Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Synced: PJ Buffer

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

In this episode of Synced Monica is feeling summery, Liz shines light on an a growing health hazard, and they chat about men who ‘raw dog’ flights. They answer listening questions on kissing after oral sex, manscaping, and the merits of joining a bowling league to appease a partner. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's jelly time. I'm wearing the advanced version of the old school jelly shoe. That just brings back the most core, beautiful, nostalgic memories for me. Yeah. When jelly shoes were around, like what kind of problems did we really have? It's really true. What color did you have? I want to say like a light, almost like a translucent pink. I mean very similar to what you have is my memory, but I might be, I might be wrong.

Like for me, it wasn't even like a visual, it was a feeling. You mouthed feeling. It was a feeling. You mouthed feeling. It was a feeling. It wasn't a shoe. It was a stay of mind. Oh, that's beautiful. What color were yours? So I think I'm in the same boat.

In my head they're purple, but I could have totally made that up. Isn't that weird how we don't like, it is such a huge part of our childhood, yet we barely remember. Right. Maybe that's why we remember it so well. Because it's vague. Maybe that's why maybe the jelly shoes since I purchased the jelly shoes, which I was trying not to do.

I think we talked about this. I saw them when they first came out. And I was like, I don't need that. I mean, I want that. But I don't need that. That's a trend. I don't need to spend my money there. I'm not doing it. And then I saw a few people with them and I was like, okay, I really want them, but I'm not getting them. Wow. Okay. Self-control.

I had some for a second. Then a few people, I don't want to like not take accountability, but a few people sent me the link or sent me pictures of the shoe and said, do you have this? You have these, right? Oh, that's enabling. It is enabling. And I mean, an addict is only as strong as their enablers. That's what they say. That's a saying. They say that in the program.

Jelly's AA. And I was like, no, I'm not getting them. That's a saying. They say that in the program. Jelly's AA. And I was like, no, I'm not getting them. I'm not getting them. I was standing really firm. Then, unfortunately, I went into the store and I still wasn't planning on getting them. I was trying on a sweater in 90 degrees. I was trying on a sweater. You love sweaters.

I love sweaters. And the beautiful sales associate was wearing the jelly shoes. Stop. A male? It was a woman. Okay. Still, wow. Yes. I mean, at that point... They looked so good. They looked so much better in person than they did even on these pictures.

I shrieked. It was audible. And I said, oh my gosh, I've been trying not to, but I have to. Do you have those shoes? And she said, I'm sorry, they're all sold out. And I was like, you're kidding. How will I survive this? She said, I know, I know. What size are you?

There was like a glimmer of hope. And I said, well, I could be anywhere between a five and a 10. Like whatever you have, I'll take. I mean, they are like. They are like adaptable. Maybe I could make it work. And they didn't have any. And so she said, but if anything changes, like if anyone returns, we'll let you know. I was like, okay.

I didn't hear anything. Then I was back in the store and this was maybe two and a half weeks later. And I was with another sales associate who I now have a rapport with. Shout out Max. He's wonderful. And I was trying on probably another sweater. And I said, Max, you know, the jelly shoes are a regret of my life. And he said, what size are you? And I said, well, five, five and a half. And he said, hold on. And he went and he came and they had a return.

In your size. By the way, this is the second time I've heard this story and I'm on the edge of my seat. I still think it's like incredible. It's a saga. It's a journey. It's like, what's his name on the horse? Don Quixote. Don Quixote.

It's an epic tale. And here you are. I was like, the second chance at love. I'm not saying no twice. And I bought them. And ever since I have purchased them, I have been in such a summer mood. I think it's the shoes.

It works. I mean, it's like a summer haircut. It's like a... It's just a... You're ushering it in with a memento. Exactly. A token. Summer token. Wow. Do you have a summer token? Are you feeling summer yet?

I am. It's hot. I'm kind of taking a little bit... Oh my God, Liz is flashing us for the summer. That's your summer token. Yes, that's my summer token. It's flashing... Rob, did I flash you while you were showing me the mic? No, you did not. Be honest. I like fully at one point looked and I was like, oh! Because we were leaning and I'm'm just wearing a very anyway. Are you wearing a bra? No, I never wear a bra. Oh

my god. That sure is. That's a scandalous shirt with no bra. But I don't we've talked about this. There's no need for me. It's like rude to the bra. She should be filling her purpose somewhere else. There's nothing for her to do. Well, I get what you mean, except that you would probably feel less like you have to pay attention to nipples' appearances. At this point, yeah, who cares? Do we? Because also nipples are, from what I can tell, I mean, you're far more involved in the fashion world.

Yeah, you're, that's your expertise. Oh, I thought you were going to say in nipples. Oh, in nipple, obviously in my nipples, because last year, was that a year? Oh my God, that was... I saw your nipples? Oh, you drew my nipples. I drew them. I drew them correctly than I drew yours. This morning I was targeted on TikTok with a... What are those called? They cover your boobs.

Like they're just like paddles or jellies. Yeah. And I was like, I guess I should buy this because I don't wear bras. And then I was like, but why are we covering our nipples? Is that that bad? Do we have to camouflage? Comoflage? And then I just decided not to buy them. And I feel strong about that decision. But maybe that would be my summer token. Are they fun to wear? They just kind of stick to your boobs? I wouldn't say they're fun to wear, but they're comfortable to me. Would you wear an exposed, not exposed, nipple? I don't know. What do you call that? What we've

been seeing where you can clearly see people's nobles? See through shirts with no bra. You'd look insane. I think that's why I can't do it. Oh my God, you wouldn't be able to go anywhere. Well, I think if I had smaller boobs, I would definitely feel more likely to do it. I probably would get like, a dress.

I mean, there's a world in which I would do it, but it would have to be a fancy dress. Like I don't think I could just do it down the street t-shirt style. Even when I, like I bought a black see-through-ish t-shirt, I wear it with a bra. Even still, I feel like I'm drawing a lot of attention. So if I was not wearing a bra, I would get killed.

Killed? I think. Like, in a fun way? Like... Pfft. I think I'm asking for trouble. Which sounds bad. Well, I think it's the truth.

Sure. I mean, again, I think women should be able to do whatever. Everyone should be able to do whatever. And you're not asking for anyone to commit crimes on you, but let's take that off the table. Like you're not gonna get kidnapped because of how great your nipples look. How would you feel about that attention? If it was positive and from like, hot guys?

Yeah, it's weird I struggle with this. In theory, I should love it. And I do in in theory, like it. But I do get very self-conscious when people are looking at me. Whether it's good or bad, I'm uncomfortable there. Interesting. Even if you're attracted to them? I like that. I'm pleased that it's happening. But I get shy.

Aw. I'm so shy. But you're also not. I'm not. I'm pleased that it's happening, but I get shy. Oh, I'm so shy. But you're also not. I'm not. You're not. I'm not in so many elements of my life, but I am a little bit in that space still. Let's say we went to a queer party and it's all lesbian women who you're not, you know, obviously attracted to or that's not a romantic thing for you. Would you still feel the same?

That's a good question. This is going to sound maybe bad. Then you have to say it. That's the rule. I think I would still feel maybe a little uncomfortable because I know that they're attracted to women. And so if they're attracted to women, they might be attracted to breasts.

It's really just I'd probably be self-conscious around anyone who's attracted to breasts. But if I'm with gay men and straight women, I'd be fine. Yes, everyone's fine in that environment. Everyone feels so safe. Speaking of, oh my god, so I've returned back to the scene of the crime a couple times. Many, many episodes ago, the Singh Squad will maybe remember, we went to a store, me and you. Oh.

And... Oh my God. And there was an event where a guy working there, you were chatting with, and then he was flirting. And then there was also a gay sales associate. And we came to the conclusion that it was strange. We felt so much safer with the gay sales associate. And the straight man was wonderful, but it always feels like, well, someone might misunderstand this flirtiness or this niceness as flirtiness. It's like a whole thing when it's people who might be attracted to one another.

And so I return in the scene of the crime that's store a couple of times. Okay. And he's always there. Often both of them are there and I hate it. I hate it. Do they recognize you? Yeah. They remember you.

Well, but I don't think they know the show. Even though they said they were going to listen. Yeah, well, definitely, you know. Exactly. Oh my God. I know. Actually, yeah, I don't feel bad anymore. That's how we should test if which one of our friends

and like we just like talk shit about them on the show and then that's how we'll know. If it never comes up, they're lying. They're not listening. I know. But yeah, so I've run that risk. It feels odd. Because whether they know, I know.

I would let this ruin my life. Where like I would never go back to that store. It's too good of a store. If I have like a weird interact, even like there's this, it's not, this is so bad, but there's a coffee shop near us that I like and I go to this coffee shop a lot because I've been there, the guy who is Marista, we've had conversations and it's just, he's never even said... Are you wearing that shirt?

The thing is I have really long hair and that always covers my nipples. Okay. Except not right now. Right now it's not just the nipples that's risking exposure, but long story short, we just have a certain, you know, he recognized me and he'll talk to me when I'm there. And now I sort of like, do I really want to go? Just because I know I'm going to have to sort of have this conversation. And that's when I go like, I am going to hell. You're not going to hell.

You just might need to revamp your interactions. Yes, with men. Like again, I don't really- You don't think it would happen with a woman. There's just a level, and this has happened to me on a project recently too, where I'm probably extra friendly sometimes. With a woman, there's never a problem. But if it's with a straight guy, sometimes they misread that. And then you just feel stuck. Has it ever happened with a queer woman?

Yes. Twice. So I just lied. I mean, it's just a problem. I feel bad. We're really chastising gay women and straight men. And we love you. We love you guys. And they're not very similar at all. I think what we mean is like, it's our POV. It's not that there's anything wrong with that demo. It's that that demo can be... That demo makes us really uncomfortable. We really are avoiding those demos at all costs.

Yeah. That's what we're doing this summer. That's our summer project. Speaking of... Yes. Oh no. We were supposed to start our meditation journey yesterday. But we're not that far.

It's still possible. I feel like that's in the spirit of meditative philosophies to forgive ourselves. Not be so hard on ourselves. Yeah. Okay, well we got to start tonight. Okay, great. We could do one now, but that'd be boring for the listeners. Right.

It'd be weird also. Just like, okay, everyone just... Okay, ready? Yeah. But if you'd like to join us on our meditation journey, feel free to go easy on yourself because we already fucked up. But we're going to be meditating for this entire month. We will.

Once a day. Probably Tara Brock. On Spotify. Or anywhere you get your podcast. Yeah. So what else? Do you have any events? I did.

Is it bad? It was bad, but it's important. Those are the best ones. It's a little political, but it's an issue that I think has become more and more important in my life and that I feel like we're not talking a lot about. Oh no. Is this about parades? No. The hill you will die on? I will die on that. I do think parades would fix a lot of stuff right now.

And that is part of my platform. And I'm willing to throw spaghetti at the wall at this point. So let's maybe just act on some parades. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll try a few out. No, the issue is the issue of female constipation. Oh, no. Yeah. Okay, go on, because I have thoughts.

So this is my experience so far. Whenever I bring it up to a woman, this is something that is either very much happening in her life, and she's had many constipation events, or she's, she is like, oh yeah, it happens more. Essentially, from my own personal journey, I had a constipation event basically the morning after the debate to the point where I thought

I was going to pass out from the pain. Like after egg freezing? Worse. Really? Monica, I was like, take me to the hospital and open my stomach and take it out. But you knew it was that and not something else going on like an appendix situation?

Does an appendix feel like you're trying to give birth to a burrito through your butt? Is that what that feels like? I don't think. Rob is Googling. Appendicitis, there's multiple symptoms, but I heard once that a, symptom is that you can't fart.

What? Because it's so expanded and there's so much pressure, I guess. So you're like bloated? But I mean, it hurts really bad. But if I were you in that moment, I would have gone appendix immediately. How'd you know it was constipation? Because, I mean, I was trying to...

You'd poop and you couldn't poop. ...poop and I was pooping a knife. It was just so painful. And I'm saying it because it's more common with women. And the doctor won't tell me why and how. And it's like one of those things where it's like, well, it just happens to women. Really? Yes.

And then I was Googling like, what should I eat? How do I stop this? You need more fiber. Well, I'm vegetarian. Like I eat so many vegetables. Everything's plant-based. I have like lentils and I just force myself to drink so much water. And then I look up the diet,

it's bananas, rice, appasols, and toast. Yeah, the brat diet. You don't know this? No, and I was like, brat girl summer, brat diet. It's all full circle. And so I'm doing brat girl summer, but like... With on a brat diet?

I'm on a brat diet. You know about the brat diet? Yeah, it's for when you have a stomach issue. Like if you have diarrhea or you're... Basically like if you're recovering from a, yeah, stomach bug or food poisoning or something, your body can't really digest very much, so those are the foods to stick to. Wow.

So you're just gonna go on it non... But you... Okay, so did you poop ever? So, I mean... Because the debate was like a week ago, I guess ish I mean this is Friday Oh, okay constipation is a symptom of appendicitis. Liz they're confused occasionally. I'm Worried a little bit other symptoms. Well puking can be one like nausea I thought I was gonna puke from the pain, but it was just from that pain. Is there pain? Apart from when you're... No.

Okay. I mean, kind of belly aches. Upset stomach and vomiting and loss of appetite, fever, chills, loose stool, trouble passing gas, well and belly. It's like weird when it's loose stool and constipation. Yes. So IBS, I mean, I have IBS. Every woman has.

Every woman has and again, same thing. I was diagnosed with that 16 years ago. He was like, yeah, it just happens which again, that... Every woman has. Every woman has, and again, same thing. I was diagnosed with that 16 years ago. He was like, yeah, it just happens to women. We don't know why. Bye. Yeah. Lower your stress. So anyway, I just thought I would love some answers.

I've done some research and other than like, okay, so menstrual constipation is a thing. I did get my period. Yeah, me too. Oh my God. When did you start? Literally Sunday. I have like a little spotting on Sunday that I really started today, but that's pretty... I did get my period. Yeah, me too. Oh my God. When did you start? Literally Sunday.

I have like a little spotting on Sunday that I really started today, but that's pretty synced up. That's weird. Yeah, that's super synced. Wow. So that can happen too because of progesterone, I think can then slow down the system. But I just wish we talked about female constipation more. But what are your, you said you had many thoughts.

I do because I think I've been wanting to bring this up on here. I learned recently that younger people are getting colon cancer more and more. And so fiber is my new burrito. Right. So I'm trying to get like a lot of fiber. It is hard though.

I've refound raspberries, which have a lot of fiber and I is hard though. I've refound raspberries which have a lot of fiber and I like them. But then I was like, should I get on Metamucil? Are you on it? So I was Googling stuff and I was like, this is all old people food. I know. This is like... Well the Brad Dye. Brad Dye? What's that cereal? Shredded wheat? Or muesli.

Are we at... Is that... No, we're not. We're not perimenopause. We're not muesli. Are we at, is that? No, we're not. We're not perimenopause, we're not muesli, we're not Braddite. Just be on that for like a couple days. Also, one last element of this, which I think is karma. Oh no.

It might not be my age, it might just be my constipation karma. When I was little, me and my sister would put on a lot of skits. And one of our famous skits was Tina's Buck Cream. And Tina's Buck Cream, literally my dad had like shaving cream that he never used. And we made a label called Tina's Buck Cream and like stuck it on it. And for years, my dad just never took it off.

And like, it was just Tina's Buck Cream. And in Tina's Buck Cream, the infomercial starts off with me on the toilet. I'm like eight or something and I'm like, I'm so constipated. Like we're making fun of constipation. And so I just feel like... This does seem like something you earned. Yes, I deserve it. Okay, we need to do more PSAs for kids.

All these like funny jokes. They're going to come back around. They will. I do think my mom was like, this is like... Deranged. Yeah, deranged. But parents in the 90s were just not as involved. They couldn't be bothered by Tina's butt cream.

They really couldn't. Also, they're probably just glad you guys are occupying yourselves and not bothering them. And now I do, like, I'm like, I would buy Tina's butt cream if it could help. Okay. So have you pooped since vetting? No, I have. I've been... On stuff. I have post-concentration stress. I'm not kidding when I...

Not I needed to go to the ER. I was like about to text my roommate. Yeah, it was very scary. Did you take a stool softener? Yeah. And it still wasn't working? It's normal now, which is again, scaring me because I'm like, shouldn't it be...

Stress can also contribute, so I'm trying to be chill. And the period. I might go see a doctor me because I'm like, shouldn't it be, stress can also contribute to some trying to be chill. And the period. I might go see a doctor. My mom was like, you should see a doctor. Yeah, if it's consistent, maybe just keep an eye on it. I'll keep an eye on it. It doesn't happen to you a lot? No, it never happened so badly

that I can't go at least once a day. Wow, you go every day. Yeah, I go every day, often multiple times a day. So jealous. But around my period, my bowels get all messed up. And that's also an indicator of how I know it's coming. Oh, interesting. It's like, oh, things are a mess.

And often it's like constipation. This episode is so disgusting. I know, it's so random. I know. I'm sorry, but. No, but it's like constipation. This episode is so disgusting. I know, it's so random. I know, I'm sorry, but... No, but it's real. I'm just like, why doesn't anyone talk about this? Well, especially we need to be talking about it because now colon cancer is becoming more prevalent.

So people need to be getting enough fiber, but maybe it's just your period. Pay attention. Pay attention to your butt. Support for Synced comes from Element. We love it. Watch your butt. Support for Sync'd comes from Element. We love it. We love it. That's it.

There's nothing more to say, but we really do. And I was at a pool the other day at a salty friend's house who I had gifted Element to because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to gift it to a salty friend. I did that and it's hot right now in LA and I think everywhere. And so we had to take an element break because we were all sweating our buns off. I went to a barbecue this weekend

and I wanted to bring something non-alcoholic. So I brought a six pack of the element sparkling in black cherry flavor and it was such a hit. Did you win the party? I won the party. Yeah. I mean, it's just like, everyone's like, what is that?

Oh, wow. And it tastes super good and it's good for you. And you feel not only like, if you don't drink, you feel good the next day, you'll feel better the next day because you've drank Element. Try Element totally risk-free. If you don't like it,

we'll refund your order, no questions asked. We have a very low return rate and high reorder rate. Get your free Element sample pack with any purchase We'll refund your order no questions asked. We have a very low return rate and high reorder rate. Get your free element sample pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com slash sync. Also try the new element sparkling like Liz, a bold 16 ounce can of sparkling electrolyte water. That is drinklmnt.com slash sync. Support for Sync comes from Thorne. Thorne supplements have been helping me manage my health this summer.

Because your body changes, I feel like, over these different seasons. And COVID is back. People are getting pneumonia. I mean, I'm hearing everyone has something. And so I have doubled up my Thorne Zinc supplement. I take it every day and I really notice a difference. They have a magnesium that I really want to try because I want to get into magnesium before

bed. Oh yeah. Magnesium citrate will help you sleep and then magnesium oxide is good for constipation. Oh great. Which you're well versed in right now. But they have a B complex. They have so many. So whatever you are looking to enhance and to sort of replan your system with, Thorne definitely has it. Feel your best and make the most out of your summer with Thorne.

Go to thorne.com slash synced and use code synced10 for 10% off your first order. That's T-H-O-R-N-E dot F-I-T slash S-Y-N-C-E-D. Code S-Y-N-C-E-D 10 for 10% off your first order. Thorn.fit slash synced code sync10. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I have many female friends. I have a little chat called Bud Stuff with two of my other really close friends who had

rectal prolapse and like had like things happen. And then so one of the things you get is a donut cushion because a lot of sitting can also be bad. That's what we do all day. And so that chat is full of cool products. You should have added that when we did our favorite products. Now this is going to become a much more important issue. It was kind of funny, but now it's feeling real.

It's feeling serious. I always thought they were common for men because men sit on the toilet for so long. Exactly. I've never seen my dad drink water. My dad also does not drink any water. How? I mean, kettle black, but... What My dad also does not drink any water. How?

I mean, kettle black, but... What? Kettle black. Kettle black. Maybe that's American. It's a saying, calling the kettle black. The kettle call... What is it? Oh, no. The pot calling the kettle black, because they're both black. It's basically hypocrisy. It's a way to say hypocrisy. And I was saying, oh, yeah, my dad doesn't drink water.

And I don't drink water. So I shouldn't be saying that. I understand it now. I thought it was like a reference to tea. Is it an American saying? Could be British. Oh yeah, you're right. Don Quixote? Looks like it dates back to... Stop. Synced.

Are you serious? Yeah. Oh my God. The phrase is thought to originate from Don Quixote. What? Wait, stop. That's crazy. I haven't thought about Don Quixote in like 18 years

since high school English class, and today I said it and what? And also I was just gonna let it slide and go, ha ha, and not know what you're talking about. But then I was like, no, I don't get it. Like, it's important for me to know this. That's not weird. That was weird. Wow.

Have you had... I think that's the jelly shoes. Power of the jellies. Yeah, summer's in. Have you had any events? I've been watching gymnastics and thinking about you. Okay, another circle back to one of our previous episodes, the Olympics.

Yes. The Olympics was my hill I was gonna die on, but I did not pay any more attention to that. I let it go. I had more important fish to fry. But I have been seeing more clips, so I'm happy about that. Seems like the Olympics are trying to pull it together

and show us clips. Where are you watching? Are you watching, like, the trials and stuff? Well, I see everything on TikTok. I don't watch TV. This is the problem. Simone Biles' routine was just... I watched it, like, four times in a row. I was like, oh, my God.

It's astonishing. I did look it up, who made the team, and it's shocking what's happened since the Magnificent Seven. The ages of these women have gone up so astronomically in a way that I love. It used to be if you were 21 years old, you were old for a gymnast. An Olympic level gymnast. Obviously if you're a collegiate gymnast, that's like where your career ends. Like often people would go to the Olympics

and then they'd go to college and do gymnastics there, but that's the end, like 22. And Simone Biles is 27. Wow. It's incredible, also how. I know, Jesus. She's so impressive, it's so cool. But the others are also older.

There's one that's 16, but the others are in their 20s. And I'm just proud of us, I guess, as a species. I'm also so proud of women right now because of what's happening in the pop music scene. Yes. Oh my God. Chappell Rhone, Billie, obviously Taylor, Sabrina Carpenter. I mean, these are the only people

I'm listening to right now. What are the men doing? Sorry men, but what are they doing this summer? They've like taken a break. I don't get it, but I love it. Yeah. They're killing it. Are you listening to anything on Repeat?

Chaperone has been on Repeat for me a lot. Camila Cabello's new album. Yes. Which is so good. You know what men are doing? What? They're raw dogging flights. Have you heard about this? Yous? What are you talking about? What do you think it means?

I think it means they're going on flights without their underwear on. No. Oh, I'm sorry. Or they're having a lot of sex on flights, but without condoms. That's a good guess, but no. Not I mean, maybe that's the next phase. Okay. It's like Tough Mudder, but for your mind.

It's like the new Spartan race, but for men. That's my analysis of it. No, I'm giving up. Okay. It's connected to our meditation challenge. Oh, they're trying to go on flights and just fly? Yes. And not go anywhere and then fly back home? No.

Oh. But that sounds like a challenge. Just fly and go home. Like how much can they endure a flight? You're getting very close. So raw dogging flights means you're sitting down in this flight, you're wearing jeans, you're coming in with a coffee without a lid, you're not drinking water, you're not eating snacks, you're not watching in-flight entertainment, no earphones, no nothing, no book, no movies.

Okay, you're just sitting there. The only thing you're allowed to look at is the flight map. Oh, my goodness. What is the point of this? To be present? It's basically like a mental endurance. Men are posting these photos of them like just raw so embarrassing. Just raw dogged in international flight. I mean, if you really think about it, it's like an ultimate dopamine detox, but it's

like tied to this mental fortitude and men are feeling proud of it. This is so embarrassing. This is like because men don't have other ways of feeling like good about themselves right now. Am I being too hard on them? Well, so I'm adding my commentary to it. None of them are saying I'm proving that I'm a real man. So I interviewed a guy who did it because he posted about it for my subsack. And he does subway takes. He's, you know, a comedian. Subway takes.

Oh, yeah. It's like talking to my mom. It's like... What is it? It's like where he interviews people in the subway with a metro car. It's people who have takes like normalize the days, you know, or unconventional takes. Anyway, I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe not.

No. Okay. You're like, absolutely not. Anyway, so he's a comedian and he posted his photo. Like again, these men are like posting these photos and I was like, can I interview you? So I did. I was like, did you view this as like a masculinity challenge? Like, is this because going to war is not available?

Like this is- Yes, that's exactly. Yes, but is that men's fault? I don't think it is their fault, but I think they could work on trying to minimize the feeling of needing to have power, power, period. That's what a lot of this is. It's like aggression, power, domination. But over nothing, right? Like it's not hurting anybody. I kind of love it because it's again,

it's not domination over someone. I mean, remember the episode, okay, so for raw dogging purists, the origin of raw dogging flights was in a Seinfeld episode where Putty, Elaine's boyfriend, raw dogs a flight and she breaks up with him over it. Cause she's like so annoyed. You would love this scene. Cause I feel like that's how you would react. She's like, you're just gonna stare. Was she on the flight too?

She was next to him. Oh, absolutely not. Not if I, if I, I don't even like it not being there. I find it, it's fun. Look, people, I agree with you. Who's it hurting? It's fine. But it is hurting me if they're next to me.

I do know what you mean. Just close your eyes. Yeah. They're not allowed to sleep. There's no napping. They're literally just staring. Can they talk? No, probably not.

I bet talking, that's like original sin. You're not supposed to enjoy it. I guess that's what I'm pushing back on. I think this is an overall feeling I have. Men and women, when you feel like you've succeeded because you've done something not enjoyable, bragging about being miserable, that's a general thing I find very upsetting. 100% but that's actually the opposite of what they're doing. Like I think it's more

about discipline than about anything else and men being like, I have so much discipline that I can do this. And I think men love being able to sustain discomfort. There's something about being a man that you're not supposed to be comfortable, which again, I don't agree with. Well again, I find this to be annoying because women have to sustain so much discomfort in life all the time. And so to see a man adding discomfort on is annoying. I think that's a really smart point.

Was that a subway take? Oh my God. Wait. You should go on subway takes and have that take with him. That'd be so funny. But isn't that solidarity? No. If they are giving themselves discomfort? Because it's like take with him. That'd be so funny. But isn't that solidarity? No. If they are giving themselves discomfort.

Because it's like, fuck you, that's not the same. But that's not what they're saying. I know. But that's my whole point. It's like, it's never going to be the same. So just do your best out there. Like, just do your best. Stop trying to do all this weird stuff.

Just be helpful and normal. That's all I'm asking. Right. I get asking. I get that. I do feel that on a deep level. I'm starting to wonder if anyone... Is like normal a thing? I kind of think it's not. I'm starting to be very skeptical. Like normal is over. Normal ended in the year 2000.

I think the Obama years, normal was something you could expect in your everyday life. And I'm not even talking about politics. I'm really talking outside of it. Things just happened in a way that you were like... Or again, if something abnormal happened, everyone agreed it was abnormal, whereas now, I think that's the difference. Yeah, everyone's version is different. Everyone's version.

Yeah. Anyway... Everyone's version could be the name of an improv group or a band, and then it's actually virgin. Everyone's V-I-R-G-I-N. It's a play on words. Everyone's virgin. Whoa. Your mind works in extraordinary ways. It's crazy. Ever since I started playing Connections,

I see the world in connections. It's actually a problem. I kind of love that, though. It makes you smarter. Well... I want to get into it. Oh, my God, you should get into it. It's actually a problem. I kind of love that though. It makes you smarter. Well. I want to get into it. Oh my God, you should get into it. It's so fun. I'm going to try. Try today.

I haven't done today's yet. But she's been rough the past couple of days. I kind of feel like she doesn't like summer and she's taking it out on us. Do you consider that work? Like if you have a day off, are you doing connections? Oh yeah. I get personal joy out of it.

Okay. And personal anger. I get it all. It's life. The most beautiful things in life do that to you. Okay. Let's move on. Let's do some questions. Yeah. Oh wow. Oh, this is great. Love.

Okay. Do you wash your face after sex? It's a love curve ball. It's from Anonymous. Ladies, I was too... Ew. Oh, God. Yeah, I read them later on.

Yeah. Okay. Wow. We're going to do this. Ladies, I was too embarrassed to ask my esthetician, so I'm asking you. I have a solid, somewhat lengthy skincare routine. I will never skip it. It's definitely a priority for me.

I love all my serums and all my steps. But something is throwing me off. Every night I do my routine, tuck the kids into bed, and then I'm in bed very shortly afterwards. If my husband and I are going to do anything sexy, it's at this time. My kids are asleep, we're winding down, then we often love each other up. Afterwards, I never, and I repeat, never wash my face. I go right to sleep.

In the morning, I have another somewhat lengthy skincare routine that I do upon waking. I have to say, if we're getting sexy at night and my husband goes down on me, I don't want him kissing my face after. Pussy juice isn't one of my skincare steps. What do you do after you have sex? Do you re-wash, re-tone, re-retinol, re-moisturize?

Thank you. See, I've never been in this position because I have never had a long-term relationship where I'm like sleeping next to a person every night. So I can't answer this, unfortunately. But I would not like it. How would you work it out for yourself? I think I would just try to rearrange the schedule and do all the face stuff after.

But then sometimes it doesn't. That's hard. Like it's so great to go to bed right now. I don't know if you would actually go through with it. Sex? No, no, no. It's just a skincare routine. I think it just wouldn't happen. I know, but what she's gonna say to him,

don't kiss me? I guess she could. So I know what she's talking about. You sleep with it? What if it's good for your skin? We should Google that. No, don't. Not on the work computer. But...

Okay, so just on the kiss after going down on you, I feel like that's a whole... That's a whole conversation. Yes, that's a whole... That's a whole conversation. Yes, that's a whole off-ramp we could go down. Let's go down that ramp real quick. I will do it, but the first three seconds are like, no, and then it's too late. And then once it's happening, you forget about it.

But I don't... I don't love it either. I don't think anyone loves it. I mean, guys, I mean guys do. No, obviously. But why don't... I don't love it either. I don't think anyone loves it. I mean, guys... No, obviously. Guys love it. But why do they like it? Well, they aren't the ones... Well, they like...

No, but they like the opposite, I think. Oh. After we go down on them, they... I think that's right. No? I don't know. We're getting a no. Really?

No. You're also like, that was my... Wait, but hold on, hold on. After... This is so not... I hope no kids are like, oh, I'm not going to do this. I hope no kids are like, oh, I'm not going to do this. I hope no kids are like, oh, I'm not going to do this. I hope no kids are like, oh, I'm not going to do this. I hope no kids are like, oh, I'm not going to do this. I hope no kids are like, oh, I'm no. Really? No. You're also like, that was my... Wait, but hold on, hold on.

I'm choosing my... After... This is so not... I hope no kids are listening. Yeah. I mean... But not after you've come, but before you've come, you don't like it if she's just... I guess if I have not, then it's fine.

Then you like... Then it's fine. Then it's fine. I don't think I necessarily like it. Okay. But I'll tolerate it. It's fine. Do you taste a difference? No, I don't taste a difference.

So that's the difference. But I don't like after. Right, because then you probably taste a difference. I don't know that I taste it, but the whole idea. That you're kind of getting it back in your mouth. Women don't like it either. And also women can often taste a difference. And then yes, it then goes away.

But you know immediately. I think we should institute a polite wipe. On your way up, you just wipe. Like a little water drink? Even just a little, just on the blanket. I just feel like, but if it's in their mouth. I know, but it's a whole other level if you're feeling the liquid. Oh.

Like your juice. I know what you mean too, but yuck. It's different. Okay, can we institute a different thing instead, which is that like maybe other parts of the body get kissed before they make their way to the mouth. So that by the time they kiss your mouth, it's not in their mouth anymore. Yeah, I think that's also a really effective way of doing it. Because then you're also not getting it on the sheets.

Rob, will you start doing that and be patient zero? Sure. I am sure, by the way, because everyone has such different likes and dislikes. But I feel most women I know would prefer some timing distance between... A buffer. Yes. Procedures buffer. A lot of people might not.

Well, this is why communication, like we should be able to communicate about this and it not hurt anyone's feelings. Like she should be able to say, because I already washed my face, I don't want my face touched after I, right? Everyone should do whatever they want. Could be a mood killer. Yeah. But what if it's established as just like not why, again, I think...

Because he's like, I put it all over my face and you can't, I don't know, there's like a weird- I think before is okay, but I can see how that could be a nude. During is not great, but I think if it's just, let's have a general conversation about what we like and what we don't like. Every sex person we have on says this, that like that is the key to good sex is communication not necessarily whilst in the middle. Sometimes, I guess. Being explicit about your preferences.

But also saying, don't kiss me for the rest of the time we're having sex seems weird. I think you could say, once I've washed my face, don't make it about, don't kiss me. Because obviously, that sounds mean. It's just like, after I wash my face, I don't want anything to touch my face. Can that be a conversation? If it can't be a conversation, then she has to wait and then wash my face, I don't want anything to touch my face. Can that be a conversation?

If it can't be a conversation, then she has to wait and then wash her face after. Or re-wash. If you're gonna feel gross. Right. I think you have to gauge it. I've had a conversation with Natalie and we're like, I don't love when she brushes her teeth right before. Because I don't want toothpaste to be associated with.

In your mouth? I just don't like that association with intimacy. That's so interesting, Rob. I feel like I prefer. I don't want a smelly breath, but I also don't want like a minty fresh breath. Because that reminds me of my mom. Your mom had such fresh breath. Lucky.

Wait, would you rather have stinky breath over minty breath? No, they're both like the same side of the spectrum. I'd rather just like fully neutral. Interesting. We are supported by Our Place. Did you know that most cookware and appliances are made with Forever Chemicals? It's like the bane of my existence. Just one more thing.

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash sync. That's rocketmoney.com slash sync. Rocketmoney.com slash sync. [♪ music playing. Funky music playing. Funky music playing. Funky music playing. Funky music playing.] Okay. Now, how do you feel if a guy's gone down on you and then they go wash their face? How would you feel?

I would feel great. I think sex is so hard. There's so much ego. So vulnerable. Look, I really think it depends on the person. Again, I'm like trying to think of like in one of my long term relationships, and maybe they did like, and I didn't even notice. I think if you're like sleeping with them for the first time and like, you're still

figuring out what it is and that happens, maybe I could easily read into it. But if I'm feeling secure with them, then I wouldn't. And I'd be like, oh, you're cleaning your face for me. We interpret everything based on our own perception, always, and we like forget that that's what we're doing. And so we think it's just the truth. But yeah, I think it would depend of how, of like, yeah, my relationship with the person.

Would you? I'm with you. It would depend. So have you ever had to rewash your face when you were living with a person? Or you didn't think much about it? Yeah, I'm not like... You're not also that addicted to your skincare routine. Yeah, it is important to me,

but intimacy maybe would supersede. Being intimate can make you late or make you like change things from the order that you planned. And I think that's kind of part of it for me, but also this skincare might be much more meaningful. And so I think it's worth talking about in a way that's, again, like, this is not about you.

And again, you've said this a few times, like, just being like, this is such a weird thing that I have to do. You own it and you just say, like... Like, I'm weird. Yeah, I'm weird. Like, and even, like Rob said, could be hard to receive. Like, I don't want us to kiss.

Yeah, I wouldn't say those words. Right. I would just say, like, what could we do? Or like, do you have any ideas? I want us to kiss. Yeah, I wouldn't say those words. Right. I would just say like, what could we do? Or like, do you have any ideas? I wanna have sex with you and I love when we love each other up, but how do we do it where I don't, you know? Just keep a wet wipe next to the bed and he can clean his face real quick.

Yeah, maybe this is a logistical fix. Right. They should just talk about it. Or if you don't want to, you have to wash your face twice. But these skincare routines are intense, they're long, and you have to let things sit, and it's a whole thing. I wonder if she's noticing that her skin is being affected by it. Because if it's not, maybe you could join us on our meditation journey and let it go.

Like, oh. Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm tempted to say, even though I don't want to invalidate anything she's saying. Like, I just know that, especially for women, like, I feel like I could have had, like, such better sex in the past if I'd been able to let go more, just in general, of like so many things. Of the way that I thought we were supposed to be connecting, or the way I thought my body was supposed to look.

Or again, it's sort of a stereotype, but that during sex, like men are literally, there's like nothing going on in their head except that. And for women, so much. Yeah, so much. And I feel like that's been such a loss for me, you know, in terms of my own pleasure. And it's not really about him. It's about you too, being able to like fully be present during this moment of connection that you say you want with your husband.

And so maybe it is more about like, okay, maybe I need to do a little bit of letting go around whatever this, I mean, it's giving you a sense of control so that you're able to just indulge when you want. That was juicy. Juicy. I love these questions. There's so many of them that like, yeah, things I think about, but I don't, never got to talk about. Okay. This is from George. Manscaping, shaved, trimmed, or all natural. Hi, Monica and Liz.

I've been a huge fan of Sync since the beginning. I like hearing your perspectives mostly because you both have different ideals in each other and you both listen and discuss everything with an open mind. So refreshing. I'm a moderately attractive, confident man, 38, but have been genuinely hairy my whole life. I've plucked my eyebrows since I was 14, had to shave my face every day since I was 16, and have had a full chest of hair since college. I've mostly accepted my werewolf fate,

and I've only been jokingly self-conscious about my permanent sweater. Having said that, as I age, I've noticed new hair in places that are objectively unattractive, shoulders, back, butt, etc. My question is, how much effort should I put into controlling it and where? Should I shave it all off? Constantly fighting the never-ending battle.

Note, it's hard as fuck to shave trim your own back. Should I trim it occasionally or should I accept who I am and just own it, knowing that I might be seen as unattractive but freeing myself of the constant care? Your answers may differ based on where the hair is growing, and I appreciate all your thoughtful responses. Aw. This is cute. We love that, George. I want you to do what is best for you.

This would be my answer for women and men. If you're walking around feeling self-conscious, I would do something about that, even though it's annoying to give in to that, and it might feel vain or silly. But if it's taking energy from you and, like, brain utiles, take care of it. And I would say, honestly, if there's, like, an area, like, your back, if you're like, well, fuck, this is so hard to do,

and I definitely don't like it, get it lasered. Yeah, I was gonna say. I've had laser on parts of my face that are not conventional because looking in the mirror, I just hated it. I've had my sideburns lasered. I had so much hair in front of my ear. I hated it so much and I felt so self-conscious about it.

So I had that lasered and I had the back of my hairline lasered. Because it was also like every time I had it up in a ponytail, it didn't look clean, I didn't like it, I didn't feel attractive. And as much as I told myself like, it's fine, it's just me, it's just me. Honestly, just getting rid of it. It's not that I look in the mirror and I'm like,

I look so much better and I love how this looks now. But it's just something I'm not thinking about anymore. And it's worth it. And they have machines now, because it can be something I'm not thinking about anymore. And it's worth it. And they have machines now, because it can be expensive, but there's alternatives to doing it too that are not very expensive. And I feel the same way where it's like,

and I think doing parts makes so much sense. And I've been with guys who shave, the whole thing. I've been with guys who are super hairy, guys who probably do a mix of in between. Like you just love the person. I've never been like, I'm not attracted to this person because of one of my first boyfriends, like, shaved everything.

My last long-term relationship, he was like extremely hairy. And he would like make jokes about it. And at first I was like, oh, am I going to be like, is it because it's so different? And I'd never even thought about it. Yeah, I just loved his body and him. And so I think whoever you're going to be with, it's not, you know, but do it's for you

It is for you like anything. It'll just change your not self-esteem But like how you feel about yourself how you feel about yourself in you know, intimate settings like why not do it? So if you had to pick parts, yeah, what would you pick for him? But and shoulders? But shoulders back. Yeah, shoulders, back. Yeah. I mean, back only because that's hard. The way you described it, objectively unattractive, which by the way, I don't think there's such a thing. There's nothing that's objectively attractive

or unattractive, but for you, you put in parentheses shoulders, back, butt. So that means to you, there's just like no question other than that's unattractive. So I think those are the things to address. And you could just try it and see how you feel too, even before doing laser like. Yeah, or like go whack, that would hurt.

I mean, they do it. Yeah, honestly, I don't think shaving is the best course, especially those areas. First, it seems impossible. Second, it just goes back so quickly, and then you have to really maintain it, and that's a whole thing. So I kind of think it's like a waxing or laser situation.

Try it. Give it a try, George. Thanks for writing it. And thanks for listening. So nice. I think we have time for one more quickie. Can you help me love bowling? This is from Rose. Hi, Monica Liz in the SYNC Squad. My husband and I could use your input on an unsettled topic.

For years, he has formed his best friendships in recreational sports, hobby leagues, bowling, kickball, et cetera. I, on the other hand, have zero interest in participating, but love that it makes him happy. I have a fulfilling job, best friends through work, and as a teacher, I don't have the energy to commit to and pay for weekly recurring activity.

My sweet husband wants me to join a team with him more than anything in the world. I got the bowling balls and the shoes and I met some great people. The problem is I really don't like it. Should I do it just to bring him joy? Am I missing something here with the joys of rec league? Do you have a suggestion of another way for us

to have adult friendships that I could get into? I love my husband more than anything and this social engagement clearly means a lot to him for me to love too. Can you help me love bowling? This is a good one. Really good. No, if you don't like it, you don't like it. You've tried. It's not that you're just in your head like, oh, I don't like that. You really put in the effort and you tried and you don't like it, that's okay. Now here's the thing, do you not like bowling itself? Because if you don't, you could still go

for the social element, but then I guess if he wants a partner, then it's time to talk throubles. Or just isn't it good to have your own activities anyways for him to have his thing? I feel that it's good for everyone to have their own personal things going on. But also if he has a bunch going on and he's like, I really want you to come to this one thing like people's partners are there and it's fun and it's bowling.

I think the middle ground would be, I hate bowling, but I'll come hang while you bowl and chat with everyone, or if there's like a hang after, like I'll come to that. But I don't enjoy this sport at all. Doing things you hate for other people is not ever gonna work out. One million percent. A friend of mine just told me recently, her boyfriend turned 50.

She was like, hey, so excited for your birthday, but just letting you know, I'm not going to be planning a big thing for you. I'm happy to, like, go out and, like, do something fun. He, famously, in their relationship, has, like, never really planned anything for her birthday. And she's like, he's not a big planner, he's not a big...

And when her book came out, we sort of planned something for her, and he was there, but he's not taking charge of plans, and it's something that they've talked about in their relationship, and something she's accepted. But she had a conversation with him and he was there, but he's not taking charge of plans. And it's something that they've talked about in the relationship and something she's accepted. But she had a conversation with him, which was like, Hey, just letting you know, like, I'm not going to be doing this because I'm going to feel resentful. That's so smart to get out of it. And she just is like, I could do it, but I know that it might actually hamper our relationship.

And so the best thing is for me to do that. And he told her he was like, Oh yeah, I don't love hearing this, but thank you for telling me. And like, that's great. And in the end, his friends organized something. Obviously my friend was there, but I just was like, wow. What you just said about resentment,

I don't think that we think about how toxic it is for our relationships. It's insidious. And there's a way to prevent it. And that's by listening to yourself, which you've laid out in this letter, like how you feel, and then acting accordingly. Cause it's gonna pop up in other ways.

Then you're gonna want him to do surfing and he doesn't like it. And then he'll be like, oh no, I don't like it. And you'll be like, wait, you have to do this for me because I've been doing this bowling thing and I fucking hate it for two years. And then that's when like that will really start to fester. So don't go bowling.

Don't go bowling. If you like the hang part, go do the hang part and if you don't, don't. 100%. And then really lean on like, I really like that we have our own things and then we have our things that are ours and we have our own groups

or like why don't they plan a dinner with everyone? Yes, a bowling potluck. Do an event after that you can come to, but no. Or again, if you do want to find a rec thing, which I think is great, like I think it's super fun, decide together. Right. It can't be you joining in on his bowling. Unless you like it. Right. Right. Exactly. You don't. I hate bowling. I don't hate it. I just like, I don't need...

Yeah, I don't need to. I would feel the same way. Where like, I can go once a year for a birthday party and like, that's fun. I'm not doing every week. Yeah, same. I'm very neutral on it. Yeah. Okay, well, that was great. I think that's it for today.

We'll be back next week. And I think we're like hitting... Oh. We're about... Let me look. Wait, did we pass it? I don't think so. No, we didn't. Yeah, I think we're like hitting, we're about, let me look. Wait, did we pass it? I don't think so. No, we didn't. Yeah, I think it was August. It was after 4th of July.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was August. I feel like it was the first week of August or something. Let's see if we can find it easy. I bet we can. What are you trying to figure out? When was the first episode? 726.

Oh, okay. So very end of July. Okay. So our anniversary is July 26, which is two episodes from now. Okay. So we're coming up on our anniversary. Ooh, we should do something special for our anniversary. Major.

Oh my God. Okay. Let special for our anniversary. Major. Oh my God. Okay, let's think about it. Yeah. Maybe... Send in your ideas. Send in your ideas for what you want us to do for our one-year anniversary. Oh yeah. Well, what is one year again?

Like gold or something? Or presents? Yeah. It's like a thing. Is it? It might be American. Okay. But I'm surprised Rob doesn't know, but it's an anniversary thing.

One year is diamonds. Year two is wood, three is... And then like people do their variation. I can't believe you guys don't know this. I've never heard this. Anniversary gifts by year. Yeah. Paper? Paper?

One is paper. According to today.com. First anniversary, paper. Second anniversary, cotton. So the present has to be made of cotton. Yeah, or like you would give a shirt. People take their variations on it. Third year leather, fourth anniversary fruit or flowers,

fifth anniversary wood, sixth anniversary candy or iron, seventh year... Iron. Seventh anniversary wool. Like the vitamin. Oh, that'd be a funny take on it. Wool or copper is seventh. Wow, I've never heard this in my life.

Eighth is bronze. Yeah. Oh, wow. Ninth, pottery. Tenth, tin or aluminum. Eleventh, steel. I mean, it keeps going. Whoa.

But we have paper ahead of us, so maybe people should give us ideas for what to do involving paper. Paper. Okay, paper. Cool. All right. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.