Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 19 - TIM SABEAN

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

Artie Lange and Mike Bocchetti interview Tim Sabean, former Senior VP of the Howard Stern Channels!  Presented by TheComicsGym.com  Thanks to MyBookie.ag - If you're going to wager this weekend go to bit.ly/MYB-Artie and use code Artie to get a 50% signup bonus. Thanks to Blue Chew. Go to BlueChew.com and get your first shipment FREE (just pay $5 shipping) when you use the promo code ARTIE”.  Thanks to Tommy John Underwear.  Visit www.TommyJohn.com/Artie for 20% off your next order of the most comfortable underwear ever!

Hey, we're back with Arty Lang's Halfway House, another episode. Of course, I start off with every episode, getting to know Mike a little bit. Mike Boschetti. Mike, you changed your shirt for the first time in two weeks of the show. Oh, yeah. I wanted to get more professional on it. You got me on another level now. The black is very slimming.

Well, it's not slimming enough, but I mean. I know. If you wear enough black. And by the way, a big thing coming up on the show, we're going to put Mike in blackface and he's going to be Justin Trudeau, the prime minister of Canada. And that's fine. Your career will be fine, Mike. I'll be, I don't give a shit.

We just have, if someone has a truckload of blackface to cover Mike's face, we need basically Al Jolson's entire tour bucket. An entire minstrel show of blackface we're going to put on Mike.

But Mike, are you having a good time? Everybody loves you on the show, Mike. Thank you. Well, can I sing Sweet Low, Sweet Chariot? Try a little bit now.

Sweet low, sweet chariot. He just said sweet and low. Perfect. Sweet low, sweet chariot. Everything's sugar. Perfect. Sweet, low, sweet, chow. He just said sweet and low. Perfect. Sweet, low, sweet, chow. Everything's sugar. Perfect. Okay, my guest today is, first of all, you know, like a lot of my guests on the show, a very dear friend, tough motherfucker, a guy I respect, and a guy I worked with at

the Howard Sternjoit series for my last four years on the show. Loyal, talented at what he does, part of the empire that Mel Carman and Howard built, without question, from Philly, the legendary YSB in Philly, and that's how I met him. The great Tim Sabian is here. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you so much, Artie. It's great to be here. Thanks for coming on the show. For any Stern

fan, a really radio fan, an interesting guy, give me your background real quick, because I want to paint the picture a little bit before I get into it. You're from St. Paul, Minnesota, small- town guy. I grew up a poor black child in the east side of St. Paul. Like Steve Martin in 1920s? In the 20s, yes. Don't trust Whitey. Exactly. No, I grew up on the east side of St. Paul, and my father was in the business, in the radio business, and literally, I grew up in a radio station. I spent every single dying moment that I wasn't in school at the radio station. I spent every single dying moment

that I wasn't in school at the radio station. And I thought all these cool people hanging around, having fun, fucking with each other. Radio's fun. The way you guys did it. I said, that's the business I want to be in. I want to have fun.

What was great about the Stern Show was we're the money. We're on the floor. You know, you got high-pitched Eric coming in eating shit out of a midget's ass. And Beetlejuice sitting next to a nun. And we're doing all this crazy stuff. And then you got the sales guys where you guys were.

And they weren't rock and roll. They were suits. But Tim was different. Tim was both of us. Tim was rock and roll. Thank you. It was just, I understood it from a different perspective. And because my dad was in the business, I wasn't in Tim.

What exactly did your dad do? He was, first of all, he was in the business, I wasn't in... What exactly did that do for you? He was, first of all, he was in the Navy. When he got out, he became an engineer within the radio station. Then he became on-air. Then he became the program director. Then he became the general manager. Then he got into station ownership. Then he helped build... So, you know, sales, the other side of it. Everything. Everything.

Mike, by the way, I've said this as a gravy seal. You know what I mean? It's good to come in like that as a business person and an artist. So you understood both sides of the table. I totally understood the artist, understood the business part of it, and I wasn't intimidated by it, and it was all bullshit. It's all fucking bullshit. And you know what else you understood?

I'm going to give you a big credit here because a lot of suits, like we call them suits, and you weren't one, but you had to wear one. I hated it. I hated it. And you fixed that. I love you. You look like a lumberjack. We love you.

Yeah. We're currently sewing two tuxedos together for Mike to wear. I should have started him right. Rick Rubin looked like ZZ Top would appear in the fucking t-shirt. The guy who started Def Jam and sold to Jay-Z for a trillion dollars. And I love Rick Rubin. But I'm saying, yeah, Mike is right with that analogy. You do get both sides of it.

But what you got about me too and my issues, which a lot of people didn't get, was the addiction I was going through. Like you understood that I had issues that maybe needed more compassion than a business. You never left my side. You were the guy, and I'm going to give you my history with Tim. Tim was basically the guy who had to call me and say,

Art, you can't come in anymore to the Howard Stern Show. It wasn't even Howard, and I don't blame Howard. I don't blame anybody. I put people through hell. I'm a heroin addict. Howard didn't know what to do. Howard tried to save me. That's my story.

But Timmy was the guy who had to call me. Now, I'm on the show nine years at this point. I love the fans. We had a love affair. A I'm on the show nine years at this point. I love the fans. We had a love affair. A beloved guy on the show. I love the show. It's everything to me, and Tim has to say it can't work anymore. How hard was that for you? It was an

emotional rollercoaster, and I'll tell you, one of the things was because everybody loved you so much, and you were a brother in the place, and you took care of everybody. Somebody needed something, Artie was there. Artie was there. It was crazy. But then when you went through this, and Mel Carmesan asked me one day, he said... Mel was always

nice to me. And he said, is he on drugs? I said, fuck, I don't know. He's tired. Again, being a soldier. But Mel, again, I feel bad. Howard, you, Mel, everybody I work with, from Benji to Freddie to Robin to Gary, all victims of mine.

They're victims of my addiction, too. Guys who love me, who took care of me, who now are watching me die. I was an active junkie on the biggest radio show of all time. But everybody was sleep-deprived. Everybody was tired. You get up at 4 in the morning, everybody's up. I don't know how you guys did it. I go to bed at four in the morning.

It was horrible. And you would go to bed at eight, nine o'clock. And if you didn't fall asleep, I felt so much pressure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So people would ask me, what's wrong with our lives? I don't know. Everybody's half asleep. You know, it's like, what the fuck?

Yeah. But what I want to get into first is, so where you fit into that Karmazin Stern empire that became Infinity and Viacom and all that stuff. You were, for a long time, the program director and the general manager of both at YSP in Philly. Yep. Okay, let me explain how important that is, the cog in this wheel, okay? When I was just a fan of the Stern show, I knew Tim Sabian's name. Because Philly is the first city Howard syndicated

to. That's the first city he went to before LA, before Chicago, before Boston. He went into Philly first to try it out. How would it work in another market? And I told Howard this all the fucking time. I go, Howard, the New York fans are great. The Boston fans are great. LA, we are bigger in Philly

than anywhere in the world. Bigger than in our backyard in Long Island. And you're a big reason for that, dude. Tim Sabian knew how to take that show and basically run our biggest affiliate and make it hum. Those shows, the first time I met Tim, me and Stuttering John and Nick DiPaolo going to do a Christmas show at a legendary venue in Philly, the Electric Factory. Oh, fuck. Selling out in like a minute. Oh, God.

Because Tim knew how to promote. At the show, I get to meet Tim Sabian, which as a Stern fan is now I'm on the show. I'm headlining this show. Sold out Electric Factory Philly crowd. And I meet Tim, who was like meeting a celebrity because I knew Tim. And I hugged him. I said, Tim, so nice to know you. And from the get-go, you were great.

Yeah. nice to know you. And from the get-go, you were great. So how did you get from this kid in Minnesota to meeting Mel Karmazin and Howard and getting that important cog in the wheel? How were you running the Philly station? I just kept getting fired from every job I had. Which is Howard's story.

No, but I really did because I thought out of the box and I didn't give a fuck because I knew how to make these things work. You're an old school guy. And Mel recognized the only person that I could work for. First of all, I'm how to make these things work. You're an old school guy. And Mel recognized the only person that I could work for. First of all, I'm unemployable. Totally unemployable. Look at the tab you're sitting at, dude.

You're number three in that race. But the thing was is that Mel was the only person that recognized me for who I was and what I was about. It was able to take me by the fucking horns and get my attention. And then I saw what it was. And he does that.

He was fucking the best. And everybody was intimidated, but I loved it because I'm a street kid. I understood fucking what it was to be tough. And that's what Mel needed. Mel needed it. Howard was a tough guy. And back to this day, maybe, even though Howard's politics or whatever, his view on life has become a little more politically correct. And that's fine.

You evolve. Maybe it's easier to get sponsors now. But you guys, you original salesmen, you guys, you know, it was hard to sell the show because of the content. Edgy shit. So mainstream sponsors don't want to go there. But you were part of the team that said, I can sell the show. And it was fearless.

You had to believe. And if you didn't have it in your head, you didn't have it in your heart. And if you didn't have it on your lips, you can't fucking work in this organization. And that's how it was. It was like an army. When I went to Philly, Howard was getting his ass kicked from John DiBella. John DiBella was the Z-Morning Zoo kid.

Are you kidding me? Howard was being eaten up by him? At the first time. But that train came. But the thing was, the station was so fucked up, and nobody believed in Howard. It was like this. So I got everyone, first of all, to believe and corrected the positioning on the station, drove fucking Howard in every other day part, and all of a sudden, ba-boom, it took off.

Getting the right sponsors, guy. But it was interesting because I'm in a new business now where it's a startup. Oh, forget it. The whole world is. It's so hard. But Howard was a startup, too, and the people that we went to were like Snapple we went to dial a mattress we went to people that were also startups Steven Singer Steven Singer people that feel good what it was yeah to bootstrap

something to have a fucking set of balls to get involved in something that was a new phenomena right and that's and that's what no instead of going to the institutional stuff like McDonald's or United Airlines and, fuck, damn. Who are on their high horse giving people diabetes every day? Howard sold the living shit out of these products and made

Snapple what it is today. You would buy a minute read and Howard would do an hour goofing on shit. And the thing is now, I'm in a company now where, you know, I focused my 40 years of my career on the content between the commercials, you know, and that the more you, you, you involve yourself with that and the better it gets, the more expensive it is and never focused on the commercial part of it. And, you know, now I'm in a company where

we focus on building the commercials, the commercial stop sets. That's where Howard was fucking invaluable selling products and getting people to engage. He would talk about your product for an hour. Totally. With 14 million people. And weave it into the fabric of the show. Yes. Yes.

Exactly. He would make it a bit. Totally. But, okay, as a salesman for that show, and I always wanted to get, this is a big question that I always wanted to ask guys like you. All right. You took people's money who were, basically didn't have a voice anywhere else because they were edgy products, we'll say.

Okay, my favorite sponsor of the history of the show was something called Sphincterine. Sphincterine. Sphincterine, Mike, you're going to need this. It's an assment. If you know you're going to have a sexual encounter where your asshole gets eaten out, Mike, if you know this,

and you're asking, you'll have to pay $1,000. Don't look at me, motherfucker. If you know your asshole is your asshole gets eaten out. Mike, if you know this, you're going to have to pay $1,000. Don't look at me, motherfucker. If you know your asshole's going to get eaten out, sphinctering was a mint you put in your asshole, and it made your asshole smell fresh. So you could get it. Okay, that was how it's done. The Johnny Carson

radio would do that commercial. Okay, paint a picture for me. You're with the sphinctering people. You meet with them. How does that conversation go? You have an ass mint. You have this product. Well, there was another one. There was another product, too, that you would ingest a pill, and it would make

your semen flavorful. Oh, God. You know you're going to get blown by a black kid's watermelon flavor. Yeah. Disclaimer. Italians like garlic. But the thing was, it was just so incredible, and Howard,

well, the clients, we had to fish where the right fish were, and the people that understood it, because there were a lot of clients that, oh, I can't believe he said that. Well, get off the fucking bushy wagon. I gotta tell you one thing. The only commercial that was too edgy

for Howard to read, the only commercial was Ashley Madison. For younger people, you know, Ashley Madison was a website where if you want to cheat on your wife

and she'll never find out, we'll hide the information. And then they got hacked. They're just, exactly. We met the guy from him, right? They got hacked

and all these names got thrown out there who were cheating on their wives. We met the guy from him, right? Howard was just about to get married to his new wife, Beth, and he wouldn't read that commercial. They said, okay, now the salesman would have to go, it's not Howard, it's Artie. So I said, I don't give a fuck. I'll read it.

So I read it. That's the only time Howard said, I'm bailing on it. But sphinctering, Ashley Madison, making your cum a certain flavor. Fuck 7-Eleven. Fuck McDonald's. Exactly. And that was Mel's mantra is know your business, know their business, make 15 calls a day, and fish where other people aren't fishing.

Find out entrepreneurial-type people that are like minds like we were. Yeah, but how do you get this important gig? How do you evolve? And do you meet Mel to where you run in Philly, where you run in YSP for hours? Which is as big a job as New York. I took WYSP from where it was to number one in the market. It was the only classic rock station with Howard Stern

on in the country that went to number one in the market. Which at the time is the 27 Yankees of lineups. It was unbelievable. Then we got the Philadelphia Eagles and Mel came to me after we went to number one and said, would you be interested in running K-Rock? I guess he goes, can you do it?

I said, Mel, you do 27 stations. Why can't I do two? And so I had two. And my cocky fucking arrogant self, but not arrogant, but cocky. But the thing was I got involved in it, and I have such a passion for this business and more so for the people because if you win, I win. And I want to see you excel and succeed and be the best that you can be. And I want to inspire people to greatness and to doing great things.

And I love when I would sit and listen to the radio station and hear this one do this or that one do that. And it would send a shiver up and down my spine. I just love the performance. The Stern Show, by the time I got there, we had so much power. Howard had so much power. The creative juices that surrounded that show. We'd have a creative meeting every Thursday.

Nothing was off limits. You could pitch anything you wanted. So we'd come up with this crazy bit, like anal ring toss, where a woman comes in. We put a stick in her ass and I throw rings at her. I love Howard's movie. Again, which tells a story. But then you have to go to the salesman and say, can you sell this bit?

We're doing this insane bit where a stick is in a chick's ass and we're throwing rings at it. We're throwing bologna at a chick's ass. The world's biggest hemorrhoid contest. We go to a salesman in a suit, can you sell this? And you guys are the warriors who go, yeah, I'll fucking sell it. But that was the whole premise of the thing. The world's biggest hemorrhoid contest brought to you by who's going to do that? Snapple.

We never hired anybody. It was casting. And I used to tell Howard this all the time. It was like, you know, let's cast this. What do you mean? I said, let's find these people that have it in their head, in their hearts, and on their lips. Yes. And that live and breathe this 24-7. I would have interviews at 6 in the morning

with people because I want to see them if they could show up on time. Right. And I would relentlessly. So you'd be hiring a sales force. During the morning, if they can't show up on time, because we all started, I would start my day 3, 3, 4 o'clock in the morning and go until 8, 9 o'clock at night. Also, when Tim was an old school guy before this Me Too bullshit,

if a client wanted to go to a strip club and get a steak, Tim brought them out. Tim fucking took them to get another of this fucking market. I love Howl's movie. One of my favorite moments in his movie was when he told Pig Bum to fuck off. But there's so many fucking assholes in this industry that they want to be the star. And I love the general managers in some of these radio stations. They're so fucking jealous of the talent because they're getting all the recognition. And this guy's in the back office taking all the—

You've got to know where your talent lies. No, but it's like— I couldn't sell a fucking ring. I couldn't sell a thing. Exactly. I'll tell you what I'm good at. I'll tell you what I'm not good at. But I'll get it done.

I'll figure it out. I'm good at the world's biggest hemorrhoid contest. I'm making it funny. It's just hard not to do. at, but I'll get it done. I'll figure it out. I'm good at the world's biggest hemorrhoid contest. I'm making it funny. I just try not to do it. But okay, so here we go. So now I'm going to try to tell this story because a lot of people don't know what I'm about to say. We're riding out all the success, and then the Janet Jackson thing happens. And see, Justin Timberlake, that moron, pulls her fucking—the coolest thing he ever did.

Wouldn't you? The coolest thing Justin Timberlake's ever done. Fuck his music. Duh. Is pull fucking Janet Jackson's shirt off on the Super Bowl. Okay. But then CBS aired that, which is Viacom,

our company, Infinity, Mel goes before Congress, all this shit. Oh, God. Censorship comes down. Now we're getting fined. I'm looking at the fucking fines. 500 grand

because Artie made a fart sound. Fred did this. And Howard, the show's getting cut up. Everybody is under attack. fucking fines. 500 grand because Artie made a fart sound. Fred did this, something, it cost him, and Howard, the show's getting cut up. Everybody is under attack. So now Howard's thinking about leaving radio.

And then out of nowhere, Sirius Adelaide comes out. A new form of radio, okay? Not terrestrial radio, a pay form, you know, and this technology's

starting to come, so now you're not the only option in the game for a guy like Howard Stern. So it breathes air into him. He signs his legendary Sirius satellite deal. Howard's leaving. The company is all in disarray.

First guy he goes to to run the station at Sirius, because there's going to be ads sold and stuff like that, Tim Sabian. That says a lot about you. You're the first guy he called. I want Sabian to do it. Well, he called me up. I'll never forget this. And it was both he

and Don on the phone. Don Buckwell, legendary agent. Awesome, awesome. Also a very nice guy. Oh, God, I love him. Very nice guy. I love him.

Don was always sweet to me. And so they called up and said, would you be interested? I said, well, first of all, my wife will never move to New York. Right.

You got a life, Dan. And I lived in Mike Piazza's house. I bought his old house, you know. So you had to take all his gay stuff out of it. Oh, yeah, no. But it was, I had a great life, Dad. And I lived in Mike Piazza's house. I bought his old house, you know. So you had to take all this gay stuff out of it. Oh, yeah, no. But it was, I had a great lifestyle, and I was going to retire. When Howard left, I was literally going to hang it up.

Like a lot of the guys. So, yeah, so I was like, fuck it, I'll do something else. So I went up there, and I was so fucking jacked and jazzed about what it was, my head wouldn't stop thinking about this, that, and the other thing. And my wife said to me at the time, she says, we'll do it for five years and we'll come home. And I'm like, okay. So I get up there, and it becomes encompassing. I'm literally sleeping on the floor in my office.

It's a lot of work. Because the promise was, you know, it's a pay service, but there were commercials on the side. Yeah, I started in September of 2005, and nobody was there except myself. They handed me a budget, and here's the budget, and here's the number in the lower right-hand corner, and here's what you have to work with. Now build it out. So I exhausted Howard about what he needed because nobody was there, and I had to build this thing out. I built it out.

I literally slept inside the fucking office at least two nights a week because it was so much to do. Yeah, you were there a lot. Five years went by like that. And then Howard resigns. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah. So now my marriage goes to fucking hell. You know, that was.

Stuff, sacrifices are made. Exactly. And your wife's very sweet. You stick with them, right? Yeah. So then, you know, it was just one thing. My parents got sick. So I literally, I went to Howard and I went and took a leave of absence.

Yeah, you needed time. It was, I've never been through the death of two parents. I've never been through it. Life throws shit at you, man. You see Bocchetti with his shirt on by accident. That'll stain you. That'll stink. But listen, so one other part of the story I want to say,

and this is one that hasn't been discussed a lot at all. Okay, so Howard leaves. Stuff's in disarray. He announces a year and a half before we take the job. He announces it. So now for a year, we know we're leaving. Regular radio, like the tent pole that was the Howard Stern show is not holding it up anymore. Guys like you are figuring out what your future is, and of course you were lucky.

But before Howard makes that call with you, here's how hard your job is. Okay, I get a call your job is. Okay. I get a call from my manager one day. This is about a year before we leave the regular radio. And they say, Tim Sabian called you. They wanted me and Gary DeLaBate, Baba Booey, to leave Howard. Basically, fuck him over. Oh, fucking assholes.

And now Tim is the one who has to make this phone call. So, but again, being a man, it's America. I have to find out about this offer. So the offer was, they wanted to give me $5 million a year, I think, for four years, which was way more than I was making on Stern, but who cares? That's that dumb fuck Joel Hollander.

You got that? Joel Hollander. Yeah, yeah, Joel Hollander figures Artie and Gary will produce it for like a million a year. So now it's not the Howard Stern show, Artie Lang show produced by Baba Booey. So they think we're going to defect. Tim has the awful job of bringing that offer to me.

And then, now listen, I immediately said no. Gary immediately said no. I don't give a fuck about the money. I made a lot of money. Howard let me do whatever I wanted. I loved Howard. First of all, if it was, if Howard was giving me a buck a year, I wouldn't do that to him. And it's a bad career move anyway. But Tim, so I get this offer to fuck over Howard,

and I have to somehow tell Howard, I don't know if I could have done it face-to-face, I'm leaving all this money, and guaranteed money, by the way. It would have been $25 million if the show lasted a week. And then in their brilliant mind, they hired David Lee Roth for two weeks. That's what I said. I'm getting the fuck out. I remember the call.

So Tim had to do that. So describe that. What happened? So I get the call one day after, when Howard announced that he was leaving, all the shit and shenanigans.

Shit hit the fan, literally. And I had it all worked out where I could have hired Preston and Steve in Philadelphia, but they didn't want to allot the money to do so.

The brilliant minds there at the time. Yeah, yeah. Literally. All these radio names and then joel hollander with his shenanigans he's a big guy at the company infinity in his own mind right uh and so and and i i sent howard i was going through some files that i had i found a deck that i put together to pitch to upper management that you know what the value is of howard and so forth yeah and because It's amazing you even have to explain that.

But this was my M.O. and they wanted me to replace it. So, okay, here's what I was going to do. But the thing with the show, how I believed in him, I said it to him about maybe a year ago or nine months ago, and it was just so, like, I believed in that guy and I would go into markets and set him up in Chicago. And the management would be like, oh, we can't sell him. So now I said, well, then, you know what? We got the wrong guy.

Because you knew the Midwest, too. Oh, fuck. I believed in what we were doing and believed in the mission. But there were so many fucking underhanded, dirty fucking things going on. So you have to say to me and Gary, do you want to do this? And me and Gary respond, okay. So, you know, of course that's not going to work.

But then what they do in their infinite wisdom, and again, Joel Hollander, by the way, one of the guys who made the decision after 20 years and Howard making him a billion dollars, here's a bottle of wine. He gave him two bottles of wine. Douchebag. Douchebag.

What about renting out the garden for a tribute to him? A bottle of wine, whatever. He says to me one. What about renting out the garden for a tribute to him? A bottle of wine? He says to me one day, I used to wear a suit and all that kind of shit, out of respect for the position and all that kind of thing. It's my job. He walks in and he says, oh, you're the schmuck that wore the suit. I'm like, and he's lucky I didn't get

up from my fucking Minnesota fucking back. And I know you. And drop that fuck. I wish you were going to turn into Joe Patrick. No, but fuck the wine. Here know you, yeah. And drop that fuck like a, you know. Well, okay. Sorry. I wish you were going to turn into Joe Pesci with that. No, no, no. But fuck the wine. Fuck the wine. Here's the bigger issue.

They hire, after a nationwide search, to replace Howard Stern on the radio, David Leroy. Oh, I got the call. And they guarantee him $8 million. I'm like, okay, here's how crazy that is. If Van Halen, Eddie Van Halen and Alex Van Halen went to Howard Stern and said, we're touring the world for three years. You're the new lead singer of Van Halen, Howard Stern. That's less crazy than making David Lee Roth.

The greatest was the morning that they had Billy West on, or Billy Mira. Oh, yeah, yeah. As David Lee Roth. And it was like, oh, so spot on. That was actually a joke that started early. Oh, my God. It was so good. And we wrote all these jokes for him.

But that's how horrifying it was. Who, what, you gotta be literally retarded to get the lead singer of Van Halen, who might be the most annoying person on the planet. I've met David Lee Roth. Yeah. Talented as hell. Incredibly smart man. Yeah.

And the first Van Halen, fuck everybody else. Okay. They're the best. But that is like making Howard the lead singer of Van Halen. Yeah. I mean, that's what it's like. So that lasts two weeks, and then they got to pay him. I think it lasts two months.

I wanted to get out. Literally, Howard and Don, when they called, was literally like a godsend. And I really, I didn't know if I wanted to continue doing this anymore. Okay, here's the other part of the story. Okay, so all that shit happens. Me and Gary say no. Timmy is like, you know, whatever. We got to move on.

The smoke clears. Howard obviously loves you, calls you. So now we all end up in serious. Okay, 2006 comes, okay? Tim's with us, running the station, doing the ads because you decide to make this decision. your wife, five years, all this. Okay, me and Gary say no to that stupid deal. We come, Freddie's there, Rob, and the whole gang is there.

Now we're at Sirius Satellite Radio. Okay, describe that time, because a lot of people say to me, that's the best radio in the history of radio. Those first four years, because if we had uncensored, it was fucking a blast. Let me tell you something. There was a story. When I was a kid, radio was my thing.

I just couldn't get enough of it. And there was a station in St. Paul, Minnesota, KSTP AM, I think it was. Yeah, 1500 KSTP and run by Chuck Knapp. And he had, it was Chuck,

Chuck Knapp and Knapp and Donuts in the morning. It was Machine Gun Kelly in the afternoon, Smoking Joe Hager at night. The Catman. Everybody from Alcatraz. No, it was like the Catman.

But the point is that he casted this thing with all these characters, and it was so incredible. Then my dad takes me to L.A., and we visit the great KHJ, one of the great legendary... Legendary stations. Like a BCN, a YSB.

Exactly. With the real Don Steele, Mother Love and all this kind of stuff. The real Don Steele. And I was like fucking in my glory. And I thought, this is my opportunity to do that kind of radio. And that's what we did with the Howard World. We created an environment, an ecosystem that was so unique, so compelling, so just unbelievably powerful. And I'll tell you a story.

We launched the, and I was literally, I was, I probably slept a total of two hours a night for the September, October, November, December. Right. And then when we first launched it, Howard and I were on the phone. Crazy. I remember that New Year's Eve from midnight to about four in the morning. New Year, oh five going to go six. Exactly. Talking about, because5, 06. Exactly.

Talking about it because he could finally go on the air now. I was in Turks and Caicos with my girlfriend Dana. We did New Year's Eve party at his house. But this is how it went. Don't pay no attention. So listen to this. So now we launched the channels. We had Howard 100, Howard 101, and they were cooking along and this and that.

Even I. There's two channels you got to run, buddy. I hired this guy out of out of Australia who is fucking brilliant he's one of the most greatest producers it was like yeah it was like this guy was I kept an eye on this guy for so many years because he was brilliant and he was so unique and I wanted to hire the most powerful the biggest the best the most unique people I could get and we put this thing together.

We did it with the heartbeats and the launch of the thing. And the heartbeats got faster as the time to launch the channels. So we launched the channels. And about a month into it, Howard calls me from the car. And I'll never forget this call as long as I live. He says, Tim. I've had a few of these. He says, Tim, I've got to tell you something.

He said, I'm listening to these channels, and it's better than I ever, ever even expected. And I literally almost, I get welled up now just thinking about it. Look at how into it Timmy is. That's the real thing. He's going to fucking cry. But it's so poignant. No, it was like,

that was worth any fucking, keep the paycheck. That was it right there. Of course. Howard laughing at shit I did on the radio and telling me I was funny is... Keep your Oscars. As a comedian, that's what I want.

In your world, that's what that is. Exactly. And I never got a fucking... I've been doing this for all my life. I never got one goddamn award. Not even a cup of coffee.

Come on. Swear to God. They're giving, you know... I don't want one. They're giving awards to fucking the dumb fucking asshole show. And Howard Stern... I mean, because of jealousy. Because Howard didn't play by the rules. And I never played want one. They're giving awards to the dumb fucking asshole show.

And Howard Sturgeon. Because of jealousy. Because Howard didn't play by the rules. And I never played the game. And Howard never played the game either. And that's why I love the man. Outlaw. When I did the show, when you guys brought me in.

It's known as the worst show ever. His hairdresser called and heckled me. Well, he did that with everybody. No, he said, I don't like these guys. It's funny. You know what Howard said to him? He's hanging with us. Leave him the fuck alone. I'm like, well. Let him have shouldn't. I don't like this guy. He's funny. You know what Howard said to him? He's hanging with us. Leave him the fuck alone, Ralph.

I'm like, whoa. Let him have it. I pushed that mic on the phone. And Ralph is, what's the word? Oh, an asshole. Ralph is good. Yeah, whatever. He's good. Whatever.

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But listen, let me tell you something. Okay, so now you get there. It's going amazing. It's humming. And listen, I have to admit, my issues come up, and it makes everybody's life difficult. And I could not be more sorry for that. I do my four and a half years. And now again, here come what Howard's a brilliant marketer, even more so than a brilliant comic. He's brilliant

in both. He's a genius comedian. He's a genius broadcaster, but what a self-marketer. He's great at knowing how the winds of pop culture are blowing. And my type of humor might not be good for that show anymore. I think he saw that coming, and he never would have fired me. But heroin, what are you going to do? So now I leave in the worst of ways. You go through that emotion. Now there's a new invention with the show because now that chair is empty, blah, blah, blah. Not a big deal, but just I was part of the fabric of the show, whatever.

And now here comes political correctness. So describe—and then he fires the E! show guys on the air. was part of the fabric of the show, whatever. And now here comes political correctness. So, and then he fires the E! Show guys on the air. All the television guys. Those E! Show guys, man, let me tell you something. And I'm not here to bash Howard, because I love him. But just from their perspective, those guys were loyal soldiers to him, man.

Underpaid, underpaid, like pirates. The E! Show guys knew his sense of humor. Guys like Doug Goodstein, DePace, Robin Radzinski, Ganji, Richie Wilson, Isaac, all these guys, like, they knew the show. They knew what made him laugh, and they made him laugh. They made a great show,

and he fires them on the air. He fires them on the air. That's how they find out. And so now it's almost like the new era's here, and Howard's changed him, and a lot of geniuses are like this. And Howard is a genius. He's got another level of a brain.

They have the ability to cut you out. No matter how, and you know, you were important to him, but now he's got a complicated life. And now my new life is here. And now you're cut out of that process. I,

he had to do it with me. It was all my fault. I argue for the e-show guys, man. And I argue for the E! Show guys, man. And I argue for other people. Okay. Describe your part. Like, how does your,

like, how do you leave the show? All the success happens. You're loyal. Just be as honest as you want to be. I'll tell you the truth. So what happened? When he decided to bring this Marcy and whatever. So Marcy Turk is someone who comes in.

Howard reads this book, Getting Things Done. It's almost like a cultish thing. Yeah, we had. And he hires this woman that's going to run his life, basically. Exactly. And I just, I can't play. She's not a comedy person. She's not a radio person.

I can't do reindeer games. She's almost like a Rasputin. Like someone who comes in, gets Howard's attention. Yeah, it's like, I don't know what the fuck happened there. But anyway, it was enough. I had enough. She seems like a con artist. Total.

But the thing is, is that, you know. So now, you, the reason I want to give Tim's resume with radio, how impressive it is. So now you're going to people like you, and even Baba Booey, Gary, to a certain extent, this amazing producer. Now here's someone who's telling you how to run a radio show. Who was an assistant to a guy who wrote, she how to run a radio show. Who was an assistant to a guy who wrote it? She didn't even write the book. She's an assistant to a guy who wrote the fucking book. She's making comedy decisions.

It was great. One of the greatest compliments ever was from Gary before I left. And I love Gary. Gary said to me, he said, Tim, I can't believe all the things that you have accomplished in this place. And no one could have done what you've done because you're a unique individual. And it really—

Howard doesn't make phone calls just to make them. He called you for a reason. But it was an amazing time. A lot of guys could have got that gig. But the thing is, Artie, you have to understand something. You know, that was yesterday, and that was a time in our life and all that. So you moved on, but, I mean, it was a time where you had bitterness. No, I really didn't because I was so distracted by my parents dying.

I was so distracted. It was really hard going through a divorce. That was hard. It was like if you could invent the perfect storm, I had the perfect storm. I've been through some perfect storms personally. People didn't understand. They thought, what the fuck? And I try to keep it to myself, and it was really, really hard.

But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And that's what I told you before we started this podcast. But now you are bigger than all of that. You really are and can be if you keep your shit together, number one. Number two, but it's a rocky story in the making, you know, and you have the ability to inspire people and to pull people up rather than push them down or to beat them down or to make them feel lesser. Because you're the type of person that you're every man's man. And I'm serious. I appreciate that.

But you have that opportunity and that ability if you play your cards right and do the right things. You've got a second chance at life. A 15th chance in a lot of ways. But that's very nice of you. No, but it's true. It's very true. And you're a that's very nice of you. No, but it's true. It's very true. And you're a great storyteller. Thank you.

Tremendous storyteller. Well, see, this is the Tim Sabian. This is why I love talking to Timmy and having him on. He's not a guy who abandoned you. He's a foxhole friend, bro. I got your back. You know, it's like a few. No, I know.

And let me tell you something. He also calls you on your shit, but he's a man's man. You're the same type of guy. How do you find out you're not on the stern anymore? How did that end? Oh, I went in to tell Howard that I says, my dad's dying. I'm going to take a leave. Well, did you clear?

I work for the company, so I had to clear through the company first. Your dad's dying. Yeah. And he says, well, maybe we should just part company. Wow. Is that how it happened? Yeah. Tim, I never knew that.

Yeah, that was harsh. It was that. So you're sitting alone in a room Tim, I never knew that. Yeah, that was harsh. It was that... So you're sitting alone in a room in Howard's office or whatever. That hurt. And you say, I need to leave absence because my dad's dying. Yeah. Okay. Now, look, not to defend Howard at all, but this is what I'm talking about.

Howard has the ability as a guy who says, maybe it's over. And he got to that point with me with heroin. He goes, what am I going to do? Artie's going to die and I don't want to watch it or enable it. But, dude, see, that's a guy who's successful. He's like, now it's over. I don't care what the personal issues

are. We've run the gamut. No, but the thing is that I think that he had bad influences around him. But Howard doesn't have to listen to anybody. No, he doesn't. The one guy who Howard does listen to is Don Buchwald. And Don is not that kind of guy. You get so wrapped up in your own bullshit and, you know,

when you live in a world like that where you're so protected and you're so, you know, cut off from the real world. You're the best. You're the best. A lot of sycophants. Exactly. And I tell it like it is. And sometimes you don't want to hear it, whatever. And that was, it was, I never knew how grueling that job was until I got out of there.

But you, yeah, I mean, and you were in a unique, you were in uncharted waters. No one did anything like that. It took me three weeks to about a month to recoup, literally to sleep and to get my soul back, my spirit back and all that kind of thing. And I, and I was like, wow, what the fuck? Yeah. Because you really get into that mindset and that environment. It's a bubble.

Yeah, and you don't understand that there's another world out there. And all of a sudden, you look out like, holy fuck. And people are afraid to leave. But you know what you have? You have talent. In other words, Howard always used to say, like, you know, Riley Martin, why can't I have more money? Because you have no one else who wants you to do a show. The way capitalism works is someone else has to want you.

And who wouldn't want you in their life, business-wise? But the thing is, it's like, I'm my own person and, you know, I have strong... I know, I'm sure, yeah.

But it's, I love what I do, but I'm not going to put up with fucking bullshit. No. I'm not going to do it. You can't because, I mean,

but just describe a little bit of what Timmy's responsibilities were there, too. Oh, it's intense. At the show was, on top of it all, if fans will remember this, Howard also got rights in a lawsuit to the tape, all on top of it all, if fans will remember this, Howard also got rights

in a lawsuit to the tape, all 30 years of tapes. And that dated back to NBC. So Tim has to put together a tape team. You also have to put together, how do I present these tapes? Like, you're running the shit.

The whole channel is going to be old school tapes, a best of channel. On top of the regular show. The greatest was when I went over to Howard's house in his apartment,

he's got an office downstairs in the lower level. And I walked in this room and I saw these tapes from floor to ceiling. Oh, my God. And I got this shiver down my spine because this is like gold. Howard got 30 years of tape. I saw Desi Arnaz Studios written all over this all over again. You know, like I love Lucy for the next. The Desi Arnaz story is amazing.

Back in the day when I Love Lucy was on, I loved telling this business story. Desi Arnaz, Lucy's husband, who was, you know, Ricky Ricardo on the show. CBS says, we want to do the show in New York. That's where the kinescope is at the time. He goes, no, I want to do it in L.A. And CBS says, well, it's going to be $5,000 more a week to do it in L.A. We don't want to do it. So Desi Arnaz says to CBS, I'll take the $5,000 out of my salary, but I own the show. And they don't see TV syndication

they go what are you going to do with the show it's nothing it's like an old shed take it I saw that Howard's 30 years is a version of that and when Ted Turner bought all of MGM's library I thought the same

it was like oh my god here's a huge opportunity so then we went through and assessed what we had all of MGM's library. I thought the same. It was like, oh my God, here's a huge opportunity. So then we went through and assessed what we had, and then we got the tapes from HCBS. Which is a whole job in itself. Oh, yeah. So I went and hired all the guys from VH1 that did I Love the 70s, I Love the 80s, that entire thing. And the entire staff.

We hired the whole fucking staff. Yeah, good move. Because that's exactly what that is, telling a story. Three years, they captured everything, they digitized everything, they created voice to text and all that, so it was searchable.

A massive undertaking. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Invaluable. So we built this because my vision was to create, and this is before

I think even apps were really apps, and we wanted to do, like I thought when Howard left. Not appetizers, Mike. Exactly. Easy on the food. So my vision was that we would create an app

and we would have all of this archived legacy content and we would use Howard 100 News to keep it relevant. So it's like, hey, Mike Buschetti, you were on the show back then. What are you doing these days? So you would tie back in. Right, right. Because you would refer to those tapes. Exactly, because people, and then I was developing shows

like with Gary and Geek Time and all these kinds of things that were really starting to take off. Back Office Radio was one of my favorites. But even, again, Howard's brilliant, brilliant mind to give people like Riley Martin their own show. Oh, he had.

Eric the Midget. He had a set. Ronnie the Limo Driver is on show. Sour Shoes. Like Sour Shoes. Showing off all Yeah, yeah. Showing off. Such funny shit.

But there was such brilliance that went around because people, one of the greatest writing meetings ever was when we were in the meeting talking about bringing in Joan Rivers. Oh, wow. And Fred, you know, very quiet. Fred Nars, a genius. Another fucking genius. Absolutely. Unbelievable.

Yeah, yeah. God bless Fred Nars. Yeah, so Freddie, you know, very quietly, it comes to his turn to present, you know, genius. Another fucking genius. Unbelievable. God bless Fred Norris. Freddy, very quietly, it comes to his turn to present in the meeting. He goes, I say we get a coffin for Joan Rivers. We measure her for a coffin. I went,

in the fucking room, everybody just stopped dead. Quiet. Then she died two weeks later. Fred probably killed her to make the idea look better. Exactly. Let me tell you something. Okay, Thursday afternoons after the show, we'd have pitch meetings, have writers' meetings. Okay, I'll describe what those were kind of like.

And this is how creative we were, like how the juices were running. Benji, an underrated character, would always pitch great stuff. He knew Howard's sense of humor. So George Takei was our co-announcer. Sulu from Star Trek, a gay man. All right, very gay. George had the ability to make anything sound gay. I'd be next to him on the show,

and Howard would say to George, George, Artie's eating pancakes. Is there a lot of syrup on it? And George would go, oh, it's dripping. Oh, and immediately you got a heart attack. Oh, my. Oh, my. So he's very gay, into the whole gay thing.

So, no one's more of a, like Tim points out, sort of a slob man as me. Man, man. So, Benji says, why don't we have people come out, why don't we go one-on-one with a hidden camera and a hidden microphone, come out to George Takei? Like, and then tell him it's a joke. Like, see, like he was so gullible. Yeah. And that idea came down to what if Artie with hidden cameras in Sal and Richard's office comes out to George Takei. So I thought about it for a month. George will come in

and go, we're set up for the bit. We've got the hidden cameras. I'm like, I don't know how to do this. So finally I said, I'm going to go all out. So I went in with a hidden camera and I'm like, I'm going to go over the top and see if he falls for it. So now me and George Takei are alone in a room, hidden cameras in Sal and Richard's office, and audio and everything, and I go, George, listen, I have to come out.

It's killing me. It's driving me crazy. I've been gay my whole life. I sucked off a comic 20 years ago on the road. He blew me. I blew him. We fucked each other in the ass. And I think George is going to go,

oh, you're joking. And he goes, listen, I'm with you. If I leaned in, I could have fucked George Takei. If I leaned in, I could have fucked George Takei. If I leaned in, I could have fucked George Takei. And I don't love comedy that much. That's a whole new book.

So I'm like, I think he would have kissed me. But he was so supportive. He was so nice. He's one of the greatest of all time. Such a great guy. He goes, tomorrow on the Stern Show, you're going to come out in front of the world, and I'm going to be there to hold your hand.

I'm like, oh, my God. So now, this is the only time I ever did this. I call Howard up in the afternoon. I go, Howard, we can't do this, dude. I go, this is a gay man. He had to really do this in life. He had to really come out to a guy. We're goofing on that.

I go, and he goes, if you tell him you're fired. Like, kidding around. Like, you know, I'm just saying. No, you can't. It's the greatest bit ever. But this is how much power we have. So, Howard, in his brilliance, the next morning, I'm like, how is he going to present this? George thinks, now picture this, George Takei thinks that I'm about to come out as a 48,

45-year-old man. No, I'm at the time, I'm 38 years old. The biggest slob, blue-collar Jersey guy, homophobic material, you know, I've been in trouble with the gay organizations. I'm going to come out on the biggest radio show ever next to him and he's going to help me. Instead, Howard goes,

and in a brilliant way, Howard presented it perfectly. Artie's not gay, George. It was a joke. And I think George is going to punch me in the face. He invested emotion in this. I'm with Artie. George is the real deal. Here's what George says. He goes, oh, invested emotion in this. Like, I'm without you. George is the real deal. Here's what George says.

He goes, oh, you scoundrel. Like a villain in Columbo. He said, oh, you scoundrel, and then hugged me. He goes, wow, that's great acting. I think you are gay. We would go out to dinner on several occasions, George and his husband Brad. I mean, that's what we were doing on the show. That's the power we had.

Ideas like that would be pitched, and we would do it. I came out to the guy. Anybody? Yeah. But everybody there was just great, great people. Just great people. One of the greatest staffs ever. And they knew the sense of humor.

Yeah, it was cast perfectly. And just when you look back at it, it was a moment in time, but that was yesterday. Today's today. You got to move on, and Howard is great at doing that. Listen, and I haven't divulged this anywhere in detail. I called Howard about a year after I left. I left him three messages, and I said,

Howard, not about even coming on the show. I had just gotten out of rehab. I said, I want to try to just say sorry to you. Can we just talk? And he never called me back, and I said, you know what? That's on me. That was my fault. They tell you in rehab, when you're a heroin addict and kids, when you're trying to do, if you're thinking about doing heroin kids, listen to me right now, listen up big time. You lose your soul and that causes you to lose friends and family. And I said, my, my, my

counselor rehab said, listen, Howard's of, you Howard's a tragedy of this because it's your fault. Your addiction, he's not in your life right now. So I backed off. When Howard's book came out last year, he was very nice to me in the press. I love Artie. I hope he's okay. So everybody in interviews, I talked to TMZ. And I promised TMZ, I said, if I call Howard, if I reach out to him personally,

because I still have his number, you know, it's on me. I should want to, you know, arrange it. Even just off the air to say I'm sorry. I'll let you know. I told TMZ, you'll be the first to know if it's like a scoop because they wanted to know about that. I've never called him and I haven't called him. And here's why. I really think Howard moved on.

I don't think Howard wants to call me. I think it would be a burden on him and I don't want to put Howard in that position. All right, I'm going to tell you something. So my idea is not to call him. Okay, let me tell you something. First of all, number one, stop living in the past. Number one. That's number one.

Number two. I owe the guy an apology. No, number two, stop being Robin. Start being Batman. I'm not kidding. Stop with the fucking bullshit and looking for his approval, your father's approval. No, I get it. Believe in yourself.

I believe in myself. Believe in yourself. But it's a guy. Stop. The way I just said I'm sorry to you, Tim, because of what I put you through. I appreciate that. No, but I appreciate that. But you know what?

I never really got the chance to tell Howard like I just told you personally and now I'm sorry. Believe in Artie. You know what? You know, fuck everybody. You think that how many people were there when you were going through your... And it was tough. Believe me. Well, you were there.

And Howard was too. But again, eventually you just got you. You're alone in a jail cell. Eventually, this is what happened to me. Eventually, everyone had to leave because they have their lives. I don't expect them to. It would be stupid of me to think that. And selfish.

Now I'm alone in a jail cell and I soul searched and I got clean and I feel better now one day at a time. But let me tell you something. What am I going to do? Like the other day, you know, because we scheduled this on Monday and you called

and it was literally, I got a shiver down my... I know, I know. You were worried about me. It was a legitimate thing. No, and I got a shiver because, and I'll tell you why,

because I would go, when we had hiatuses from the show, I would, you know, something would happen where you got DUI or this or that, and Howard would freak out because I was already laying for the Howard Stern show. Of course. Then so I'd have to untangle.

What are these things going to happen? I've been on nine years. But I'd have to untangle these messes. And I literally would go to Italy or I'd go to Europe. I'd go to fucking my dirt bike trips all the time where there was no cell service. Because I couldn't handle it. It was like I couldn't handle it. It was like, I couldn't handle the... And Tim,

I'm getting a chance to say, I love you, thank you, and I'm sorry to you. And that's what I want to say to Howard. All I want to do is sit down with him at a diner, for a warehouse location like the Mafia. For two minutes, I want to hug him and say, now that I'm thinking straight, Howard, because I never got a chance to do this

sober. When I was calling him, I was still fucked up. I want to say to him, Howard, I think clearly now. I love you, thank you, and I'm sorry. I'll hug him, and I never have to see him again. But if that doesn't happen, here's the thing, Tim. Let it go. I can't let it go. Because I'm happy he has.

I really am. Yeah, good. I really am. So you should, too, because you, once again, have more power right now than any other fucking entertainer in this fucking business. Because of the trials and tribulations you've been through. And if you can fight your way through this and you can be a survivor, you can be a champion in this field, in this life, to be an inspiration to people. Are you kidding me? To take them by the bootstraps and give people a hand up rather than fucking beating them down and abandoning them when somebody has a problem instead of running away from everybody

start running towards them yeah start helping people you're replacing oprah no that was the worst thing you could have said mike thank you tim you are this is why i love you but but it's true this is why you're a great friend and a great salesman that that no it's not sales it's true but how do you go that's what i'm saying inspireman. No, it's not sales. It's truth. That's what I'm saying. Inspire. Inspire. But it's a gift. When you can help somebody and inspire somebody,

that's a gift. That's a gift. You feel good about yourself and you take that away. And why fucking keep bashing somebody in the face? No, because... You know what?

Fuck. You'll get to look like mine or my face. That's hot. Tim's right. Unless the strip of face... I haven't got to tell you. The past couple of days, you know, people have been inboxing me.

People who are addicts. What does that mean? No, no, no. Seriously. Is that a gay thing? No, no, no. I was inboxed last night. No, no, no.

Seriously. People on Facebook have been inboxing me messages. People who are addicts were telling me how much you're helping them right now. I'm serious. But that's why, you know, you have the ability to change people's lives. Of course. But I gotta change mine first permanently.

Exactly. Exactly. But you know what? Or try permanently. Make yourself happy and if you're happy, everyone else will be happy around you.

But you have to focus on you. And it sounds selfish. It sounds self-centered. You gotta be selfish at some point, bro. Fuck everybody. All the people that took advantage of me

and this and that and my alleged friend. Dude, you're a survivor. No one can keep you down. I'm not worried about Tim Schafer. I love what I do. And I surround myself with great people. And that's what it's about. And I draw love from them and support from them, the people that really care about me.

And it's, I can kind of imagine. Consider me one of them, dude. Thank you. When's the last time you talked to Mel Carmisen? I saw him at Eddie Moyer's funeral. Eddie Moyer, yeah. God rest his soul. Another legendary sales guy.

One of the best, yeah. One of the, it was like Mad Men, you know. Oh my God. No, that's the time. That's a perfect way to put it. It was like a Mad Men mentality. Exactly. When men were men.

Mike, listen. Let's read this. You didn't read this last time. Read that. Okay. Read these, read both of these. Mike, listen. Let's read this. You didn't read this last time. Read that. Okay. Read these both. Read both of these. You've got to get people to talk about this podcast, to tell their friends, to tweet and retweet. Say, listen to Tim.

He's a master. And literally send the links. Send the link. If you really care about Artie and you care about Mike Buschetti, take the fucking link and send it. This is the history of me and Tim Sabian. The first person who ever said to me, Artie, can you tweet something, is Tim Sabian. I thought he wanted me to give him a handjob.

I don't know what the fuck that is. Is that wrong? Twitter came out and said, Artie, can you tweet something? I'm like, what the fuck do I tweet? I used to tell how we talk about social media. I don't want to give my content away free. I'm like, no, it's the free sample on the door. It's breadcrumbs. It's like a heroin dealer says the first one's free. You keep coming back.

Speaking of heroin dealers, Mike, go ahead. Hey, everybody, all our friends and new fans and people who love us all across the globe. Read the paper. Catch every episode of Audie Lang's Halfway House for free at comicsgym.com. Okay, go to the next one. Seriously, that's important. It's free. It's free.

This is a free podcast. Plus, it gives you insight as to what happened in the real world, but also what's going forward. And I would focus, once again, going forward. The reason I called Arty Lang's Halfway House is because it's going to be people, interesting people. And that's who you meet in a halfway house. It's going to be interesting people. Mike, read their second thing there. And special thanks to Fanny Company for helping secure sponsorship.

And to Pro Media Studios in Times Square, New York City. We love you guys. We love Pro Media. Repeat that. Okay. And special thanks

to Fanny Company for helping us secure sponsorship and to Pro Media Studios in Times Square, Manhattan. All right. Let me read some plugs here. You know plugs, right? Okay, I know plugs.

Let's do it. This is what pays the bills. Okay. New Year's Eve at the Egg in Albany. The Egg Theater in Albany. I'll be there New Year's Eve doing my, this is my stand bills. Okay. New Year's Eve at the Ague in Albany. The Ague Theater in Albany. I'll be there New Year's Eve.

This is my stand-up gigs. New Year's Eve at the Ague Theater in Albany. January 3rd and 4th at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Friday, January 10th at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey. Saturday, January 11th at the Whitaker Center in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Friday, January 24th at the Keswick Theater in Glenside, PA. Saturday, January 25th at the Mock Chunk Opera House. That sounds sexy.

In Jim Thorpe, PA. January 31st and February 1st at Levity Live Comedy Club in West Nyack, New York. You can also get these at rdquitter.com. So, Tim, describe your professional life now. What are you working on? What are you doing? Well, I own a radio company. We have 15 radio stations. I just sold eight of them.

We've got seven left. So, if you're in the market, I've got seven that you should have 15 radio stations. I just sold eight of them. We've got seven left. So if you're in the market, I've got seven that you should have today and today only. Absolutely. But it's a good little company. It's Sovereign Communications. Also, I invested in a company called React.net. React.net. We are adrenalizing and gamifying advertising.

Like I mentioned before, I spent 40 years building content between the commercials, now focusing on where the money is in advertising. And we're kicking off our first product, which is called Super Squares, which will launch with the 2020 NFL sports season. Good. We are the game you play while the game you're watching takes a break. Right. We adrenalize advertising, give you a chance.

We'll give away a brand-new car every single week. We're going to give you a chance. We'll give away a brand new car every single week. We're going to give away a chance at $1 million. All you have to do is watch two 15-second ads, answer two questions about the ads, answer two questions about the game, and you win a super square. You play the box score where you write your name in. So we digitize that. So you'll have a chance at an incredible prize every single week. And it'll be, once again, the game you play while the game you're watching takes a break. It's a second screen experience. We're totally revolutionizing and energizing advertising for the very first time for people that are bold, that are willing to really differentiate

themselves from the world. This thing is really going to be an incredibly huge, huge platform. We're conditioning people to react to advertising rather than to be distracted by it or turned off by it. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, listen, again, technology, man. Absolutely. But again, to be someone who survives in this business, someone like you, you've got to move forward.

But it's like in radio or podcasting even, it's a push platform. What we create is two-way conversation. So all of a sudden now we create this engagement about the content. We create engagement for the advertiser. We have analytics that back it up, that show the performance. Because on television, on radio, when you buy ads, the old quote was, I guess, from the guy that had Walmart. Same one. I buy, you know, millions of dollars in advertising.

Half of it works. I just don't know which half. So now you're going to know exactly what works, what doesn't work. So you're pinpointing the research. Like, who actually bought what? I mean, again, technology, man. But we, like, for example, if you see an Anheuser-Busch ad, we'll ask you a couple of questions about the ad and what they want to get through. Like, what are the components that make up Budweiser beer? You know, wheat, barley, rice.

You know, we'll ask you a question about that. Right. Okay. So the participant. Oh, it's that detailed. So the participant will sit there and they'll walk away with knowledge, engagement, rather than just, you know, you see an ad on, I see maybe a logo. Now all of a sudden we're pulling you into the experience. So it's a whole different thing. And that's why even radio stations, I would,

not that I want to program a radio station again, but I would like to take, you know, and make them engaging and make them interactive and gamify them and reward the people. 20% of all our revenue in my company now, we give back to our viewers, our listeners, our participants. So for gaming, it's that. Now, listen, I mean, Tim, your energy with shit and the way he sells it, I mean, it's amazing. I'm sure it's a great thing. That's like how many crazy you had

he's screaming to the fuck trying to sell shows like that in 1965 my dad took me to see the Beatles and we went backstage

and I met them all I thought holy fuck this is incredible and then I was a kid and I went to WNBC and I met Howard Stern and I saw the vision

of the thing the Beatles of radio and I gotta be a part of that and I was a part of that and it was great I met this gentleman by the name of Frank Maggio about two years ago, and I saw what he was doing. I thought, oh, my God, I got to be a part of this.

This guy is so fucking brilliant. Like I say, I'm unemployable. Mel was the only one that I could work for. This is the second version that I could ever work with, and this guy is brilliant. And when he showed me what he had, I was like, oh, my God, I've got to be a part of this. This is the next evolution, revolution, disruptive, incredible platform. Disruptive. I love that word.

Because that's what the Star Show was, disruptive. Totally. And that's been my whole MO. And this is going to revolutionize the business. And you're going to read about it, see about it. We went and pitched it to CBS television. We went and pitched it to CBS television. We went and pitched it to the NFL, and they're like, wow. They're literally gassed by it.

So if you're interested and you want to learn more about React.net, you can contact me. Absolutely. Tim, if they sell stocks to us, let me know. Mike's in for two shares. If they sell two shares, we're worth $100,000 each. Here's a Touche worth 100 grand each. Here's a segment known as

Bouchette of Your Thoughts. So I'm going to end with this. Technology. Bouchette of Your Thoughts. It's high money. Oh. So selling drugs, that's high money.

No, no, but what Tim was talking about because engaging people is so vital because it's better like years ago commercials, they were like

coming crazy, you know what I mean? Yeah, in your face, like-tech I like like auto like car sale like like the Bud what but wasn't horses all that shit they know you know what I mean trying Jim done you throw it when the Super Bowl hits we're gonna turn in Boschetti of thoughts yeah we I I would love to share everything we've got going we've got a couple of TV shows too that we're

gonna you know a launch so you're busy yeah yeah I'm a little bit busy and I would love to share everything we've got going. We've got a couple of TV shows, too, that we're going to launch. So you're busy? Yeah, I'm a little bit busy. And where do you live? I live in Long Island. There you go. Long Island. Do you like it or not?

That's cool. Listen, I don't look at the place while I'm sleeping. You know what I mean? For Stern Show fans, it's important to know that all Long Island guys, Goodstein, Ganji, Brian Phelan, the great Brian Phelan. Goodstein lives right by me, by the way. All doing good. I talk to them, but I want to make sure they're doing good.

Everything's good. Everybody asks about you all the time. Yeah. Whenever I play the great club governors in Long Island, they all come out and say hi. I mean, you know, again, that show was like a family. Well, we are a family to this day. You know, there was a camaraderie and a connection because we went through so many personal things with each other and professional things and enjoyed success together. We enjoyed, you know, getting beat up. Mega success.

Exactly. And, you know, a lot of obstacles. But for me, like, I jumped on a moving train. You were already part of that organization that made it legendary. And you guys all in those different cities who made it purr, you deserve a lot of credit. You know, so, again, for me as a fan, again, like I said, here's the greatest compliment I can give you, brother. When I met Tim Sabian in Philly at the Electric Factory in 2001,

it was like meeting a rock star. Thank you. It's like knowing a rock star. And I'm glad you got a lot going on. I do. Too much. But I enjoy it. But that's okay.

You need that. I tried to retire, literally. You can't. You love what you do, though. It's the whole thing. I love, you know, I bought an RV. I travel around the country a little bit, and I got about halfway into it. I said, I can't handle this.

So I went back, sold it, and went back to doing what I do. Like a Winnebago? Like that? You mean like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mike, describe quickly, because this was one of the most disgusting stories ever. You, as a 12-year-old, overeating Burger King the entire time. I was all shitting.

Shitting all over. Went in a camper of Winnebago with your uncle to California. Right? Well, we drove, my uncle, my cousin, my aunt, we took a trip across country. He's describing a horror. From New York City to California. He had a whole five weeks off where he worked, right? We went to so many states, to Grand Canyon,

I sweated a lot on the river, it was awesome. What was your burger, at the age of 12? At the age of 12, this is a burger came over. I was always a fat bastard, right? I had four and a half wop, sometimes almost five, two large fries and a malted, that was my lunch. A malted? Oh my God.

And then he has to shit on the Winnebago. So you're shitting on the Winnebago. So you're shitting on the Winnebago after five, 12. What do you weigh at 12? I had a 38 waist at 12. That's hot. Five Whoppers. Oh, my God.

If you only ate four. I couldn't eat that in a week. That was lunch. That was just lunch. If you only ate four and a half, what would you eat the other half? Save it for later. Save it for later. Absolutely. In the middle of the night.

But what does the Winnebago smell like after you take that five whopper shit? What does that smell like? Was your uncle suicidal by Wyoming? By Denver, I'd be suicidal. He got suicidal once we went over to Bayonne. Well, Bayonne just smelled like Bayonne. That's when I was doing that juicing

thing I did for three years. Oh, that'll clean you out. Eat away. W. Freak, though. Mike's still here. He had my ass outside. He made me stand outside in my ass house for three years. Oh, that'll clean you out. Eat away. Don't be a freak, though. Mike's still here. He had my ass outside. He made me stand outside in my ass for a while. Hey, look, my cat lives Michael Jackson, JFK Jr., right? Because you don't fly planes. I love planes.

Flying is awesome. Okay, Mike, closing thoughts. I was so glad to see Tim because he's one of the best people we love, a workaholic. And he'll tell people— Now, workaholic for Mike, that doesn't mean getting drunk at work. No, but the thing I like about Tim is you're very upfront, you're honest, and you let fucking idiots have it if necessary. Well, no, I just...

It is what it is, but the thing is, Artie, seriously, you should end the show with helping people wherever they can go if they're addicted or... No, listen, I want... I tell people out there, because I got a lot of people who email me and stuff, and they're struggling, and this is all joking aside, just know I'm rooting for you. I'm going through it, too. There's someone else out there, because I got a lot of people who email me and stuff, and they're struggling. And this is all joking aside. Just know I'm rooting for you.

I'm going through it, too. There's someone else out there going through what you're going through. The best thing I can describe to you guys is you're not alone. You're not alone. And it's doable. You can do it. You can win the battle. People are fucking dying left and right.

You're playing Russian roulette, fentanyl, crack, fentanyls and everything. That's elephant tranquilizer, dude. That's a tranquilizer that could take Mike out after five whoppers. I just want you guys to know you're not alone. No. If you're struggling, you're not alone, and you can get through this. If you're in a dark place listening right now, I went through it, dude. I'm here.

I'm still breathing. We can do it together. You're not alone. No. And I love reading your stuff and sending it in at all times. Mikey, thank you. I'm so over 23 years. That's inspirational.

We're going to have addicts. I want to have addicts on, recovery. I got some big guests lined up in the recovery world. We're going to talk about everything. Tim Sabian, I love you. I love you too, brother. I'm really proud of you. I'm doing what I can. I'm serious. Everybody's been through a lot in their life.

Different paths. Maybe not the extreme of you, Heather. Seriously, to come back, and God bless you. I hope you have the strength every day, every minute, to get through what you've got to get through. It's an incredible story. You have an incredible opportunity ahead

if you can cross the finish line. People like you make it easier, dude. And you have an incredible opportunity ahead if you can cross the finish line. Thank you. Well, people like you make it easier, dude. So thank you. Alright, guys. Another episode of Artie Lang's Halfway House in the Books. Join us again next time. Later. We'll see you next time.