Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - We are supported by... Reese Witherspoon

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

We Are Supported By, hosted by Kristen Bell and Monica Padman is a 10 episode limited series podcast. Each episode deep dives with a woman who has put a crack in the glass ceiling. Episode 9: Reese Witherspoon Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, well, well, well, well. What's today? Can you believe it? Let me see. Oh, I can believe it, baby. It's Tuesday, August 24th, Day of Our Lord and the day that the Lord gave us. Madonna. Madonna.

We were given Ava DuVernay. Ava DuVernay. We were also given, dare I say more importantly, Monica Lily Padman. Wow. Thank you. It's your birthday. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. I did a lot to earn this.man. Wow. It's your birthday. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I did a lot to earn this. You came here and earth is hard. Earth is hard. Thank you for acknowledging. You've done a good job so far. Thank you. 34 years on this little planet, P-E, planet earth.

I'm happy you're here. Thank you. I mean, I could talk all day about your birthday today, which I probably will, but we have been celebrating. We have. You threw me the best birthday party ever. To be fair, it was a pod party. I don't want everyone to freak out. It was a small pod party, but it was miniature mouse and cookie themed. So if you walked into the house, you would think it was for a six-year-old. A hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. But I did turn 34 think it was for a six-year-old. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep, yep. But I did turn 34 and it was perfect. And you got me cookies from across the land.

It wasn't just like, what's the best snickerdoodle? No, like we had like Cheetos-flavored cookies. It was incredible. Pumpkin pie-flavored cookies, blueberry pancake-flavored cookies. There was all the different types of cookies and All Time, which is one of our favorite restaurants in Los Angeles. Yes, shout out. A shout out. Ashley, who runs All Time, which is one of our favorite restaurants in Los Angeles. Yes, shout out. A shout out.

Ashley, who runs All Time, we're so friendly with because we love her so much. When I had texted her being like, I'm going to need a set of the brown butter cookies for Monica's birthday, she was like, stop the presses. I'm going to take the dough right now and I'm going to make them fresh. So I'm going to need you to pick them up at this exact time. So she wanted you to have them when they were warm. And that's just an example of one of the people that care about you. It's the sweetest. They have like a softness, but a little bit of crunch. That's perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you want. And they taste almost like Heath Bar. They're like brown butter oatmeal is what they are.

I love it. First of all, we'll be honest. We weren't here last week. We missed you and we're sorry. Thank you for waiting for us is what we're supposed to say now. Thank you for waiting for us. Oh, you're right. You're right. Thank you for waiting for us. There was a little, there was a blip, a blip, BTS, but we were a little behind. And so we needed a favor. Yeah. A quickness favor. Because to be fair, this person was very much already at the top of our list. We just kind of assumed like, oh, we'll reach out to her when we need her. You don't want to tell anybody, hey, can I interview you in eight weeks? Nobody wants that request. Well, and I was like, well, we can't even ask. Like, well, she's like with Beyonce. Like, I'm not even going to ask. Although I did ask Beyonce. She has to, let me check my

phone. Hold on. She hasn't called back yet. No, but we were always going to ask her because she is the epitome. She's the top of the mountain. But then we realized we hadn't asked her. And we were like, uh-oh, can we also ask her to do it come tomorrow? Yeah. And I'll be damned. She was like, yeah. What time? 9 a.m. tomorrow?

Sure. I'll make myself available. And she is most likely one of the busiest people on earth. She's running a true, true, true empire. Yes, yes. And she made time for us, which is so flattering and incredible. And was the sweetest and smartest.

Sweetest and smartest. Smartest. Just joy-inducing. And rubber to the road, getting shit done. And her name, if you don't know on Wikipedia, is Laura Jean Reese Witherspoon. That's right. She is an Academy Award winner. That does not come up. No, neither does the Golden Globes or the British Academy Film Award or the SAG Award or the Emmy Award. It doesn't come up that she's one of the highest paid actresses in the world.

Or one of the 100 most influential people in the world. None of that comes up because we had just too much fun chatting. And because truly, those things are like 12th and 13th on the list of reasons we respect her. Yeah. Yes. Because the reality is those labels and accolades and awards have been hung on her neck for the reasons that we speak about in the podcast. There are very, very few people on the planet who put their money where their mouth is like she does, who, which you so eloquently said, looks behind her to see who needs help, who actually says, how can I be of assistance here to move these ideas ahead about women, women of color, people who have been marginalized having opportunities. How can I leverage myself for these people? And man, has she been doing it for a while covertly? It's so

exciting to talk about it. It really is. I hope you guys enjoy it. We had so much fun. Breath of fresh air. Birthday fresh air. Birthday fresh air. We are supported by Reese Witherspoon. We Are Supp supported by is brought to you by Athletic Greens, the most comprehensive daily nutritional beverage we have ever tried. This is a big ding, ding, ding, because I actually just was on Reese Witherspoon's Instagram and she had a picture of her and her husband and he likes Athletic Greens. That doesn't shock me because kind of everybody likes Athletic Greens. I mean, look, we have said it before. It makes you feel different. It just makes you feel brighter. Like you've taken all of your minerals and you can get your kids to drink it. That's

the great part. Because it tastes good. Yeah, it tastes good. Which is nice. 75 items, minerals, and whole food source ingredients, including a multivitamin, multimineral, probiotic, green-supported blend, and more. And whether you're looking for peak performance or just better health or just need more nutrients in your diet, covering your bases with Athletic Greens makes investing in your energy, immunity and gut health each day

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our link today. Simply visit athleticgreens.com slash supported and join health experts, athletes, and health-conscious go-getters around the world who make a daily commitment to their health every day. Again, simply visit athleticgreens.com slash supported and get your free year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs today. Oh, hello. Look at you. Hi. Hi, y'all. First of all, thank you so much.

We have a man in the room warning. Well, as Dax knows, I've been trying to get on the show forever and he's probably pissed that this is the way i got on i had a feeling listen i've not crashed one of these trigger warning there's a male in the room i've not crashed one of these but i had to because i'm an opportunist i love you i've been trying to interview for four years and i'm really glad that you gave it up to these ladies because i found other white men to talk to, and it worked out. Right. Y'all can talk about all the things, and then we'll break it down.

Y'all, I've been listening, and it's so good. I really enjoy it. I mean, Oprah, come on. And then Gloria Steinem. I listened to another one the other day about a woman I can't remember but the economist. Esther Duflo. Brick by brick. Yeah.

Okay. I got to say one last thing before I go, because I'm not going to have this opportunity. I love you. It started with fear. Oh, you're fanboying? This is how he starts his interviews. This is where we start. You need to know my intentions.

I love you. Yeah, it started with fear and i've kept a close eye and what i want to say is i admire you so much as a performer who decided oh i think instead of people calling me and telling me what opportunities are out there i think i'm gonna go create the vision for my life yeah i'm just trying to distinguish it from, this isn't a compliment to you as a woman who did this. This is a compliment, in my opinion, as a performer who made just an incredible statement about how this should all go. And then additionally, the fact that you've opened up the door for my wife to work in her, God knows, let's see, 50s as the lead of

something. My daughters, I thank you. And I'm jealous and have fun. Good to see you, Dax. Oh, and it's Monica's birthday, so do something real, real. Oh my God. What? This was the best gift you could have given showing up today. I can't believe it. Happy birthday. Thank you. We've been celebrating for a couple days. We had a big party this weekend and we obviously got all Minnie Mouse decorations because she is the miniature mouse at a big Minnie Mouse party.

Wait, who's shorter? Me, but barely. Well, barely if you call a couple inches barely. I call it half an inch. I don't know. I know. How tall are you? Five feet and a half inch.

Oh, you're five two. Okay, one and a half. I'm five one and a half, so it's an inch. Shorties, unite. Yeah. How tall are you? I'm five two. Yes. Okay. Okay. See? This A five, one and a half. So it's an inch. Shorties, unite. Yeah. How tall are you? I'm five, too. Yes.

Okay. See, this is why we see eye to eye, guys. Small but mighty is real. Yeah, sincerely. Yeah. And I think it comes from a very practical thing. Tell me if you agree with this, but I have a handful of very strange hangups that I think all come from the fact that I was petite. My bristles go up if

someone calls me sweetie in the grocery store, like the teller, or I do not like anyone holding the door for me. Because to me, it doesn't say kindness or chivalry. What it says to me is, I don't think you can do this by yourself. So whether it's getting out of a car, which on set, I literally go into sets and I tell people like, please tell the team, do not open the door. I will sit there and struggle with the van door no matter how heavy it is because I want to know I can do it by myself. And I think it's because I was petite. Do you have any of those hangups? I think I definitely have like a complex, like being short and feeling like an underdog or misunderstood was something that was really a driving force for me for a lot of my early life. Because I never made the

volleyball team. I never made the basketball team. I never made any sports teams. Except cheerleading. I did. I won't be a cheerleader. Listen, I was a cheerleader. I take so much pride in it. Well, she was also like a flyer, like a crazy. I was a competition. Yes. Competitive cheerleader. Wow. The big time. In fact, guys, we watched Bring It On last night. Someone said like, oh, do you think your daughter's old enough to watch Bring It On? And I was like, absolutely. I got my free range parenting. Like, I'll just explain anything to her. Whoops. Oh-oh. Whoops, you guys. It's not really a probe for an eight-year-old. So much sexual references that not even the type of sexual reference that you could then explain like, oh, well, people have sex. That's what

they're doing now. Or I mean, not that it's being shown on screen, but like, that's what this kiss will lead to. That's why they left the room. But there were just like hyperactive sexual references. Also, lots, lot of that movie's canceled now. Bring it on. Still a good movie, but man, well, that's a lot of movies now are retroactively canceled. Isn't that so interesting? I read this article with Seth Rogen in The Guardian talking about some of his older movies and like, wow, you can't make that one. Oh, wait, you can't make this one. Oh, I couldn't say that. Oh, I shouldn't have done that. My mindset isn't like that's an archaic movie that's canceled. I'll just watch it as one of

my old faves and I'll go, I'm aghast that I didn't notice this was inappropriate. Yeah. Well, it was appropriate at that time. For me, I'm like, oh my God, look how much we've grown and changed. And I kind so triggered by that because I'm like, he's admitting he made a mistake. And some things are irredeemable. There's just no getting around it, of course. But are we telling people they can't make mistakes? I think a little bit might have to do with the fact that it's called canceled. and all these people that are sort of rooting for us to just change the verbiage.

A person who's not getting vaccinated, which we in slang say an anti-vaxxer, to relabel them as vaccine hesitant. Words are so important. And if we say cancel rather than, oh, we made something we should not make and we'll never make certain types of jokes ever again. And it's a real bummer that we didn't realize they were inappropriate when we were making them. And this isn't even like bad words or anything, just like innuendos, just references that over the past 15 years. They're just not cool. Right. Well, and thank goodness the lights are on and most people are paying attention.

But there's still a lot of people who say one thing, but then never work with a female director. We'll walk the walk and say the things, but then you look at the behavior and the behavior is not supportive of inclusivity and expansion and a new set of ideas. It's two parts, right? Like you have to learn it, realize what needs to change. And then there's a second part that's vital, which is you got to make the change. You got to say, I'm going to hire a female in this position or in every position on this project because I know there's one out there and I'm going to do the legwork to find that person to be a part of the change. Yeah. Yeah. Walking the walk means

stepping into a position of deference, a position of going, maybe this isn't the best next movie that I'm dying to do. But gosh, should I help that person get a leg up? Should I open the door for them? Because people in the incumbent power structure has to buy in. And that does mean deferring sometimes. And that's part to me is the next step in this cultural movement. We're all aware there's a lot of awareness and there's a lot of talk. Now it's like, okay, where's the rubber hit the road? Yeah, that's so true. And you are at the vanguard of it. I mean, we won't spend this whole interview fluffing your pillow. Yes,

but I want to because I am so... Girl, you just left my pillow. Okay, here it comes. But only y'all. I am so, so, so in awe of what you have done, in my opinion, silently for women and for inclusion. You aren't virtue signaling. You're not out there being like, I'm doing this. And my bio says ally. It's none of that. No, you're rubber to road. And it takes longer to notice that. But by the time everyone started noticing what you were doing, you had been doing it for

years. When I think about the things that I have been able to do or the comfort level in my lane as a goofy little actress, I have this pillar of someone who's been shoveling the snow in front of me for a while. I just want to say thank you. Well, I mean, look at what y'all have done. And I'm a longtime listener, first time caller here. I appreciate all that. And I really take it. And it means so much to me because I really recognize you both as people who don't just talk. You do. You get in there. You are genuinely curious. You're not armchair doing what you're doing. You are armchair experts, but you're

actually doers and it matters. And it comes through in your work and it comes through in the people that you interview and the questions that you ask. There's a consciousness, I think, of an entire generation of women our age in Hollywood. The wind is at my back and I do get a lot of attention, but gosh, I know so many women who are doing what I'm doing and changing things step-by-step the ways they can with what they have. And it's so inspiring. It is. I think people probably know this by now, but it's important to say that you sold your company for quite a large amount of money, which is so deserved. Big number. Big number. I was like clapping when I read that headline because your company is about telling female stories and not only telling them, but hiring them.

And the work that Hello Sunshine is doing is so inspiring to me. And Monica, you are the antithesis of virtue signaling. You are normalizing. Yes, you're inceptioning all of us. You want to see this sick, awesome show called Morning Show. And then PS, it's all about women. It's almost sneak teaching. That's what we like. We like to just get in there and not be loud about it. We're reiterating all of this because everybody knows who you are and knows your name and knows your career. But I don't think they know the building blocks that you've put in place to get you there and also which building blocks you really have solidified. The people who can notice it

when they really analyze your career, like when Dax read that you had sold your company, he was like reading the newspaper. He was like, what? That's a misprint. And I was like, actually, it's not because it is a multimedia company and it has this leg and this leg and this leg and this leg. And he's like, she's put all that together. I'm like, yeah, but you don't pay attention. I got a lot of guys writing me going, is this true? What is this? And I have to say, first of all, thank you. I do really want to say women have to own more stuff. And I consciously went about this about six, seven years ago going, I'm going to self-fund this company because I want to own this company. Also, artists don't own a lot of stuff. And I wanted to figure out a way to get artists paid, but also to have fun and also to make a cultural impact, create community with social media.

And this sort of convergence of so many things like women dominating social media. We are the great communicators. We are the great marketers. media. We are the great communicators. We are the great marketers. But being able to capture that in this creator economy and funnel money towards women who are writing, who are so talented, the things that make me happy about that announcement, the banking world and the private equity world values something that's about women and women's storytelling in such a huge way. I mean, that's what makes me want to cry. I just wanted to tell stories. And all I ever knew to be in movies was be an actress.

Nobody was encouraging us to be directors or writers because nobody was out there. There was Nora Ephron. There was Nancy Meyers. And then like, I didn't know anybody else, right? Oh, that wasn't possible. I was from Nashville, Tennessee. How was I ever going to do that? Now it's a whole other world. And starting to value women as creators,

being able to tell their own stories and their own voices, I found my purpose. I didn't know what my purpose was. And your purpose changes too, right? You get older and your purpose keeps changing. You have to keep iterating. You have to keep progressing. You have to look at new media and go, wait, is there a place for me to stand in a position of leadership here? Because I've been doing this for 30 years. I actually know a lot of stuff and I really want to be helpful to the next generation of women, to my own generation of women who haven't been well-served by our business. I do think it takes, though, a very, I mean, hopefully it's becoming more ubiquitous,

but it does take a very special leader to be like, okay, it's time for me to actually look behind me and see who's back there and who needs help and who to pull in. Especially as women, it feels really accomplishing to have achieved what you had achieved just on your own. And it's like, I kind of already did the thing that was hard to do. Now to take the next step and do more, it's easy to just not do that step. The road that you're on, it tries to tell you it's one lane all the time. Like you're here by yourself. You're doing it. What's your next step? What's my next step? What do I need to do? What I need to do? And then you get to your destination and you go, oh, I did it. But the whole time you've been almost tricked into thinking it was

on your own. And when you look back, like I think that's one of the things Gloria Steinem said in the beginning, right? Like you got to look behind you. You realize there's all this traffic and you can clear the way and you can make someone's road way easier, A, by just doing it because you're the example, but B, by building another road. And then all of a sudden the traffic is free flowing and you're opening up women's stories. You're opening up jobs, like all this economy for women to be able to do these positions that they might have this talent for. But also there's a nuance to it of like, why can't a woman direct an action movie? Like she's going to put a different spin on it. It doesn't need to be necessarily about what, like women aren't

pigeonholed into just telling our stories about that time we got our period. Women can direct big budget, like a Michael Mann type movie. We one day will have a female that we can reference paralleled with him. Yes, exactly. Exactly. But before she did it, there really wasn't. And by the way, it's a humanity issue. There are two sides to a story. In fact, there are many, many sides to a story because intersectionality is a big, big world. And there are lots of perspectives that are valid, but women can tell a story that is completely, for lack of a better term, masculine and nail it. They just need the opportunities. Yeah, I'm going to go even further and say, I'm going to say it's on these media entities that have existed that if you don't pivot into some mission-based work or real understanding and recognition of cultural shifts, you're going to become obsolete. Definitely. Because consumers are really smart.

Audiences are smart. Moms are smart. Dads are smart. Kids are so smart. The younger generation. Y'all, I mean, I have a 22-year-old daughter. Her and her friends constantly educate me. I'm always in awe of how much they know and literally how much information is coming their way at all moments and how they synthesize it. But I have learned so much from my kids, my adult children. That's awesome. For profit, for good. That has to be the shift. From working in the nonprofit world for so long, there comes this fatiguing element of like asking for money for a cause. And it just, it gets a little draining to both sides. But if the shift culturally was for-profit companies have a for-good stance,

whatever it is, just pick something to have as your passion and your mission statement, along with your for-profit company, the world would turn at a completely different pace. Absolutely. I want to go back to something you said, Kristen, too, about women staying in their lane. That is something that I really experienced when I started this business. And I think it was 2015. I had started a clothing business and Gwyneth was really growing goop and Blake Lively had a business and Jessica Alba had a business and they did a caricature cartoon of all of us. We were in ball gowns and they stuck our heads on and Jessica was holding an iron and I was holding a vacuum cleaner. The whole thing was so gross, offensive that I burst into tears.

Whose grandpa drew that? It was in a massive publication. And I've since been in that publication and they've said, sorry, but I'm not even talking about 10 years ago. I'm talking about 2015 when we decided, okay, we're going to be entrepreneurial. We're going to do something, take a swing, invest our own money, our own time, our reputation, and try and do something that George Clooney has done, Robert De Niro has done, and getting lampooned for it. That message to little girls is, if you've had success in one area, you can't have success in another. Exactly. Don't even try it.

You're lucky that you had success in one area. You should be grateful. Yeah. There's several women who have said, acting's not for me. I don't want to be an actress anymore. I want to do things that are entrepreneurial. I want to have a different kind of life for my family.

And I don't know. I just think it's so limited. Media can be so punishing. And I think it's a great thing that we just have other ways to get information. Now it's wrought with misinformation and all sorts of complications, but there's a lot of good that came out of it too. Also women talking more about art, politics, culture, finance. So important. We are supported by is supported by better help better help kind of comes up in this interview because we talk about therapy And how easy it is to get now, right? That's because of better help. It's because of better help making great Specific therapists available. You can start communicating with someone in under 48 hours.

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It's not self-help. It is professional counseling done securely online. So our podcast is supported by BetterHelp, and our listeners get 10% off their first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com slash supported. Visit betterhelp.com slash supported and join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced BetterHelp professional.

We Are Supported By is brought to you by HelloFresh. We're a foodie house. Big time. And so is WobbyWob. He's a foodie house too. HelloFresh fits in really nicely with that. I know we can order out, but for some reason I feel better when I'm making a meal for my family. But I need some of the legwork done, like the one we made the other night.

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from vegetarian meals and calorie smart choices to extra special gourmet options. So you can really get whatever you are looking for. I will say it's a big win for back to school season because they have easy, delicious recipes that your kids will eat for drama-free dinners. To have my kids come home from school and me make them a meal, it means a lot to me. It's over 30% cheaper than shopping at grocery stores. We love to save a penny if we can. Go to HelloFresh.com slash supported14 and use code supported14 for up to 14 free meals, including free shipping. That's HelloFresh.com slash supported 14 and use code supported 14 for up to 14 free meals,

including free shipping. That's HelloFresh.com slash supported 14 and use code supported 14 for up to 14 free meals, including free shipping. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. We are supported by, is supported by Wondrium. We can't get enough of Wondrium. We're curious birdies. That's exactly right. And if you listen to this, we know you're a curious bird as well. So you'll enjoy Wondrium too. They basically curate everything. That's the cool part about it. It's a streaming service that brings mind-blowing moments into your everyday life.

And if you're familiar with the Great Courses Plus, which you probably are because we've talked about them before, then you know Wondrium. It's the same great service with now even more to learn and love. You can explore literally thousands of hours of fascinating video and audio content like documentaries, which we are personally obsessed with, tutorials, travelogues, just tons of stuff for curious, adventurous people. We know you're going to love Wondrium as much as we do.

Use our special URL so that they know we sent you. Go now to wondrium.com slash supported. And for a limited time, sign up and you'll get a free month trial of unlimited access. That's W-O-N-D-R-I-U-M dot com slash supported. Again, Wondrium.com slash supported. Sign up today. I do have a question for you since you're from Nashville. You're from the South, as am I. Southern hospitality is real. There's so many great things about this, being polite and being sweet and being nice and kind. And how did you overcome that in order to be this like powerhouse? Or did you or did you use that as an asset? I have the overenthusiasm gene and the over-friendly gene. So I would walk into

meetings in LA when I was 16 and I would overwhelm people with my excitement. And I never worried I wasn't enough. I always worry I'm too much for people. So I would tone it down because I can get to 100 really fast. But I needed to learn how to walk that dog because it isn't always appreciated. No, I think people thought I was being fake, but I'm genuinely excited to meet new people and I'm genuinely excited about every project. And now I'm old and tired. But was it hard for you to like stick up for yourself? I think this is everywhere for women. You're told not to do that.

I think it actually helped me growing up in the South because I had a lot of different ideas. And I learned early how to have constructive conversation with people who had a completely different opinion than me. When I was really young, I was more combative. But as I grew older and I met more people and I would see conflict, it didn't feel scary to me to be in conflict with people that I didn't agree with. I knew how to be civil about it. That's what I really like about Brene Brown. There's one book that I always go back to called Braving the Wilderness, which is about communicating with people who do not share your opinions. And that kind of dialogue, I think, is lost in this extreme culture. I think it's really important. And I try to expose my kids. I mean, my kids go to camp in the South. Oh, that's great.

So that they would have an experience, people who grew up completely different, learning different things, saying different things, and how to find the middle. And how not to find those people as a direct threat. The moment you find that they believe in something that you don't, perhaps there's another layer, which I think that this is what we're lacking when we teach people about communication, is that like, why don't you find out why they believe in that? Maybe it's not at all what you think. Maybe it is. Huh? Like, I don't believe in that. That's interesting. What made you believe in that? Like the curiosity is something we've definitely lost and the meeting in the middle. I literally wrote a children's book about that this year called The World Needs More Purple People, trying to realize that both sides sometimes have the same character traits and we can talk about things and we can understand each other. And there has to be a

meeting in the middle. Yeah. One of the best things I got from that book, Braving the Wilderness, was instead of taking people on or needing to be right, being open-minded that you might be wrong. And also Adam Grant's book, Think Again, is really great about that too. Yes. We love Adam. Make room for doubt that you're not right. Why do we all have to be right all the time? I don't want to be right all the time. I don't want to be the smartest person in the room.

I'm not an expert. I'm not a financial analyst. I don't know about foreign policy that much. I am learning every day. But I also thought this was a really good tool that she gives you, which is, oh, that's so interesting. Do you have an article or something that you could share with me? I also thought this was a really good tool that she gives you, which is, oh, that's so interesting. Do you have an article or something that you could share with me? Most people don't have any backup.

But what you're doing is then opening both sides up to doubt. And by the way, the minute you have something like that, that you both share, even if it's doubt of like, huh, I guess I don't have a backup for this. That's real communication. Yeah. I like the idea of purple people too. That's so interesting. There are little bits of the right and a little bits of the left. And I find myself going, well, why does it have to be this or that? I do believe in this, but boy, that seems like a pretty solid idea over here. We need both. We really do need both. We need checks and balances. And I'm sure you guys will co-sign on this. I think we need more women in leadership positions. Well, women tend to look at both sides as like just the maternal instincts we're all built with,

whether you procreate or not. And even if you are not born a cis woman, I'm not leaving anybody out of this. Fathers can have, men can have. But when you have that maternal thing, that mama bear thing, you're looking at it from the point of view of the good for all, making sure everyone's heard. And it's just necessary right now. And taking in emotions, the emotional intelligence element that women bring to the table gets lost among a big group of men. They're like thinking smart men,

especially. It's like, it's so logical. It's all fast math. And there's just the truth of life, which is we're emotional beings and you got to take that into play. Yeah. And I think conflict resolution. I think women are very good at conflict resolution because you have to survive and you have to keep going. And I'm not looking, look, the opposite of a patriarchy is a matriarchy. I'm not looking for that. I do think we really strive for gender balance. Everything in nature is water and air and fire and dirt. We need that balance. And it's been way off, way off for too many, thousands of years. And I think if we can course correct to get to some sort of more balanced world, I mean, I have to think that it's going to be better.

What's my thesis, guys? It was great. A plus. Well, I'm not surprised you went to Stanford based on that. Nice sum up. No, I want to say that because people don't know that. Again, Dax, sorry. Sorry. We've thrown them under the bus twice, but we were talking about your company. And I was like, yeah, she's really fucking smart. She went to Stanford. And he's like, she did? And I was like, yes.

Yes, she did. Don't look at the pretty blonde girl and make all these assumptions. This is what we're fighting against. Anyway, I did want to go back real quick to say that when you said you send your kids to camp in the South, I love that. And there's Dunbar's theory, which is a psychological theory that you can hold 150 people in your brain. And I have this philosophy on life that if you diversify each one of those people, you're going to be much more of an empathetic person because you'll be able to connect when you hear a story about gay rights.

It's like, oh yeah, that's my friend Joe. So of course I want him to have love and I want him to have this and I want him to have this. And the Muslim ban, it's like, oh, that's my friend this. You need to diversify the 150 people you keep in your brain. And the camp is a great way to do that. Yeah. I think that too. I mean, even bringing up Muslim representation in film and television is so off. It's so bizarre. Look at that as just one tiny example of how there's probably not enough Muslim creators inside the Hollywood system to rewrite that story. I'm talking to my brother, who is a really country to see. He's like, sister, some of my best friends are Muslims and they're peacekeeping. And I don't understand

what this representation on film is. And there's just a greater understanding even in our country. And sometimes you think Hollywood's really behind. In some ways, yes. When you look at other industries that are way more advanced in representation, way more advanced in thinking and technology and cultural shifts, you start to go, what is going on? So I think it's really ripe for disruption. I think it's time that we have more female led companies, more start to go, what is going on? So I think it's really ripe for disruption. I think it's time that we have more female-led companies, more people of color running different departments and running studios. But it's really interesting how things are shifting so fast, too. So fast. I couldn't agree more. Just in getting sent scripts, how many are exactly the same

formula? It's because Hollywood, they're selling something. We are all selling something. We are selling you an entertainment story. And it is a trope and it is a formula. All these movies are, it's the Cinderella story. It's the this story. And you can relate it. But we don't have enough entrepreneurial thinking. And like Adam Grant says, don't deja vu think like du ja vu. He like vice versa is the word where it's like not something that you haven't seen before come up, but think first what haven't you seen and make it come up. There's not enough entrepreneurial work in Hollywood because it is a bit stagnant where having newer filmmakers, having these executives take chances with putting money into a project and going, I know you've never seen this type of story before. I know it's outside the formula, but I would like to make it and here's why it will be successful. Right. Yeah. Or they're going to be left behind because here's the other deal. Everybody's going to make their own stuff and self-publish it pretty much in like T minus 10 seconds. Yeah. We're in a self-publishing world. Like look at how much music has shifted to needing less

architecture around management and representation for artists. They're publishing their stuff on TikTok and becoming huge. Yeah. And then they're reverse engineering it and then getting representation. But it's just really interesting. And I will say to young people out there who are listening or whatever, it's so important to know your business. For years and years, I didn't know much about Hollywood. I would just work. I'd come home. I'd take care of my kids. And when I started digging into it, that was when I could problem solve for the parts of it that I didn't understand. Because it all comes from how it's architected. And it's ultimately, as you said, we are selling stories. So how do you re-architect

things and make them financially successful and still commercially viable? And I remember I went to this conference with all these dudes. I was on a panel of people and one gentleman stood up because he hadn't seen Big Little Lies and he hadn't seen Morning Show and he didn't see Wild or whatever. It was fine. But he goes, I love what you say about movies and feminism and female representation. Do you make anything that's just for entertainment? Oh my God. And I was like, you would be shocked how much all these ideas are baked into really commercial concepts. Yes. I'm not here to make boring stuff. I don't want to make boring stuff.

Yeah. I also have the mom test, which is for me and my husband, it's like on a Friday night and the kid has gone to bed or whatever. Do I really want to turn that on? Or do I really want to go to the movie theater to see that? If the answer is no, we don't make it. Because at the end of the day, people's time is more precious than anything. It's not one or the other.

It's not inclusive or entertaining. Why does it have to be that? Exactly. That's what I mean. That's why we can't sleep on just female involvement even behind the scenes. I can't wait for the day that there's an awesome action movie and it's nothing but blood and grits and muscles. And it turns out it's directed by like a petite little very feminine very feminine female. And it's just like, all the men are like, whoa, like that's the kind of shock that we need to convince people.

Like Elizabeth Banks directing Charlie Daniels. She's such a baller. Oh my God. Yeah. She really is. And she just goes. I mean, every time I talk to her, she's in a different place doing a different thing. She's got a game show now. And then she's doing like another giant action movie. Then she's got a whole Pitch Perfect series.

And she's amazing. And women are doing and doing and doing. This generation of women, they inspire me so much to keep pushing and doing more. Never in a time in our lives has there been a shift in education in a time in our lives has there been a shift in education, a shift in work experiences, a shift in even the way you could call a therapist has totally changed telemedicine. And so much behavior changed in a really, really short amount

of time. And I think it's going to take a little while for us to be able to zoom out and kind of look at it in an analytical way, but it's just a great time to innovate. And there's so much opportunity in that shift for women to get ahead and for us to insert ourselves as leaders in spaces that we haven't been before. Yes. I want to bring up one thing that we haven't really talked about very much on this show, but that I think is incredibly relevant to the topic at hand. Because I heard you talking to our deity Oprah on YouTube. I loved your interview with her. It was so great. We didn't have to say anything because she knew exactly what we wanted to hear. By the way, you talk about knowing the business. We tried to prepare all these questions, be like, we are going to be prepared for Oprah. And the look in her eye, the moment this started was, I know exactly what an interview needs. Let me take it from here. I got you. I got you. We asked maybe four questions over the course of an hour and 15

minutes because she knew what she was supposed to talk about for this content, for this story. She was like, girls, I got you. I know what felt so safe. Don't worry. Talk about knowing your business. Yeah. She's amazing. She knows how to pepper in realness. Like she can talk about food she likes to eat and then international politics and the importance of educating young. I mean, it's just crazy. Let me tell you a dumb, funny Oprah story because you're going to need this. Yes. So Mindy Kaling and I were on Wrinkle in Time and Oprah, we play these three mystical beings together in Ava DuVernay's movie, Wrinkle in Time. And so I thought, okay, of course, Oprah is going to have her own makeup trailer.

And no, Oprah got ready in the makeup trailer with me and Mindy everywhere. no Oprah got ready in the makeup trailer with me and Mindy every morning first of all Mindy and I've known each other forever and we're like oh my god holy shit we're gonna be sitting over for like two and three hours every morning what the fuck are we gonna talk about and I remember y'all we started turning on music and we were like dancing it was like what are you listening to? We're like, you know, like Motown or something. She's like, I normally don't listen to music in the morning. I used to like to be with my thoughts.

And we're like, oh, do you want to turn it off? She's like, no, it's okay. I'm kind of enjoying it. Oh. And then day two, I came in and I was like, Mindy, did you see J-Lo in her workout outfit? My God, her butt looks so good. I was like, twins. And Mindy's like, I know.

J-Lo literally doesn't ever fail to impress me. And Oprah's like, what are you guys talking about? And I was like, J-Lo's butt? I was talking to J-Lo and she goes, oh, okay. She goes, yeah, yeah. And I go, well, what are you doing? And she goes, I was texting with Deepak Chopra. Oh my God.

Oh my God. That is amazing. I was like, oh, really? And she's like, I'm texting with Deepak Chopra. He says, Carmen never loses an address. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. But you know what? Look, this is a perfect example of ideas don't have to be mutually exclusive. You can hold two things in your head and your heart at one time. You can like love and be dancing to

Beyonce or Bruno Mars and also be worried about what's happening in Afghanistan. You do not have to be one thing. That's very true. I think it's important to celebrate what you like and cheer for the people that you love and be a fan and enjoy life because, gosh, life is hard, man. We've talked about a lot of like heavy stuff, but like life is hard. Yeah. Eat the cupcakes. Have fun. Yeah. Talk about JLo's butt. Be impressed. Talk to JLo's butt. I mean, that's, she looks really good. It's unbelievable. It's otherworldly.

And we're all just trying to scramble to figure out how she's doing it. Whose essence is she drinking? Because it is so phenomenal that her number, her age, from what I understand, it's going up like the rest of ours is. But is that's not the visual that we're getting. I think she takes really good care of herself. Yeah. And I think her dancing career also helped a ton.

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So get excited for the hottest new reality show and don't miss X-Rated. Every episode is streaming now only on Peacock. Sign up for PeacockTV.com to get started. Okay, I'm glad we had that light moment because I am about to take it to a darker place. You were talking to Oprah and you and Mindy both actually, who I just I love Mindy so much. She's my hero. She's done so much for me as like an idol. But Oprah asked you guys about a moment where you had to come into your own or fulfill your destiny. And you said it was coming out of an abusive relationship. Yeah. I was like, gosh, we haven't talked about that on here, but I don't know a woman

who hasn't at least tangentially experienced some kind of abuse, physical, emotional, mental. Yeah. We didn't talk about one in three women experienced domestic violence, but there's so many other levels of abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse. It's a real thing. I was really proud of the work that we did in Big Little Lies to talk about this woman who was very upwardly mobile. She was very elegant. She presented so well. And she didn't even tell her best friends that she was in this very weird, sexual, abusive relationship. And it was a cycle that she just couldn't get out of.

I think it did a lot to just open up that conversation. It is so complex, these dynamics, especially the psychological ones, because there are cycles and at some portion of the cycle, things are really good. So when you're at the bottom of the cycle, it feels like kind of impossible to get out because you also have this good portion hanging over. Like it is confusing. Yeah. And I want to be supportive to anybody out there who's in the middle of this. There is help for you. There are so many resources and literally you are not alone. I promise you, if you tell somebody, they're going to say, I had something like that happen

to me too. How can I give you support? You can come stay with me or live. I've had girlfriends come live with me because they did not feel safe. And just knowing that there's no shame, right? There's so much shame that people put on people. And even if you have children and we have to do more to help each other break these really bad cycles. If you can break it for yourself,

you're going to break it for somebody else and you're going to really be able to help and heal someone. And we have to keep talking about it. It has to be brought up in even more places because the psychological aspect in particular, it is not like a black eye where you can see it and nine out of 10 dentists will tell you that's a black eye and that shouldn't have happened to you. You know what I mean? Like if it's gaslighting, you will be going to sleep in your head going, what did I do to contribute to this situation? Because you can't make them tactile, those little emotional vignettes you have in your life. You can't make them into one black eye where someone could see it and you could

get help. So organizing emotions, plus when you're tangled and you're experiencing any form of trauma or PTSD, your brain is not firing correctly. So continually talking about it, somebody may hear one little nugget that allows them to seek help or say to their partner, I'm not going to participate in this type of relationship anymore. Right. And I think to really have open communication about every single aspect of your life before you get into relationships, money is something that women do not discuss enough. And I have had several friends who experienced being controlled by not being the bride winner, by being the stay atat-home mom or the woman who didn't have a big enough career to stay in it. So during this chaotic time during the pandemic, had to walk away from work and now they're in a backseat position and can't seem to get what they need out of the relationship financially. It's so important that you're having this really open conversation. This is the other issue. Why do

we not place more value on the raising of children? It drives me up a wall. Why is there not a quantifiable amount of money for caregivers, children, and the elderly? If you're caring for someone's parent inside your home or a differently abled child, why is there no value for that? It makes me crazy. You are 100% right. But that's the other thing we need to start screaming from the rooftop. This is important. This is important. Pass some laws. Let's talk about it. Figuring out what for profit for good stuff can be a part of this. Like I just did this podcast called No One Is Coming to Save Us about the craziness of the child care system and how people who killed the

original child care laws were men in government who were only allowed to be in government because their wives were taking care of their kids. It's unbelievable. It makes me crazy. And if those people get divorced, somehow the women financially don't benefit from it, but they had the most noble job, which was to raise healthy, strong, mentally well, community thoughtful kids. To grow a great human is nearly impossible. And we put no value on that. And it's just, again, if women had more leadership positions, things would really change. We'd have better parental leave policies too. That's something that's really being discussed right now and could actually be a reality. We need more support for

people who have to leave their jobs to take care of their children. Especially the first 12 weeks. I can't remember my phone number. No, we're peeing our pants. We're not remembering our phone number. You're completely sleepless. I'll relate this back to social media. There are a lot of dad zones on the internet now that are making it awesome. Like this dumb dad pod that Monica knows that I'm completely obsessed with. On TikTok, every single video is so hilarious about parenting. But there's all these dad zones that you can go and be like, oh yeah, dads, I guess they do raise the kids too. But like parental leave, the mom and the dad having leave, because the reality is it doesn't stop at just the mom getting her 12 weeks off. Go ahead and give the parents. There's

two people to make a baby for a reason. Because babies are difficult. They're very, very loud. Yeah. They're loud. They don't listen. Very difficult human beings. You need so much support. And I did not have a lot of support with my first baby. And I learned really early, like, this is not going to work. I tried to muscle through for five months with Ava, just not sleeping. And I just became delirious. I couldn't have worked if I had to. And I was lucky enough to have money saved that I didn't have to work. But it's just not a one-person job. I would even say it's not a two-person job. Yeah, exactly. It's a support system. And I actually want to stop to give a shout out.

We're talking about this in the realm of women who did have a savings account when they started having children. And that is not true for 99.9% of people. But if you are a woman who is doing okay, and you're listening to this problem, and you're thinking, how can I get something actionable out of this? There's a great group in LA called Alliance of Moms. Alliance of Moms works with the Alliance for Children's Rights. It's like a leg of it. And it is a group of about probably 150 of us volunteer moms. And throughout Los Angeles, all of the women or men in foster care that were teenagers when they had babies, we sort of become their support system. So there's driving them to doctor's appointments. There's like a camp once a year where they get to talk to a sleeping specialist and a

reading specialist and a La Leche nurse about all of these things about how to raise their kids because the staggering number of kids that are born in the foster care system to teenage foster mothers will just absolutely end up back in the foster care system. There are volunteer opportunities if you wanted to be the support system for someone who is having a harder time in your community 100%. I just challenge you to take five minutes to Google who is helping be a support system for young families that don't have a savings account, that might need a meal taken to them, that might need to be driven somewhere once in a while. If we really work together, we can make practical change for a

lot of these parents. I think that's very well said. And I love you and I love your huge heart and I love your activist spirit and everything that you do to help women. And we have to, the more we help each other, it's going to get better and better, but there's organizations everywhere. I mean, I look back at going to church every Sunday and there was always an opportunity to give back and be in service of others. And it's Ava DuVernay's birthday. And I just want to say like one of my favorite quotes. And it's also Monica's birthday. And Madonna and Dave Chappelle. Oh my God.

What a day. So many great people for today. But one of my favorite things she says, if your dreams only include yourself, then you're not dreaming big enough. That's the low back tattoo. That is perfect. Every episode I try to pick a low back tattoo,

I'm just going to have a bunch of words on the top of my butt by the end of this. That's probably going to be it. On your Netflix show Shine On, you had pink on. Yeah. And you guys talked a lot about this phenomena that happens to young girls where they feel like they have to be stupid to be appealing and how badly we need to combat that. It was a 90s thing about women who were pretending to be stupid. It was like hot. Dumbing yourself down was attractive or something. Yeah. And then when people got really sort of applauded for that and it really bothered me mainly because my grandmother was this woman who was so smart and so well-read.

And she just had almost no opportunities to expand herself. And she was a schoolteacher, but she wanted to be so much more. And where she grew up and the experiences she had were very limiting. And I think, God, as American women, we have so many opportunities. And you just think about anything that's going on in other countries and how women have no opportunity for education or higher education or employment or just civil rights. And it's just another way we can diminish women if they pretend they're stupid or promote that ignorance. And it just drove me crazy as a young woman, because I would

say, oh, we're just making strides. All these women fought so hard for us to have these rights. Don't take us back. Please, please. We've worked so hard to get here. We have to keep rising. It's so interesting. Oh my God. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. There's no other way to articulate it, how much we love you and how much you mean to us and so many other women and so many other people in this industry, because the force is not just the fact that you are a female. It is that you are a mogul and you are a storyteller and everything you do is touched with this level of goodness that we are all so grateful for. Thank you. And I just really hope you guys continue to do this. It is such a joy to listen to y'all. Thank you. And I wanted to start the whole thing by saying, are you guys doing this?

Are we doing this? Are we doing it? Well, yes. I mean, we're all so busy. This one has like six movies coming up in a row. So we're going to do it in sections. But yeah, but I think yeah, little little pod like sections where we get a nice group together and we'll be a little bit more organized the next time we do it. It's important for us to have an inclusive group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So a lot of voices represented. We wanted to represent different colors and different backgrounds and different professions. Yeah. So hopefully we will continue to do pods of 10 somewhere throughout the year. Amazing. Well, thank you for having me. It's been so fun talking to y'all and just keep going. I love listening. Thank you. You're a dream. Thank you. All right, you guys have a good one. God

bless you, girl. Thank you. And happy birthday. Thank you. I hope you're doing something fun. Girls' dinner, baby. Bye.