Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 10 - TRINITY ST. CLAIR

Episode Date: December 17, 2019

Artie & Mike interview adult film actress Trinity St. Clair   Presented by TheComicsGym.com.   Sponsored by:   MyBookie.ag - to go http://bit.ly/MYB-Artie and use code Artie to get a 50% signup bonus   BlueChew - go to BlueChew.com and use code Artie to try it for FREE!

Hey! Artie Lang's Halfway House on the air. And it's me and Mike Boschetti, guys. Everyone's very excited in the broadcasting community for me and Mike, our own show. We're's very excited in the broadcasting community for me and Mike. Our own show. We're going to win an Emmy. Oh, wait.

Do you get an Emmy for this? No. I don't think. Well, we're on YouTube, but everybody and their fucking mother's on YouTube. We'll get a Webby. I think that's what it's called. My mailman's on YouTube. I said to my mailman, I got a podcast.

He goes, so do I. He's on YouTube, too. Is your mailman a wise ass? Mine is. Yeah, he's a baby. Well, not a total wise ass. A nice guy. But, yeah. I YouTube, too. Is your man one of the wise-ass? Yeah, well, not a total wise-ass. A nice guy, but yeah. I mean, everybody.

The guards in jail. I used to get my own cell because I was on the Howard Stern show. And now they gave me a cellmate this last time. And I said, well, I have a podcast. And the guard's like, well, so do I. The guard has a fucking podcast. He's allowed to? I mean, they have these podcast awards, but I don't think we're going to be recognized.

No, I think we will. The iHeartRadio podcast awards. My man went to watch this. You know what happened? He had to take a crap one day. He was banging on my door. Yeah. He said to my brother, can I use to take a crap here?

My brother broke his board. He goes, we're out of toilet paper. So you know what he said? I wiped my ass with some of the mail that some people don't like in his block. Oh, my God. Well, that's a federal offense. You can't wipe your ass with the mail. He would, though. He would. Did he wipe my ass with some of the mail or some people don't like it. It's blocked. Oh, my God. Well, that's a federal offense. You can't wipe your ass with the mail. He would, though.

He would. Did he wipe your ass? He wiped his ass with your phone, Bill? He said that he would. Is that a true story? Yes. No, it's not. Yes, it is not.

You're trying to be funny for the show. No, no, no. It's the real deal. He came in one day to my brother. He goes, I got to take a dump. Can I use your bathroom? What year was this? 1964?

Oh, no. What year was this? Probably like 95 or 96. And he said, well, you wouldn't let the guy take a shit? No, we did. We let him come in. He goes like this. He had to take his bag with him.

He goes, nobody's allowed to touch my mail. So my brother broke his balls. He goes, we're out of toilet paper. He goes, that's okay. I want my ass with the mail. He goes, there's some people that don't like it in Israel anyway. That's what he said. Yeah, well, listen.

I mean, maybe you could use this old Sears catalog. Mailman got it easy these days, bro. Everything's online. They don't have to carry those TV guides or the Sears guides or any of that fucking shit. They still have dogs that want to go after them and bite them, though, I'm sure. Yeah, well, I mean, and Staten Island's probably still like 1968. Oh, it is. Is that guy still around, the same mailman?

No, he retired. Because I don't like people to begin with. Do you think people like you? I'd be tearing mail up down the street if I was a mailman. Well, that's a lot of exercise, dude, to be a mailman. I don't think you can handle it. We were just talking about robots taking people's jobs. You said you went to Stop and Shop and you saw

a robot just walking around? I was like, that idiot took my job. I used to clean the front end. You called the robot an idiot? I said, he took my job at other people's work. Do you think that robot looks at you and goes, I took that idiot's job? He's probably happy you took my job. Did you ever see the old McDonald's commercial where it's a retarded kid, a kid with Down Syndrome working the fryer, and then it's like a kid who's not retarded and has the

same job as the retarded guy? It's horrible. And the kid's pissed off because he's got the same job. Like a retarded guy can do his job. That's pretty accurate because I used to push shopping carts in bed walks. You were a shopping cart guy? That's the quintessential retard job. No, but it didn't start out.

That's the job if you're retarded. That's like you're president of the United States. It didn't start out retarded. It started out good, actually. I got hired to work in the meat department. Right. And you got downgraded to shopping cart guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't like when retarded guys work at fast food restaurants because I just feel they drool a lot. Don't you think they drool a lot? Yeah, but it gets covered by the meat. I mean, they cook it, you know? So you're okay with a retard drooling into the meat and then cooking it away? Why not, you know? No, I don't like that. Give them a little happiness. Like a kid, like the one kid has Down syndrome.

Like the kids with the Down syndrome, you know, I hope, I want them to be fine. You know. He might own a place one day. Well, that would really be amazing. That would be a lot of progress for retarded people, but they got that big lower lip, like a lot of guys, you know. They always think I'm one of them when they see me. A lot of the m retarded people. But they got that big lower lip. Like a lot of guys, you know.

They always think I'm one of them when they see me. A lot of the monglers. And it's just kind of earthy. I saw one at the Port Authority once at some pizzeria in like 1985. I was waiting for a bus to go home. Me and my buddy Mike Horton from Jersey. Big, tall, black kid. Looked like Randall Cunningham.

Oh, God. We used to get pussy because we used to tell chicks at like clubs in Staten Island, actually. Club Quintessence in Staten Island. Oh, God. Don clubs in Staten Island, actually. Club Quintessence in Staten Island. Oh, God. Donnie Broscoville. Do you remember Club Quintessence? It's by the Fireside Bridge in that area. Yeah, we went there to see Stacey Q and Lisa G sing live. That place was insane. Yeah, and

we were waiting at the Port Authority for a bus once, and this retarded guy had his big, like, lower lip. It was out like this. Oh, God. It was racist cartoons. Oh, like one of your tribes? The black guys have huge lips. Tribes from Africa have those? Yeah, like, big, like, lower lip. It was out like this, like one of those racist cartoons where the black guys have huge lips. Tribes from Africa have those. Yeah, like Australia, like the plate and the lip. You look and you got a plate and his lip.

And he was just drooling. He drooled all over the fucking table. All those women tribes that have like 20 braces on their neck look like a ring toss game. Yeah. Yeah, like they've got those rolls on the back of their neck. Well, that's their custom.

It's culture, I think. No, but I mean, that's just fat. That's not a custom. I thought it was their culture, really, to look like that. Well, you know, carrying the big water shit on their head and everything. I don't trust it. I'd rather have you. What do you think they were telling you when they gave you the card job?

Well, here's what happened. I applied for a job to be a butcher in the path mark. I wanted to be a butcher by one time. Like Sam the Butcher on the Brady Bunch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, just because you like being around meat. Well, I started people who I was a porter in the meat department, right? Now, I'm not exactly Felix Unger when it comes to cleaning stuff, right?

You're not exactly Oscar Madison when it comes to cleanliness. Well, I was Oscar. It's safe to say you're grotesque. Here's what happened, right? You're not exactly Oscar Madison when it comes to cleanliness. Well, I was Oscar. It's safe to say you're grotesque. Here's what happened, right? They decided to let me go after a month of working. It took you a month to get fired? I think that's actually pretty good. I was going to predict 30 seconds.

No, because this was the boss that deals with this. Some people aren't cut out for this job, and some are better than others. Well, that was nice. So then what did he say? We want to keep you? We got our eye on a nice head of the department of shopping carts? Here's what happened.

He brought me upstairs, and my boss's name was Tony Santarpia. That was his real name, I think. Tony Santarpia? Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ. That's a name that's only in Staten Island. No, no. Like, Matty Malone is only in Boston.

Tony Santarpia. Good guy, right? Santarpia. He brought me upstairs. He goes, hey, Tony Santarpia. No, but this What's his name? Santopia. Good guy, right? He brought me upstairs. He goes, Hey, Tony Santopia! No, but this is how Staten Island this was. He goes like this. He goes like this. He goes, You weren't doing well there, but we're going to keep you here because of a couple reasons. You're a nice guy who works hard, and your name ends with a vowel

like mine. That means you always work here. So it was like some eye-tie nepotism going on. Yeah, and he goes, We have a perfect position for you. You're well qualified for it, right? Yeah. So heism going on. Yeah, and he goes, we have a perfect position for you, well-qualified for, right? Yeah. So he was following me this way. And there's this guy named Johnny Beggs. That was his real name.

He was handicapped. He goes, you're going to be under Johnny from now on, right? So Johnny Beggs, the handicapped guy, was your boss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was mentally handicapped? Yes. Right. So you were working underneath a retard.

So how do you feel as a human being when someone says to you? Because you don't consider yourself retarded, right? No, but he goes like this. But how do you feel? He goes like this. I am the boss, and I tell you what to do, Patty. I'm like, whoa. What is that, an Irish bro?

No, no. Just the way he talks. That's how you talk. So how do you feel, Mike, as a human being when someone says, it's not working out in the butcher department. We're going to make a retard your boss. Like boss retard. No, he...

So what was he, a mongoloid or something? No, he just... He just wasn't all there? No, he might have had, they call it Asperger or like... Asperger. Maybe spectrum. I don't know the whole story. He was on the spectrum.

But he was like the Rain Man, like sharp like that. Well, Rain Man was also very smart. He was, certain things. So you're saying Johnny Baggs was good with figures? Maybe autistic, he was with certain things. Yeah, but no, but usually autistic people, they can't, you know, they... Well, there's different levels of it. They get tapped by Google or create a phone.

No, but there's different levels of it. There's some high-functioning autistic people and some that can't even like... Yeah, it doesn't sound like Johnny Baggs had the... He had the idiot, not the savant. Yeah, he was an idiot, but there's some high-functioning autistic people in the summer that can't even lay condoms. It doesn't sound like Johnny Baggs had the idiot, not the savant. Yeah, he was an idiot, but not a savant. How does that feel? What were his orders to you? Did you get there in the morning? He gave me a speech about this. I am the boss

of the outside world. He's like a fucking retard Nazi. How long did you last there? About a year and a. And how long did you last there? About a year and a half. Did he fire you? No, I decided to leave him alone. I couldn't take Johnny's nonsense anymore.

I don't blame you, dude. I don't think I can work for a retard guy. But then he put me inside the work inside. Oh, yeah? I got promoted. I was on the front end for a while. The front end of a horse? No, not the front end.

Part of the cashiers. It was annoying, though. So you worked on the cash so you got promoted to where you're doing math? No. Oh, you were like a bag guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were bagging and stuff. So was Johnny Bags upset that you moved on in the world? He was kind of happy I left, I think. So, I mean, I just don't know how it'd feel

like if they said, listen, it's not working out in your position with normal people, so we're going to make a retarded guy your boss. But to meet the pump was fun. They were good guys. Yeah. There was this guy, Johnny, that worked there, right? He definitely... Not Johnny Baggs.

Johnny Meat. No, the Meat guy was just like this big, huge guy, right? Right. And... They usually are. No, but listen to this. When I went to them, they had the Meat Union guys, right? Yeah.

They were all wise guys. The Butchers Union. The Meat Union. Oh, yeah. Sure, well, every union was. This was like 30 years ago? Every union, man. You got to pay dues, bro. Oh, yeah. And Johnny was wise guys. The butcher's union. The meat union. This is like 30 years ago. Every union, man. You gotta pay dues, bro. And Johnny was like that kind of guy.

He goes like this, how'd you like to make some real money? What's real money? Like $3 an hour? No, no, he goes like this. My father has a business where we just... This is how he explained it. Can you help me collect money and beat people up if necessary? Okay, so he was subtle about it. Yeah, very subtle, Can you help me collect money and beat people up if necessary? Okay, so he was subtle about it.

Yeah, very subtle, right? He said collect money and beat people up? Beat people up with us. He goes like this. But collect money is just implied. He goes, if they can't pay, you have to do some stuff with us. What did you say? I go, how much is it to pay?

Well, how much is it to pay? I'm sure more than a bag of donuts. This is what he says. It pays well, but he goes, but I can't guarantee your safety. Oh, well, I mean, listen, in a job like that, it's hard to guarantee safety. If you're collecting for the mafia. I said, can you guarantee my safety? He goes, no.

What, did you expect some sort of, like, you know, health care program or something? I thought I was going to be Michael Corleone after working for a few weeks. Listen, I want you to collect with me for a bookie. I can't guarantee your safety. That's the one thing. Did you expect your safety to be guaranteed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it would be my friend.

So what did you say? I go, thank you, but no thank you. That was a smart move, I think, Mike, because you'd be under indictment right now. No, but the thing is, he was a cool guy. Instead of under that shirt. Really nice guy. Yeah. Well, I mean, it doesn't sound like he was the greatest guy.

He's collecting probably for loan sharks and shylocks. Well, someday somebody picked on me at work. He grabbed him by the collar. You know what he said? I'll fucking hang you in the meat rack here. Well, yeah, he sounds like a nice guy. Yeah, he does. Well, because he picked on you.

Someone picked on you. Someone picked on me. He grabbed him. Would he protect all the retards? No, he grabbed me. He goes like this. I'll fucking murder you on a meat rack right now. Maybe he had a soft spot for retards.

So whatever happened to these guys? He sounds like a great bunch of guys you might want to have a reunion with. What happened? Johnny died of a heart attack. Johnny Bags? Oh, no. The other Johnny died of something really bad. Which Johnny?

The meat guy died of a major heart attack. Johnny Meats died of a heart attack. Well, that makes sense. He's eating a lot of meat. But he cooked a lot of fatty foods. He was having an operation on his nose. Johnny Bags. Right.

I need that, actually. He died on the operating table. Well, fuck it. Now I'm not getting my nose operated on. That's a horrible story. The retarded guy wanted a nose job? Who was he? Nobody had some kind of...

Who was he? Heather Locklear? Nobody had some kind of... Who was he, Heather Locklear? Nobody had some kind of thing going on. I forgot what it was. A retarded septum? Died under anesthesia. People died on the table. No kidding.

Wow. You can. I'm sure. Was it like... They couldn't bring him back. This is what happened. Was it a cosmetic surgery? Was it a...

I don't know. I mean, was he breathing properly? Because that's the only reason I think a retarded guy who... He had a nose problem. He sounded... I mean, if you're a retarded guy who does the carts at a supermarket, you know, you don't need a dainty nose. I mean, unless you're having breathing issues.

He's got a vein. It sounds like he's very vain. I mean, a guy with Asperger's, he's got a disease with the words ass and burger in it. I mean, guys like that don't say, oh he's got a disease with the words ass and burger in it. I mean, guys like that don't say, oh, wow, I think I need a nose job. We went to a party, a Christmas party. If there's one thing I wish there was tape of, the birth of Christ, the crucifixion, you know, whatever happened with Jimmy Hoffa, I don't care if any of that's on tape.

I would love to have the Christmas party with you and Johnny Bags on tape. There was a hot chick there, a young girl. He goes, go get her. You know what they call a young girl at a retarded Christmas party? Hostage. She was hot. Was she really hot? She was hot.

He goes, go get her. That's what he said. What are we fucking like? Well, I mean, if he's got ass burgers, I mean, he's not thinking properly. He goes, go get her. If you don't get her, I will. Well, it sounds like he was about to get a nose job, but he was on his high horse.

How old was he when he died on the nose job table? Probably like in his 50s or more. Wow. So he goes that whole life with the ugly nose and he figures, I'm not getting enough pussy. He's like, I'm not getting enough pussy at the fucking, at the cart fucking rack

at ShopRite in Staten Island, and he goes, I'm going to get another job, and I'll start getting pussy like, you know. There was another guy that worked there named Jose that was kind of a little slow, right? This ex-Marie wanted to rip his face off one day. Was he retarded or just Hispanic? He was both.

Oh, okay. Boy, that's a double whammy. Could you imagine being retarded and Hispanic? No, good guy, but this ex-Marine wanted to rip his face off one day in there. Yeah. Yeah, what happened? There was this guy who used to come in all the time. No, speak of the English?

No, no, what happened was this guy used to come in all the time, right? He was a Vietnam vet, but he was still in great shape, right? A Marine. A former Marine, right? We've told people before, you're a gravy seal. He was a Navy seal. He was a real fucking combat, all that stuff, right? Right. He used to bring his kids in, right? A Marine. A former Marine, right? We've told people before, you're a gravy seal. He was a Navy seal. Well, he was a real fucking combat, all that stuff, right? Right. He used to bring his kids in, right?

Yeah. And one day, Jose had a fight with one of his kids. Jose? Really? And the Marine comes in, he goes like this, where's that fucking dickweed? He came in like that, he goes, I'm gonna... How dickweed do you? He goes, I'm gonna fucking rip his skull off. No kidding. He goes, where is he? Find me him. I go, I don't know where he is.

Find me him? Was this a Shakespearean play? Were you doing the Hispanic Shoprite Hamlet? He goes, find me him. I go, he may have a few things. Find me Jose. I go, I don't know where he is. He goes, where is that fucking imbecile?

I'm going to fucking bury him here. Imbecile? Whoa. It was just Moe and Larry, too. It was the Three Stooges. Where is that imbecile? That's what it sounds like, a Three Stooges episode. No, I'm like, whoa. It was just Moe and Larry, too. It was the Three Stooges. Where is that imbecile? That's what it sounds like, a Three Stooges episode. No, I love that, though.

So you had Jose, the Hispanic retarded guy. You had Johnny Baggs, the Asperger's who had a nose issue. Myself. Yourself. A couple of Greedos who worked that up. And Tony Stampinata. Now, what happened to Tony? I don't know.

Oh, Santopi? No, he retired, I think. Is he still around? His brother's a good guy, Paul I don't know. Oh, Santarpia? No, he retired, I think. Is he still around? His brother's a good guy, Paul, that I know. Yeah, Paulie Santarpia. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Paulie I like. Tony Santarpia's a bit of a pain in the ass.

But, well, that is just, again, the story is, I mean, so for a month and a half you lasted there. I worked at Pathmark for a couple years. I hated it. Oh, two years. Oh, Pathmark. That company's out of business, I think. Yeah, they went under. Too many retards.

Too many psychos there. Yeah. Well, they probably had retarded guys in the accounting office. That's the problem. Or Hispanics. Or just bad people. I think that sounds like, you know, that you guys need to have a reunion. What was this, early 80s?

From 1988 to 1991, I worked there. Those were the golden years for Pathmark. 88 to 91. A lot of young girls went missing from the parking lot with Johnny Baggs. Johnny Baggs.

Do you think Johnny Baggs might have been capable of murder? No. He wasn't a violent guy. No. But Jose was. Jose was more

a little bit He was a prankster, Jose. Yeah. But the Marine wanted to murder him. Well, he was fucking with his daughter? He got in an argument with one of his kids.

And then, kids were like young kids, but Jose was a kid himself in his brain. You know what I mean? Right. I mean, he was older, but he was like, you know, he had a mental capacity. He was like 25 with the capacity of an 8-year-old. Well, you've said this before. This must have been boring for you to talk to him because, as we've said, you claim you're in Mensa. Yeah, well, you know, some guys are, some guys aren't.

Well, you claim you're in Mensa, which is, of course, the place for people with high Qs, high IQs. But then you tried to download the Mensa text. You couldn't figure out how to do it. It took nine days to download. I think right there, that's the lock that you're not in Mensa. It took nine days to download it. Well, speaking of hot chicks, dude, speaking of hot chicks, our guest today is Trinity St. Clair. You know who that is? No.

Well, she's a 29-year-old Italian-only child. All good stuff. Is she from Sicily? I don't know, but she's Italian. She's also a porn star. That's our guest today. Thank God. No touching.

I never touch unless requested. Straight-A student in grade school and a self-described band geek. So she came out of her shell. Wow. She's got a B.A. in psychology. That's bullshit. No, she probably does. They all got to be, you know.

All women naturally have that. Women have to manipulate. I mean, talk to us. What? Say it again? Manipulate us. Women naturally manipulate you? Of course.

What women? Well, we're going to discuss this with Trinity. Maybe she can manipulate you under the table. Put it this way. Women kind are in charge for a reason because that vagina's worth 10 dicks. Well, you know what Richard Pryor said, the great comedian.

I don't know why bitches always complain and they got half the money and all the pussy. That was brilliant. That's Socrates-type shit. Think about that. Half the money and all the pussy. Exactly right. Absolutely.

So you agree with that? Why do you think guys died so young in cemeteries? Pussy's head, vagina. Guys murdered people over it. Let's try to break down that sentence you just said. Why do you think people died so young in cemeteries? I mean... What the fuck are you talking about?

Why do you think guys died and got put in a cemetery early? That's what I meant. Well, some of them were retards who got nose jobs. Got in fighting duels over whores 150 years ago. Yeah, well, I mean, again, exactly right. Pussy starts wars. It ends wars. Right? Am I right? Of course.

It's a fantastic thing as well. You know the song, when a man loves a woman, what'll he do? He'll tell his best friend to fuck off. It brought Dillinger down to his knees. It did all kinds of shit. Absolutely. It brought Dillinger down to, yeah and did all kinds of shit. Absolutely. It brought Dillinger down to, yeah, down to his knees probably to blow somebody. Bonnie and Clyde,

look what happened to him. Yeah. Well, supposedly Clyde was a gay guy. I think I heard that he was. Yeah, Clyde was a gay guy. Bonnie, so Bonnie couldn't, she couldn't get him to fall for her, which is, she got pissed off. She wanted him, she wanted to fuck him, but he wouldn't fuck her. He was a psycho. He cut his own toe off to get out of...

No, that's Van Gogh. Oh, no. No, that's Van Toe. What did Van Gogh do? Cut his ear off. That's right. For a broad. And he shot himself.

For a broad. Killed himself. For a chick. Or a dude. Van Gogh might have been... He might have liked it in the butt. I don't know. I know Da Vinci did.

Da Vinci and Michelangelo. Yeah, but all the Roman Empire would fucking have psycho shit. Well, if you could lie on your back and paint a chapel ceiling for fucking 30 years, I mean, you're probably a fruit. Look at all the insanity that went on in the Roman Empire. Orgies and psycho shit. They were all gay, man. Alexander the Great. Collegially, all those assholes.

Yeah, I mean, what happens is you get in a six-em with dudes. Would you ever be in a threesome with another guy and a chick? No, that's a shame. I don't think anybody would do that with you either. So you would turn that down? Of course. What if you were guaranteed sex with the girl, but you had a, you know, glaze against a cock? No.

What if you were guaranteed, what if while your mouth was going to a chick's pussy, like, okay, the chick's like a Vegas Nine. Well, okay. It's you and a guy and this girl, okay? And the guy and the girl start fucking. And the only way to get your mouth to her pussy is through the guy's cock. Would you accept the guy's cock like grazing your face? Oh, no. No, no, no.

I don't give a shit. You're that homophobic? I am that homophobic. Not even to get to the pussy? No. Well, I'm sure Trinity St. Clair's been in a lot of threesomes. This is a porn star. I'm going to find out.

I'm sure she's smoking hot. You're going to make a move on her? You want me to set you up? I'll be your wingman. Okay. And I'm not talking about Buffalo Wings. No, and she's Italian, which is awesome. It says she's Italian.

29 years old. American Italian. 29 years old. American Italian. 29 years old for a porn star, that means she's probably in her early 50s. Trinity first began performing explicit hardcore movies in 2010. Hey, hey! Look who it is. There she is. Hey!

Hi! How you doing, sweetie? Good to be here. It's Chrissy, look! Hi! Hey, Chrissy, how are you? You know my co-host, Mike Buschetti? Hi, Mike.

Yeah. And that's Trinity St. Clair. I'm Trinity. What's up, Trinity? Hi, Trinity. This is Mike. Very nice to meet you. Mike has Asperger's.

The Trinity St. Clair. She's worn a very holiday festive outfit. Yeah, that's very sweet. Let me see this. Let me see. Can you stand up? Do you mind? It's very festive.

Wow. Yeah, you can take that off if you want. It's up to you. I don't want to get me tooned from a porn star. No, I actually just had to stop at church before I came here. Oh, you did? Yeah. Now, how old are you?

Are you 29, it says? Huh? You're 29. I am. And you're Italian. I'm Italian. I'm 100% Italian. Yes.

Mike predicted that. Uh-huh. Yeah. 100% Sicilian. Mike, where are you from in Italy? Where was your family from? Are you from Naples or Calabria? But my brother-in-law is 100% Sicilian and I love him.

Yeah. Okay. Well, so are you mob connected? Does that mean do you know people? Do I know people? And can you end up in the river? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. All right. I'm going to shut up. So it says you were a straight-A student and a band geek. I was. And you came out of your shell, evidently. Yeah. How did that happen?

Well, I actually had a boyfriend that liked porn, and I had never watched porn. Right. How old are you at this point? How old are you? With a boyfriend that watched porn? Yeah. So the first boyfriend was, like, I lost my virginity at 16. Okay. And then the second boyfriend was at 18 I lost my virginity at 16. Okay.

And then the second boyfriend was at 18. You should pray to St. Anthony. He might find it. What do you think I was? She lost it to St. Anthony. Yeah. So wait a minute. So 16, I mean, that's not insanely young.

It's really not. No, no, no. I mean, not nowadays. No, no. And then so. You're a millennial. Yeah. And so the 18 was a boyfriend that watched porn.

Right. And he was, for his birthday, I let him video us. Oh, nice. You must have been thrilled. I would have been thrilled. It was, you know. Yeah. Mike would have been thrilled.

He's like, you look amazing on camera. He's like, have you ever thought of it? And I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind. Yeah. I'm like, come on, bro. Like, yeah. I mean thing I mean you think he was trying to like produce you in porn or just I don't know no he was just obsessed over porn right yeah and so uh so I googled up an agency and I sent him my photos so your first reaction was fuck I don't want to do that well your first reaction well no no I mean I mean like you're out of your mind like I'm like I'm just thinking he's

crazy but I'm an adrenaline junkie so I'm like I'm the I'm the one that like like you're out of your mind. I'm like, I'm just thinking he's crazy, but I'm an adrenaline junkie. So I'm like, I'm the one that like, like you jump on an airplane, like let's go. Like let's do everything, you know? You'll do anything once. Hell yeah.

Why not? That's cool. I have some guts, but not that much. Mike's a junkie, but not for adrenaline. Yeah. You guys don't look like

you're the same species. Well, jumping out of, holy crap. I'm like. I mean, so you like, you look like you're the same species. Well, jumping out of, holy crap. I'm like. No, I mean, so you like speed, rush. Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean, the porn world, that's where you get it.

Uh-huh. So they flew me down to shoot my first scene. Where? In L.A. In L.A.? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went down. And the rest is porn history.

Yeah. Now, I mean. Ten years later. How old, so you're 19 at this point, 18? Um, and 19 was my first year. Okay, 19. October 19, or October 2009 was my first year. The thing about, the thing about porn now, because, I mean, I'm 52 years old, so, you

know, I remember going to theaters to see porno. Right. And a lot of it was, like, real taste, super tastefully done and stuff. But nowadays, like, people, like, young girls, they jump right into, like, immediately their first scene is, like, 18 cocks and, like, you know, anal. You can get a double. Double penetration, triple penetration. I mean, there's no set up. Like, it's just boom.

Yeah. There's no even acting. I love this. Well, yeah. So, like, I mean, I'll be honest. Like, when I first got in, like, I didn't know there was levels that you could go through. Well, there are. Absolutely. Well, now they're really.

One of them is being chopped up in a trunk. They're fucking really setting up to, like, the degrees and everything like that. Yeah. But my first week, I'm like, a cock's a cock. I don't give a fuck. You don't care. No. So, my first week was, like, five black guys in my No. So my first week was like five black guys in my ass.

So I'm like. Five black guys in your ass. Not at once. They took turns. That could be a good name for a movie, actually. But it was. A lot of times black guys will not take turns. That was nice of them.

Yeah. So again, okay. Now, again, you're a millennial. It's a different generation of Italian descent, Sicilian. Did anybody in your family have trouble with the interracial porn? Any uncles not speaking to you forever? Well, like, none of them really, like, discuss my porn. Yeah, but I mean, do they know what you do?

They know 100%. 100%. They know what I do. So how does that come up in the holidays? I mean, you know, I just... Well, I definitely was a black sheep for a really long time. Well, it sounds like you were a very black sheep. Yeah.

Is that something you prefer? Your first thing is five black guys. Not my first thing. First week. First week? Yeah. Well, okay, like you were a very black sheep. Is that something you prefer? Your first thing is five black guys. Not my first thing. First week. First week? Yeah. Well, okay. You don't want to rush it. Yeah, no. What was the very first thing you had to do? Anal. Anal. So, I mean, that's what I mean. Back in the days, like... My first thing was anal. Well, but it was honestly

my choice because it was easier. It was easier? Anal's easier? It was at the time. Oh, my God. True Catholic girl. Hello. Yeah, okay. I saved one little Catholic boy at a time. You were a virgin vaginally?

Is that what you're saying or no? No, not originally. But you wanted it in the ass. It was easier. It was easier. Wow. For the porn cocks, it was 100% easier. I mean, that's saying a lot. That's saying a lot. I mean, so... I. That's saying a lot. That's saying a lot. I'm enjoying every minute of this. So at that point, there's no gray area.

You jumped in and you're in the game. Are you in any type of relationship at all or boyfriend? Well, the boyfriend that filmed us was not my boyfriend after that. I'm sure. What happened to him? He disappeared like a robot. He leaped off a bridge? Yeah, he went incognito.

I don't know what... Does this guy know he's responsible for this life? I mean, you know. Oh, 100%. He hears about the story all the time. Well, everything's on social media. Yeah, exactly. So he follows you on Instagram and sees the five black cocks. Yep, of course.

But now, are you in any type of relationship? No. Do you not want to be? Huh? It's just hard. Would you consider Mike, dating Mike? I think it'd be a good holiday. Mike, are you single?

Yeah, so I love you. What do you think? I could do it. You guys would be cute together, I think. You're smoking hot as fuck. Is what I'm saying. Is there anybody you want? I'm honest.

Is there a line you draw with porn? I mean, is there anybody you, like, I'm saying, is there a line you draw with porn? Like, I mean, is there anything you won't do? Midgets? How about midgets? I haven't done,

I would like to do a midget, honestly. I know, right? I fucking would. That would be fun. I haven't done DP, though,

like, honestly. Double penetration. I haven't, no. Why is that? I mean, is that a goal?

Ah, it's not a goal, no. No, it's just not something that, it doesn't attract me. I'm like, I'm not attracted to do it. It doesn't, like, it doesn not a goal, no. No, it's just not something that... I mean, that's what I'm saying. It doesn't attract me. I'm like, I'm not attracted to do it. It doesn't excite me.

But that face you just made is what I'm talking about. So there's stuff that creeps you out. Yeah, I'm just not into it. What about lesbians, though? I fucking love women. You love lesbians. See, I don't understand. Again, the whole male homosexual thing,

I've never really understood. It's fine with me. But I don't see how a woman could be sexually into a man at all. Like, I mean, if I— We're so much more attractive, aren't we? I know. It's hard. I mean, honestly, yeah.

It's not— Exactly. It's not even close. I know. I mean, really, you're a more central creature. There's some pretty men out there. You have to admit. But who wants a pretty man?

I know. I don't. I really don creature. There's some pretty men out there. You have to admit. But who wants a pretty man? I know. I don't. I really don't. I like burly men. I'm like, a man looks like a man, smells like a man. Well, come to the right place right here. Welcome to Art is Burly Man. Burly Man for sale.

Give me those big old beards. Yep. You like funny fat guys? Yes. Oh, yeah. If you meet one, let us know. So, now, Chrissy, tell us about what you got going on with Compound Media. You have a show.

Yes. Anthony Coombe is a network. I used to be on it. Yes, great guy. It's called Chrissy Mayer's Wet Spot, and it started in July. I pitched it in June, and it's picked up in July. And, like, Trinity was one of my first guests. I had her on.

We did a wet spot. Trinity, yeah. Trinity seems like a home run. It's awesome. It's a home run. She's first guests. I had her on. We did a web spot. Trinity seems like a home run. She's a home run. Her show is amazing. What I wanted for it was it to seem like a combination of remember Loveline from the 90s plus The View plus early Howard Stern when he was still taking a lot of risks.

Well, I was on that show. I was on the Stern show for 10 years so I remember we had porn stars on every day. I was on the Star Trek for 10 years, so I remember what we did. I mean, we had porn stars on every day. A porn star would show up. And the shit we got them to do, we used to think called anal ring toss. We used to do this. I was the lord of the anal rings.

We would put a stick in a girl's ass and we would throw rings at it. Oh, my God. And I beat some of the big ones. Is that something you would do or no? Anal ring toss? Yeah. Would you put a stick in your ass and let people throw rings at the stick? I've done that. Wow.

We're always looking for new remote segments. You did that in a movie or at a party? I did it when I used to feature dance. Oh. Yeah. Wow. Okay. So is that what you started out doing?

You started doing like go-go bars? Kids parties. Oh, no, no, go-go bars? Kids parties. Oh, no, no, no. Kids parties? Porn was first. Kid Rocks party? And then the clubs would say, hey, come to my club because, you know, I have a name and I'd bring money to their club. So now you're one of the bigger names in porn now, you think?

I've been around for a minute. Well, 10 years. I'm a MILF now. We keep talking about that. I get so excited. Oh, now you're a mom. Well, no, I'm not a mom, but I'm a MILF. Categorically.

Oh. Because of these. Oh, okay. They upgraded. Because I used to be so flat-chested I that that's well not anymore I know so I was a teen right and then when I got the boobs when did you get them I got that well these new ones I got in October but I my first my first implants were in 2012 are you willing to show us them huh these ones yeah let's see. Let's see them. Hey. Woo! That's so nice. You see, they are very, that's a good job. I love Chinese.

They're very fun. You got the little tie. I like that. Yeah. You look like you just came from school. Yeah. I mean, I told you, I just came from Catholic church. School level is that good.

Now, Mike, show us your tits, Mike. No, please don't. So when did you get those? These ones were last October because someone popped my tit. Oh, really? Yeah, I had to get them replaced. Well, that's an occupational hazard. It is.

It really is. And it can happen. I'm telling all women. I'm like, yes, there is. If a man grabs your tit too hard and acts like the zombie apocalypse, they can rip it off. No, that's terrible. When did that happen? In a movie?

Yeah. So are those in the outtakes, like in Smokey and the Bandit? You can see that at the end of the movie? You show the outtakes with the tit bursting? That must be horrifying. It hurt. Isn't it horrifying? It wasn't horrifying.

It was just really painful. Oh, God. How are you doing now? Huh? Are you okay now? Talk on the microphone. Yeah. Did anything leak out?

No, nothing leaked out. It just got really bruised. And then they're like, the doctor was like, you might need to come back to L.A. and get that fixed. I'm like, fuck. Well, yeah, of course you do. What does a job like that cost? About $10,000. $10,000 now.

Uh-huh. Well, it's good work, though. Yeah. You don't want to get... So how long into your career before you got the tit job? So, well, from... So I got in in 2009 and then... So four years, five years.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you were flat-chested in porn for a while? Yeah, I played out the teen girl for a long time. Okay. The teen girl thing. Yep. Yeah.

And now, in this Me Too bullshit era. I don't believe in it. I'm sure you don't. I mean, how could you be in your business and believe in it? But are there these asshole like activists who give you shit like online and stuff? Oh, 100%. Like, don't you have, I always get like, sometimes I'll get the emails. Aren't you ashamed?

Aren't you ashamed? Or like, you need to, you need to, God will, repent, repent. God will forgive you and all this shit. I'm like, yeah. It's so sick. They're the weirdos. I'm like, but you're following my porn. Like, hello.

Like, you are watching my porn, you dumb fuck. Let me tell you something. You just hit the nail on the head. They're hypocrites. Of course. They're fucking hypocrites. They're burning hell for judging other people. We people are fucking loners. Your name is

Trinity. That sounds religious enough. Exactly. Trinity St. Clair. Yeah, there's a reason for it. Listen, guys, very exciting. Well, thank you for coming. I got a couple of reads. This first one you'll be interested in. Mike, especially you. Arnie Lang's Halfway House is brought to you by Blue Chew.

Staying hard during sex. No problem with Trinity, right? It would be all night. It would be easier. She's got me stuttered. Trinity might be one of these pills. One of these pills on a human. You want to have good sex. You can increase your performance

and get the extra confidence in bed if you listen up. BlueChew.com. That's blue like the color blue, like Mike's balls. Blue Chew brings you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.

You can take them anytime, day or night, even on a full stomach, and since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast as a pill so you can be ready whenever an opportunity arises. If you could benefit from extra function and more confidence where it counts, Blue Chew is the fast and easy way to enhance your performance.

Blue Chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians so you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy, and it ships right to your door in a discreet package. They're made in the USA, and since Blue Chew prepares and ships direct, they're cheaper than a pharmacy. Right now, we've got a special deal for our listeners. Visit bluechew.com and get your first shipment free when you use our special promo code ARTIE. A-R-T-I-E.

Just pay $5 shipping. Again, that's blue, B-L-U-E, chew.com. Promo code ARTIE to try it free. Blue Chew is the better, cheaper, faster choice. And we thank them for sponsoring the podcast. Now let's talk about gambling. Have you ever gambled? You're Sicilian.

You own any bookies? Maybe. Okay. Honestly. Yeah, I do. Where did you actually grow up? Well, I'm from Northern California, but my family's from New York. Like the San Francisco area?

Sacramento? Above, actually. Okay. Wow. Way up there. Humboldt County. Do you know where Humboldt is? Yeah, I actually. Okay, wow. Way up there. Humboldt County, do you know? Yeah, I know. I've been all over the country.

Don't stand there. I played a club in Sacramento called the Punchline, and I drove off the coast. So I know that. Well, listen, if you're Sicilian, you know about gambling. Yep. I mean, all bookies are Sicilian, right, Mike? Well, a lot of them are Italian, too. Some Sicilian, some American.

Now, most of them are Sicilian, maybe. Well, some are Italian, too. Which makes sense why you like black guys, because the Moors, right? The Maroccos. The Moroccan black guys just raped Sicily. Hannibal stopped at all from there for a while. Don't tell the Gambinos that. Need more black guys.

Yeah, well, Sicily found them. And Arden Lang's Every House is brought to you by MyBookie. We're in the middle of football season. You like winning money? You like betting sports? I'll tell you where I is brought to you by MyBookie. We're in the middle of football season. You like winning money? You like betting sports? I'll tell you where I put my money down. MyBookie AG. Do you follow football? You like the Niners?

Wow. Well, that's something else. You're an Eagles fan? How did that happen? That's just bad parenting. In Northern California? How the fuck did that happen? I lived in Philadelphia.

Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, that's... Did you ever dance at Delilah's cheerleaders cheerleaders oh yeah

I used to date a girl from cheerleaders back 4,000 years ago well if you're trying to bet on the NFL MMA whatever MyBookie's got it

they've got better incentives and more lines than any other sports book period use promo code ARTIE A-R-T-I-E to get a 50% bonus on your initial deposit

up to $1,000 you put in a grand they give you $500 back it's that easy visit MyBookie AG today Use promo code ARTIE to get a 50% bonus on your initial deposit up to $1,000. You put in a grand, they give you $500 back. It's that easy. Visit MyBookieAG today. That's MyBookie, M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E dot A-G. And don't forget to use the promo code ARTIE when creating your own account to claim the bonus. You play, you win, you get paid.

So, I mean, you're selling an all-around cool chick. I mean, you're about sports. You're an Eagles fan. Yeah. You know, so, I mean, what about You're about sports. You're an Eagles fan. What about the future? You're 29. Is there an out game? Do you plan on doing this a while?

I've been doing it for a while. Now I feel like I'm more on the production side. Oh, okay. So you're becoming like Spielberg. Yeah. From porn. Yeah, sure. A lot of money in it. Of course. Yeah, okay. So I also do, you know. Oh, so you're becoming like Spielberg. Yeah. For porn. Oh, yeah, sure. So I definitely. A lot of money in it, of course. I do, yeah. There's tons of money. And I mean, there's all those little like

outlets to doing different things and different promotions in different areas. There's tons of ways with social media to make money out of it. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. Are you a millionaire? I don't know. Okay, well, let's see. Typical Italian. Yeah, but millionaires don't talk about their money. Typicals are saying they shut up. A millionaire varies. Okay, well, we'll see. Typical Italian. Yeah, but millionaires don't talk about their money. A millionaire varies.

Well, yeah, I'm saying. I got a feeling she is. I got a feeling she's been. I'm smart. Yeah, very smart. I'm a business woman and I'm not married and don't have kids. Yeah, well, okay. That's perfect. Now, do you want children? No. No? No. I have cats. Never? No, I'm good.

Really? I need kids. Okay, No, I'm good. Really? I need kids. Okay, well, you could win the mulatto with a kid if the black guy doesn't put the rubber on. Well, Chrissy, so now you love what you do. How did you get involved with all this? About a year ago, I started to go on In Hot Water, which is Aaron Berg and Gina Bisconti's show, and I would do characters. I find that unstable women in the news really inspire me.

There's a lot of those, too. She has a great show on it, so I watch it all the time. Yeah, you guys should both come do it. I would love to. There was a case of a woman in Canada who died in a clothing donation bin, so I thought, wouldn't it be funny to meet this lady if she was still alive? She died in a clothing donation bin. Yes, she was, I think, homeless. I hope so. And I was like, wouldn't it be fun to be this lady if she was still alive. She died in a clothing donation. She was, I think, homeless. I hope so.

And I was like, wouldn't it be fun to be this lady and see what her rationale is? And then I just started doing a lot of weird characters. So you did the lady in the bin? Yeah, I did the lady in the bin. I did a French nudist restaurant owner. It was me and Mike Figgs, who's my sort of announcer sidekick.

And we can do silly accents. And like I recently did Greta Thunberg. And that got a ton of hits. That's on the compound media. I'm also a little chicken to climate. Yeah, yeah. That's on the compound media YouTube right now.

And it's amazing because SNL just came out with their Greta impression. Kate McKinnon did it. And it was the weakest thing I've ever seen. Oh, really? It's just like they're just so safe. Yeah, I did Mad TV for two years. It's just like they're just so safe. Yeah I did MADtv for two years. I did a sketch comedy show for two years that's how I moved to LA from 95

to 97. Sketch comedy's hard it's hard and the audition for a sketch comedy show like that SNL or like a MADtv you gotta do it's a three hour audition. You gotta do impressions you gotta do characters so you know if you had to do a celebrity impression they would give you a tape of somebody and you listen to the tape

all week and you know you get as close as you can and then you have to wipe your Twitter too well we didn't have Twitter back then but it must have been

it's hard I mean I don't love the world right now for comedians especially what you do there's so many judgmental people

I know they're morons comics do like seven minute they get a seven minute bit and they get, you know, if people crucify them on Twitter, they stop doing it. You know? Because you gotta write new shit, you gotta risk failing. But what you

do is, like, I mean, do you, how many followers do you have on social media? Do you know? Uh, well, 200, 200-something on Twitter, and then 250 on Instagram. What means thousands? Something like... Oh, thousand? Something like Oh yeah Something like

50,000 on Snapchat What is the difference Between Snapchat and Instagram? Snapchat goes away Oh okay Oh it does? Yes How long does it take

To go right away It goes away? Well no It goes away within 24 hours Talking to the mic Pretend that's a black cock. Oh, fuck. I like women.

I like black dicks. I mean, but nothing goes away on the computer. I mean, be careful with that. Well, Snapchat, it does. Oh, really? Because it's not on the computer. It's on an app. Yeah, I know what the difference is.

Yeah. Somebody could screenshot it, maybe, but isn't there an alert that would tell you yeah And then I say fuck you and block you you dumb fuck so You just put like real like crazy shit on there no one I mean so like you so no I'm just I think it's like a virtual diary I'm like I can say and do whatever the fuck I want and I don't like it I just block you and say good I like blocking it asshole people suck on there like blocking dick

I get on me too because so much fun Fuck off I like blocking Asshole People suck on that I like blocking dickheads Mike is amazing On social media Block block I get on these Me too Because so much Addict to me I'll block the Fucking shit out of morons

But the easy button Is like block block block But that takes a lot of time Doesn't it No But you're on social media All the time It's enjoyable

Like fuck you shithead Boom boom boom Jesus Christ See Yeah but that's That's a deranged lunatic. No. What about stalkers and stuff like that?

Oh, my God. Have I had my fair share? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, how do you handle that? You got to call some of the Sicilian uncles. Yeah, yeah. Any real dangerous situation arise, so to speak?

I mean, I've had someone, like, show up at my house. This was, like, when I first moved to L.A. That would creep me the fuck out. It was my first year in LA, and it was a super fan that had followed me from a bar. Oh, Christ. In LA? Yeah, I had to call my landlord,

and the landlord had to call the cops and say, you've got to leave. And he told me not to open my door because he's like, Trinity, open up. And I'm like, whoa. So was this someone who knew your movies and saw you at a bar, recognized you, and followed you home? Holy shit. That's fucking.

I mean. At that point, I started carrying pepper spray. How do you blame me? What about a gun? I know how to. Oh, yeah. I know how to shoot a gun. Fuck yeah.

Oh, that's hot. Carry a 9mm Beretta with you. I have a few shotguns in my closet so yeah, not here I understand, well you know, just make sure they're legal you'll do time for that, you'll be in San Quentin but now what about drugs in your life? you ever done drugs?

no, I mean weed, that's about it I mean Humboldt County that's fine, stay away from that shit that's all porn used to be now even porn is like politically correct people just have a muffin know a muffin with gluten If they go to rehab Honestly

Everybody's healthier, which is good. Try take yeah, do you always use protection in the movies? There's always like a rubber on the never there's never tested. That's fantastic That's why I'm like I'm like yeah, I like cleanest person in the room at any bar is going to be. A porn star? Yeah. Yeah, but that was never the case here. There's a lot of AIDS going on. What about, do you know anybody who got any HIV scares?

Not even. So is there a particular company you work for, Vivid, or is it just you? It's, no, it's, so with the industry now, it's like a lot of different companies. I mean, there's bigger companies. You can do your own shit, right? I mean, Brazzers is definitely probably the biggest, which owns Pornhub.

So, you know, they're a mind geek. And then they own Brazzers and Twisties and Babes and everything. And then we have like Naughty America and Bang Bros, Bang Bust in Florida. I'm sure you heard of that one. No, I've been in jail. There are a lot of specialty, but like,

what about Gang Bang? Did you ever do that? On the Stern Show, we always had some chick, every week, some chick broke the Gang Bang record. Oh, did you hear about that? You must have met that one girl that did like 25 guys, like Dallas something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was Houston. Her name was Houston. Houston, yeah, yeah, yeah. She fucked like 25 guys like Dallas something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was Houston. Her name

was Houston. Houston. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She like fucked like 25 guys. I'm like, wow. She literally looked like a pencil with two balloons on it. And she took all the cum. Wow. All the cum. She didn't spit any out. Nope. How old is she? That's a lot of calories. I think at the time she was 72. She looked haggard. We actually did a bit with her where she took a nerdy kid to his prom. That was fun. That's cute. Good for him.

Yeah. He was very popular after that. But yeah, but so, I mean, would you do anything like that? I mean, that's... I've done a gang... I mean, the Five Guy was considered a gang thing. But back in the day, the difference now with, again, political correctness is if a white chick did a black guy, their price went down.

Wow. That's not that. So if you do a black guy. Your price goes up now. Yep. You can charge more for a fucking black guy, which I thought was wrong. I'm like, black and white caucus thing. I mean, so I do agree that you should be able to charge more if it's going to make

you walk pigeon toed, which can happen. What is the biggest penis you've ever taken? His name was Shane Diesel and I will never work with him again. Shane Diesel? Oh no. Yeah. How big was he? I think I was in rehab with him.

Oh yeah. He was like that big. I'm not even kidding you. And I'm like, and literally I remember because in the film, I have, I have tears coming out of my eyes. He's a great guy. I'm not. He you. No. And I'm like, and literally, I remember because in the film, I'm like, I have tears coming out of my eyes. He's a great guy. He sounds like a great guy. He's super nice. Right?

I mean, Mike, doesn't Shane sound like a great guy? Shane sounds like a great guy. I call him Mr. Diesel. Because of Diesel, you know? But I just can't imagine him being in a normal relationship. Well, no. You know? So you would have to prefer.

He must have a really loose vagina if he does date someone. If something like that goes in your ass, you're talking about colostomy bag land. No, I didn't. He couldn't get in my... How long? How big of a cock? He probably was like... No!

When you say this thick... Yes, he was thicker than the length. That's the thing. So that's almost a burden. Like a lot of guys say, I wish I had a big cock, but not like that. No, exactly. I'm like, who wants a cock like that? It's like a Yule log.

What is the purpose of shrimp and salad? Well, it's good for the holidays. You could burn his cock on Channel 11. I think eight inches is a good cock. Eight inches is a good dick? Yeah. There you go. So, Mike, you're seven inches away from a perfect cock. No, but I got, well. Mike, have you ever measured your dick? Yeah! There you go. So Mike, you're 7 inches away. Oh!

From a perfect cock. No, but I got, well... Mike, have you ever measured your dick? How big is it? I... Well, we know what that means. No, so 8 inches, but it is more the width too, right? I mean, like, I've been to jail and I've been in the shower and I'm like, you know,

you look around and you go, what if I got raped? And in my opinion, in my heterosexual male opinion, I'm always like, I'd rather length than width. I really would. I'd rather a real thin cock. You don't feel it. It's great to have a big nut sack. Like, if I was going to get raped in a prison shower,

I'd rather, I would not want a thick dick at all. I wouldn't want Shane Diesel at all. I wouldn't want, I mean, I like, I like. Is Shane a white guy? No. No, he's a black guy. Yeah. I like Irish dicks.

Have you ever done a white guy? I call them Irish dicks. Really? So yeah, Irish dicks are thicker. They are? Oh yeah, 100%. So they're not cursed. Huh?

So they're not cursed. Have you ever been with any celebrities? Yes. Yeah. Like who? A few. No one you could disclose? Any public relationship with a celebrities? Yes. Yeah. Like who? A few. No one you could disclose? Any public relationship with a celebrity ever?

Oh, no. Now, why is that? Were they married? Were they two families? I mean, did they think they were too good for you? Why is that? I mean, was that your decision? Well, it was actually my bucket list.

Oh, okay. So this is like a movie star? No, it wasn't a movie star at all. No, it was actually, there was a few. How was the person famous? Politician. Definitely not a politician. Is he currently head of the committee impeaching the president?

I wish. Jerry Nadler? But no, he was a musician and then actually athletic. Both or one musician and one athletic? So one sports guy? Yeah. And then John Mayer.

I wish. You like John Mayer? He's handsome. He's a whore. Well, listen, I mean, I'd be a whore too. Me too. Don't you think every guy's a whore. He is, I know. Well, listen, I mean, I'd be a whore, too. Me, too. I wouldn't be. Every guy's a whore. Don't you think every guy's a whore?

Of course. Chris Rock said a guy is only as loyal as his options. As his options. That's right. That's, like, the best quote. Well, I mean, I think it's true, unfortunately. I mean, do you think you seem very, like, secure and everything, but is there an insecure side to you? Like, do you think there's a part of you that wants to be loved? Oh, 100%.

Are you afraid to give your love to someone? No you think there's a part of you that wants to be loved? Are you afraid to give your love to someone? No, I'm not. Like Shane Diesel? I'm very independent. Do you want to stay that way because you feel like, you know, fuck the world? Kind of, yeah.

Actually, you are fucking the world. Yeah, I am. How many men have you been with? Too many. But not enough. Don person at a time. How many men have you been with? Too many. But not enough. Don't even know enough. You can never have enough. Don't even know enough.

No. No, you don't count. I stopped after the first 20 guys the first week. I'm like, oh, yeah, I can't. I thought, like, I might give myself a challenge. I'm like, I want to see how many guys I have sex with. I keep a spreadsheet. But if you have over 500 scenes, I mean, you got to.

So how many scenes, like, okay, so what can you make in a scene? Like, what's an average, like, you're a hot chick. You're hot in the industry. You're young. What can you make for one scene? And how long does it take to do a scene? Well, it depends on what the production company is. You and Shane, Shane doesn't want to do anal.

Anywhere between... They call it shanal. So a scene can be anywhere between four and ten hours. Right. Yeah. It depends if it's gonzo or if there's like more into it. What's gonzo mean? Gonzo means straight to the sex. Okay.

So no acting. No bullshit. Sounds like Muppets. No script. I don't mind that because although Mike used to come when the pizza got there. But what about that bullshit, the guys who had to fix the cable, the guys who were delivering a pizza? I've done that scene. I've done that scene.

Right. The car broke down. The plumber. Yeah. But now it's a gluten-free pizza. Yeah, it's a gluten-free pizza. Shane Diesel with your gluten-free pizza. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, so, I mean, get right to it, right? I mean, because people That's the other thing Short attention spans People are in airports Watching porn on their phones And the thing is Also, like The mojo dies for us on set

I'm like If you're on set for 10 hours And you do the final sex scene At 10 p.m. And you've been there since 8 a.m. Get the fuck out of here Now what about What about stuff like Blue Chew?

Like, is that a Is that on Do guys use it? Yeah. They do, right? Well, yeah. You have to. I don't care how heterosexual you are.

I don't care. I mean, yeah, the male talent. I mean, a lot of them, there are a lot that don't have to use it right away. But there are times where the guys have to inject their dicks and do things like that. Wow. And you're not insulted by that? No. I mean, as long as they can come on command, that's all that matters to me.

I don't want a sloppy dick. I'm like, I'm here. I'm here. I need a hard dick. I'm like, if you can't get hard, get the fuck out of here. Yeah. But do you ever get insulted if a guy can't come? Yeah.

Of course you do, right? Fuck yeah, I do. Does that ever happen in real life with you? No. I know I get intimidating. I am intimidating. Well, you're a very beautiful girl and you're in porn. And you're very smart.

You're the trifecta of intimidating. She's the Trinity. Yes. Is that why you're called that? Why did you pick Trinity? Or is that your real name? Why did you pick that? Why did I pick it?

It's very holy. I know it's very holy, but it's not because of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. But it is because actually I grew up next to Trinity Lake. Ah. Nice. And I love the outdoors. Well, that's a very sentimental story. And three holes.

That's what I mean, yeah. Yes. That's a very sentimental story. That's very nice. Yeah. Well, listen, Mike has a quick announcement that I do and then we'll say it. Thank you for coming here, by the way. Thank you.

I'm always fascinated by porn stars, especially smart ones. Absolutely. Go ahead, Mike. Catch every episode of the Artie Lang's Halfway House for free. Startling. At thecomicsgym.com. And special thanks to Fanny Company for helping secure sponsorship and the Pro Media Studios in Times Square, New York City.

Absolutely. Well, I'm a very busy comedian. You can catch me New Year's Eve at the Egg Theater in Albany, January 3rd and 4th at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City, January 10th at the Camp AC Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey, January 24th at the Keswick Theater, Glenside, PA, outside of Philly, January 25th at the Mock Chunk Opera House in Jim Thorpe, PA, January 31st and February 1st, Levity Live in West Nyack, New York.

If you want, down the road, I'm going to Arizona, Vegas, Florida. Where do you spend most of your time? So you're in L.A.? You live in L.A.? No, I live here. Oh, you do? Yeah. But you lived in L.A. for a while.

I lived in L.A. for 10 years. And when did you move back here? Three years. Why is that? The Eagles? Was the guy you dated down in the Eagles? No. No, I wish.

Was he a football player? No. He's a real estate agent. No, I wish. Was he a football player? No. He's a real estate agent. No, I'm saying the celebrity, the sports guy. Was he a football player? Yes. He was a football player. He was.

Peyton Manning? Eli Manning. We're going to hook up to a lie detector next time and go through everything. Antonio Brown? Was it a black guy? No. Oh, okay. What are you, an asshole?

And it wasn't a cowboy fan. It wasn't a fucking cowboy fan. No, no. Are you really literally such an Eagles fan where even if you were attracted to a cowboy, you wouldn't fuck a cowboy? Wow. Whoa. So, well, look at that back

That's very sexy Great bag Very sexy girl So you I love this You would not fuck a cowboy That's fantastic That's fantastic

Well listen You have anything you want to plug Or you got the website Anything you want to Follow me on On Twitter Which is Trinity St. Clair And then Instagram

Trinity St. Clair And then you Instagram, Trinity St. Clair, and then you can sign up for my OnlyFans on Snapchat if you want to see me do naughty stuff. I think I'm going to do that. It's fun. I may follow you home, but I'm not going to try to get in there. Be careful. I'm worried about you. I'm like an Italian uncle.

Be careful with these maniacs. Okay. Chris, what do you want to mention? Talk about your show. Yeah. Obviously, the Wet Spot on Compound Media. We're every Monday at 8 o'clock Eastern Standard Time, compoundmedia.com. I'm actually going to be at the AVN Awards in January in Vegas.

I was a presenter there a couple of years. That was fun. I'm excited to go. It's my first time. I'm going to be doing interviews and walking around. Yeah. Is that creep Ron Jeremy still walking around? Yes.

Is he still in the porn world? Oh, yes, he is. Oh, my God. Falling asleep in his Crocs. Yeah. Oh, boy. You know exactly what I'm talking about. His sweats and his Crocs. His cocks and Crocs. As you know, Shane

Diesel. Mike, you want to say any closing words before we end this? It was great to have this smoking hot woman here. Absolutely. They're both very pretty, very sweet. I wish you guys luck. Thank you. And be careful. Artie likes Halfway House. We'll see you next time with Todd Barrow and a bunch of people. Take care.

Bye. That was so much fun. That was great. Good job. Cool. Thank you. We'll see you next time.