Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 20 - KEVIN BRENNAN
Episode Date: January 20, 2020Artie Lange and Mike Bocchetti interview stand-up comic Kevin Brennan! Presented by TheComicsGym.com Thanks to MyBookie.ag - If you're going to wager this weekend go to bit.ly/MYB-Artie and use... code Artie to get a 50% signup bonus. Thanks to Blue Chew. Go to BlueChew.com and get your first shipment FREE (just pay $5 shipping) when you use the promo code ARTIE”. Thanks to Tommy John Underwear. Visit www.TommyJohn.com/Artie for 20% off your next order of the most comfortable underwear ever!
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                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Save it, Mike.
                                         
                                         Save it.
                                         
                                         Save it for the...
                                         
                                         We're back on the air.
                                         
                                         Audio lags halfway.
                                         
                                         I actually just heard Mike bantering with our guest, the great Kevin Brennan.
                                         
                                         Amazing. What's up,
                                         
    
                                         Kev? What an honor. Who canceled?
                                         
                                         Oh, no.
                                         
                                         We must have canceled. Yeah, but nobody canceled. Tommy Coy texted me 15 minutes
                                         
                                         ago. Oh, did he really?
                                         
                                         Maybe someone did cancel.
                                         
                                         I like your chic new look. You look like a bad villain
                                         
                                         in the B movies in the 80s.
                                         
                                         Like one of those high school chick flick
                                         
    
                                         films. Yeah, right. Do you know Mike well?
                                         
                                         Pretty well.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         New early 90s.
                                         
                                         I love him.
                                         
                                         He was a good friend of me from day one.
                                         
                                         Well, is that true?
                                         
                                         That's what he says.
                                         
    
                                         That's what he says, but I don't even remember.
                                         
                                         Do you remember being a good friend to Mike?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         You remember being a good friend to anybody?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         No, I did a show called The Freak Show, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, she brought me to Queens with Jay London.
                                         
                                         I did a show called The Freak Show. And that Yeah, she brought me to Queens with Jay London. I did a show called The Freak Show.
                                         
    
                                         And that's the show that you thought about Mike for?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He wasn't the top freak, but he was one of the freaks.
                                         
                                         How long ago was that?
                                         
                                         93.
                                         
                                         In the 90s.
                                         
                                         And then Comedy Central made like a pilot or like a mini pilot or something?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         They were.
                                         
                                         That must have been like the one of the first.
                                         
                                         Isn't that when they first started, 93? No, they were like a little. They didn't have, yeah. They were, that must have been like the one of the, isn't that when they first started, 93?
                                         
                                         No, they were like a little,
                                         
                                         they didn't have anything yet.
                                         
                                         Uh-huh.
                                         
                                         95% of it.
                                         
                                         They didn't have anything,
                                         
    
                                         anything that was popping yet.
                                         
                                         But yeah,
                                         
                                         that's so they,
                                         
                                         I try to do a show.
                                         
                                         The show was like,
                                         
                                         they were,
                                         
                                         I would let,
                                         
                                         a freak show,
                                         
    
                                         I would let like freaks perform
                                         
                                         and then I would interview them.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         It was like the Tonight Show.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         But it was like,
                                         
                                         it was actually like a good idea.
                                         
                                         It was like a,
                                         
    
                                         But like what other kind of freaks
                                         
                                         besides Bojetti? Oh, he's some real psycho. Just like a cross was like, it was actually like a good idea. It was like. But like what other kind of freaks besides Bojetti?
                                         
                                         Oh, he's some real psycho.
                                         
                                         Just like a cross-dresser, cross-dresser and stuff like that.
                                         
                                         But no, but it was kind of like the, it was like American Idol, but loser.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         He had Freddie Elfman, but loser.
                                         
    
                                         American loser?
                                         
                                         He had Freddie Elfman, but from Howard Stern.
                                         
                                         No, I didn't.
                                         
                                         Did I?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Is that true?
                                         
                                         I don't remember.
                                         
                                         But he wasn't on Howard Stern, was he?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, back in the early 90s.
                                         
                                         Of course he was.
                                         
                                         Then I didn't have him.
                                         
                                         I don't remember anybody from Howard Stern.
                                         
                                         He was there.
                                         
                                         Oh, he was?
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         Oh, he was on the show or he was just with you?
                                         
    
                                         He was sitting next to me.
                                         
                                         I didn't know him at the time.
                                         
                                         Did he perform?
                                         
                                         I think he might have.
                                         
                                         Cat was stealing from the Stern show?
                                         
                                         No, he had a call called.
                                         
                                         One guy, my favorite guy was Bingo Gazingo.
                                         
                                         Yes, an old guy.
                                         
    
                                         He was really awesome.
                                         
                                         He was like 80.
                                         
                                         What did he do?
                                         
                                         He would just go up and like, do you remember, not the, what's that fucking guy?
                                         
                                         He used to be on Brother Theodore.
                                         
                                         You remember Brother Theodore?
                                         
                                         Yeah, I used to love him.
                                         
                                         He was on Letterman all the time.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, he was like a Brother Theodore type where he would just rant.
                                         
                                         He would go on and rant.
                                         
                                         I saw Brother Theodore had a one-man show like that on some theater on 13th Street that was so fucking hilarious. Yeah, he was great on Letterman. He would go on and rant. I saw Brother Theater had a one-man show like that on some theater
                                         
                                         on 13th Street
                                         
                                         that was so fucking hilarious.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he was great on Letterman.
                                         
                                         He would just insult Letterman.
                                         
                                         Letterman would say something to him.
                                         
    
                                         Is that a Bandlon shirt?
                                         
                                         He would go,
                                         
                                         Ha ha ha!
                                         
                                         Brilliant!
                                         
                                         That's fucking great.
                                         
                                         He would just banter with him.
                                         
                                         Anybody that shit on Letterman
                                         
                                         was fucking classic.
                                         
    
                                         Even Pee Wee Herman
                                         
                                         would shit on him.
                                         
                                         It was fucking great.
                                         
                                         He would shit back. It was actually great. Well, and then he would shit back.
                                         
                                         It was like actually a mean show.
                                         
                                         No, it was great
                                         
                                         before they tried to fix it
                                         
                                         and bring it to 1130.
                                         
    
                                         No, but this guy
                                         
                                         was always calling me,
                                         
                                         Bingo Gazingo.
                                         
                                         He would always call me
                                         
                                         and be like,
                                         
                                         hey, what's going on with the pilot?
                                         
                                         I'm like, no wonder he's anxious.
                                         
                                         He's 80.
                                         
    
                                         He's going to fucking die
                                         
                                         any second.
                                         
                                         What's going on with the pilot?
                                         
                                         And how'd you let him down?
                                         
                                         No, I don't know what I said.
                                         
                                         Dude, it was just a pilot?
                                         
                                         Or it got on the air?
                                         
                                         No, they made it, then we edited it.
                                         
    
                                         I think that was the end of it.
                                         
                                         It was in 93, no,
                                         
                                         95. When did you start doing stand-up?
                                         
                                         I don't even know. Please, we can't go there.
                                         
                                         Who are you, Barbara Walters?
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm curious.
                                         
                                         I passed at the Improv
                                         
                                         in 1988.
                                         
    
                                         In Hell's Kitchen?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah, okay.
                                         
                                         All right, there you go, 88.
                                         
                                         And I'm only good now.
                                         
                                         I really only think I got good now, for real.
                                         
                                         I'm not just saying that.
                                         
                                         I like my act now better than ever because I feel like it has more personality.
                                         
    
                                         Before, I was just doing jokes.
                                         
                                         I remember you being really funny in the early days.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I don't remember that.
                                         
                                         I remember I had periods where I was like,
                                         
                                         I would do well, but I never felt like I was like,
                                         
                                         I never felt that good.
                                         
                                         I feel better now because I got more shit to talk about.
                                         
                                         Plus, I'm more like a dick, you know, on stage.
                                         
    
                                         More like a dick, absolutely.
                                         
                                         No, but before I was like hiding it.
                                         
                                         Because you try to get on TV a lot and just be like,
                                         
                                         you know, do your jokes and then hope that fucking Conan
                                         
                                         will put you on, you know? What was your jokes and then hope that fucking Conan will put you on.
                                         
                                         What was your first TV spot?
                                         
                                         You did Conan?
                                         
                                         Conan, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Did you do a lot of that?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Conan was nerve-wracking.
                                         
                                         All those shows were nerve-wracking.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I did a few.
                                         
                                         You walk out.
                                         
                                         No, but you did panel usually, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         It's easy to do panel because of the joke bombs.
                                         
                                         They just make fun of you.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no.
                                         
                                         They get – I did stand up on The Tonight Show once with Fallon,
                                         
                                         but the panel is...
                                         
                                         Especially with someone like...
                                         
                                         Conan.
                                         
                                         Because this audience loves them so much.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, plus Conan wants you to bomb
                                         
                                         because then he can make fun of you more.
                                         
                                         So you think the goal is to bomb?
                                         
                                         No, but it's like when Norm would bomb on Conan.
                                         
                                         Those were the best shows.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
                                         
                                         Because when you do an inappropriate joke or whatever.
                                         
                                         Can I say the N-word here?
                                         
    
                                         Get ahead of myself.
                                         
                                         I thought Conan was cool.
                                         
                                         I seen him coming out of St. Patrick's.
                                         
                                         I thought Conan was cool. I seen him coming out of St. Patrick's
                                         
                                         one day.
                                         
                                         He's cool.
                                         
                                         I'm saying he is cool.
                                         
                                         He's talking about his talk show.
                                         
    
                                         Not just seeing him on the street.
                                         
                                         I thought you meant just seeing him on the street.
                                         
                                         I thought you meant on Thanksgiving Day Par Parade he was one of the floats.
                                         
                                         He wants you to bomb when you come up to him on the street.
                                         
                                         One time I was on Conan one time, and I had a last joke.
                                         
                                         I want to get to the last joke.
                                         
                                         The second to last joke,
                                         
                                         they were like a delayed applause.
                                         
    
                                         So I was like,
                                         
                                         I was,
                                         
                                         so they finally all applauded.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         And I was running out of time.
                                         
                                         Cause they were holding up a one minute.
                                         
                                         So I go,
                                         
                                         I go,
                                         
    
                                         thank you.
                                         
                                         Like,
                                         
                                         thank you for fucking making up your mind.
                                         
                                         Well,
                                         
                                         so,
                                         
                                         so everybody stops.
                                         
                                         The,
                                         
                                         the,
                                         
    
                                         the,
                                         
                                         the cue card guy drops his cards.
                                         
                                         Everyone starts walking towards me.
                                         
                                         And I'm like,
                                         
                                         so Conan comes over He goes
                                         
                                         I go I'm not done
                                         
                                         He goes no you're done
                                         
                                         So that's funny though
                                         
    
                                         But they cut that out
                                         
                                         So that's all on the air
                                         
                                         And then I come back
                                         
                                         And Conan goes
                                         
                                         They left all that in?
                                         
                                         No they took it out
                                         
                                         But then when I come back
                                         
                                         Then they came back
                                         
    
                                         And I tell him
                                         
                                         Conan goes
                                         
                                         He goes well
                                         
                                         I go am I going to do the last joke now?
                                         
                                         On the chair?
                                         
                                         He goes
                                         
                                         We'll see
                                         
                                         So he comes back And then he goes we'll see so he
                                         
    
                                         come he he comes back and then he goes okay really mean or is your mind you
                                         
                                         know cuz I'm like so he goes he goes uh so he comes back from commercial he goes
                                         
                                         you know sometimes we got mixed up here and Kevin didn't do his last joke okay
                                         
                                         so then he goes can't see you to come back so then he goes Kevin do the joke
                                         
                                         and I was like, what?
                                         
                                         Like, luckily, I thought of it, because you can't just get into a joke.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but you remember the joke.
                                         
                                         I don't know, but I got it out or whatever. What was the joke?
                                         
    
                                         I don't even know.
                                         
                                         But I remember it was a callback.
                                         
                                         You remember the fucking joke.
                                         
                                         No, it was a callback, too.
                                         
                                         So I was like, what the fuck?
                                         
                                         Oh, then it's impossible.
                                         
                                         So then afterwards, I'm in the dressing room, and Max comes by, and he goes, hey.
                                         
                                         The drummer. Yeah. Max Weinberg. Max Weinberg. He goes, I go, yeah, I really in the dressing room, and Max comes by, and he goes, hey. The drummer.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Max Weinberg.
                                         
                                         Max Weinberg.
                                         
                                         He goes, I go, yeah, I really fucked it up, right?
                                         
                                         Max goes, we love it when things go wrong.
                                         
                                         That must be for the band, absolutely.
                                         
                                         Yeah, so then Conan comes by a couple minutes later, and I go, sorry, Conan, I really fucked
                                         
                                         it up.
                                         
    
                                         I said, Max says you guys love it when things are wrong.
                                         
                                         He goes, yeah, but don't listen to Max.
                                         
                                         He goes, we don't get our comedy tips from Max. I said, Max says you guys love it when things are right. He goes, yeah, don't listen to Max. He goes,
                                         
                                         we don't get our comedy tips
                                         
                                         from Max.
                                         
                                         I was like,
                                         
                                         but they do.
                                         
                                         They don't mind
                                         
    
                                         if you fuck it up.
                                         
                                         I was on a sketch on Conan.
                                         
                                         He was the funniest guy
                                         
                                         in Springsteen's band,
                                         
                                         but out of the...
                                         
                                         I was on a sketch on Conan.
                                         
                                         I played the letter O
                                         
                                         as a football fan.
                                         
    
                                         What'd you say?
                                         
                                         I was on a sketch on Conan.
                                         
                                         I played the letter O
                                         
                                         during the football...
                                         
                                         Well,
                                         
                                         that makes sense.
                                         
                                         Were you always big, Mike?
                                         
                                         No, I'm not insulting you are you, Barbara Walters?
                                         
    
                                         No, but you're O.
                                         
                                         I mean, is that an insult?
                                         
                                         No, it was fun because I played a great football fan.
                                         
                                         I played the letter O.
                                         
                                         In what word?
                                         
                                         Spelled the word Conan out, his name.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's right.
                                         
                                         I remember that.
                                         
    
                                         I remember that.
                                         
                                         Were you with no shirt on?
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was letter O.
                                         
                                         Like, paste.
                                         
                                         Who was C? Oh, they painted you.
                                         
                                         Who was C?
                                         
                                         I don't remember.
                                         
                                         Do you guys hang out when you're not doing the show?
                                         
    
                                         All the time.
                                         
                                         That's how we get the rapport going.
                                         
                                         Imagine if you guys hung out. You guys are roomies.
                                         
                                         I fear that more than anything since I started working with Mike on a bit.
                                         
                                         Because eventually when Mike's mother dies, someone's going to have to take care of him.
                                         
                                         I just feel it's going to be me.
                                         
                                         Does everyone still live at your house?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         It's a fabulous 50-ish.
                                         
                                         What's going to happen when she passes?
                                         
                                         Well, that's what I mean.
                                         
                                         And again, I met the woman, an extraordinary woman.
                                         
                                         How's she doing?
                                         
                                         How old is she?
                                         
                                         81.
                                         
                                         She has four sons over the age of 55.
                                         
    
                                         That's not a reality show.
                                         
                                         That's mind-boggling that no one's put some cameras in your house. I don't want them in the house. That's a great idea. It'll not a reality show. That's mind boggling that no one's put some cameras in your house.
                                         
                                         I don't want them in the house.
                                         
                                         That's a great idea.
                                         
                                         It'll be a smash hit.
                                         
                                         Now, why wouldn't you let that happen?
                                         
                                         Your mother wouldn't let that happen.
                                         
                                         I think she would love it.
                                         
    
                                         She would love to drop the criminal activity.
                                         
                                         No, no, they would love it because they'd love to be on camera.
                                         
                                         What else is there to do in Staten Island?
                                         
                                         They'd love to commit crime.
                                         
                                         They'd love to be on camera.
                                         
                                         You can't get anywhere.
                                         
                                         It takes an hour to get anywhere.
                                         
                                         No, it is.
                                         
    
                                         In the morning. The fact that that's a part of New York City get anywhere. No, it is. In the morning.
                                         
                                         The fact that that's a part of New York City is astonishing.
                                         
                                         No, it's a fucking joke.
                                         
                                         Has anyone looked into how that even happened?
                                         
                                         No, it's so close to New Jersey, it's fucking ridiculous.
                                         
                                         Yeah, the Verrazano Bridge is, you know.
                                         
                                         That's the biggest moneymaker for Staten Island, right?
                                         
                                         That's your biggest export is the bridge?
                                         
    
                                         My mom loves being on Camry.
                                         
                                         Yeah, 20 bucks I think it is now.
                                         
                                         But I'm saying, Kevin has a good point.
                                         
                                         Maybe you should do a reality show.
                                         
                                         Have you tried to sell it?
                                         
                                         Like a freak show.
                                         
                                         I haven't thought about it.
                                         
                                         You don't want to do it to your mom, right?
                                         
    
                                         No, no, no.
                                         
                                         People would love it.
                                         
                                         She'd love it.
                                         
                                         I'm talking about her.
                                         
                                         No, fuck her.
                                         
                                         Anyway.
                                         
                                         I don't mean it like that.
                                         
                                         I mean that she's going to die anyway.
                                         
    
                                         You guys need money.
                                         
                                         Does any of your brothers, are they do anything?
                                         
                                         Sean's being retired?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         I thought he was going to say retarded.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         Well, that's right.
                                         
                                         They're retired.
                                         
    
                                         He's retarded.
                                         
                                         My brother's retired.
                                         
                                         I'm retarded.
                                         
                                         No, no.
                                         
                                         Do your brothers, do they have a pension and stuff like that?
                                         
                                         I mean, why do they live at home?
                                         
                                         But they're all, for real, retired? Yeah. But they're cops and garbage men and stuff? No, no, but do your brothers, do they have a pension and stuff like that? I mean, why do they live at home? But they're all, for real, retired?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         But they're cops and garbage men and stuff?
                                         
                                         No, no, they wish they would get that foreign life.
                                         
                                         One was a cook in a diner, but how do you get a retirement plan from that?
                                         
                                         Like, I mean, you know.
                                         
                                         He worked in various, I don't get into this stuff.
                                         
                                         So he's really retired.
                                         
                                         It sounds like a criminal activity.
                                         
                                         No, it's not a criminal activity.
                                         
    
                                         No, he's seriously retired?
                                         
                                         At what age?
                                         
                                         Go give the rundown. Who exactly is living at home, for example? They get mad at me when I talk about it. No, it's not a criminal act. No, it's not a criminal act. No, he's seriously retired? At what age? How did he go?
                                         
                                         Give the rundown.
                                         
                                         Who exactly is living at home for Kevin?
                                         
                                         They get mad at me when I talk about it.
                                         
                                         Don't worry about it.
                                         
                                         I'll handle this.
                                         
    
                                         I'll handle your brother.
                                         
                                         Kevin will make two phone calls.
                                         
                                         You handle my brothers, I'll handle yours.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         I'm not going to play with Neil, who buried me with people.
                                         
                                         No, don't worry about it.
                                         
                                         You're not doing that good.
                                         
                                         There's really not that much damage to do to you.
                                         
    
                                         But wait, so how old are your brothers?
                                         
                                         Are they older than you?
                                         
                                         No, they're real young.
                                         
                                         Young people.
                                         
                                         Young people.
                                         
                                         Young people.
                                         
                                         Young people. Young people. Young that much damage to do to you. But wait, so how old are your brothers?
                                         
                                         Are they older than you?
                                         
    
                                         No, they're real young.
                                         
                                         Young 50s.
                                         
                                         And they're retired?
                                         
                                         I don't get it.
                                         
                                         They're in their mid-50s.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         They get mad when I think about them.
                                         
                                         Well, Mike's 58.
                                         
    
                                         They're in their mid-50s.
                                         
                                         But I'm saying the thing is they all still live in the home you grew up in.
                                         
                                         No, not the home we grew up in.
                                         
                                         We grew up in another house.
                                         
                                         But you all lived together.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's fun, actually. I like it. And with one of your sisters and her boyfriend, her husband.
                                         
                                         No, her husband passed away.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay. But a dog, too.
                                         
    
                                         This show gets better and better. You got a five-pound chihuahua.
                                         
                                         So your sister lives there. And a five-pound chihuahua.
                                         
                                         There you go.
                                         
                                         Wait, your sister lives there? Yeah, upstairs.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         No, I think it would be, again, you got to be respectful.
                                         
                                         I'll sell it.
                                         
                                         I'll sell it.
                                         
    
                                         Get out there, Kev.
                                         
                                         Neil can sell it.
                                         
                                         Kev got mad at us.
                                         
                                         Get him out of the phone.
                                         
                                         Get him out of the phone.
                                         
                                         Kev was listening to the show the other day, and he got mad at us for saying that Neil
                                         
                                         co-created the Chappelle show.
                                         
                                         No, you said created.
                                         
    
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         If you say co-created, I'll give you that.
                                         
                                         But no, the other night we did a gig together and you were saying that.
                                         
                                         He didn't create the Chappelle show.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         But isn't that what you're saying?
                                         
                                         Is he co-creator though?
                                         
                                         Huh?
                                         
    
                                         He's a co-creator?
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's what they do.
                                         
                                         One guy creates it.
                                         
                                         The other guy writes the stuff down.
                                         
                                         They say they did it together.
                                         
                                         First of all, Mike, Mike, you're, you're, you're.
                                         
                                         I was going to say something bad.
                                         
                                         First of all, Mike, why would he create one show like that and not create more?
                                         
    
                                         Why would, why would he stop?
                                         
                                         Like the guy who did, the guy who does fucking.
                                         
                                         Oh, you're right, like Norman Lear.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Norman Lear, good example, Mike.
                                         
                                         Even, even Mike came up with a good one.
                                         
                                         How about the guy fucking Chuck, Chuck Lorre.
                                         
                                         Chuck Lorre.
                                         
                                         Yeah, the guy has like nine shows under his belt.
                                         
    
                                         Two and a half, big thing.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         He has like, why, why would Neil stop at one if he's a fucking genius?
                                         
                                         I would think, why would he not just bless us?
                                         
                                         He keeps creating more shows.
                                         
                                         Shut up, Mike.
                                         
                                         Why would he not bless us with more shows?
                                         
                                         Like, it makes no sense, right?
                                         
    
                                         We're talking about 15 years.
                                         
                                         You think maybe five years you'd be like, ah, I had a nice run.
                                         
                                         Maybe I'll do another.
                                         
                                         Let me do another.
                                         
                                         Even Larry David.
                                         
                                         He's like, you know what?
                                         
                                         I got tons of money. Let me make
                                         
                                         another show. At least the Sherry's
                                         
    
                                         a movie. Do something. Now he's
                                         
                                         fucking directing Michelle
                                         
                                         Wolfe. It's like directing
                                         
                                         a comedy special? What do you do?
                                         
                                         You stand over there and then look over there
                                         
                                         and then do that joke everybody likes.
                                         
                                         Are you fucking kidding me, Mike?
                                         
                                         Mike, can I finish?
                                         
    
                                         I took the one train here, so don't fuck with me.
                                         
                                         One train sucks.
                                         
                                         Go ahead, finish.
                                         
                                         No, that's the point.
                                         
                                         It's like he directs commercials, and it's like not hard.
                                         
                                         Create another fucking great show.
                                         
                                         We'd love to see it.
                                         
                                         I would watch it.
                                         
    
                                         I'd see it with my children.
                                         
                                         Can I ask you what happened?
                                         
                                         It is annoying because my son, he likes basketball.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         So he likes Alan for some reason.
                                         
                                         Because I guess he sees clips of Allen with Kobe Bryant and basketball players.
                                         
                                         So he's like, and my wife kind of tipped off that.
                                         
                                         He likes Allen?
                                         
    
                                         No, he likes Allen because she has basketball players on her show.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         She's a lesbian.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I know that.
                                         
                                         I got that news.
                                         
                                         My son is always like, I guess my wife said, oh, yeah, Kevin's brother knows.
                                         
                                         You mean his uncle?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         The kid's uncle?
                                         
                                         Can I ask you what happened with you and your brother?
                                         
                                         Nothing happened.
                                         
                                         He doesn't live here.
                                         
                                         I know, but there's insane vitriol that comes out of your mouth.
                                         
                                         No, what happened was, it's very simple.
                                         
                                         What happened was, I was in L.A. 2011, 2014.
                                         
                                         How much older are you than him?
                                         
    
                                         12 or 13 years.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         So you weren't close growing up.
                                         
                                         No, no.
                                         
                                         It's not like we were sharing a bunk.
                                         
                                         I'm the third of 10, and he's the 10th of 10.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
                                         It's like I'm like his dad.
                                         
    
                                         Right, okay. I'm more like his dad than his brother
                                         
                                         You seem very fatherly
                                         
                                         So, I mean, but it's really when you speak about
                                         
                                         No, so he's Neil's a cunt
                                         
                                         Listen, you want to hear a story?
                                         
                                         I know Neil, he seems like an alright guy to me
                                         
                                         I lived in LA 2011, 2014
                                         
                                         My son was born in 2012
                                         
    
                                         Right
                                         
                                         In LA, I lived like probably 3.9 miles because i i drove at one time yeah how far
                                         
                                         i was yeah i live three point i live my house is 3.9 miles away from his house he never came over
                                         
                                         to see my son now and my son's like my favorite guy in the whole fucking world more than i like
                                         
                                         that is a little weird for an uncle but was there something that preceded that no nothing nothing i
                                         
                                         didn't i like i think we had like a...
                                         
                                         He never acknowledged that you had a son?
                                         
                                         No, and then we... And still hasn't.
                                         
    
                                         And then we went to a basketball. He took me to a
                                         
                                         basketball. He actually took... I remember, I don't know
                                         
                                         exactly when it was, but he took me to a basketball game
                                         
                                         at the Clippers game
                                         
                                         because he got tickets. He's friends with
                                         
                                         Blake Griffin.
                                         
                                         So we went to the game, and then
                                         
                                         my wife was pregnant at the time, so it wasn't even that far past that. So we never came the game and then my wife was pregnant at the time
                                         
    
                                         so it wasn't even that
                                         
                                         far past that.
                                         
                                         So we never came over
                                         
                                         and people were like
                                         
                                         and my mom was like
                                         
                                         well did you invite him?
                                         
                                         I'm like I don't have to fuck
                                         
                                         imagine
                                         
    
                                         I mean
                                         
                                         it's like
                                         
                                         that's what's wrong
                                         
                                         with the Irish.
                                         
                                         The Irish are like
                                         
                                         the Italian
                                         
                                         even if your Italian brother
                                         
                                         has a kid
                                         
    
                                         you go over.
                                         
                                         Even if it's bad blood.
                                         
                                         But I'm saying it's like
                                         
                                         even if you're going to
                                         
                                         murder the guy because you're in the mafia you're still going to go over when they, you do. Even if it's bad blood. But I'm saying it's like... Even if you're going to murder the guy
                                         
                                         because you're in the mafia,
                                         
                                         you're still going to go over
                                         
                                         when they have a baby.
                                         
    
                                         But I grew up with a lot of Irish kids
                                         
                                         from big Irish families.
                                         
                                         It doesn't seem like there was that much,
                                         
                                         like, you know...
                                         
                                         I mean, I know a lot of Irish guys
                                         
                                         who would go over and see the kid.
                                         
                                         Who wouldn't?
                                         
                                         You would.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, you just go over
                                         
                                         because you're fucking...
                                         
                                         I mean, I don't think that's an Irish thing.
                                         
                                         Because it's a very white thing to do.
                                         
                                         Anyway, so...
                                         
                                         So then when I moved back here, I was on Opie and Jim.
                                         
                                         It sounds like you never even knew them.
                                         
                                         It sounds like you never, like, I mean, you're making it sound like, you know, you don't have any relationship.
                                         
    
                                         No, but I just, when you have a kid, you're not like, oh, you're not inviting people over.
                                         
                                         They come over to help out.
                                         
                                         It's a big thing in life.
                                         
                                         To say hi or whatever.
                                         
                                         Send flowers. So I was on Opie and Jim the first time I was people over. They come over to help out. It's a big thing in life. To say hi or whatever. Send flowers.
                                         
                                         So I was on Opie and Jim the first time I was ever on.
                                         
                                         And then I was just shitting on everybody from LA.
                                         
                                         I was shitting on Neil.
                                         
    
                                         And Neil was doing stand-up.
                                         
                                         And then they showed a clip of Neil doing stand-up where he's wearing a purple T-shirt.
                                         
                                         I was like, what is this, a Robin Thicke look?
                                         
                                         Like, what the fuck is this?
                                         
                                         And then Twitter went kind of crazy
                                         
                                         because I'd never been on the show
                                         
                                         so they were like
                                         
                                         is he for real?
                                         
    
                                         Is he really shitting on his brother?
                                         
                                         So then I texted Neil
                                         
                                         I go
                                         
                                         I go you know
                                         
                                         I threw you under the bus a little bit
                                         
                                         you know trying to sell some tickets
                                         
                                         at Stress Factory.
                                         
                                         So he went crazy.
                                         
    
                                         He was mad.
                                         
                                         And he's always been a fucking baby.
                                         
                                         He's the youngest of ten.
                                         
                                         He's the biggest I remember he sent me a script one time. He sent mad. And he's always been a fucking baby. He's the youngest of 10. He's the biggest.
                                         
                                         I remember he sent me a script one time.
                                         
                                         He sent me a script.
                                         
                                         Jesus Christ.
                                         
                                         He wanted my opinion.
                                         
    
                                         I gave him, like, a constructive criticism.
                                         
                                         And, like, genuine.
                                         
                                         I wasn't even know about his movie script.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         He sent it to me.
                                         
                                         I read it.
                                         
                                         I go, why don't you change this?
                                         
                                         It was about an athlete or whatever.
                                         
    
                                         So I said, why don't you change it to this?
                                         
                                         It makes more sense. And he goes,
                                         
                                         fuck you. I should have never said. I'm like,
                                         
                                         fuck you. It sounds like there's a lot of...
                                         
                                         No, he's a fucking baby.
                                         
                                         Your youngest of 10 is always a gigantic
                                         
                                         fucking cunt baby. I almost said
                                         
                                         the N word. I don't know about the youngest of 10.
                                         
    
                                         No, Gaffigan's a fucking... He's like the youngest of 8.
                                         
                                         He's a fucking baby. His wife is like, he's a
                                         
                                         fucking baby. Jim Gaffigan? Yeah, his wife is
                                         
                                         like...
                                         
                                         Gaffigan's like the youngest of eight.
                                         
                                         His wife is like the oldest of nine.
                                         
                                         So he basically married his fucking mom.
                                         
                                         And so it works out perfectly.
                                         
    
                                         He's having a good career.
                                         
                                         I don't give a fuck about Gaffigan.
                                         
                                         I'll fucking, I'll say it to his face.
                                         
                                         I don't give a fuck.
                                         
                                         What happened with Gaffigan?
                                         
                                         Nothing.
                                         
                                         I'm just not afraid.
                                         
                                         I don't give a, no, I love him.
                                         
    
                                         I love him, but I just don't give a fuck.
                                         
                                         I don't give a fuck if it gets back to him.
                                         
                                         Don't take his name out. Put it in extra.
                                         
                                         Well, listen, we're not going to take it out of him
                                         
                                         unless you want us to.
                                         
                                         I'm just saying.
                                         
                                         That's what I started doing. I just started saying whatever
                                         
                                         and then people are like, oh my god, he fucking says whatever.
                                         
    
                                         You are the most honest guy about comics.
                                         
                                         I just don't give a fuck anymore.
                                         
                                         Comics are babies.
                                         
                                         They're all fucking babies.
                                         
                                         You say one thing, they fucking Gary Goldman, get Chris Red babies they're all fucking babies they really are they're just you say one thing
                                         
                                         they fucking
                                         
                                         Gary Goldman
                                         
                                         Chris Redd
                                         
    
                                         they all fucking
                                         
                                         confront me
                                         
                                         I'm like
                                         
                                         I said
                                         
                                         Chris Redd
                                         
                                         there's a lot of
                                         
                                         podcasting going on
                                         
                                         people say shit
                                         
    
                                         and like just
                                         
                                         no one says anything
                                         
                                         they say oh so and so
                                         
                                         and then they won't
                                         
                                         say the name
                                         
                                         I'll say the fucking name
                                         
                                         I don't give a fuck
                                         
                                         and then they come up to me
                                         
    
                                         like what are they gonna do
                                         
                                         like comics
                                         
                                         they don't even fight.
                                         
                                         What are they going to do?
                                         
                                         Chris Redd knocked a cup of tea out of my hand.
                                         
                                         Chris Redd knocked a cup of tea out of my hand.
                                         
                                         Did I spit that out properly?
                                         
                                         What did he do?
                                         
    
                                         He confronted me.
                                         
                                         He threw me up against the wall at the Village Underground bathroom.
                                         
                                         He's a big guy.
                                         
                                         Yeah, well, he's a Jew.
                                         
                                         Anyway.
                                         
                                         You know they can't fight.
                                         
                                         You get afraid of Jews.
                                         
                                         No, they can't fight. So did you fight them? No, they can hurt you in show business, but they can't fight. Yeah, that's he's a Jew. Anyway. You know, they can't fight. You get afraid of Jews. No, they can't fight.
                                         
    
                                         So did you fight them?
                                         
                                         No, they can hurt you in show business, but they can't fight.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
                                         
                                         You better be careful.
                                         
                                         Well, keep it along with this theme.
                                         
                                         You know, you've had your issues with me as well.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but we have.
                                         
                                         I never have had an issue with it at all.
                                         
    
                                         I find it funny.
                                         
                                         Kev used to have a burning Bridges show, and he would burn the bridge to me a lot.
                                         
                                         But he never could because I love Kevin.
                                         
                                         I like that he's funny
                                         
                                         I was a little
                                         
                                         can I read some of your tweets about me?
                                         
                                         I have them right here
                                         
                                         oh no
                                         
    
                                         this is gonna be brutal
                                         
                                         you started it
                                         
                                         I don't know what the fuck I said
                                         
                                         I don't know what the fuck I even said
                                         
                                         on Good Friday he started talking shit
                                         
                                         I'm with my kids in Hoboken
                                         
                                         I never meant to say anything about your kids.
                                         
                                         No, you didn't say anything, but you
                                         
    
                                         brought them. Anyway, I was with my kids.
                                         
                                         It's Good Friday. My fucking cunt
                                         
                                         wife, I mean, my lovable wife, my
                                         
                                         lovely wife. She's a lovely lady. She's a big fan
                                         
                                         of Artie's and yours. That is weird.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I know that. But anyway, so she
                                         
                                         was working.
                                         
                                         Good Friday, another fucking day off for the
                                         
    
                                         kids because they go to public school
                                         
                                         And Artie
                                         
                                         Artie says something about me
                                         
                                         And then his fans
                                         
                                         All pile on
                                         
                                         They're attacking me
                                         
                                         I'm like
                                         
                                         What the fuck did I do?
                                         
    
                                         How do I control
                                         
                                         What the fans say?
                                         
                                         Yeah well that's what
                                         
                                         What do I want to say?
                                         
                                         I just fought back a little bit
                                         
                                         Okay so
                                         
                                         I guess maybe in retaliation
                                         
                                         Lenny got mad at me
                                         
    
                                         When his friends
                                         
                                         Got cunty with him
                                         
                                         Who?
                                         
                                         Lenny got mad at me
                                         
                                         When his friends
                                         
                                         Got cunty with him Lenny Lenny Marcus? Yeah me when his friends got cunty with him. Who? Lenny got mad at me when his friends got cunty with him. Lenny who?
                                         
                                         Lenny.
                                         
                                         Lenny Marcus?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         Maybe you should say Lenny Marcus.
                                         
                                         I thought we thought Lenny Bruce or Lenny Dykstra.
                                         
                                         There's 52 Lenny's.
                                         
                                         In New York.
                                         
                                         Hey, remember Lenny?
                                         
                                         Lenny Marcus is a funny comedian.
                                         
                                         Is he?
                                         
    
                                         Well, yeah.
                                         
                                         He's got a show with him, too.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I thought he was an okay guy until I started doing a show with him.
                                         
                                         So me and Kevin worked together at Compound Media, which is another Bridgy Burn show.
                                         
                                         Not together.
                                         
                                         But we worked on the same network.
                                         
                                         We're the same network.
                                         
    
                                         We're the same network.
                                         
                                         When I was on Anthony Comey's show for a while.
                                         
                                         And here are some Kevin's tweets about the fact that I was on the show.
                                         
                                         Are they taken out of context?
                                         
                                         Well, I don't know.
                                         
                                         He could take these out of context.
                                         
                                         John Belushi had the good sense to die at 33.
                                         
                                         Artie Lange is what happens when you don't.
                                         
    
                                         I wrote that?
                                         
                                         Yeah, I guess you did.
                                         
                                         That's not bad.
                                         
                                         Artie.
                                         
                                         I don't even understand this one.
                                         
                                         Wait a minute.
                                         
                                         Artie is a hero because he's famous.
                                         
                                         All other junkies are what?
                                         
    
                                         Pieces of shit.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         Wait a minute.
                                         
                                         Let me read that again.
                                         
                                         I fucked it up.
                                         
                                         Artie is a hero because he's famous.
                                         
                                         All other junkies are pieces of shit.
                                         
                                         I'm basically saying you know what I'm saying.
                                         
    
                                         I know what you're saying.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Keith and Opie.
                                         
                                         Keith said Opie was coming to Compound Media when I started in 2017, but they ended up
                                         
                                         hiring Artie Lang and Bill Schultz.
                                         
                                         Opie is not a junkie, so he probably won't be working there.
                                         
                                         They hired.
                                         
                                         Turns out they hired Bill Schultz.
                                         
    
                                         You know why Bill Schultz comes?
                                         
                                         Bill Schultz looks like Mick Jagger, like in the satanic days.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You know what happened to Bill Schultz looks like Mick Jagger in the satanic days. Yeah, you know what happened to Bill Schultz?
                                         
                                         What? He got fired at Red Eye, at Fox News, for doing coke and not going to rehab.
                                         
                                         They said, go to rehab or else get fired.
                                         
                                         He goes, I'd rather get fired than do coke.
                                         
                                         I would have made the same decision.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, absolutely.
                                         
                                         That guy from the Dolphins just said, I'd rather smoke weed.
                                         
                                         That's a no-brainer.
                                         
                                         That one guy from the Dolphins
                                         
                                         who's been making
                                         
                                         $2 million a year
                                         
                                         is a running back
                                         
                                         for the Dolphins.
                                         
    
                                         I'm going to keep smoking weed.
                                         
                                         Yeah, how about the guy
                                         
                                         who was doing the coach
                                         
                                         who was doing blow-off
                                         
                                         his fucking memory
                                         
                                         I mean, it's fucking football
                                         
                                         and sport.
                                         
                                         How come you can't do cocaine
                                         
    
                                         and play football?
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's a very good point.
                                         
                                         How come you can't do cocaine
                                         
                                         and be on Red Eye?
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         You're not fixing
                                         
                                         brakes in a plane. How come I can't do coke and be in red-eye? You're not fixing breaks in a plane.
                                         
                                         How come I can't do coke and be in show business?
                                         
    
                                         And be on the Howard Stern show?
                                         
                                         It's supposed to be inappropriate.
                                         
                                         You're not operating on a fucking operating table.
                                         
                                         I'm not done yet.
                                         
                                         I like your point, though.
                                         
                                         That's a good point.
                                         
                                         I'm not doing this fucking surgery.
                                         
                                         I don't know about red-eye.
                                         
    
                                         It was a political show, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, but it was at 3 in the morning.
                                         
                                         It was all late in the morning late at 3 a.m.
                                         
                                         God forbid you do something immoral in the political world.
                                         
                                         But in sports, yeah, I could see.
                                         
                                         The guy should do fucking coke.
                                         
                                         How come Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden couldn't do coke and play baseball?
                                         
                                         It makes no fucking sense.
                                         
    
                                         Dwight Gooden couldn't.
                                         
                                         Well, yeah, it ruined him, actually.
                                         
                                         Yeah, because he was a great pitcher.
                                         
                                         Some guys were better on him.
                                         
                                         Yeah, oil cam boy.
                                         
                                         Howard went soft after Artie.
                                         
                                         I said that to me still.
                                         
                                         But who can blame him? He got tired of working with junkies.
                                         
    
                                         Compound Media
                                         
                                         is smart enough to hire Aaron Berg
                                         
                                         comedy, yet dumb enough to hire
                                         
                                         Artie Lang and Bill Schultz amazing.
                                         
                                         That's the whole tweet?
                                         
                                         That was disappointing.
                                         
                                         It must have been attached to something.
                                         
                                         Wait a minute.
                                         
    
                                         Now I'm starting to feel bad.
                                         
                                         Don't worry about it.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         You have a good point here.
                                         
                                         This one is an excellent point.
                                         
                                         I might be late for Burning Bridges with Kevin Brennan today,
                                         
                                         but it's okay because Brian McCarthy and Chad Zuma can cover for me.
                                         
                                         Also, Artie Lang
                                         
    
                                         was a month late one time and he wasn't fired.
                                         
                                         That's true.
                                         
                                         They were a month late. They kept the
                                         
                                         seat warm. They did.
                                         
                                         They were tolerant.
                                         
                                         It was like Epic Man not showing up
                                         
                                         for a month. That was like,
                                         
                                         you talk about a drug problem.
                                         
    
                                         My fucking schedule
                                         
                                         was four days a week
                                         
                                         from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And I couldn't keep up with it.
                                         
                                         Well,
                                         
                                         the best part was
                                         
                                         when they had your
                                         
    
                                         announcement party,
                                         
                                         you were the only one
                                         
                                         who was late.
                                         
                                         Keith didn't think
                                         
                                         that was going to be a problem.
                                         
                                         I'm like,
                                         
                                         come on, Keith.
                                         
                                         Oh, wait.
                                         
    
                                         Well,
                                         
                                         I thought that would be cool
                                         
                                         if the one guy who's late
                                         
                                         is the guy.
                                         
                                         I guess.
                                         
                                         It was actually a bit I was late.
                                         
                                         Oh, I didn't know that.
                                         
                                         It wasn't a bit.
                                         
    
                                         I wish it was.
                                         
                                         It sounds good now.
                                         
                                         No, I know.
                                         
                                         Looking back.
                                         
                                         It all looks good looking back.
                                         
                                         John Belushi had the good sense to die at 33.
                                         
                                         I don't know what happens when you don't.
                                         
                                         Ladies and gentlemen.
                                         
    
                                         We'll go right to commercial.
                                         
                                         I have in my right hand
                                         
                                         Tonight's top ten Kevin Reinhardt tweets
                                         
                                         That's when you go to commercial
                                         
                                         Right after you read the final
                                         
                                         Right Mike?
                                         
                                         We're just goofing
                                         
                                         No I see
                                         
    
                                         You know what I like
                                         
                                         As a comedian
                                         
                                         Who
                                         
                                         You know
                                         
                                         I'm telling you right now
                                         
                                         I would listen to your podcast
                                         
                                         When you would shit on me
                                         
                                         And I
                                         
    
                                         Again I don't
                                         
                                         I do get the baby thing with comics
                                         
                                         I understand what you're saying.
                                         
                                         Well, it's good. I appreciate you took it well.
                                         
                                         No, I took it well.
                                         
                                         It was fucking hilarious. Plus, you were
                                         
                                         detained most of the time, so you couldn't even get out of here.
                                         
                                         I didn't understand
                                         
    
                                         how to get the show even when I was free. I don't know.
                                         
                                         This show right now, I'm currently on a show
                                         
                                         I don't know how to watch.
                                         
                                         There's like
                                         
                                         fucking four year olds
                                         
                                         getting it
                                         
                                         no but the way
                                         
                                         I just
                                         
    
                                         I just made my show
                                         
                                         different because
                                         
                                         I would name names
                                         
                                         look
                                         
                                         name names
                                         
                                         the Aussie
                                         
                                         well first of all
                                         
                                         you were on Anthony's show
                                         
    
                                         with me and Anthony
                                         
                                         once talking about
                                         
                                         Jimmy Fallon in a way
                                         
                                         like this is a comic
                                         
                                         talking about the
                                         
                                         fucking host of
                                         
                                         The Tonight Show
                                         
                                         holy living Christ
                                         
    
                                         I admire the balls
                                         
                                         I admire how funny
                                         
                                         it is first of all cause look this is where I give you balls. I admire how funny it is, first of all.
                                         
                                         Because, look, this is where I give you credit.
                                         
                                         You're not just saying it.
                                         
                                         You are funny when you say it.
                                         
                                         You're not just being some dick.
                                         
                                         You're being funny.
                                         
    
                                         Well, I appreciate that.
                                         
                                         And when I would listen to you shit on me,
                                         
                                         people on Twitter would try to go, aren't you, man?
                                         
                                         I'm like, this is the funniest podcast I've ever heard in my fucking life.
                                         
                                         It really was.
                                         
                                         I'm like, you and that Chad Zuma guy.
                                         
                                         Chad, who I like.
                                         
                                         And the chat would try to chime in. Well, I don't know. I thought like, you and that Chad Zuma guy, Chad who I like, and then Chad would try to chime in.
                                         
    
                                         Well, I don't know.
                                         
                                         I thought Artie does it all right sometimes.
                                         
                                         Shut up, you hack.
                                         
                                         Like, you just call him a hack?
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah,
                                         
                                         because I would say,
                                         
                                         I think I said,
                                         
                                         you know,
                                         
    
                                         he goes,
                                         
                                         Artie,
                                         
                                         I think Chad was like,
                                         
                                         Artie killed last night.
                                         
                                         You were mad, didn't you?
                                         
                                         I go,
                                         
                                         I go,
                                         
                                         killed, Chad?
                                         
    
                                         I go,
                                         
                                         I go,
                                         
                                         like,
                                         
                                         Mike Vecchione killed?
                                         
                                         Mike Vecchione is a funny comedian.
                                         
                                         No, he's great,
                                         
                                         but I just. But out of nowhere, you just fucking shit on Mike Vecchione, or was I. No, he's great. But out of nowhere
                                         
                                         you just fucking shit on Mike Vecchione?
                                         
    
                                         No, I said no. I was complimenting him.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay. I was saying like Mike Vecchione
                                         
                                         killed. He killed
                                         
                                         for like 20 minutes killed.
                                         
                                         Chad goes, you know, I've seen him kill.
                                         
                                         I go, get the fuck out. I would just dismiss people
                                         
                                         if I didn't agree with them.
                                         
                                         He disagreed with you, so you got married.
                                         
    
                                         But your relationship with Chad
                                         
                                         is not unlike,
                                         
                                         I'm sure you and him
                                         
                                         hang out like me and Mike do.
                                         
                                         You have a Chad?
                                         
                                         A Chad?
                                         
                                         I like Chad,
                                         
                                         but he would try to say something
                                         
    
                                         like, no, hack.
                                         
                                         Like this is...
                                         
                                         Oh, Brendan had a roast, Chad.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah, that was funny.
                                         
                                         Oh, I'm sorry I missed that one.
                                         
                                         Why was I incarcerated for that one?
                                         
                                         I want to fire my lawyer for that.
                                         
                                         I couldn't get out
                                         
    
                                         for the Brendan roast.
                                         
                                         It was good, though. It was funny. See, why wouldn't Neil come to that? That would be fantastic. You got a new fan now. Would want to fire my lawyer for that. I couldn't get out for the Brennan roast. It was good, though.
                                         
                                         It was funny.
                                         
                                         See, why wouldn't Neil come to that?
                                         
                                         That would be fantastic.
                                         
                                         You got a new fan now.
                                         
                                         Would you go to a roast for Neil?
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         I'd just let that around.
                                         
                                         Yeah, right forever.
                                         
                                         You got a new fan now that Brennan loves him too.
                                         
                                         Rips.
                                         
                                         Oh, Barry Rips.
                                         
                                         Barry Rips, yeah.
                                         
                                         He was at the gig we did the other night.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Me and Kev did a benefit the other night for the PBS.
                                         
                                         He shows up, yeah.
                                         
                                         That was something else.
                                         
                                         Barry Rips shows up everywhere. He said you told him to show up
                                         
                                         Oh, he's an idiot
                                         
                                         Now he asked me, could he get on
                                         
                                         Then I said, I'll look into it
                                         
                                         Then I said I can get on
                                         
    
                                         I said don't tweet it
                                         
                                         Because I didn't want to go back to Tommy
                                         
                                         He tweeted it, then tagged me and you
                                         
                                         And I didn't want to get back to Tommy
                                         
                                         Because then Tommy might be like
                                         
                                         Oh, we can't put him on
                                         
                                         the show, so I was kind of sneaking him in.
                                         
                                         I know Tommy doesn't care, but I mean, I'm saying
                                         
    
                                         Tommy's our manager. Are you working with Tommy?
                                         
                                         I hope so. Is that a big announcement?
                                         
                                         You're late for the announcement.
                                         
                                         I thought it would be a good bit if I showed up late for my own
                                         
                                         announcement for it.
                                         
                                         That would have been fantastic. Why did I really think of that?
                                         
                                         Ribs rocked the house in Brendan's Roast. He did. He turned it into Andrew Dutch Clay. What was he. Why did I really think of that? Ribs rocked the house
                                         
                                         in Brendan's Roast.
                                         
    
                                         He did.
                                         
                                         He turned into
                                         
                                         Andrew Dice Clay.
                                         
                                         What was he saying?
                                         
                                         Can you remember any of that?
                                         
                                         Everybody's like
                                         
                                         Andrew Dice Clay.
                                         
                                         He was funny.
                                         
    
                                         He was on Trial, right?
                                         
                                         No, but so, yeah,
                                         
                                         so I just told him,
                                         
                                         I said, don't tweet
                                         
                                         that you're going to be
                                         
                                         at the show.
                                         
                                         Just show up.
                                         
                                         So then he tweets it again.
                                         
    
                                         I go, are you fucking stupid?
                                         
                                         He goes, the guy,
                                         
                                         the promoter told me.
                                         
                                         I'm like, don't listen to the promoter. Listen to me. I'm the one getting you on the fucking show. You could hear people clicking off. I go, are you fucking stupid? He goes, the guy, the promoter told me to... I'm like, don't listen to the promoter.
                                         
                                         Listen to me. I'm the one getting you on the fucking show.
                                         
                                         You can hear people clicking off. I hate when people...
                                         
                                         Because we're having a 20-minute
                                         
                                         Barry Ribs. No, I'm just saying.
                                         
    
                                         I did a gig one time. I told
                                         
                                         this guy at Governor's. I go, do
                                         
                                         15 minutes. Then he goes,
                                         
                                         10. I go, why'd you do 10? He goes,
                                         
                                         I thought I saw the light. I go,
                                         
                                         I brought you here, you dumb fuck.
                                         
                                         Don't worry about the club. This is one club.
                                         
                                         Now you're, it's just, right, Mike?
                                         
    
                                         Yeah. Just take orders. It's etiquette.
                                         
                                         Yeah, take orders. If the headliner tells you to do
                                         
                                         15, do 15. Don't worry about the
                                         
                                         fucking light, because you're not going to work at the club again
                                         
                                         anyway, governors.
                                         
                                         How annoyed do you get by middles on the road?
                                         
                                         They can be a little...
                                         
                                         No, the worst is when they're good and they're young and the crowd likes them.
                                         
    
                                         The worst is when a guy opening for you on the fucking road, like a middle of the club,
                                         
                                         kills with local references.
                                         
                                         There is nothing.
                                         
                                         I was fucking in Minneapolis once at this place and this fucking kid, this chubby kid
                                         
                                         gets up and the walls were moving.
                                         
                                         People were laughing so hard
                                         
                                         because he's doing stuff. You ever go out to Lake Winnetouba and you buy
                                         
                                         bait? He goes, a specific lake.
                                         
    
                                         He goes, you ever go to Lake Winnetouba on the ice
                                         
                                         and people go, ahhh!
                                         
                                         And they go, you ever buy bait from
                                         
                                         Elaine's Baitfish? Like, you know,
                                         
                                         specific. And Elaine's daughter.
                                         
                                         And then he goes, Elaine's daughter, Beth,
                                         
                                         works the counter. She's got a hair lip.
                                         
                                         They knew who the woman was who worked a specific counter at a bait shop.
                                         
    
                                         And I'm trying to think of Vikings names.
                                         
                                         Like, local.
                                         
                                         That is, and if they don't listen to us.
                                         
                                         Carl Eller.
                                         
                                         How about that Alan Page?
                                         
                                         And Chuck Foreman still playing?
                                         
                                         Hey, Brent Tarkin, then he could really scramble.
                                         
                                         Talk about Lake Waddamantoba.
                                         
    
                                         And he had a super Lake Watomantoba ice fishing.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         Some guy said when he...
                                         
                                         What the fuck was his name?
                                         
                                         I worked with him one time.
                                         
                                         But he said he did that one time
                                         
                                         when he had the local guy who was crushing.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         The guy would have clothes with a crushing bit
                                         
                                         and the crowd would go nuts.
                                         
                                         And then he'd bring up the headline.
                                         
                                         He goes, you know what?
                                         
                                         I'd like to see more of that feature so let's bring them back up for
                                         
                                         an encore but if you just give up the like of two hours thank you
                                         
                                         no I taught I tell you to complain to me because I used to talk to a tell a lot
                                         
                                         on the phone you know and then uh he would always complain I used to to do
                                         
    
                                         you need to tell to do you have a tell shit? Well, I don't talk to him.
                                         
                                         Why?
                                         
                                         He's crazy.
                                         
                                         Why don't you talk to him?
                                         
                                         He's insane.
                                         
                                         Him and Jessica, are they still going to have a baby?
                                         
                                         They're still going to adopt a baby?
                                         
                                         That was their thing.
                                         
    
                                         They were going to adopt a baby, and then I was like,
                                         
                                         do you guys have to fuck in front of the judge to show that you're gay?
                                         
                                         No, it's like, right, Mike?
                                         
                                         You look like you're upset.
                                         
                                         No, they're going to pretend they were gay so they could adopt a baby,
                                         
                                         so they could raise a family, because Rosemarie said no, right?
                                         
                                         So he wouldn't let them adopt him.
                                         
                                         Plus, he's got a good apartment.
                                         
    
                                         Is that true?
                                         
                                         So you don't talk to Dave?
                                         
                                         No, I talk to Dave.
                                         
                                         I see him, but he's crazy.
                                         
                                         You can't have a fucking conversation with him.
                                         
                                         Well, I've had conversations with him.
                                         
                                         No, I mean, you can at a deli, but then he's going to go have a cigarette.
                                         
                                         But you smoke, too, right?
                                         
    
                                         I do smoke, yeah.
                                         
                                         It's a perfect time to talk.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you guys walk outside and smoke.
                                         
                                         But is there anybody you'd call a friend, like a friend that you confide in in comedy?
                                         
                                         Or, like, you know.
                                         
                                         Correale?
                                         
                                         Who do you talk to?
                                         
                                         Correale?
                                         
    
                                         No, I don't.
                                         
                                         He moved to Buffalo.
                                         
                                         I had a falling out with Correale.
                                         
                                         Oh, no.
                                         
                                         Who haven't you had a falling out with?
                                         
                                         Mike, have we had a falling out?
                                         
                                         You've tried with me.
                                         
                                         I won't let it happen.
                                         
    
                                         Correale Brewer?
                                         
                                         What about Jim?
                                         
                                         Brewer?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         He's got no trouble.
                                         
                                         Brewer.
                                         
                                         People that are close to Correale.
                                         
                                         I like Jim.
                                         
    
                                         I like Brewer.
                                         
                                         Brewer's a good egg.
                                         
                                         He's a good egg.
                                         
                                         There you go. I was going to say.
                                         
                                         There you go.
                                         
                                         I was going to say,
                                         
                                         Atel used to always complain about his opening acts.
                                         
                                         I go, who's your opening act?
                                         
    
                                         He goes, Big Jay.
                                         
                                         I go, well, why don't you just get somebody else?
                                         
                                         He goes, I think you should be able to follow anybody.
                                         
                                         I go, not if you bring the guy.
                                         
                                         Bring somebody.
                                         
                                         Bring like a black lady with a limp.
                                         
                                         Oh, sure, because he was too good.
                                         
                                         No, he was too good, and he was similar to Atel.
                                         
    
                                         Like, a lot of times when you bring a guy after a while,
                                         
                                         he starts to do your act.
                                         
                                         He's influenced by you because you're great
                                         
                                         and then he sees you.
                                         
                                         Gaffigan said he would bring a guy
                                         
                                         and he'd start doing the
                                         
                                         side voice.
                                         
                                         You know the lady side voice?
                                         
    
                                         I'm a fucking high school dropout,
                                         
                                         longshoreman from North Jersey.
                                         
                                         When I was opening for Norm, I started talking like him.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you can't help it.
                                         
                                         How the fuck am I talking like a Canadian farm boy
                                         
                                         right now? Yeah, so if your father will tell you,
                                         
                                         you're going to start talking like a teller.
                                         
                                         And as great as Big J is,
                                         
    
                                         he's still influenced, but
                                         
                                         it tells like so dumb. I'm like, just switch
                                         
                                         to get somebody else, you know? You don't have to
                                         
                                         fucking use the same guy. So these are the conversations we'll go?
                                         
                                         And that's why you were frustrated with him?
                                         
                                         No, because he would
                                         
                                         always talk about...
                                         
                                         It sounds like you were
                                         
    
                                         jumping down his throat.
                                         
                                         No, he would always
                                         
                                         talk about dumb shit
                                         
                                         and then I'd have to be like,
                                         
                                         oh, Dave, come on.
                                         
                                         He's an idiot.
                                         
                                         He's like Michael Jackson.
                                         
                                         He's a savant on stage.
                                         
    
                                         Off stage,
                                         
                                         he's a fucking moron.
                                         
                                         I don't think
                                         
                                         that's true at all.
                                         
                                         He's an idiot.
                                         
                                         He's an idiot.
                                         
                                         Get him in here.
                                         
                                         Ladies and gentlemen,
                                         
    
                                         Dave Attell. I don't think that's true at all. No, he idiot. He's an idiot. Get him in here. Ladies and gentlemen, Dave Attell.
                                         
                                         I don't think that's true at all.
                                         
                                         No, he's my best friend in comedy, but he's a
                                         
                                         fucking... He is? He was.
                                         
                                         He was. I thought it was Jim Gaffigan.
                                         
                                         No. Attell used to bring
                                         
                                         me up. If he emceeded a club, he goes,
                                         
                                         this is my best... When we first started,
                                         
    
                                         he goes, Kevin Brennan, my best friend in comedy.
                                         
                                         I go, why you gotta fucking qualify?
                                         
                                         Why can't you just say my best friend? He's trying to be nice. Just say your best friend. You have to say best friend in comedy I like why you gotta fucking qualify why can't you just see my best friend
                                         
                                         so he's trying to be nice
                                         
                                         yeah I said
                                         
                                         just say your best friend
                                         
                                         you have to say
                                         
                                         best friend in comedy
                                         
    
                                         like the crowd gives a shit
                                         
                                         like is he his best friend
                                         
                                         for real
                                         
                                         or just in comedy
                                         
                                         but fuck what the crowd
                                         
                                         thinks you don't want to tell
                                         
                                         so that probably just means
                                         
                                         best friend to him
                                         
    
                                         I don't know
                                         
                                         but I'm like
                                         
                                         just don't fucking
                                         
                                         what do you think
                                         
                                         he's got a couple of the
                                         
                                         nicks he hangs out with
                                         
                                         or something
                                         
                                         you know how he is
                                         
    
                                         I mean you don't see that side of a tell.
                                         
                                         I do see that side of him.
                                         
                                         But he's a good friend to you, though, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, sure.
                                         
                                         Dave is...
                                         
                                         He's been...
                                         
                                         He helped save my life.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         I love the guy.
                                         
                                         Who do you like more, Russ or Dave?
                                         
                                         I like them both equally.
                                         
                                         I might have a baby with both of them.
                                         
                                         You should be someone's mom.
                                         
                                         That's what my mom says about her kids.
                                         
                                         What do you want?
                                         
                                         That's a Sophie's choice for me right now.
                                         
    
                                         It's not you guys.
                                         
                                         My favorite is Natalie.
                                         
                                         Natalie.
                                         
                                         There you go.
                                         
                                         I love that.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         I brought him to fucking Cincinnati for me to open for me one time.
                                         
                                         And I told them, they said, we were coming on different flights.
                                         
    
                                         So they said, what does Natalie look like?
                                         
                                         I said, he looks like Milhouse from The Simpsons.
                                         
                                         Without the glasses.
                                         
                                         So they picked him up, and then later that night,
                                         
                                         the guy who picked him up, who's the manager of the club,
                                         
                                         told Natterman the story.
                                         
                                         He goes, Kevin said he looks like Milhouse from The Simpsons,
                                         
                                         and Natterman goes, they did come right for me.
                                         
    
                                         So he's not wrong.
                                         
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                                         So when you travel,
                                         
                                         how often do you do the road now?
                                         
                                         No, I don't.
                                         
                                         I go through spurts where I sell
                                         
                                         tickets. When I did an HBO half hour, I sold
                                         
                                         some tickets and then it fucking
                                         
    
                                         dries up, right Mike?
                                         
                                         Did part of you ever think like, look, Neil's my brother.
                                         
                                         Let me give him a call.
                                         
                                         Let me try to work it out.
                                         
                                         No, but we did do stuff.
                                         
                                         We did do stuff.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no, but like.
                                         
                                         Now?
                                         
    
                                         It almost makes me a little sad.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         It does.
                                         
                                         I never even think about it.
                                         
                                         I never even think about it.
                                         
                                         Clearly you think about it all the time.
                                         
                                         No, I just knew you would bring it up.
                                         
                                         No, you brought it up.
                                         
    
                                         Actually, it was fucked up because.
                                         
                                         You mentioned his name.
                                         
                                         Right outside this fucking studio,
                                         
                                         I put my,
                                         
                                         there was like a bus stop
                                         
                                         and I put my bag down
                                         
                                         because I wanted to see
                                         
                                         what Tommy said
                                         
    
                                         was the address
                                         
                                         and I put my bag down
                                         
                                         and right against the wall
                                         
                                         is a fucking mural
                                         
                                         of Michelle Wolfe's
                                         
                                         fucking Netflix thing.
                                         
                                         And you directed that?
                                         
                                         He probably had
                                         
    
                                         something to do with it
                                         
                                         because he smelled
                                         
                                         her fucking taint,
                                         
                                         if you know what I'm saying.
                                         
                                         He was a star fucker
                                         
                                         of the highest order.
                                         
                                         And now you've got to give him points for that.
                                         
                                         He is amazing at it.
                                         
    
                                         He should teach a fucking class in star fuckery.
                                         
                                         You could not teach that class.
                                         
                                         No, I'm not good.
                                         
                                         I'm socially awkward.
                                         
                                         I mean, I'd hang out with Mike after 15 minutes.
                                         
                                         Mike would be like, yeah, I'm going to head home, Kevin.
                                         
                                         I mean, he would fucking shoot me down. Yeah, but Artie thinks
                                         
                                         that I like star fuckers like hanging out
                                         
    
                                         at Lago in LA and that kind of guy would turn it
                                         
                                         out there. No, he's talking about a different thing.
                                         
                                         But you think...
                                         
                                         Neil's just great at it. He was
                                         
                                         kind of groomed to do it because he used to,
                                         
                                         when I used to work at the improv, he would come up, he was like
                                         
                                         15, 16 years old and he would just,
                                         
                                         he kind of just knew nothing else.
                                         
    
                                         Now, but did you ever like try to put your arm, throw your arm the kid and say listen let me try to help you out or we owe you
                                         
                                         who knew yeah you probably know i got him the fucking job at fucking boston comedy which led
                                         
                                         to all everything he only got he only was friends with chappelle because he worked at boston comedy
                                         
                                         where did it go wrong with you and him like how did how when when we were like when did it become
                                         
                                         this we were never tight so then it was like you know what i mean it this? We were never tight. So then it was like, you know what I mean?
                                         
                                         It's like we were never tight.
                                         
                                         So I'm like the brothers that I was closer in age with, I'm still friendly with.
                                         
                                         Any other brothers in comedy or did they do a brother?
                                         
    
                                         How many, what's boys and girls?
                                         
                                         What's the breakdown?
                                         
                                         Big boys, four girls.
                                         
                                         And no one else is in showbiz?
                                         
                                         Just Neil?
                                         
                                         My brother, my brother, no, here's a Neil story.
                                         
                                         My brother, Danny.
                                         
                                         Here's a Neil story.
                                         
    
                                         Do you know Danny?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         Mike?
                                         
                                         Danny Brennan? Yeah, you know him? I know Danny? No. Mike? Danny Brennan?
                                         
                                         Yeah, you know him?
                                         
                                         I actually know a few Danny Brennans that are not related to him.
                                         
                                         Where'd you go?
                                         
                                         He used to work in Philadelphia.
                                         
    
                                         He used to work in a...
                                         
                                         Danny used to work at the comic strip.
                                         
                                         People know him because he used to play cars.
                                         
                                         He was hanging out at Eddie Brill's house and whatever.
                                         
                                         Anyway, Danny auditioned for something on the show.
                                         
                                         How old is he?
                                         
                                         He's a two-year... Him and Neal grew up. They're nine and ten in the order. How old is he? He's a two year,
                                         
                                         him and Neil grew up,
                                         
    
                                         they're nine and ten
                                         
                                         in the order,
                                         
                                         so they grew up together.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Neil,
                                         
                                         Danny auditioned for something
                                         
                                         in the Chappelle show
                                         
                                         and they didn't give it to Danny,
                                         
    
                                         but what Neil did as a favor,
                                         
                                         Neil sent Danny the clip
                                         
                                         of the guy who got his
                                         
                                         audition date
                                         
                                         to be helpful
                                         
                                         and Danny wanted to
                                         
                                         fucking kill him, because Danny's
                                         
                                         bigger than Neil. But who isn't? Mother Teresa's
                                         
    
                                         bigger than Neil. So fucking,
                                         
                                         so Danny wants to fucking kill Neil,
                                         
                                         and then my mom gets
                                         
                                         involved. I call my mom, I go, yeah, that's kind of fucked up.
                                         
                                         And she's like, well, you know, he
                                         
                                         was trying to be helpful. I go, you're a star
                                         
                                         fucking cunt too, you fucking cunt.
                                         
                                         I hope she doesn't watch this show.
                                         
    
                                         I don't think she's a big fan.
                                         
                                         Wouldn't it be great if your mother was like the biggest Artie Lang fan?
                                         
                                         Artie Lang of all time.
                                         
                                         That's horrible.
                                         
                                         Shouldn't have been the tape who got it?
                                         
                                         Huh?
                                         
                                         Shouldn't have been the tape who booked it?
                                         
                                         Yeah, because he wanted to show the guy like why he got it because he was better.
                                         
    
                                         He thought it would be like an instructional video for Danny.
                                         
                                         Do you think it was a hostile thing or like he really thought it was?
                                         
                                         No, but he thought he was doing him a favor.
                                         
                                         Danny was like, why are you fucking rubbing it in?
                                         
                                         You don't hire your own brother?
                                         
                                         That is an odd thing.
                                         
                                         You don't hire your own brother and you fucking, and then you send me the reel of the guy who got it?
                                         
                                         Does your mother get involved with these feuds a lot?
                                         
    
                                         No, if she gets dragged in.
                                         
                                         Like, what if your mother did hear this podcast?
                                         
                                         Would she be all freaked out that you're talking about?
                                         
                                         I mean, you're both her babies.
                                         
                                         She knows she's a cunt.
                                         
                                         Anyway, is that what you think she'd be upset about?
                                         
                                         Mike, relax. It's not your mom. That's right. We didn't get to her yet. Now, she's a cunt. Anyway. Who do you think she was? Mike, relax.
                                         
                                         It's not your mom.
                                         
    
                                         That's right.
                                         
                                         We didn't get to her yet.
                                         
                                         Now, what about your dad?
                                         
                                         Passed.
                                         
                                         Now, what was your
                                         
                                         relationship like with him?
                                         
                                         You know, whatever.
                                         
                                         He was, you know,
                                         
    
                                         whatever.
                                         
                                         My relationship was
                                         
                                         probably better with my mom.
                                         
                                         It sounds great.
                                         
                                         It was probably better
                                         
                                         with my mom.
                                         
                                         I like my mom, but, you know.
                                         
                                         What did your old man
                                         
    
                                         do for a living?
                                         
                                         He was a lawyer.
                                         
                                         Oh, wow.
                                         
                                         No, but he...
                                         
                                         Did you grow up with money?
                                         
                                         My dad died with money, but we didn't have money growing up because they were very cheap.
                                         
                                         Because they had 10 kids.
                                         
                                         They had to be fucking frugal.
                                         
    
                                         I was going to say, that's a lot of work.
                                         
                                         But here's another thing.
                                         
                                         When we were growing up, the older kids, if we wanted to go to college, we had to stay in the city we were at.
                                         
                                         Did you grow up in Philly proper?
                                         
                                         No, in the suburbs.
                                         
                                         But if we wanted to go to school, we had to go to school
                                         
                                         in Philadelphia. We had to live at home.
                                         
                                         And the later kids,
                                         
    
                                         they paid Neil to go
                                         
                                         to fucking NYU film school.
                                         
                                         And I confronted my parents. I go,
                                         
                                         what the fuck? I go, what the fuck?
                                         
                                         I go, no, because I wanted reparations.
                                         
                                         The bitterness is like insane.
                                         
                                         I'm like, you're
                                         
                                         paying him to go to New York and go to NYU fucking film school with those Jews?
                                         
    
                                         So he goes, so my dad goes, my dad goes, my dad goes, they let me pay with my American Express card.
                                         
                                         I got points.
                                         
                                         I go, fuck you.
                                         
                                         Your dad said that to you?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So I made them, yeah, I got 25,000 points.
                                         
                                         His name's Joey.
                                         
                                         So I said, well, he's a lawyer. So he's influenced by them. So I made them, yeah, he's got 25,000 points. So I said, well, he's a lawyer, so he's influenced by them.
                                         
    
                                         So I made them give me money.
                                         
                                         I go, give me two grand.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
                                         Yeah, because I was fucking furious.
                                         
                                         Emotional blackmail.
                                         
                                         No, because it's like.
                                         
                                         It sounds insanely toxic.
                                         
                                         No, the way.
                                         
    
                                         Like it's the most dysfunctional thing ever.
                                         
                                         The way they treat the older kids versus the way they treat the younger kids.
                                         
                                         Because they have more money and now they're like a normal family.
                                         
                                         Before you're like in the military.
                                         
                                         What's your relationship like with Danny, Brandon?
                                         
                                         Tight, tight.
                                         
                                         He's outside.
                                         
                                         He came here right over.
                                         
    
                                         I was going to say.
                                         
                                         He lives in Chicago.
                                         
                                         I'm friendly with him.
                                         
                                         I told you.
                                         
                                         I had an argument about ribs about you.
                                         
                                         I knew you from Philly.
                                         
                                         You are from Chicago.
                                         
                                         No, I was never from Philly.
                                         
    
                                         I was not from Philly. I didn't come here from Philly. I came here from Chicago. Oh, I was never from Philly. I was not from Philly.
                                         
                                         I didn't come here from Philly.
                                         
                                         I came here from Chicago.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         You went to college in Chicago?
                                         
                                         I went to school in Philly.
                                         
                                         My parents are from Chicago.
                                         
                                         Where'd you go?
                                         
    
                                         So when I graduated high school, they moved back to Chicago.
                                         
                                         I stayed in Philadelphia.
                                         
                                         Then I went to Chicago, started stand-up, and then I came back here.
                                         
                                         Where'd you go to college?
                                         
                                         St. Joe's.
                                         
                                         St. Joe's University.
                                         
                                         I was so long ago.
                                         
                                         It was a college back then. Joe's. St. Joe's University. I was so long ago. It was a college back then.
                                         
    
                                         For real.
                                         
                                         They changed the university when they got the
                                         
                                         Final Four. Harvard College.
                                         
                                         And then Neil went to
                                         
                                         NYU.
                                         
                                         NYU.
                                         
                                         To be film school.
                                         
                                         It sounds like if I may be Sigmund Freud for a second,
                                         
    
                                         it sounds like the older brother
                                         
                                         and the baby got more opportunities than you.
                                         
                                         No, through me, through me.
                                         
                                         There's no way I got him the job working at Boston Comedy because he dropped out of film school.
                                         
                                         And then I got him the job.
                                         
                                         Jason Steinberg.
                                         
                                         And then he meets Dave Chappelle.
                                         
                                         Jason Steinberg and Barry Katz ran the club.
                                         
    
                                         And then Neil started hanging around.
                                         
                                         And then there's no way he meets Chappelle unless that happens.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         So you're angry about that. No, I'm just saying that there's no way he gets Chappelle unless that happens. Right. So you're angry about that.
                                         
                                         No, I'm just saying.
                                         
                                         There's no way he gets the job as just a NYU kid.
                                         
                                         He got the job because he was my brother.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
    
                                         And then he met Chappelle because Chappelle just got to New York.
                                         
                                         So Chappelle didn't know anybody.
                                         
                                         He sees his kids the same age.
                                         
                                         They were the same age.
                                         
                                         They were both 18.
                                         
                                         Chappelle, like nobody even knew what to do with Chappelle when he got here because he was so good.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He was one of those guys that was like brilliant from 18 years old, which is very odd for Stan.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, his 10-minute set, his 15-minute set was great at 18.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         So, and then I remember he asked, all the other comics were jealous of him or like, and they didn't, and he was so young.
                                         
                                         So, nobody was his age.
                                         
                                         So, we'd hang out with Neil and then just by default, Neil was like, hey, so nobody was his age. We'd hang out with Neil, and then just by
                                         
                                         default, Neil was like, hey, that's
                                         
                                         funny, Dave. I've seen him in
                                         
                                         writing sessions. After season two
                                         
    
                                         of the Chappelle show,
                                         
                                         when things blew up,
                                         
                                         I was breaking up with my girlfriend
                                         
                                         at the time, so I was staying at Neil's.
                                         
                                         I was mostly staying with my
                                         
                                         new girlfriend, which turned out to be my wife,
                                         
                                         but I was leaving my stuff at Neil's house.
                                         
                                         What details?
                                         
    
                                         So I would come home,
                                         
                                         and him and Chappelle would be working on stuff.
                                         
                                         I mean, it was basically Chappelle talking,
                                         
                                         and Neil would go,
                                         
                                         that's funny, Dave.
                                         
                                         I'm not even kidding.
                                         
                                         It sounds like I'm doing a bit,
                                         
                                         but it sounds like...
                                         
    
                                         You give him no credit at all.
                                         
                                         No, he would go,
                                         
                                         that's funny, Dave.
                                         
                                         Right.
                                         
                                         I mean, Dave would do most of the talking.
                                         
                                         It's called Chappelle's show. I mean, Dave would do most of the talking. It's called Chappelle's show.
                                         
                                         I mean, I know, but so you're making him creator.
                                         
                                         Well, I didn't make him anything.
                                         
    
                                         You and Gino did.
                                         
                                         That is the fucking, Gino Biscotti.
                                         
                                         That is the.
                                         
                                         Where's the camera?
                                         
                                         That's the going.
                                         
                                         That's the going.
                                         
                                         That's the going rumor.
                                         
                                         No, I know.
                                         
    
                                         That's what people think.
                                         
                                         Is his credit created by, co-created by?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Okay, so?
                                         
                                         No, I know.
                                         
                                         So how am I a fucking asshole?
                                         
                                         Why not?
                                         
                                         I'm just looking at the fucking show.
                                         
    
                                         No, people send me clips.
                                         
                                         Not the credits.
                                         
                                         People send me clips just to get me furious.
                                         
                                         Is that true?
                                         
                                         No, people go like,
                                         
                                         Artie and Gina were talking about your show.
                                         
                                         I go, send me the clip.
                                         
                                         You have one thing you said before you were sure.
                                         
    
                                         It's so easy to send a clip.
                                         
                                         And then I see him in a gig backstage before we go on.
                                         
                                         He's like, eh, fucking, you know.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but you sure, right?
                                         
                                         That co-created.
                                         
                                         That whole rant he just did backstage.
                                         
                                         Like this fucking 23-year-old shit comic.
                                         
                                         I get it all off my chest.
                                         
    
                                         I don't carry it around.
                                         
                                         It's good that you do that.
                                         
                                         I don't care.
                                         
                                         I used to carry it around.
                                         
                                         Dude, if you don't get it off your chest the way you do,
                                         
                                         the anger you have, you'll spray them all with bullets.
                                         
                                         Yeah, right.
                                         
                                         He said this right before.
                                         
    
                                         If he was like, great, right?
                                         
                                         Why don't you have eight more TV shows that are that good?
                                         
                                         Thanks, Mike.
                                         
                                         Thanks for doubling down.
                                         
                                         You know what?
                                         
                                         Let's just fucking isolate that and make it believe Mike is the only one who said that.
                                         
                                         Now you're done, dude.
                                         
                                         Now it's going to be your fucking...
                                         
    
                                         Now it's going to be your opinion.
                                         
                                         Not Kevin's.
                                         
                                         Let it be my opinion.
                                         
                                         I have balls for this fucking thing.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Who are you fighting?
                                         
                                         Who are you feuding with?
                                         
                                         Mike always...
                                         
    
                                         He said he invented
                                         
                                         the George Foreman grill
                                         
                                         before George Foreman.
                                         
                                         Really?
                                         
                                         The Mike Breschetti grill?
                                         
                                         If I'm not mistaken,
                                         
                                         I told Artie...
                                         
                                         It adds fat to it.
                                         
    
                                         If I'm not mistaken,
                                         
                                         I told Artie...
                                         
                                         I thought that
                                         
                                         Jeff Dunman
                                         
                                         invented a helicopter.
                                         
                                         No, Mike's always...
                                         
                                         Whenever I tweet something,
                                         
                                         Mike's always like,
                                         
    
                                         yeah, Kevin, let's get him.
                                         
                                         Me and you together.
                                         
                                         I'm like,
                                         
                                         who are we getting?
                                         
                                         Oh, wait a minute. So when Kevin tweeted, let's get him. Me and you together. I'm like, who are we getting? Wait a minute.
                                         
                                         So when Kevin tweeted, Artie is a hero because he's famous.
                                         
                                         All of the junkies are pieces of shit.
                                         
                                         So when Kevin tweeted that, did you say, let's get him?
                                         
    
                                         I might have.
                                         
                                         I was not on Twitter no more.
                                         
                                         No, on Facebook.
                                         
                                         Whenever somebody on Facebook goes.
                                         
                                         He got kicked off Twitter.
                                         
                                         How the fuck did you?
                                         
                                         Because he doesn't use commas.
                                         
                                         They won't tolerate it.
                                         
    
                                         No, but it wasn't because of grammar.
                                         
                                         I got banned six months now. What exactly did you do, Mike? They don't miss you. They the fuck did you... Because he doesn't use commas. They won't tolerate it. No, but it was because of grammar. I got banned six months now.
                                         
                                         What exactly did you do?
                                         
                                         They don't miss you.
                                         
                                         You're better on Facebook. How many followers do you have
                                         
                                         on Twitter? Not enough.
                                         
                                         Honestly, I'm a fan.
                                         
                                         Even when the anger
                                         
    
                                         is directed at me, I'm a Kevin Bray fan.
                                         
                                         No, you're a good sport, though.
                                         
                                         No, but you've been through a lot.
                                         
                                         You guys are kind of
                                         
                                         from the...
                                         
                                         I'm just saying,
                                         
                                         the fucking analogy
                                         
                                         to comics or babies
                                         
    
                                         is absolutely...
                                         
                                         But like, you know,
                                         
                                         you and Norm
                                         
                                         and all the shit
                                         
                                         you've been through,
                                         
                                         you guys just kind of
                                         
                                         laugh it off
                                         
                                         because you think,
                                         
    
                                         you kind of,
                                         
                                         you guys kind of think
                                         
                                         everything's funny.
                                         
                                         What else is good?
                                         
                                         Well, that's not true.
                                         
                                         No, but you know
                                         
                                         what I mean,
                                         
                                         like if it's...
                                         
    
                                         I'm not offended by much.
                                         
                                         No, you said on your, you said backstage the other day other day which basically is true is like all the pockets are the same
                                         
                                         It's a lot of good natured ribbing which is which is redundant. So I'm like, I'm like on the names
                                         
                                         I'll get into fucking feuds
                                         
                                         Okay
                                         
                                         I got banned from the cellar for a month the fucking the stand didn't use me for two months like I don't even know why
                                         
                                         Well, you're right that that that like tamenesseness, that insane gluten-free muffin-type niceness talking about health and yoga.
                                         
                                         And women comics are funny.
                                         
    
                                         Like, all this shit they feed you.
                                         
                                         You're like, fuck it.
                                         
                                         Michelle Wolf, give her a fucking another special and a billboard.
                                         
                                         And let Neil direct that, too.
                                         
                                         Yeah, yeah.
                                         
                                         Because that's hard.
                                         
                                         Hey, Michelle, wear your hair like this.
                                         
                                         Curly.
                                         
    
                                         You fucking cunts.
                                         
                                         You know what's funny?
                                         
                                         Eddie Murphy raw, like Robert Townsend directly. I was like, who your hair like this. Curly. You fucking cunt. You know what's funny? Eddie Murphy raw like Robert Townsend directly.
                                         
                                         I was like, who cares?
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         It's not like fucking Goodfellas.
                                         
                                         No, you probably get a nice paycheck, and it's the easiest gig of all time.
                                         
                                         And it's promotion.
                                         
    
                                         You say it's directed by the creator of the specials.
                                         
                                         A stand-up special is like, do the jokes that people like in a good order, and then that's directing.
                                         
                                         Or just not even give them that. Just do your act yeah like this I did a couple
                                         
                                         of companies others but I don't listen to those people yeah I mean what the
                                         
                                         fun I watch her I watch your full set the other night it was really good I was
                                         
                                         like if I would have had any tips I wouldn't really had it if I was
                                         
                                         directing I would have been like maybe do this or you thought about but it's
                                         
                                         the easiest fucking money you'll ever get. You are real men among men. Especially if it's a good hour.
                                         
    
                                         If it's a good hour, how can you fuck up a good hour?
                                         
                                         Well, it's like fucking Phil Jackson coaching Jordan Biffin.
                                         
                                         He's a real man among men.
                                         
                                         I respect him because...
                                         
                                         Are you talking about Phil Jackson?
                                         
                                         No, you're right.
                                         
                                         If Neil was my brother, when it comes to money...
                                         
                                         If Neil was your brother, he'd be living in Staten Island, that house.
                                         
    
                                         With all your other brothers.
                                         
                                         The Buschetti family brings you down.
                                         
                                         You don't bring them up.
                                         
                                         They drag you down.
                                         
                                         I'll take you to the ferry.
                                         
                                         Can you imagine if all the Brennans were still in that house?
                                         
                                         You're all jumping on the ferry.
                                         
                                         Where's Neil going?
                                         
    
                                         Let's follow Neil.
                                         
                                         Neil owns the ferry.
                                         
                                         What were you about to say?
                                         
                                         Just give Kevin a compliment.
                                         
                                         You are a man among men because most people...
                                         
                                         No, I'm not.
                                         
                                         I'm a coward.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
    
                                         I'm not the biggest coward.
                                         
                                         No, but most people would buckle to Neil and go and be like kissing his ass for no blue
                                         
                                         sushi and breaking his balls.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean, right?
                                         
                                         I'm not the biggest coward.
                                         
                                         That's true.
                                         
                                         You're not.
                                         
                                         Yeah, sometimes I...
                                         
    
                                         There's true.
                                         
                                         Sometimes I've been nice to Neil when I needed something, you know?
                                         
                                         Well, what, like what?
                                         
                                         Like one time I said.
                                         
                                         Did he come through and get you something?
                                         
                                         Yeah, one time I said, I said, I was doing a pilot.
                                         
                                         I was doing a pilot.
                                         
                                         And the guy, the guy said, that was when the Chappelle show was still going on.
                                         
    
                                         It was an HBO thing.
                                         
                                         It was like a half hour and a pilot.
                                         
                                         So I said that.
                                         
                                         And then he said, can you, it would probably help if Neil like directed the pilot or whatever or something.
                                         
                                         But that's a big time commitment too.
                                         
                                         So you asked him to direct the pilot?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         So I said, I asked Neil for something.
                                         
    
                                         Like I asked him for the favor that the guy told me to ask for.
                                         
                                         And then, so Neil goes, Neil goes, I'll direct the pilot.
                                         
                                         That's it.
                                         
                                         Because he goes, if you direct the pilot, then you get residuals forever.
                                         
                                         Is that what he said? No, because he knows. He knows if you direct the pilot, then you get residuals forever.
                                         
                                         Is that what he said?
                                         
                                         No, because he knows.
                                         
                                         He knows if you direct the pilot episode.
                                         
    
                                         Absolutely.
                                         
                                         It's almost like created by.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you get paid forever.
                                         
                                         Another creator.
                                         
                                         Wouldn't it be crazy if the Kevin Brennan show created by Neil Brennan?
                                         
                                         Dan, do you want to see anger?
                                         
                                         The Kevin Brennan show created by Neil Brennan.
                                         
                                         That would make me mad every day. And Danny Brennan.
                                         
    
                                         And Danny Brennan.
                                         
                                         Well, I think one day you guys are going to get over this.
                                         
                                         I do.
                                         
                                         Me too.
                                         
                                         I think one day he's going to meet your kids.
                                         
                                         Has he ever met your children?
                                         
                                         He met my, I think he met my daughter, but he's never met.
                                         
                                         Does he have kids?
                                         
    
                                         Listen, I love my kids.
                                         
                                         Does he have kids that you know?
                                         
                                         Huh?
                                         
                                         Does he have kids that you know?
                                         
                                         What do you mean?
                                         
                                         Does Neil have children?
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         Fuck no.
                                         
    
                                         His dick don't work.
                                         
                                         Okay. But let's negotiate't work. Okay, I'm sorry.
                                         
                                         But let's negotiate a piece.
                                         
                                         Yeah, right.
                                         
                                         It might be like what Sinatra was to Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         What did he do?
                                         
                                         What did he do?
                                         
    
                                         It didn't work out.
                                         
                                         Well, you know, Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin didn't talk for like 20 years.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         He made them.
                                         
                                         He brought them back.
                                         
                                         Sinatra brought them back together.
                                         
                                         But they still didn't work together.
                                         
                                         I mean, Jerry Lewis telethon.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, he did?
                                         
                                         Well, they're both dead at this point.
                                         
                                         We'll meet at Kettle of Fish
                                         
                                         and I'll bring a steak over
                                         
                                         and you guys will start
                                         
                                         talking to each other.
                                         
                                         What does that mean?
                                         
                                         I don't even know either.
                                         
    
                                         What does that mean?
                                         
                                         Kettle of Fish.
                                         
                                         Explain what you just said.
                                         
                                         Meet at Kettle of Fish downtown.
                                         
                                         Oh, that's not there anymore.
                                         
                                         The bar?
                                         
                                         Oh, it's gone?
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's gone.
                                         
    
                                         That's something else.
                                         
                                         That was a good story 10 years ago.
                                         
                                         Not even then.
                                         
                                         Even then it was questionable.
                                         
                                         It's gone?
                                         
                                         Fuck.
                                         
                                         No, I'm not worried.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but I don't believe it
                                         
    
                                         because if Neil were sitting here,
                                         
                                         he'd kiss his ass even more.
                                         
                                         You'd throw Kevin under the bus.
                                         
                                         He would.
                                         
                                         Probably, right?
                                         
                                         I'm just trying to be immediate
                                         
                                         because I like both of you.
                                         
                                         I like Neil a lot.
                                         
    
                                         He's always been very nice to me
                                         
                                         and you.
                                         
                                         Yeah, because every time he met you,
                                         
                                         you were famous,
                                         
                                         so of course he's going to be nice to you.
                                         
                                         If you're famous,
                                         
                                         he made, you know Elon Gold?
                                         
                                         I know Elon Gold.
                                         
    
                                         Neil did that stupid fucking movie that
                                         
                                         Jeremy Pippen was in.
                                         
                                         Oh yeah. Can you be more specific?
                                         
                                         He made
                                         
                                         The Goods, it was called.
                                         
                                         You're talking about Serendipity?
                                         
                                         He made Elon Gold.
                                         
                                         He said, Elon, you know, you've got to
                                         
    
                                         read for this fucking line.
                                         
                                         One line? He goes, it's not me, it's the studio. Elon goes, fuck said, you've got to read for this fucking line. He was going to be in one line.
                                         
                                         He goes,
                                         
                                         it's not me, it's the studio.
                                         
                                         Elon goes, fuck you, Neil.
                                         
                                         Neil's looking for every shortcut in the fucking business,
                                         
                                         but he wants Elon Gold,
                                         
                                         a guy who's been in comedy 20 years, to read.
                                         
    
                                         Elon's like, fuck you.
                                         
                                         Neil's a cunt because he won't help anybody.
                                         
                                         If I was in quicksand sinking, he'd be like, tough break.
                                         
                                         But if John Legend needed a fucking roll of toilet paper to clean his fucking dirty ass,
                                         
                                         I was going to say dark, to clean his dirty ass.
                                         
                                         I said on one of my shows, I said Neil would go to Africa to meet Chappelle's kid,
                                         
                                         but he wouldn't come 3.9 miles in fucking West L.A.
                                         
                                         So he's a star fucker.
                                         
    
                                         Did he fly to Africa to meet him?
                                         
                                         If I was famous,
                                         
                                         he'd be fucking kissing my ass.
                                         
                                         So it's my fault for not being famous,
                                         
                                         right, Mike?
                                         
                                         Don't give me that look, Mike.
                                         
                                         I'll fucking cut you.
                                         
                                         Well, maybe you should move
                                         
    
                                         your kids to Africa.
                                         
                                         Maybe you need a little seat.
                                         
                                         Yeah, right?
                                         
                                         Is that true?
                                         
                                         Did he go to Africa to see Chappelle?
                                         
                                         No, he would, though.
                                         
                                         He would do anything.
                                         
                                         Now you're spreading ugly rumors.
                                         
    
                                         He's going to be nice to you
                                         
                                         because you're famous.
                                         
                                         So it's like, that's how he is. He's a star fucker. I mean, I'm not the kind of famer where he has to be nice to you because you're famous. So it's like that's how he is.
                                         
                                         He's a star fucker.
                                         
                                         I mean I'm not the
                                         
                                         kind of famer who has
                                         
                                         to be nice to me.
                                         
                                         You're pretty famous.
                                         
    
                                         You're pretty famous.
                                         
                                         I don't know if you
                                         
                                         remember you used to
                                         
                                         be a fucking rehash.
                                         
                                         Here's how famous I am.
                                         
                                         That's why I'm a hero.
                                         
                                         All other junkies are
                                         
                                         pieces of shit.
                                         
    
                                         We didn't see you for
                                         
                                         a while but you were
                                         
                                         very famous and you
                                         
                                         deserved it.
                                         
                                         You're a funny fucking
                                         
                                         guy. But Neil knows.
                                         
                                         Neil knows.
                                         
                                         Neil doesn't mess around.
                                         
    
                                         He's nice to you. If you're
                                         
                                         a regular comic, a struggling comic,
                                         
                                         you wouldn't have fucking ever met. He wouldn't have said
                                         
                                         boo. That's a fact, Mike.
                                         
                                         There you go. Mike,
                                         
                                         at the end of the podcast here, try to rebut
                                         
                                         that. I'd like to settle peace
                                         
                                         between the Brennan boys.
                                         
    
                                         I would do it for a Patreon episode.
                                         
                                         Let me tell you something.
                                         
                                         I think you can get both of them, if they can come in with a camera, to your house to do it.
                                         
                                         If you can get all the brothers.
                                         
                                         Mike, seriously, think about.
                                         
                                         Let Kevin produce the show in your house.
                                         
                                         Think about the show at your house.
                                         
                                         Actually, me and Neil at one point.
                                         
    
                                         Think about the show.
                                         
                                         When we were doing family stuff, me and Neil said we should Think about the show When we were like
                                         
                                         When we were doing
                                         
                                         Family stuff
                                         
                                         Me and Neil were saying
                                         
                                         We should do a reality show
                                         
                                         Just the 10 brand
                                         
                                         Yeah it sounds like
                                         
    
                                         Your house is a bit of a show
                                         
                                         Yeah but
                                         
                                         We don't live together
                                         
                                         They all fucking live together
                                         
                                         That's a cheap shot
                                         
                                         That's a cheap shoot
                                         
                                         The fact that
                                         
                                         With the mom
                                         
    
                                         Under one roof
                                         
                                         Huge house
                                         
                                         And now the sister
                                         
                                         And a sister
                                         
                                         The sister with you
                                         
                                         With longer hair
                                         
                                         Yeah
                                         
                                         And a dog Actually your brothers with you with longer hair? Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         And a dog.
                                         
                                         Actually, your brothers don't really look like you that much.
                                         
                                         No, no, thank God.
                                         
                                         Have you been to his house or you just met them?
                                         
                                         No, no, no.
                                         
                                         I was never at his house, but on my old direct TV show, I had the entire... Oh, right, right, right.
                                         
                                         It should have been on fucking PBS, dude.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but when he called...
                                         
    
                                         That was Emmy Award material.
                                         
                                         I had all of my shows.
                                         
                                         I'm with the mom.
                                         
                                         Were they talking or they just sitting there? Yeah, they went after me. My mom went after me on TV. Why? She of my shows. I'm with the mom. Were they talking? Yeah.
                                         
                                         They went after me.
                                         
                                         My mom went after me on TV. Why?
                                         
                                         She like roasted them.
                                         
                                         For not cleaning your room?
                                         
    
                                         She roasted me on TV.
                                         
                                         She brings them up like plates of raviolis in a bucket, and he leaves the plates under
                                         
                                         the bed, and then she has to come get them.
                                         
                                         Why do you do that?
                                         
                                         Well, I mean, you know, it happens.
                                         
                                         Why'd you do that?
                                         
                                         I was telling these guys before I did this.
                                         
                                         Why'd you do that?
                                         
    
                                         I was telling these guys.
                                         
                                         Oh, forget it.
                                         
                                         I can't even say it.
                                         
                                         What?
                                         
                                         Say it.
                                         
                                         Now you can't even say it. What? Say it. No, when I said before.
                                         
                                         Now you can't say something?
                                         
                                         When I said before the show, when somebody sent me a clip of you saying to Mike, Mike,
                                         
    
                                         so what are you, retarded?
                                         
                                         I was like, when you guys worked at Erwin before you started the show?
                                         
                                         Mike, officially, what are you?
                                         
                                         In the auditions.
                                         
                                         No, I was saying about Arnie.
                                         
                                         I know what you are.
                                         
                                         You're just a lovable oaf.
                                         
                                         Of course.
                                         
    
                                         No, Mike is my good friend and my co-host.
                                         
                                         Mike is my Neil friend and my co-host. Mike is my Neil.
                                         
                                         Mike is my Jim Gaffigan slash
                                         
                                         Neil slash Attell and Russ.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I should make up with somebody.
                                         
                                         So out of this, Corey Elliott
                                         
                                         falling out with you said... Yeah, but it's not
                                         
                                         even like, whatever. I just
                                         
    
                                         listen. I think for too long I was like...
                                         
                                         Do you think you start off with what
                                         
                                         you say, like joking around, being mean,
                                         
                                         and you hope people react kind of like I do,
                                         
                                         where it's like, you know,
                                         
                                         like you love Norm, you and Norm are friends, right?
                                         
                                         I'm friends with Louie.
                                         
                                         I do dates with Louie, and you know, but you know...
                                         
    
                                         So you're Louie's only friend?
                                         
                                         No, I didn't...
                                         
                                         No, I know, I just know how comics are like...
                                         
                                         Has Louie ever jerked off in front of you?
                                         
                                         Not yet.
                                         
                                         Are you pissed off about that?
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         No but the point is
                                         
    
                                         that like I just
                                         
                                         I'm like I'm not
                                         
                                         listen who's funnier
                                         
                                         than Attell?
                                         
                                         Nobody.
                                         
                                         Okay so if you go
                                         
                                         by that theory
                                         
                                         if you go by that theory
                                         
    
                                         then what do I have
                                         
                                         to be afraid
                                         
                                         like I'm not
                                         
                                         I'm not intimidated
                                         
                                         by comics.
                                         
                                         Okay you can make the point
                                         
                                         that Norm and Attell
                                         
                                         are the funniest guys
                                         
    
                                         of all time. So I know them both I know Attell way better but I and Attell are the funniest guys of all time.
                                         
                                         So I know them both.
                                         
                                         I know Attell way better, but I know Norm a little bit.
                                         
                                         And so I'm not intimidated by comics because I know the guys that are geniuses.
                                         
                                         Attell's a fucking genius, and Norm might be too.
                                         
                                         I don't know him as well, but Attell's a genius.
                                         
                                         I'm not intimidated by these comics, you know?
                                         
                                         Yeah, but you're a very funny guy too, so that's why you know you're funny.
                                         
    
                                         But I'm not like Dave Chappelle or Dave Attell level, you know, or Norm Macdonald level.
                                         
                                         But I'm not intimidated by these guys.
                                         
                                         I think you're up there, Kev.
                                         
                                         Me too.
                                         
                                         I'm going to say, I think you even hate yourself.
                                         
                                         I have always put you up there in the upper echelon.
                                         
                                         I'm not.
                                         
                                         But again, I don't care, but I'm saying I'm not intimidated by these guys.
                                         
    
                                         I'm not intimidated because most comics— I'll say it tells a piece of shit because he is. I mean, I love the guy, but I'm saying I'm not intimidated by this guy. I'm not intimidated because most comics-
                                         
                                         I'll say it tells a piece of shit because he is.
                                         
                                         I mean, I love the guy, but he's a fucking idiot.
                                         
                                         He's like the direct opposite of a piece of shit.
                                         
                                         No, he's-
                                         
                                         He really is.
                                         
                                         He's a moron.
                                         
                                         He's just a moron.
                                         
    
                                         Like, on stage, how would it go from being a genius on stage, and as soon as you get
                                         
                                         off stage, you don't even know how to light a cigarette?
                                         
                                         Like, he's a fucking idiot.
                                         
                                         I've seen him light many cigarettes.
                                         
                                         I sent him a text.
                                         
                                         I sent him a text.
                                         
                                         48 hours later, I'll be like, okay.
                                         
                                         Maybe it's not.
                                         
    
                                         I'm like, 48 hours.
                                         
                                         That is true.
                                         
                                         Give me something more than okay.
                                         
                                         That is true.
                                         
                                         Be a fucking, be white about it.
                                         
                                         Sorry again.
                                         
                                         That is true.
                                         
                                         Be like, because we've been together a long time.
                                         
    
                                         So like, I can't get better than okay.
                                         
                                         Well, what do you want him to say?
                                         
                                         You want an emoji or something?
                                         
                                         If I ask him to do a gig, he'll be like, oh, let me know.
                                         
                                         I go, I just did.
                                         
                                         Well, what do you want him to say? Like four he'll be like, oh, let me know. I go, I just did. What do you want?
                                         
                                         Just be a fucking
                                         
                                         normal person.
                                         
    
                                         Just be a normal person.
                                         
                                         A lot of comics
                                         
                                         are not normal.
                                         
                                         You're not normal.
                                         
                                         You think you're normal?
                                         
                                         I'm trying,
                                         
                                         I'm working through it.
                                         
                                         You're not even close
                                         
    
                                         to normal, bro.
                                         
                                         I'm trying.
                                         
                                         Which is why
                                         
                                         you're in
                                         
                                         Argylang's halfway house.
                                         
                                         Nobody's normal
                                         
                                         in this room.
                                         
                                         That's a segue.
                                         
    
                                         Nobody's normal
                                         
                                         in this room right now.
                                         
                                         Nobody's normal
                                         
                                         in this room. Yeah, that's a good room, segue. We brought her right back. Nobody's normal in this room right now. Huh? Nobody's normal in this room.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's a good room, though.
                                         
                                         I think Bocchetti's the most normal.
                                         
                                         Well, this is why.
                                         
                                         But, Mike, think about it.
                                         
    
                                         Talk to Tommy after the show.
                                         
                                         Think about it.
                                         
                                         You could probably sell it.
                                         
                                         Absolutely.
                                         
                                         Like Kev and Neil created.
                                         
                                         I'm in, I'm in.
                                         
                                         Whatever you need me to do.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but how's Neil to work with?
                                         
    
                                         No, not Neil.
                                         
                                         We're not going to, you don't need Neil.
                                         
                                         You don't need Neil.
                                         
                                         And, of course, maybe Danny. And, of course, you know not going to... You don't need Neil. You don't need Neil. And of course, maybe Danny.
                                         
                                         And of course,
                                         
                                         you know...
                                         
                                         Danny, bring Danny
                                         
                                         on as a writer.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Forget the Neil?
                                         
                                         Forget Neil Jelen?
                                         
                                         No, no, bring Danny
                                         
                                         on as executive editor.
                                         
                                         And then hire somebody else
                                         
                                         and send Danny the script
                                         
                                         that got hired over his...
                                         
    
                                         It's classic Neil.
                                         
                                         He thinks he's doing a favor.
                                         
                                         He's being the biggest
                                         
                                         cunt imaginable
                                         
                                         and he thinks he's like,
                                         
                                         no, I did my brother a solid.
                                         
                                         My brother that I grew up with, basically grew up with.
                                         
                                         Just the two of them in the house at the end.
                                         
    
                                         Just him and my mom and my dad and Neil and Danny.
                                         
                                         And he still is like, hey, let me fuck over Danny and pretend I'm doing him a favor.
                                         
                                         Right, Mike?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Well, listen, I got it.
                                         
                                         No, I'm okay.
                                         
                                         I'm okay.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
    
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         I know you're okay.
                                         
                                         I'll tell you already, because for a long time, I was worried.
                                         
                                         Like, oh, this guy. You know how I got on Crash? I used to always shit on Crashing. Yeah, I know. And then you're okay. I'll tell you already because for a long time I was worried. Oh, this guy.
                                         
                                         You know how I got on Crash?
                                         
                                         I used to always shit on Crashing.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I know.
                                         
                                         And then I got on Crashing.
                                         
    
                                         I'm like, hey, maybe that's a magic formula.
                                         
                                         Just shit on a show.
                                         
                                         I think a lot of...
                                         
                                         I would respect a guy more in comedy.
                                         
                                         Again, the constant ass kissing gets to be...
                                         
                                         And the constant fear.
                                         
                                         You got to be afraid of the club owner or this guy or that guy or the Tonight Show.
                                         
                                         Or you're constantly living in fear.
                                         
    
                                         Constant, and it's constant asking. It's constant niceness, niceness, niceness.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and as soon as they leave they fucking talk shit about the guy. I just do it on mic.
                                         
                                         Right!
                                         
                                         And I-
                                         
                                         But people, everybody talks shit about the comic. As soon as they leave the comedy cell, whoever they don't like,
                                         
                                         see what fucking this guy did or that guy did. I'm like, I just fucking, I just, right? Live, give me a live mic.
                                         
                                         I'll fucking name names.
                                         
                                         And you're doing it here. I like you name names because there's a lot of dickheads.
                                         
    
                                         Name one, you fucking coward.
                                         
                                         Big neck coward.
                                         
                                         And again, I'm wishing now, I'm wishing like now, like John Belushi, I had the guts to
                                         
                                         die at 33.
                                         
                                         All right, Kev, what do you want to plug?
                                         
                                         You want to plug something?
                                         
                                         Plug, uh.
                                         
                                         Besides your hair.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, I'm going to be at the Tommy's Club in Vegas, uh Club in Vegas Super Bowl weekend, whatever that is.
                                         
                                         That's nice.
                                         
                                         Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
                                         
                                         That's always a good gig.
                                         
                                         And then listen to my podcast, Mizzy Loves Company.
                                         
                                         On this network.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but it's not on here yet.
                                         
                                         So just go to my Twitter, KevinBrandon666.
                                         
    
                                         It's all there.
                                         
                                         You can find it.
                                         
                                         It'll be off this network a week after it gets on this network.
                                         
                                         And Bill Schultz and I will be here.
                                         
                                         I guess they're not hiring junkies.
                                         
                                         Again,
                                         
                                         those tweets are my favorite.
                                         
                                         Mike,
                                         
    
                                         your thoughts at the end.
                                         
                                         Name people you hate
                                         
                                         and I'll just nod.
                                         
                                         He just named
                                         
                                         4,000 the last hour.
                                         
                                         Name somebody you hate
                                         
                                         and I'll just nod
                                         
                                         if I hate them.
                                         
    
                                         Mrs. Bocchetti.
                                         
                                         No, I can't do that.
                                         
                                         Do you like your mom?
                                         
                                         You love your mom.
                                         
                                         He loves her mom.
                                         
                                         Do you like her though?
                                         
                                         I love my mom.
                                         
                                         But do you like her?
                                         
    
                                         No, come on. Just name people you hate and I'll just nod if I hate them. No, you can. If? You love your mom. He loves your mom. Do you like her, though? I love my mom. But do you like her? They'll come to me.
                                         
                                         They'll just not if I hate them.
                                         
                                         No, we can.
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         If you give me a list.
                                         
                                         Don't.
                                         
                                         Don't.
                                         
                                         A list?
                                         
    
                                         Schindler's List.
                                         
                                         Bocchetti's List.
                                         
                                         Angie's List.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         Thanks, Kev.
                                         
                                         That's a good joke.
                                         
                                         Angie's List.
                                         
    
                                         Schindler's List.
                                         
                                         That's good stuff, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Listen, thanks for coming.
                                         
                                         Go see Artie.
                                         
                                         He's very funny.
                                         
                                         No, because I feel bad because sometimes I took shots at you.
                                         
                                         But I never saw you do a long set.
                                         
    
                                         I always saw you do 10 minutes comedy.
                                         
                                         Don't worry about it, Kev.
                                         
                                         It's all good.
                                         
                                         All right.
                                         
                                         It's all good.
                                         
                                         I love you.
                                         
                                         All right, Mike.
                                         
                                         Thanks for having me.
                                         
    
                                         Take care, right?
                                         
                                         Take care.
                                         
                                         Brush your hair.
                                         
                                         We'll see you next time.
                                         
                                         Thanks, Kev. next time.
                                         
