Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 30 - JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

Artie is joined by fellow New Jersey stand-up comic and success story Joey Diaz, another listener voicemail from a supporter, and Mike Bocchetti. Support Artie by joining at Patreon.com/ArtieLange or by clicking the JOIN button on his YouTube page. You'll get access to the exclusive Thursday episodes and nearly 400 Artie Quitter podcast episodes. Patreon supporters at the "Artie Insider" level will get access to Artie's voicemail line to leave a message to be addressed on a future show.

We're back with Artie Lang's Halfway House. Mike Borchetti is joining us. Mike, how you doing? I'm doing fairly well, Arthur. I just heard you take a guzzle of water. That was one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard yeah but you know what though it's Poland's spring right? yeah

they said it's around since 1845 that's full of nonsense that's wrong what did they put it in in 1845 a friggin caveman's pot I mean come on they were pretty far behind the times compared to now. Yeah,

real bottled water was not around in 1845. Who says that about Poland Spring, 1845? I think so, but the thing is, guys, right, when did you really hear about bottled water? Because first of all, like, first of all, cable itself, right,

didn't get to Staten Island until the late 80s, like 88, 89, or 87. But my cousins had it in Long Island and upstate had it for years. What, cable? They had cable in the early 70s upstate. And in Long Island, we didn't get it until the late 80s. You're saying cable television didn't get to Staten Island until the late 80s? Like 87, 88. No, that's wrong, Mike.

No, it's true. That's, what do you think Staten Island is? Like fucking Iceland or something? No, it's true because we used to visit my cousins in the state and they had cable in the early 70s. Yeah. Okay, as well as my cousins in Long Island did.

The early 70s is a bit early. I remember like 78, 79. That's what I remember. I never got capable. I wasn't watching anything like 87, 88. So you're saying I, in Union, New Jersey, I was 10 years ahead of Staten Island? Easily. No, that's wrong.

No, because I swear, I'll get proof from hell. Maybe you didn't get it. Maybe your family didn't get it. No, no. Nobody in Staten Island had it. It was like limited. Maybe you didn't get it. Maybe your family didn't get it. No, no. Nobody in Staten Island had it. It was, like, limited. Have you discussed this with other people?

But they did have the guys, that big flying dish on the wall. I mean, on the roof. Yeah. Satellite they had. That's wrong. That's wrong. No, satellite with the big dishes came after cable television. I'm not sure.

So you're saying they had those big satellite dishes, but no cable. I've seen the satellite dishes maybe in the late 70s or early 80s. I don't know, but I also smoked a lot of pot and drank a lot in the early 80s. Yeah, it sounds like you were delusional. I don't know, but we didn't get cable. I swear to God, like November 87, I started watching like Bosom Buddies. What? Bosom Buddies with Tom Hanks? Yeah. You don't need cable for that. That's a network show.

I think it was. But I mean, I meant like, you know, like My Mother the Car, things like that. Sorry. My Mother the Car, now you're talking about 1952. 1966, I think. Jerry Van Dyke, one season. Yeah, so you're saying that you didn't see that until 1989. 87, like November 87th. Mike, I guarantee you, you had cable there in 1987. No, I mean, I swear to God.

This is the most frustrating argument anyone's ever had in the history. This is the worst argument we had about the Twilight Zone on the show. What argument was that? About the theme song in Twilight Zone. What's your theory about that? I forgot. You said, no, it wasn't something like that. I forgot what we battled about.

Good. The Twilight Zone is... Yeah. And what do you think it was? Rod Serling was brilliant. It's a shame he died. I think he was like 45 to 50. He was a brilliant mind.

He smoked like four or five packs of cigarettes a day. Well, he'd be 152 if he were alive today. And he was in this, Rod Sutherland was a Marine. How do you know all this about Twilight Zone? I just, I like, listen, I like to go on biographies about people. It makes them tick. It's awesome. That's true. Have you, have you ever considered putting your biography out? Like in book form?

My biography has like three words in it. What's that? Staten Island? No cable? Staten Island? Question mark. That's two words. Yeah, that's two words in the... Let me take another sip. I'm sorry. Is that your

1845 spring water? No, this is some shit brand my brother bought called Golden. I never heard of this nonsense before. I better make sure it's not upstairs. But it tastes like water, correct? No, it tastes like piss. Really.

Now that I've drank piss. How often have you drank piss? Probably when I was drunk, maybe. I don't know. Do you think that's true that you actually drank someone's urine when I was drunk, maybe. I don't know. Do you think that's true, that you actually drank someone's urine when you were drunk? No, no, no. I never got that out of hand, but I really... Good.

I never got that drunk. I mean, I blacked out a lot, which is horrible. You don't know what happened? No, because a fan of ours told me he's seen super twink i'm like oh no super twink what that movie you did with sal and richard right yeah he's seen it i'm like he said i never knew you were in that i said so did a lot of other people yeah that wasn't a big uh box office smash no it's like that that was like neck and neck with Howl at the Dock. So you thought it was like a Spielberg-anticipated film,

but it didn't do well. It was fun. When we made it, I thought- I remember you being in a lot of makeup and stuff. I was a bartender, and I had a Nazi hat on. It was crazy. But the thing is, right, in my own head i thought wow people gonna be all over us after this that you thought that that would make your career i thought you know i thought like would be having like dinner with jack black after that

uh well guess again no that didn't happen yeah but the thing is you know how active this business is both you guys do because especially now with the internet and things around there i actually get on tiktok it's fun how's it how you do how's your presence on tiktok i gave in i got like almost six i put up like five videos The top one has like almost 600 each. What are you talking about? And the other one's like 100 and something. What, your videos?

Yeah. Well, that's good. Yeah, but it takes a while to get in because you got to remember one thing. It takes a while to build a presence on any of these things. Yeah, sure, it does. You got to be there. You got to be loyal to it. You got to build a presence on any of these things. Yeah, sure it does. You got to be there. You got to be loyal to it. You got to really work on it.

Yeah, but it's a good way to get out there because I'll be honest with you. Thanks to you and stuff, we do have a young fan base. I know you don't believe me, but we do. I don't believe you. I've had people in their early 20s who are like, we love you in audio. We watch you. We do have a young fan base.

You should get on TikTok. Yeah, I guess so. Mike's doing cameos. Yeah, I'm coming to the cameo. You're still doing those cameos? I've been starting to do it again. Yeah, it's been good. But I will not curse people out and be ridiculous on that.

So you have rules about what you'll do? Yeah. you know it's not i'm not racist i'm not car i just seen my screen this is horrible hold on how'd you see yes now that's a little better oh no it's not the exact same problem you had but on the other side now it's better yeah now you got it sorry why does it keep falling down like that I don't know you know what I feel like you gotta secure it Zoom is like going back to like the silent movie days it's a new medium like that

well no it's not it's not new it's been around a little while the thing is but it really is, it really originally was the corporate people would come to these calls and meetings. That's what it really was. I wish we could have watched Stock and Zoom when it came out. Yeah, that would be nice.

It was probably dirt cheap when it came out, I'm sure. Well, why don't you still do it? Maybe it'll skyrocket like Google and Apple and stuff like that no but you we should have got it when it first came out

it was probably not that expensive but now you'd probably be you'd probably be making a shitload of money if you bought enough sheds yeah that's true but people don't think

about that though they're like you know a lot of people we you know like it did I'm telling you, but the thing is

at the same time, you could buy it and this could go in the toilet too after a while. Yeah, we got to know when to sell. Yeah, but the thing is with this, it's good for doing stuff like this, but I don't think, unless they really regulate it, you

could ever shoot TV shows and movies on this. No, I don't think so either. No, you can you say you don't be able to regulate it one day they said that about cable a lot when it came out like i remember seeing the internet back in the late 90s right a friend of mine frank was like i said no this is going to be gigantic one day you know billions of dollars people are going to say nobody said to me goes no it's just a fad like community television it's not going to get anywhere really he was a real visionary he was when i first seen the internet right it's like in 99 i've seen stuff they're doing in new orleans i'm like this is mind-blowing people over the world can see this now right and i'm like it's going to get even bigger one day my friend was like no it's just it's going to get even bigger one day. My friend was like, no, it's just, it's going to be gone like the moon bringing rock.

So this was you and who was your friend? What was his name? Oh, he's a comic. You probably know him. He's a good guy. You know, Frank Hudak. Frank Hudak. And he's the guy who said it wouldn't be anything.

Yeah. He said it wouldn't be more than community television. About cable TV. He said that. No, about the internet. Oh, about the internet oh about the internet yeah yeah he was how could it not be you could send an email to somebody in china in in 10 seconds how could it not be gigantic yeah well you didn't know that back

then though no but the thing is you i've seen a bit of it but the thing is originally i mean the internet's been around for a long time. The military had it for years before we even got our hands on it. You think so? Yeah, they definitely did, because they had stuff like this going on. I mean, that's not even a lot of information on people, because the military definitely had it for decades. They never said anything about it. Then they just released it, I'm sure. But the government figured they could make money off it.

That's when it got released. Well, this Mike Buscetti moment in history brought to you by... It's true. Why do you think the government hated Al Capone? You know why? Because they couldn't grab any money off him when he was making. That's why.

Yeah, you always got to pay your cut. No, they couldn't grab him for money. You know what? I mean, okay, but he did other people. It wasn't good. It wasn't right or cool. But our government did even worse stuff to people in other countries than he'll ever do. Yeah, I know that about you.

You're one of those rare Al Capone supporters. Well, I'm not lying about it. No, well, yeah, but you're kind of justifying everything else he did for... I'm not justifying. I mean, what he did was wrong. He knew what he did was wrong. But the thing is, you know, our government went after him. But the thing is, they weren't any better than him.

But think about it at the end of the day. They complained about a lot of the past presidents, a couple less few. There have been psychos in that White House since Washington went into office. I mean, come on. The only thing is, they didn't have the internet to call them out. Interesting. Interesting points.

I do feel the need to fact check Mike Buscetti a little bit. Yeah. A couple things we should note. Zoom stock is at a 52-week low right now. Oh, wow. There you go. And cable TV came out of New York City in 1962. Yeah.

In Manhattan, but not Staten Island. Staten Island is New York City, Mike. Yeah, but no, it is, but it's forgotten for sure. That's what you say. I'm telling you, you could have got cable earlier. I don't

like to argue or fight with you guys. I'm probably the one having a stroke and falling to the table. No, don't do that. Don't do that. Well, if that did happen, do me a promise for your favor, right? What? Call up Dice, have him do a Yule drink. For you?

Yeah. Heckle people, Art. You can co-share the yules, you win them. Why? You're not going to die. Who knows when? No, you'll be all right. You'll be around 100 years, believe me.

I don't know about that one. But you know what? I don't care, though. I'm just having a good time in life. Yeah, you are. You're just rolling through life like the breeze, man. Artie Lang's Halfway House premieres free every Monday. Yeah, you are. You're just rolling through life like the breeze, man. Artie Lang's Halfway House premieres free every Monday,

but on Thursday you get an exclusive episode and access to over 400 Artie Quitter podcast archives by joining on Patreon, the Comics Gym, or YouTube by clicking the Join button at the top of the Artie Lang page. You also get access to the 800 number to be able to leave a voicemail for Artie, and we've got one here. Marvin, would you play this week's voicemail? Hey, Artie. Welcome back. Good to hear from you. Love the podcast.

Just wanted to submit a question. What was your most favorite project or podcast TV show after the Stern show? Was it the Nick DiPaolo show, the Artie Quitter podcast, the podcast with you and Anthony? Yeah, just wondering. Thanks. Anything with Nick is fun to do, man. The Nick and Artie show was great. And it was fun to do while it lasted.

So I'd have to say the one with Nick, Nick and Artie. And Anthony was fun too, but I have a special liking for Nick. And it was fun to work with him. Get more confidence in the bedroom. Blue Chew's tablets offer the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis, but in a chewable form. If you don't like swallowing pills, this is for you. It works fast. Take it day or night.

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How are you, sir? Hey, Joe. It's podcast royalty is what Joe is. How you doing, man? Good. How are you, Artie? I'm hanging in there, brother, hanging in there. I'm doing all right. How's mom doing?

She's doing good. She's doing good. Yeah, thanks for asking. Yeah, so, yeah, I mentioned podcasting is something you seem to have a knack for. People come to me all the time. I can't tell you, Joe, how much people come to me and say, you remind me of Joey Diaz. You remind me of Joey Diaz. And I take that as a compliment. Is this something you just got into as a fluke?

Or what made you start doing podcasting? It was a fluke. And I was ready to quit comedy in 2009. Right. And then the podcast world started. and I got into the podcasting, and I enjoyed it. Right. It's great to interview people. It's great just to rap, and it's great to open up to people who follow you.

Yeah. They want to know that you have a family, what events you do, what kind of hobbies you have. You have to open up. And that's something you seem to be good at, too, is storytelling. Yeah. You know, Artie, before the podcast, when the podcasting first became popular, I got to be honest with you. Broadcasting first became popular. I got to be honest with you.

I actually, when you were on Stern, I thought that was the greatest radio I ever heard. Oh, thanks, man. And I always told myself, if I ever get on the radio, that that's the style I'm going to use. Honesty, no holding anything back, you know. No holding anything back, you know. So when I had the opportunity years later, I mean, I copied you to the T except for wearing sunglasses. You know, like I was thinking about wearing sunglasses, but then I said, somebody will say that I'm stealing from Artie. But I watched those Howard Stern episodes of you coming in at four in the morning from Harlem and stuff. And I really enjoyed that. Yeah.

So I copied your radio style into a podcast format. And it worked. And it worked. It worked great. Yeah, people love honesty, man. They do. It's like, look at the best comics of all time. You know, now I'm not putting my name up there, that's for sure.

But I'm just saying, you know, honesty like Richard Pryor and stuff like that. People could be balls to the wall, dead honest. That's what people look for. And I know they get it from you. What would you talk about the most? What subject matter would you find you talked about the most trying to do that? Drug use. Drug use, yeah.

My criminal past past you know yeah people want to hear that because it makes them connect with you you know when people watch us on tv they we seem so far away right but when we we have a fungi toenail they go i got a fungi toenail i relate yeah that's a winner you want that that audience the fungi toenail. I relate. Yeah, that's a winner. You want that audience, the fungi toenail audience. It's a big one. You want to be relatable. And that's what you did on Stern.

You turned it into an everyday type of situation. Right. And it was hysterical. It really was, no matter what was going on. You were having a great time doing it. You didn't even know you were doing it, creating the greatest radio show in history. So it was like the Sopranos.

They came and all of a sudden Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones and all these shows came out. Right. In my world, you kicked down the door. I just took your lead. So I want to thank you on air and in public for teaching me without even knowing. Well, thanks, Joe. I take that to be a big deal because if that's the case, I'm proud of you because you did run with it and you got you carved out your own thing, too.

You know, you're a North Bergen guy, right? Yes, sir. Some of the most fascinating people come from North Bergen, New Jersey. I'm telling you, that's like Jersey's Brooklyn. The people come from North Bergen. They're probably an interesting guy. What is your past, Joe?

What'd your parents do? What was going on there? My parents are bar owners in Union City, New Jersey. Right, sure. They both passed when I was three and my mom when I was 16. bar owners in Union city, New Jersey. Right. Sure. And, uh, they both passed, you know, when I was three and my mom, when I was 16. Oh, wow. And then, you know, I mean,

we have a lot of similar paths with, uh, issues like, you know, I love my halfway house stories, how I used to put, I used to put, you know, like pool cleaner on my dick and be in a bottle i'm uncircumcised so i would put the pool cleaner around my dick and then pull the skin around it and i would put my dick in the bottle pull the skin back and the pool cleaner would go in the piss and i would jam the test up so they hated me already. They would come to my house. I never heard of that. Listen, they came to my house ten times already.

I never opened the door. They'd call the sheriff to knock on my door. I would never. I never opened that door. They would sit out there for two hours. Then I'd watch them leave. Then I'd come out. That's hilarious.

Well, I'll tell you what. You did break down when I opened. That's for sure. That's hilarious. Well, I'll tell you what, you did break down when I opened, that's for sure. That's insane. So how often did you have to piss test? They were pissing me twice a week. I was like, the color purple, and you got to call, and they tell you what colors. Right. And then it was 6 o'clock to come in and pee in a bottle, and they watch you.

So they had a dude that used to watch me yeah and i broke the machine so many times that they put a girl on me and they put mirrors around oh wow and they could not figure out how i was zapping these tests they did not know where did you figure that out pool cleaner would help where did that come into the game the mind of an addict the mind of an addict right how do i feed this you know i feel like to get high on friday and you gotta piss on monday you're not gonna beat it i don't care how much cerdo no you're not much berry juice white vinegar i used to drink a whole bottle of white vinegar. Wow. And what were you trying to kill? What was your main drug?

Cocaine. And would that work? Would that kill coke or no? Nothing worked. Nothing worked. It makes sense. This is 88, 89, you know, so the test in 90. So the test was still very sensitive,

but nothing beat it. Nothing. Yeah. All stories, nothing worked. That's how desperate you get, though, buddy. That's like, you know, are those days like fond memories for you when you think about it? Because it's so funny. Like, how much of it did you think you really enjoyed?

You know, it was fun for the time. You know, I was young. I time. You know, I was young. I was 27, 28. I didn't know any better. Right. I remember one of the guys in the halfway house used his girlfriend's piss. Right. And he came back pregnant.

They threw him right in jail because he came back and didn't know what was going on. I got good news and bad news. The good news is you're going to be a dad. There was another guy in the halfway house with me that would put a hot water bottle under his shirt. Yeah, right. He would buy the whole thing with the tube scotch tape to his dick. The Wizinator. And one day, the fucking bottle blew up under his arm.

While he was doing the chicken wing to get it going, the thing blew up all over arm. While he was like doing a chicken wing to get it going. Yeah. The thing blew up all over him. Oh my God. Did you ever hear this thing called a bowl scoop? No. That's when you went to, uh,

to give a piss test and you go to a urinal and you would see other urine left in the urinal. And you would try to scoop that up and put it in the, in the, that, that to me has to be the least effective. But I asked the guy who told me that I go, how do you get to do that?

He goes, we got to practice. I'm like, where the fuck do you practice that? Like if I ever wake up one day and on my to do list for the day, it says practice bowl scooping. I might as well go to jail. You might as well.

Yeah. Bowl scooping. So you come out of North Bergen and you're going to be a stand-up. Stand-up is where you started, right? Yeah, but I wasn't even thinking about stand-up at that time. I was thinking about doing drugs. Right, right. I wasn't thinking

of doing stand-up or nothing. Stand-up didn't come into my life after I came out of prison. Okay, so how long did you do in prison? About 18 months. Right. And where were you? Colorado.

Oh, they send you to Colorado. I got in trouble in Colorado. Right. Would you move there or something? Yeah. I moved there to go to school and I ended up kidnapping a dude on a drug. I put him in the trunk of a car with a machine gun.

So they tried to kidnap an aggravated robbery. It sounds like you got over easy. Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. Because a gun, just a gun alone, my God. And so you do 18 months of that in Colorado. And then what do you do? You go to California. They called me the halfway house in Boulder.

Right. There for another year. And then I got out. And then I started stand up in 91. I stayed in Boulder till 95. Then I went up to Seattle till 97. And then I ended up in Los Angeles in 97 on a deal from CBS. Wow.

So, I mean, you talk about turning your life around and not that long of a time. I mean, that's like, you know, that's impressive, man. I'm going to tell you right now, that's real impressive because you think when you're running that hard, you're at least like setting yourself back 10 years for every 18 months in prison. You got to come out, you got to start something. It's hard to come out of these situations. Like, yeah, I know rehab and I've done jail time.

But when you come out, everything's still the same. There's still the addiction still there sometimes and you got to work on getting rid of it. So like, have you been clean for how long? Since 2007. Since 2007. So how long is that after you got out of jail, you start getting clean? I got out of jail in 89, and I didn't start getting clean until 2007.

Wow. So you came out of jail, and it was right back to ripping and running. Right back to ripping, running, and then stand up. Yeah. And you were smart enough to do it. Not going to L.A., was that a calculated move?

Because it's actually very smart to do it in the smaller cities first. No, I never thought I would be good enough to be in L.A. I had the felonies, the low self-esteem, so I'm like, I'm never going to go to L.A.

For what? Right. I'm just going to stay on the low self-esteem. So I'm like, I'm never going to go to L.A. For what? Right. I'm just going to stay on the road, do these runs. I was just content doing bars and stuff. I didn't have the makings for a star or nothing. Right. And then I read about Tim Allen. Right, yeah.

And that's when I was like, okay, there may be a spot for me on the table, but not really. Yeah, well, Tim Allen, you were quite different in a lot of ways. I think you're way more entertaining. But he got arrested for, I think, dealing cocaine, right? Yeah. So it's still a felony, no matter how you cut it. I thought that they would look at you weird. Right.

It's a felony in this circle, you know? So that's the only life I had. That's the only shot I had of living a normal life was doing stand-up. You can't get a job with a felony. Yeah, now think about that. And stand-up's the one place where it's actually rewarded if you do it right. If you're entertaining, tell them a story, you can make it in stand-up. If the stories are as unique as yours are.

So, yeah, it took me a while to get clean. And that's when I really got the rewards of the career. Once I got clean and was focused, I got clean for my wife. I didn't want her to find me on the floor the way I found my mother on the floor. Finding somebody on the floor is not a great fucking thing for your life. Was your mother a drug user? Alki. Functioning, you know, open up the morning with a Heineken and a tomato juice. Wow.

Go to a, go to a mech game, you know, get hammered and then go to a bar and work. Go to a Mets game you know get hammered and then go to a bar and work go to a Mets game yeah she would love the Mets that's hilarious that you love

the Mets Cuban you know she threw chicken wings at Rusty Stobbs she would go to the game

just to destroy Rusty because he dropped the ball once and she lost the bet so you want to talk about once and she lost a bet. So you want to talk about degenerates.

She was a real Cuban degenerate gambler. Baseball. No kidding. And horses. She would go to the track? Every day. Meadowlands, Roosevelt, the one-up and then fucking OTB.

When you go to OTB, you got a problem. Yeah, and OTB is where some real rubber hits the road, as far as problems are concerned. I don't know why we haven't done a reality show from OTB, Artie. No, I know. Live from OTB. Yeah, just let it rip. OTB on like a Thursday afternoon at 2. I used to love the OTB and the Port Authority in Washington Heights.

I would go up there to cop and then go back and get the bus to Jersey, but I'd go to OTV first. Get back on the bus with attitude. Get into a fist fight. Yeah, you got to get into a fist fight at OTV. If not, it's not going to work out for you. It doesn't take much to get into a fistfight at OTV. If not, it's not gonna work out for you. And it doesn't take much to get into a fistfight at OTV because you're talking about

guys who are serious about their gambling. Did you ever have a guy piss you off so much over like a small bet when you had a large bet on something? All the time. In fact, I was at Jimmy's house on Sunday and there's a kid that goes over there and he cheers against Miami.

He's talking about Jim Florentine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Florentine's a Miami guy, yeah. Yeah, and I tell the kid, I said, let me tell you something. You're lucky this ain't Jersey 40 years ago. We would have fucking burned you at the stake. That's true. Somebody's, I go to your house, how am I going to cheer against the Giants when you bet the Giants?

You know, Rams, I'll fucking kill you, cocksucker. Yeah, I don't want to hear anything about the Rams. Not go Rams. Not Rams are my heart. I don't want to hear any of that bullshit. No, people take gambling nonchalant. It's the nonchalant people that make it the worst. Like, when you're at the craps table and, you know, you're betting the don't pass,

meaning you're betting against the roller. That was a system Norm McDonald had, rest in peace. Norm had a... Yeah, yeah, I miss him, too. Did you know Norm at all? Yes. Yeah. Just, we used to have these crazy,

he had this crazy system where he would bet the don't pass line in craps. And if you lost, no, if you won, you just kept doubling it. And for some reason it worked for him like one time. But then Norm was great. I'd say to him, we'd separate in the casino and I'd say to him, what are you doing? And he goes, I'm working my system over at the craps table. I go, how's it going? It's going great. I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm working my system over at the craps table. I go, how's it going? He goes, it's going great.

I go, what's the deal? He goes, I'm down 30 grand. And I guess the system didn't work at times. Joey, you referenced Jim Florentine, who, of course, lives in Jersey, already is here in Jersey. You were in Los Angeles for years and are now back in New Jersey. Tell us what it was like or how difficult or easy a decision it may have been to leave LA and what it's like to be back home. I got to be honest with you. I left LA after I shot the Soprano movie. Yeah. Because it made me so homesick. Really? And I knew it was time to come home.

He's talking about the Many Saints of Newark movie. Yeah. No, I was going to say, I was going to get to that with the fact that you're in that. That's amazing. What's the title of it? The Many Saints of Newark. The Many Saints of Newark. And they shot a lot of it in LA? No, in New York and New Jersey. Oh, okay. So you were living in LA.A. and you came to do the movie here and you got homesick. Oh, my God.

As soon as I got here, I was like, I got to come back. Really? No kidding. And I would come twice a year. You know, you come twice a year. You do the Stress Factory. You do Gotham or a theater, Town Hall. And it didn't really hit me as hard

because I'm only here for three days. But when I came for the 10 days and I was taking that ferry and I was eating with my buddies at night. You know, I love that fried calamari. I love that. I love that stuff. And I had been burnt out in L.A. from like 2016. I didn't like it anymore.

Plus, I got a daughter. I wanted to grow up here. Yeah. How old is your daughter? Eight. Oh, yeah. It daughter. I wanted her to grow up here. Yeah. How old is your daughter? Eight. Oh, yeah. That's a good age to come back. Absolutely.

Yeah. So she's got friends and softball and kickboxing. She adjusted better than I did. So you're busy. Do you ever see yourself living the life you're living? Like, think back to those days. No. No, I never thought I'd be in this position. I'm not even

doing stand-up. You just love the podcast too much. I'm doing the podcast, and I'm just being a dad, Artie. Yeah. Well, that's good. Good for you, man, because you got a story that ends bad for a lot of people, but you should be proud of yourself that you turned that around,

man, sitting in a prison cell in Colorado to talking about the life you're leading now. Good for turned that around, man, sitting in a prison cell in Colorado to, uh, to talking about the life you're leading now. Good for you, man. Absolutely. Joe. 20 years on that shit. 30 years doing that powder. Wasting time. Wasting time. Wasting time. You know, that's nevermind the podcast.

Nevermind my daughter. Nevermind my wife, never mind the comedy career, just the fact that I got off that powder. I got to thank God every day if there is a God. I don't even know what's out there anymore. Higher power. But I have to thank somebody. And then I lost a daughter, you know, in the marriage.

And all of a sudden, I spit out another daughter at the age of 50. Right. So I have to give something back to who's ever up there. I don't know who it is or who makes things possible. But that's where I'm at, you know. And I'm loving it. Yeah.

Yeah, you can tell you're in a good place, you know. The Sopranos movie. Now, what do you play in that? I play a guy in Johnny Soprano's crew, Buddha. Played by John Bernthal. Played by who? John Bernthal, the Punisher.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Good guy. And, uh, how long did you have to work on the film for? I think I did about 12 days, 13 days. Who directed it? Did David Chase direct it? Alan King.

Alan King. Alan Taylor. Alan Taylor. He did a couple of Soprano episodes. I love that you said Alan King. Yeah, I get it right now. Yeah, so that's great, Joe. Did you audition for it or did they come to you?

Yes. No, I put it on tape and I didn't think I would ever hear from them again. Because it was an audition on tape, I didn't have a chance to go in there and talk to them and shake hands and stuff. So I was like, I'm not going to see these people again. They called. How many times did you audition for acting stuff? Is this a rare thing, I would assume? No, I audition a lot.

Oh, you do? Okay. Yeah, I audition a lot. You know, whenever I can. If they have something for me that I'm interested in, I'll work. You know, my drugs got so out of control that I missed a lot of work. And, uh, one, one gig, I know that, uh, I missed it. They said they were going to go to you after I, after I tanked out was a Mark

Marin show. Right. Uh, I, they had written me in and I was going to play myself and, uh, I couldn't make it because the lifestyle I was leading. And I, you know, I love Mark. He and I was going to play myself and I couldn't make it because of the lifestyle I was leading. And I, you know, I love Mark. He was always so nice to me. And he said, well, you know, I called Joey Diaz and he's able to do it.

I'm like, all right, well, at least it's in good hands, I guess. Yeah. We had a good time. Yeah. But that's how often your name would come up with mine. Like, you know, I would hear it a lot. No, I mean, like I said, I looked at you, I studied you early on. And I didn't get to meet you for years. It was, you know,

I was a big fan and, uh, we crossed paths one night and I went to watch you, uh, with Levy and all those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was always a big fan of yours. And I love what you did on the radio. You changed radio. You were the David Chase of radio. You changed radio.

People who didn't fly with that afterward, they're not around anymore. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Well, I mean, I don't know if you're... I think you gave me a little too much credit, but there's definitely been a revolution, right? And podcasting especially. You're a Joe Rogan guy too, right?

Yeah, with dear friends. Yeah, Joe's a good guy. Joe's always been good to me. Yeah, he thinks the world of you. I told him I was coming. He was really happy. What, uh... Yeah, I thinks the world of you. I told him I was coming. He was really happy. What, uh, yeah, I think Joe's in town, right? He's at MSG. Oh, okay.

How about that? How about that? I mean, you know, hardworking guy and just doing amazing with this podcasting stuff, you know. It's something to be said about it. I did his show a couple of times, and it's the best interview I've ever given. He brings it out of you, you know?

He really does. And the better he knows you, the better it is. Yeah. It's great. You know, I sat on planes with him for years, so we talked. You know, we just went to the heart of the matter. You know, I'm a druggie. He's an athlete.

I'm a criminal. He's a nice guy. But the one thing we had in common, I give him big respect for and he respects me for it, was our love and our dedication to comedy. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like we held it. It was very serious to us. And that's where we're the same. It was very serious. I liked writing. When I went up there, I didn't like fucking around.

If you pay $30 for a ticket, I want to give you $30. I want to give you $40. Right. So you come back and you love comedy and you support other comics. That was always our plan. Just support other comics. Push the younger ones up.

You know, that's what you do as an older comic. So, and as a comic, you have to, the more you give to other comics, the bigger your career will be. Yeah, I agree with you. I try to do the same thing, you know. But, you know, Joe's someone who doesn't do something half-assed. There's no question about it. He goes full throttle with it.

And you seem to be a guy who does that too. You have to. When you're playing for keeps already, we have to. Right. This is for keeps. Absolutely. We're Jersey motherfuckers. We're playing for keeps.

I'm not playing for fucking. I want to go to your festival. I don't want to go to a festival. I want my money. Your festival. I want my money. I want my festival. Well, you get to hang with this guy. I don't want to go to a festival. I want my money. Your festival? Well, you get to hang with this guy.

I don't give a fuck about him. I got to pay bills. I'm not doing this to fucking jump up and down and, you know, pay bills and shit. Yeah, you know, you go to these festivals and you see a lot of kids who are amateurs with the partying. It makes you wonder. Yeah, you know, they don't know

the same way we didn't know. Yeah, that's it. We didn't know. We're two young guys that we don't, you know, it's like now with the rockers, you know, me and Jimmy Florentine were laughing the other day about, you know, rockers that the audience

has to be vaccinated. Then why did you become a rocker for? All the cocaine you put into your drugs into your veins now you want to fucking they want them to be vaccinated yeah you know whatever happened to and this is why like i couldn't go out anymore lately because when you do this you got to put everything you got into this right people didn't know what how much work goes behind this i got knee surgery i'm not walking right you know know, cause of my knee. I mean, I'm, I'm fine now, but I still can't do a four 40. You know,

if somebody chases me with a gun or shoots, right. World is fucked up today. You don't know what's going to happen. Absolutely. Absolutely. No, you know, when, when you're running around like some of the people that you meet, just, you know, like you say, you talk about Washington Heights and scoring there. That's something I know about. You're right. You never know what the fuck is going to happen, man.

You just never know. You got to thank God you're still here. That's the first thing. Every morning, Artie, I get up. I thank God for giving me another day. My daughter is going to school. I'm happy I'm in Jersey. I'm really happy I'm in Jersey.

I'm in South Jersey. Artie, the food down here is to fucking die for. Yeah, no kidding. South Jersey does it right. Yeah. These Staten Island motherfuckers moved here and they brought everything like the pilgrims did. That's right. They were bringing the sausage and peppers.

Oh, my God. I went to the San Gennaro Feast in Manalapan last week, and the sausage and peppers were on fire in there. They were so good. They have one in Manalapan now, huh? Yeah, and the pizza down here is just, you know, everybody has to make good pizza. Yeah, you can't get away with a shitty product.

That's the thing about Jersey. Chinese is tremendous. I'm in heaven. I got a Chinese right down the corner from me. That's my shit. You can do an eight ball and a couple of wonton soup in your back, Jack. Yeah, man. Well, I'm happy for you, Joe.

I'm really happy for you. I'm happy you're doing this again and you're back out there. People miss you already. They need you. So. Thanks, man. Well, let's get the pieces together and get back out there and fucking kill these motherfuckers in New Jersey. Absolutely. Joey, thank you so much for making the time just for the three people on Earth who don't know, where can they find your podcast? Where can they listen to you on the regular? YouTube. The joint is on YouTube, Instagram, you know, all the platforms and I'm on Twitter, Instagram, joeydears.net, the whole thing. This is great radio, Joey. Thank you so much. All right, Joe.

Thank you very much. All righte listen very much already take care of yourself god bless you and your family say hello to mom for me you too god bless brother and keep up the good work and thanks for the kind words the kind words from you mean a lot and i appreciate it anytime all right take care thank you have a good day guys you too the great jo Joey Diaz. Wow. Love you. Interesting guy, man. Catch every Monday episode for free of Artie Lang's halfway house. And of course, thank you for joining on Patreon YouTube or the comics gym to get this exclusive content every Thursday,

please share this with your friends and let's keep the show growing. We'll be right back. Thank you.