Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Synced: Back to Basics

Episode Date: January 3, 2024

In the first episode of 2024, Monica and Liz contemplate deep conversations with strangers, share their New Year's resolutions, and discuss if they bring sex toys home for the holidays. They answer listener questions on how to deal with a friend who focuses on the cost of luxury items and getting secondhand embarrassment from a partner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

so Merry Christmas Merry Christmas I'm torn about this because Dax and I recorded a fact check and my inclination always my niece is just eating candy next to me oh my god she is just eating candy next to me. Oh my God. She is just

like you. Yeah. Okay. Bye. She's so cute. She looks so old. She does. She looks like, I mean, a full teenager. How old is she? She's 10. She's turning 11. She's turning 11 on the 2nd of February. So she's turning one, one on two, two. That's good luck. It is. I'm excited for that year for her. I think 2024 is going to be her year. Oh, I love this. Well, one of many years, because that's still young for it to be her year. It's true.

But if it's your year when you're 11, you're pretty set. Well, that's true because that's like peak. What year is that? Sixth grade? She's going into fifth grade. Oh. She's going into sixth grade. Now. She's going into sixth grade. Now you're right.

Okay, okay. So it's major. Yeah. Middle school coolness is mage. If you hit before sixth grade though, it's a waste. It's true. Like we talk about people who peak in high school being like, but if you peak before sixth grade, that's

like a whole other level. I mean, maybe because you peaked so early, you can peak again. Well, that's the hope. I mean, let's hope that we can have multiple peaks. Is that in the sixth grade? Is that when you started your ad binder? Oh my God. Okay. I feel like we have talked about it on this show before, the collection of Got Milk ads. Yes, but I'd never seen it. And so now that you text me some of these images, it just floods back core memories. Like Got Milk ads for kids in the 90s, if you're a millennial, I don't know who came, but we should, I mean, probably their name is Googleable. No, my brother was asking this. He said, who did this? And it was like the milk industry.

Oh, for sure. The milk lobby is like the most powerful. I think they should do it again because milk needs a resurgence. It needs a rebrand. And I kind of think it is having a rebrand. Everyone was against whole milk and now people are back into whole milk, including me. Okay. I've been noticing that too. I've been noticing obviously with you. Oh my God, it's 11-11. Oh my God. I know. Wait. This keeps happening to me. Me too. Me too. Okay. Me too. Wait, let's stop. We got to make our wishes in our head. Okay. Okay. Now, do you ask for one wish or do you try to compile a bunch into what you can in that minute? I have one main one and then I threw in like another one.

An extra. Yeah, but then I circled back to the first. I was like, but this one, like I know I'm asking for a lot. You have guilt around it. Well, because I know I'm breaking the rules. Right. I'm supposed to do one. I really want you to tell me what your wish is, but I also know that we're not allowed to do that.

Well, no, because it won't come true. Exactly. Did you bundle your wishes? I started to add another one, but I did feel bad, so I stopped. Because yeah, my original wish is a big wish. O-W. Only my original therapist knows about my original wish. Exactly. Wait, why do you think there's so much of that happening right now for us? Because it's been wild for me. It's been almost like, okay.

Well, also, do you think part of it, I don't want to look too deep into this because I love the magic, but it could be that because it's happened so many times, our brain is programmed to know to look. But I still think it's magic. And one of my favorite things is when all of our shows have some sort of synchronicity. And on the fact check for Monday, it was for Taraji P. Henson. And she always sees 1010. And so she talks about that. And so I looked up in the fact check some numerology stuff and what these numbers mean.

And these are all angel numbers. People are looking out for us. And I forget the specifics, but these are going to come true. I recently saw, I think it was Huberman talking about whether he believes in God. But the point he was making was just if you've studied the brain, if you've studied science to any extent, you can't help but believe that there is a high... Something else. A creator of sorts because of the perfection of the systems and just the human body itself.

Oh my God, I know. Is a miracle. Billions of cells just obsessed with you, like trying to heal you all the time, constantly without you even knowing and doing anything. And again, the power of coincidence is, I just think, yeah. So you believe in God now? Well, because of Huberman.

Well, because of Huberman, I have to. I can't believe anything he says. Well, being part of a 12-step program, you don't have a choice. Believing in something bigger than you does not necessarily mean believing in God. That's true. But even that to me was silly. I really was raised without any religion, and that was a really hard step for me. And it's a hard step for a lot of people. And because it's such an early step, I always feel like it's important to tell people,

keep going. Yeah, there are workarounds for that. Dax doesn't believe in God. Remember my Uber driver from Coachella who was my spiritual guide? My God. I had a really important conversation with him about how I would pray to God. Because when I was little, I was sick. I had a lot of stomach issues. And I would write these letters to God to like heal me and like, please, by the time it's my birthday, like so that I can eat cake and it would never come true. And so I felt very let down. And he told me like, you thought you were in charge, but your job was not to ask God what you wanted. It was to let him do what he needed to do.

And that like, okay, why are you eye rolling? That's powerful, isn't it? That was powerful for me. I'm glad it was powerful for you. Truly, I am because whatever works for people is beautiful. I want everyone to believe what they believe as long as it doesn't hurt other people slash they're forcing other people to believe what they believe. But I just, first of all, this is an Uber driver that you hired to drive you from Coachella home. He fell in love with you, and you couldn't even tell that he was falling in love with you until after you told me this story. And he almost was a predator to you. No. A little bit. He read me a poem, but that was not. That's predatorial in my head. Okay. So

just for context, it was a group of us. And I did feel like he was attached to us as a group and not to me individually, but I'm the one he read the poem to. And that's when I was like, oh, maybe, you know... Things have gone too far. I know. But he was really, I didn't give him my phone number. I actually, in the grand scheme of things, I do have his shared note where he talks about how we were family to him. Oh, remember I read it to you. Should I read it? I want to hear it again because I sort of forget. We're obviously not going to ever say this person's name. He sounds lovely. I just feel some sadness. He came from a broken home. And how we met him was that we were just not prepared for Coachella. And like, it was our first time. And so we couldn't find a car. We couldn't find anyone

to pick us up. And he just like agreed to do it. And then was like, take my phone number because this is really tricky. I'm happy to come and get you guys when you need it. And he was doing that with a bunch of groups. It's a way to make money, you know? But yes, we would have long conversations. And then he read me this poem. It's called Family. Family isn't defined only by blood. It is defined by those that love us and ride with us in a time of need and in a time of rise. And rise is all caps. Family, now all caps, is defined by our action, not by the words that we speak. Live life as it's meant to be with. Love and joy, all caps.

Treat all as if they are family, all caps. And water the seeds of your surroundings so that they grow with you, not away from you. Your face. I think it's beautiful. My best self loves this. I'm not my best self. I'm at my parents' house. It's just the way it is.

But what would you do if you had an Uber driver that read you that poem? How would you react? Okay, haven't you learned anything by now? I would never get myself in this position because what happened is somehow you told him about your stomach issues as a child that then led to you writing letters to God that led him to say this. And so, you know, he felt like this is a lost soul. I'm a, not lost, but he knew you were searching.

You were so close to believing. And he wanted to get you through the finish line. And I am just not talking to my Uber driver about my stomach issues as a child and my notes to God. It was a deeper conversation than I've had with a lot of people. And that can happen with strangers because again, they don't know you. So you can kind of share things that, you know, you're never going to see this person again. So have you ever had like a defining experience with a stranger? That's a great question. Nothing that's coming to mind. That's not just like an act of kindness or something. I've never had a deep conversation. Well, that's not true. One time I was in New York

and I do a lot of meals by myself. So I've had actually many conversations with strangers while I'm eating at the bar by myself. Because people don't always respect that you don't want to talk and you're just there to eat your food and enjoy your solitude. I do think people think if you're at the bar, you're there to talk. Especially if you're a woman. I feel that it's like, come and hit on me. I know. But the problem is in New York, they don't want you to sit at a table if you're solo. They don't want you to take up a table. They kind solo. They don't want you to take up a table. They kind of won't let you if you're alone.

They're like, go sit at the bar. Unless you make a reservation or something. So you get kind of forced into a situation in New York where you have to talk to strangers. So I've had some nice meals next to people, and it's been lovely. But I more leave and think, huh, life is so interesting. There are just so many of us walking through this world. They're at the center of their own lives, just like I am, you know, and what's it like to be somebody else? I just find it more psychologically fascinating, but I've never left with any spiritual revelations. My nightmare is to have small talk.

Oh, same. And so I think that that's why I can go deeper. That's more appealing to me. And especially, okay, if it's men, it's not that I'm treating them like a focus group, but like I'm always interested in men and their experience of masculinity. And I think that's what also happened with this guy. And for many men,

they've never had some of these conversations about when they knew they were a man and like what's their relationship with their dad. Oh my God, you're asking strangers this? I'm a journalist. I know, I know, I know. It is who you are. I don't, but I don't do it all the time. Most of the time I get an Uber and I have my headphones on.

Like I don't want to have like a deep conversation. But when it does happen, to your point, you're just like, wow, there's so many of us. All of us are so complicated. It opens your world in a really cool way. I agree. I want to say that a New Year's resolution is for me to do more of that, but it's not because I don't. I mean, you don't have to add that to your plate. Do you have resolutions that you've thought about? Yes. My main one for the year is that I have to read or write every day. Wow. I love that. And so I'm really excited. I started a book while I'm here. I have to finish this book by the time I get home, unless there's a small chance, probably not, but there's a small chance I might come home early because my mom and brother are sick and they're testing for COVID

right now. And if they have COVID, I'm going to come home. Oh, no. I'm sorry. It's okay. Everyone's so sick. I know. But we got through Christmas, you know, whatever. But they might not have it, so it's fine. Anywho, so I'm reading this book, very popular book, Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. Have you heard of it? I have not. Tell me about it. It's fiction. It just follows these two kids into adulthood who start gaming together and creating games. But it's more a story of their relationship. And it's so good. It's so beautiful. I'm about 130 pages in. And I wrote a couple of days ago and it reminded, you know, it was just

like, I need to add these things back in. I have to. So read or write every day. I love this. I think that's such a great habit. And I love that it's read or write. And reading is such an important part of writing. Sometimes you really forget. I remember taking this like workshop from this like SNL writer. And his routine was like, I read for 30 minutes every day.

And then I write. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. Yeah. You don't start the day being like, I got to pound out a certain amount of words. Actually, reading is part of the whole endeavors. I love that. You're such a voracious reader. You read a lot. I used to be. I'm not anymore, which is why I really, I miss it. And when I'm really into a book like now, the problem is, and this is like such a stupid excuse, but it is what happens. I start reading and I think, I really don't have time to be doing this.

Like I need to be editing or I need to be working or drinking wine. Like these are the options. I either need to be working or at the wine bar or both. So I'm making it a resolution almost so that I don't have that excuse anymore. It's like, no, you actually have to. This is a new thing you have to do, almost like work in some ways, because I miss it. I miss reading. I love reading. It's so special.

It's so, books are so magical. I mean, when you talk about talking to strangers, that's how I feel when I read a book. I'm learning about a new person, a stranger. I'm getting to understand their world in such specificity. I just love it. I feel like what you just said, I used to read so much. I hear that all the time and I feel that way about me too. And talking to my sister and my friends here in Montreal, my best friend Kat was like, I had to come up with a hobby that wasn't related to a screen because she was just feeling like it's just your default. You're either working on a screen or you're watching TV or watching stuff on social media to take your mind off the screen that's the work screen.

watching stuff on social media to like take your mind off the screen that's the work screen. That's my kind of resolution. I was like, I need a hobby. I need to be bad at something for the whole year. I love this. What are you tossing around? I'm tossing around playing guitar because I used to play guitar. Are you going to play guitar at us? Like can? Exactly. That's something that I can do that I have kind of a base in and that I know I enjoy, but I really stopped doing like entirely. When did you do it? I did it when I was in Sajap, which is like pre-university in Quebec. So like 18. I played kind of for myself, you know, for years, but I didn't get really great at it. I'm okay at it. I can do simple stuff, but I should be able to play more things. That's fun.

Yeah. Look at us playing guitar and reading. I mean, going back to the 80s or 90s, I know very few people who don't struggle with the amount of time that they're on a screen, particularly on the weekends. I just watch TV or I'll just be on a screen and I'm like, the weekend goes by and I don't feel good, right? So something that's still relaxing, that's still not work that I can do not on a freaking screen. Back to basics. Back to basics. Wait, that's it. I think that should be the theme. I love this a lot. I think it's also going to be a major trend overall. Young people particularly, we've talked about this, right? Like our generation's pretty lucky that we do know what it was like before the internet. We straddled the internet. Yes,

but there are kids who literally were born into all of this who kind of want out or it's a luxury to be sort of out of it. Yeah, back to basics. Your prediction is a good one. B2B. Okay, speaking of 90s, got milk ads. Oh, yes. So me and you talked about this a while ago, how I collected these and then you were asking which ones I had. And it made me feel very itchy that I needed to find these.

I was like, I know they still exist. Where are they? So I came downstairs to this basement and it's a fucking disaster down. Like my mom had just like, she just, in her defense, she didn't want to throw anything away because she probably assumed I would be so mad at her, which I would. If she threw anything away and then I was like, where's this? And she's like, I threw it away. I'd be like, you're dead to me.

So she just threw everything in these bags and half broken boxes. It's a disaster. So I was looking through, there's like a not open full pack of band-aids. It felt very hoardery. It feels like a, what's that called? Like a box from the past. Time capsule. Yeah, it feels like a time capsule. It kind of is. Although, do you want to hear something that's very, very sweet? Always. When I was in, God, it must have been middle school. We had a project and I couldn't remember exactly what the project was, but I remember we had a project and we had to talk to someone older than us in our lives or not, I don't know, and like learn about their life. And I remember I did this with my grandpa. And so now, which I guess updates for

people because I'm sure they're wondering or maybe they're not, I don't know, but he's still with us. He's hanging on. It's up and down. You know, it's all very precarious and everyone's sort of coming to peace with it. But when I came back from this last trip, when I saw him, I remembered that project and I felt very nostalgic for it and was like, oh man, I wish I could find that. What did he say? And so when I was in the basement, I was looking for these Got Milk ads, in the basement, I was looking for these Got Milk ads, Blue Binder, and it was right on top. No way. The essay. Yeah. It really took me aback. These are the moments where I'm like, well, yeah, there's definitely something else. There's no way.

Wow. And what did it say? It was really short. I feel like I remembered it being so long. And it was a review of it. So I wonder if what the assignment was, was to come into class and talk about it. And then we had to do a small little written piece. Like a reporting back. Sort of. So that piece I found is small, but it was sweet. It said something about his eyes lit up when he talked about India's independence. Wow. I was very colorful in my writing. Anyway, but it was just that I had thought about it and then it was there for me at this time that felt very special to have. I have chills. That's incredible. It's really nice.

Synced is supported by Rocket Money. I don't know about you, but I have such a problem with repeating subscriptions to things because I can't find the password or I can't get in. And then I just start a new one and I have multiple subscriptions for the same thing and I'm wasting so much money. This is the bane of my existence. It keeps me up. I swear to God, I'll be having the worst day ever. And then there'll be like 11.99 will be taken out for subscription that I don't even know what it is for. And it'll just ruin my whole day. I'm with you. I'm like, why is this13.99 gone four times? Rocket Money is a personal finance app

that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. It monitors your spending and it helps lower your bills. It's a win-win. And it has over 5 million users and has helped save its members an average of $720 a year with over 500 million in canceled subscriptions. I mean, incredible. So stop wasting money on things you don't use.

Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash sync. That's rocketmoney.com slash sync. rocketmoney.com slash sync. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. We were just talking about this. I'm home right now at my parents' house. And it is crucial that I have a therapy session when I am here.

And it's so funny because my therapist was saying, you have no idea how many extra sessions get booked over the holidays. BetterHelp is so awesome because it's entirely online and it's convenient and flexible and suited to your schedule. And you can just fill out a really easy brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. And you can switch therapists for no additional charge, which is awesome. And that's really important. I mean, our show's sponsored by therapy. Like our show is, it's like, it's the base. It's a back to basics. It is what this

show is about. So I really, really, really hope that all of our listeners have sort of taken from that and have been able to apply some of that to their real life. And if you haven't, BetterHelp is the place. Yeah. Celebrate the progress you've already made. Visit betterhelp.com slash synced today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash S-Y-N-C-E-D. Okay. And then I found some Mary-Kate and Ashley stuff, which was exciting. I posted about that on Instagram. How did that feel? It felt like the world is exactly as it should be. Like I've been a fan since day one.

OF, original fan. So anyway, I'm scouring this decrepit hoarder's basement. Can't find anything. And then I go upstairs and I had these memory boxes that are like organized and stuff, but I thought there's no way it could be in there. And of course it was in there because I knew my future self would need to have this. I'm bringing it back home to us, but I had so many good ones and they're in these clear plastic. Yeah, they're very well taken care of. You put a lot of care into it, knowing that at 36, you would really need it.

I know. I mean, that is probably something I said at the time. Like, I'm going to really want this. This is worth something. I'm sure I said that. And look, I was right. You were. Everyone doubted me. Those probably are worth something. Like, they're maybe not Beanie Baby level, but like, close. Speaking of, I found some other Beanie Babies. I found one that's called Valentino. It's a bear with a heart. Oh, a Valentine's Day bear. Yes. I wonder if that's worth anything. It also doesn't have its stupid tag. What? I know. Your mom took it off? You took it off? I'm sure. I don't know. Thank God. Why did the tag matter that much though?

It's huge. It's literally everything. Without it, it means nothing. Oh, useless. Anyway, the first ad is a Jennifer Aniston Lisa Kudrow. It's perfect. It's season three friends, our favorite season. The best one.

And I feel like I want to frame it. You should. They're amazing. I have a vague recollection of doing an oral presentation about the Got Milk ad. Wait, what? Yeah, like it's all coming back to me. And I remember one specific one that I decided to use was kind of like, I remember some controversy. I think it was probably Ella McPherson or like,

it was a very thin model and she was blonde. Was she pregnant? I think I have that one. She wasn't pregnant. It was like an overtly kind of sexual. They're all a little sexual. They all had a little bit of an overtone, but she was like in a bikini and she was very thin. And I remember doing a presentation about it and then getting mixed reviews from my teacher. Like they were like, yeah, it's a good ad, but it could increase eating disorders or something like that. Like she was kind of ahead of her time. She was pointing out the objectification of women. Yes, that's great. So I remember then feeling confused about how I felt about it. Because again, I really loved the ad and probably also had the hots for her and wanted to be her.

That's what I was going to ask. Did you like her? I mean, probably. Just to think of like a young girl being like, this is such a great ad. It's like the teacher's like, that's for boys to like gawk at. No, but it is that confusing piece of girls had pictures of models on their fridge as like, I want to be that.

That's my goal. But she didn't have short legs, so she probably wouldn't have been your... Well, she would have, and I just would have continued to hate myself because I was like, oh, I'll never be that unless I get leg extension surgery, which happened to a guest of ours' brother and he died. And it's so sad. What? Yeah. It's so upsetting actually. I know I took a turn. That's not good. No, it was really sad. I think my TikTok thinks I'm a man because I look at a lot of dad content and like masculinity stuff and it showed me an ad like, do you want to be taller? Click here kind of thing. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah. And I was shocked. taller, click here kind of thing. Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I was shocked. I was like, wow,

this is awful that they're pushing this to people. It probably thinks you're, oh, I probably shouldn't say that, Asian because Asian men are shorter. Oh, oh, oh, he thinks I'm an Asian man. So this boy was Indian and I guess he must have been short like many Indian men are. The white ideal, of course, is to be a tall man. It thinks you're a short man. Wow. Short king. Yeah. My algorithm thinks I'm a short Asian king. Okay. Lately, there's been a lot of men who are, it's not called high heels, but basically they're wearing high heels. Like Ron DeSantis famously with his cowboy boots, like is way taller in his campaign events when he's wearing those little boots.

And a lot of men will wear them. It's like a heel inside the shoe. It's like a new kind of thing. Yeah, Tom Cruise famously does this. Which I think it's like, do it. No? I think it's fine to do it if you want to do it. But it makes me sad that they're doing it because the reason behind it is, again, this patriarchal ideal that tall,

powerful men run the world, which they do. And so that's why they're trying to do it. They're trying to be something they're not. And that makes me very sad. If they just enjoy feeling tall, great. Yeah. Well, I guess women can, but yeah, it's different. Women wear high heels to be like sexy, right? Or to be pretty. And men, it's like people will take me seriously and I'll get elected. Okay. But if you went on a date with a guy, then you really like him. And then like a few dates in, he stops, he wears like different shoes and you realize that he's like shorter. How would you feel about it? Oh, I would be happy that he decided to take off the platforms. But would you feel betrayed a bit? No. I would feel like, God, this world is awful that you felt you had to do that. I mean, also these shoes don't give you like a foot. I mean, they give you a

couple inches. So it's not like it would be such a massive, like all of a sudden he's like at my shoulders. Although what would happen if that happened? Okay. You're little. I am, I'm five feet and a half inch. You've probably never been on a date with a guy that's shorter than you or like your height.

But for me, a few inches matter because guys lie about their height. Because of this though. Yes. I have so much empathy for it and I wish it didn't matter. But for tall women, a few inches can make a difference.

That's all I'm going to say. Right. But it's like men are fudging their height like women fudge their weight. Totally. And it's all so fucking sad. It's just sad. These ideals,

we are lying about ourselves at all times is so upsetting. It's just sad. These ideals, we are lying about ourselves at all times is so upsetting. It's so silly. And I don't think people realize that they're doing it. Do you think there is a height or an ideal weight or does everyone just add a little, do men just add like one or two inches and do women just like take off one or two pounds? Well, yeah, because I don't, I think people are smart enough to know you can't have a crazy lie. I can't say I'm 5'8". That's outrageous. But if I said I'm 5'2", that could potentially fly. I think it's just you add a little bit or subtract a little bit where you're still in the zone of reality. Well, did I tell you there's a study that men are more likely to lie about their height if they've been told that they were below average in a hand grip study? If they were told that they weren't as strong as the average guy, they were more likely to

lie about their height. To a scientist in a lab coat, a verifiable fact. It's not just in the street. But again, I think it's subconscious. I don't think those guys knew. But also we have to sort of take some responsibility for this because even you saying inches make a difference, like you're tall. And so it makes a difference for that's where a lot of this comes from is are they going to be attractive to women? Ugh. Yeah. I like, I really am into this era of the short king because we got to get on board, you know? Yes. And okay, my niece is in here. Can you hear it?

The shuffling? No, I was just going to say something. I'm glad you stopped. Is she still in there? Okay, she's gone. Okay, I have something to bring up. Well, we have a couple things, okay? We have three things.

We have to talk about the fart event. Yeah. I had a knife event. Yes. I thought you had another one. Okay. The one. The one. And I hate to start the year with this kind of crass conversation. Let's go. I do want to know, I'm curious, when you go home, do you bring your vibrator? Oh my God. I'm so glad you brought this up. I literally used it last night. Me too.

Oh my God. So sick. And I wondered, I was like, is this perverse? Like, is this too much? Is anyone doing this? I thought about it too. Cause I always bring it in my suitcase when I travel. And so then I automatically put it in my suitcase. And there was a moment where I was like,

I'm probably not going to feel comfortable using this, but I'll bring it just in case. Because there's nothing worse than when you don't, like you have to go like old school. You're like, oh my God, like you feel like a peasant. Although it's back to basics. So maybe this year. Okay, I'm down for that.

But yeah, last night everyone was in bed. That's the thing. I don't think I could do it with everyone in the next room. But everyone was in bed and I was like, you know, had a moment and I was like, oh, I'm just going to do it. And it was great. Like it was a great little moment and I was glad that I brought it. And I'm probably not going to do it again.

What's your thinking around it? Well, I've done it twice since I've been home. But I've been home for a while. And both times, it's so interesting. I have like new feelings, not sexually. I have new mixes of excitement and guilt, which of course, because I'm back to being a child hiding and their parents are in the room downstairs and you have to be quiet. And in some ways that's kind of exciting because you don't have to do that at all,

obviously at home, you can be as loud as you want. But here it's like bad. And then I was like, God, this is how perversions happen. This is actually how they're born. They are born out of thinking something's bad, so then it becomes exciting, which is why we have to say nothing's bad. Or keep doing it because it's fun. I think it can get out of hand. I think this is how some really dangerous perversions can happen too. Have you watched Salt Burn yet? can happen too. Have you watched Salt Burn yet? Okay. I need to talk about Salt Burn. If anyone's listening and they're planning on watching it with their family, do not watch it with anyone. You watched it with your family? When I did with this guy, I told him how disturbed I

was. And he was like, thank God you told me because I was going to watch it with my two sisters and my mom. And I was like, let's watch something else. The thing about it is that you don't know how weird it's going to get and how dark it's going to get based on like, yeah, the first 30 minutes you're like, okay, this is going to be kind of like, and it just takes a turn. The scene at the tombstone, I had to shut my eyes. I was like, I don't want that in my brain. You thought that was more disturbing than the bathtub? The bathtub was disgusting. That's when you're like, this is a creepy movie. By the way, I thought it was incredible.

I thought the movie was really good, really well done, very disturbing and creepy as fuck, but worth watching by yourself or with a friend who you don't think you'll ever have any sexual connection to ever. Watch it with a same-sex friend. I watched it with girlfriends and I was very grateful. But then you kind of can't stop thinking about it. I know.

And what's his face? Oh my God, he's so hot. Talking about Short King. Well, also Tall King and Short King in that movie. Oh my God, he's so hot. Talking about Short King. Well, also Tall King and Short King in that movie. Oh my God. They're both hot. Everyone's acting is off the charts and she's a director of Promising Young Woman.

Yes. All to say, in that movie, there's some perverse shit that is going down. It's not just like kinks, which I'm also down for, whatever. People do whatever they want, but it can transition into something unhealthy. And so I think those are some things to monitor. But the seed that

you have to water that the guy from your Uber wrote about in his poem. Full circle. These seeds start with these like baby shames and this is bad, but I like it. So I got to like find a secret way to do it. That's how all this happens. That's why all those religious right people end up with the porn scandals. Ted Cruz watching kind of incest porn. And there was recently also like a mom of some of these super right-wing groups about getting trans kids out of school and sports and whatnot. And like they had this crazy sex scandal or who's that lady who's so nuts. Lauren Bulbert was doing a handjob during Beetlejuice. Like it's on camera. She's an elected member of Congress and she's super to the right. Yes. Like giving a handjob. Wait, what do you mean during Beetlejuice? Oh, at the movies?

I think it was at the theater when it was at the theater. Oh, shit. So that's why they were like security cameras. And they're children. There's like families around you. So I think when it's so forbidden, you know. Yes. Yes, you go extreme. But yeah, so I was feeling feelings of guilt and excitement. But then I really was just like, do people do this? Do they bring their toys and vibrators home to their parents' house? Or, and then the broader question, do you travel with it? Which you're saying you do.

I normally don't. You don't? Oh, I do. I travel for work more and longer periods. And like, if I'm just going on a weekend, no. But if I'm going to be away for a few days, it just sucks when you don't have it. You're like, ah, damn it, you know? And it's so

little. And okay, this might be TMI, but to your point about it being bad and your family's there and you're just trying not to do anything, it increasing the experience. I had my first orgasm with a guy when I was having sex with someone and my parents were in the next room on vacation with my boyfriend and my sister. And like, and we were in one of those very thin walls, like little like, you know, villas or whatever. Well, not a villa, but like a cottage. And because I couldn't make any noise and I didn't expect it.

I was like, oh my God. Like I, and it was amazing. I was like, oh wow. Now I know that this can happen for me. And it was a huge moment, but it was because I had to be so silent. There was something that isolated the experience, which led to like, I was like, oh my God. And then I obviously couldn't do anything, even though I was like having my first orgasm. It was so exciting, but I had to be like completely silent.

It adds to the heightened nature of it. But then, okay, this becomes interesting because when you are in a relationship or a marriage or something, let's say a marriage with kids, you do lose all of that, right? Or you don't because the kids are there. But it's different from avoiding your parents and avoiding your children because avoiding your children is like you don't want to scar them. It's more for them. Whereas avoiding your parents is like you don't want to scar them. It's more for them. Whereas avoiding your parents is for you.

There's no worse sound in the world than hearing your parents having sex. You've heard it? Yeah. Didn't you? No. I only know one time it was happening because the door was locked. It's just never locked. I've never heard it.

Thank God. Wow. You're so lucky. Yeah, it is locked. I've never heard it. Thank God. Wow. You're so lucky. Yeah. It is scarring and you never forget it. And 30 years later, I know exactly where I was, what I was watching on TV. Oh God. It's traumatic. It's a core memory. It's a core memory that I wish I didn't have. But yeah, I'm curious. I'm sure there's so many people who are listening. If you have kids, is it more exciting that you have to hide it or does it affect it in a negative way? Well, I guess I mean more, you know, there is this fucking paradox and I know we've talked about it before. It's a known thing, but there is this paradox of safety in a relationship. All we want is safety, is a committed relationship where you know the

person's there. Yet with safety, you lose a little bit of that fire. Passion and excitement and fear, like fear and passion are sort of intertwined. Don't you think a little bit? Oh, for sure. I mean, this is the thing that I think we forget in general about everything, which is if you love someone who is super safe. Available, committed. There's a flip side to that, which is like, they are always going to be there. And that means that they're probably predictable. They're stable. But even if you love someone, I mean, this happened to me where I was very attracted to highly confident people. But there's a flip side, right? That means that

they're very focused on what they're doing and themselves. And it's very fun when you're out with them and that's what's happening. But when you're one-on-one, but you can't say, I only want this part. They're all those parts. And so I think accepting that and then making sure that you're maybe creating circumstances that are more exciting. I mean, that's kind of the advice of every couples therapist is like, okay, well, if there's not a lot of adventure,

like create it. Yeah, when your kids are playing in the playground, you go into the bushes and have sex and it was really exciting. That's what Orna would say. Yes, do that. Or like one thing I love, okay, I love role-playing, but to a high degree, like a high degree of commitment. Like you'll be sitting at the bar and then I'm going to come up to you, pretend like I don't know you. And then I'm going to hit on you. And like, we're going

to pretend like we just met and then we're going to go home. Like that kind of stuff I'm so into. You've done that? I've done like a very subtle, it was like the pandemic. So I couldn't really like go to the full extent, but we like kind of did it like in the house pretending like we had just met. Because anyway, we'd realized that we had like both been at like South by Southwest at the same time, but we hadn't seen each other. And we're like, what would it be like? Because I was like, oh my God, if I met you at South by, like I would have thought you were so handsome. So it was just like recreating that, like, how would I feel if I just met you? And you don't laugh. I

think there's no way I wouldn't be able to just die laughing. Sure. But that's okay. I mean, you can break character. Oh. It is fun, but you have to commit. Maybe you could use costumes or like dress differently. Yeah, I think I just would laugh so hard. But I think that's fun if you can get into it. Yeah, mixing things up and being playful. Yeah. We are supported by HelloFresh. We love HelloFresh.

With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh, pre-portioned ingredients, and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. You can skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. As everyone knows, I'm always hosting, like, I love having a dinner party. It's the best way to get everyone together, especially if you have friends who are parents. Like, I have a bunch of mom friends. I really love hosting dinner for them where they can like get away from their kids and their husbands and come over and I'll make different things. But sometimes I'm also working all day and I don't have time to make like this huge elaborate meal. And HelloFresh is sort of a hack

because it is an amazing meal, but it's all pre-portioned and it just cuts down on all of the time. And so you can still present like an amazing dinner. So go to hellofresh.com slash synced free. That's S-Y-N-C-E-D-F-R-E-E. And use code synced free for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at hellofresh.com slash

SYNCEDFREE with code SYNCEDFREE. America's number one meal kit. Okay, what about the fart event? We skipped right over that. Yeah, you need to tell us about the fart event? We skipped right over that. Yeah. You need to tell us about the fart event. I went to a sound bath, which I think I invited you, right? You did. Yeah. So I went to a sound bath before leaving for break. For Christmas break. Isn't it funny that we still think of it like that? Yeah, exactly.

It's like Thanksgiving break, Christmas break. Back to basics. And so I go to a sound bath and I am lying there. And you know, sound baths, some people will like fully fall asleep. You kind of hear them breathing heavily. And so it was only three of us. Like it was a very small sound bath. And so I'm lying there and the woman next to me sort of starts breathing heavily. And I'm like, oh, she's kind of asleep. And she lets one rip in her sleep. It's such a ding, ding, ding to our conversation. I couldn't believe it. In the moment, I had so much gratitude, not for my life or for my family, the things that come up in the sound bath. I had so much gratitude that you could not join me that day because that would have been catastrophic. There is zero probability mathematically that we would not have just laughed so loud.

We would have had to leave the class. Yes, we would have had to run out. Oh, my God. I mean, literally, there's no other option. And then if you had been next to me, I'd be like, did you do it? Like, it would have just been impossible. Well, the sound bath would have been over. We would have been kicked out.

But you didn't laugh. I'm so impressed. Because I was alone. And also, there was like a little like phone shaming because I brought in my, anyway, it's, I felt a little like I wasn't part of their group. Like, I felt like they all knew each other. I mean, there's only literally two women and the face instructor, but I brought in my phone because I don't want it to get stolen. Not because I want to be on my phone in the thing.

It was on airplane mode. I put it down on my little mat. And then the instructor was like, hey, if you have your phone, please make sure it's off. And I was like, oh yeah, it's on airplane mode. And then the woman next to me was like, thank you so much for saying that. And I was like, goody two shoes. Come on. It felt like I was like in school. The farter said that? No, not the farter. She is not allowed to say anything about disturbances if she's going to fart. Fart disturbance is greater than phone disturbance. Sure. I would take 10 text ding-dings over a fart.

And again, for people who are listening, I am pro-fart, as you remember. You love farts. I love farts. I think they're great. But I will never not laugh. If you fart, it's the funniest thing we're going to talk about. Yeah. We're going to talk about on a podcast. I felt a little like

the new girl at school. And so I was like, you know, already feeling out of place. And so, yeah. So if I were to start laughing and they didn't laugh, so I was like, okay, we're just going to pretend like that didn't happen. Oh my God. How loud was it? It was like, like a trumpet, like a trumpet. I would say 90, not 90. Sorry. I meant like a minute, a second and a half. What's that? 90 millisecond. It didn't feel short, but it didn't feel long. It wasn't like a funny question mark fart. That would have killed me. Did it smell? No. Thank God. Wait, what was your fart event at HomeGoods? I can't talk about that. Okay. Okay. But there was a knife event, but I don't think we have time to talk

about it. So we'll have to save knife event for next time because we got to do a couple of questions. Okay. We'll put a pin. So new year, 2024, we had a lot to catch up on and we'll save the knife event, but let me pull out a few cues. Ooh. Okay. Let's do this. This is loaded. Oh, let's go. My best friend is materialistic about luxury items. And it's starting to really bother me. Did you write this in about me? This is from anonymous. Hi, Monica and Liz. I'm just out of college and I've been friends with this person for five years. They've always been obsessed with luxury items. Don't get me wrong. I love a high quality product, but I get really annoyed when my friend just has to mention the brand of something every five seconds. Okay. That seems a little different. It feels like they want to reassure me that their family can afford

expensive things, even though we both don't fully make our own income yet. And it's not really our money being spent on expensive items. My family does make more money than theirs, and I'm not sure if it therefore comes from a place of insecurity. I am conscious of not mentioning brand names, expensive splurges all the time, but I have to bite my tongue every time they try to indicate they know, quote, more about the world of luxury goods. There are more important things. How can I keep this battle of egos in check? This is a great question. It's really good. I actually think this is not really that she likes material items.

I actually think this is not really that she likes material items. It's sort of the bragging and the need to vocalize and act like she knows a lot about it, which does feel like it comes from insecurity. Of course it does. I mean, I was actually just talking about this with someone. Like, there's a difference between people who wear Prada sweater, but you don't know it's a Prada. It's just a nice sweater.

And people buy the one that says Prada and Gucci. And there's a sort of idea that newly rich people, like nouveau riche, those people are going to be the ones that wear the more flashy designer things. And the people who come from wealth and have generational wealth, they'll wear the designer things, but they'll wear luxury in a much more sort of subtle way. They'll just be well-dressed, right? And I had a boyfriend who, it wasn't this exactly, but he would name drop a lot and mention the price of things a lot. And at one point I was like, you know, people who have a lot of money don't talk a lot about money. And people who don't have a lot of money talk about money. People who don't know a lot of people will name drop. 100%. And people who actually know really famous

people don't mention any of them. So I think it was gentle enough that he got it and he actually kind of, I think, worked on it, but it's a way of bragging and compensating. Yes. It's a way of compensating. It's a way of validating your own worth because you don't know yet that it doesn't actually bring worthiness because that takes some time. And I think that comes with, if you do have sustained money, you realize that, right? You're just like, oh, these are just things. I like these things and I want them, but there's nothing to brag about. I will say though, going back to NuvaRiche and about items that have the brand on them, I have both. I mean, the row is very

quote, quiet luxury, a stupid name, but one that is out there where you can't really tell. There's no logos or anything. It's just nice, well-made clothing. But I have a sweatshirt that says Prada on it. But you don't have a lot. I don't have a lot, but I do have some. And I'm trying to get to like, why do I like it? Why? Yeah, I'm so curious. To me, new money is more interesting than old wealth, right? Like inherited wealth. In some ways, when someone is wearing that, I'm like, good for you. You figured out a way to have that. I don't know how or what or why, but like, good for you. You wanted that thing and you were able to get it. I mean, it's one thing if you're like head to toe adorned and just, but it's like a tale as old as time, you know, like the coach

bags that would just have like coach the C's all over it. Remember when we were younger? I mean, I'm sure it's still a thing. Yes. Louis Vuitton. Yes. It can become part of your identity a little bit in a way that can be sort of fun. But I mean, look, bragging about it and talking about how much things are all the time is straight up obnoxious. So I wonder if this person can like have a conversation with her or should she just mentally give her leeway of like, she's just insecure and that's why this is happening. This is just going to be who she is for a bit. I guess it's like, how much does it bother you?

And then I think if you want to approach it, I would just do it out of care. Like, again, I'm not saying the way I approached it with my boyfriend was the ideal way, but it was from a place of like love. It was like, it makes you look, and again, not in a patronizing, like I'm trying to protect you kind of way. But to say, I think it's so great that you can afford the things that you've dreamed of wanting your whole life.

But when you mention the price of things, it makes it look like you're compensating for something. And I know you're not. Sort of being from a place of like, I know who you are and I know this isn't what you're trying to do, but this is how it's coming off, I think could be a caring way. That's true. I also think an approach could be just your reaction to it. If she says, I got these new Prada boots for $1,700, you can just say, oh, cool. Maybe like in your response is just short and not,

you just don't give it very much. Then that's where it ends for her. Like it's not giving her what she needs. It's not giving her the validation. So maybe she'll stop because it's not working. Right. Or even just being like, okay. Yeah. I mean, that feels a tiny bit passive aggressive to me. To me, it feels honest. It's how I would react to information that I'm not totally... Again, because I fell into this with my boyfriend where I'd be like, wow, cool. But then I'd be like, why am I saying cool? Like, I don't think it's cool.

I'm uncomfortable with it. But if you get to the root of like, she is, she is insecure, but she's also excited about this for some reason or another, like she is, we don't have to judge why you don't have to be excited by it. And you can find it sort of gross, but I think by just not indulging her, but still, oh, cool. And then like moving, moving on, starting a different conversation quickly is perhaps just going to like subtly tell her, oh, this isn't getting the reaction I want. Eventually she'll probably stop would be my guess. And obviously don't ever meet her there. Like don't, don't say, yeah, me too. I got this. Don't engage ever in that. Because I do have a friend who, like, very obsessed with how much things cost. But this person does not have a lot of money.

So it's top of mind. And the reason it's not top of mind for me is my privilege. It might be on me that I find it annoying, perhaps. Because, like, maybe I should be thinking about those things a little more. I don't know. Well, are you annoyed when someone shares about like a deal that they got? No, I'm not. But it can get annoying when money comes up in every single conversation. It is a little like, you don't have to talk about money all the time. Like what I have, and I think potentially what this person has, is a little bit of secondhand embarrassment. There's a sense of like, you shouldn't be talking about that, which I guess is what you

were saying to your boyfriend. It's out of care of like, they can decide to do whatever they want with that information. But I would appreciate if I sound like an idiot, like if I sound like I'm compensating, I would like my friend to tell me. And again, I would prefer it to be a friend telling me in a compassionate, empathetic way than people talking behind my back or someone, yeah, giving me a passive-aggressive response. So I think there's two options. Either you have the conversation or to your point, you just change the topic when they bring that up. And you understand where it's coming from. And the secondhand embarrassment piece is the piece that I also try to work on just for myself because this person's actions do not define me. Like they are not mine.

And even though I'm close with this person, it doesn't mean anything about me. It's like what I try to do with my parents all the time when they're embarrassing. They're not me. So there's a little bit of that, but also, yeah, I think just sort of nod and then talk about something you want to talk about. Just like, don't give it the time of day. Or you can have this conversation. There's multiple ways to do it. Yeah. Great question. Okay. This is sort of in keeping with what we just said. Well, let's read it. In a partnership, how do you accept the frustrating quirks about someone in a healthy way without building resentment? This is from Gaia. Monica and Liz, I'm a new listener, but so glad I found this podcast. Yay, welcome. It's been the best

addition to my morning routine. I've been married for about two years and it's always been a healthy relationship. One thing I've been struggling with is that I tend to get, oh man, it's literally just, I tend to get embarrassed self-conscious easily, especially in social situations and know in the past that I projected this onto my partner. For example, he's really extroverted and tends to take up all the oxygen in the room at dinner parties. This is such a small thing, but I can't stand when someone asks him a question and he doesn't remember to ask it back in kind. Or he's clumsy when he drinks and can drop spill things, which horrifies me. He recently spilled red wine all over my friend's expensive new white rug.

I know these sound nitpicky, but I have started to get nervous before social situations together because I'm so nervous about how people will perceive us or feeling worried about what will go wrong. I think I've made it worse by putting pressure on him and expressing repeatedly how important it is that my close friends like him, which I can only imagine has made him more nervous and potentially made everything worse. My therapist told me it was most likely social

anxiety that I'm experiencing, but I'm not sure if that shoe totally fits. When I'm at social things or with close friends by myself, I don't experience these feelings at all. Is it normal to love your partner, but also feel kind of embarrassed by how they reflect on you in social situations? And any advice on how to find more peace? Damn. Yes, it's totally 100% normal. It happens to every person regardless of the relationship, I think. It can happen in friendships when you bring a new friend around and it's like, oh, God, they're doing this. I just think it is personal work. They aren't you. And I will say, so my dad always has food all over his face when he eats and is like spilling.

It's everywhere. You don't even understand how he can move that quickly and that far. Yeah. How did he get there? But it happens every time. And I find it embarrassing, of course. But my mom cannot handle it. She's always, you have food on your face, you have food on your face, you're this. Okay, this is a tricky

one because obviously people need to be told that they have food on their face. But I will say, as in quote outsider, even though I'm not an outsider at all, I get way more annoyed at her when she's doing that. When she's saying, wipe your face, you have something on your face. I hate that way more than I hate the food on his face. Like, stop, just leave him alone, you know? Totally. I had a very similar situation with an ex-boyfriend where, yeah, when we were in groups, he would suck up a lot of the oxygen. It's the same one groups, he would suck up a lot of the oxygen. It's the same one. So he would just brag a lot or like answer questions in the way that I felt.

And I don't know if I handled it right. You know, once when we came back from like a dinner party, I just was like, why do you talk like that? You're talking differently. That's not you. You know, and he was like, but that is me. And we never fully kind of resolved it. Sometimes I actually think back at that and I'm like, how could I have said something differently? But looking back, I'm like, that was him. That was him. And that was me being like, no, that's not you. And him being like, no, that is me. It was you saying, I wish this wasn't you. You saying, I wish this wasn't you. Exactly.

That was that entire relationship. Like I, you know, really thought he could be someone different than he was. And that's not kind. Like that's not, it sucks to be in a relationship with someone who wants you to be different. And I'll add that the layer of like, I want my friends to like you, I know it's coming from a place of love. And if my friends don't like my boyfriend, it's such a red flag. Like it sucks to live with that. But putting that pressure on him to be liked by anyone is setting it up to fail.

And I know that when I've entered situations like that with, I had an ex, his parents were very conservative or like, they weren't even that conservative. But when we would go over, he'd be like, don't put this or wear something more conservative. And even that dress differently than I would normally dress would set me off in a bad way. I would drink more. I'm not projecting this onto Gaia's situation, but it was entering from a point of kind of shame. There's something wrong with me that I need to hide or be different so that I'm like, and so maybe it starts with that conversation, not even the wine and the-

Unfortunately, he's clumsy. That's it. Yes. And he's self-involved or again, extroverted in that way. And that's who he is. The other thing I'll say again, because I struggled with this with that boyfriend and my therapist was like,

why don't you take up space? Why, when you are in a group setting? Yeah, he's talking a lot, but why aren't you? And I think there's that aspect to which I don't know if it's happening in this situation, but if he's acting very, very big, why are you letting him take the stage? You kind of think too, if you don't like that, that part could be a conversation, but it can't be about the group or her friends. It could just be sometimes I. That part could be a conversation, but it can't be about the group or her friends. It could just be, sometimes I feel like when we're in conversation, especially in group settings, I don't have space to talk. Make it about you. Don't make it about the friends, because that will make anyone very defensive. But if you say, sometimes I feel really small

at group events and that I don't really have space to talk and I know you're really good in these group events and I sometimes feel like there's no space for me. Just make it about you because that is what this is about. 100%. And again, see how he responds because he might be, again, nervous and it's so funny how nervousness comes out. Because you would think nervousness would mean you're not talking. But yeah, the times where I've been the most nervous is when I've been like, oh my God, I didn't even ask them the question back because I was so nervous. I was so consumed with how I was coming off or what I was saying.

You might learn a lot. What you're inferring from his behavior might be totally different from what's actually going on. Yeah. from his behavior might be totally different from what's actually going on. Yeah. Again, just know it is so normal to find parts of your partners so embarrassing because you know why? People aren't perfect. Everyone has embarrassing traits. Also, whoever you're worried about, like these friends, if they're in relationships, they have the same thing. If they're going to be in a relationship, they're going to have the same thing. They themselves have embarrassing traits. It's just having a little bit of grace for everyone and also allowing yourself to feel like,

ugh, that is annoying. But it is who he is, and I love him, and this comes with that. Exactly. And maybe you buy him a sippy cup so that he doesn't spill and make a joke out of it. That is kind of funny, but it really has to be out of kindness. I understand that he doesn't spill, make a joke out of it. That is kind of funny, but it really has to be out of kindness. Like I understand that you can't not spill. And so here's a sippy cup. But like acceptance, that's why relationships are fucking hard.

It requires so much acceptance. It's not just like, I love this person and it's so fun. No, accepting a full person is hard as fuck. It's why I can't do it. Well, I can hardly do it with myself. And again, you're with someone who, you know, I was listening to his podcast the other day and he was just like, the way that we think we can change our partners is so funny. It's so delusional because there are so many things that we do that we don't like and we're not able to change. And we know we don't like it. We can't help it. And we keep doing it. So to think that your partner will stop doing a thing

that they don't like that they're doing because you're disappointed, that your disappointment is somehow going to like power change in a way that they haven't been able to do before in the way that you haven't been able to do before is so delusional, right? But we all do it. We all fall into it. But you're right. It's totally being in acceptance and knowing that, yeah, this is your partner. These are the things that are less fun and it comes with a lot of other things that are super fun.

Well, and that's maybe shifting your attention when you're feeling sort of drowned in this like, oh, he's talking so much. Maybe actively say to yourself, like, why don't I just say three things in my head that I like about him? Pull yourself out of that tidal wave. Yeah. And like, I don't know.

I also think married couples, like my parents, this happened last night at dinner. We were playing this game and it was like asking questions. And my dad is just really, how do I describe it? My dad just speaks with an amount of detail that is absurd.

And like, he is totally neurodivergent, but like doesn't know it. And so he answered this question. It was like a one sentence answer that we went around the table. And he just went into like a monologue. And at one point, my mom looks at me, she gives me a look. And I know my mom and I both have ADHD, which is like, again, how they make it work is incredible. But like my brain is allergic to detail. Like I just get overwhelmed by it and then they stop listening. And so my mom and I kind of look at each other.

And at one point we just were like, all right, wrap it up. We just made a joke. And he's able to laugh about it. You can also be playful with it. It doesn't have to be this, we have to fix this issue that's so serious between us and doesn't mean that we can stay married. My mom has been with my dad for 40 years and he's been doing this. That's why, because there is safety. There is a sense of acceptance, even though it's annoying and eye-rolly. There's a fundamental acceptance. And so that does have to be there first before you can do the like, okay, move on. That's a really good point. This is a great question. And literally everyone on

earth can relate to this. I don't think there's anyone who can't. Wow. So that was great. We've been at it for a bit. So I think it's time that we call it, but we'll be back next week. This is so exciting, 2024. It's your niece's year and it's also our year. It's our year. It's back to basics, baby. BBB. Back to basics. BBTB. All right. Well, I hope that you have a nice rest of your time at home. Thanks. You too.

I hope no one has COVID. I hope everyone is healthy and I can't wait to see your Got Milk binder. And I can't wait to see you. I miss you. This was so fun. I know.

I'm excited to see you too. And we'll be back next week. Love you, Sing Squad.