Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 41 - BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

Artie hangs out with the one and only Bubba the Love Sponge and Mike Bocchetti joins. Support Artie by joining at Patreon.com/ArtieLange or by clicking the JOIN button on his YouTube page. You'll get access to the exclusive Thursday episodes and nearly 400 Artie Quitter podcast episodes. Patreon supporters at the "Artie Insider" level will get access to Artie's voicemail line to leave a message to be addressed on a future show. #Bubbathelovesponge  #artielange To join this channel on YouTube to get access to an extra episode every week and the archives visit: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCejSpn_F5eXMhVfbTXgC4JQ/join

we're back with arnie lang's halfway house mike borchetti is joining us now hendrix you like hendrix huh there'll never be another one there were two guitarists that I think nobody ever matched Jimmy and Dimebag Darrell yeah both dead both died early death I had a shot of Rumpelmans I believe it was no Jaeger I had a shot of Jaeger with Dimebag Darrell

three days before you got killed and it is weird when you see when you get to know I got to know Farley a little bit. When you look up on the news and you see those two dates, 65 to 97 or whatever, it was rough. But you don't care. You're just selfish, right?

Yeah, but the thing about Christians, right, he's so unique, there'll never be another Farley. No, absolutely not. And that's the role you're trying to take over now, aren't you? Another Belushi. Well, that's true. Well, what about Jim Belushi? He's technically another Belushi.

To be fair to John, to be fair to Jim, I mean, you know, it's hard to feel John Schurz to begin with. Literally. I think he was like a size five with a width of 18 feet. Now, Jim is good at what he does, but he's not John. Now you're on a first name basis with both of them?

But you know what's really cool? Something other than this interview? When Kevin Foley came on, he was awesome. He looked just like Chris. Chris Foley's brother Kevin, brother, Kevin. He does. He absolutely does. He has another brother, John, who's real thin and doesn't look like him.

He looks like him, but he's thin, thin version of him. You know, Kevin looked exactly like Chris. Now, Mike, to lose weight, do you consider smoking crystal meth just for like a month? No, I started working out like you said. No, it's not going to work like crystal meth, bro. In a paint. The weight just drops off of you.

You also have psychotic episodes probably. Sure, bring that up. Should bring up the one negative about it. You make me sick. Get off the sand. No. So now what's your opinion on the current movie landscape?

Did you see Harry Potter movie? I don't, you know, I like sci-fi stuff. I'm more along the lines of like, you know, I don't like Star Trek, none of that stuff,

but I liked, what do you call it? Roger, the Twilight Zone kind of stuff. Yeah. Well, I got some Well I got I got an inner

Secret from show business Don't tell anybody They're going to come out with a superhero movie this year Oh really? Yeah, why should this year be any different? Who's your favorite superhero? Oh you know who I should have been cast as? Ben from Fantastic Four.

No. Would you play one of the Fantastic Four? I would love to play Ben. Who's that? The guy who was made of rock. There was a guy made of rock and you wanted to be him? You're a little too flabby for that, Mike. No, but Ben looked like he had a rock face.

He was like big. He was awesome. He had a rock face? What does that look like? I assume there was no makeup needed. No, but he... No, I mean, that would have been cool as hell. So you've done a lot of big stuff.

Like you're in The Family, right? With Robert De Niro. You ever seen with De Niro? Now your lines were completely cut and it's just you staring there, right? Well, what happened was, I know I told you a couple of times, I was in callbacks with two characters. One, there was a mafia guy who was coming to kill De Niro in Italy. Right. That was part of the hit squad. And the other was our friend Jimmy Palumbo got cast as the FBI agent

Gordon De Niro. Yeah, Jimmy's great. He killed it. He was awesome because, like I said, you know, he just was, he was totally right for it. Who, I'm going to say Who Who do you pick Out as a standing Actor this year

Like a young buck Like Brad Pitt was in 93 Who are you following? I don't really know that many people now Which I should And you've cleaned up your act completely? Yeah No drinking?

It'll be 25 years in March. For sex? Yeah, well, maybe that's a little longer than drinking. Wait, so you haven't had a drink in 25 years? St. Patrick's Day, 2022, yeah. Don't you find that when you drink more, an uglier woman looks more attractive? No, I never cared because I just like women in general. It's all a matter of me.

You'll just say anything at this point. No, but I just didn't like that I became Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. Well, on booze, you mean. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, a lot of people do. I do. I know I became like Instant asshole Just added alcohol

Jack Daniels did it to me Yeah JD That was my drink for a while I loved it Did you drink it Because Sinatra drank it Yeah but I liked the Choco

Choco paste Now you're doing a commercial for it I love Oh that would be fun I love the choco paste You know I know you interview for a lot of commercials. Don't you know that you got to get rid of that accent

a little bit to get a lot of shit? It's weird, but I got to because it's funny you mention that because I did a Sonic commercial back in 1996, right? That was very regional, like in the Midwest and the South. A Sonic burger?

Sonic Burger. Before they got popular here. Right. In 96. It was on TV regionally, like across the Midwest and the South, for like two years. Right? But the thing is, you know what they did?

They called me and they said, you're going to get paid for this, but they thought your New York action was too heavy doing for people in Indiana. No kidding. Oh, so that's why, that's why you didn't get picked up. Yeah, but I got paid though. That's the important thing. How much you got for something like that?

Just auditioning, you got paid? No, no, I got cash. They did a voiceover because they said I was too New York. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. Now, what else? Now, would you consider David Chase a dear, dear friend?

David Chase? Yeah. I never met him, but I loved what he created. You make it sound like you know him. No, I never met him. I don't even know what he looks like. There's a fine line Between being a fan

And being you know You know what I'm saying A womanizer Well I like David Chase But I also love Vince Gilligan They created The X-Files

And Breaking Bad Vince Gilligan What did he Make up He created The X-Files And Breaking Bad Oh Okay He's loaded Yeah but you know What happened with him What did he make up? He created the X-Files and Breaking Bad.

Oh, okay. He's loaded. Yeah, but you know what happened with him, which is really crazy? When he pitched Breaking Bad in California, you know what they told him? They told him, no, no, we already have some show like this called Weeds. Oh, Weeds. Yeah, yeah. Which was nothing like Breaking Bad.

Weeds was tame. And they kept giving him a hard time, and he just stood with it, and he just stood by it, and he pitched it, and the right people grabbed it. The world of weed is way different than the world of meth, I could tell you. Of course. Yeah, it's a lot darker side of it. No, you're right, because in the world of weed, you deal with hippies. In the world of meth, you deal with all kinds of psycho gangs and all kinds of maniacs.

Yeah, if you say you're on crystal meth and you're already a maniac, man, honestly, I cannot worry about what's coming. Well, Mike, it's been great talking to you again. Thank you, Artie. You got that blue screen fixed in the back? It looks like it is, but I got headphones. Look, these are Beats, baby. Yeah, I was going to say, so how'd you learn how to use the headphones? I just had them in my drawer for a while, a couple of years.

And then you just have to pick the right slot to plug it in, right? See, look, these are horrible. We're getting a lot of emails in right now that it's better with your mute on. Oh, thanks. This one says they hate

Jimmy Iannuzzi for Jimmy Iannuzzi. Who's the guy that's at partners with Dr. Dre? I don't really know. Well, he helped bring he split a billion dollars with Dr. Dre. I forget his name. All right, Mike. Well, listen, I I love you guys Anything you want to plug?

You can definitely see me on Cameo TikTok Instagram, I'm back on Twitter And just follow me on Facebook as well Well you were banned on Twitter, right? Yeah, I came back to have a new account Actually, Bob Levy helped me get I got like, I went from

Zero to 500 people in a day. You realize that's insanely poor though. No, I had, I had like 12,000. I can't believe there's more people doing, I can't believe you're an entertaining guy. I can't believe there's not more people, you know, latching onto you, but you'll get there, buddy. I will. Thank you, Artie. But I will talk to you next week.

And everybody, can I say your famous line? Take care, brush your hair. Yeah, well, that's not my line, but yeah, thank you. I thought it was. Just like you, I borrowed it from somebody. Oh, no. Take care, brush your hair. All right, my guys.

I'll see you later. Take care, Artie. Bye-bye. See you later. Bye, Tom. Love you. Bye, guys. Guys, if you're using Viagra you later. Bye, Tom. Love you. Bye, guys. Guys, if you're using Viagra or Cialis, stop.

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for sponsoring the podcast. Hey everyone, if you want to get a second episode of Artie Lang's Health Warehouse every Thursday and get access to this Ask Artie voicemail line, make sure to go to patreon.com slash Artie Lang to join. And just for a few bucks a month, you can support the show and you'll also get access to nearly 400 Artie Quitter podcasts, archived episodes, along with the new exclusive Thursday show. That's right, Thursday show.

That's patreon.com slash Artie Lang or hit the join button on Artie's YouTube page. Hey, what's going on? Welcome to Artie Lang's Halfway House. And my guest in the Halfway House today is a classic, a radio classic, one of the best radio nicknames of all time. And just a good guy, a guy I got to know doing the Stern Show at Sirius and just a good man. Bubba the Love Sponge. What's up, Bubba? Artie, one, thank you so much for having me, but two, it's just so good to hear your voice. I've been worried about you, word sick, and I just, I mean, just to hear your voice makes me smile, my friend.

Thanks. Yeah, you too. Likewise. I'm doing better. And, you know, I got this podcast going. How you doing, man? Hey, I'm, you know, I'm doing good. I kind of had to reinvent myself after, you know, I got caught up in some more shit. And, you know, the Hogan tape was some shit. I don't even know. I don't even know that I've talked to you since like since that shit went down i think i have no not at all i mean you know what the hell happened that yeah everything uh that was a weird time man put it that way well you know first of

all just having been down here you know tampa's the fucking wild west when it comes to fucking you know that yeah absolutely i mean i mean you know tamp, Tampa. Remember the one time, Artie, when we had the big-ass boat and I had the Akira stripper? No, the Akira porn star. Now, she wasn't even a porn star yet. She wasn't even a porn star, and all she wanted to do was to fuck you. And you're like, you wouldn't even do it. That was complicated. Well, yeah, it's hard telling what the fuck you were really going through.

But I'm just saying, here was a girl that ended up being the biggest porn star in the world, Akira, that wanted Artie more than anything, and Artie Flatt told her no. No, she was going with someone on your show, for Christ's sakes. Yeah, but we don't keep score like that. Fuck it, what's mine's yours, buddy. Come on. No, I didn't't keep score like that. Fuck it. What's mine? Shirt. Buddy, come on. I didn't get that attitude. Absolutely.

I think Spice Boy was a little more jealous. I'm all about just whatever. Spice Boy had her a little more locked up, I think. Yeah, absolutely. Spice Boy, you know, I actually mentioned it to him and he's like, that wouldn't be that great. You should have blew a call into me and I would have been like, like you said, the Westies

and I would have gotten shit done. Yeah. I always said that about, uh, about Bubba's show. Like we were the, we were the Gambino family and they were like the Westies, uh, this wild, wild gang that the Gambino's hired to do their hits for them. Yeah. Everybody knew who you were, but I had to go, I had to be the guy to put a bullet in the back of your fucking head and have a stripper squirt,

you know, well, you know, that was, that was some unbelievable times. I don't even know that we knew how special those times were when we were up in them. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, absolutely. Uh, they, they were, they were, it was, it was wild radio.

Uh, those first four or five years on the Stern show at Sirius Satellite, when you guys were down there kicking some ass yourself, it was crazy. Yeah, but I mean, I mean, you were living the life of a fucking rock star, too. I remember I'd be talking to you and you'd be like, yeah, I got like a double shot in Atlantic City for 250. And I got a fucking this and that i'm like what you're like yeah i'll do a buck 25 on a friday and then a buck 75 on a saturday fucking bitches and fucking i'll be like is that 125 000 you're like yeah fucking that's what they gotta pay me to come in here and you know do some shit yeah no it was it was it was absolutely nuts and uh you know to say to say the least i enjoyed coming down and saying hi to you guys all the time i remember atlantic city we're doing this bubble palooza stand-up bullshit you know just up there us doing some it's like a fucking sunny and share variety

hour compared to real stand-up comedian shit like you And for some reason you happen to be in Atlantic city and Brent comes to me and goes, Hey, Artie wants to know if he can go up and do a few minutes. I'm like, well, fuck yeah. I mean, yeah. So Artie, you got on one and you were on stage for like an hour and five minutes. And finally I had to come like Artie,

these motherfuckers want to see that or some bullshit. Can you get up? Yeah. it. Finally, I had to come like, Hardy, these motherfuckers want to see that or some bullshit. Can you get on? Yeah, the Bubba Palooza tour. I remember that. That was at you guys took over the backstage. It looked like a Stones concert backstage. We had alcohol and whores and just everything. We never

really big. We were never big on that. Well, Brent was big on the coke, but I was big on the whores, nonetheless. Boy, radio i'll tell you that much oh yeah i mean what do you expect this isn't some bullshit this is bubba and arty i've been trying to get a fucking hold of you arty since you got out i really have oh yeah well yeah i've uh my schedule got complicated when I got out of jail. Artie, how much does jail, like, were you in jail jail? Like, were you in jail jail? Yeah, yeah.

For real? Well, not prison, jail, real jail. Like, absolutely. Well, they say that the county jail is worse than the prison. Yeah, the county jail is where I was, and it was Essex County Jail, which is really one of the worst in the country. But I had, because of my status as somewhat of a personality that people might know, they— Bitch, you were making $1.75 a night, bitch. You're a celebrity, please. Well, that led them to put me in solitary confinement.

Oh, that's the worst, though, isn't it? Well, you don't have the chance of getting the shit kicked out of you, like in the yard or anything like that. But you got to stay in a cell 23 hours a day. I got out an hour a day. Yeah, but wouldn't you? I mean, you're already fucking laying. You could have, like, bought some protection from some big guys

and been cool after fucking, you know, fucking running a boy's pockets out in the yard. Come on, Artie. Yeah, that might have worked, but I'd rather do it the way I did it and be a little more safe. So you would have rather been solitary? Yeah, I think so, because you get to do everything on your own. You got your own cell. You get to shit when you want to shit. You get to...

Can you jack off? Sure, you could jack off. I jacked off in there. I would have jacked off a lot. Yeah, I jacked off quite a bit, actually. Were you doing like push-ups and shit like that? No, not really a lot of exercise. The jacking off was probably the most exercise I got.

You guys, I heard you had striations on your forearms like a motherfucker. I heard you looked like Lou Ferrigno, your forearms. Yeah, it was that kind of thing going on. But have you ever been in jail? Well, I got booked, but they let me out when I killed that hog. I was on trial for that, but they put me in jail, but but they let me out when i killed that hog when i was when i was i was facing you know i i was on trial for that but they put me in jail but then they let me out so i was kind of like imposer like i got a mug shot and shit but i never did any hard time was that what was

that for well remember we did bubba's roadkill barbecue and a guy brought a hog down here and you can and you can fucking kill it was a wild boar and you can you can kill them in florida they're a nuisance animal right so we're like let's kill that motherfucker and so they killed them and then we we barbecued it and ate it right there in the parking lot oh my god next thing and i would marty i was facing five years in prison really for killing a wild boar yeah live on the air for entertainment purposes, third-degree felony, five fucking years, and it went to a jury trial.

Now, I don't even know if, I mean, you've been through some, yeah, you know what, you've had to stand there and they fucking give you the good news, too. That's pretty nerve-wracking. I got to stand there, jury of the foreman stood up. I don't know if you've ever been a jury trial. No. I mean, you just have some

fancy dancy lawyers say you're sorry and they give you a little bit of time that's what you get that's what i did i did whatever i could do put it that way and so i had to sit there the jury foreman makes you stand up and then they're like you know uh the state of florida versus bubba clem the the jury finds you and man i don't care how big of a stud you think you are when you were waiting for that. The jury finds you. Right. Yeah, absolutely. And they were going to take me into custody.

The jury found me not guilty of animal cruelty charges because a professional hunter. Did you know I'm the only guy in the world that's been arrested for the killing of a wild boar? I could imagine. I could imagine that. I mean, wild boar i could imagine i could imagine that i mean wild boar who gives a shit right you know in fact the guy who killed it just got done trapping it off of a person's property that called him and he got 500 for getting a nuisance animal off their property he happened to listen be listening to the radio and he's like why would you guys be eating possum and raccoon and all that bullshit? It was Bubba's Roadkill Barbecue.

When I can bring you a brand new fucking freshly yippee-yoed hog, he brought it down there. They slid his throat. We fucking barbecued it. We ate it. It wasn't no big deal until the animal rights motherfuckers got a hold of me. Wait a minute. See, this is an example, perfect example of why you guys were the Westies.

You had a thing called Bubba's Roadkill Barbecue, and you would eat roadkill well it was for metallica tickets so these fucking white trash down here in florida will do anything for metallica tickets okay and so that's like that's billy joel in madison square garden all day for you fucking new york you know i'm saying and so so we're like listen go find dead animals on the road and we're gonna fry them up and you fuckers are going to eat them for Metallica tickets. So we're all ready for that. We had like three dead squirrels, a couple of raccoons, some shit like an armadillo, some shit that people would find on the fucking road. And we wanted to be as disgusting as it could be. And all of a sudden here comes this hunter.

It's like I got a real fresh, you know this motherfucker's still in the cage mad as hell and he goes you know i'll kill it because he's that he was the hunt already i never even i was in the in the studio the entire time i never even went out to the parking lot they still put me in jail i was gonna say what about the guy that actually killed it no he went to jail too i mean he got a fucking rest he was right there shoulder to shoulder with me facing chargers and so was brent brent was facing charges And so was Brent. Brent was facing Chargers. And so was another dude. We are all facing five years.

When was this? This was in 2001. Oh, okay. We didn't even know each other. Yeah, that's before us then. You might have been working on the shores back then. Fucking, you know, flim flam and fucking, you know, sports book. 2001, i had the

cushiest life ever i was on a sitcom in la and uh oh just killing it as a supporting actor and it was like you know sometimes i'd have one line one line in the whole episode and i'd make 35 grand for the week with whores and just just all con where are the whores the best Artie where are the best whores well probably probably in the Florida area I'd say Tampa Miami well besides like you know I've not traveled like you like how's Austin Texas Austin Texas I never

had a whore in Austin Texas I couldn't tell you how about Dallas I've been there Dallas never had a whore in Dallas Vegas is this lying Artie where's my fucking arguing vegas it's it's oh i've heard the vegas stories yeah vegas is nice i think the last time i saw you at ruth eckard hall one of your one part of your stand-up routine was the whores in vegas if you remember right yeah that was that was part of your d that was what was part of your act

about the whores in vegas about how you got to make them clap their hands so they don't steal anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These two hookers I had up in my hotel room, they were like stripper hookers. They were a nice quality. And I had to go take a shit and I said to them, could you clap your hands?

I want to play a game. Clap your hands. When they're clapping their hands, they can't steal nothing. Right, and you're listening while you're shitting, and as long as they're clapping their hands, they're not taking your rollie. Yeah, absolutely. You were never a Rolex kind of guy, though.

No, no, no. I had decent watches, but I never had a Rolex. What was your biggest, like, flashiest? Like, you don't come across real flashy, Artie. That's why when we were all in the whole Howard world, you and I kind of like, we didn't really hang out, but we kind of appreciated each other because we're both kind of dudes dudes. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I'd be driving a fucking bulldozer, and you could be unloading on a forklift down there at the Jersey store or some bullshit. Oh, yeah. I always know that I was only just one bad joke away from going back to loading trucks and ships. That's for sure. Yeah, but

I don't know. I had a Cartier watch. That was pretty nice. Yeah, you don't seem like a Cartier guy though. No. Cartier seems a little fancy for you. Yeah, it's fancy as hell for me. Plus, you don't like France anyway. Didn't you get screwed over in France?

I got arrested in Paris. See, Marty, I know more about you than you... I hear all these fuckers you have on these podcasts. They don't even know you like I do, buddy. I'm your real buddy. Fuck those guys. That's true. No one ever really asked me about that, but I got arrested in Paris for

actually fighting. Talk about slitting a wild boar's throat. I actually fought a gendarme, a cop in Paris I got into a fight with. They arrested me for public drunkenness. Imagine that. Yeah. And the Parisian cop said to me, he goes, if you just have alcohol in your system, everything's fine. If you have drugs, you have to go away.

Bye-bye. Go away. Bye-bye. Go away. Bye-bye. You're like, fuck you, buddy. Go away. Bye-bye doesn't work where I come from, motherfucker. And thank God I had no drugs in my system. It was just alcohol. Did they make you do like a piss test and stuff?

Yeah, I got to do a piss test and it came back clean for drugs, but yes, for alcohol. So they made me stay the night in jail. So I spent the night in a Parisian jail. Is it pretty, is it bougie? Is French jail bougie? It has to be better than Sussex. Not at all. It was worse than Essex. Really? Yeah, because it was like one of the oldest jails in the world. Like, like Ponce de Leon stayed in this jail for a night. It was really a wild ride. You know, I had to stay in there overnight.

And I said, if I have to do real time in here, I'm never going to make it. Because I had one guy in the cell with me who was this like 90 year old French guy. And he was like the Otis of Paris. He was a town drunk. And he just used to let himself in and out of the jail. He would just lock himself up, and they trusted him, and he was sleeping right next to me,

and I'm like, this is fucking, this is really, I come to Paris, and I get fucking arrested. Now, were you in Paris to do a gig, or just in Paris to fuck around? I was there to see Springsteen. As his guest, weren't you?

Well, I got backstage and stuff like that, yeah. But Springsteen kind of knew me through other people at the show. Did word get back to Bruce that you were fucking locked up? Well, here's what happened. Springsteen had called. There's a famous story. Springsteen called me at home when I was trying to get off heroin. And he really helped me do that.

That phone call meant a lot to me. And I see Springsteen at the after show. And I say, hey, man, I think I beat alcohol and I beat drugs. And he gives me a hug and he goes, that's really great, man. That's great. Good news, you know. And 20 hours later, I was in jail for public drunkenness. So here you are bragging to the boss that you're Johnny Superclean and you're fucking already back in jail because you're fighting some fucking Pierre motherfucker.

Yeah. And I said I said, oh, God, what if what if Springsteen hears about this? I'm sure he will. And it lasted. It lasted about 18 hours that that. Now, did they just say, OK, listen, American, get the fuck out of here. Jack should go through some kind of like, you know, court system deal no it was it was like they were real super gangster they said you know look you're just going to spend the night in jail and at 9 a.m tomorrow we'll let you out you could leave just on your own recognizances and uh i uh i i actually got my shirt torn off during the fight and i was shirtless the whole time, too. That's something else. I mean, could you imagine

I'm shirtless in jail with this public drunk in Paris, France. So they wouldn't even give me something. I said, you got something I can wear it outside? No, I had to get a cab. I had to try to get a cab. I'm hailing a cab with no shirt on in Paris at 9 o'clock in the morning on a weekday.

Like, that doesn't stand out. Some fat guy from Jersey with no shirt on in Paris at 9 o'clock in the morning on a weekday. Like, that doesn't stand out. Some fat guy from Jersey with no shirt on in Paris, right? They got all these Louis Vuitton and Cartier shit. Some fat guy that formerly had a wife beater on is now fucking all of his hair hanging out like a fucking sass quack. I look terrible, man.

I look terrible. I look the direct opposite of like a Sassone commercial. Oh, yeah. This is complete. You were the before. Like, you know, you were like the before picture, before the makeover. It's right. It's funny you say that.

I used to make a lot of money being a before picture. But, yeah, so I'm out there with my hand up in the air trying to get a cab. Finally, I get a cab. No shirt on. No shirt on. Shirtless. And I know you're a hairy motherfucker, too. get a cab. No shirt on. No shirt on, shirtless. And I know you're a hairy motherfucker, too. I mean, you're from Jersey.

All Jersey guys, you know, look like they got a pelt, you know? Well, sort of, but I'm half German, so the Italian side is hairy, the German side isn't. But, yeah, so I finally got a cab, and the cab driver's like, what's wrong with you, Major? Like, I don't know You're like, where do I start? Yeah, I'm like, I got time to make small talk

Because you take me to the hotel I was staying at the Hotel Lutetia I'll never forget that And the guy knew where it was But it took like a half an hour to get there Because of the traffic It was just, it was brutal, man And I'm in the back of a cab now, shirtless

The whole time shirtless and you know people are looking at me like what is that fucking guy up to what is that guy up to get a garbage bag or something and put it over yourself now what are the chicks like in France are they you know are they bougie are they fuckable

well I was there with my fiance so no disrespect to her no that's alright don't worry about it but that was like three fiances ago though wasn't wasn't it? Yeah. This is a while ago. This is a while ago. And so I couldn't tell you, but I tell you tell horror stories just like I do. You never really put a fucking definitive date on it so that no other current bitches can tag you down on the deal. I do that with my books too I'm like you know What's the statute of limitations on this story

Where are you from You're from Ohio right No fucker I'm a Hoosier I'm a fucking Hoosier I'm a Hoosier buddy Now what happened When did you break away from Satellite radio

When did you stop Eleven Eleven going into twelve When did you break away from satellite radio? When did you stop? 11. No, 11 going into 12. All right. When did you get? 2009, I left. Oh, so I was there a couple years after you.

Yeah. And it got to be where, you know, we're doing good and Howard's cool and everything. And then Greenstein comes to my agent and they were paying us a million bucks. They were paying the show. They were paying me 1 million bucks. Right. And I had to distribute, I had to distribute that out to amongst everybody.

Right. Right. And you know, spice boy was like make, and we had like another, we were making like another 2 million on member. We were doing regular radio. Yeah.

So we were doing like, you know, I was fucking balling pretty good. That's nice. And the boys were making like the guys were making like a buck 80. Manson was making like 500. Wow. And I was and I was making like, you know, a million.

And and and Sirius paid us, you know, a million base. And and so they come to me and we're doing good i think we're doing good they're everybody likes us we're doing good and they're like scott greenstein says it's it's 200 000 the new contract is 200 000 take it or leave it oh my god and i'm like an 80 percent what do we do and they're like well you're not doing you didn't do anything you're killing it you're you know phone calls are up fucking this and that. And I'm like, and then, you know, I talked to Howard and Howard was, I'm just going to be honest when the day I interviewed with Howard, when he in, in oh five, before we started, he said, listen, any,

and he was completely upfront about it. And I don't know if he ever had this conversation with you or not, but he's like, listen, I'll stick up for you when I can, but you work for them, not me. And don't ever, ever, ever involve me about a contract or money dispute. Right. That's like, don't ever get me involved into your money business. That's none of my business. I do not want to have. And so I couldn't even really go to Howard on the deal because I'd been out of respect to him. He, you know, specifically said, respect to him he he you know specifically said don't do that so i told them to go fuck themselves and variety magazine actually printed the public

said go fuck yourself scott greenstein and then of course ned wrote a song about you know us fucking greenstein's dad and it fucking went just bad i really i really burned i don't know if i burned a bridge worse than you did or not but I fucking I torched it it was pretty bad yeah I mean that's that's crazy from a million to two hundred thousand you're like whose wife did I fuck Jesus Christ yeah and who or who wants to fuck my wife or whoever I mean you know that seems to be in the water right now that seems to be the pot you want to talk about getting fucked already you tell listen to this so and i'm not going to get into too much specifics but here's the deal i got a wife she's hot as fuck all right

hogan's my roommate he's going through a bad divorce you know how i'm a fuck already you know how we roll down here we're just like you know we're like boys and shit and you know my wife always thought hogan was kind of you know cute whatever and so we're him and i are coming home from the dollhouse one night you know i get her on speakerphone she was kind of, you know, cute, whatever. And so we're him and I are coming home from the dollhouse one night, you know, I get her on speakerphone. She's rubbing her fuck, you know, she's, you know, she's just doing, she's rubbing her shit stuff and just one thing led to another. And I let, I let Hogan fuck my wife. Okay. Right. Okay. Is that, I mean,

is that any reason I need to be blackballed for the rest of my fucking life? I mean, think about this. Hogan gets $1 million dollars for fucking my wife my wife leaves me and she's hooked up with another millionaire she's you know she knows how to fucking pick them right and i get left with my dick in my hand fucking busted fired and i'm officially the you know i'm that guy who let Hogan fuck his wife. And he made $141 million. I don't get it. How did he do that?

Well, and you know who released it, don't you? Spice Boy stole it from me. Oh, okay. Spice Boy stole it and tried to shop it and tried to extort hogan for it right there was an fbi sting and everything oh my god that is the wild west you're crazy no listen to this i mean there's actually there's actually a documentary that's being that's in like in the middle of and when i get it it's going to be out probably in about a year i hope i can maybe call you and promote when we get it going yeah sure it's called video killed the radio star and and starring bubba clam and you know so spice boy steals this fucking tape i got okay now how'd you do that well we we move into these new

studios and i don't have an office right and i and my and i had this tape and listen i'm i got skin in the game i'm not trying to say that i'm johnny fucking innocent here i had the tape right you know my surveillance system got it i probably should have destroyed it but i didn't right and my lawyer told me you better fucking destroy that thing so i didn't and spice boy fucking stole it then he quit and so then next thing i know uh he there he's shopping this tape around and i don't know i don't even know that the tape is gone because i don't i don't i don't go back to my little office area and check my fucking third drawer from the top every day i don't you know right you go check do you go check your shit every day no right i mean you know so like the guns and all the cool shit that you probably got

already you don't go and check how many fucking 8ks you got in the back there do you no guns no no so you probably can't have a gun sorry i didn't mean to bring that up i can't have a gun it's better than i don't have a gun it's probably better you don't have a gun yeah you're right probably yes you know what we i bet you'd be good with a slingshot though remember those old school slingshot we used to get as kids yeah not bad so anyway uh spice boy steals this motherfucker and he quits the show and this is in march of 2012. And next thing you know, in October of 2012, no, in March of 2012, there's a screenshot on thedirty.com that says, it's a picture of my bedroom. There's a picture. And so I'm driving to work.

This is two weeks after Spice Boy already quit. I'm driving to work. Brent calls me and says did hogan ever fuck your wife and i'm like i'm like god i'm like brent what do you now already i know that this has happened to you do you know when you're fucked like when you're totally fucked and like your temperature goes up to like like seven degrees instantaneously oh yeah even like you know like when you're fucked like like when the cops bust the door down or whatever the fuck you've done in your life

you just know that and you know your body instantaneously just gets like eight degrees hotter right absolutely brent i'm on my i'm driving to work it's 4 fucking 45 in the morning and brent gets here before me and he's you know goes to all the internet and all that bullshit all the fucking stories and he goes calls me and he's, you know, goes to all the internet and all that bullshit and all the fucking stories. And he goes, calls me and he said, did Hogan ever fuck your wife? And I go, what are you, what are you talking about? Like almost like Ronnie Munn would say, what are you talking about? And what are you fucking talking about? And I go, he goes, well,

on the dirty.com, there's a picture of your bedroom with Hogan fucking your well on the dirty.com there's a picture of your bedroom with hogan fucking your wife on the dirty.com i'm like oh my god brent go upstairs and look in my drawer and see if there's some discs in there so he runs upstairs while i'm driving to work and he's like nope there's no discs in there well i knew at that point i just didn't know who fucking stole it so you know i call the police police go do an investigation hogan calls the fucking cops he's full-blown fucking mad he's freaked out and uh next thing you know spice boy gets a hold of hogan's people and spice boy actually hires a girl that works at the bank and gives her $800 to go represent the owner of the tape.

And they have this big FBI sting. And Hogan was supposed to write a $300,000 dummy check. And then that's when the boys crashed the door down and started apprehending people. And the feds never pressed charges because I was going to be the victim. Really? Yes. So then listen to this. So they don't. Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, it's like a drug dealer getting his drug stolen, you know, like, OK, right. You know, you got your sex tape stolen, but you let Hogan fuck your wife. Right. Right. How much of a victim can you be?

Well, I can be i mean it pretty much sucks to be on my side of the fucking fence over here yeah so so spice boy gets they let they don't they don't press any charges nothing they said it was going to be an absolute shit storm of a trial fucking pro wrestler shock jock fucking hot big-titted wife, stolen this and that. So they no-file it. So Spice Boy then goes, I'm doing mornings on – Spice Boy's doing nights on the same radio station that I'm doing mornings on. Right. And the afternoon drive guy, the afternoon drive guy's name's Mike Calta,

and they hate me. Of course they hate me because I'm the morning guy and they're fucking afternoon drive. You know who makes all the money. You know, the afternoon drive guy doesn't make – I mean, made a hundred million i made one million fuck that's how it goes there you go so there you go thank god you're on the hundred million dollar show buddy already how much were they paying you back in the day a lot i was making 900 000 a year i think something like that that's pretty good already yeah and it was just a big pro and it was just to promote your fucking stand-up shows that I was making $900,000 a year, I think, something like that. That's pretty good, Artie. Yeah, absolutely.

And it was just to promote your fucking stand-up shows that you're making a buck 80 on, bitch. Am I not right? No, times were good. Times were good. God. So anyway, Spice Boy tells Mike Calta, well, this tape's no good to me.

I mean, you know, I tried to shop it. I almost got fucking arrested. So he gives it to Mike Calta. Mike Calta gives it to, I hope that this doesn't ruffle any feathers. And I hope that this guy doesn't represent you or nothing. But Tony Burton is the one that walked the tape down to Gawker and hand delivered it on behalf of Mike Calta.

Wow, really? And then I got fired because they're like, you don't want a sex tape guy as your morning guy. But they promoted Mike Cauta as the guy who fucking actually distributed the tape is currently doing morning still on the show that used to be mine. Oh, is that? I think I know that guy. Tony represents him, right? Yeah, Tony represents him.

Right. I know. I know the guy. Because that's Don Buchwald's office was being sued as part of it. When Hogan sued Cox Communication, Buchwald's office was part of the deal. So it's just a big fuck job. It really is. Wow, man.

I got fucked. Jeez. You really did. You paid Hogan to fuck you. Yeah, right. Hogan fucked both of us. He did have a big dick though i'll tell you that man full big old thermos on him but i could hit the sides afterwards my lord yeah no i'm telling you

so what happened so when you then you get a divorce because of that right yeah well yeah yeah that's yeah that's not good for the marriage deal you know no hey hey honey you know you're not the biggest whore in town so So what happens after you leave satellite? Where do you go? You go back to mornings in Tampa? I went, I did mornings in Tampa and, you know, did do, I'm still doing mornings in Tampa. And, you know, we're doing, we're, we're on Twitch and we're, we're, we're scrambling for that digital dollar.

Like everybody else is, you know, right. Bunch of fucking bunch of whores out here trying to get fucking podcasting going. Well, you had a big, you had a big, uh, uh, following on your website, right. Bunch of fucking bunch of whores out here trying to get fucking podcasting going. Well, you had a big you had a big following on your website, right? Well, we we still have eight affiliates, terrestrially. We still are on eight stations. Right. And, you know, we we were huge on Twitch. We're we got a pretty good we got a pretty good podcast.

Not as good as yours. I've been seeing God damn already. I mean, just right out of the box. And you're doing 50, 60, 70,000 fucking view. I mean, my Lord, buddy. That's why I had to get on this fucking show to promote my shit. I'm happy to have you, man. There's no one better on the radio to you, Bubba. Oh, stop it.

You know what? But somebody has told me so many times because, you know, you were you were just unbelievable on Howard. Like you're a great like your role of the second in stand up, you know, smart ass, you know, like just just just what you do that you and I could do if I could have you if God, you and I would be great together. You don't think we'd be great together, buddy? Yeah, I think so. I absolutely think so. I mean, no disrespect to Howard, but I'm different than Howard. I'm a little bit more of like a dude's dude.

You know? No, absolutely. Like a long Sherman. You know what I'm saying? Right. Absolutely. Howard would probably agree with that statement. But it's like, you know, when

I first heard Howard was going to hire you guys, Bubba the Low Sponge, I'm like, oh, what are you going to hire? A hacky radio guy. And then I heard you. I listened to you. And I'm like, wow, Howard really doesn't know what he's doing. He knows what he's talking about. You're different than those other guys. I'm telling you what they should do.

I'm telling you what they should do. I'm just fucking telling you right now. I don't know that Sirius XM has a plan post Howard. I mean, you know, Howard only does 100 shows a year. And by the way, this is not a slight on Howard. I fucking adore Howard. Howard gave me the stage to you to Howard by all means. But I don't know that Sirius XM has a post-Howard plan. And I think that inevitably this is probably Howard's last deal, I would think. Yeah, I mean, he'll be 70-something at the end of this deal. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think he's got exactly four years left, maybe three. I don't know. But, you know, he's not – I don't think he's, I just don't think that he's going to do another deal. So has Sirius XM thought about who's going to replace Howard? And if you think about it, there's only one guy and you and I have lived in that world. And I

know you're going to be, there's only one guy that was anointed by him, that was handpicked by him, that's similar enough to retain his audience and has been respectful and that he actually thinks is good. And that's me. That's right. There's no other motherfucker in the world that can, that would be able to step in there and not rip his shit off, but be enough like him to make people happy. Right. No, absolutely. I agree with you. I agree 100%.

And here's what I'm saying. If you're still alive and not fucking up, you come in there and be with me. If I'm still a free man. If you're still a free man, not dead and or fucked up in some gutter because you're down 80,000 on the Jets game, you're fucking degenerate, and get your ass and be my fucking sidekick let's get you 900 again bitch get you a buck 75 for an atlantic city gig keep you clean and get rich again how about that that sounds fantastic you cut that deal in a minute already got you 900 to come in just

fucking get in here by five till six i'm a little bit i'm a little bit of a stickler on being on time okay you can do like eight or nine smoke breaks whatever fuck you need just come in here by five till six i'm a little bit i'm a little bit of a stickler on being on time okay you can do like eight or nine smoke breaks whatever fuck you need just come in here let's make some good radio buddy yeah no absolutely that sounds fantastic would you would you would you do radio again in that capacity sure i would sure i would absolutely if uh i mean hell i'm doing this you know i mean this is basically radio and, uh, you know, this is like sucking radio's dick. Like we're sucking radio's dick right now. Kind of like dick sucking. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's a little more liberating and we can really get into it,

but it's quite, it's just not quite as sexy yet. We're not, we haven't hit the Adam Carolla fucking standard yet. No, absolutely. But Rogan, I mean, some of the eyes are fucking killing it. Yeah. Rogan's killing it. Absolutely. Rogan, Rogan,

Rogan's great at this. I've been on Rogan show a couple of times and he just, uh, he knows what he's doing. I saw your Rogan show. I saw your Rogan show and you guys, I think Rogan wanted to do you so bad that they went and got like these little studios in New York and he,

cause he was in New York and I loved it. I love that show. Yeah. Thank you. It's fun to do. But, you know. Listen, I don't mean to interrupt you, but when I get a big time fucking deal from SiriusXM,

I'm using you as bait, okay? I'm going to chum them up with. I can get Artie in here clean. You think you can go back to Greenstein after all that stuff? I would. I've written him about 100 emails saying i was sorry and i'm not a one of them fucking been answered let's hope he cashes out on the stop deal here soon and we got a new person in there

yeah there you go you see you know you seem to be up on all this shit yeah but you know what the one thing that i don't do now is i don't have the strippers in here anymore, and we don't do, like, you know, sucking chocolate dicks. So, like, we don't do the stunts. I just, you know, pretty much just, you know, talk about what's happening, put my Bubba spin on shit. I just need a real kick-ass comedian here with a couple zingers every once

in a while. I need you already. I always say this, the epitome of why you guys were the Westies and we were the Gambinos. The bit that I remember you did was when the shit hits the fan. And I thought it was like, you know, like a metaphor. When the shit hits the fan, you're going to tell somebody that his wife is cheating on him. Or at the worst, that's what you're going to do.

But no, you actually took shit and threw it at a fan. Yeah, we went and got these big time shop fans from Harbor Freight. And then we built a hopper system that the shit would flow into the back. We put our guys in front of this seven horsepower shop fucking deal that had 75,000 RPMs. And then we took cow shit. For some reason, like human shit's bad, but animal animal shit's good that's why they fertilize with us so we took cow shit and dog shit and pig shit and we made shit shit milkshakes you know because you can't throw and we threw it right in the back of the fucking fan and it was a fan that we were never going to use again and then it just literally just fucking sprayed shit. I remember Greenstein. After that bit, we had to call and get all bits approved by Greenstein.

Oh, yeah. And the bits pretty much dried up for that one. Yeah, that's fun to do. You got to call to get permission for something you want to do when you're that crazy. I can imagine. Remember we used to shop the puss? We'd take real dog collars that could take Dobermans down,

and we'd put them right on girls' snatches and shock the shit out oh yeah shock yeah you did that on our show yeah that's how that that was my first appearance i shopped that akira's girls pussy remember yeah i remember you put some on the on the richard and sal's balls yeah we shocked the balls there what's richard and sal doing nowadays are they still there they're there i'm sure they're still Richard and Sal's balls. Yeah, we shocked the balls there. What's Richard and Sal doing nowadays? Are they still there? They're there. I'm sure they're still there. Yeah, they're still there. Man, what an easy gig. I think you just remote in now over there.

Yeah, Howard, you know, it makes sense that Howard would be really upset about the COVID stuff. But, yeah, I remember the greatest thing about that when you shocked their balls. You said, all right, shock coming about that. When you, when you shocked their balls, you said, all right, coming to the shock, coming down in one, three, two, one. Yeah. You give them a little notice, a little courtesy tap, you know, right before you come,

you always give a girl a little courtesy tap, right? Shock coming down in three, two, one. Now, Artie, Artie, shocking your balls in three, two, one. Oh, and it hurts. So, Artie, what about your love life? Can you talk about that at all? Are you with a girl? What's your deal? I'm not with a girl. I'm not with anybody right now, no.

Really? Yeah, I'm playing it close. What about, like, what's the average day? Like, what's the average Artie Lang day? Well, the most interesting it gets is what you're seeing here. I do a podcast. I write a lot. I, you know, I'm very calm.

I'm leading a very calm life right now, which is something I had to do, I think. You got to do it, Artie, you motherfucker. You got to. Yeah, because I don't have, my problem is I don't have a medium or a slow i just have a fast you know you're like talladega you're either like going in the pits get new tires or you're wide the fuck open right so you know it's it's uh i'd i'd say uh are you in the are you in the pits right now just kidding getting an oil change yeah i'm paying i'm paying an entire road crew to rotate my tires. Now, how long, I mean, is there a certain amount of time you got to go before you can start, like, touring again or things like that?

Well, I got to wait out this probation that I'm on to travel extensively, you know. But I could do more localized gigs, which I was doing. But right now, I just do the podcast. Yeah, but don't do no more local gigs. which I was doing, but right now I just do the podcast. Yeah, but don't do no more local gigs. Wait till you get off probation and it can be the get off probation tour and you'll fucking sell big rooms out, buddy. You see, you gotta, you gotta, you always had a mind for business too, buddy.

Don't do the fucking chuckle hut this weekend and Contra Hawkins, New Jersey, go and stay on probation, stay on probation for however fucking long it is. And then you come back big and you're selling out like 3,500, 5,000 seat venue motherfuckers. Cause they have nobody seen you in a long time. Yeah. That's the move. That's the move.

Well, I'm not saying I'm playing it directly like that, but, uh, you know, can I, can I be the t-shirt venue on the already laying out a probation tour? I can sling some fucking shirts. Can I be the opening act? I bet you the opening act makes about 1500. I bet you. some fucking shirts. Can I be the opening act? I bet you the opening act makes about $1,500, I bet you. Easy. Easy, $1,500. When you were fucking rolling, what was the opening act making?

When you were rolling. I gave, and this was unheard of, I would give the opening act $5,000 sometimes. Fuck yeah, you would. I could live up to two months on that down here. I can live, fuck, I could live up to two months on that down here. So I could be the, I'll be the second fiddle guy on the radio show and you could do it. But the number one standup guy. So like on the, I'm the fucking host of the, of the, of the, of the radio show.

We'll use that just to fucking promote your shit. And then I'll be the opening act for you when we're going to fucking Detroit at the Fillmore. Okay. Yeah, there you go. And that's a life right there. That's a life. It would be. Like, Artie, listen, we gotta be at Detroit. We got a Friday in Detroit, and we got a Saturday in Grand Rapids. You're making a buck

50. You're gonna give me, like, you know, 10, and then we're good, okay, buddy? And I'll keep you clean. I'll get the whores. No cocaine, just whores. You can't test positive for whores, Artie. Come on. I found that.

And you know what else is not in your blood? Gambling. They can't find the gambling in your blood or urine. Yeah, but I've never been a big gambler, and you're a huge gambler. I know. That's something else. You talk about going at a medium pace. That was probably my worst vice for a while was gambling.

Yeah, like if I told you, hey, Artie, let's bet 500 on the Packer-Ravens game. I got the Packers and I'll give you the points. You couldn't take that bet. That fucking gives you a boner right there, that kind of talk. I love talking like that. No, but this is how you talk.

Yeah, I'll take the fucking Raiders with a dime with a nick on the backside, with fucking super parlay on the fucking triple nick-nick. That's what I need. Yeah, let's parlay into the afternoon game. And I got to press the night game because I'm back on the fucking parlay 500 double nickels. Absolutely.

Then I got to go settle up with Salvatore on Tuesday, like the bowling alley. Give me five dimes on the Redskins. And then I'll take the over on the fucking Packers and then give me the under on the Broncos and then let's tease that into a parlay with a double-nick backside. Yeah, the teaser.

That was my shit teasers, man. My shit was teasers. I know that's your fucking shit. Can you lay off the... Like, Hardy, I need to be your handler. We need to go on the road and I can be your handler. The guy who was on trial for slitting a wild boy's throat is my gambler. Is your handler. I'd be like, you know.

Is my handler. I'd get your money. I'd go settle up like Gene Simmons. I'd go fucking get your money and settle up like Gene Simmons. They wouldn't short us a dime. And I'd be like, okay, Hardy, I'm $10,000 to go down to the Conceito. That's all you're getting. You got a $150 here. We got a $150,000

check. I'm going to scratch out $10,000 of it and that's all you're getting. I'll give you the rest when we get to work on Monday, motherfucker. See, but that's not your job. Your job is for 20 minutes later when I come back needing more money to say no to them. Yeah, and then you'll be like, don't fucking forget who paid you $5, grand to open up, bitch.

Give me another 5,000 now. I need 10 Gs to go on the back burner. What is your favorite? Is craps? Is blackjack? I like craps. When you're in the casino. I like craps.

Blackjack is fun. Craps is where the action is, though, isn't it? Yeah, the best odds on any casino floor are craps. If you know how to play it. Yeah, if you know how to play it, yeah. And it is fun. Here's how Artie Lang plays it. Fucking number gets set at eight.

Artie juices up to four. Artie juices up to five. Artie juices up to six. And then he fucking puts 25 or a nick on the hard six. And then he gives me 100 on the hard eight because if I hit the point and it's a fucking hard deal, I get 36 to one on the back. Let me fucking put a two and a half odds on the backside.

Fuck, Artie's got 10 grand on the table. Some stupid fuck throws a seven first roll out. Fuck. Yeah. It's great betting against the roller. I love betting against the roller. You like going against the guy. Yeah, the pass and don't pass lines,

the don't pass is against the roller. I love betting the don't pass line. You're such a negative fuck. Yeah, you get to be a real spoiler. It's great. Because you start fucking erupting as soon as he hits a seven. You're like, yeah, motherfucker! Yeah.

And then you're officially that guy, aren't you? I'm that guy. I'm absolutely that guy when it comes to shit like that. But you've been that guy for a long time. Goddamn, Artie, it's so good to talk to you. I'm so really, for real, I'm so happy to talk to you, buddy. Yeah, it's nice talking to you too, Bubba. When can you come to Florida and be with me?

Well, let's get that deal going. Well, let me get that deal going, but at least when you can fucking start touring again, you've got to put Tampa. Tampa's a big... Oh, yeah. You killed it in Tampa when you do gigs down here. Yeah, Tampa was always a really good...

That and Clearwater, Florida. Yeah, that's where that Ruth Eckert Hall is, that real fancy place. Yeah, I remember you came with Hogan to see me do stand-up there. Yeah, imagine that. Then Ruth Eckert Hall is, that real fancy place. Yeah, I remember you came with Hogan to see me do stand-up there. Yeah, imagine that. Then he fucked my wife in the car on the way home. Hogan had a girl, though. The story's so

complicated. He ended up being his wife. We married Jennifer, and she looks just like Brooke. Yeah, you're right. You're right. She does. Anyway. Fucking stories I could tell. Listen, brother. Thanks for doing this hey listen motherfucker one if i if i try to get a hold of you just to say hi realize i don't want nothing two i genuinely love and care for you and three for real if i would

ever be able to negotiate something with serious xm my first call as my second guy would be you. And I'm going to hold you to it, motherfucker. All right. Especially if I can get you, you know, 900, you know, 900. That's good bread, buddy. That's not bad at all. And I'll, you know, I'll encourage your vices. I'll be like, Artie, let's talk about the fucking game.

How much are you putting on the Redskins? I guess you can't say the Redskins. How much are you putting on the Washington team?? I guess you can't say the Redskins. How much are you putting on the Washington team? Yeah, you can't say Redskins. I mean, you're gambling like you're crazy, and you can't say Redskins. That's the thing you're worried about. What's your opinion on Urban Meyer? Urban Meyer going to get fired?

I don't know. Maybe. I think so. I think that guy from Clemson sucks. Don't you think? Yeah, it's a complicated situation there. Yeah, it is. How are the Yankees going to be?

The Yankees will be good. They'll be good. They get their ass kicked by low-budget Rays every year. We got like a $38 million. We pay our entire team what the Yankees pay their fucking pitcher, and we can beat you guys. Yeah, no, the Yanks are a complicated situation these days.

But they're always going to be there as far as postseason is concerned. They just got to win in the postseason. Well, they got so much money. Yeah. You know, they got so much money. Yeah, Aaron Judge just got married, I think. Oh, he did? Yeah, which I think hurts the team.

I'd rather have a Derek Jeter guy, the guy who has fucking everything that walks and keep them happy. Yeah, I think a guy that gets married kind of loses, you know, a half a step in his tenacity at the end of the day. You know, when you're out there searching for pussy like a caveman, it makes you more hungry in sports. Absolutely. I think that's the way to go, like Mickey Mantle and stuff like that.

Yeah, Mickey Mantle. Wasn't he fucking Marilyn Monroe back in the day? Joe DiMaggio was. Oh, Joe DiMaggio. Yeah, he married her. He married Marilyn Monroe. Who do you think had a bigger cock, Joe DiMaggio or Mickey Mantle? Probably DiMaggio.

I think he had Sicilian blood in him. Sicilians got a bit like Fabrizio. Remember my boys Fabrizio? I love the names. Here's Fabrizio. Remember my boys Fabrizio? I love the names. Here's Fabrizio Manson. And Fabrizio straight from Rochester, New York. I know I'm not saying it right. Like if you're a native, you're supposed to say like Rochester, but Fabrizio is from Rochester.

I think his dad like ran the fucking trash racket back in the day or something like that. Oh really? Okay. I think Fabrizio's dad used to get on a plane every Tuesday and take like $500,000 in cash out to Vegas, was washing it for the boys. No kidding. I shouldn't have maybe said that. Yeah.

I don't think there might be statute of limitations on the mob killing me. No, they'll take that advantage anytime they can. Listen, man, thanks so much, and keep up the good work brother hey you as well and really uh good luck to you bud and any idea when you're gonna i mean when you start touring again please let me promote whatever i can or help you in any way i just i fucking absolutely adore you i always have and let's please keep in touch and you know what more importantly thank you for having me on your podcast. You're killing it. Your fucking podcast is killing it.

And Tim Sabian helped me get ahold of you and everything. So Artie, thank you for giving me this chance to talk to you, bud. Yeah, I'll make sure you got my number at home too. I'll make sure of that. And myself. Yeah, get like Antonio or Salvatore to get ahold of Mickey, to get ahold of Rhonda, to get ahold of Sophia, to get it to me. That's how I had to fucking get ahold of you. I talked to hold of ronda to get a hold of sophia to get it to me that's how i had to fucking get a hold of you i talked to a guy named like gilfie

talked to sonja talked to fucking little little jimmy fucking two shows joey i mean there was just a bunch of fucking paisanos i had to talk to they had to go ask a guy to go see a guy down the bowling alley fucking two shows two shows joey i like that Two shows Joey Hey Artie Lang I fucking absolutely Am pulling for you buddy I love the shit out of you bud Thanks and you too

You too Good talking to you Artie Bye buddy The great Bob with the love sponge And thanks for listening To Artie Lang's Halfway House Make sure to go to Patreon.com

Slash Artie Lang To get the exclusive Thursday episode Make sure to share this episode with everyone you know. As Artie says, take care and brush your hair. We'll be right back. Bye.