Artie Lange's Podcast Channel - 45 - LUIS J. GOMEZ

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

Artie is back with Mike Bocchetti and comedian/host of the Legion of Skanks podcast, Luis J Gomez. Support Artie's sponsors: FanDuel Sportsbook - Go to www.https://sportsbook.fanduel.com, download the app and use code ARTIE to get your first bet risk-free up to $1000 Sheath - go to http://www.sheathunderwear.com and use code ARTIE for 20% off your first order Fum - www.breathefum.com/artie for an extra 10% off of the Smoke Free January sale Support Artie by joining at http://www.Patreon.com or by clicking the JOIN button on his YouTube page. You'll get access to the exclusive Thursday episodes and nearly 400 Artie Quitter podcast episodes. Patreon supporters at the "Artie Insider" level will get access to Artie's voicemail line to leave a message to be addressed on a future show. To join his channel on YouTube to get access to an extra episode every week and the archives visit Artie Lange's YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCejSpn_F5eXMhVfbTXgC4JQ/join

Hey Mike, what's up buddy? What's going on? Not much, how you doing? Hey, you know, I'm usually a positive person But I'm a little gloomy guts today What's the matter? I'm just getting tied into this fucking COVID stuff And staying in to be a semi-prisoner And idiots battling online about it, you know what I mean?

It's like, let's get back to normality Yeah, absolutely, I agree with you You know, I just can't take it off Because I was always a hermit to begin with You were I thought I't take it off because I was always at home with the begin with. You were. I thought I would like this serenity, but it's getting on my nerves after a while.

You think so? There's only so many crossword puzzles and so many episodes of Gilgan's Island I didn't see. Yeah, you wanted to put your camera on? Yeah, it's on. It's not on. It's not on?

No. You don't see me? I see you perfect. I know, I don't see you. You know what, let me sign in again, alright? Alright. Okay. me sign in again, all right? Okay? There you go. Okay, sorry. It's always better to see you, buddy.

It's great to see you in person. What am I saying, in person? I thought I'd tell you, living like this and calling this in person. Yeah, this is in person, as far as I'm concerned. No, the thing is, you know, I mean, but yesterday I had to do a test that all people around our age group were at. What's that?

I had to go to a urologist to schedule a prostate exam. Yeah. So how'd that go? It started as a nightmare, but it ended up good. How'd that end up good? Well, when I went there to the nurses, I'm going to have to take blood from you.

This sounds weird. They said they couldn't find a vein to take blood out of me. Well, maybe that's because you're fat. You think so? Yeah, that has something couldn't find a vein to take the blood out of me. Well, maybe that's because you're fat. You think so? Yeah, that has something to do with it. Yeah, but this has never happened before. I mean, every time I went to a blood test, my cardiologist, you know,

the blood lab, they had no problem. And she's like, oh, my God, you have no veins. I'm like, what do you mean I have no veins? Maybe you're a little dehydrated. I don't know. But you mean I have no veins? Maybe you're a little dehydrated. I don't know. But you know what happened, though? But they made me put my pants down and show my, you know what I mean, you know what, and my butt.

And the nurse was like, her eyes lit up. Why was that? I'm only kidding. She was actually laughing her ass off. I don't know if something happened to all of you. It was me. was actually laughing her ass off. I don't know if it's from Malia or it was me. She was laughing her ass off at you? Well, I seen her

like smirking about to laugh. Oh my God. That's terrible. You don't want that to happen. But the thing is, her face looked like it was going to laugh. Yeah, well, it sounds it. No, but it wasn't bad, but I have to take this pill

that whatever it does and then for a couple of months you go back to the test itself. But what he said, you know, to make you bend over, I'm like, oh no. He goes, I have to. Yeah, you got to bend over for that test. There's no getting out of it.

Yeah, but this may sound bad. You know, if he did anything ridiculous, I was going to sock him in the jaw. Well, what do you think he was going to do ridiculous? Come on to you or something? No, no. I'm just. Yeah, you don't want him to come on to you in a situation like that. No, because if he did, I'd be arrested for stalking a sheriff.

You think so? Yeah. That's not something you're going for. No, because I'd be slamming his head on the fucking examiner table. Well, did you ever think about that, about getting molested? Oh, no, that's horrible. That never happened to you, right? No, thank God.

Yeah, thank God. Out of all the nonsense and garbage that happened to me, that never happened, though. That's good. What nonsense and garbage happened to you? What happened? What nonsense and garbage happened to you? What happened? What nonsense and garbage happened to you? Oh, all kinds of stuff. I was going to make a quick reference to, I'll get back to the garbage in a second,

but he called a reference to Betty White. God rest her soul. She was still alive the last time you spoke. Yeah, that's right. You know, and I, in my opinion, I was like, oh God, she spoke. Yeah, that's right. You know, and in my opinion, I was like, oh, God, she was an icon. It was awesome. I think some rocker stuff

some idiots wrote. Like what? Somebody wrote, she's 99 in the building there. Big, big whap. Oh, come on. She was 99. And he wrote that. I'm like, they're heartless. Yeah, it was two weeks before her 100th birthday.

I know. It's like, come on. The woman was an icon. And I'm like, nobody has respect now because of the internet. I mean, people, you know, can you imagine if we had the internet in the 80s? Oh, God, that would be crazy. We would have been arrested every week. Yeah, absolutely.

Nothing would have been off limits. No, no, because what was I going to say? My brother, not the guy you talked to last week, Tony, but my brother Al loved playing pranks on kids, music kids. Oh, yeah? Like what? You notice fire alarms we have when the kids set fire on their

red box? He would tell other kids, keep pulling that box and the ice cream man will come. Oh my god. He did. You know what he said? He goes, keep pulling the box and the good human or the softy guy will come.

Maybe the bum-going truck will come, right? And he goes, if they don't show up when this big red truck comes, run up to those guys and say, where's my chocolate sundae? And would that happen? He did. So people would run up and ask for a sundae? Instead, how crazy is that? He'd be like, keep pulling the box.

Don't be here. He goes, that's the box for the ice cream, man. It's a secret box you don't want anybody to know about. Oh, my God. What an idiot, really, right? So what nonsense and garbage did you go through? Oh, well,

at age six, it started at all. I was like six. My childhood friend, Teresa, who I heard turned out to be a really super attractive girl. She was a good looking young girl. I went to, you know, I hung out with her and her cousin when we were kids. I went to a house one day. She couldn't come out.

She was being punished and she got mad and she slammed the door on me. And I got a little irritated and I tripped and fell on a whole flight of steps. Oh my God. And I split my tongue in half. You split your tongue in half? And how did that heal?

I had to slow it back up. Six stitches? Six stitches. And you know what else is even worse? I had to go to speech class For six years Really After that from like age six to twelve To learn how to talk

Essentially Yeah because you know why I sounded like I was Japanese I would say instead of flag I would say frag My L's and R's Were very Asian sounding Yeah right Well that's true You know

That was one thing that happened And then Al did a lot of pranks He dared some kid to throw A lit cigar in a mailbox Oh my god That's the kind of Treasure he was up to He sounds like a real pain in the ass box. Oh my god. That's the kind of stretcher he was up to.

He sounds like a real pain in the ass. I don't know how I get out of childhood with him. Yeah, I know. It seems like a miracle. But he would start fights and then come running for me and go and then he liked bullying other kids, right?

But when all the big tough guy kids came for him, he was shaking under his bed in my mom's house. Was this your older brother? No, younger. They're all younger, Mick. Oh, they're all young. You're the oldest. Unfortunately, my mom would always say, you're an example. You know that term? She goes, apparently not a good one.

No, apparently not, Mike. I don't care. I never wanted to be an example. I wanted to make, you know, watch everybody else. I got even with them. One time my grandmother

had a back porch. It was all wood. It was long. It was like old and stuff. She wanted us to paint it in the summertime in July Yeah Right So I was Very shrewd as a kid You know what I did?

I could paint it if I wanted to But it made it look like I couldn't paint So I threw paint all over the place Splatted it, made it look like I didn't know what I was doing. Put paint on my face, my body, my shirt. Right? Right. Knucklehead, did you call her?

Yeah, she always talked like the Three Stooges, your mother. Yeah, she goes, what kind of painter are you? She goes, get your brothers out here to do this job. So you did that on purpose, though? Yeah, so I cleaned up. I was in the house sipping grandma's cold lemonade

when I was sweating like friggin' building Egyptian pyramids. Well, you went on a road trip with your uncle, I remember, like across country, right? That was amazing. I was only 12. I wish I was older, but it was incredible.

I'd seen more than half the country. When you were 12? Yeah. You know what's crazy, though? We went to New Orleans, because that was the first time. I went to New Orleans, but we weren't there that long. Maybe a day. Because that was the first time I went to New Orleans, but we weren't there that long. Maybe a day. And that was 1973.

And then we went back there with your show in 2003. 40 years later, and New Orleans was still the same. Yeah, New Orleans doesn't change. I love it. Sorry. You're coughing up a storm there Mike you alright

you know what I think I'm now I'm going to die I'm going to fall into a fucking potato salad at a family wedding is that your favorite potato salad no I used to like it but Nola was awesome I'll tell you the truth.

It's very, it's its own, it got this kind of weird vibe there. I mean, you got some of the best bluegrass and jazz players in the world in that part of the country. New Orleans, yeah. There are people

that just want to play over there, just love to play and perform that should be incredibly famous but they don't want to be they don't want to be? I think they want to be maybe they just like doing it they don't care about the commercial part

because my friend Chris told me about it, Brian he told me that Jerry Garcia was a commercial artist he just loved to play right Jerry Garcia from a commercial artist When he was first doing it He just loved to play Right, Jerry Garcia from The Grateful Dead And he said that They just weren't into that part of it

They just wanted to perform and play And make their music He said they weren't about becoming super famous And he goes in the same hit And it just took over Yeah, well that takes over for you, man. They toured. They were massive tour artists. They still

do a biopic or a movie about Massachusetts. Oh, really? About the dead? Jonah Hill was set to play him. Who is? Jonah Hill. Oh, Jonah Hill's going to play Jerry Garcia. That's interesting. I would have picked DiCaprio.

Anybody. Well, he would have had to gain a little weight. Yeah, but you know what? He's done that to swap his stuff. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like Jonah Hill. He's a talented guy when he does. But DiCaprio's at another level than him.

You think so? Yeah. He's played a lot more people. That's true. Leo got a really great range. DiCaprio has a great range. I mean, he played everybody from Howard Hughes to

Gags of New York. I know this is a geeky trivia part of it, but he was also on a TV show Growing Pains. Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, that'll get your acting chops up. What do you call it? I love stuff like that. Oh, you know who looks really attractive now?

And she's probably about 14, 13, 14 years younger than me. The girl that played Winnie on The Wonder Years. Oh, that played Winnie on the one that he is. Oh, really? She's on Instagram. Oh, really? You've got to be careful with her. She's married. But I always wanted Kevin to get with her

and he was an idiot. Why? Well, what am I saying? They weren't real people. It was a script. The writers that made them get together or not. You know what I mean? But I think he would have been a great match for her. I thought they do get together

on that show now. Now she moves away and he can marry somebody else I think. Okay. I'm not a big one. He really is a good guy on that show. He's a badass. He looks like the type. Dan Laurie was a Marine. Was he really? He's a badass. He looks like the type. Dan Laurie was a Marine. Was he really?

He was a Vietnam combat Marine, I think. But he fits that role. Who did he play? The dad? Yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. We can picture him as that type, right? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. If somebody said to us, Charles Nelson Riley was a Marine, I wouldn't believe it. Well, you were a Marine. No, I can't say I was. I never graduated. You can only say it if you graduate. But what was I going to say?

I watched a documentary, when it's good. Did you see it? Yeah, I watched a documentary, when it's getting, you see it? Yeah, I liked it. I loved it because, first of all, I wish they would have featured Artemis a little more. Yeah, Artemis Pyle. The drummer. You know what I learned about him that I didn't know?

He's a vegan. He's like a vegetarian. Yeah, well, he's a vegan. He's like a vegetarian. Yeah, well, he's a real hippie, you know. He definitely is a hippie, Art, because the thing about him is how chill he is. But he was a Marine also. He probably got tired of it. Oh, he was a Marine?

I didn't know that. Absolutely. Artemis was, because he definitely, you know, they used to call him the animal, I heard, because when they, you know, and I know, I always knew it, you know, they got in drunken punching fights across the country. I'm sure they did. Yeah, absolutely. They were a kick-ass band. You know, I thought they were just like, and they, hard drinking, hard partying guys. They did not, they definitely got in punching fights,

trashing hotels. I remember on the documentary, like, whoa. Yeah, they trashed a lot of hotels. I didn't think they would trash hotels. I pictured more like Led Zeppelin or Huthu with that. Yeah, but Skinner was right up there with them. Oh, yeah. But they also, how many shrunken brawls did they get in, like honky tonks down south?

Forget about it, right? Yeah, absolutely. They called Artemis the animal. Like, he'd be jumping in the mosh pit if there was a fight going on. I don't think they had mosh pits back then. Like the pit or whatever they had, you know? How is it cold by you? It they had, you know. How is it cold by you? It's cold across the country.

Yeah, it's cold. You do a little weather for us? You can't escape it, Art. You do a little weather for us? Okay. Right now in Anchorage, Alaska, it's 95 degrees with a little bit of a wind chill.

95 degrees in Anchorage, Alaska? Yes, due to climate change. That's a big climate change, man. Due to climate change, the weather has been quite ridiculous recently. Cincinnati, Ohio is 24 degrees below zero. With a touch of a hailstorm coming. So you farmers better be ready for a lot of shitty fruit this year. There you go.

Absolutely. No, it's fun because. And the thing is, like, with yourself, right? Are you a Knicks fan or probably not, right? I'm a Knicks fan. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay fan Let me guess your sports teams Alright It's not fair because I know you

But I know you're definitely a Giants fan Yep Knicks You're a Yankees fan I know that So you knew all these I like the Rangers or the Devils fan. I know that. So you knew all these. I like the Rangers or the Devils.

Hockey, I don't really have one team. No, but the thing is with the... I don't know what it's called now, but I went to one concert in my life and this was in the early 80s. It was called the Brian Byrne Arena. I don't know if it's still called that now. Brendan Byrne. Brandon, I'm sorry. Is it still called that?

No. What is it now? I think it's like the IZOD Arena or something like that. They went corporate. Yeah, because I went there to see, of all people, Willie Nelson. That's the one concert you've been to? Willie Nelson?

That's it. Why haven't you gone to other concerts? I don't know. I've been to Championship Wrestling. That's it. Why haven't you gone to other concerts? I don't know. I never liked, I, I've been to Championship Wrestling. That was cool.

Well, that's not a concert. It was fun though. I mean, I love seeing like, you know, seeing the Iron Sheik fight

Sarkin Slaughter was awesome. Oh, wow. That's a big deal. You know why? Because when, when they were coming down, and this

was like 85, the time we were having a lot of trouble in the Middle East when we started having problems with the movement out. The sheet came down and people were throwing toilet paper at him to the tissue. They were throwing toilet tissue at him? They were throwing toilet paper at him, right? Why is that?

Because they hated him. When the soccerers came out, waving the American flag, of course he came out. So you know what happened? He grabbed his cheek by his thing that he wears. Right. And he gave him a choke like this. That's how the fight started.

He lunged at Saunders' shoulder and he grabbed the cheek and he just sort of pounded his head. Where else are you going to get this kind of wrestling commentary? The thing is that the Sheik, is he really Arabic? He's from the Middle East now. I think so. Maybe not.

I never met him. You never met him? No. I met him on the Stern Show. He did the Stern Show quite a bit Was he fun? Yeah, he was great to have on He was great to imitate

The only wrestlers I met were Johnny Valiant Who? Johnny Valiant I never even heard of him I talked to King Kong Bundy on the phone He was cool King Kong Bundy on the phone? How'd cool. King Kong Bundy on the phone? How'd you do that?

Somebody wanted to book him for a comedy show, and I talked to him for about 40 minutes. What a gentleman. And who I met in real life, and he was awesome. I don't know if he's from New Jersey. I heard he is. Captain LeBaron. Oh, yeah, he's from Jersey, I think.

I thought he was, right? I met him at an event, they were doing a party I talked to him for like 20 minutes He was one of the nicest people I ever met Captain Lou Albano was? Yeah, very, just such a gentleman He was very cool Interesting, interesting

I met all people that were big at one time You met people that were big at one time You met people That are big Now or a couple of years back I met like him All people Like I said earlier Larry Storch, people like that I met

Larry Storch from F Troop He's going to be 99 soon Uh oh He's got the Big Betty White come up Yeah he's But the thing about him is He was an impressionist he was a stand up Oh he was

Yeah you know You know who he was friends with And I loved him I wish we would have met him Don Adams Oh yeah Don Adams Get smart Yeah but when you lived in Let me ask you something

I've been to LA a bunch of times When you lived out there in the 90s Did you see movie stars all over the place? Not really No you gotta really look for them They were there though right? You think? Yeah they were there

I hung out with Jack nicholson once at a party well yeah he was a big deal he was he was uh i think he was high but it's surreal because like i said you know i don't know if i ever told you this when i first met you and and melinda's and sal you guys i knew you were famous for a long time So was Sean And Howard It was very intimidating To first be friends with you You think so? Yes I gotta tell you that

I never told you that Because It's kind of intimidating Because first of all You guys did a million things You know what I mean? People knew you for years And knew John for years

Different things And it's like It was like Kind of surreal To be friends with you guys Well really Well that's That's an honor for you to say that no i mean it because it was very surreal it's like i couldn't you know even when i met you the first time to work with john i was like i can't believe i'm here with these guys it's like but the thing is and and i know and you

noticed from your own self Right But being a famous actor and comic Like you are and from Howard You don't know who your real friends are No you don't You gotta be careful in this business Am I right or wrong How many people have harassed you over the years

And there's stuff Yeah I know absolutely It's a pain in the ass, to tell you the truth See, that's why I never bought you for stuff I never bought John for stuff Anybody that was a friend that was a celebrity Because, you know what, I liked you guys as people before anything Well, you paid me back by being great on my show, man

You were great on the show You always were great You're always great No, but the thing is But I never like asking you for anything Because, you know what, First of all, there's no need to. Am I right or wrong? Because if your friends can help you in this business, they will.

Am I right or wrong? If they have something, you know what I mean? Like, a lot of guys, like, you know, if something's going on, you know, they want to get in on it. Even if you're not, first of all, you've got to be right for what they're doing. Yeah, absolutely. And you have to have chemistry with the cats

You've got to have chemistry, absolutely It don't matter I mean, you can have like I'll give you a good example I was friends with this girl Rory Rosegarden for years Right? And people were like

How come you're not on Everybody Loves Raymond? You know what I mean? As a regular And I explained to people First of all, it's not as easy as you think it is And people are like, how come you're not on Everybody Loves Raymond? You know what I mean? As a regular. And I explain to people, I go, first of all, it's not as easy as you think it is. Let's do that. Number one, you know, you have to have chemistry with the cats, first of all. Right? You've got to have a role that fits you right, number two.

Right? And Ray's not just going to stop pulling people in he don't know. Yeah, no, right. Exactly. There's got to be a protocol. Just because you have the same agent and manager doesn't mean you're getting in stuff with them. I mean, it helps. I mean, you know, if they do a movie and they package somebody

for stuff and you're right for something, they can put you in. Well, Mike, anybody would do themselves a favor by having you in something. And I love you. And thanks for doing this again, buddy. No worries, John. This episode of Ari Lang's Halfway House is brought to you by FanDuel. FanDuel is America's number one sportsbook.

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It's probably the hardest thing to quit. They say it's the worst addiction there is, nicotine. Dennis Hopper, I think, was famously quoted as saying he's kicked everything. He just couldn't kick cigarettes. Yeah, cigarettes are tough. How old were you when you started smoking? I was probably about 15. And obviously we're one day at a time, but I haven't seen you smoke today, yesterday?

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Happy New Year, buddy. So what was it like growing up in Jersey for you? You know, it was, well, first of all, I didn't really grow up in Jersey. I was born in Patterson, New Jersey. Right. And I lived there till I was four. And that my dad was murdered. He was stabbed to death when I was four years old.

Oh, my God. On the streets of Patterson, New Jersey, outside of a strip club. He was like, my dad was an unsavory character, you know. And yeah. So then my mom, she was, you you know she was also an unsavory character but she was she was on drugs and she sort of sent me and my sister to go live with my my great aunt my great grandma and uh yeah i moved i moved to rockland county new york which is the same shit it's like just like it's it's right on the border of bergen county new jersey

it's just strip malls you you know, suburbs in New York. You know, a lot of Italian Irish, a lot of Puerto Rican, which is what I'm half Puerto Rican, half Italian Irish. So it's like very much there's a weird like lack of culture with sort of like that suburban New York, like Italian Irish, like like they're almost like there is no culture. And that's the culture. Right. Yeah. Well well that sounds like a rough upbringing though man uh yeah i mean it was you know but like it's only rough now like when you look back as an adult you know it wasn't at the time it was it was it was rough at the time too but it was almost like you didn't realize there was a better side to things. So you just

sort of fucking, you know, you know, I just like live my life as it was. But yeah, it wasn't it wasn't super easy, you know, and now that I got a kid myself, I see exactly, you know, how shitty my upbringing was because I compare it to, you know, the life that I'm trying to give him. But you know, we're going to do you can't bitch about things. How old's your kid? him but you know what you're gonna do you can't bitch about things how old's your kid uh he just turned nine oh wow okay yeah yeah he just turned nine years old and yeah we uh me and his mother we co-parent we both live in jersey now we both moved out of the city into jersey so i like i like jersey people fucking hate on jersey jersey's cool yeah i like jersey too i grew up in jersey uh so what drove you to do stand-up?

It was When I moved to New York When I was 19 years old I started selling comedy club tickets For the New York Comedy Club Right And I was just exposed to it I grew up on stand-up right we all

you know we all did i think for the most part you but it was like urban shit like i i watched uh like def jam and like my favorites were like mauren lawrence and eddie murphy and and you know chris rock and like i just i was connected with like just the black comics were just talking about you know being poor and growing up like that was just like that's what I connected to. I never watched Seinfeld. I literally I I just started watching Seinfeld literally last year for the first for a while. I never watched Seinfeld because I just couldn't connect with like a fucking rich guy from, you know, from New York, a Jewish guy who had money in a nice apartment. It never made sense to me. But the comics that I liked were always very urban. And when I moved to New York City, I didn't really understand what a comedy scene was.

I didn't understand what step one number was, you know, like step number one to go do stand up comedy. I didn't get one like you didn't know what an open mic was unless you knew, you know. So I moved to New York when I was 19, a few days before 9-11. It was like a week before September 11th happened. And I was going to Baruch College and I answered an ad in the Village Voice. And it was, you know, sell comedy club tickets on the street, promote for comedy clubs. Right. Right. And this 2001 and I would, I got a package of tickets.

It was eight tickets for 20 bucks and I'd approach tourists or college people or whoever and be like, Hey, $20, I'll give you these eight tickets. You go to the New York comedy club, it's a two drink minimum. And you know, everyone would lie and be like, Hey, Chris rocks there. Fuck it. Every night Chappelle's going to be there tomorrow. Like it was, it was a hustle. It was a hustle on the streets of New York city. That's whatever, that's sort of the way that everyone did it. And I started going to the shows and I didn't really want to hustle people

because I liked the shows and I'd also see people at the shows. Cause I really got into it. So I'd be promoting the shows and these guys would hustle people and they'd see me and they'd be like, Oh, Chappelle's supposed to be here and I have to give him a few more tickets or whatever. But I was exposed to the comedy scene that way by promoting. And I started going to the shows and it was like it was guy.

It was New York Comedy Club back then. It was like guys like Greg Rogel. Greer Barnes was like a big fucking killer. And he was like one of the you know, it was like but it wasn't like a bunch of like well-known guys. It was like a bunch of New York guys who they were doing the cellar, a lot of them. But it was a handful of guys that just worked the door there that were there. But I started to see what comedy really was where it was like a little more of a community you know it's not just people that are on tv and then yeah that's sort of

how i got the the bug to do it yeah well that's uh that's interesting i mean you know because you have a good grasp of the business end of it yeah a little bit yeah i fucking you know you gotta because that dude i i you know and you know better than anybody else i don't i can't have a boss i've said too much stupid shit on podcasts i didn't realize a decade ago that saying the n-word on a podcast was going to ever haunt people yeah and uh and i just said it a thousand times so for me like it's i get i get a little more leeway because i'm Brown. You know what I'm saying? I think some other people don't, you know, but at the same time, it's like, I have to create a, I have to create a, you know,

a protection for myself by having a podcast network, you know, running my own production company, having my own merchandise company, running my own comedy festival. These are all things I do. Not because I, I mean, I love the business and I love doing business, but at the same time, it was like, if I wanted to do the type of comedy that I wanted to do as the, as the comedy scene shifted, I needed to be able to sort of protect myself and to be my own boss. So, you know, we got, you know, 40, 50 sponsors that we work with that fucking, they get what we do. They love what we do. Um, but that was over years of, of building out relationships

and having sales guys that are really motivated and it really is a real business behind the scenes what we do yeah absolutely i'm gonna learn that myself uh what what what's next in comedy for you for you think for the business nfts yeah right i don't even i literally can't tell you what an nft is i still don't know i is it a is it a is it a is it a cartoon of a monkey is it a fucking i don't know it's something to do with cryptocurrency i don't know tommy told me maybe a year ago tommy's like nfts trust me this we said i remember he said it clear as it was like excuse me next big thing a year ago and i was like shut up tommy please let me i'm trying to eat a steak right now i had no idea what he was talking about and then here we go um everyone has nfts i have no idea um for comedy no i mean it's the festival we do skank fest is like um that's like the thing that i i'm

most proud of that we've done in comedy yeah that's sold out in like a day right yeah yeah it's sold out you know 22 minutes were for the resale once we resold tickets again. But it was, you know, it's truly genuinely something that I'm passionate about. I think we're doing something that nobody else is doing. And, you know, the elevator pitch for people that don't know what Skank Fest is, it's a big comedy party. You know, 2000 people a day come into it's one venue, multiple stages. But it's not like when you go to a comedy festival and there's 20 venues all over one town this is all one place it feels very much like a party

and three days straight we go fucking hard and everyone's having literally the best time of their absolute lives and it's the best comedians in the world um doug stanhope this year you know told me that it was the best time he's ever had in comedy period and that's doug fucking stanhope who knows how to party right um so but it's incredible and it's something that we love so we're trying to make a deal working now with in vegas we're talking to a venue in florida as well but uh continuing to do skank fest continuing to grow the podcast i just started a new podcast with dave smith who's a brilliant you know political comedian yeah um and uh you know he does legion of skanks with me but we just started another one called yo mma raps with an mma show Smith, who's a brilliant, you know, political comedian. Yeah. And, you know, he does Legion of Scanty, but we just ordered another one called you on and they rap. So it's an MMA show. So I'm

just going to keep on creating shit. You know, I, I, I, I, the industry never came. I waited, I spent a decade waiting for the industry to come and give me shit. It's not like I didn't try to do all the things that you're supposed to do. I, I, I did just for laughs and I did last comic standing and Comedy Central and fucking I tried a thousand times to get a late night set. I put a dozen different tapes in, you know, and that path just didn't work for me. I'm just not that funny, but I didn't do my own shit. I think we got a cool crew of really funny people that we, you know, a little collection of comedians.

If you sort of look at what Adam Sandler did on a mainstream level, I feel like that's what we're doing in the sort of gas digital Legion of Skanks world on sort of an underground, you know, edgy comic level where it's like, we do work with the absolute funniest, you know, best edgiest comedians that take chances, you know, and we're creating really cool content with them in a unique way. And yeah, we're going to keep on just doing that. You know, best edgiest comedians that take chances, you know, and we're creating really cool content with them in a unique way. And yeah, we're going to keep on just doing that. You know, we're not trying to fucking, when people come after us, it's like, well, I'm not trying to get on TV.

I'm not trying to go right there. My, my agent hit me up recently, like a week ago about doing a television show. And I was like, literally, no, I just don't want to do it because I I'm on a very clear path right now. And I think those things can be a disruption. You think so, right? Yeah. I mean, look, if I get a fucking TV show, I'm getting canceled from that TV show within a week guarantees. So it's like, why am I even opening up that that sort of can of worms? I would rather do what I'm doing. And, you know, I'm doing I have a certain amount of success and i think we could have a lot more success there's a lot more room yeah talk about legion of skanks a little bit like that's a yeah that's a really unique podcast yeah legion of skanks it's the the most offensive podcast on

earth already what have you done it twice it's uh absolutely yeah it's fucking yeah we were fucked up we just say the most fucked up things you know we lean into it i think it's one of the reasons why we haven't been fucked with that much is because we do own the fact that we're the most offensive podcast on earth you know um but yeah it's me big j okerson dave smith and yeah we uh you know one of our episodes is called bill cosby rape victim beauty pageant to give you an idea well that sounds like old stern stuff too right yeah yeah tons of stern influence tons of opie and anthony actually what's funny is we never listen to opie and anthony me me me big j and dave were all stern fans all of us like hardcore stern fans I used to listen to Stern in middle school. My mom would drive us in the morning. I'd listen to, you know, 10, 15 minute little clips and then we'd

watch the show late at night. But yeah, that's you know, we definitely have a ton of influence there. I don't think that type of comedy should go away. I think there's a it's a niche and there's a need for it. And there's a there's a bunch of people out there who like fucked up jokes. Most of these people have fucked up lives. It's not like it's from a place of privilege the people that like this type of comedy most of the time they have really fucked up lives and this type of comedy makes them feel normal they feel like it's an escape it's you know they get to they get to laugh at some fucked up shit that maybe you know the type of jokes that their uncle or their dad would make and fucking they get to go like oh shit there is something there right um so yeah that's what legion of skanks is you know it definitely we're fucking boomers it's not for

kids it's not for anybody under you know 30 years old in my opinion that's the cutoff but uh it's it's a lot it's a really fun show it really is a lot of fun yeah you know how much of it was an escape for you comedy like escaping uh maybe some stuff from your childhood you wanted to escape from. I mean, the, the, it was like a comedy in itself wasn't like the need for attention was right before that getting funny was the escape, right? Getting attention for being funny years before i was a comedian and and you know we we were all our funniest when we were like fucking 12 or 13

years old that was like the my my peak funny when i was 13 years old in the lunchroom with my fucking friends i mean i was fucking on and it was all downhill from there but that that need to be funny i think was sort of like an escape, you know, and the need for attention. I was in a band for a while and I've always, you know, you know, it's the things that I've chosen to do. They have like, you know, a lot of instant gratification. I was in sales for a while before I got into comedy. And it's like that. It's just the sort of gratification that I constantly need. It's a before I got into comedy. And it's like that it's just

a sort of gratification that I constantly need. It's a fucking endorphin drip that I constantly need. Otherwise I'll fall into a depression and want to fucking kill myself. But that's, you know, that was, you know, constantly hitting that endorphin drip, being a class clown, being a fucking knucklehead with my friends, you know, that was sort of like did it for me. And then it shifted to other things. Like I said, it's very satisfying doing sales and running the business side of this. It's very satisfying. You know, if we, if we, you know, have something good happen for the business, for the podcast network,

for the festival and, you know, there's something extremely rewarding with that, you know, and, and that, you know, those, everything sort of all feeds this need for fucking, you know, to be hugged by our mothers. We're not going to get it. So. Right. You know, absolutely. You know, need for fucking you know to be hugged by our mothers we're not going to get it so right you know uh absolutely you know you talk about a need for an escape and uh and that's something i can totally relate to uh how uh how how much of your childhood goes into what you do uh you mean like by stand-up or like just anything, everything, just anything.

I mean, it's, yeah, it's all, I'm still, I, I, I don't, I don't remember ever thinking differently than I do. Like I feel like when I was seven, I had the same thought pattern, the thought process that I do now. Like, I don't like, I never really believed in Santa Claus or the fucking Easter Bunny. You know, I just like I was aware I was hyper aware of my family being poor. I knew that my dad was stabbed to death when I was like I like I knew all this shit when I was when it happened. You know, and I protect my kid like my kid thinks that is great.

My father, he thinks my his grandfather was in a car accident because i don't think it should be thrown onto that heavy should be thrown onto a eight-year-old or a nine-year-old you know absolutely not the world's gonna hit him in the face at one point so um you know we we all carry our childhood you know with us in a lot of ways and um you know i i i've just i, I've always been this guy. I'll tell you one time I, um, like I've just had, like, I've had this business sense for a long time. Like, this is just when I was like eight years old, my son's age, maybe nine, but maybe eight. Honestly, I was, I was really young.

My mom was at work one day and our neighbor, uh, on Benson street and West Havasu, New York, our neighbor died. Right. Right. And you know, whatever, we didn't even even know who he was but one of the other kids in the neighborhood was like yo they're putting all of this guy's furniture out in the garbage like everything from the house because he's got no like family to take it right so we went over there we took all of the shit and then we just walked it over to my yard and we had a yard sale. We sold all this dead guy shit. And we didn't, you know, we didn't have a price yet, but there was like a nice couch.

We put, you know, a little tag on it for five dollars, like really, like really nice shit. Like we just wanted to get rid of it. So we made like one hundred dollars in the day. We got rid of everything, you know, and that was one of my first. Like just whatever that was, whatever, like just from conceptualizing it to executing it, to reaping the benefits of it and buying candy with my friends. Like it got me, it really, really, really got me. And it was, you know, uh, you know, it was an important lesson for who I am today. Cause you know, I think of that there's, and I've always been, I've been the kid with the,

the iced tea sand and the lemonade sand. And, you know, I would rate people's, and I've always been, I've been the kid with the iced tea stand and the lemonade stand. And, you know, I would rate people's yours. I've always been that kid, but that was such a successful like endeavor that I think it really, it clicked. It reminds me of my, my, my niece and my son, I have a six year old niece as well. But when I first moved to Jersey, you know, two falls ago, it was like a, it was an October and they wanted to do an iced tea stand, but we decided instead, cause it was the fall. We're going to do a hot apple cider stand. Right.

And we're going to sell hot apple cider in front of the house. Right. Good idea. And yeah, yeah, it was great. And they had little hot apple cider muffins and no donuts. They had a little hot, hot apple cider donuts, and they were selling them for a buck a piece and they just weren't getting any business. Right. We weren't getting any business. And I just started seeing there were these kids they were six and seven years old and or five and seven years old and i just saw they were getting dejected and uh i was like fuck these

kids can't fail because i thought back to my story as a kid and it was like no i was like they got a fucking this has to be a win for them because this could set them off on a trajectory for their lives not believing in their own ability to sell themselves yeah right something and i think it's really important so i went around the corner and i found this fucking cute black chick and i was like hey could you i was like i'll give you a couple bucks can you just go and buy some hot apple cider from these kids and you know she can't she's like no don't worry but i'll just buy it she thought it was adorable and she came over and bought some and the these kids their eyes fucking lit up it was like you just saw, they were like, this works.

And then they were so into it. They're jumping up every time they saw people, they were waving them over. And sure enough, boom, the business was boom. And they made like 20 bucks in the afternoon. And it was this great experience. And I was really glad to sort of share that with them. And I just thought it was really important. I don't know.

I think you need, I think it's the ability to get in somebody's face and to try to fucking sell them something and to be able to do in somebody's face and to try to fucking sell them something. And to be able to, to do that is a really important skillset to have, even if you don't want to get into sales or even if you're not getting into the entertainment business where you have to constantly sell yourself, it's just something that you should understand how to do, because I believe that everybody is just constantly selling themselves and

we're constantly in a battle of either being sold to or being sold. So, yeah, sorry, I went on off a little. No, that's all right. I really believe that. Do you think the kids would have liked that you cheated for him? I think I'll tell my son the story one day. He'll appreciate it. Absolutely. Yeah, he will.

So what do you got coming up next? What are you going to be doing next? I've got some gigs I'm in Lexington, Kentucky The 13th to the 15th of January And then at the end of the month 21st, 22nd I'm at Connecticut

Funny Bone Hartford Funny Bone So I've got some gigs coming up Me and Zach Kamiko from The Real Ass Podcast Anthony Zenhauser is another great guy who's coming on the road with me. And yeah, I'm just fucking trying to write new shit, dude. Just trying to, you know, it's weird because I don't go up in New York City anymore. You know, we were getting up in New York.

You get up a lot. You get to try new shit. But I don't really like going in unless I have to. So I've been trying to write on the road more. And just I try to write on the podcast. You know, I say shit on the podcast. And then we listen back to it and try to, you know, like, oh, that could work as a bit. And we try to pull from there. And, you know, it's sort of the new way that I have been trying to come up with shit. Yeah, that happened to me a lot with Stern. I would listen back and come up with new shit for stand up.

Yeah, it's great. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I'll tell you, man, I say more power to you. I think what you got going on is definitely unique. And how long do you think you can see yourself doing legions of skanks? I don't know, man, until they make a stop. I don't know, man, until until they make a stop. I don't know. You know, like I think it's going to turn into a and it's going to turn into algorithms and they're going to, you know, YouTube and iTunes and Instagram. We're not going to be able to say a lot of the words that we say now,

even like even, you know, faggot or retarded shit like that, where it's like that's still, in my opinion, pretty mild. Like, right. It's like, you know, any like, you know,aggot or retard shit like that where it's like that's still in my opinion pretty mild like right i don't know it's like you know any like you know any look you're not getting snl if you say faggot on a podcast but it's just in my opinion it's just not you know i don't think it's career damning but i think it will be and i think all this shit lives on the internet and i think as we're going down a path where um you know we're you're not going to be able to host the stuff on the Internet. That's what's going to happen. That's where they're going to really change it, is when iTunes says faggot, if you say it, it automatically will be flagged.

You'll automatically get bumped off of it. And when we can't be the podcast we want to be, it probably will be time to put it to bed. You know, we'll still do comedy. We'll still do other podcasts. But that podcast, it's supposed to be offensive It probably would be time to put it to bed. You know, we still do comedy. We'll still do other podcasts, but that podcast, it's supposed to be offensive. We're supposed to talk about fucked up things. We're supposed to say the most fucked up things possible.

So, yeah, I think that will be the final nail in the coffin is when the technology catches up because we have great sponsors. We have great fans. You know, we have a pretty solid, you know, base. And most 99% of the people that listen to our show or heard our show anybody hears it goes oh they're being fucking knuckleheads they're kidding there's no hate in anything we say

we're not right trump supporting fucking nazis like they like to paint you as anything they love to politicize these things um but people get what we do for the most part but i think eventually we're gonna not be able to um we're not gonna be able to host the show the way we want to because of technology. But we'll say. Did you ever have a sponsor say, no, you can't do that? Yeah, we lose sponsors here and there. You know, we just lost a sponsor. We had a thing with a fucking chick from TikTok.

We were making fun of her. She had a video that went viral. Right. And we're making fun of it. It had millions of views. Right. And, you know, it was a fucking cute chick doing a dance. But it was it was ridiculous. She her her husband cheated on her, essentially. And she wrote a book about it. And we were just kind of making fun of her.

Be like, all right, he wins. We got much time. So it was dumb. We go into it and we're going down this path. And like, you don't realize there's other people on the other end of this stuff. The Internet makes everyone so connected now. It's like you're just a couple clicks away from talking to that person. Right. So obviously she hears about this and she comes back at us and she tries to start like, you know, trashing us in kind of a funny way, but it doesn't really work. And then we start to go back at her and then it just got out of control.

Then the fans are saying fucked up shit to her. And then her people are contacting our sponsors. And yet we ended up losing a sponsor, which it didn't matter because like you can't quantify the losses like you gotta think about this think about all the sponsors already you specifically right that they don't even they don't say oh yeah we're not going to work with already they just go oh yeah we're going to pass right now if they're not they don't say why whatever it is right but essentially they go yeah already says crazy shit he's been around for a long time he's a controversial guy right so they they don't work with you that's the same exact thing as a person working with me and then leaving me you know you

just it's just you it feels worse it feels like an attack it feels like you're losing stuff but i have people that say no because of content for legion of skanks every single day we contact people and like hey do you want to check it out they hear it and they go no fucking way right but we're not like we don't feel so attacked because of it um so yeah we have sponsors that are not cool with and we have sponsors that you know kurt metzger he you know he's on my network he got in trouble he made a joke about the armenian genocide right just a the most mundane stupid fucking joke you could possibly imagine it was just nothing it was the dumbest joke ever right it was something like uh um he's like you know some people say the romanian genocide didn't happen he's like that's crazy he was like

i'm saying it happened and it was justified that's what he said oh god just something it was it was a stupid throwaway it was on a podcast It was nothing to be thought about. Right. It was just such a dumb joke. These Armenian people get up in arms. Right. And they fucking start freaking out. These are contacting gas digital, the network, and they start demanding. And by the way, it's three people. Then they keep on creating different dummy email addresses and using bots to send different emails. But if you take a second to just, and I was on the other end of it, I'm watching it laughing, going like, look at these idiots. It's very obvious what's happening. But other companies, they freak out. They get five emails. They go like, this is crazy.

What's going on? The sky's falling. It doesn't really, it's not real. It's just very dumb. It's just a couple of bored kids that want to get some attention. Right. But one of the sponsors,

what's funny is because they started contacting these Armenian people, started contacting the Kardashians, trying to get some attention right um but one of the sponsors what's funny is because they started contacting um these armenian people started contacting the kardashians trying to get them against because they're armenian because they're armenian so they're trying to get that some more heat on this and the one sponsor hit us up and they said if kim kardashian or any of the kardashians mentioned this publicly that they would bonus kurt metzger twenty thousand dollars so that's the type of sponsors we're dealing with would they get it like they really really get it they're fans of the content first more than half our sponsors are the the people who run the companies are fans of

the content and they want to be involved with this type of content and you know it's look cancel culture has always been around like you know maryland manson couldn't fucking play giant stadium if you remember back in the day you know what they then or they tried to get in bands from giant stadium they wouldn't it was like a big controversial thing but there's a bunch of venues that won't let them come into town or you know nwa or they i mean you know people they lost sponsorship deals and they lost television deals and they got fired from radio shows and it was kind of cool we that's the guys that i like the guys that I looked up to. I was like, oh, yeah, they're getting fired from their fucking jobs.

How cool is that? Right. And then I get into a position where I lose a little bit of money, and it feels like the fucking walls are caving in. Well, listen, Lewis, I'm a fan of what you do, and I say keep going, man. Keep it up. And so, again, Legion of Sk skanks you could listen to that where

uh it's gas digital network.com is is my network that's the premium side so if you guys subscribe to it as a premium member you guys get uncensored episodes ad free you get the entire on-demand library for all the shows so we have over 600 episodes that aren't available anywhere else we're not on itunes or youtube So the latest 20 episodes are on iTunes, but I have that show real ass podcast and yo MMA rap. They're all three on the network. So you can get them all in one place, one website and you don't have to subscribe.

You can listen to the shows for free. You can just go to the website and listen to the latest episodes and watch the latest episodes for free as well. Right. Well, thanks Lewis. Thanks for doing this, man.

And I'll talk to you soon. All right. You're the man. Thank you so much, brother. Thanks buddy. We'll be right back. Bye.