Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Taraji P. Henson

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

Taraji P. Henson (The Color Purple, Empire, Hustle & Flow) is an actor, producer, and director. Taraji joins the Armchair Expert to discuss what it was like playing a character with a lot of trauma, why she feels it’s important to travel, and how she felt about her mom dating. Taraji and Dax talk about how rejection can help someone find success, what having a child in college is like, and why lifting up others is important. Taraji explains why she doesn’t like the term black movie, how her foundation is working to improve mental health, and how she wants to play a superhero on screen one day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard, I'm joined by a New Year's Eve mouse with a little party hat on. Eating some cheese. Eating some celebratory cheese. Happy New Year's to everybody. Happy New Year's, armchairs. This year, 2024, will mark our sixth year on air.

On planet Earth. A little longer on Earth. No record of it, though. That's the problem. You're right. You're right. Six years. We have a wonderful guest today, Taraji P. Henson.

Oh, what a firecracker. We love Taraji so much. She is an Academy Award-nominated actor. We loved her in Hidden Figures, Empire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Not many people could be the mom of Brad Pitt, but she did it. A VP. Hustle and Flow, What Men Want. And she is out in the movie right now that everyone is loving that spectacular The Color Purple, the musical version.

Yes. I said this in the fact check, but it should be said now for people who don't listen. And if you don't listen, boo humbug to you. But I think this is a great episode to start the year because she's very positive and optimistic. And I love her attitude. Me too. Me too. She is the perfect spirit for 2024. Yes. Wait, do you know one thing? You know how I changed the color of my background to the Pantone color of the year. Do you know this? Yeah. Yes. You are very religious. Did you just give me a thumbs up on the screen? Listen, hold on. This happened to me the other day. I was FaceTiming someone and a thumbs up appeared. I don't know. Do you think it's because it's reading?

Do you think someone's hacked your- Oh my. If I do a thumbs up, it can see that and then it does an emoji? Let me see if when I do it, it does. No, no. Oh my God. Okay, you're on a special. What are you on?

You're just on a laptop, right? I'm on my phone. Oh, well, that makes more sense. It does? Earlier when we fact-checked, you were on your computer. I was, yeah. And I was like, that old-ass thing is reading your hand and putting emojis on screen? That seems improbable. I'm still shocked that my phone can do it. Me too, but 2024, welcome. Oh, AI city. AI city. This means that I have changed my phone to a very beautiful peach. Oh, oh yes. Yes. But did you not have a story about when you changed it three weeks ago? Not, not a verbal story, an Instagram story. Oh yeah. I posted that it was announced. The

color was announced, but now it's happened. Oh, okay. It wasn't a screenshot of your screensaver? No. Okay. Are you willing to share that with everyone? A screenshot of my screensaver? Of course. Yeah, yeah.

This is so boring. It's out now. It's out on my stories right now, everyone. Go look. Enjoy. Go check it out. All right. Please enjoy Taraji.

Call me on Instagram. Taraji P. Henson. Trip Planner by Expedia. You were made to have strong opinions about sand. We were made to help you and your friends find a place on a beach with a pool and a marina and a waterfall and a soaking tub. Expedia. Made to travel. Expedia. This is unexpected. It is. She's always cold. I'm always chilly. I'm always cold and I'm always hot, but I just cold plunge like, you know, if you feel me. Oh, sure.

Do I need these or what? Yeah, you're cold. It's up to you. You don't have to. I can explain in boring detail why we prefer it. If you do it, I'll do it. Okay. We do it.

That's the spirit. I've ended up a lot of places with that sentence being stated versus you do it, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'm up on the other side of the world. Yeah, you know what I like? It makes it even more intimate. Yeah, it blocks out everything. And also, I'll end up talking to you.

I already talk loud, too loud. It's all good. When my wife and I first started dating at one point, she said, turn around for a second. Where is the volume knob on you? You're like, I need to turn it down to seven or something. So how deep into this tour are you? A few weeks. We started just before Thanksgiving.

Everything is a blur now. We started here. We did New York. We've been to London. And when you say we, are you going with the other cast members? Yeah, it's usually our director, Blitz Bazulule, Danielle Brooks, Fantasia, myself, you know, the three cork women.

Coleman Domingo, you know, he's having an incredible year. I can do 10 on him. Earmark that. I want to do 10 on him. Yeah, so, you know, he comes and goes when he can because he's very busy. Sure, sure. Does he bring the thunder when he rolls in?

Oh, I love him. Oh, good. He he bring the thunder when he rolls in? Oh, I love him. Oh, good. He's just so nurturing. And he's just so careful with you. Oh. Just in life, you know? Doesn't have to do anything with work or being on set. This is just who this man is.

And it's so infectious. I just love him. I love this entire... You know, Blitz texted me on the way here. Blitz sent me a picture of us yesterday when we received our Critics' Choice, and Getty took a picture. And look at the laughter and the joy. Hold on, you already won an award? Yeah. How? The movie's not out yet, is it?

I know. Wait, how does that work? The critics get to see things sooner. They saw it a year ago. Look at the joy. Oh, look at this beautiful ensemble. Look at the joy. That's lovely that's lovely and he said i just love us that's literally the energy that was on the set every day it's incredible have you seen it yet i saw it last time yeah yeah yeah that energy and the chemistry it's real well i'm gonna add a word rhythm too

it can be literal because it is a musical but there's also a cohesion in the spirit. Ooh, you hit on something that gave me chills because I was just having this conversation with my makeup artist on the way here because we saw 1010 on the, we're very spiritual Vir you speak. And if you see 1010 all the time, then you're in alignment. It broke down. 101, 10, 1010. It broke it down so many ways. But anyway, one of the things she was saying was the synergy and the spirit and how Blitz handpicked

all of us. The studio didn't want us. Come on. We were not their top picks. None of us. Not even Danielle Brooks, who's been on Broadway. Well, actually, Fantasia was. Scott, our producer, did call on her, and she was like, no. She didn't want to do it. Because when you take on these characters that have been so traumatized,

and if it's kind of parallel to yours, it opens up your wounds that maybe you felt like you've healed, and it's hard to carry that person's cross and yours yeah well there's a few things there yeah do you want to spend time in that zone other additional issue you're on very hollowed ground you're taking on a character that will be won an oscar for i believe right the film got like 13 nominations i don't think anyone won i don't okay but i can't remember don't quote me let's look it up an intimidating role to even though now the genre is different and this is a musical version of the color purple i'm nervous to step into something

that was done perfectly if i'm someone else or maybe not well i'll tell you like this when i got the call my manager called me during the pandemic and he was like you're being tapped to play shug abram and i was like what the're being tapped to play Shug Avery. And I was like, what the fuck? Why are we? What? Why are we doing? That's a classic. Don't touch it.

Yeah, 1985. We did it. But then Blitz broke down how he saw it. And one thing that stood out for me and that literally sealed the deal for me wanting to do it was it was a black man telling the story this time. So we were owning our narrative. it was a black man telling the story this time. So we were owning our narrative.

And the fact that he saw something in me. Trust the universe. Because I remember, go with me here, Stephanie Elaine produced Hustle and Flow. That sang the hook

to the rap song. Yeah, you did. Saw it out here for a pimp. Right. Sang it at the Oscars. Trying to get a dollar out of 15 cents. Just sang it at the Oscars. Just sang it at the Oscars. And the song song. Yeah, you did. Saw it out here for a pimp. Right. Sang it at the Oscars. Trying to get a dollar out of 15 cents. Just sang it at the Oscars.

Just sang it at the Oscars. And the song won. No sweat. Right. So, Stephanie Elaine is married to Stephen Bray. Stephen Bray did the music on Broadway and the music in this film. Stephen Bray tapped me years ago to do it on Broadway, and I turned it down. Because?

Because I trained in musical theater. I know what it takes for your voice to stand eight shows a week singing at that capacity. It's all you can do. You can't chat at dinner. You can't talk to anyone else. I wasn't ready for that. Yeah, yeah. That's fair.

I knew my voice wouldn't survive it. So what year was this? Oh, God. I can't even remember. 20 years ago. Oh, that long ago. Like that long ago. Okay.

It's not that you were working also so feverishly in other things. I just knew. It was just the commitment. You knew. I was like, I will shred my vocal cords. And singing is not my first passion. I'm not as confident in it as I am in my acting. My acting is natural to me.

These anointed voices, like Fantasia, can probably wake up and just go. Let it rip. Baby, I have to go warm up the pipes. I got to get the dust off. With my tea and honey. You know? There are things I have to go warm up the pipes i gotta get the dust off my tea and honey you know there's things i have to do and i think a lot of it too is in my head and this that i don't work at it enough so the natural thing is to second guess yourself of course but what i was saying about blitz and how he handpicked us all he fought for us and when you hear all of our stories it is spiritual because all of

us have a 360 story about how we got into this danielle and fantasia on broadway danielle and cory hawkins went to juilliard together cory was the first person cast cory called scott because he was in was the other musical that Scott produced? The Heights. The Heights. So he got naturally cast first because he worked with Scott on that. Sure. He called Scott and said, I'm grateful to do this part, but you got to do me a favor. You got to hire Danielle.

How he picked me and saw me and my story, how he turned it down. And that's the thing. When something is meant for you, it is yours. No one can take it from you. I ran from Suge. 20 years later, she was like, ah, ah. No, no, no. We have unfinished business. You know? And it was in the genre where I could really give it my all and not risk my voice. Do you also think maybe some life needed to happen to you before? Absolutely. Yeah. Like there's also some serendipity to the timing and what you can

bring from your life experience, I'd imagine. Because that character shows up, a tornado just arrives. Oh, listen, everything happens for a reason. All the roles, the women that I've played, I couldn't have written this better. Scripted your own life better. Oh my God, no, I think too small. So, you know, that's why I say you just got to trust the universe. Know that you're putting out good, you're going to get good back. That's just how it works. It's called karma. And so how he handpicked all of us.

He had me ugly face cry at a Q&A when we were in New York because he was like, this was my ideal cast. And every time I gave, I would show up to the studio. These names were never on the list. I would pitch them, each and every last one of them, as these characters, never on the list. And I just broke out because I've been doing this for over, you know. Yeah. And it's like, bitch, I'm still not on the list.

Right? Yeah, what's it take to get on the list already? What the fuck? What do I have to do, people? I have played a character like Celie before, Suge in Hustle & Flow. I've made Cookie iconic. You got the Emmy nods.

You got a Golden Globe victory. And not only that, it's bigger than me. The pros that I've played have inspired. These babies, hidden figures, the influx of young girls coding. Are y'all fucking paying attention out there? Yeah, it's crazy. What do you tell yourself it is?

I guess it's all a part of the struggle, but I'm going to change the narrative because I do believe what you profess is what you will possess. So if I keep saying things are hard, things are going to be hard. We already know that. We know the inequities that are happening in life. We know it. So why do we have to keep harping on it? Hollywood, you're going to pay me my worth.

Yeah, yeah. It's time. I've done it all. Way past time. Come on. Tons of hits. Tons of everything. And you was also saying I needed more life to happen.

Not only that, I'm a leading lady. So to take on something of this magnitude. You're so fine in real life. I just want to add. That came out of the blue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. No, yeah, yeah.

10 out of 10. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm single, but you know, such a guy. Well, you said leading lady. It felt appropriate. Oh, thank you. I am a leading lady.

But to take on something so historic and something that means so much to the community, I knew exactly how to support her. Okay, so listen though, I want to pitch one other thing. So another valuable tool for us is framing. And you have to think about the version of your life you're telling.

Now to me, the story where it was a given they'd want you and then you thought about three other things they also wanted you for and then you decide, eh, this one works best for my schedule, and that's the story that lands you here. My personal story? Keep me as an underdog. I like it. What story do you want to tell? I actually have come to like, yeah, yeah, I'm the underdog, and I still built this.

You know why? That's better. It helps. It inspires. Listen, I could go on and on off that subject. Yeah, yeah. Let's, let's, let's, let's. Gotta formulate my thoughts. While you're thinking, can I add a couple? Please. A couple that are in that realm. I try occasionally to step back and go like, okay, well just tell yourself the opposite story and see if you prefer that. And I give

credit. My mother told me this one time. I was talking to her on the phone. I was kind of complaining that someone else had asked me for money. And I hate that every time I pick up a phone, I think it's going to be blah, blah. And my mom said, look, it's as simple as this. In life, you get to be the person they call for something or you get to be the person calling for something. So what one do you want? Exactly. And I'm like, yeah, I'd way prefer to be called. So get over it.

I got the role I want. So again, foregone conclusion, I'm about to do something versus no one thought of me. I come in, I fucking crush it. Fuck you. I way prefer that. How many times? Because I get the initial sense of like, I got overlooked and now I'm here.

Now you're here. You should be there. Stay here. Yeah. So here's the deal. You should get paid. But I'm just saying, you're talking about people on top of the mountain.

And all I'm suggesting is top of the mountain is not actually a place you want to be. As a counter perspective. Or if you're at on top of the mountain, and all I'm suggesting is top of the mountain is not actually a place you want to be. As a counter perspective— Or if you're at the top of the mountain, you got to have a story that inspires people to want to be at the top of the mountain. And if you're at the top of the mountain, don't forget where the heck you came from. Yeah, yeah. And still reach back down on a mountain, pull people up. So being on the top of the mountain is a good thing because you inspire people.

But the point is, is that no one wants to hear how perfect your life is. Even on top of the mountain, it ain't perfect. As a matter of fact, once you get on top of the mountain, God damn it, it gets harder. Well, yes. Look at some of our heroes right now. Like the Camelots of our,

no one's safe. Soon as you're there, there's only one more story left to tell about you, the fall down the mountain. So I don't really want to get there because I know what story's next and I don't really want that. You live a good life. My karma is good. So I'm here to serve. That is what humans are supposed to be. We need each other to make the world go round. God is brilliant. He put us here. He made us all look different because we need to

figure this shit out. And it ain't hard. Have compassion. Go out and travel and meet people and learn different people and listen to each other. Don't be afraid of the truth. We're all broadcasters now. We don't receive messages. We just send them out. We're in the publishing business as opposed to the conversing business. Absolutely. Can we go back to D.C.? Let's. Let's go to D.C. Mumbo sauce. My mom took us. My mom was brave. She had three kids, single mom, and she would cart us around the country in a Chevette to see the world. And we went to D.C. in probably 81. So I know the vibe of D.C. in the 80s. It's not the place I visit now. It's very different. It's very, very different, as is New York is very, very different.

All these cities are beautiful now. But I remember, yeah, we were staying. We got some greasy pizza. We were at like kind of an hourly-ish hotel. There's some gunshots on the parking lot. Like that was the family vacation you see. But what an incredible education. Totally, totally.

The best education in my opinion. I'm so grateful for it. Because by the way, everything just continued to feel safer and safer the older I got. But anyways, different place. And I want to know, I feel like it's a unique situation you grew up in. Mom is a manager of a huge retail store. Yeah, so my mother, born in the South, country girl, Scotland Neck, North Carolina. It's like 20 minutes outside of Rocky Mount, an hour and a half from Raleigh.

Little, little itty bitty town. My grandfather was a sharecropper. So, you know, that's basically free labor almost. Yeah. For people that don't, they give you a sliver of the land you can work for your own needs, but then you're working all the land. It's a version of slavery without ownership. Absolutely. And you're raising nine children, one not yours.

She had eight children biologically, and then she raised one of her nieces. And my mother, they knew about working hard because all the kids had to work. And when they all worked, they only came up with $300 a month. But you're also talking about when milk was a dollar. Right, right, right, right. So they had a system. There were three or four that stayed south, maybe moved to Raleigh. One sister stayed around the corner from my grandmother. And then the rest migrated north. system. There were three or four that stayed South, maybe moved to Raleigh, one sister state

around the corner from my grandmother, and then the rest migrated North. But my auntie, Janie, who passed away, I love you, Janie, rest in peace. I hope you're proud. She moved out first and went North. And so everybody would come and sleep on her sofa until they found a job. And that's how my mom made it to the big city. And she moved to the DC area? DC area, yeah. So all the other siblings that ended up North, how they got there is they stayed on Aunt Janie's sofa, and then they got a job and got their own place. So that's how my mom ended up there. She met my dad, got married.

He went to Nam, came back. Wasn't his best self, because how do you go to war and return normal? And how old was he when he went? I was young. My mom, she had me at 21. So dad was? He was two years older than my mom, maybe 19, 20. Did he come back with any addiction?

Alcohol. Yeah. Yeah, how could he not, like you said? Absolutely. My mom was like, well, he never saw any action. I said, Ma, it's still war. You're hearing bombs. You're seeing a friend go and not come back.

You know what's going on. It's not Disneyland. The adrenaline is at 100. They're living there. Just being there. Yeah. Just trying to cope. And you know they were experimenting on him because he came back aging orange.

And literally his flesh would melt off his feet. But I don't know what he did, how he cured himself. I would come in the house and be like, what the hell? Or he'd be sitting there in the tub of, I don't know, bleach and whatever else. And it went away. Sounds like he and my dad were the same. My dad used to get poison ivy every couple days, and his move was Clorox bleach. He just scrubbed the fucking poison ivy.

I know. It's that Trump thing. Because I swore to you, Santa. I feel like that generation come by and honestly, like, bleach is a cure-all. Yeah, exactly. You got a toothache? Yeah, fucking brush your teeth with some bleach. Let's go.

You broke your what? Soaking some bleach. But he got rid of that Agent Orange. But they got a divorce when I was two. Then my mom became a single mother. But when she got to D.C., the job she found was working at a department store, sort of like Macy's. Actually, Macy's bought this company. It was called Woodward and Lothrop. And she worked in the basement putting price tags on merchandise,

which probably those jobs don't exist anymore because we have robots and machines now. But that's how she started at 18, I believe, and worked her way up the corporate ladder. Not dating anybody because my mother still is a 10 plus. Oh, boy. I mean, drop dead. I'm not opposed to seeing some photos of her. Oh, she's, listen. Wow.

She kept it single? You didn't have a bunch of stepdads? No. My stepdad actually just passed away about a month ago. I'm sorry. How long were they together? My mom was like 50-something when they got married. She found real true love late.

Was she waiting for all the kids to get out? No. No. What kept her from being available for that? It's the same reason. I just, you know. Yeah, I want to talk about that. Oh, I got a whole take on you. It's choices that you make. And my mom, I have it. We are loving naturally. And we get it from my grandmother, who's still alive, who's about to make 100 in April. And I'm taking her to the theater to see Color Purple Christmas Day. The whole family were taking her. And I'm going to sit right next to her and I'm going to watch her every facial expression.

Oh, that's so special. She'll be watching the movie. You're watching her. Yes. And she's so full of life. I remember my cousin said to her, Grandma, today you realize you're 99 and a half. She said, 99 and a half won't do, baby. Oh, I love that. I have a feeling she's going to live beyond 100 because she's created her own blue zone.

I'm sure you've seen that. Yeah. Because it's not a place. It's what you create. She goes to bed every night expecting to wake up the next day. She makes plans. She travels. She's never alone.

She has her own house, but somebody's always with her. She's just so full of life. And when we have parties, she's the first one up on the dance floor. Oh my goodness. She got a boyfriend that doesn't care black. What's grandma's nickname? She has a boyfriend? With a gold chain. Yes, she does. Oh, if you're on the phone and he pulls up, she's like, baby, I gotta go. I gotta go. He's younger than her. I would hope For her sake Yes exactly right She don't need an older man No she doesn't

Not that she's like her You know Sure sure sure Okay No he's much younger Miracles do happen Oh man That's so admirable

I love that Okay so Back to mom There was no stepdads growing up No stepdads growing up That's a blessing Well She had boyfriends

She had boyfriends And how were they? I didn't like Anydad's growing up that's a blessing well she had boyfriends and how were they I didn't like any of them I think that's the time when I probably got closer to my dad because I was becoming a teenager and when you're growing up as a young girl and it's two women in the household you realize that your mom needs something you can't give her so it's kind of like I'm trying to do my thing. She's trying to do her thing. And I love my mom. But you go through these weird transitions in your parents. From the beginning, a boy might cling to his mom.

But in his teenagers, he's over here with pops. You know what I mean? So that kind of thing happened with me. There's a thing with teenage girls and their moms. It's a stressful period. Kind of like defining yourself in opposition to her. I've got two daughters and a wife. And so when the three of them hit that, where they're all synced up in their menstrual

cycle, I'm going to be out for five days a month. I'm going to have an apartment. I'm going to get an apartment downtown with a ping pong table, pool table. I'll just be down there and I'll be like, whenever everyone's done killing themselves, I'll let me know when the dust has settled. You're making a joke, but you're on to something. No, I think no one will be saving themselves very shortly. How old are your daughters? Eight and ten. Going to be nine and ten next week.

It's coming soon. You can get just little hints of it. Yeah, coming. So dad, though, did dad remarry? Both of them. My stepmom is still alive. And when I go home to D.C., I still go to my dad's house that she owns. And I actually redid the house for her through houses. House, remember that show? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did home to D.C., I still go to my dad's house that she owns. And I actually redid the house for her through Houses.

House, remember that show? Oh, yeah. I did that for her because I was like, Mama Angie, it's time for you to have your house. It was still so much of my dad. And I get it. But my dad passed in 06. And when I did it for her, she said, because you give so much. She's always opening the house and feeding and making sure everybody's okay.

I said, I want to do something for you. And I want to give you a little feminine spin on the house. It's always opening the house and feeding and making sure everybody's okay. I said, I want to do something for you and I want to give you a little feminine spin on the house. It's time. You deserve it. And so I redid the house and she's just... Redid her kitchen. She's such an incredible cook and I just made it hers and she deserves that.

That's lovely. What kind of girl were you in school? I was a good girl, but I was a cool girl. I was popular, but not popular like... Not a mean girl. Not a mean girl. No, no, no. No, thank you. I was the girl that would sync everybody together. I was like the connecting force.

You were in lots of different groups. I just got along with everybody. If you didn't like me, something was wrong with you because I was artsy. I was fun. I was the life of the party. I'm a class clown. And that's because I wasn't being challenged creatively. I had auditioned for Duke Ellington School of the Fine Arts in DC. Didn't get accepted. Corey Hawkins went there. It broke my heart because my best friend got accepted. Oh. But it didn't destroy our relationship at all. But that's hard. It was hard. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it was a part of my journey.

But when you're a kid, you've created a story where if you don't go there, you're not going to the other places you want to go in life. I totally tricked myself to believe that. Yes. That rejection at that age, you don't know what to do with that. And so I followed another friend,

because now I'm just in regular public school, and she was really smart, Candace Dickens, and she went to North Carolina A&T. I knew I wanted to go to college. That was the plan. It was the North Carolina of it. Exciting because that's where your mom's from. I knew I had family.

I knew I wasn't going to go hungry. Sure. You could find a meal on Sunday. Well, yeah, because we had a church on the corner. It's the South. Church on the corner on Sundays. You can get a fish dinner for $5. Sure, sure.

And it'll last you three days. You know what I mean? Literally. But really quick, you were going there for electrical engineering. Following behind Candace, who was smart. And actually, that's what she does to this day. But I, on the other hand, am not wired mathematically. My soul wasn't there.

And I knew I didn't belong there. But I had to experience that. And that was the one thing I loved how my father parented me. Because he never told me how to do things. He would show me the scenarios. And be was the one thing I loved how my father parented me because he never told me how to do things. He would show me the scenarios and be like, it's your choice. And whatever choice you make, you got to live with it. Good luck. So he didn't try to talk me out of going to North Carolina A&T because he could have, but he was like, you needed to fall flat on your face. And how long were you there? I did the whole year. In that year, I'm imagining it starting to set in that this isn't actually your path. And now are you getting more and more

scared? What is my path? Well, two things happened. My English class was in the drama building, the building where all the arts, all the freaks were, all my people. It was like a longing. And my heart would do this every time I would walk into that building because I knew that's where I belonged. I did not belong over there. I knew I had two tutors and failed pre-calc. My brain wasn't getting it. But, hey, I'm at the HBCU. I'm experiencing the black college experience.

It's amazing. But knowing this is not really my passion. But I did it. And I gave it my best because that's who I am. I don't care what I'm doing, where I'm working. I'm going to leave good things with you. You're going to be like, I really liked working with her. So I auditioned because I had to walk past their bulletin board where they put their auditions and everything that's happening in the fine arts. So I walked by and I saw audition and my heart did this. And I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to

audition. So I went to the library. I don't even remember what monologue I got. It's all a blur. But I remember standing on the stage and I was shaking because all I remember was being told no. Yes. Let me tell you about fear. If you give into it, fear had me in a chokehold. I couldn't do the thing that came so natural to me. My fifth grade teacher, Miss Lane, saw it in me and put me in a play. She got tired of spanking my hand. You know, back then you can get your ass whooped in school and your mother gave them permission. She used to spank my hand and she channeled my energy and put me in a play. That thing that I did so natural and she saw in

me and put me in that play and I soared and it was amazing. I couldn't do because I believed the lies that I was telling myself. To this day, I don't know if I got a call amazing. I couldn't do because I believed the lies that I was telling myself. To this day, I don't know if I got a call back. I never went to see. You never checked? Because you were certain you had shit to bet on. I was like, I was horrible. I was shaking. After that, things started feeling weird in my body. I failed pre-calc and I had to call my dad. I'm like, Dad, I'm so sorry. Because he had his truck snatched and everything. Trying to get me in. And I just cried.

And he was like, you know what? I'm glad you failed. I was like, what? Dad, did I call the right number? He was like, you needed to go through that. So you can understand. You need to get your ass back up here. Roll in Howard University where your grandmother went.

And you get up here and do the thing that you're supposed to be doing. Cut to, I get to Howard. Of course, this thing is living in my body now, this fear. I'm still waiting for no. Yes, yes, yes. This time I was more prepared. I'm in front of Dr. Henry and Mrs. Rest in Peace, my acting teacher, acting 101, baby. I'm in front of her and I'm doing my monologue and I could feel myself shaking, but I leaned into it and I just did it. When I finished, she said, come here, sit down. I was like, she's going to tell me no. And she said, you got something. What, you talking to me? She was like, you got something and be careful who you hang out with. Cause a lot of these kids that are coming in here and getting told, yes, they not going where you going and they not going to survive this program. And I was like, whew. Yeah. Funny thing is now I'm in all the plays. All the Duke Ellington students are there. You remember when we were at Duke, I was like,

no, they didn't accept me. Now everybody's forgetting that I didn't get accepted. But because I became a part of the family, you know, it's funny, this fear thing. Had I listened to that, we wouldn't be here. Yeah, and these little moments in time can arrest you. Oh, what a word. But what I didn't realize is that I was building that tough skin. This is back to the original story we're telling about you. This is a much better story. You go and you audition, you get straight into the academy,

and then it takes you to where you're you know who gives a shit i was developing a tough skin because all the no's i was about to be told coming out here i had to go through that and i had to work my way back to my passion on my own no one could do it for me you're so right it's coming whether you got into lincoln or not those people might have not gotten it there but as soon as they got here they did or they got to new york they did it's inevitable're not going to sidestep it. Let's get it out of the way. We just had John Batiste on and he was saying, let's go get rejected today. That's the goal. Let's go get our rejection, get it out of the way and then keep

moving. It's inevitable. So you got it early. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Sasha hated sand, the way it stuck to things for weeks. So when Maddie shared a surf trip on Expedia Trip Planner, he hesitated. Then he added a hotel with a cliffside pool to the plan. And they both spent the week in the water. You were made to follow your whims we were made to help find a place on the beach with a pool and a waterfall and a soaking tub and of course a great shower Expedia made to travel Every job that I was like, they're going to reject me, are the biggest ones that I got. Benjamin Button.

I was having a garage sale. I didn't want to go and meet Fincher. I was like, why the fuck are y'all calling me on a Saturday? Don't you people rest? God, I literally was not going. My agent called and said, girl, if you don't close that garage and go meet Fincher. going. My agent called and said, girl, if you don't close that garage and go meet her. I didn't even know that Lorraine Mayfield, who's a dear friend of mine to this day, had already handpicked me. She saw me in Hustle & Flow. And when I walked into the audition, she got emotional. And I was

like, what the? This lady didn't take her medicine. I go in and she's so touched. And she was like, you are rare. And I'm like, what do you mean? She was like, I sat in the theater watching your work in Hustle & Flow. Every time you left that screen, I missed you. I completely agree with her. I so remember that was my introduction to you. I loved the movie. And then you, yeah, it's a revelation. So that's what got me cast in Benjamin Button.

The most natural role of your life, to play Brad Pitt's mother. Oh, my God. I was like, God, are you serious? I said I wanted to work with Brad Pitt, but not play his mother. Yeah, I want to be his lover. Lover, not a mother. The first time he saw me out of the saggy boobs and the big suit, he was like, Mama! time he saw me out of the saggy boobs and the big feet, he was like, mama.

Oh my God. I hope it didn't stand in the way of any off-camera romance. No, he was so in love with Angelina. They just had the baby. Yeah, they had just had the baby. Because that could have been freaky if you're playing mother and son, but you got a thing on the side. That's a kink right there. Benjamin, get the edit this time, please?

Benjamin. You know what? Kill your father and do what to your mother? After what meal? Lord have mercy. Oh, my God. That's so great. He has such a charisma about him, and he's down to earth.

He's like a Missouri boy, right? He really is. The stuff that he does that no one knows, like out here on his own without security feeding the homeless. This is stuff that Brad Pitt does. The rebuild he and Angelina did to the Ninth Ward. In New Orleans. This is from the heart. And he doesn't brag about it.

People find out about it and say it. If he were a bragger, it'd be fun because we'd call him Bragg Pitt. Bragg Pitt. Yeah, that'd be a good nickname. But he doesn't do it. He doesn't. No, so we can't. He's such a sweet guy.

What was that? We are here. We're going to go back, but we're going to go forward. Okay. Fincher, I have this enormous fear. A, I love him as a director. Me too. Every movie he makes, I like.

Even the ones that are less successful, I'm like, there's a math to these things. He just has a vision. Yes. And he's very clear, very technical. Now, I'm the type of person, I get insecure easy. If you support me, I'll do better and better and better. The more you say, good job, I'm a good job junkie. If you start this, this, now I'll start losing confidence. So I've had this enormous fear of

just the notion of working with him and having to do like 30 takes to me feels like it would just. No, no, no. Tell me. That's not even how it is. That's not how it is. He's looking at things that ain't got to do with you. He looking at the leaf behind your head. It's not about you. And he will tell you, we worked with a lot of elders on that movie and they're not as spry as they used to be so talking and trying to hit the mark it was a challenge and so he would come over to me and he would just be like it's not you we just need her to hit you just have to be patient well that's nice as long as he would let me in on that i could keep my confidence oh come on absolutely he's not an evil man. He's a

perfectionist and so am I. Shit, if you give me 50 times, well, I don't actually need 50 times. No, I think we can get it in three or four. Maybe two. Anyway. It was an amazing experience. But see, I have this ability to read my director's cuts.

I know when I'm close, how they say cut, I can tell. Oh, I got you. You know what I'm close, how they say cut. I can tell. Oh, I got you. You know what I mean? Cut! Some directors have a, that's it. You know, like I can tell.

And I don't watch the monitor. I live in between scenes. I don't have to stay the character. I literally can be bawling my eyes out. And they yell cut. And I'll be like, anyway, so last night. They got a 30% off thing going on over there. Really?

Seriously, I'm usually playing a game. I do that on purpose. They used to talk about me all the time on Empire because whenever they yell cut, I would go to my game and play my game. Cookie was a lot. I don't want that bitch's problems. I got my own. I was a young mother when I came out here. So when I would go to work and come home, he had homework.

I got to feed him. We got to take a bath. So I had to leave it. And that's an important part of your story. So 19? When I had him, no, I was 24. Oh, 24. I was 24. I was still in college though. I was in my junior year when I had him at Howard. Okay. Was Howard just the greatest? It was the best. Everyone I've ever interviewed that went there had like the time of their life. You know, I had a friend ask me yesterday, did you pledge? And I was like, no. For some reason, I didn't feel like I needed to pledge. I was at the Mecca. Like that is the pledge.

I'm already in the family, in the brother, sisterhood. I'm already there. We don't even have a chance. H, you, you, no. I have it. I have it all. Right, right, right. You're on the inside already.

I'm on the inside. Okay, so you get pregnant. I'm guessing it wasn't planned. No, it wasn't planned at all. Oh, right, right. Who wants to get pregnant while they're in college? I don't have a job yet. Listen, that's my assumption, but I'm open to being wrong.

Yeah, no. It just happened. It just happened. Probably sex precluded it, but yes, it happened. You know, actually, I woke up. I felt a little indigestion. My son is the second coming of Jesus. So now we're juggling some stuff though. Yeah.

You deliver in your senior year? The end of my junior year. Actually, when I turned in my last term paper, I went into labor right after. I guess he was like, get me out of here. Cause I stayed up like 24 hours finishing this huge project. I finally finished it and I waddled it. And next thing you know, the contractions came and I was like, oh, he's coming early. He waited though for you to finish. But he still came early. He came like three weeks early. Oh, no kidding. Oh, I stressed him the hell out of it. Yeah, final exam. Who is this crazy lady? I need to see her face to face. How quickly do you move after graduation? Oh, about a year later, because I graduated in 95. And I didn't quite have a plan. I have this baby now, so I'm not single anymore. I just can't pack my bag and go to New York. I had to

strategize. I knew I had to make money. Like, I'm a worker bee. I'm going to put food on the table. The light bill is going to be paid. The rent is going to be paid. I know how to hustle. I know how to work. Well, my favorite is you were working as a secretary in the Pentagon in the morning. And then at night you're singing on the Spirit of Washington. Talk about two opposites. Secretary at the Pentagon. It's as buttoned up as it gets.

And then singing on a boat at night. And school in the middle. And a kid. And then a kid to go home. That's wild. But I had so much support. a boat at night. And school in the middle. And a kid. And then a kid to go home. That's wild. But I had so much support. Ms. Hull, may she rest in peace, who babysat me in elementary school, was still babysitting

when I had- Can I mention that 80% of the people you've mentioned, you've also had to say, rest in peace. And I'm almost nervous you know my name now. You know an inordinate amount of dead people. No! They're just older! Oh my God. You know an inordinate amount of dead people. No. They're just older. Everyone she says is like, rest in peace.

I love you. No, no, no. You keep going back. You're like, we're going back. Exactly. Rewind. Okay, okay. So some people are still alive. But okay.

So you've had some help. I had some help. And I just thought that was beautiful because she took such great care of me that I even called her my grandmother. And her granddaughter, we were like play cousins in school. Her mother and my mother worked at Woodward and Lothrop. Oh, okay. And so that's how she was like, oh, my mom babysits. You should have her.

And so I was integrated into that family. And then to become a young mother in college trying to make my dreams come true. And she's like, bring that baby over here. I could rest because I knew my baby was safe. And being loved. Loved and nurtured and fed and just, oh, everything just worked out. And I was making good money. So I started on the Spirit of Washington. I graduated. Even how I got the job at the Pentagon, my stepmother worked in the library where they had all the secret documents, where the plane hit. It destroyed the library.

Let's add, on your fucking birthday. Yeah. On my birthday. Yeah, what a birthday. What a birthday. Yeah, I can't go to the store on my birthday. I get carded. And they'll go, oh no, no, can you ring up my wine and bananas please? We don't need to go down this dramatic...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they really fucked up your down this traumatic... Right, I'm trying to celebrate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they really fucked up your birthday for you. No, not really. Not really, because we gained angels. We gained angels. Oh, you have such a beautiful perspective. Well, because it's all how we perceive things is how we live. I hate that that happened.

I would never want that to ever happen to any human on Earth. Life is so precious. But if it happened, we we're gonna make the best of it the people that passed would want us to also a lot of this is heading back to framing which i love it's just like how do you think about it and one of the main topics that comes up in my house raising two young girls often is are you the victim in this story are you the hero of this story and so if you're the hero of the story then angels joined you and if you're the hero of this story? And so if you're the hero of the story, then angels joined you. And if you're the victim of the story,

then the world's just conspiring to destroy you. So another thing you can pull back often and just ask yourself a very simple question like, am I the hero in the story I'm telling or am I a victim? Because I certainly would prefer to be the hero in the story. Absolutely the hero.

Yeah, you got to be the hero in your story. Kids want to look up to heroes. Life is hard for everybody. I don't care who you are. It doesn't come with a golden rule book. Follow these rules and the world will open up to you. You should want to be the hero. You can't wallow in the muck.

It will consume you. Take a couple days. Feel your feelings. Feel all the feelings. Ask God why I dropped to your knees. Get mad. Scream if you have to. Get it out of your system because guess what?

You were blessed enough to have breath this morning. Some people didn't make it. You said I said a lot of RIPs. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people didn't wake up this morning. And the fact that you did, you have a chance to become the hero. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, but you have to remind yourself of it. Yeah, you must. Because we all start feeling like the victim. Oh, you must. Because we all start feeling like the victim. Oh, yeah. Baby boy got me from feeling like the victim. My work heals me a lot. I still have a therapist. Well, you keep getting flashes of lightning that would contradict even your story if you were trying to tell it.

Really? How so? Baby boy. Oh, yeah. Hustle and flow. Benjamin Button. They keep popping up hidden figures. You could be telling yourself any story, but the dad is going to slap you in the face sometimes. Like, no, I keep getting hit by lightning. There's grace for me. Good things

happen to me. Absolutely. Good things happen if you wake up in your right mind and you got a roof over your head, you got clothes, you got heat. That right there should be enough. Yeah. I wish we were wired that way. Yeah. But tell me why, baby boy. Because for so long, when I was in a tumultuous relationship, you know, at a very young age, like Yvette was in that movie, I played the victim. He did this to me, he hit me. But what he didn't do was tie me to a radiator and hold a gun to my head. I wasn't a prisoner. I was a prisoner in my mind. When I got that script, it was a hard read because I had to face the girl in the mirror who had thought she was a victim all these years. And I would remember picking up and it was this one scene where she has this dream that Jodi dies

and she has to go down the aisle and see him in the casket. And I'll never forget that day when we were filming. Cuba Gooding Jr. was there on the set visiting. And John kept going in close up. And I was wailing because I would have dreams like that about my son's father. So when I was reading the script, I got chills and I had to walk away because it was too close. Your son's father did get shot in 2003. Stabbed from head to toe.

Hit every major artery in his body. It was a conflict. It was personal. Baby Boy's two years before that? I had done Baby Boy because he died when he was 34 on his birthday. I'll never forget. I called John and I said, John, the dream came true. He was like, what?

He knew exactly what I was talking about because we would have those talks. So in that scene, I had wailed and wailed because this was a dream that I had so many times in real life. The dream had come true. Not really. No, I know what you're saying. My body recognized it. You knew it was coming somehow. You knew this was going to be an experience probably loving this person yeah

you always get a premonition especially if you're a spiritual person and you're an empath you feel things and i remember the last time i saw him i was like he's not gonna live long but i'm thinking he'll die early like 50 something and this was the last time I saw him. That's what I said in my mind. I had a chill. And you weren't together anymore. No, we hadn't been together in years. I mean, I had been out in L.A. for nine years. Marcel was nine. But I would imagine if I'm you, I'm already raising a Black son in America.

And now I'm raising a Black son in America who doesn't have a dad. Well, you know, that's a fear in our community black women with our men Especially with the rate that cops are having these altercate it's like you don't expect it Of course, you're not gonna invite that energy in but it's something that always lives in your subconscious when they leave the house When you're not with them the incarceration rates above 10% for a certain age group. The murder rate, these statistics add up. I don't tack it like that.

I don't put numbers to it. But what I do is I pray over my son. I pray over him. My grandmother prays over him. We got a praying grandmother who has seen some things. Every time I talk to her, she's like, I pray for each and every last one of you. And she makes my son's face light up because he has these deep dimples and she always calls him the beauty dents

his whole face lights up you guys made me cry i don't like it here that's our goal we went to the the Barbara Walters School of Interviewing. Clearly. Oprah Winfrey interns here. If you didn't cry, you didn't come here. Right. But it's real. It's real. And we get so many different types of stories of people who come in here.

But this is a very specific one. Yeah. And it's important for people to remember that. These are things you are caring that other people aren't. Yeah, a lot of parents are really worried what school their kid will get into. Exactly. That's the primary fear. A lot of other parents are worried that their sons will make it to retirement.

You know, they'll be alive. It's so many things to worry about as a black parent because it's not even just the law. Like, what happens in school? Black and brown kids are being punished more rigorously than the white kids. They step out of line just an inch. The punishment never matches the crime. It's so many things to worry about. And so you just have to have faith. And I just know that my son is going to make it. I speak all good into him because my dad did that to me. The fact that I'm here is a miracle because when you're in an inner city school and it's a public school,

you are in the pipeline to prison, period. You're forgotten about. You don't have the proper books. You don't have the proper staffing. You are set up to fail. You have all the teachers that have been kicked out of the different districts but can't be fired and just get moved to that school. Yep. It's so many obstacles and red tape. Well, let me be clear. There's obviously a ton of brilliant, beautiful teachers. Oh, yes.

But also, that is the pipeline. Yeah. My black cousin, Jolin, is a principal of a public school. So I'm proud of him. Amazing, yeah. Because we need more male, you know, positive. So this thing called life, yes, it can be hard, but what are you doing about it? Are you sitting around on your ass and

complaining? Are you out here being a mover and a shaker and lifting other people up? Because when you lift other people up, you get lifted. It's as simple as that. That's why the mountain is not a scary place. If you bring everyone up with you, the mountaintop, absolutely. Then you're more safe up there. Well, speaking of the mountain, when you were talking about getting rejected from the school, that happened to me also

in an acting program where you auditioned to get to the next level and half the people got it and half the people didn't and I didn't. And so from then on, every time there was a rejection,

it was like they knew always that I'm not going to end up. That's the script you wrote. Exactly. Based on that one moment. So when you say, aren't I here yet? Why am I not on the list? I did it.

I proved myself. Maybe there's like a tinge every time of back to that moment of not getting accepted. No, I'm going to tell you as simple as this. In this town, black movies are treated differently. They have low expectations. And I hate that word black movie. God, it drives me insane because why are our movies singled out like that? I don't look at trailers and go, oh, you know, today I'm going to go see a white movie. Oh no, there's this really cool Asian movie. I'm going to go see it. I go because the trailer makes me interested or I like that actor. But when it comes to our movies, it's always black. So when you say that, other demographics go, oh, it's a black

thing. It's not for us. Well, there's also some weird paradox where white folks love black TV. They've shown up for that historically. That can exist. But you're right. If it gets labeled a black movie they don't feel invited or i don't know there's a weird paradox there it is because now i gotta spend my money yeah that's a good point i'll try this thing for free also maybe there's even like oh in my living room i'm not gonna feel other but if i go to this black movie on friday night i don't know what people's thoughts are that's why we need to stop saying black movies. And I hope that this color purple is doing this because this movie transcends color, age, race, religion. It's a story about humanity.

You know what's interesting? And I wonder what your memory is. My memory of color purple. So it came out in 85. I was 10. I was 15. Right. So you're more mature than me.

I'm seasoned. It's a little more Lowry song. I'll just still try was 15. Right. So you're more mature than me. I'm seasoned. Just a little more Lowry song. I would have still tried to talk to you. But anyways. I would have been like, hey, young fella. This is overly confident 10-year-old. In my memory, I'm now realizing I saw that as a pre-Civil War movie. It felt very like this was the slave experience when I was 10. Now I'm like,

oh, that's so weird. This is set in the turn of the century, 1900. So this is Reformation. I didn't have the details, I guess. As a 10-year-old, people were poor. They were just coming out of that. They were now still in agriculture. It was still rural. So it's just interesting that I even had as a kid the wrong idea of what story is even being told. It's a very interesting moment in history because people have just left bondage 10 minutes ago. And you go, you're free. Right. Okay, where are we going to go?

It's a very precarious and interesting time to look at. The first generation to have freedom and what do we do with that? How do we organize and what is the power structure and the status within it? It used to be everyone was just zero status because everyone was property. Now we're seeing strata of status. It's all so fertile for a really incredible story. What was your memory of that movie? I was 15.

I got rejected from the School of Fine Arts, but I still had a longing. I wasn't in college yet. I was still in high school. So I just remember seeing it going, oh my God, I could really do this. Outside of roots on TV, on the big screen is a whole nother energy. That's superstar status. That's the thing that you go, I want to do that one day. And to see so many black people. And can we add, and I'd be guessing here, I don't know, it wasn't my experience,

but we're now at culturally a point where we would prefer, rightly so, that these stories are told by black folks. But also in 1985, Spielberg is the biggest thing in the world. He sent Cecil B. DeMille. Although now we would prefer it, there was also some really radical thing that the biggest star in the world that can tell any story he'd want to tell would want to tell your story.

Absolutely. It is a part of the cinema canon. It stays. It goes nowhere. It got the attention and the craftsmanship of the person that was doing it the best at the height of their powers. It was deserved and earned and warranted, and it was right there. It had to be insanely inspiring. It is the spark that created the Color Purple multiverse. It started with a book. Now we have a film, a musical on Broadway,

and now the film adaptation of the musical. 30 years from now, it'll be something else. Right, right. Because you got to remember that book, how many pages? We only get to see about this much of the story. Okay. I have not read the book. Oh, the book is massive. Okay. You know, in 1985, we didn't really deal with the lesbian relationship, the love relation.

I don't even want to call it anything. Just the love that these two humans shared. Because that's what it was. It was the tenderness of pure love. Had nothing to do with sex or anything like that. It was two humans who actually saw each other. Yeah. And we're on opposite ends of this power structure.

Because you got to remember, this is the first generation of freedom. This one was waiting to get out in the world. Yes, yes, yes. She went against everything. She was a me. Like, I'm getting out of my zip code. She probably felt big in her environment. Oh, no, when you're floating up on the boat singing.

Proud Mary, by the way, that was my single. That was not my single, my solo. That's what they called it. You got a solo. And we were A, B, C, or D. That's how they would do the shows, the waiters. If you're A, B, or C tonight, you're doing the show. And then whoever else, you had to do your solos.

But if you were really good, you did the solo and the show. Oh. But yeah, you flowed up on this boat. You're from a different dimension. Am I? Yeah. I'm an alien? Yeah.

I'm an alien? Wait, wait a minute. The way you're dressed, the way you're holding your fan, the way you're singing, the confidence, the matriarchal power you possess, like all this is from another planet. She's the change maker in this film you never know when she's coming but when she comes it goes up 10 notches she comes and she gives the town hope because she made it out call her what you want hoe fast drunk drunk whatever she made it out and she's living her life unapologetically she's free and then mister

is in love with you. It's complicated. Infatuated with you. Yeah, like all the men she sings to. There's no love there. It's only physical. That's why Celie is so important. You know they have kids together. They never really deal with.

You saw the kids running around. And Celie gets sold to Mr. for a cow. The dad says you're going with him. And then now she's not experienced her husband's lust or affection and then this woman arrives and she sees her husband have this and yet you two become friends yeah because they see each other all the men that suge laid up with all the people that she give all her heart and soul to when she performs, she gives it all to them. She's getting nothing in return.

There's a deep loneliness and sadness that they both have on opposite ends of the spectrum of how to end up with that loneliness. It's delicate. It's beautiful. It's the tenderness of pure love. You're incredible in it. I mean, I hope you feel so proud of it. I am. And you sing like a motherfucker. Thank mean, I hope you feel so proud of it. I am.

And you sing like a motherfucker. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I mean, I guess we should have known from Hustle & Flow, but. No, that wasn't really singing. It's cool. When people are like, you can sing.

I'm like, you could do that. You go in the studio, you sing the hook and they loop it. Well, Monica does not going to want him to tell you that. No, yeah, because now he's going to try and oh God. Oh, thanks. Can we, well. We need to talk about her being single. Yes.

That's on the docket. Okay, yeah. It's no surprise, y'all. It's crappy out there. You just said all the black men are in jail. The white men don't approach me. I just want to be clear. I never said all the black men are in jail.

No, that was a joke. That's a joke, yeah. A lot of them are. Can I hit you with my theory before you give me any clues? What? If we're going to be honest about everything. Uh-oh. To be a woman that is making the money and has places to be,

you've narrowed your field of options of men who have the confidence that can handle that and support that and not be jealous of it, not try to act out and claim their own dominance. Where are they? Can you tell me? Point me in the direction. This is what I'm saying. Because if we're being honest about the suffering of the different classes,

you can have a great fucking life still with your blackness. I would say in this case, your femaleness is the thing that is probably more in your way. In the industry. In the industry. And I'd say in love. Why? Because you're powerful. Has that been an element?

Absolutely. Because every time we interview a woman that would end up in here, unless they found the unicorn dude. I've been there. Why I'm single and happy. Okay. But is that, if we had to label one element

that has gotten in the way? Being a very successful woman, absolutely. How is that materialized when you've been with people? Usually they start off infatuated. And the first thing I go is, you know what I do, right? I come with a lot. And when do you tell them, here's what the whole package comes with? When I feel them getting serious.

If it's fun, who cares? But if it's getting serious and I'm feeling like my heart is in, their heart is in. And what will you say are some of the things that you come with? People going to be in your business. And that happened. They didn't like that we were together. Somebody created a page and started trying to tear him down. I was like, I told you I come with a lot. Yeah. Because if you weren't with me, this wouldn't be happening. You could be dating any woman and it wouldn't be looked at under a microscope. That means now your life is public. Now every move you make, people are watching because of me. Right. You've now entered the play. You're a character. Whether you had set out to be so or not, that's what you're going to have to

deal with. So, okay. So that's one of the things is like having kind of a public persona now that maybe you wouldn't have chosen. Well have a son that's number one right most guys at this age have kids and if not i'm like why don't you just what's wrong like it could be anything are you a jerk no woman wants to have a baby with you because you're that pitiful it's something to think about there are incredible men i just made the choice to say i didn't want to have kids. Yes. But I also think Monica and I once had an argument about this, but I was saying, if you meet a guy who's 40, who's never dated a girl for more than six months, I think it's appropriate to have some fears that maybe

they're not. At this point, I know that's a little dicey because you could end up there. I don't think it's fair. Yeah. Look, as a stereotype, yes, it shows that they can't commit or whatever. But you don't know people's individual stories until you know their individual stories. And I pushed back because I said, I haven't. I'm 36 and I haven't. So I would hate if someone just saw that on a piece of paper and was like, oh, she's never been in a serious, serious relationship. So that's a no. It's like they don't know why.

But I want to be ultra clear is that you would give that explanation and that would be a suffice explanation. But I do think it'd be okay for you to question why not. I would totally question because now are you a serial dater? They exist. Totally. As soon as it gets a little too, because if I'm in, I'm all in. How are you coming to this?

So if you're not, can we be upfront? But people don't have the balls to do that. Yeah. I'm happy. I'm not longing. And at this point, I've decided I don't want to be married. For what? I'm not having kids.

What's the point? Let's be life partners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Live and thrive. And I want to keep my house. You keep yours. I renovated my house. I said, when you walk in here, I want you to know this is a girl's house.

Yes. This is a girl's house. Yes. So if you want us to be together, I'm still going to keep my house. But you can buy us another house. I'm not moving in with you. You're not moving in with me. And we're going to enjoy life.

Without all these labels and ideals. And without all that paperwork. Sure. I think about this for Monica because Monica's building the house across the street and it's spectacular. Oh, it's a girl's house too. I love it. We were picking out this chandelier, me and my designer. And I was like, God, it's very feminine.

Who cares? I get to have that. Exactly. Yeah, it's nice. Exactly. But I think, and because I love Monica, I worry about her. I think what guy's going to be able to hop right in there. It's a real issue.

Yeah, you're the breadwinner. You've got this great place. I'm along for the ride and I'm not threatened by it. You know, I want that for you. I guess, and I wonder if you agree, it's not worth it. I'd rather have this life without that person than compromise that other stuff just so that there can be a person there. I prefer this route. Just for the sake of I have a man or I have a husband.

No, my happiness is priceless. And I even had a talk with God. I was like, look, I've loved. I've had love. I've lost love. I know love. I am love. So I am okay.

Yeah. I'm happy just as long as my loved ones are healthy and my heart is open. I'm not bitter. I'm not jaded. But the funny thing about Hollywood is no one comes here to give. People come here to take. What can this town give me? I want to be a star. So I never saw myself meeting my husband here. I literally was like, I'm coming here to work, set up a life for me and my son. I never thought I'd meet my husband in L.A. Because I came here to take. Right. I love that honesty.

Yeah. So is he in L.A.? I don't know. Maybe in transit at the airport. Maybe he's on vacation. But I'm open to love. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. Sure.

Yeah, which is great. I think you should only hopefully see it as something additive, not your missing piece or to complete you or all these romantic fucking movie paradigms we're all stuck in. But just the additive nature. Yeah. But you need a guy that's strong enough to be proud of you and not threatened by you, that can go watch you in color purple and go like, I promise you that's how they come in. Oh, baby, you can do that?

I promise you that's how they come in. Then what happens? They come in and they go like with me to an event. And they'll hold the shoes and the stuff and be proud. Yeah. And then I don't know if they're thinking that's just an isolated incident, but baby, I got several of these coming. Like, this is my life. You're going to be holding the shoes and the coat for it. You know what I mean? That's your position. Well, there's two elements that

can happen there. One is just the, oh, I feel less than because that's my role. Then the second thing is all this stuff around her is threatening to me because it's very shiny and flashy and statusy and I can't give that. So now the second layer of insecurity can pop up. Things that when you get nominated for stuff and they send you flowers, like companies are sending you flowers. So of course they're going to be as big as that desk. One guy, I could hear him say things like,

I couldn't send you flowers like that. I knew we were doing what he took us to the spa and the lady said, this way, Mr. Henson. I was like, oh, she just fucking killed my relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They call me Mr. Bell sometimes at hotels. But see, look at you. I dig it.

I'm not claiming I'm a big enough man that if I didn't have my own shit that I would be able to tolerate that as well. But I can because I have my own identity and my own shit. And you said you have a therapist, so you're working on yourself. Yeah.

I can work with that. I agree. I just so you're working on yourself. I can work with that. I agree. I just need you engaged in the fight. I don't need you fixed. You know what I'm saying? Because I ain't. I'm working on me. I want to mention that before you go, because you also work with a foundation or maybe even founded it. You founded it. And it's to shine a light on the mental health crisis in the black community. And I'd imagine for males a lot as well, right? I would just tell you between you and I, this is a dangerous thing to say out loud, but I'm from like the white trash area. In the white trash area, the masculinity is really heightened and weaknesses, oh, you're fucking dead if you have the weakness. So it's like none of that is going to help anyone say I need help and

I need to talk to someone and I'm afraid and all this stuff. I do think it's heightened in these areas where masculinity has been kind of stolen from the people, from the traditional ways of getting it. Bingo. And not only that, when you've been broken in your manhood and emasculated by this country, by the world, basically, because you can't be black anywhere. So what do you do when the world is telling you you have to be strong? You cannot let them see you cry because what else do you have left as a man?

Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Who was on? Someone was on talking. It was so beautiful the way they said it. Oh, it was Craig Ferguson talking about Scotland. The, I need respect. You could laugh at that and say that that's trivial.

But when that's all you have, you really can't say that about somebody. And it goes deep for us. It is so in us that we'll kill each other for that respect. It's a disease. It was forced upon us. And even with black women having to be strong, all of that shit will kill you. You cannot push through everything. And I understand why we needed that term back in the day, like when I was a strong black woman. Yes, because there was a synergy among black women where we were smart. We were the ones going to college and getting jobs

and making the money in the household. But other people take on other demographics go, well, she's strong. That's why we're dying in hospitals because we strong. They won't come to our aid. Serena Williams, one of the most famous, incredible athletes of our time almost died in a hospital. And I will guarantee you it's because she's a strong black woman. No one hears our cries. Yeah, there's been all these studies where they've shown that you'll get under-prescribed. You will not be taken seriously about your pain. All this stuff.

Because of strong black woman. We can take anything. Right. I started saying this years ago when it dawned on me like girl you would not stop it with this strong and i'm almost offended when people say that to me you're so strong today yeah at this moment yeah it's like don't put that on me don't put it on me though well it goes also to this ubiquitous objection to not being allowed to be an entire person. So you could only be a strong black woman. You couldn't be a full person with the full

spectrum and some weaknesses and vulnerabilities and some fears. That's why Cookie was so important because if we didn't go into her life, you would just write her off as some sassy black woman. And that's why I wanted to play her because I wanted to show her humanity. I wanted to show her vulnerability. That woman exists in the world as she needs to see herself. All of the dimensions. If somebody's loud and rude, there's a reason behind that.

And so when people see the reason, that's where humanity happens. It's like, oh, I have compassion for this person because I understand why they're like that. What was it like to go through that? It's lightning striking. Empire showed up and then all of a sudden it was like, oh, that is the biggest thing in the world. It was the weirdest moment for me.

Who had been doing this for so long? And probably thought you understood what being in public was. No, I knew there was a difference. And I was clear on how I was vibrating, kind of not everywhere. I was doing that on purpose. I have a son. I'm a single woman. I don't want everybody knowing where I live. You know, I don't want you in like that because it's so much to protect by myself. And I learned that from Regina King, who's a dear, dear sister friend of mine. And I loved how she was able to move. And I was like, I want to be like that. I want to be

recognized, but I can still blend in because I take on characters in life. And so it's imperative that I get to people watch. That's how I pick up mannerisms and I could be on a date and I'm like, they're on a first date. Look at that. It's getting harder and harder to do, but I fight for that. I just went to that Sphere in Vegas. You know what that is? Yeah. I haven't been yet. I hadn't either, but I go and you would think I'd spend most of the night looking at the incredible multimedia display or YouTube. No, I was watching these two people that were clearly on ecstasy making out for two hours. That's always going to be where my interest truly is. I want to watch these two. I want to fill in this whole fantasy I have about what date are they

on that they would make out for two hours standing up. It's so much more interesting to me. That's how I travel the world. Whenever I go to any country in the world, I spent three months in China for Karate Kid. And yes, I did the touristy stuff because you get it out of the way, but I'm there for three months. I was driving around. I'm like, what's behind these walls? And they're like, oh no, those are the Hutongs. I was like, what is that? They're like the alleyways. I was like, baby, I want to go to the alleyways.

Let me go there. And that's the heartbeat of Beijing. Those are the workers. That's where I was every night in some bar in a Hutong

somewhere behind one of those walls. Oh, that's amazing. The best time. Who were you with? Oh God. Jada Pinkagami. My mom had come for two weeks.

We hung out a lot. I'm a huge crew person, so I always hang out with hair and makeup. So it was that because it was just me. And I was a supporting role, so I didn't work every day. So I really loved when my mom came out. Her and my son came out for two weeks. But we hung out with Gammy because she wasn't working every day. Wait, who are you calling Gammy?

Jada Pink is mom. Oh, right, right, right, right. We just interviewed her. Yeah. And I do remember it was Gammy. Yeah, Gammy because she wasn't working every day. Wait, who are you calling Gammy? Jada Pinkett's mom. Oh, right, right, right, right. We just interviewed her. Yeah. And I do remember it was Gammy. Yeah, Gammy. I'm sorry. No, no.

I'm like, are you calling Jada Gammy? No, no, Jada's mom. I'm like, this is, I don't know how I didn't get that in the research that her nickname is Gammy. I'm sorry. I should have specified. I should have been more clear. Okay. I guess I just want to wrap up the

empire experience so once that broke did you feel a sense of powerlessness i think from the outside people would assume when you achieve that much social capital it induces power but to what you're saying or it's like no to be at a, have no control over what's about to happen, that feels very powerless. And so it's a weird dichotomy of rising status yet losing control. That's the perfect way to put it. Right? It's a very confusing experience. And from people on the outside, maybe hard to be empathetic with.

Oh, yeah. I got into a screaming match. Well, I wasn't screaming. He was in Chicago at a Target because this guy said that I'm supposed to take pictures because that's what comes with the job. And you're not supposed to be mad. So I'm always supposed to be on. I can't just come and buy my toilet tissue and paper towels like everybody else. Right.

Well, that's what you asked for. I just showed him compassion and I just walked off. Right. I had to find my piece in it all because it happened like a storm. They didn't want to sell that overseas. You know how it got sold overseas? The fans found it and started downloading it illegally

and they were like, oh, there's money to be made over there because I've been told my entire career black doesn't do well. It doesn't translate. Now I have social media. So you can't lie to me anymore because I see the different flags from Ibiza,

from places I've never heard of in the world saying, I love you. All walks of life. And now you're lying to me. So I said to Twitter, I'm going to get overseas. I don't know how, but I'm coming to my fans overseas. Then Empire happens. All of a sudden, now they want to do this big campaign. I get to Paris

and it's me and Lee Daniels and it's 1,500 seats and it was a Q&A. We screened the pilot in the first episode. And I'm sitting in the audience. No one knew I was there. And they're asking the questions

and they got to the cookie questions. Lee was like, why don't you ask her? She's here. Before he could say my last name, they stood up and screamed. Parisians know less. Listen. They hate all of us. They do, but they love me, honey. They made me ugly face crying. And I told them, I was like, oh my God, you are myth busters because my entire career, but not even that, because that was Cookie. I go outside to get in the car.

There are fans out there with jackets to my fucking movies, y'all. They know my name. They're not calling me Cookie. They're going, Tito G, Tito G, please, please. May you sign? They're so generous and respectful. When I go there, I'll stop everything I'm doing to take a picture. Just how they approach you.

Not like they're entitled to it. That's why I told my new business manager, I said, the plan is to be out of here before 60. Not out of life, but out of this soil over there somewhere. I don't know where yet. Italy? Probably because I love the food. Am I going to stop acting forever? No.

But I've done a lot. Oh my God, yes. You know, I haven't played a villain or a lot. Oh, my God, yes. You know, I haven't played a villain or a superhero yet, but hurry up these knees. You hosted SNL. I did. That's impossible. You can say I did everything. I did.

You hosted SNL. I did. I haven't joined the Marvelverse yet. So maybe you and I will do them. I'll come out of retirement. Okay. These knees, though. Do I have to run?

Maybe I can be like a Professor X in a wheelchair. Yeah. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah. Oh, there are workar? Maybe I can be like a Professor X in a wheelchair. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. There are workarounds. You could be like a minotaur or something. What are these, half horse? Centaur?

Centaur. You could be like a half, beautiful horse. With long, beautiful mane. Well, Taraji, this has been a blast. You're so fun. You are so fun. My last question is, the way, girl. Yes.

Which is your autobiography. Do you have a relationship with LL Cool J? Is there any connection? Did he see that you titled your book that and reach out? I know his wife, Simone, really well. I love her jewelry. I'm always, girl, send me these earrings. Not so much him.

I was always a fan. Back to school jams in D.C. Back in D.C. When he was talking about my radio and mama said, knock you out with that t-shirt off. Don't call it a fan. The back to school jams in D.C. back in the day when you was talking about radio and mama said, knock you out with that t-shirt off and that can't go.

Don't call it a comeback. Do not call it a comeback. The one year my mother wouldn't let me go because this is how much we cherish family. I cut her head out of pictures and was poking needles

in them, tending them under the bed. And she found that box and I was like, I'm going to die for sure. She laughed. She was tickled. But Around the Way Girl, it is a nod to that song.

Absolutely. Because that's who I am. I need an Around the Way Girl. And I'm proud of it. Well, I have enjoyed this so much. I hope everybody checks out The Color Purple. It's a Christmas release. I think it'll be enormous.

It's so beautifully shot. The trailer is so fucking good and snappy. And whoever cut that needs a nod. Blitz. Our director had his hands on everything. Oh, it's so snappy. He's a musician. He was a rapper and he was one of those kids handing out CDs in New York.

He never went to film school. He's a Ghanaian. So, you know, in Africa, I guess their houses are always being worked on. And so whenever they would fix a room, there would be another empty room they would have to work on. And his mother would be like, go in there and make this your whatever. And so they don't dream to come here. The fact that he came to America and he's like the first to do this major studio feature film. Ghana is going nuts right now.

This is just not the norm. And so he said he remembered he would go to movies and he would go with his notebook and he would sit there after a while the credits are rolling and he would take his notes. What his mother did

was allowed him to dream. She always created a space for his creativity. He's in Ghana. He didn't have music schools. He taught himself instruments. His talents, he self-taught. So impressive.

It's incredible. Fun. Yeah. Fun, fun, fun. So fun. Well, I hope you'll come back. Oh, absolutely. I guess we've got eight more years, it sounded like. Before you hit Rome or whatever. Before you peel off to Rome. Let's do this again. We will, for sure. Okay, let's.

I would come back. Oh, we didn't even bond over Octavia. You know, she and I were in a comedy troupe together 24 years ago. Yes, when we were all babies in L.A. She's so special. We don't talk every day, but when we do, baby, it fills my heart and my soul. Yeah, she just leads with emotion. She's a good person.

Yeah, yeah. She's a good egg. She's a good one. I'm glad I can call her my friend. All right, well, good luck with everything, and we'll do this again. Yes, we will. Stick around for the fact check. Because they're human, they make lots of mistakes.

You're in your cupboard. It's been a while since you were in your cupboard. You haven't been in my cupboard in a while. Hold on one second. Yeah. Will you talk? Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Let's just leave it.

You feel comfy? You feel comfy with this? I feel scared. Oh, why? Boo! No! You're supposed to protect me. I do have increased anxiety. Oh, disorder? IAD? Generalized anxiety disorder. I

mean, I do have that, but I haven't had it in quite a long time. The listener can't see, but my coffee mug picked up a bit of tissue on the bottom as if it just left the toilet and had toilet paper. It's very embarrassing. Okay. Sorry. Back to your anxiety. Wait. If you see somebody, if you see a stranger coming out of the bathroom, if you're at the airport, okay, and you see somebody walking with a tissue on their butt, on their butt, not on their shoe. Hanging out of the back of their pants.

Yeah. Would you say something? Well, hold on. Let's first establish an order of embarrassment because in my mind, shoe would be least embarrassing. Hanging out of the top of your denim would be second most. And then dangling out of the bottom of your skirt would be probably the most. Do you think that would be the most? Yes, that's so bad. And what if there's poop on it?

No, we don't need to make it. Oh, no. It's already embarrassing. Okay, what would you do? Oh, so it just happened. Think at Descanso Gardens. I was walking out of the bathroom and I got behind this woman who was kind of lumbering already. And like clogging up my exit.

Sure. already and like clogging up my exit. Sure. And then right as I was getting frustrated, I glanced down and she had like a good six squares. It was like 18 inches of tissue hanging off of her. On the foot? Yeah. And she had a very large shoe on and then all this tissue dragging behind it.

And I just let her carry on her merry way. You leave that to the folks who are with her. It's not, I can't take on that responsibility. Yeah, that's the piety she should expect from her friends. I know, but sometimes it's like when I was walking back from all time and I had bird poop on my sweater. Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, that turned out to probably be granola.

Okay. But what is I thought was bird poop. Mm-hmm. And then there was a man who was walking his dog who looked at me. I thought he was just looking at my face. Sure, he probably was. No, he was looking at the bird poop, but then he didn't say anything. Really quick, how are you confirming what he was looking at?

I just know these things. You know it intuitively. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I guess for me, it's better that he didn't say anything. Because I just would have said like, oh, no. Yeah, and then what can be done? The tissue, you could remove it.

But this will sound very libertarian of me. But at some point, what's your personal responsibility? Like when I leave the bathroom, I glance down at my shoes. And if you don't have that own care for yourself, I don't know why I have to have it for you. Wow. I know that's a hard take, but I also think it's true. Like if you don't care enough to look, why should I? Maybe in 2024, we should have a little bit more feelings of care for the world. Oh, that's a good idea. Okay, but let's, I'm going to use a different analogy. That's virtually the same thing, which is like when you see someone

whose hair is a mess and tangled and ratty, you don't go like, oh, hey, you forgot to comb your hair. You go like, oh yeah, this person doesn't give a fuck about combing their hair. If their teeth have turned yellow and green from not brushing your teeth, you don't go like, hey, you've forgotten to brush your teeth for the last decade.

You're like, they don't give a fuck. So if you don't look down when you're leaving a stall of a bathroom. Oh, no. To see if you're dragging. That's so different. Cotton out. Well. Because one's an honest mistake and the others are choices.

They're all neglect. Oh, my God. Now, I mean, I guess I'll just admit here today, 2024. Oh, shh. 2024, shh. I never look at my feet when I leave the bathroom. Oh, boy. That's brazen.

Do you think it's absent-mindedness, cockiness, or belief that that kind of thing won't happen to you? God, I guess all three of those are kind of one in the same, really. I think for me, it's just I forget that's a thing that happens. Oh, sure. Not me. I'm always on high alert for that because that's rough. You'd think I would be really hyper aware of this as someone so worried about embarrassment. Yes. Although I don't think I would be that embarrassed if someone

said, oh, you have tissue paper on your shoe. If it was coming out of my pants, I would cry right there. I would just cry. Yeah, because the assumption then would be, oh, they wiped. They didn't even throw it in the toilet. They just left it between their butt cheeks and pulled their pants up. No. Which I might not point out that that happened, but I might get their number to try to hang with them. It also sounds kind of fun. No, I think it's that they wiped and it didn't make it into the toilet. So that's worse because.

Yeah, it's soiled. Yeah, yeah, definitely. I mean, I feel like this strangely leads into what we wanna talk about, which is we'd like to explicate the movie, Poor Things. Poor Things. But first I do wanna say, happy new year. Oh, happy new year.

And truth be told, we're not at new year yet, but I'll be traveling. Oh, you're gonna do that? See, today I'll be traveling. Oh, you're going to do that? See, today's the day I feel like we don't do that. So your new year's resolution is to start lying like I have been in the past. We got to sync up our ethics. I know. Let me tell you mine, okay?

I have very specific rules about this. Okay. If it's something where time matters, like this is a case where time matters. It's the beginning of a new year. It's a big declaration. Fresh start. Fresh start, resolutions. We do have to pretend because that is very jarring for someone who's moved into the new year and then is like, oh, God, they're still back there.

Hold on. So then in this scenario, should I pretend I pulled the prank I intended to pull? Yeah. Where I ordered the pizza. Do you know this? No. Delta and I came up with this bit together. We're going to order a pizza at 1150 p.m. on New Year's Eve.

Okay. And then when it arrives a half hour later, we're going to tell the delivery person, we don't want this pizza. And they're going to go, why? And we're going to go, we ordered this pizza last year. Yeah, that's great. So now the question is, do I pretend that I executed that? Do I assume I do? Are you really going to do it? I mean, I kind of wanted just to make Delta laugh and the driver. Okay. I think you should act like you, tell the story as if it happened

and then in the next fact check, we'll reveal that that was a lie. Okay, this seems stressful. Do it. Okay, so we. Tell me about your New Year's Eve. Oh my God, it was so fun. Delta and I ordered pizza at 11.50, 1 p.m.

And when it arrived at 12.20 am we said we don't want it and the and the man or woman said why and we said we ordered was it a man or a woman yeah we ordered this pizza last year we don't want it now oh that's so funny yeah it was so funny everyone laughed so hard especially the man or hard, especially the man or woman. And did the man or woman get upset because they have to work on New Year's Eve? No, there is someone that they don't even recognize this calendar year we're on, so it's fine. It's like being Jewish and working on Christmas. It doesn't mean anything. Oh, wow. All right.

Yeah, you get it now. Tell me about Georgia. Georgia's great. You went to a fun restaurant last night. It was hyped up. Did it deliver? Yeah, it was really yummy. We went shopping, of course, first. TJ Maxx or Marshalls? TJ Maxx the day before. First thing we did. Okay. Did you get anything? Well, yeah. We were looking specifically for these all-clad measuring spoons that my mom got at TJ Maxx a couple weeks ago. Oh, you went back for round two.

Yes. She wanted to get it for me as a, quote, surprise present, but it wasn't a surprise. Where she takes you there and points to it on the rack and then asks you to put it in the basket and then- Yes, and pay for it. Anyway, we went to TJ Maxx, unfortunately sold out. No measuring spoons. Of course, of course. All cloud measuring spoons at TJ?

That's going to fly off the shelf. Exactly. It's a hot commode. That's like a Wusthof knife set on sale there. That's gone. Bye-bye. They didn't have that, but they did have a tiny all-clad pan. It's tiny.

It will fit a fried egg. Oh, like just to make two eggs pan. I love that kind of pan. It's not really for that, but that's what I'm going to use it for. It sounds so cute in size. And the line was so long at TJ Maxx. Of course. Days before Christmas?

Yes. It was insane. And I was just getting this one tiny pan. One tiny pan. This now brings up another thing, which is those stores bring on extra staff just for that period. And that's, I think, generally people that are home from school. Oh, sure. Yeah.

It's a curious time to work somewhere for two weeks because it's the worst two weeks of the whole year at that place. Yes. Like, I want to work for two weeks over winter break at like the beach or somewhere that gets no use during that holiday. Not come work for us for the two worst weeks of the year. I know. I mean, I don't think people want to be. I salute these folks.

And they know the least about the store. It's also a curious time for ill-informed employees because it's a madhouse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, the line was outrageous. Line was outrageous, but I stood in it. I stuck it out for the tiny pan.

Ah, you didn't try to buy someone's pan at the front of the line like Taylor Swift style? No. When I'm in Georgia, I'm normal. I'm normal here. You know, I actually, speaking of my anxiety, I've been thinking about that since I've been here. I'm having some weird, this might, I'm worried this is going to come off strange, so I might have to cut it. Okay. But I'm having some sadness around my old life.

Missing your old life? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's very normal. Like when TJ Maxx, when it was so exciting. Yeah. Because, you know, we went there and they didn't have the measuring spoons. And I was like, oh, man, like I was really mad, you know?

Yeah, yeah. And then my mom was like, well, you can just buy it, like full price. I can just buy it. Right, sure. I can just go on the website and price. I can just buy it. Right, sure. I can just go on the website and buy it. It's not going to make a difference. And I got sad when she said that because it was true. And it really did bum me out.

Sure. I think that sounds really disgusting and privileged. So weirdly to me, it's almost anti-privilege. Of course you can do that, but the thing you're experiencing in sharing is the reality of, quote, privilege that no one wants to hear about because it ruins the fantasy. Yes. So everything's just relative. Everything just steps up one peg, but it's all the exact exact same so your thing now is like you go to the row it's on the website and it's gone yeah that's your tj but it's all the fucking same you're just paying a lot more for the same feeling like wanting something and then not getting it or like wanting

a deal the missing of being excited for a deal yeah there's There's trade-offs. This is one of the trade-offs. Yeah. Yeah, you won't have that end zone dance feeling when you got something at 40% that you had wanted and couldn't have otherwise. That's a very exciting feeling. You lose that. You get what you want,

but then ironically, when you get everything you want, you don't really want anything because the excitement is the dopamine. Is the feeling. Yeah. It's not the item. The objects are ironically immaterial. want you don't really want anything because the excitement is the dopamine is the feeling yeah the objects are ironically immaterial it's just the anticipation and i know yeah so that weirdly i don't know i feel like that's i think that's counter to i think if you went and you were like

oh they weren't here oh who gives a shit'll order it online. That to me would be privileged without recognizing like, oh, I pay a price for that and I lose something for that. And, and huh, that's curious and interesting. Yeah. Because the truth that when my mom said, you can just buy it. And I was like, oh yeah, I guess I'm not buying that. I don't, I don't need that. I don't really, I mean, I do want it, but I don't. You wanted it from TJ Maxx. Yes. I wanted it from TJ Maxx for a deal. And I don't know.

It just sort of made me sad. I'm like, what is the point of all this? I mean, New Year's is a sad time. I mean, we had a blue Christmas, and I don't want to have a blue New Year's. No, right. Yeah. But. But let's go blue. Let's go blue. U of M, Rose Bowl today. No, it's just, it is a time of reflection. Well, absolutely. It's all about evaluating your previous year and then making goals to have a year you'd be, I don't know, more proud of or whatever the following year. This is very

appropriate, but I wonder, it's all tricky. I'm going to give you one story that I hope relates to it. I was on Instagram. Someone posted a picture, maybe even Pete Wentz. Somebody posted a picture of like the old Nintendo, the original Nintendo and about seven games. And they were really excited. They got all this from ebay or whatever and then i i was like on the path i went to ebay i'm like i'm too gonna get you know i'm gonna get street fighter i'm gonna get all these things and i had a moment of clarity it was like i don't miss the game i miss being in seventh grade and discovering these games and then sitting in my basement with aaron trying to beat them i miss the feeling associated with that game.

And that I can't buy on eBay, sadly. I know. We're all chasing this childlike purity. Novelty. This is all going to circle into poor things. But beautifully, it's all getting set up. But because I, too, have had this kind of utopian desire for the simpler times. But I think what we really want is like, we want to be back in the simpler times,

but with the knowledge that everything worked out and we're safe. A hundred percent. Yes, which is just not what life is. Exactly. Because when I really do, when I think about that time, it was so stressful. Because of future surfing and what am I going to have and what is it going to be? Yeah. It's just, I guess it's impossible to be happy. Happy New Year.

Well, so my solution to that, which you already know, is I suffer all morning. Yeah. I suffer all morning. I meditate. I'm not in the mood to do that. When I wake up, I want to drink coffee and look at my phone. So I put that off for 20 minutes to meditate. And then I have to journal, which I'm not always in the mood to journal.

And then hopefully I have to write a page of prose. I'm not in the mood to do that. And then I go sit in the fucking cold plunge for seven minutes, which is miserable. And then I go into the gym to work out to warm up, which is miserable. But after all of that, which is now 11 a.m., the rest of the day I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm entitled now to just be happy and indulgent because I earned it all. And that's just how I figured out how my body works. Like my body works that way. If I make it suffer for the first third of the day, then I can have a really great rest of the day. Sure. I understand that feeling. That's the old

addict behavior that's been channeled because, you know, I have that too, to an extent where it's like if I've worked all day, I obviously earned the wine bar. Yeah. If I just go to the wine bar, I feel less good about that. Yes. But hold on. Another ding, ding, ding, duck, duck is we have so many hanging. Loose ends. Yeah.

That was my resolution. More loose ends. Ding, ding, ding. I'm about to say a resolution. Okay. You just said Street Fighter. Yeah. And that's really sim because I just started a book and I just read that.

I just read Street Fighter in my book. You did? A year, 14 minutes ago. What book? Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. Okay. It's very popular. You love a popular book.

I like reading books that I've heard are renowned. Yeah, yeah. And then you'll be able to chat with other people about who have read it. Exactly. I started it. I love it so far. A resolution I've decided. Remember in the holiday episode, I hadn't really figured it out yet.

Right. But I have one now that I really want to stick to. Okay. I have to either read or write every day. Oh, I love it. It's a great resolution. One or the other has to happen every day. And I don't have to do both, but one or the other has to happen. Reading or writing. Uh-huh. It's fundamental. I love it. Will you do that in the more, I think you have to be a little more specific. I know. Because it won't work. For me, at least, if it's not scheduled at the same time every day, it won't happen.

I know. Well, I started to panic, anxiety, ding, ding, ding, because I was trying to plan out these new mornings. And I was like, I guess I'll start waking up at 630. Oh, boy, that's too ambitious. But go ahead. Exactly. And I'm smart enough to know that's not gonna happen.

Then I push it to seven, then I wake up at seven, and then I have to have lemon water, a tea, and I also wanna start drinking spearmint tea, but I also drink this rest and digest tea at night, and I'm worried this is too much tea. No, your people invented tea, I think. If anyone could pound tea, I think it's you. They invented chai.

Yeah, I just think tea originated there altogether. Here's a fascinating side note. Do you know how many different kinds of tea plants there are? In the world? Yeah. 400,000. There's only a single species of tea. It's all In the world? Yeah. 400,000. There's only a single species of tea. It's all the exact same tea leaf.

What do you mean? It's just cooked to varying different degrees. So it's either browned during the drying and cooking process, or it's left more green, or they add spice. But there's only one species of tea. Isn't that impossible? Yeah, I watched a history of tea on the History Channel one time. I did.

Wait, that's... Isn't that mind-blowing? So if they had chai tea, they had tea. They had the tea. And think about the Anglo-Indian tea trading company. It was all about going to India to get tea. That's why the Brits loved their tea and had to be in India. It's all tea.

If they didn't have that tea, they probably wouldn't have to deal with the Brits. Oh my God. Their curse and their- The tea was their downfall. Blessed, blessed and cursed. Oh my God. Well, because chai actually means tea. Chai actually means tea. I believe that. I believe that. The word is tea. Chai is tea. So it's confusing in the Americas when we say chai tea, because we're saying tea tea. Oh, sure, sure. Or what about tai chi?

That's different. But if you say tai chai chi. Careful, careful. Stop, stop. If we're saying tai chai chi, you're saying tai chi chi. You're allowed to say that because you're East Indian? I mean East Asian, whatever the fuck. Yeah, I'm we're southeast in 2024 we can all agree i'm asian now listen so this book i'm reading i just read a line i want to share with you i thought it was so beautiful oh please

you've memorized it or you're gonna pick up yeah think. I'll probably get it wrong, of course. But it said something like, looking into someone's eyes is the only form of time travel, seeing present and past concurrently. Isn't that nice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's really true. Yeah. Yeah, humans make us time travel.

I'm going to read and write. I wrote a little bit yesterday, which is what made me think I really need to. And are you writing in a notebook by hand? No, computer. That's probably smart because it'll save you this annoying step I'm in the middle of doing. Yeah, I'm not doing what you're doing. Yeah, it's a bad plan.

It's a very bad plan. Yeah, you've written everything by hand and are now trying to convert it. Yes, and I can't to convert it. Yes. And I can't spell and my handwriting sucks. So, you know, it's even for me a beat down to read what I've written at times. Do you think one of the girls could take that on for you? And then that may be a sweet project for them. To edit my memoir?

Well, like they get to read it. Yeah. But no, I don't think i want them to do i don't trust you want the total truth i don't trust them to transcribe it correctly yeah i decided i didn't even trust someone else to transcribe it correctly because my writing's so honk wonky and honky because i'm a honky sure, LaBrie, we want to talk about poor things today. If you haven't seen it, please see it. Yeah.

I would say pause and go watch it, but that's not possible. It's so long. Movies are, okay, can I just, movies are so long again. What's going on? I, well, I have a theory, which, and it was weird way. They're not commerce anymore. It's like, no one thinks they're greenlighting a $30 million movie. That's going to make money. So these ones that slip through the cracks are like mostly auteur driven, like crazy good directors with crazy good talent. It's not going to make money, but fuck it. They do it. I don't, I don't

know. So in that case, it's not the formula. Like when you're making a movie at a studio they are telling you like look 90s perfect and the most we're gonna accept is 120 minutes and you're like you're battling with them and it's yeah it's a science to them but that's not happening when christopher nolan makes a movie he makes whatever fucking version was in his head and same with this chap i guess that's a good theory it's it's so counter to me, though, because we live in a time where attention is at its most scarce. And these movies are so long. All of them. I mean, I'm looking at all the—I watched that Julia Roberts movie.

That was two and a half hours. Poor Things is two and a half hours. Maestro's really long. I just started Salt Burn. It's also a half hours. Poor Things is two and a half hours. Maestro is really long. I just started Salt Burn. It's also over two hours. It's so good, by the way, also. Oh, it is? Uh-huh.

I just watched the trailer last night. I was trying to determine if I thought it looked good or not. It's really good. Oh, good. I'll watch it. Okay. Okay. But the runtime for me is fine, Poor Things.

It's super-duper long, but I wouldn't have wanted them to speed any part up. I agree. Even the parts that felt long were, I think, intentional and they earned you all this stuff by going through it. Yes, I agree. Okay. I want to, of course, know what you thought first. You loved it, right? I loved it. I loved it so much. I think it's the best movie of the year. It is so funny though, because we had Willem on, so I knew the premise. Right. Which is in the trailer, which is, for anyone who's not heard it, it's a woman. Wait, pause if you don't want to hear it, because this is what I'm about to say. I was with four people who didn't know anything. to say, I was with four people who didn't know anything. Right.

Right. And it had a massive impact. Ah, I bet. Them just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with this woman. Yes. Yeah, because you probably, did they just think she was like mentally handicapped the first? Well, exactly. So Anna was next to me and I knew the premise, which we'll say now.

We said in the Willem episode, this kind of Frankenstein character in the early 1900s in London puts a baby's brain in a woman's body, head. She has died, and she was pregnant with a baby, and he took the baby's brain and put it in the mother's head. And now he's raising this 30 plus year old baby. And so the movie starts and she's a baby walking around and I laughed really hard. And they thought you were laughing at a handicapped person. Right. Anna then was like, oh, I felt okay to laugh once you laughed. Cause at first I didn't think I was allowed to laugh. Yeah, right.

If you think you're watching like Helen Keller, you shouldn't be laughing. Oh. Helen Keller is a great movie, but you would never laugh at her. It's a movie? Yeah, she was a real person. Well, I know her as a real person. Yeah, and there's a movie. Okay, anyway.

Okay. Okay, so. So you were free to laugh. All right. But I want to hear your opinion. I knew to laugh. There's this crazy part at the beginning where Willem Dafoe, he's like a Frankenstein character. His father worked on him.

Yes. And it's, oh, that part is heartbreaking. It is. He's so good in it. He's so unbelievably good. Oh, my God. But yeah, he like. So is. He's so good in it. He's so unbelievably good. Oh my god. So is Rami. I was so happy with how good Rami

was. I know! Everyone was... Oh my god. Ruffalo is insane. Revelation. It's hard to say it's his best because he's been brilliant so many fucking times. Fax catcher. I mean, he's so good.

But he hit a zone in this movie that was so hysterical to watch. When he starts losing his shit, oh, my God. Oh, it's so good. Everyone's incredible. Emma Stone is unreal. She's so good in it. She's so free. She's unbelievable in it. Yes. Yeah, it's the performance of a lifetime good in it. She's so free. She's unbelievable in it.

Yes. Yeah, it's the performance of a lifetime hers in that. If she wanted to retire now, she's good. Yeah. Okay, but what did you think of the themes and what did you think were the themes? Because to me, I just was like, I love what's being explored right now.

They toss around a lot of things. I think one major one is a, well, I guess sort of ding, ding, ding what we were just talking about, what you lose as you get older. Yes. Yeah, that was a really impactful thing. It's like, what are the trade-offs of getting more sophisticated and understanding the world around you? Like, what do you lose when you understand the world around you? Like, what do you lose when you understand the world around you? What pains come with it? And you lose some, in a bizarre way, you lose intelligence.

Like, children have a level of understanding that's, again, very pure that we lose. Well, it's not hampered by the layers of culture yet. It's like, however they feel, they feel. That's that. And then that's the truth. There's no guilt. Ultimately. There's no,

the no guilt part was really fascinating. Yeah, like, spoiler, I guess, not really, but when she's learning about her body. I mean,

that has to be talked about in order for me to explore the point I want to explore. But yeah, she discovers masturbation quite early and she thinks

it's the make her happy. The way she calls it is like self-touching, make me happy or something. Yeah, I forget exactly the phrase, but- And she can't believe it. This can be done at all times. You can make yourself happy as many times as you want in a day and she can't get over that. It's so funny. It is. And she's like trying to explain it to this older lady who's obviously unhappy and she's telling her the cure for it. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, so the aging thing was really profound to me

and I'm gonna parallel it with the Anthony Bourdain documentary. I don't think I've ever seen a movie tackle this incredibly complex, weird, paradoxical fantasies men have. So Mark Ruffalo's character is with her at the beginning. Not all men. A lot of men have this fantasy where it's like, you want this creature that's hyper-sexual,

hyper-adventurous, hyper-fun, creature that's hyper sexual hyper adventurous hyper fun and then immediately you will try to control that aspect of her and be threatened by that aspect of her and end up basically destroying this thing you really wanted and then when they proved to be everything you were originally attracted to, you lose your mind. Like this was the Anthony Bourdain story. This is what happened to him as he was with this younger girl that captured this thing for him that he then couldn't stay connected with. And he was getting self-conscious. It was so... That's interesting. Yeah. I found it to be so spot on of this crazy paradox. And I don't know, maybe women have it too in some other version, but there's this kind of, it's the old man with the young woman. It's like, oh, she's so exciting

and sexual and hungry and passionate and playful and adventurous. And now I'm with her and I'm terrified that she'll want more than me. Because what I liked about her is that she wanted everything. Yes. And now I'm going to completely turn myself into this monster trying to squash out that flame. It's pretty fascinating. It can make a man go crazy. And the movie, I thought, just did a incredibly honest job of that. Yes.

That's really smart. I had not thought about that. Yeah, I was wondering because I was obviously as a man, it was so clear to me. Like I could relate to the excitement of meeting this creature. It's really interesting hearing it from that perspective because I did think, you know, I was like, oh my God, men are so ridiculous. Yeah. In my head, what happened is he wanted to use her for sex. He's so much said so, like, you know, for an adventure, for fun. Yeah. He even says like, you're going to want to fall in love with me, but don't, you can't.

He wanted to use her for sex, but because she didn't care, because she didn't fall in love with him, then he fell in love with her. Yep. Totally. Totally. The movie was deeply feminist, which I loved. And I was just thinking how much stuff, because we're watching Gen V, also incredibly feminist. This season of Fargo 5 is like insanely feminist. Really? Yes, and then this movie was insanely feminist.

I definitely think there were white men telling everyone's story for a long time, and that was not great and should be fixed. But at the same time, I'm delighted that someone as talented as this guy is allowed to tell a feminist story because he's got such a incredible world in his mind and i wouldn't want him to be limited to only telling dude stories because he's so fucking masterful and i'm glad because i can see some version of the left saying that wasn't his movie to make. You know.

Because it's just as feminist as Barbie to me. That movie. Yeah. I mean, different. Right? I do think if a man made Barbie... Well, the inclination is to think it wouldn't be as good, right? I mean, I guess that's kind of what I would think immediately. It wouldn't be as authentic. The messages that were being

conveyed were so deeply personal probably to greta and to women yeah but i would argue this thing i just saw was equally as impressive in that way like really understood this insane box we put females in and what role we want them to play and we want them to be a baby and then we also and be dependent on us but we also want them to be a hellcat and the sexiest person in the world but then only towards us and you know just all this crazy but that's the difference it's a feminist movie through a male lens like it's it's it's seeing the folly of men it so i do think it's okay for a man to- But it is her story for sure. She's the vehicle, but the themes, I think you're right in saying there's a lot about

what men do to women or how they are around them. And I think it's great for men to be self-aware enough to be able to tell that. Great movie. Great movie. Great movie. Also, it's weird. Like, it is a weird movie. You should probably know that going in. You should be prepared to work a bit and then by the end go, wow.

Because you have to settle into this insane world that's being presented to you for quite a while. Oh, I loved it. Okay, so your resolution is to read and or write each day. Mine, one just very tangible one is I'm going to quit dipping. I've quit dipping according to our current fib. I'm no longer dipping. Great. And then this one just hit me.

This one's a little, I think this is too ambitious, but it has occurred to me I might want to start learning about Buddhism a bit. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And I'm not sure where that came from, but I just decided, oh, I think I, you know, I know where it came from. Lincoln and I were watching this show called Holiday Light Fight, and it's where people decorate their homes extreme. Oh, fun. And there was this family, which was so cute, in California. And the mom and dad were from, I think, China. And the daughter was like first generation, super American,

you. And the dad is so into decorating the house for Christmas. And he's talking and he's like, you know, I don't believe in this, but we're Buddhists and we can enjoy anything that celebrates life and blah, blah, blah. And the way he was just so happy and he was fucking loving Christmas, but he was a Buddhist and he doesn't believe in any deity. I was like, I'll look into that one. I think that's great. I love that. Ding, ding, ding, circling all the way back to the beginning of this, my anxiety. Okay. I had therapy yesterday. Yeah.

That just reminded me because she was talking about Buddhism a little bit. And I was saying I'm feeling anxious and I'm feeling hints of old anxiety. Old anxiety. Simp. Ding, ding, duck, duck. No, when I have like really bad anxiety and I have panic attacks and all those things and I can feel something happening. And so I was telling her like, I really don't want it to get back to that point. I don't know what's going on. And we came to this conclusion that was sort

of interesting where I think, and I'm only, I'm sharing this because it could be helpful to other people, perhaps. I think my anxiety is there as a protection mechanism in some ways. It comes in when I'm avoiding another feeling. Yeah. I was like, I'm anxious at home a lot. And my mom is driving so slow through this light, this traffic light. And I was like, ah, what are you doing? Yeah. And it was making me so

anxious and then really what we got to was I'm just sad I'm sad that that they're getting older and there are pieces of it that I see and your grandpa's dying exactly yes and it's it's just really it's actually very sad but my brain doesn't let me have that feeling. So it just puts a bunch of fear on top of it instead. Right. That makes sense. Also, it's sad and it's scary. So you start ruminating on these other things that maybe have a solution or that you could control. Yeah, perhaps. Like you can't control people dying. No, or getting older. Let's focus for me on my financial insecurity. Like let's just decide instead that I'm going to be broke and then I can obsess about that and maybe fix that. Yeah. It's just life has a lot

of sadness. It really does. It's like full of it and it's, it's a lot. And so, yeah, I think my brain goes into fear mode instead of sitting with sadness. It would rather sit with fear. I relate to that. Yeah. That was my therapist the other day saying like, you're quite afraid of your own feelings. And definitely that like, yeah, sadness and despair scare me. Like there's no coming back that you could surrender to it. And it would be everlasting if you indulged it. But yeah, it doesn't feel like indulging anxiety is the same risk. It's all very interesting. And then, but it's, it's already helped when in moments where I am feeling it a tiny bit, when I've told myself, there's something else I'm actually feeling. What is that?

Yeah, like focus in on the actual thing you're sad about and allow yourself to feel sad about it. Yes. This is happening because I'm sad about this. Yeah. And then the anxiety goes away because I've just rationalized it away in some way. Like found the answer. So that was good. Last update for me. I watched found the answer. So, that was good. Last update for me, I watched for the very first time.

This is embarrassing. I watched it on the airplane on the way home from Tennessee. It's a Wonderful Life. Have you watched that movie ever? Oh, that. Isn't that a ding, ding, ding, sad movie? In the most joyful movie imaginable at the same time. It makes me not want to see all the Frank Capra movies because it's so incredibly well done.

I haven't seen it. Have you seen it? Okay, I hadn't either, and I didn't like how old it is and that everyone's seen it. And then I finally watched it. And honestly, especially what you're talking about with the TJ Maxx and all the other stuff, I was crying on the airplane at the end of it. Yeah, people cry in that movie. It's a wonderful movie. It's no wonder that it keeps getting played.

It's really great. I think you should watch it. I think for you and I in particular, it's a good movie to see. Really? Yeah, because I think you and I are both very, very goal-oriented. And we have a laundry list of things that will be lovable and likable if we achieve. And then often we miss the very best things we're doing for everyone have nothing to do with that.

Yeah. Well, that's nice. And the sadness, back to the sadness. The sadness is the TJ Maxx of it all. It's not getting. I know, but I'm already feeling, I'm already like. You're already in TJ Maxx land. Yeah, I'm already in TJ Maxx land.

I don't know if I can double down. I understand. I understand. But we'll see. I'll let you know I understand. I understand. But we'll see. I'll let you know. Okay. We do have some facts. Okay.

Yeah. Our first episode for 2024 is Taraji P. Henson. Oh. She was so lovely. She was. She's a firecracker. There we go. And I felt like she was very spiritually evolved.

She also had that superpower you and I are attracted to, which doesn't seem like she was suffering much at the notion that people liked her or didn't like her. We like that a lot, right? We always covet that when we meet people that seemingly are fine with themselves. Yeah. She was really cool. seemingly are fine with themselves. Yeah.

She was really cool. I like that we're opening this year with her because she's very positive, extremely positive, and not without a bunch of hardship, but yeah, just a beautiful person. Okay, but she talked about 10-10, the number 10-10, and we have talked about how I always see 11-11. Yeah, she loves 10-10. She loves 10 talked about how I always see 1111. Yeah, she loves 1010. She loves 1010.

I love 1111. It's all numerology. Okay. Well, you said it's all hooey. I looked it up. No, it's not. It's real. Okay.

Okay. 1010 is what they call an angel number. Okay. what they call an angel number. Okay. Well, 2-2-2-2, 5-5-5, 3-3-3, and 11-11 have spiritual connections, but 10-10 is also an angel number. Ding, ding, ding, it's a wonderful life.

Oh, angels. There's angels, yep. Okay, according to Glamour magazine, angel numbers are thought to offer support and guidance from guardian angels or even the universe, and each angel number has a different meaning. Okay, now that's from Glamour Mag, but now I'm going to go to Allure Mag. Oh, wow, we're hitting all the well-researched. Then we're going to Young Miss after that. We got an article out of YM.

Oh, my God. I bought a really funny vintage book called Women in Fitness or something, and it has this young lady on the front. It's from the 40s about how to keep fit. It's so funny. Okay, I'm going to read some. Okay. Zero, zero, zero, or zero, zero, zero, zero. Zero is associated with new opportunities. When you

witness zero in a sequence, either within a set of three, four, or within a pattern, this could signify a fresh start. You're at the very beginning of a brand new cycle, which means you can create whatever your heart desires. Don't be afraid to make big, bold decisions at this point in your journey. The listener won't appreciate this as much as I do, but I do need to explain that normally I'm looking at you on the couch and your eyes go down to your computer to tell me these facts. I'm in a very weird and privileged position, which is you're also FaceTiming me from your computer. So you're virtually looking into the lens to read to me. Oh my God, weird. Yes. It's a very new experience with the facts.

Oh no, is it like when you sing to me? Well, no, I don't mind this. Are you sure? Do you need to cover your eyes? No, no, no, no. No, I like it. Okay. It's like you've memorized the facts entirely because you're looking me directly in the eyes and reading out loud. It's like a monologue.

Yeah. Okay, 111 or 1111, This is mine. One is a powerful manifestation figure. If you encounter one as an angel number, either within a set of three, four, or within a pattern, relish the opportunity to make a wish, set an intention or plant a seed. And this is believed to indicate a green light from the universe. You are working with extraordinary support from your angels, guides, or ancestors. So at that moment, the present and future are dynamically connected.

Oh, wonderful. And Matthew McConaughey is probably excited about that. Zero, zero, zero, green lights. Green lights. Hello, Mr. Universe. Okay, ready? Yes. Two, two, two, or two, two, two, two.

Two suggests balance, trust, and alignment. Experiencing two in a sequence, either within a set of three, four, or within a pattern, could mean that someone either in the physical realm or spiritual domain is helping you get where you need to go. Seeing twos could indicate that it's an excellent time to reach out to your most trusted companion to see if divine collaboration is possible. Oh, my God. Divine collaboration. Wow. Okay.

Three, three, three, or three, three, three, three. Three is an indication of magnetic creativity. Noticing three as an angel number, either three, four within a pattern, could mean that you have the opportunity to add your unique talents and abilities to a situation. Moreover, the presence of three indicates that by leaning into your innate gifts, you'll find more value and abundance in whatever circumstances you are navigating. Your artistic expression is critical. Imperative. Okay, I'm only going to do one more.

Okay. I'm going to do fours because we're in 2024. And I love fours. Evens. Twos and fours because we're in 2024. And I love fours. Evens. Twos and fours. Four symbolizes stabilization. Observing four as an angel number, either within a set of three, four, or within a pattern. I forgot that was coming.

Yeah. You did? Yeah. Suggest that you are in the process of grounding, rooting, and cultivating an infrastructure that's truly built to last. When interacting with four, don't be afraid to ask for help or assistance. DAX. Especially if you're navigating long-term projects that require specific expertise. Fundamentally, this is about establishing trust that will empower you to reach new heights.

So fundamentally, this is about establishing trust that will empower you to reach new heights. Ooh. You know, I think it's all hogwash, and yet I do love even numbers. And I am delighted that the explanation of four being stability. And two. Because that is the thing I like about it, is it feels like it's not going to tip over. Yeah, and that means this year is going to be really grounded and good and— Stable. Stable.

We love that. Don't need to chew tobacco. There's no reason to do it. You don't need to. So stable. Okay. Actually though, I'm going to do one more because you're turning. I don't like what age I'm turning. I almost want to skip over the age because you know how I do it. I alternate. So last year I focused on the fact that I was 48 in an even number because it was 23 and I hate that year, but I just focused on my birthday. So last year I focused on the fact that I was 48 in an even number. Yeah. Because it was 23 and I hate that year. But I just focused on my birthday. So now I've transitioned perfectly into, now I'm focused on the year and I'm ignoring my birthday. Because nine's not great.

At least it's divisible though, I guess. That's nice. Three times three. Yeah. Actually, it doesn't even make sense for me to read nine because it's not within a set of three, four within a pattern. Right. It doesn't even make sense. Right. It doesn't even make sense. No.

It doesn't apply here. Anyway, I always make wishes on 11-11. Yeah, I want you to keep doing it. I will forever. I happen to be around you quite often on 11-11 because we record at 11 often. Well, yeah, and I just happen to look at it at that time. What if you set an alarm on your phone for 11-11 and in every interview that we started, like 11 minutes in, your phone goes off and then you make a wish out loud? Maybe that could be part of your resolution too.

I do have, on my alarms, I have 11-11 saved. Oh, you do? Wow, you only have two alarms? I deleted all of them and I kept 11-11. Oh, wow. And then I have another one that, you know? Wow, you only have two alarms? I deleted all of them and I kept 1111. Oh, wow. And then I have another one that, you know, changes every day. Yeah, I have 50 or 60. Yeah, it's fun to delete them.

I should. Try it. I will. For your birthday. How are you feeling about your birthday tomorrow? It's tomorrow. Generally, I'm fine with it. You know, I guess inching towards 50s bizarre

but I feel very youthful and athletic and healthy so yeah you are that's who cares I guess more I'm thinking like okay actually this is exactly what the this this birthday signifies to me because I'm so bad at asking for something that I want. So the clock has started. I have a year to think of what I want for my 50th birthday. Because I know that'll be a big thing. Like, well, what do you want to do? And I'll be like, I don't know, go roller skating. And it won't be eventful.

Basically, I have a year and I do want to think of something that's really memorable and fun. Yeah. You know, I think what compounds me getting older, and I'm sure a lot of people who have parents that died really young feel this way. It's always weird when I go, okay, well, I was at my dad's 50th party. I flew back to Michigan and he was old. Like he was having a hard time walking. He was, his breathing was bad. He like, he had heart disease really bad. So that's really weird. Like how differently my 50th party will be than his. But then also you just, I'd be crazy not to go like, wow, and he only had 12 more years.

So I think having a parent that died young is the only part that gets tricky about getting older for me. Or I'm like, I just haven't seen a shepherd go long distance. And I very much want to. Well, you will, and you do things in your life to maximize that chance. I do. That they did not do. For the most part, yes, yes, yeah. Well, which is why I guess dipping is stopping.

Yeah, although I really don't think I would die of it. But yes, but yes, yes. Knock on wood. Come in. Well, I'm excited for your birthday. Thank you. Thank you. And then we have another exciting year ahead of us. Oh, my gosh. It's going to be a good year. I really feel it.

You're feeling it. Oh, good. Good, good, good. I don't have a poll one way or another. I'm not pessimistic about it. I just haven't had a big grip of anything about it. So I'm delighted to hear that it's tracking to be positive. Yeah, it is. Okay, wait, hold on. I think I might have one more fact. Oh, great.

Did Whoopi win an Oscar for The Color Purple 1985? No. It got a lot of nominations, but no wins. No wins. Not Oprah? She got nominated, though. Nominated, but nope. And Whoopi nominated, but nope.

Best Pitcher nominated, but no. It didn't win Best Pitcher. Mm-mm. Wow. But yeah, it got, let's see how many. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten nominations. Oh, can I do one thing just because it's been requested a lot? Yes.

Hermian Permian. Oh, my God. Great. Great question. Exactly. But I'm not sure what he would say. What did he say about the new year? Well, it's 2024 already.

And I guess I just put my head up for one second, looked up, and I thought, wow, I thought it was 2018 still, but that time it'll boogie by on you. Over here, Hermey and Permey, and we're having a real nice little celebration to bring in the new year. Got my friend over. I don't know what a new year is. I am slotted to live for a thousand years.

Oh, yay. This guy's the greatest. He's going to be around for a thousand years. We're just a tiny speck on his long, long arc of history. So try to make it a good spark. That's why I invite him over all the time. Hermium, permium. I hope everybody gets all their wishes come true this year.

Because I know we're living the good life over here in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, USA. Don't need to wish for nothing. Already got it all. Got a good friend here, my friend Robot. Thank you for calling me your friend. He's a good boy. Oh, my God, he said I was a boy.

What? And I was a boy. The robot had his same speech impediment for a second, but it cleaned it up midway. Oh, my God. Oh, I love this friendship. What a beautiful friendship. I've got a whole day of movie watching planned. It's all films with famous robots. Star Wars, CP3PO, R.D. Doodoo.

Then we go straight into Daryl, the boy that was a robot. Shortcut. He loves Shortcut. Oh. I know you don't like Shortcut, Miss Monica, because of its racism. That's right. I know it's not for me, and I find it offensive. I would never put that on if you were at my house, Miss Monica.

What would you play for me? Bend It Like Beckham. That's a celebration of an Indian girl reaching for the stars and touching them. An Indian girl reaching for the stars and touching them. Listen, that's really funny that you brought up Bend It Like Beckham because it's come up a few times recently. Again, Sim, numerology, threes, pattern of threes. Third's a charm. And because— I can't believe all the things it said about three. It didn't say it's the charm. Third's a charm. And because I can't believe all the things it said about three.

It didn't say it's the charm. That was a mistake. That was. You're right. Yeah, Bend It Like a Beckham. It came up and then Rachel, my friend Rachel,

was looking for it. We were on a group text and she said, oh, good news. You can watch it here for free or whatever. And I said, Bend It Like a Beckham

was so triggering for me. Yeah, scary movie. And I said, Bend It Like Beckham was so triggering for me. Yeah, scary movie. And I actually brought this up in therapy because people saw it and then they recognized that I was Indian too and she outed me. Yeah.

That dumb soccer player. Shined a big old light on your brownness. Yep. And no one would have known if it wasn't for her. Nope. And I was doing such a good job and she ruined it. Now, when I was with my mom the other day, she wanted to go into an Indian grocery store.

Oh, right. To get something. And we go in there. As soon as I step foot in that grocery store, I have a visceral reaction. Physiological response. Yes. Like I have to get out of here. I hate it in here.

What if you would have put a hoodie on and stuff to disguise yourself? If I had one, I would have. I had to literally say to myself a few times, you're not seven. Yeah. It's okay to be here. yes yes yes nothing's gonna happen you're not gonna be excluded you're not gonna be hurt yeah isn't that crazy they're deep they're deep as gabor says to us it takes us out of the present and puts us in another time frame like eyes when we're seven. Yeah. Time travel.

Way to wrap it all up. All the loose ends have been knotted. We did it. Happy New Year to everybody. Happy New Year. Happy day before your birthday, Dax Shepard. Thank you.

And we'll see you guys on Thursday. Couple dozen times a week for the next year. All right. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye. Love you.