it okay if I don't wear the headphones? Is it okay if I don't wear the headphones? Is it okay if I want to change the headphones? And just to make sure that you're a good mommy, can I change the headphones twice? That's right. I think even if I'm not wearing headphones, slash can I have all the headphones? I mean, you're dancing around what's really happened,

which is you have all the headphones now because you got to have all, because you're a greedy little piggy like me. We'll get back to this fucking stupid show. Yeah. Have you heard of emotional debt? Oh, no. Okay. Emotional debt is there's four of us. There's eight slices of pizza. I need three. Oh, okay. And the thing that we do to rationalize that, which we'll see it across the boards in a bunch of different areas, is that emotional debt tells us that eight divided by four gives me three.

Because you're owed it? Yeah, I get three. Because you have to have it. Because of the emotional debt. Connect the emotional debt to me. This needs to be fleshed out a little bit. This is not in the timetables. No, no, this is an addendum.

I thought you were going to hit us with like a Phil Stutz level fucking breakdown of emotional debt. And now you're saying emotional debt just is a math issue, really. It's eight divided by four. I'm so sorry that you weren't able to ascertain the meaning behind the pretty simple metaphor. I'm not at that level yet. Yeah. This is like Yoda. I'll catch you, though. I'm running. I'm running at that level yet. Yeah. This is like Yoda. I'll catch you though.

I'm running. I'm running as fast as I can, nipping at your heels. I also need to mention- Wait, is there more on that or no? On emotional debt or Downey's dream cars? Emotional debt. Okay.

Look, I came here to promote both. You have some securities on emotional debt. I'm going to read the remainder of the things you're involved with which is gonna take about 11 minutes and then I have

literally one last question after this list you have Downey's dream cars June 22nd do you wanna try that again without an N dream cars

Downey's dream cars that's right that's your name Robert Downey that's right dream cars June 22nd on discord

we plus slash max the sympathizer I'm so fucking pumped for Robert Downey. That's right. Dream Cars. June 22nd on Discovery Plus slash Max. The Sympathizer, I'm so fucking pumped for. The director from Oldboy. Yep, Park Chan-wook. And you play five characters. Whoa. Four with a bonus. You have five different wigs and three characters.

I play a lot of motherfucking others. Many of them are displayed in the teaser. I'm so fucking excited. It looks tremendous, that show. It is the best representation of what happened encapsulated in a sizzle reel since the first Iron Man. Yeah, it's a tremendous teaser. And of course, I've been driving you nuts for three years

because American Prometheus is one of my favorite books. And you're in fucking Oppenheimer. Yeah. God damn it is that fantastic. Killian, we interviewed him. Love him. What a great guy. Killian Murphy.

He is so beyond exceptional. And also, you know what's really trippy? There used to be a show on TV called like Man Moment Machine about when the right individual at a point in history came up with the right discovery. And I could say the same thing about Killian Murphy and that he was perfectly disposed to have the relationship with Chris Nolan to have this opportunity come up and to have the wherewithal, come up and to have the wherewithal, the gift, and the intestinal fortitude to survive making it. We've been on some tough projects. I have never seen anyone have a bigger lift in the history of my career than Killian Murphy playing Oppenheimer. And I would say that having played Chaplin, having been on sets where other people... You put it up against my lawyer?

My turn as a lawyer? What was his name? Do you remember? I don't. It was like Buddy or something like that. It was something disarming. Yeah. By the way, folks should watch that just to see,

A, it starts off, he's not a great lawyer. No. He's got a good heart. But the truth be told is, he's not a bad lawyer. He just has a queasy stomach. He has a very queasy stomach. He's a bit yacky. And to say that I was a little nervous starting that movie with the cast

and then finding out that the very first day of filming and the very first scene and the very first side of the scene we'll shoot is a two and a half page monologue by me to you and Duvall. And by the way, though, dude, it was that day that I realized, and this is why I'm telling you, you weren't going for a laugh. Your character was fleshed out.

The character was not dissimilar from you, but it was definitely created. You had references for the character. And I think that's the best way to come in. Do it in front of the things and the people you admire most and show that I'm either throwing in the pocket or I shouldn't be on this team.

And by the end of that first day, Duvall, he's still on the fence about everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As you said, he ended up liking me. And he said, I'm not fucking doing that scene again. His kid was great in it. Aww.

That's great. Because we had, I can't remember why, we had to redo that scene. But he's like, I'm not doing it. The kid was great. You see this son of a bitch. I love that you're.

Danny Wilder, film school 101. By the way, what's amazing is that your Duvall sounds slightly like a madman on a subway, too. It doesn't sound anything like Duvall. But if you've been around with Duvall, it does sound like him. Your approximator is on point. Okay. If you've been around with Duvall, it does sound like him. Your approximator is on point. Okay, so, and then, of course, as we talked about, and I'm going to be doing all the blocking for it, Vertigo is forthcoming.

Yeah. Which seems impossible. Perry Mason, your producer on season two, we had Matthew Rhys on to promote it. What a dude. Talk about rhythm. That motherfucker's got rhythm. He's got it all.

That guy's feet are on the ground. Yeah. He's the only person I've ever met from Wales, but I then decided that's his Welshness. Everyone there is probably the greatest. I reverse engineered based on that. Okay. Yeah.

We're not done, guys. No. Sweet Tooth on Netflix, season two. You produced that. Yeah. And people don't know this. You produced this show. Yeah.

This is a Downey production. By the way, I didn't even know it. I'm And people don't know this. You produced this show. Yeah. This is a Downey production. By the way, I didn't even know it. I'm not shocked with this much shit. How could you possibly know? Let's give credit where credit is due. I make faces for Cash and Chicken. My wife produces actual projects. Now, I could say that I was a producer on Downey's Dream Cars or on Senior.

I could say that with Perry Mason, but really all these things come down to people who know how to get things done. Susan being one of those. Yeah, Susan being all of those. And Amanda, who runs Team Downey with her at my behest. I think it's another really important thing is titles are cheap,

but I think knowing just because you can get a credit for doing something, you shouldn't convince yourself that that is actually a skillset you have. Yeah, yeah. So, a lot of producers, a lot of producers in Hollywood. You see a lot of names on those movies. Trevor's a real producer. I can tell.

Yeah, clearly. He has a passing interest in it. He is more of a writer-director. By the way, I'd like to think I'm a writer-director, but I have to write and direct some. Okay, so here we are. This is my last question. I just read all those things.

And here's where I'm going to suggest that I have gone through a similar experience that I think you've gone through. And in fact, while going through it, I realized how stupid it was I never called you for advice. The amount of economic insecurity I have and what a fucking defect that is and how much of my behavior that has driven is preposterous. And so for me, it was just like, well, the goal is to make a shitload of money. That's it. That's

what we're here to do. And then through so much luck, I got to do that. And you did too. And it's a very weird experience. It's much different than i predicted but what i quickly found out was i started doing all this stuff that i always wanted to do and buying these things i always wanted to buy and then i just started feeling and sensing slowly everything's becoming valueless but on the other side of that was a weird commitment to the show that was like oh we already got the, oh, we already got the bells and whistles. We already got the crazy contract. So now what's it about? That's curious. It's always been about this one thing. Back to the drawing board. And ultimately I landed on, we had

this episode with Anna Kendrick and it ended and I went, oh my God, that's what this is about. This is fucking insane. And I get to do this. And now I'm starving again because I re-figured out stupidly what it's about. Obviously, you're 10 years ahead of me on this path, but clearly you've come to the same thing, right? Which is like, why are we doing it? And why are we doing it?

Harrison Ford said it best, money's important until you have it. That's clever, I haven't heard that. That's a smart, concise way to put it. I'm not a smart, concise person. So mine is more this really weird kind of deep dive into what is life doing and why did I wind up here and why would I have set myself up to be disappointed by something that's illusory to begin with. So the real thing is not what am I avoiding and where's my inner work? That's part of it. But part of it is also how can I simplify things just down to the point where I really only feel good when.

And so what you're talking about with that moment with the glorious Anna Kendrick, by the way, it always happens in relation and usually in an unexpected way, though it should be completely expectable with experiences with people other than ourselves. So I think moving forward, particularly after the senior thing, I was like, oh, I'm supposed to step out of the shadow. Now I'm supposed to be a writer, director, and I go, you know what, dude? You're stepping into another resentment under construction due to your expectations of what something is supposed to mean. Let's go back to the drawing board is, as usual, I don't know fuck all. Let's start with the facts. I'm a dumb motherfucker. Chad. No, Becky.

If ifs was gifts, every day would be Christmas. Ew, I've never heard that. I think the smartest thing I can keep reminding myself of is the best thing that's happened to me in clarity and recovery is I have surrounded myself with a healthier group of people and minds and certain things are out of the question. And then you get in this rarefied air of where you get to, on occasion, be at the bleeding edge of culture. And you go, well, what does that matter? Unless I use that access to get more of the same, because it was only in having those peak moments

where I felt like, okay, now I understand what my purpose is, not to chase it and not to be a moment junkie. You kind of want to honor the gift you were given, no? Like the footprint coalition, you're like, okay, I got this crazy fucking gift. Now, how do I honor that? Yes. I also tend to discount and minimize everything, which is also part of the journey. But there's this thing called the Tao of Leadership.

And the person who's lived it most closely to anyone I've ever encountered is Guy Ritchie. Very specific directing style, very not trying to control. But anyway, it came down to this. In some ways, by doing nothing, everything is accomplished. And also, by helping others, all of our goals are met. Those are so counterintuitive, just those two things. Yeah. Because first of all, first of all, I need to do something, Dild. And the other is, others, the fuck is mine? Yeah. Those are my broken, neglected child screams. And then the truth is the antidote to both of them. Right. Well, I'm making a commitment that I'm going to ask for your advice more.

I can only do it in public. Just like your documentary with your dad. I can only do the right thing if I know I'm being recorded. I am hell-bent on finding something to direct you in. A, because it would be so funny stopping production so you and I could wrassle. Or at this point, rather, I would just pox out

and give you a chin check and all your fucking testosterone would be of no benefit. You're not going to use all your tools, though, because you got to keep me camera ready. That's an upper hand I have. You can't be doing the fucking eye gouges if I got a big scene next. There's going to be locks and socks, brother.

We don't know the character. Maybe it will require some... will oh maybe it'll yeah set it in the mma world just all words strange continuity of bruising and healing i thought he broke his nose in that but he realized i popped out i love you robert i moved out here from michigan and there's been a handful of really delightful things that came from that and meeting you the guy i dreamed about my whole life, fully lived up to everything, I would hope. And I just feel very blessed.

I don't even know how to let that in. We'll talk about that. Some other time. When I'm playing you those weird videos. Okay, great. That's a perfect time for it. Monica, I've been dreaming about you

just since last night, but I expect to continue. I appreciate that. Rob, I'm lactose intolerant. You're going to get a call from my wife? Yep. Trev, our fourth table leg here today.

Thank you, Mr. Newhoff. Thanks, Trevor. Great job on Downey's dream car. For real. For real. Yeah. I would fuck that up. Sorry, Downey's dream car.

Oh, Downey. This guy's got a great neck. Thanks for coming in. I love you. I love you. I love you. Oh, Tommy. This guy's got a great neck. Thanks for coming in. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I hope to be 85 and 95 wrestling somewhere one day.

Bones snapping like fucking pencils. Artificial limbs. Robo limbs. Do you hear Chad got robo limbs? Yeah, Becky thinks they're hot. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. Cake by the... Pound.

Oh, pound. Yeah. Your computer's cutting off pound. I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says cake by the pound. But from here, I just see cake by the. Ocean is what you expect. That's naturally what I would expect. Yeah.

It's by the pound, and I think it means ass. What? Yeah. Cheeks or asshole? Like all of it, like big ass. Ooh, cake by the pound. I wish. You know, I wish I had a big ass.

Sure. Well, we all do. Who are you talking to? Exactly. All I do is focus on my butt cheeks when I work out. I know. Me too. If I'm doing anything with weights, it's about the butt.

Punish the butt. It's apparently a Beyonce thing. Right. Isn't it ass? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Wait, cake is the slang for it or? Cake by the pound. Yeah, is about. Is the whole thing. Yeah. Oh, my God. Wait, cake is the sign for it?

Cake by the pound. Yeah, is about. Is the whole thing. Right. Is juicy ass. Yeah. Cheeks. And also, I love cake.

Yeah, it's a double entendre. I love it by the pound. Yeah. Preferably by the pound. Even though I'm not supposed to eat it by the pound anymore. Well, we don't know that yet because you haven't had your follow-up triglyceride. In fact, I have another insane sim. Oh my gosh. There's so many glitches. Eric is right. There are so many, so much so that I got kind of panicked the other day. You did. I did. You

actually got fearful. I did. I slipped into a 10 minute and I pulled myself out, but a 10-minute while I was laying in bed feeling that this really isn't real. My life is really not real. I started to really get— Nervous. Yeah. Oh, boy. I know. But let me tell you about this, okay?

Okay. Okay. So what we're not allowed to talk about, but I'm going to because it's important for The Sim. Okay. We recorded yesterday. Oh, no. You guys hate this so much. But it's really important, okay?

Because I spent all day basically talking about my high cholesterol. Triglycerol. My triglycerides. All this stuff I spent. I told you about it. We recorded it. It was a whole thing. And remember, I was going to be sober, kind of.

Not sober, just lessen my alcohol. Right. I can't remember the goal we set for you, but was it, were we going to have it? Well, the problem is we never really set the goal because the goal was to lessen, but then it was to be normal so that we could test my normal. And I actually agree with that. Yeah. You should keep everything as it had been going.

Yes. Except it's hard to do that. It's hard to not affect your behavior knowing. So what happened is I had a dinner plan last night with Elizabeth and Andy. Nobody's Listening Right podcast, my favorite podcast. Yes. I had a dinner plan with them. Round three.

We've had three dinners. At Houston's? Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's a dinner plan with them. Round three. We've had three dinners. At Houston's? Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. Yeah. It's your regs now. Uh-huh. So we had dinner planned,

but Elizabeth also isn't drinking right now because of a health thing. Okay. So I thought, well, Elizabeth's not drinking, so I'm not going to drink. We normally do. Yes. But I'm not going to because she's not.

So great. So I know I won't be drinking tonight. At Houston's. At Houston's. Yes. But I'm not going to because she's not. So great. So I know I won't be drinking tonight. At Houston's. At Houston's. Yep. Liz and I. Who you recorded with. We recorded.

That's a fun upcoming. Yes. Easter egg. We're recording fun stuff for the future. Yes. It was really fun. So we recorded. And then after we recorded, we walked home.

I was walking home and she walked with me. And she decided to skip walking to her house and walk to the Starbucks to do work. So she was walking the whole way with me. Yeah. We were chatting. We were in our zone, which we get into. Yeah. You were synced.

Yep. We were synced. Ooh. You didn't make that much of a meal out of it. I would have done a fun Easter egg if I just said. You have to like. Okay. Don't really shine a spotlight on the Easter eggs.

So we're walking and we pass all time. And I see she looks over and she's mid talking. And I see her like starting to sort of slow down. But she's still talking and rocking. And all of a sudden she said, do you want to get a glass of wine? Oh yeah. Cause you both had been talking about that. Neither of you.

She's also not drinking. Yes. Everyone's not drinking at the bar drinking. Good enabler. Well, no. And see, she had already accused me of being an enabler earlier that day in front of you.

She said, I drink when Monica, when I'm with her or something. Yeah. And I said, well, no. Oh, did you? I said, no. of you she said i don't i drink when monica when i'm with her or something yeah and i said well no or oh yeah said no anyway i of course saw all time and of course thought fuck i really we just we should just get one glass but i kept it to myself i didn't say it i didn't want to be an enabler okay but she said it okay and then when she said it, I said yes. Yeah.

That's why we're friends with, you know, that's why you're friends with Jess. Well, I'm friends with you. You're my best friend. I know. And all three of us drag you into situations that you wouldn't normally otherwise be in. So that's what you kind of like. No. I think you drag me into situations I want to be in.

Yes. Yeah. So. Yeah. But you're not like. None of it's to be in. Yes. Yeah, so. Yeah, but you're not like. None of it's, I mean. Wow, wow, wow. I just don't want to overemphasize the badness. I'm. Not from you, me.

Okay. I'm just pointing out, you're like a German. You're attracted to the fire a little bit. Which is so not like me though i know but it's because you were you've been playing it by the rules and then these weird unicorns pop up and then it's like oh they're breaking all the rules it seems like no i'm not breaking all not you oh the dress is breaking all the rules. Not as much anymore. Really, not as much. And he has to say no to me a lot.

He does. Yeah, he says no to me a lot. Oh my gosh. Sometimes I have to use tokens. We have a token system. Okay, but originally you did love that. Anytime you'd call Jess and say, let's get drinks, he was there. I think that makes it sound like I'm using people for alcohol.

It's not true. There's a few people that I really like getting drinks with because we have tons of fun when we do it. It's not like if Jess says no, I'm now to the next person to see who will get drinks with me or then the next or the next.

It's not like I just need a, because I can also just drink wine at my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I will. But you have a stable. I have two people that I love to get drinks with. Who? Anna and Jess.

Oh, okay. Not Liz. Oh, well, Liz, yes, but she sometimes doesn't drink. Right. But then her and I will do other things like pedicures or... Freeze your eggs together. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Do a talk show together. Walks, but not hikes. Yeah. Anywho, I'm getting way off together. Walks, but not hikes. Yeah. Anywho, I'm getting way off track. Okay, so. You guys pulled in. We did.

We went in, but we said, well, one glass. We can limit it to one glass. Yeah. So we sit down. It's cute. It's so cute. A little patio out there. And the sun had just come out.

Oh, sure. Oh, my God. Letting you know that you're in the right place. Exactly. Yep. The universe is winking at you. It's been so gloomy. But it winked at you when you walked in for that wine.

That's right. Mm-hmm. And so we got one glass, and we were drinking it, and then some patrons did come in. And one girl, Jessica, woman, who I know, came in, and she said, hey, Monica. And I hadn't seen her in a while and I said hi how are you and she said I have high cholesterol and I just laughed and I said oh you're joking like I mean your mind it somehow already aired no so okay so this other girl, woman. Girly woman. This little baby girly woman.

Francesca. Francesca had already, a friend I already know, had come over and I had already told her about my cholesterol and triglycerides. Oh, wow. How well do you know her? Pretty well. Okay. Well, well enough to talk about it. So then she went and sat down and Jessica was meeting her.

Okay, so you assumed she had filled in. Exactly. So I laughed and I said, you heard about that? And she was like, what? And I said, wait, are you kidding? And she was like, no. And it was all very confusing. Turns out she had just found out she had high cholesterol. Same doctor? No. And it was very, it was all very confusing. Turns out she had just found out she had high cholesterol.

Same doctor? No. Yeah, maybe this doctor's. I know. Either the machine's broken or he's like, he's got some side deal with some. Well, I was like, Cedar, like what's going on? So that was just a crazy sim. Liz and I finish our one glass.

We do good. We stick to the one glass. Of course, I wanted more, but I didn't get more. Good job. I go, I get ready. I go to meet Elizabeth and Andy for dinner, knowing I'm not going to have any alcohol. And then, you know, we sit, the server comes up and says, do you guys want drinks other than water? And I looked at Elizabeth and I said, you're not drinking, right?

And she said, um. She said, I think I'm going to drink. And then I was like, yeah, we're going to have drinks other than water. I immediately caved. But I said, okay, but just one. Just one. Just one. And she was also saying to Andy, like okay, but just one. Just one. Just one. And she was also saying to Andy, like, I'm just going to have one.

And so we all ordered one drink. I told them, you know, I also was maybe not going to drink because I have high cholesterol. And she said, I have high cholesterol. I just found out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did she go to Cedars? Yes. Yes.

And the previous girl went to Cedars? I don't know about Jessica. We got to find out. I know because maybe there's a lab thing. That would be crazy. I know. Elizabeth Holmes. Remember they're giving out bad lab results.

Yeah. But none of them were as bad as mine. Oh, because you guys all compared numbers at that point. Yes. And you were the leader But none of them were as bad as mine. Oh, because you guys all compared numbers at that point. Yes. And you were the leader.

None of them had triglyceride issues. Only me. Okay. Well, you're just slightly higher. Mine was 600. I know,

but if the machine's all fucked up, it's not credible. Three in one day. That's pretty wild. I know. Did you all go to the doctor at the same time?

No, but around. Like, when we were comparing all go to the doctor at the same time? No, but around. Like when we were comparing days, it was all around the same time. But don't you think they, like the seventh person they're calling to say, we're worried about your triglycerides, they might go, wow, this is inordinately high. I know. 99% of the people who we've tested recently have high cholesterol. Well, do you think maybe that's why my doctor said we need to redo it?

Yeah, maybe. As opposed to panicking, maybe he thought, we've had a lot of these. Maybe she should just redo it. Yes. What are we waiting for? Let's get in there today. No, because I want to like clean out. You do?

Yeah. Let me go to another lab. Did you just fart? Nope. That was just my lazy boy making a weird noise. I actually didn't hear a noise. I just saw your body

move in a way that looked like you released a fart. Well, what's weird is I just had moved and then it made a noise on my chair that sounded like this. Oh, that's all that I just had moved and then it made a noise on my chair that sounded like this. Oh. Yeah. That's all that happened. Something was broken.

You might need a new chair. You got to get a third Lazy Boy in this small space. What if there are rows of Lazy Boys like a movie theater? Oh, my God. And the guests didn't know and we all faced forward for some reason. And we're just in the back. Or we're in the back row. In the way back.

Yes, throwing shit. Put a screen or something on the back of them and in the front. Come to our wacky world of Lazy Boys. So there might be a big glitch either in the sim or in the system. Maybe you'll be a part of a class action lawsuit against the new place that you love. This is probably why they didn't open up their shop on the east side. Because everyone's cholesterol is so bad. I would love. This is probably why they didn't open up their shop on the east side because everyone's cholesterol is so bad. I would love

to be a part of a class action lawsuit. Have that house paid for by that. The problem with class action is you're always splitting it with so many people. That's the point of the class action. I know, but this is so big that we all get eight million. Oh, wow.

That is a whopper. Yeah, I know. I've had some friends with some like medical equipment that failed in their body and he didn't get eight million. Okay, but he didn't know how to do a lawsuit good. He didn't do a class action. Yeah. That's probably, that probably makes the difference.

Yeah. Anyway, so that's the update is it's everywhere. It's out there liz has decided to call it high cholesterol summer oh it's like a cool girl yeah like a sexy thing yeah yeah did you guys all maybe eat something that like is there a popular new treat in the right or it's in the air it's airborne oh airborne cholesterol condition i don. I don't know, but I ate a baked potato, even though I was not sure I should do that. At Hustie's? Yes.

What did you get at Hustie's? A baked potato. That's it? And the kale salad. And wine. And one glass. And a goblet of wine. One glass?

A bottle of wine. Okay glass? Bottle of wine. Okay, here's the other thing. Last time, two times ago, I went to the doctor when I saw my gyno, my new gyno, also on the east side. She said, she asked me about my drinking. And I said, I drink a lot. I was very clear with her. Yeah. She said, okay, how much?

And I said, a lot. That probably scared her. Well, Yeah. She said, okay, how much? And I said, a lot. That probably scared her. Well, no, she said, okay. And I said, like, every day. And that was being really honest. I've never been that honest. I'm proud of you. And she said, how much at a time?

Right. And I said, well, normally, like, two glasses. Sometimes three, but normally two, which is correct. And she said, that's actually fine. Oh, great. She said for women. Girls. Yeah.

This is a gynecologist telling you this, not your like general practitioner? Yeah, but she had to go to general medicine before she specialized. And she said for women, it's more about the amount at a time. Like binge drinking's the- Big problem. The problem. So she said two is actually fine. Oh, great.

Yeah. So then I was like, I'm doing great. Yeah. But maybe she didn't, well, not maybe, she definitely didn't know about my 600. Clearly not. Are you on my journal? No, but I was thinking

they might put me on it. You have to be very honest. You haven't started a podcast about being on it. Oh, I'm 100% telling everyone if they make me get on it. And I'm going to tell them I don't want to get on it, but they might make me. I don't want to get on it. I'll be like 90 pounds. Yuck. I don't want to get on it, but they might make me. I don't want to get on it. I'll be like 90 pounds.

Yuck. I don't want to say yuck because that is a shamey for people. But I don't think I'm supposed to look like I have 90 pounds. No, no. But if I was on that. You could go down to 90, you think? I used to be 90. What age?

High school. High flyer days. Yeah, high flyer days. Well, at 90 is a little low. Maybe I was like 92, but I was. If you do go on Ozempic slash Magiorno slash A1C, maybe pick up high flying again. Make use of the new lightweight. I don't think my flexibility is up to par.

Or your fear level. Definitely not my fear level. Yeah. And I don't think Ozempic helps with your flexibility. I haven't heard that. It probably does. Like Aaron, every single problem in Aaron's life has been cured by Mejurno. No, that's not true.

That's true. No, it's not. Oh, here's the thing it cured. He sent me a picture of his leg the other day. And he said, dad, can you even believe this? He hasn't had hair on his legs for 10 years. No hair. It all fell out.

And he just assumed it was gone. It has all grown back. Because the circulation's way better now. And he's lighter. And he's like, dad, look, my fucking hair grew back. And then I asked him, how many IQ points have you gone up? So now we have this long-running thing about all the things that's fixed. Yeah.

Yeah. His dad came back. His dad's alive. Oh, my God. He's not an addict. He graduated magna cum laude from U of M. Yeah. It's funny because you brought up Magna the other day

to an upcoming guest Easter egg. And I kept it to myself, but since you just brought it up again, I just wanted to say I'm a summa. Oh, congratulations. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you say Magna as if it's like the top. No, I know it's the middle rung of the three. What's the third one again? Just cum laude. Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's weird you don't know that as a summa cum laude. But I know it's the middle rung of the three. What's the third one again? Just cum laude.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's weird you don't know that as a summa cum laude. But I guess it's because where you graduated. No, no, it's because I don't really. I can't even imagine what title I would have got if I went to Georgia. Yeah, we should have seen. What's a 4.4? What is that?

Platinum cum laude? 4.4. Yeah, I would have got a 4.4 if I went to Georgia. You're so arrogant. It's not even true. Even if I thought Georgia was a worse school, which I don't think that, if it were worse, I would have done worse.

Because I did, when it got harder, I did better. And when it was easier, I did worse. And I'm just going to be real about our, both of our degrees. Okay. If I'm talking to someone who studied O-Chem. Okay. Organic chemistry. That's right.

I call it O-Chem. Okay, great. I think it's only one class though. Yeah, but, well, or chemistry, but then O-Chem is in that. Yeah, okay. And then also my friend had to take it for even PT. If you're doing those things, I think the school matters. Like, as far as how hard it is and engineering and stuff.

Yeah, I see your point. But I will say half of my anthro stuff was physical anthropology which is bones skeletal system um biology it was so much biology yeah i haven't taken organic chemistry so i can't really compare how hard physical anthro is to organic i just know for social sciences my brain is very adept for that uh-huh not for O-Chem. So if I was studying something where I had to take all of those classes, 100% I would not have graduated SUMA.

Right, right, right, right. And O-Chem sounds like Ole Miss, Roll Tide. None of what you just said went together at all. I know, but it felt like it did. Yeah, we'd have to major in the same thing to know. But I do think that we didn't major in so opposite of things that we don't know. Also, I feel like you probably didn't really care. You just wanted to do well to learn.

That's true. And I wanted to do well to do well. Right, right. So that's worse. Mine's worse, obviously. Like it's much better to go and want to learn and do well. Well, I knew I was never going to use my degree in any field. Like most people were there because that was the career path they were starting with whatever

degree they thought would land them there. And I was in a weird situation where I was like, I knew what, no, I wasn't going to take acting and that's all I was going to do. Well, why weren't you going to take acting? I thought for me that that would be a bullshit degree. I didn't think I wanted my mom to spend the money. But that makes no sense if that's going to be your job. That's not bullshit.

It's exactly how to learn how to do your job. But you didn't know that was going to be your job then? No, I did. Okay. I didn't think I needed to learn how to do it at UCLA. I wanted to take those years and learn about a lot of stuff I didn't know about. Yeah, I think that's smart.

And I'd argue there's a lot less to know about acting than there is about the total history of man on planet Earth. I don't even know that I believe in acting school entirely on its own. So I've worked with people that did both, and I haven't seen some crazy pattern that's undeniable, that if you've been trained, you're this good, and if you haven't been trained, you're this good. Yeah. I think it depends. Some of our favorite actors have never taken an acting class, you know? So because of that, not, it's not like some of our favorite biologists didn't go to school or our fate, you know, or even half of our engineers didn't go to engineering school. So I just think it's, you know, it's a little relevant, that fact.

Yeah. That some of the best in the world didn't study Meisner. For sure. For sure. But I'm saying if you're interested in this field and that is what you want to do ultimately with your life. But I was interested in writing and performing. Right. And not studying. Yeah. was interested in writing and performing. Right.

And not studying. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You could have double majored like I did. Well, and I took all these film history classes as my electives at the end, and I thought, oh, I would have really loved this.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anywho. Now, this is for, it's all relevant, film. I don't even know who this is. Robert Downey Jr. Oh, my God.

Bob DJ? Yep. Oh, boy. Yep, yep, yep. Oh, boy. So fun. Question for you observing me. Yeah.

I'm such a fan. Yeah. That's very obvious, right, when I talk to him? I mean, yes. Yes, you say it is there a is there a dynamic that you observe that felt at all different or unique or anything the dynamic is different a little in that you obviously have reverence for him yes but it's a different kind than let's say, Letterman. Mm-hmm. Yeah, true. Who you also have reverence for. I'm aware of how much I cherish him.

Yeah. Which is an interesting feeling. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it definitely has a thing that maybe feels a little different, but not in a bad way, I don't think. Ashton has it over me as well. You do that with ashton like no matter how close i get to ashton he will always be this unicorn that arrived in my life and gave me the thing i wanted like that'll never go away

even though we're peers and we're equals there is always a part of me that he was the man on horseback that arrived and pulled me out of my nine years of trying and set me somewhere where I was able to now. So his position is, will always be very elevated in my mind, if that makes sense. Yeah, I think it definitely makes sense. I guess I'm proud of you that you don't feel like threatened by that, I guess. I would expect maybe you to feel like you don't like that. You don't like an imbalance like that. But so I guess I'm proud of you that you do. And I disagree. I don't think you should have, I think you should, of course, love Ashton and have a relationship with him the

friendship and equal friendship which we have right yeah you can be grateful of course that he gave you this opportunity but to like place him above you i don't think you should well this is what i mean like if either of us ever fell over the side of a cruise ship. And we were out there for 10 hours. Me and you or you and Ashton? You and I. Oh, okay. You or I. Okay.

We're treading water for 10 hours. We're getting cold. Oh my God. It's- Titanic. We're dying. Oh. And a boat shows up and that life raft that gets thrown at you,

when you see that, that is the most grateful you'll have been to something in your life almost. Yeah. Is that life raft that was thrown at you. And so he will always be that life raft that was thrown to me. It's nice. Yeah. I think that's beautiful.

I think you were talented and it was going to happen. And he was the one to give you the— Well, I don't know, Monica. Well, that's fine. We can disagree. But I believe that. I don't place that analogy. I don't think—I think it would have been somebody else's boat soon after. But it did help that the status in equity was enormous.

You know, he's also the first, like, ultra famous person that I was friends with. Yeah. And the first glimpse into the whole thing. The first time at a set because he invited me. But that's what's funny to me because I get, that's Kristen for me. Right. But I don't have that with her. She's a very real person to me. Right. But I don't have that with her. She's a very real person to me.

And because of that, I'm not ever looking at her like, you have all this status or you, I just see her as this person I love, this friend. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And the other stuff fades out once you really know someone.

For me. Yeah, so I have space for both things. It's like, you've seen me around Ashton. It's not like I'm tiptoeing around and I ask him if I can refill his drink. There's like no status inequity when we're in the, nor was there from the beginning. He treated me like, oh my God, you're so talented. I can't believe you haven't been on this shit. You're going to save my show.

It's not like he was ever run to the car and get my bag. No, no, I're so talented. I can't believe you haven't been on this shit. You're going to save my show. It's not like he was ever- He wasn't doing it. Run to the car and get my bag. No, no, I know. Yeah. But the experience was so heightened and elevated and felt like I was in a movie that this person would be focused on me

and taking me around town and taking me to basketball games and taking me to his agency and you got to represent this guy. Like that all felt like pretty woman. Yeah. Like this dude just blew into my life and he just took me with him.

And so no matter how equal we are, I can hold on to both. You know what I'm saying? Like I can still see this this miracle arriving in my life. Of course. I think that— It's like he had wings on his back or something. You know, he had a—

Well, that's— There are pieces I totally agree with and relate to. And then I think you take it to a degree that I don't. Right, sure. There's definitely— Of course, he's going to always hold that I don't. Right, sure. There's definitely, of course, he's going to always hold a very special place. And I can remember how I saw him

just because I now see him different. I still have very clear memories of how I saw him. It's kind of like I remember meeting Carrie at a party and being completely knocked on the ground. Yeah. Now I have five and a half years of memory of just dating and being completely knocked on the ground. Yeah. Now I have five and a half years of memory of just dating and being normal, but I will always remember

seeing her at that party in her green felt pants, going to school on Monday, finding out what class she was in, going into her class in the dead middle of the class and handing her a piece of paper and said, your boyfriend's number is 685, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. That part will always be exactly what it was, even though it got normal.

Can I say something that might be, I hope it's not offensive. Okay. Because I really, really don't mean it. I think this is the beautiful part of an addict. Oh. I think it's the heightened. Everything is heightened.

Yeah, I wouldn't know. I think it's a great thing. I don't want to misconstrue it as like, oh, that's just your addict behavior. I think that's why addicts are wonderful because the world is really sparkly. Oh, it's explosive. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And that's incredible. And you can catch, like, you can hold onto a comet sometimes. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, for sure. So I think it's that. Like, you're able to kind of connect into those original, the original magic.

Yeah, I wonder if that's even part of what goes on physiological with an attic, which is, like, the memory gets so cemented in my mind. Like crystal clear. Yes. That you will chase that memory. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if it does get imprinted differently in an addict's brain.

I'll have to ask Carrie if when she saw me, Brie as well, saw her at this party with nate and was like what is happening here yeah like if i'm looking back on memories like that i remember like a list exactly that happened this happened i remember and i remember i remember the feeling but it't, it's not the same. My body doesn't go through the chemicals again. It just remembers like, oh, that felt so good. Or, oh, like I was so tingly. But I'm not back there. Right. And I think you kind of go back there.

I think so. Yeah, which is cool. Yeah. Anyway. Teleport. That's what they finally figured out about addicts is they can teleport. Oh, my. I'm so jealous.

I'll bet you'd become an addict just for that. You're on your way. I'm teasing as a callback from our earlier conversation. Maybe I am. I don't know. It's a spectrum. Yeah. Right?

Yeah, I think so. Okay. Facts. Facts. So you said, quote, it's horse milk the way the Mongolians used to do it. Mm-hmm. And so that's called kumis. Horse milk?

Kumis is a fermented dairy product traditionally made from mare milk or donkey milk. The drink remains important to the peoples of the Central Asian steeps. S-T-E-P-P-E? Yeah. Yeah. Steps? Is it steps? I think so.

Okay. Of Turkic and Mongol origin. Yeah. Well, Genghis Khan was up in Mongolia on the steps of the mountainside. That all rings out. But what made them so fierce as warriors is they were traveling with all their sources of everything. So they didn't have to have a supply line. They lived off the horses they rode and their diet was almost no carbohydrates. A big part of that Genghis Khan book, which is so phenomenal, is their physical fitness versus their opponents who ate just rice.

And they were like all hopped up on donkey milk and horse meat. Wow. Yeah, they had like a crazy high-protein diet. They were thin and had good energy use. And no triglycerides. Well, they probably did have some with all that donkey milk. I just added donkey milk because you just said it. Gums. Yeah, they probably did have some with all that donkey milk. I just added donkey milk because you just said it. Oils and gums.

Yeah, oils and gums. Donkey gum. My phone rang in the middle. Oh, yeah. You couldn't really hear the ring. You just hear him say, do you need to get that? I think it just buzzed. Maybe it just buzzed. And I said it was the vice president.

It wasn't. So I have to be clear that it wasn't. Although it could buzzed. It buzzed, yeah. And I said it was the vice president. It wasn't. So I have to be clear that it wasn't. Although it could have been. But it could have been. I was sort of awaiting a call from the vice president. Yeah. Sounds like a bit, but it's not. It's not.

Okay, you said you were Robert Duvall's lawyer in the movie. Yeah. But I thought he was Robert Duvall. I thought Robert Duvall's lawyer in the movie. Yeah. But I thought he was Robert Duvall. I thought Robert Duvall, I'm confused. We were on a legal team. You were also. They first came and got me as a lawyer. Right.

As I recall, I haven't seen it in 10 years. But yeah, they came and got me. I was the town lawyer. You were. And then once Downey, who is a great lawyer from Chicago, saw what a bad job I was doing, he got involved. Okay, so you were on the same team. That makes sense.

So I sat at a table all day long in the movie for months with Downey and Duvall. That's right. And then the next table over was Billy Bob. It's a great movie. And your character's name is C.P. Kennedy. No idea. We just interviewed somebody. And this person we just interviewed knew the name of all their characters they've ever played over the last 30 years.

They've done way more movies. That's like the first time I'm hearing that name, C.P. Kennedy. I thought it was like Buddy or something. Me too. But it was C.P. Kennedy. Huh. I wonder if they gave me a different nickname on the day maybe cp kennedy yeah what is the c in the p well i tried to look but it's all fake yeah yeah

you know the guy who wrote that script wrote ozark oh cool that was his next project was ozark cool do becky bill do becky yeah bill do becky great behind the scenes story bill do becky was a headhunter in kansas or something older oh wow had been trying to write for years somehow dopkin like got sent a script by him he happened to read it he had done all these rewrites and the judge couldn't get there decided last ditch effort i'm gonna hire this guy who I got a script from from Kansas to do this on the cheap

whoa and he turned in The Judge which got all these great actors attached to it and then he I think he's he's done

a million things since yeah it's a pretty great story how long was Robert's sentence three years ooh how but how did how much did he serve he didn't serve three years? Ooh.

But how much did he serve? He didn't serve three years, but that was his sentence. Oh, God. Because he said he was over-sentenced. Yes. Which I would agree. Yeah, that wouldn't happen today. We don't tend to criminalize addiction as gnarly. Yeah, exactly.

Although it's hard to, you know, he definitely said that, But you do wonder, would he have gotten sober without that horrific? It's like, who would know? Well, he didn't say I shouldn't have been sentenced. He just said I was over-sentenced. He served a year. One year. I'll never forget when he, because, you know, I'm a super fan. I remember when he got out, he was on the cover of this magazine.

Might have been Details. Oh, I used to love Details. Yeah, me too. Because Matt and Ben were on it. Of course. Yeah. And he was, like, jacked. He looked incredible.

Because of prison. Yes. He, like, really worked out in prison. When he got out, he was buff. And I was like, oh, my God, Downey's buff. Buff Downey. Oh my God. This one.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I vaguely remember an American tank top. American flag. Got an American flag tattoo on his head. Oh, that's what it is.

Yeah. Oh, I can't see it from here. That makes sense. Does he have cake by the pound? He eats cake by the pound. I need to get it bigger. Okay.

You said that Chris Smith, who directed Senior, also directed American Home. Yeah. But it's actually called Home Movie. Home Movie. Yeah. Yeah. Oopsies. I'm glad you corrected that. Yeah. Well, that's my job. He movie. Yeah. Yeah. Oopsies. I'm glad you corrected that.

Yeah. Well, that's my job. He has an Emmy. My eye hurts again. Why? Triglycerides. Oh, my God. They're coming out your eyes?

Yeah. Remember, they were coming out yesterday and now again. Bless you. His triglycerides are flying out too. Oh, my God. He said he has an Emmy for something and he doesn't, but he was nominated for Ally McBeal. Downey? He didn't win.

Oh, he didn't win. Okay. Okay. You said look at the top 10 movies of all time and it's virtually all Marvel. Okay. So top lifetime grosses. Can I guess? You know how I like to do this.

Yeah. You love to guess. Yeah, of course. Number one. Avatar. Yep. Avatar 1. Yeah.

So that's not Marvel. Right. But that's- The top three are James Cameron, I think. Second Avatar 2, yeah, is up. No. Okay. Titanic.

Age of Ultron, whatever. Avengers. Avengers Endgame. Avengers Endgame. Is two. Okay, so it's Avatar? Avengers Endgame. Avengers Endgame. Is two. Okay, so it's Avatar, Avengers Endgame, then Avatar 2? Uh-huh. Avatar, The Way of Water.

Okay. Then another Avengers. Nope. Oh, what? Titanic. Okay. I know. So it's Cameron, Marvel, Cameron, Cameron.

Avengers? No. Oh, my God Cameron. The Avengers? No. Oh, my God. What is it? Go ahead and read me. I'm doing a bad job. Okay. So number one, Avatar.

Number two, Avengers Endgame. Number three, Avatar, The Way of Water. God, this just reminds me about Matt. Oh, yeah. And how much money he lost. Yeah. Okay. One, Avatar.

Two, Avengers Endgame. Three, Avatar, The Way of Water. Four, yeah. And how much money you lost. Yeah. Okay. One, Avatar. Two, Avengers Endgame. Three, Avatar The Way of Water. Four, Titanic. Five, Star Wars Episode VII, The Force Awakens. Six, Avengers Infinity War. Seven, Spider-Man No Way Home. Eight, Jurassic World. Nine, The Lion King.

Ten, The Avengers. So only four of the top ten are Marvel. Oh, no, well, Spider-Man's Marvel. Yes, Spider-Man's Marvel. Downey's not in it. Marvel. Man, James Cameron. Holy shit.

Oh, he's a Goliath. Oh, my God. He's very prominently featured in the Schwarzenegger documentary that just came out. That's great. Oh, really? Yeah, it's three-parter on Netflix.

It's really good. Wow, Top Gun Maverick is number 12. Damn. What's its total? 1.5 billion. Frozen 2 is next. Frozen 2 is 13. Outrageous.

Yep, it's pretty cool. Frozen 1 is 12. Now, you're not going to like this next part. Oh, Lord. Why? Because it becomes similar to our domestic and world debate that we love to have all the time. But in this case, adjusted is relevant. Like, if you go to Box Office Mojo and you do adjusted.

This is Box Office Mojo. Yeah. And you're doing a great job. But there's also an option to do adjusted. So ticket prices for Gone with the Wind were 45 cents. Right. I do think Gone with the Wind is up, if not above Avatar. Oh, really?

Yes. That's the most successful movie ever. And then you'll see Titanic will tick up, I bet you, to the number two spot if adjusted for inflation. Whenever they do that adjusted, the whole thing recalibrates. I've got adjusted if you want. What's the adjusted? Do you want 2019 ticket price or 2023 ticket price? Whatever.

Never mind. Can't do 2023. Okay. So number one is Gone with the Wind. Two, Star Wars. Oh, the 77 version. The first one. Yeah-hmm. Two, Star Wars. Ah, oh, the 77 version. The first one. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Then Sound of Music. Oh, Sound of Music. Then E.T. Ah, yeah. Titanic, Ten Commandments, Jaws, Dr. Zavago. Zavago.

The Exorcist, Snow White. Okay. Wow. Well. That inflation. Yeah, I'll i'll change that'll complicate things okay now you joked that he produces our show and he doesn't yeah right although we would sell him a stake in it for the right price how much a billion yeah yeah for one percent yeah yeah valuation of 100 billion dollars a billion. Yeah. Yeah. For 1%. Yeah. Yeah.

Valuation of $100 billion. Okay. I think that's pretty good. That's all? Yeah. Okay. Well, it was a very special episode. Yeah. For me.

And for you. Yeah. For us. Yeah. All right. I love you. Be well. Go with God. May the force be for you. Yeah, for us. Yeah. All right. I love you. Be well. Go with God.

May the force be with you. Oh, all of these things you're saying. They're from the movies that you just listed. Oh, be well? Yeah, that's from something. That's from Gone with the Wind. That's from Gone with the Wind. Yeah.

And then Have a Good Day was Sound of Music. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure. And I Love You was also from Sound of Music. Okay, bye. Yeah. Sure. And I Love You was also from Sound of Music. Okay, bye. All right.