Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 16 - SHANE GILLIS

Episode Date: December 31, 2019

Artie Lange and Mike Bocchetti end 2019 by spending time with comic Shane Gillis, one of the biggest stories in comedy this year and an all around great guy! Presented by TheComicsGym.com Thanks to MyBookie.ag - If you're going to wager this weekend go to http://bit.ly/MYB-Artie and use code Artie to get a 50% signup bonus. Thanks to Blue Chew. Go to BlueChew.com and get your first shipment FREE (just pay $5 shipping) when you use the promo code ARTIE.

Hey, it's Arnie Lacks, Halfway House. The great Mike Pichetti's here. Mike, they switched our seats. How do you feel about this? I got a lot more room. I love this. Let's keep it this way. But why do you need more?

Why do you need more room? I love it. You're not like that. Yeah, but I'm a little fatter than you. I don't know how room. I love this. Let's keep it this way. But why do you need more? Why do you need more room? I love it. You're not like... Yeah, but I'm a little fatter than you. I don't know how much more. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. You don't move at all. I know.

I love it, though, because I can move now. You don't need like a good golf camera to follow you around. Yeah, but I'm a little fatter than you. I don't know how much fatter I'm... Well, now you're a lot fatter, yeah. I don't know. I mean, you don't look great. I mean, but neither do I.

Yeah, but I feel great. That's the important thing. Our guest is, I'm so glad this guy's here, man. Me too. Because I'm fired up about your situation. Shane Gillis, great comedian. Yeah, thank you. Hey, Shane, welcome.

And, you know, first of all, in the news, so, I mean, it's just amazing how the world fucking operates now. So it seems like this happened so long ago because people talk about it a lot. But you, you know, you get a gig as a regular on Saturday Night Live. You find that way. They announce it like September the 12th or something like that, right? Yeah. Okay. Of this past year.

So a couple of months ago. Yeah. I was in, I just got out of rehab when this happened on my rehab fucking tour. And that's one of the first things Someone told me was your situation And it's just Fucking infuriating So they hire you And then some jerk off

And that's what he is, a jerk off I mean I don't know who this person is But these people have nothing else to do You may never know Shane because they're fucking assholes Well you know I mean it's like, we know who the whistleblower is. Shane knows his whistleblower. Yeah. Uh, and, and

you, he finds you like from years back. Uh, one year. One year. Yeah. And that's enough. You know, I mean, the world, nowadays that's like 10 fucking years. Uh, especially, you know, people talk all the time. Everybody's got some stupid show

Yeah Like this one And And he finds What exactly Walk me through What exactly happened You get the gig on SNL

Yeah Like start from that That's amazing Yeah that was cool I The whole time I was like Cause I knew I had this podcast Right

And they don't really Like They don't really check They don't really Deep dive on podcasts Cause first off They're not hiring many standups Right this podcast right and they don't really like they don't really check they don't really deep dive on podcasts because first off they're not hiring many stand-ups right and like improv kids don't have yeah podcast they're not right exactly uh so you are you were you ever an improv guy or sketches you were just straight stand up he didn't do that a lot like back in the day i guess

you know norm was and spade and guys like that, but he liked sketch guys, obviously. Yeah, I'd done some, like, filmed sketch. Right. I've done a few sketches, but no, never improv or anything like that. Just stand-up. And, yeah, they were like NBC's publicists the day before they announced it. We're like, we're going to, you know, get ready. They're going to do a deep dive on you tomorrow when we announce this. And I was like.

By they, meaning just like... Everybody. Just the media's got, like social media, just any asshole. That's the thing. It doesn't have to be Woodward and Bernstein now. It could be some asshole in his basement in Indiana. And also that's what they do now. Like if they introduce a... A deep dive. Yeah. If you get

introduced to the public, the first thing everyone does is go through everything you've ever said and see if they can find something fucked up. And with me, it wasn't that hard. It was kind of the first search. So you find that you get SNL one day, and then two days later, they

announce it, this deep dive happens. Yeah, it was one day. And one day. One day. Well, first off, I got the news on 9-11. It kind of makes sense. Yeah, I got the news on 9-11 It kind of makes sense Yeah, I got the phone call that I was going to be cast And I knew I was going to get something I figured it was writing

Right Well, that's what a lot of stand-ups feel like Like back in the day Write for a year and then get used to the studio and shit like that But no, they just wanted to go straight to cast Were you like a featured player? Yeah Okay, so now whatever.

There's like 50 people on there now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. It's a big deal, man. Especially getting a sketch. I was on the original Mad TV cast, and there was only eight of us doing that. But by then, there was at least 20 people on SNL. But to get a sketch comedy show, it's hard to do.

Yeah. But, you know, to get a sketch comedy show, that's, you know, it's hard to do. Yeah. And it definitely shows that, you know, you're respected comedically and as a writer without question. And so tell me exactly what this kid, so who found it? Who was this person? His name is Seth Simons. Seth Simons. What is he?

Does he have an axe to grab with you or just? No, I don't think he has a problem with me, but he's like a. He doesn't have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like a, you know, he's a... So he's big into, like, social justice and, like... He's a blogger guy, like one of those blogger type guys? Yeah, he's a writer.

He's a blogger, writer, poet. Oh, he sounds like an asshole. He's a poet. Oh, what an asshole. He's a poet. He does have some poetry on YouTube, which is... Can you imagine being trapped in an elevator with that asshole? Yeah, but Shane, they should fucking melt him down and see what he has online. He does have some poetry on YouTube. Can you imagine being trapped in an elevator with that asshole?

Shane, they should fucking melt him down and see what he has online. Well, he deleted like 7,000 tweets. They did find that. Is that true? Yeah, but he's not on set. What the fuck does he have to lose? His poetry fucking gig? He could literally have tweeted the N-word for five years straight. I would be like, yeah, get him a job.

I don't care. I'm not trying to fuck anybody. Who gives a shit? That's exactly it. It's selective outrage. I'm not trying to fuck anybody. Who gives a shit? Right, exactly. It's selective outrage. People have too much fucking time on their hands. So this kid just, how does he present it? He just tweets, hey, look.

Hey, look at me, see? He did. He was like, something along the lines of, because they hired a kid named Bowen Yang, who was like the first Asian guy they had really ever, really hired in a long time. And he was like, they hired him, which is great, but they also hired this guy. And it was a clip of me saying.

What awful luck that the first Asian guy had you. That was rough. But to be honest, if they had, you know, got like a Hispanic guy or a Jewish guy or something, I would have had a clip for that. Let me tell you something. I would have had a clip for that. This is what I really respect about you. Because the thing you tweeted out was, listen, I'm a comic. I try out a lot of shit.

Yeah. Which is getting, which brings me back to my point. Like, look, you're probably going to find that I've had some misses out there that I'm not proud of and some hits that I'm proud of that might be offensive to some fucking people.

It's fucking comedy. I know. So this kid presents this on Twitter and says, look what happened. And what happened? So then there's a whirlwind thing. I got a call from my agent because I was on my way to do shows. Who's your agent?

It was with UTA. Oh, UTA. They have since dropped me. That's fucking real. Yeah, they kept Jussie Smollett, by the way. Whoa. What a bunch of pussies. No, they're good people.

Yeah, right. I was at UTA, dude. Yeah. A couple of times. I mean, whatever. Yeah, it's cool. It's good people. I was at UTA, dude. A couple of times. I mean, whatever. Yeah, it's cool. It's a business. I knew it was the whole time.

It's a business, but still have some... God, it just makes me madder. You can't expect anybody to have a fucking spine. Yeah, but yes, you can. Yes, you can. Well, all right. You can hope for it, but you can't expect it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, now, yeah, I mean, maybe somebody out there would expect, yeah, maybe you'll do the fucking right thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, now, yeah, I mean, maybe you can, maybe there might be somebody out there who expects, yeah, maybe you'll do the fucking right thing. Yeah, I know, but. So, so you get a call from UTA. I get a call from my agent and it's like, did you say let the. What exactly did you say? The, alright, I'll say it.

You want me to say it? No, I mean, it's in fucking. I'll try. It's in print. I don't care now. The quote was, and it was funny because she called me on the train while I was on my way to a show. And she was like, have you seen anything? And I was like, no, what's going on? And it's a she.

And it was, she was like, did you say let the fucking chinks live there? And I was like, no. I was like, no, for real. I was like, I would never. And you probably didn't even remember saying it. I didn't remember saying it. But I was also like, no, I wouldn't say that And first of all, it's out of context probably too, right?

It was Of course it is Let me hear the clip, because I would never just say that Of course you wouldn't I'm never just talking the fucking bat So I listened to the clip And it was, my friend was talking about We were just, I had gone to Chinatown

For lunch that day We're talking about how it's i had gone to chinatown for lunch that day right we're talking about how it's fucking nuts down there oh yeah and it is and yeah i mean it was the day there were fucking firework rappers all over like everywhere there was that it was a celebration i don't know what's going on and uh we were just talking about it and then my friend was making fun of how angry people must have been back then when they built China, like put up like a pagoda in the middle of the town. So in other words, so you say as a person back then. As a person back then.

There's even like a, you can hear me doing an old-timey accent. The quote was like, man, let the chinks live down there. So you're making fun of someone who would say that. You're being ironic. Yeah. It got fucking amazing. It's wild, man. It's so stupid.

And the characters were stuck So you're goofing on someone Who would say something racist like that And that's kind of like the whole The show is like, every once in a while We'll be like, Donald Trump's the fucking man We fucking love this It's not real

Again, again, it just makes me Fucking, that makes, I didn't even know that part of it. Because again, like everybody else, I just saw what you said and I'm like, okay, well, what is the story behind it? I mean, the rest of that clip is, and it's on the clip, like nobody ever watches the whole thing, but even nobody even watches the whole clip. Right. But the rest of it's like.

Of course not. Why would they do that? I'm like, yeah, I go down there and I say, get the fucking ducks out of these goddamn windows. It's like, dude, I'm not serious. Yeah, you're a comedian. And then the next part is- You're not a US senator.

Describing me and my girlfriend at the time going to lunch and she accidentally said, she's like, ooh, I'm going to get the neuters. And I was like, yo, don't say that. Like, for real, in the clip, I'm being like, don't be racist. You're the voice of reason. Yeah, it's wild, man. Yeah, so, I mean, it really is like, it's a complete circus now. It's a complete circus.

So, okay, so then your life gets turned upside down. So you find out this news. And so how long after the call from the agent do you get fired? It took like five or six days to get fired. Wow. But it was just five. Of course, all the geniuses meet. What happens is all the geniuses meet at NBC, the marketing people, H&R.

And of course, here's the thing. I did a movie with Norm MacDonald, Dirty Work, right before he got fired as the Weekend Update guy. And, you know, when it was happening, there was all these things. He's talking about OJ too much. Blah, blah, blah, blah. All this bullshit. And back then I even knew it. And looking back on it now, what happened with you is similar.

I'm telling you, people like Lorne Michaels, and I've met Lorne. And look, the guy created the single most influential comedy show of all time. Yeah. You know, and clearly a powerful guy and a creative guy a guy who was once known as being edgy i mean the n-word is an early snl sketch oh yeah you know and again it's being it's it's being what you were being yeah it's it's in a in a joking context and it actually brings them a message across of an anti-racist message. And you can get into all that, whatever. But, you know, ultimately, Lorne could have saved your fucking job.

And he doesn't do it because, again, every once in a while, and I work for a guy that's like this too, Howard is another brilliant guy, Howard Stern. Every once in a while, they'll throw a bone to the people that, because, you know, Lorne can't stand that. Lorne doesn't think you're a racist.

No. Lorne knows you're a funny guy. Lorne knows you probably deserve the job. But he's like, you know Lorne can't stand that. Lorne doesn't think you're a racist. No. Lorne knows you're a funny guy. Lorne knows you probably deserve the job but he's like, you know, I'm going to let this happen because, you know,

it just makes us look good. He's great at knowing the climate of the world, like pop culture, and that's the way it's blowing now. And you were kind of like a sacrificial lamb.

That's my opinion. I think he, yeah, I mean, for sure, in the end I was. I think he, yeah, I mean, for sure in the end I was. I think he was trying to fight to get me on the show. Right. But there's no fight with him. He's the kind of guy, it ends with Lorne, man. And when Norm came on and said, you know, he came on with Howard and said, you know, hey, man, I'll never forget Howard saying this.

And now I understand them. Because Howard knew the deal. He's like, you know, NBC just said Lorne. And Howard's like, no, no, I'll never forget Howard saying this, and now I understand them, because Howard knew the deal. He's like, you know, NBC just said, Lauren, you can't do this. And Howard's like, no, no, no, Lauren could have saved your job. I want you to take some solace in knowing that Lauren Michaels, and a lot of people don't think you're a bad person, you know?

And, I mean, did you ever have a direct contact with Lauren about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He called you. Yeah, I met with Lauren a bunch it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He called you. Yeah, I met with Lorne a bunch that whole week. About the issue. Yeah, entirely. And at the end, how was he?

I mean. We can't help you. He was like, I'm trying. He was saying he was trying to get me on the show. And he was like, if we get you to week one at the desk. Right. On camera, we'll be fine. Like, once everybody sees you and hears you talk. Yes, desk on camera will be fine. Like, once everybody sees you and hears you talk, it'll be fine.

Just tell him the fucking story the way you told him. Did you ever have a conversation with him? I mean, forget the agents and stuff like that, but did you and Lauren talk the way me and you just talked? Oh, yeah, for sure. And you say, look, this is how I said it. This is why I said it. Yeah, of course.

And how does he react to that? He was like, I know, I know, I know. The whole time. And I believe that. He's telling the truth. Yeah. I really, I mean, I've never been mad at anybody for the whole thing. Like, I really didn't give a fuck.

No, okay. Okay, but is that honest? It's a gig on SNL. No, I wanted the fucking thing, of course. And every once in a while, like, before I go to bed or something, I'll be like, oh, fuck, I could have had that. I mean, it's, yeah, it's my, you know. Like, I'll be in the shower or something, I could have had that. I mean, it's, yeah, it's my, you know. Like I'll be in the shower or something because it never happened. There are 50.

I can, I mean, you know, yeah. So it's like every once in a while I'll be like in the shower or something or driving and be like, god damn, I can't believe that happened. I could have had SNL. Right. It's crazy. But like. It sort of is like a fucking dream.

It really is. But that's like, that's a week in, that's an interesting week. Yeah. I mean, it's every day. It's every day. I was on some fucking Vox article today, ran a picture of me and, like, Jussie Smollett and R. Kelly on the cover. Yeah. It's fucking nuts.

But, yeah, it seemed like he wanted me on the show. Right. Seems like he... But, you know, I don't know how the show... I'm new to this. I just... I've been in New York for one year. In the end, how old are you? I'm 32 now. You're 32 know how this shows. I'm new to this. I just, I've been in New York for one year. In the end, how old are you?

I'm 32 now. You're 32? I'm 32. So, I mean, listen. Again, I think at the end of the day, it's Lawrence Call. He could say, look, fuck you. I'm putting him on camera. But I also think at this point in his life, he's like,

I mean, because he was the guy back in the 70s that was that guy saying, he's doing what we're doing right now. Like, no, fuck you. I'm doing what I want to do. And that's the rock and roll aspect of the show. And that's like the spirit comedy should be. And look, it's funny you say that. I mean, getting on SNL now is not what it used to be. I mean, just as some comfort to you.

There's 50 people on it. I can name two. I love Michael Che. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I love Michael a lot. I know him personally and as a performer. But it's like, the fact that you can get

over this means it's not what it was. Because I'm telling you, 20 years ago, I mean, I give you credit, but when you wake up every day, it doesn't fuck with you anymore. No, I mean, I think about it a lot, but it's not like it was ever, like, I was never mad at you. I'm way more mad for you.

Yeah, I know. I mean, the kid who wrote it, the kid who wrote the article. Did you have any contact with him? I've never talked to him. But, like, I also don't, like, I'm not like, I mean, yeah, he's like a dork. But I'm not like, I'm not trying to fucking beat him up or something. Well, of course not. No, I'm not saying that.

It's just like, was his agenda to get you fired, you think? Yeah, definitely. But his agenda is social justice type shit. That's the culture, and I knew that that was the climate I was in. So when it came out, when the clip came out, I was like, oh, I'm... I'd be talking to Lauren like, oh, I'm definitely gonna get fired. Right. No, we're gonna try to work this.

Well, did you think that when the deep dive was going on? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay, which brings us to my next point. I Well, did you think that when the deep dive was going on? Yeah. Okay. Which brings us to my next point. I'm so glad you brought this up. You seem like an insanely smart guy, funny as hell. You're a nice guy, too. But I mean, again, it just pisses me off.

And I'm sure you're going to have a fine career. Ironically enough, this is whatever. You're sitting here with me and Mike. It's a dream come true. So we talked about the Howard Stern show you know, whatever. You're sitting here with me and Mike, it's a dream come true. But, so, we talked about the Howard Stern show just before we got on the air. We were talking about Daniel Carver and a roast. I mean, there is shit. The fact that

I am not in jail, I mean, I was in jail for other things, but for some, I mean, if you took any 10-second clip from the 10 years I was on the Howard Stern show, it makes what you said look like something at a fucking prayer meeting. Yeah, I mean. You know.

Well, that kind of, that might have been where, like, because I watched Howard Stern, ONA, all that stuff going. So that's, you know, that's the type of comedy I've always liked. Absolutely. I liked Patrice and Louis and fucking Burr and all these guys. And then I thought the Daniel Carver clips were fucking hilarious. Yeah, I mean, we had an actual clip. I mean, it's people. We had an actual Klan guy. It was a character on Howard Stern

so we roasted him watching his Klan. YouTube Daniel Carver. He's scary, though. I mean, he was just a guy to laugh at. He was so, he was such a caricature that we laughed. I mean, again, there were some people who didn't get it. Like, in other words, it sounds like

this kid is acting like someone who watched Well and the Family and didn't realize Norman Lear was like an insane liberal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's just, and the other thing it does is, the other thing it does is, now look, I've never had any mainstream success in my life either, but certainly Howard has. He does a lot of revisionist history. But, you know. I'm certainly not

like, I don't feel cancelled in any way. I still make a good living. I'm in show business. At one point, I was on the Anthony Cumia show and on Crashing produced by Judd Apatow. I was on both ends. I was literally on both ends. So there's a place. I think ultimately this is going to help you because

I think people are going to realize how ridiculous it is. Yeah. I mean, anytime something like, again, CNN had a headline that was, like, the cover art for this article was me, Michael Jackson, and R. Kelly. And it's like, it's enough that it was great. It was great for me because everybody's looking at this like, wait, the guy who made a joke on a podcast versus a guy who fucked kids? That is unreal. Fucking insane. It is a little crazy. And the fact that comedians are getting held to the standard where, kids. That is unreal. Fucking insane. It is a little crazy. And the fact that comedians are getting held to the standard where like, I have to make

statements. And there's something else too. And Louis was always a proponent of this and about this politically correct, woke, whatever the fuck you want to call it, generation. Cancel culture. What happens is, like, the great thing about your tweet i reacted to this deep dive thing was like look you're gonna find shit out there i said yeah it's gonna make people not want to take a risk as a comic like the only way to get better is to fail the only

way to get better is to find you got and and the edgier the better like i i would love a comedian should be somebody that someone some guy who works at an insurance company who's not allowed they check his emails and they say one bad thing about a broad. You know, he's done. A comedian should be a guy you go see and you're like, wow, he could say that shit. Yeah. He could get away with at least trying to say that shit. Like Sam Kennis.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was the other, like, I mean, I felt kind of corny for saying like I push boundaries because. Well, I mean, that will happen. That was a little corny, but whatever. I mean. But you gotta, you're defending yourself.

I was in, the pressure I was under to write that fucking tweet was crazy. Like, I literally got, I had. I have no problem with that. I had 10 minutes to write that fucking tweet. I got a phone call from Lauren because NBC was saying, you need to apologize. And I was saying, I'm not going to apologize. Good for you. I was like, I just can't because they're going to find something fucking tomorrow.

Right, well, that's the other thing. That's me. That's giving into a terrorist. Right, well, that's the other thing. That's giving in to a terrorist. That's doing business with a terrorist. It really is. They're terrorizing you. You're going to go, I apologize for this. Now look what you fucking said. And they were like, Joe Jerk off the Poets fucking on his computer. Joe Jerk off the Poets.

Yeah, I was hunting for people all day long. He usually spends he used to spend his time going after Michael Che. Do you think? Oh, really? He goes after SNL nonstop. He's probably a frustrated comic. What the fuck is Michael Che doing? I know.

What is he doing? It's fun to see some liberal kid that went to Columbia or Penn or some shit talking shit on Che who's from the fucking Project. Some liberal kid kid trying to bring down a black dude. It's crazy. I mean, but that's the thing.

It's a real anger that's dangerous. It's terrorism. It's a real anger that's dangerous and it's ruining... Yeah, but it's selective though, Shane, because you know what? They go after certain people like certain people in Hollywood. Well, this kid actually, I give him credit. He's going after everybody. He sounds like a fucking kid who's probably a frustrated comic,

and there's jealousy going on. There's so many psychological things that go on with somebody like that to me. Yeah, but then it gets to the point. Why should this guy get on Saturday Night Live? True. I'm a funny poet. There's such an insulated group of people that are telling themselves, no, we need to change culture by

policing comedians right and they pat each other on the backs and they're like yes this is the right thing to do absolutely i don't i don't think there he was that malicious i think he genuinely believes what he's doing is for the good of which is you might be scarier which is crazy yeah which might be scarier i mean but the fact fact that CNN would go along with that shit. Of course it would. It's clicks. It's clicks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's all clicks. But that's right. Those are the two they put you on with. R. Kelly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not just throw Hitler up there? I was honored to be with Michael Jackson. It's funny. I tweeted out once this shit about this hot black chick Carrie Campion on ESPN, and I

tweeted out that I wanted to pretend I was Thomas Jefferson and she was my slave whipping me sexually. All right. That's a lot. And they wouldn't let me be on Chris Hardwick's show. Oh, what? The car was coming to get me, and the same thing. My agent called me up and said,

did you tweet out something about a black chick on ESPN where you're like her slave owner? And she said, yeah, it was like a sexual thing where she's whipping me. And they wanted me to apologize. And the end tweet, I said, I will not apologize. And I said, I want to point out that I only come when she's released. At the end, I came because she found her freedom.

Yeah, she got out. And I said, any black person getting their freedom will make me immediately a jackass. That's the only thing I said. And the only thing I lost was a spot on Chris Hardwick's dumb fucking show. Yeah, he got cancelled. Well, I mean, again, that's the other thing. They're gonna eat their own, of course. Like Jimmy Kimmel, who I love. Jimmy Kimmel is one of

my dear, dear friends. I love him. He's gotten very political. There's like this mania on the left where they're really obsessed with this whole fucking thing. And, you know, he got very, like, sort of woke, whatever the fuck you want to call it. I don't even know what the fuck woke means. And he's fighting with Sean Hannity.

He's fighting with Sean Hannity, Jimmy. And he says something that any guy would say. Like, a guy would say, like, you're a bottom. Like, a guy who grows up, like Jimmy, he's like a kid from Vegas, a sports fan. He made fun of a guy being gay. Guys do that. Like, oh, you're a gay guy. You're gay.

And he caught shit. And now he's got to apologize. It's like a constant fucking revolving door. He had the man show 20 years ago. So how is that an atmosphere for comedy? That's the point. Like, if you've got to worry about every fucking thing you say how is that an atmosphere to be funny like how was it changed you it doesn't seem like it has no I mean it changed me for like a week or two after

where I was just like because they were coming to shows like the press was secretly recording good shows and carry champion thing they wanted the protest I said I'll send you the fucking ticket yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll send you the ticket. I mean, it's... No, I mean, like, yeah. I never really gave a fuck, and I think that's important to not give a fuck when it comes to making jokes. With that, I'm comfortable making... But has it changed?

So, in other words, like, when you do a gig now where you know you're in the spotlight about shit like this, how has it changed your writing? Like, how do you approach it? Do you still take those risks? Same way, yeah, yeah. Good. Yeah, funny, man.

For sure. Good, because then if you change that, it's like... Oh, no, I'm not gonna fuck up. Then the terrorists win. I'm not gonna be a pussy now. No. But a lot of people would. A lot of people... Here's what happens. And this is a dumb move, you're right. That's a good offense. A lot of people go, let me rethink, let me try to change.

Yeah, this is a learning opportunity for me. A real teachable moment. And it's like You guys Damn man It's crazy Good for you bro No good You should never

Stop reading yourself No it's I mean again You can't If you want more Than seven fucking minutes That could be on Last comic standing

I know You know You have to keep Taking risks And it's And the people that are Doing all this woke comedy or whatever

safe comedy, however you want to say it, they don't have fans. Of course not. They're not doing the road. Except for the poet. He's got some fans. I'm saying he's their fan. And it doesn't mean anything because there's one or two assholes. It really is not a lot of people. But they have a voice.

They do have a huge voice, and there's like fucking 20 people on Twitter just holding corporations hostage. They're like, if you hire him, we're going to fucking boycott this, and corporations are terrified of it. And it is like a confederacy. I burped a taco. Do you guys smell

that at all? No, I can't smell anything with this nose. Yeah, I forgot. While I was saying that, I was like, ah, shit, my bad. You motherfucker. This kid is offensive. You see, now I understand the poet. Again, you know,

the Asian kid on SNL, did he ever talk to you about it? He's so insanely infuriated by it? Well, no, I texted him because I felt horrible. I hope not. No, I felt bad because, like, this was supposed to be a big moment for him, and instead every headline has fucking the word fucking chink in it while he's getting hired.

That sucks. Like, I did feel bad about that. I talked shit on Chris Gethard, and I felt really bad about that. But that was – so, yes, I did talk to Bo and Yang. He's cool. Nice guy. I talked to Bo and Yang. Just the name itself is like, you know, I can't.

I also talked to Andrew Yang. For real. Yeah, he reached out. He was cool, man. Of course he was. He was awesome. Listen, it's like, again, I don't think any rational thinking person, if they hear the context of the clip and just talking to you here, would think you're a bad person. No, it's...

Or racist in any way. And normal people don't give a fuck either. What are your... Do you have... Are you a political guy? What are your politics? Yeah, I'm... I would definitely say I'm left-leaning.

Right, okay. So, right there, you know. Like, I would not vote Republican. I mean, I'm... Right. I also... I kind of fucking... The whole thing kind of disgusts me right now.

I mean, how could it not? It's fucking pathetic. How could it not? It's hard to watch. It's like, you know, it's all, it's, again, a confederacy of dunces is what it is. Yeah. But I just, I'm so happy to see that you're not, you're in any way intimidated by, you don't seem intimidated at all by it.

Well, no, because now there's guys like, see like andrew schultz or like just guy you just do a fucking podcast right set up a patreon make six fucking figures oh yeah yeah go do the road they just build fans do real comedy look at anthony look at anthony like anthony back in the day would have had to go you know roof a house yeah uh he had millions of dollars but uh you dollars, but now with this technology, even a guy like me, too, I could continue to work in show business or whatever. You can empower yourself. Yeah. Which is great.

Is that what you... Are you a guy that's sort of rejecting Hollywood now? Are you sort of like... No. I'd be happy to have a career with that. But you're comfortable in the... Why not the podcast stand-up world. I just wanted to do stand-up the whole time. That's all I've ever wanted to do, and I'm doing the road now.

Most good stand-ups, that's all they want to do. That's all I want to do. That's all they want to do. It's funny we talk about Michael Chia. I remember Michael, I met him when he was younger, and I've always loved him personally, too. Such a good guy, too. He said, I said, what are your goals?

He was like, I just want to get really good at this. I want to get to be a comic that I want to be like Chappelle or something. Yeah. You know, early in that. And that's admirable. Like, that's what the David Tells used to be, you know. For sure. But it is, again, the timing of your life with this technology is perfect in that way.

So you have a podcast? I have a podcast, yeah. What's that called? It's called Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. That's the podcast it came from. That's cool. So it's still the same podcast. I have a podcast, yeah What's that called? It's called Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast That's the podcast it came from That's cool So it's still the same podcast? Same podcast, yeah, yeah I almost didn't miss an episode

That's hilarious From getting hired and fired Almost didn't miss a fucking episode It would have been great if we find that A weekly show This was just a promotional thing for your podcast? Yeah, for real Here's what we're gonna do

It did work out that way. That's what Jesse Smollett would have done. Jesse Smollett, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what he did. It was insane. I mean, think about that. So the agency didn't get rid of it. No, they kept him.

They kept Jesse, yeah. They kept Jesse Smollett after he faked a hate crime. Unbelievable. They fired me. That's how it goes, though. How ironic is it? Way more people hate Jesse Smollett now. True.

But not for the reason he thinks they do. Yeah. For complete opposite reasons. I mean, so, but has there been any, like, really sort of, well, I mean, not like life threatening, but have you ever felt in danger physically about this? No. No, I mean. No, never.

The poets of the world don't intimidate you? Nobody's ever even. Nobody can fight in the poet world. No one's publicly said a word. What if Giggs, really, Giggs have been like... No one's ever confronted me in person ever. You're trying to know badass poets. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, you know, again, I... And imagine Hollywood, too. It's like, again, Hollywood with their hypocrisy is really insane as far as, like, you know, the Roman Polanski thing. Here's a guy who fucking drugged a 13-year-old girl, fucked her in the ass, since then has won a fucking Academy Award. And, you know, Brett Ratner said fag in Australia at a press conference. Rolled it out of his mouth, fag, and he can't produce the Oscars. Crazy. You know what I mean?

So it's like, what is the end? It almost seems like an apocalypse is coming. And there's two show businesses now. There is that sort of, like, whatever the fuck the Masked Singer is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, that world. Well, it's funny. Speaking of the hypocrisy, I was just talking to, you know, history.

I don't know if you know Chris DiStefano and Giannis Papas. Sure. Yeah, but we were talking about the Kevin. Because he's open for me. It's so funny. I love Chris. The Kevin Hart thing where he got fired, or not fired, but from the Oscars, was it? Yeah, yeah.

He was going to host the Oscars. Because 10 years ago. I think he stepped down, right? Yeah. Yeah. But it was enough. Like 10 years ago. 10 years ago.

A homophobic tweet. Yeah, right. The same year that Hillary Clinton said no to gay marriage. Yeah, right. She made a law against gays getting married. And then they were like, we want her to be the president now. Right. He can't host the Oscars.

Right. It's so fucking ridiculous. It's fucking ridiculous. I'm not defending Trump's personal life. He's a billionaire who fucks, you know, goddamn porn stars. I mean, that's the reason two vote for him. But it's like, but you, you, you, you know, again, Hillary Clinton's husband, like, raped a chick and the other one was, it really is almost the fact that some people, and they're getting

a little too political, I think. What do you think about the show SNL now? What do I think? I mean, it's too, it's almost, it's almost like a shill for one political party. Like, Lorne was never like that. He was just about what was funny. Yeah, it's totally pro-Democrat, without question. But again, he'll have Trump on tomorrow, if you want to talk.

I mean, that's my point about him and guys like Howard. They're brilliant guys, but they know the way pop culture goes. They know the way the winds are blowing. He wouldn't give a fuck. He'd have Donald Trump on tomorrow to host the show. Yeah, they did. And he did during the campaign. They had him on.

But again, it gets still now that it's all impeachment, all this shit. He doesn't give a shit. And the point what frustrates me about the situation is you're right. If you got to be on camera, it would have blown over in two seconds. It would have been like...

And that is, to me, that's Lorne taking a stand. If someone like Lorne Michaels says, fuck you to these people, it might start to change. That's what pisses me off about him. He might lose 50 million in just advertisers or hosts or some shit.

You know what? Take one for the team, Lorne. I would have loved it. He's a goddamn multi-trillionaire. But then that would have been a fucking time. Like, I was nervous about that. That whole week. Probably thought we had a shitstorm on it. The week leading up to where he was like, if we can get you on the first episode, we're going to get out of this.

The pressure. I was just like, holy shit. Let me tell you something. The first week. That episode would have killed me. The old Saturday Night Live in the 70s. Same situation. The first show was you doing a weekend update spot saying chinks 50,000 times.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what it is. It's like, fuck you. We're comedians. Yeah. We're comedians. And how does he, I mean, look at that classic Chevy Chase, Richard Pryor sketch.

Of course. You know. John Belushi is a summer. And it's not Richard Pryor doesn't say the N-word. Chevy Chase says it. They even did a, yeah, they even did a sketch like with The Office if it was Japanese. Yeah.

Like two years ago. And it's like, oh, Office at Ru. No, it's like, what did they fucking do? It's like, God damn, man. I wouldn't do that. No, but you know what it is? It's like part of the cool kid group who they think is fits into this group of fucking people. Yeah, but a guy like Lorne could say, again, people say about how the Howard Stern show has changed.

And Howard's almost, he's pushing 70 now. I mean, people go, get over it. He's got grown daughters. He's not going to put a 20-year-old on the city. It's a little fucking creepy. Howard evolved. But the thing is, there's other things he does about going back and changing tapes where he doesn't want to do a gay lisp and all this shit. He's so powerful.

He's like, no, fuck you. I'm the one guy who could say fuck you. And Lorne is on that level. And it would be nice I'll give you the difference. Hunter S. Thompson the writer he, you know, I always put him and Howard in the same category. They were like fuck, you know, the establishment

fuck this shit. And Hunter S. Thompson in the end blew his fucking head off because Hemingway did it 60 and he was like, no, I, I, the, the establishment wanted him in their parties. Like, no, I'm staying in Woody Creek, Colorado. Fuck you. I don't want to beat your parties. Howard in the end. And again, there's what, you know, Lorne is the same way.

They want to be a wasp doing a white party in the Hamptons. It's like, they want to be something. Howard always secretly wanted to be at Jennifer Addison's wedding. We used to say shit about Jennifer. Of course he doesn't want to be there. We're the people who goof on it. We're the people who goof on it. And that's what's disappointing about a guy. This could have been a stance where Lorne Michaels goes, no, this kid's funny.

This kid's funny. And you're wrong, poet and fucking wherever the fuck he is. Artie had a good point the other day. You know what he told me? He goes, well, there's an odd thing. No, but he goes, I hate when your fucking hippie goes like this. You want to be in Logo and hang out in LA to meet me. Not just saying it.

It's just, I mean, what about have you done stand-up in LA since this all happened? No, no, no. Yeah, no. I mean. I would though. I mean, I will go out there soon. Probably this winter. Are you touring actively? I mean, you know, stuff like that. I am, yeah. I mean, you know,

again, it's... It's good that, again, the world with the technology, again, 20 years ago, it's a different story. Have any, like, big-name celebrities like, personally called you even and said, like, you know, I think what happened is... Did anyone have a boss through that? I mean, yeah, I talked to, like, Norm. Yeah. Oh you even and said, I think what happened is wrong? Did anyone have to ball through that?

I mean, yeah. I talked to Norm. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. I talked to Norm. But Norm is not. Norm is a god.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I love him. Of course. I love him. Norm is a comedic god. Yes. But he's not George Clooney. Sure.

No. No one like that. I mean, Andrew Yang was pretty big. I mean, that is huge. That was wild. Yeah. His name rhymes with the kid Yang. What's his name?

They're both Yangs. You already get offensive. This is my life. This is what happens when you do the Carrie Campion joke. It's worth it though. It's all worth it, buddy. This is your future. That would be

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It's crazy. You just stand around. As hard as you've ever been is how hard you get. Where'd you go to college? A couple places. I graduated from Westchester University. Yeah. Outside of Philly.

Okay. Yeah. Right. The Bam Margera. Yeah, band Margera yeah absolutely started at West Point I told the Japs bomb Pearl Harbor it's incredibly hard to get in there to begin with yeah it's like SNL yeah Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Didn't do either of them. They would have kept you for them. Yeah, true. Not what I'm saying, but I mean, you need to send this whole recommendation, all kinds of hudged.

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I enjoy gambling. Are you really a – is your father really a bookie? Yeah. Is that true? He's a small time, but it's funny. He was just – he wanted it to be a secret, but he told me he was getting back in the game online this time. Well, that's the thing. He's running an online book.

And I'm like, you're going to get fucking busted right away. He's like 65. It's like, you don't fucking know how that's the thing. He's running an online book, and I'm like, you're going to get fucking busted right away. He's like 65. You don't fucking know how to use the internet. Yeah, no, I mean, again, I'll tell you what, it's a good time to get clean from the drug game. These fucking drug dealers, these drug dealers, a drug dealer back

in the day when you scored blow or something, they were always late. They'd be there, I'll be there in 20 minutes, man, and like, you know, it's like an hour and a half later, you're still waiting there, and then they're not there, they're in Atlantic City now, man. And like, you know, it's like an hour and a half later, you're still waiting there. And then they're not there. They're in Atlantic City now. You got to go follow them. Now with these fucking phones and GPS, the guy goes, I'll be there in 18 minutes.

I'm like, 18 minutes? I guess the cops will be here in 19 minutes. Crazy. Shane, but that's so impressive. He wants to do an illegal thing. I don't know what he's... Watch what you say. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's having fun. The poet's going to go. True. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. Let me tell having fun The poet's gonna go True, oh fuck Oh yeah, let me tell you something about Shane Get my father Guess what Shane's doing now Shane, that's so impressive

What an asshole West Point, that's like Don't get too excited I fucking quit right away You quit after I cried in boot camp Have you ever finished one thing you started? No

Yes! No Alumni Yeah, yeah, yeah That's a good comment No, I At what point did you want to become a comedian? Pretty early.

Yeah. Like, I don't know, honestly, not, you know, I watched fucking Daniel Carver. I was like, I can do that. Yeah, of course you can. And NBC has a home for that. Yeah. Shane Wilson first came out and went on stage. Uh, 2010.

Oh, no, where? I'm so sorry. Oh, Harrisburg. In Harrisburg? Harrisburg Comedy Center. I'm playing in Harrisburg. I'm so sorry. Oh, Harrisburg. In Harrisburg? Harrisburg Comedy Center. I'm playing in Harrisburg. I'm playing in the theater in Harrisburg coming up. The Whitaker Center? The Whitaker.

Nice. Yeah, I just did that with, I just did a spot with the Creeps with Kids tour. Yeah. Oh, nice. It was really fun. I'm doing the Whitaker in about fucking two weeks. It's awesome. But, you know, again, as you tour, like, you know, Philly, Pittsburgh fans, like people like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They must love this. Yeah. I mean, you're a bit of a rock star to people like that. Yeah. I mean, it's fun. It's fun. Some people get the wrong message and show up and are like, hell yeah, man.

I mean, but listen, their money's green. True. True. Are you worried at all about your future or no? No. Good. You can't at this point. Every once in a while, it'll set in a little.

But no, I'm confident that I can do stand-up. Yeah, absolutely. So that's it. Absolutely. And that's all I want to do. Do you do an hour on stage? Yeah. Have you done a special?

No, I haven't done it. Well, that was another thing that really fucked me when this thing happened, was I had no body of work other than that clip. So there was nothing for anybody to look back on and be like, no, he's actually funny. Yeah. So that's what bothered me. So how did the SNL gig come up? What happened?

Like someone saw you at a club? They saw me at JFL. I did new faces this year. Okay, Montreal? Yeah, I did Montreal, and then I did- I did a new thing they're doing. They're the last time you'll ever see this face. These guys are done.

Yeah. So how long ago was that? That was this summer. So this summer. All this summer. Again, this is how retarded the world is. I moved to New York this year. Because of this?

Because of stand-up. From where? From Philly. From Philly. I was in Philly for like four years. A lot of funny motherfuckers come from Philly, man. Just doing stand-up. Yeah.

And then, yeah, me and Cosby. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Cosby's only getting funny. Yeah. And then, yeah, me and Cosby. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Cosby's only getting funnier. Yeah. No, I did Comedy Central's Up Next, and then Just for Laughs, New Faces. So Just for Laughs, New Faces, where someone saw you. And then SNL had seen me at both of those.

And what was the audition process? You're not a sketch guy. No, you can do stand-up now. No, I'm kidding. I just did stand-up. Really? Mad TV was like five characters. I don't even remember what the fuck I did. Whoa. I don't can do stand-up now. No, I'm not kidding. I just did stand-up. Really? Mad TV was like five characters. I don't remember what the fuck I did.

I don't remember what the fuck I did. So no impressions? No. I have clips online of me acting. Right. So they saw that. Do you do characters? I could, yeah. Impressions or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Besides the Asian guy? Yeah.

That's actually, yeah, I auditioned with that. How many of you guys think of this? I like, something about this is, it's... Yeah, but the thing is, it's clicking. If you auditioned with that 30 years ago, they would have loved, you know what I mean? True. Actually, it would have been hack then. Yeah, yeah, no, exactly.

It would have been hack forever. That's why it's funny. But now it's not, in other words, it's come full circle. It's recycled. Yeah, that's... It's changed, right? That's edgy. Something can be hack enough that it's funny again.

Of course. Because then you start making fun of it being hacky, and then it gets edgy, and then eventually everything sucks. Eventually everything sucks. It does all suck. I mean, it's just a weird climate now. But again, it's so wonderful that this happened to you in this generation where you, where you have another way to go because again, back in a day, that's it,

bro. Yeah. Yeah. If I had to go through just networks to get a career right now, I'd be fucked. The difference, the world is, I mean,

again, look at the movie blazing saddles, but even, but there were movies that again, Mel Brooks, clearly a liberal goofing on the racism type of thing too. Like, like Norman Lear,

but I'm telling you the way the world, the comedies I came I grew up with, try to find on YouTube somewhere a full uncut version of a movie called Semi-Tough with Burt Reynolds. Okay. The hero of the movie says the N-word like in a way

like an asshole would say it. And you're like, I can remember, that was funny. I mean, not even about Jackie Gleason smoking a band of fags. Like, I mean, these are guys that you just, you know, like you love, like you're a hero in the movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, Slapshot, like Paul Newman used to say shit that, uh, that guy, you know, Nicholson used to say shit in movies. Again, they were, they, they didn't care because it was, of course it's commercial, but it was a little, it was some art to it too, you know? So the difference in the world is, do you see it getting any better? Do you think it'll, do you think like stuff like this will ever stop happening in the near future or will it ever stop?

Or will it just get worse? I don't know. I think if Trump wins, which it kind of looks like he's going to in 2020, I think that's going to be bad. I think that'll be, I think they're going to double down on the fucking, because they can't get him and they can't get anybody real, so they get people like comics who are easy. It's like, dude, if you want to get racist, get racist.

Don't get a fucking guy talking on a podcast. It's like, dude, it's wild. You're not changing the world. You're actually making it worse. You're making it worse. Yeah. And especially comedians on any, I mean, you know, again, you could say that what certainly, you know, what Larry the Cable Guy does is worse for society than you saying it.

True. Yeah. Yeah. But people hide behind this bullshit. And again, I understand, you know, I'm not really a political guy and I understand where the left comes from about, you know, why there are problems with Trump. But they're making a fool of themselves. Yeah, they can't do it.

They really aren't. They just fuck up at every turn. Disimpeachment thing is like, that's what they get them on? That's the, you know, it's like that and that's what they go all in for? Yeah. He's going to beat it and that'll be a problem. It started years ago because like 30 years ago they were giving Andrew Dice Clay a hard time. What a nightmare they gave him in the late 80s, early 90s.

Well, it's like, and again, Hollywood's making—Robert De Niro never said a peep in an interview, but now—and it's probably—it seems personal to me. It's like Trump probably fucked a black chick he liked. Right, Mike? Yeah. Real estate or black— Don't say anything. I'm not. No, I'm just saying.

I'll say it. It's over pussy or real—exactly. Shane, just point to me and I'll say whatever you want to say. Yeah, well, for us, it's over. Yeah, nothing. We're in our 50s and we're here already. I got to talk to your dad afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Believe me. Who you got? What did your father, your father, a guy, a bookie, you know, a man's man, clearly. He is. From Harrisburg. He is. In that area. What does he say about all this?

So you call your family and go, I'm on SNL. Wait, guys, two days later, I'm not on that area. What does he say about all this? So you call up your family and go, I'm on SNL. Wait, guys, two days later, I'm not on SNL. Well, that was the thing. This was the first thing in comedy I could tell my parents that was cool. I mean, the biggest thing. That they understood. In a way, right, because they're the generation where SNL was. But also, I told them, I got JFL.

They're like, what the fuck is that? Like, nobody outside of comedy knows it. It's a huge festival of But still it's like yeah, I mean this is fucking live Yeah, when I got to call and tell them like I got Saturday Night Live that was fucking nice my dad He was just like the first thing he said he was like how much are they paying you right? It's like sketch comedy late night is not it's not a barrel of money Yeah, true still it leads to you could become you know yeah, but the first thing he said was how much are they paying you? not a barrel of money either. Yeah, true. Still, it leads to you could become, you know.

Yeah, but the first thing he said was, how much are they paying you? He wasn't like, fucking congrats. Yeah. Well, he's a good man. But then he waited. Then the first night they recorded me doing stand-up, like, after I got fired or during the thing, I'd made a joke about Trump getting shot. And that it would be a funny assassination. Like, even, I don't want it to happen, but the footage would be funny.

Something along those lines. And they recorded it and sent that to Fox News. Wow. So then my dad saw that, and then he called and was like, what the fuck are you doing? See, Fox News is probably on your side with the cancel culture shit. They were on my side until that bit.

And then they were like, this guy's canceled. Now he's an asshole. See, but that's, it just shows, of course they are. But that's CNN, MS, they all are. They're's canceled. Now he's an asshole. See, but that's it. They're hypocrites. Of course they are. But that's CNN, they all are. There's no more news. All the caravansers making money in the media, that's all. There's no more news, bro. There's no more news. They just fucking,

they don't report what happened. It's Chris Cuomo or fucking Tucker Carlson's take on whatever. It's also wild, like, you hear all the fake news stuff and all that, and then I was part of it. Like, they were just running quotes that were not even quotes. Yeah. They're just making up quotes.

Like, Real News was writing this. Right, right. Fake quotes. Like, who was doing it? Like, CNN type stuff. Like, CNN and Fox and shit. And you see, both were fake news. The one quote that just kept going around is, why are there so many chinks in Chinatown?

That's unbelievable. Was my quote. I think that's what I heard. I know. You're actually ruining it. Yeah, it's crazy. They ruined the quote that ruined your... Yeah.

They just want to show media that fucking greedy fucking assholes. What about anybody else? So, I mean, listen, you know, I don't know what people... How many people are on SNL right now? How many cast members are on SNL? Oh, I don't know. I don't know what people... How many cast members are on SNL now? How many cast members are on SNL? There's a lot, right? I don't know. Have you talked to Michael Che since?

I have talked to Michael Che since. Michael Che is really the only one. Chris Redd. Yeah. Yeah, I only talk to the black guys. I'll tell you what. After that Carrie Campion thing, I thought for a second I was in trouble with the Chris Hardwick thing. I went down to the Comedy Cellar, and Che, Keith Robinson, Shirai, Artie Fuqua, they all took a picture with me.

And said, this is ridiculous bullshit. And it's like, bye. Like, Che was in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because real funny people, again, they have a sense of humor. They understand, too, you know. Yeah. Also, I made fun of Asians.

Yeah. So black people are like, yeah, hell yeah. Fuck them. Good point. If you're going to pick one, you know, people. Yeah, I think I tweeted out, I called an Asian midget Peter Chinklage, and I'm still getting a lot of work. Oh, God. I got a band on Twitter, Shane.

What? No, you're not. What the fuck did you say? No, shame I got I got I am I swear to God I got a lot of August fighting with idiots on there just when people have it they banned me but you were fighting with you're one of them yeah you're fighting monsters and becoming a month like this poet I wonder what this do you think this kid is proud of what he did do you think this kid so you think he really thinks the cause is like helped do you think this kid is proud of what he did? Do you think this kid... So you think he really thinks the cause has, like, helped? Do you think there's other asshole friends as they get together at the cafe with his friends Noah and Tippin? No.

And travel together. And now they talk and they go, yeah, good, high five. Good for you. You got that scumbag fired. Well, I bet they can't give each other credit. I bet they can't do that. Of course not. No, I bet they're too insecure for that.

But, I mean, that was the biggest thing he's ever done yeah was get me fired yeah from that but since then every time he tweets like a million people are like shut the fuck up which is pretty fun to watch what do you think this is social media and now he's claiming he's being harassed right because people every time yeah I just wonder what goes through someone like that, Brantley. Like, he clearly, you said he was fucking with Michael Che, too, so he's obsessed maybe with SNL. He's obsessed with UCB.

And he finds out you get the job. Yeah, I'm the last guy they wanted to get the job. Finds out you get the job, and it's like, do you think he finds that? And he goes, like, I mean, just wow, I could do something like... Yeah, everybody's going to notice me. It actually gives me douche chills

I'll show you this guy's stuff after It's fucking insane We should read his poetry Actually, his poetry's okay If you don't know that he's a douche If I just saw that poetry I know, it ruins it I'm telling you, he's okay

I'll botch his poetry on purpose I don't think you have a choice Now he's going to botch his poetry on purpose. I don't think you have a choice. No, he's going to botch his poetry. Thank you, Mike. Thank you for doing the botched character. Yeah, but I mean, so you know, we're going to have three poems. I'm not going to know which one he wrote.

And I'm going to pick it out. All right. I just, I just, I just. That's a good test. I love that. What is his background, that kid? I think he was from Philly or around Philly, too. Wow, so he must be getting bullied his entire life. I think he might have done open mics when or around.

Of course. Now the clutch. I never knew him or met him. I never knew him or met him. Because even amongst open micers, he sucked. Now to plot Dickens. He's an open miker. He's exactly who you think he is.

Yes. He's everything you think he is. Whoa. But if it wasn't him it would be something like i would have got fucking hit on something no matter what you think so yes wow it took my podcast is a lot of us fucking it's just okay i mean again but it's like is it like the old stern show is it like i mean it's not crazy like we don't say the n word or anything so that's also you were doing a character me and gil Gilbert Gottfried, as long as we were doing a redneck voice,

we said anything we wanted. Yeah. And actually Howard was like... Even Howard was like... It's like when the Gambino's told the Westies you're out of line.

No, that was my thought process. I was like, look, I never said the N-word. Right. I should be fine. Do you know how many times I've said the N-word? I have a stand-up

where I say it 80 times. Yeah, I've heard the basketball bit. Yeah, the basketball one. The basketball bit. It's so good. Thank you. how many times I've said the N-word? I have a stand-up where I say it 80 times. Yeah, I've heard the basketball bit. The basketball bit. It's so good. Thank you. So good. But again, the context of it is, that's based on a real story. I was playing basketball and they were going through the ball. And you fucked up.

What if I say that? Yes. What would happen? And I get my ass kicked. And again, I think I just, guys like me and Jimmy Norton, not that he's ever – again, I'm not trying to put anybody in my asshole category either. I don't know if they want to be. But, in other words, I think I was the last generation where I think I have an audience that's loyal enough

to where I could keep making money doing stand-up, doing this and doing stand-up. I just pray that that continues with you because you deserve it. I think I'll be all right. I mean, this was year one in New York. Hopefully next year we'll see what the fuck happens. Hey, man, rock and roll. I think you have a lot of people in your corner. Yeah, I think so, too.

I mean, just count me there, dude. I mean, I don't know if you want my help. Anyway, anything I could ever do for you. Okay, cool. Probably in a year from now know if you want my help. Anything I could ever do for you. Probably in a year from now, I'll need your help. I'm saying if you need, you want to do gigs, I mean,

it would be a sympathetic crowd. For sure. Tell me about your podcast, Parker. Is he a comic friend of yours? He's a comic from Philly. He kind of stopped doing stand-up He didn't really like it that much But he's just fucking hilarious

A guy you knew as a young kid or a teenager? No, I met him when I moved to Philly Like four or five years ago So you moved from Harrisburg to Philly at what age? After the West Point debacle? Yeah, yeah, after that So I went to West Point, failed Went to Elon in North Carolina

Right I played football at Army and Elon What position? Offensive line Army? Yeah, yeah, yeah Like a tackle guard? I quit right away, guard

Yeah, alright Quit immediately Shit was hard You're a comedian, dude Yeah, yeah, yeah I've quit everything I've ever done Went back, sold cars in Mechanicsburg Right

Which is all just like college for comedy Yeah, it was nice And then I went to Spain for a little bit. Oh, nice. There you go. Taught English in Spain. Yeah, nice. And then I got back from Spain and decided I really wanted to focus entirely on stand-up.

And then you moved to Philly. So I moved to Philly to just do stand-up. And then... Doing like Helium and all those clubs and everything. Yeah, Helium. And then like moved here this year. So many funny people from Philly. Yeah. You know, like Kevin Hart, Jay Oakerson, all those clubs. Yeah, healing him. And then, like, moved here this year. So many funny people from Philly. You know, like Kevin Hart, Jay Oakerson, all those guys.

Chris. Oh, yeah, man. Chris was on my old podcast. I love Chris. Chris was on my old podcast a lot. Great friend of his. His wife is the sweetest human being. Actually, I should talk to you about that because I want to put a show together for his wife.

Yeah, I was talking to some people if she needs a little cash Chris Cotton so well loved I think he was 32 as well well listen I'm so glad I met you because I love you I love you

I'm a fan you never know when you're going to meet somebody. I was afraid you were going to be this wishy-washy, like, you know, I fucked up. No, no. I didn't think you would be because you have guts. I'd like to scuttle his balls. You're exactly. Let me tell you something.

For what it's worth, and I'm a junkie who's got a record, but in my opinion, you're exactly what you should be. Thanks. And again, I just wish people like Lorne Michaels... The only way this shit is going to stop is if someone like Lorne, who is a legend, and I'm trying to be complimentary here to him, the guy is a legend and for good reason, would say, fuck off, Shane's on the show, here's his first sketch, and now let's move the fuck on.

And let's see, maybe I suck. Yeah, well, listen. Maybe I suck. I might fucking suck. Listen, maybe that's why I should hire you. Maybe we're going to, you know. It's a hard situation. It would just be nice to see that. Because you said, what if he loses $50 million? Lorne Michaels has nothing to lose.

I know. He has nothing to lose. And you're being diplomatic. Not that you're being phony. I don't think you're being phony. No, I like Lorne Michaels. Yeah, yeah. Like, personally, he was a nice, cool guy.

Yeah, and I believe that he was rooting for you, but ultimately, he makes a decision. Sure. And it would have been nice to say, fuck off to this shit. Maybe somebody will have balls one day and say, fuck this. Me and you, we can't help him. Eventually, it's going to happen.

I was hoping it was going to be me. But somebody will finally be like, hey, fuck you. Somebody will say, fuck this. Me and you, and we can't help him. Eventually it's going to happen. I was hoping it was going to be me. But somebody will finally be like, hey, fuck you. Somebody will say, fuck this nonsense, and it's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. For sure. And Powell will go, I'm tired of this nonsense. For sure.

Who knows? Maybe you'll be involved with that down the line. So what do you want to plug? How did we find the podcast? How did we find you? Just Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. It's on anything. Anything you'd find podcasts on.

And what's your social media? At Shane M. Gillis. At Shane M. Gillis. At Shane M. Gillis. Shane, I wish you luck down the road, bro, and I hope to see you down the road. Thanks a lot, man. Thank you for having me. I need your father's number. Me too.

I like the Redskins. Okay. Mike, thank you, buddy. Thank you. It was great to meet you. You look way better there, much more agile. It's comfortable. Fat guys need the space.

We'll see you next time.