Asmongold TV - Game journalists hate this game.. so I tried it myself | Asmongold TV

Episode Date: December 13, 2025

Game journalists hate this game.. So I tried it myselfAsmongold podcast for all of his stream highlights, competitions, reactions & more. ------------------------------- ------ Keywords: streamer podcast, gaming hot takes, twitch clips, game reviews, asmongold Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where Wins Meet is an amusement park where every ride is being run at half speed. And the sugar retrieves at the concession stands come with piles of paperwork to complete before you can shout down. A six. For more action, check out our reviews of- They gave it a six? I cannot believe Concord rating is bigger than this. The combat was slow, followed by, yeah, he chose to play as a tank and mainly used the slowest weapon types. And he had auto parry on, too.

That's what somebody said. People, it's free to play. try for yourself. Man sounds bored as hell to even get with the review. The reviewer sounds like he's bored by his own voice. Why does this guy have literally zero energy? They gave it six out of ten. Too much wind.

Oh, wow. Oh, it's unpacking. Oh, shit. All right, let's get it. Let's try this game out. Who's that? Jingyang. They have horses in China.

Oh, I got to fight this guy. They do. Ew. Okay. That's right. Here to take you in. At the end of the road. A drink to wet your throat.

Well, how is it? Bland. Okay. Springs Bounty and Jiangnan taste sweet. Shall we go together? Ooh. Ooh, gay. Worried on my account?

Don't be. The cowards probably wouldn't dare. Uh-oh. Damn. Already getting into the combat. Alright, let's do it. Oh wait, what I thought was with. Wait, is this me?

Oh, it's me! I can move around. Okay, let's go. We gotta run. Okay. Damn. After them. After that.

They're here. I had to dodge that. Gotcha bitch. What do you want me to do now? Ooh! I stabbed that bitch. You're all one to talk. Still inviting me to Jung nod.

Oh, this looks nice. Look that. Jump. I kind of wanted to not jump to see what would happen. They even brought out the fire cannons. Okay. Uh, hold, oh. Uh, hold, oh, I can shoot him.

Okay. Oh, it slows you down. Oh, that's cool. Oh, nice. Well, that's kind of cool. Okay. A thousand damage. It's probably, is like, out.

Ooh, ooh. Oh. Should I shoot this guy? Nice. Even the Oriup Pavilion takes interest. Oh, I kill him. Oh, shit. Damn!

I'm popping them off! Okay, get out of here, bitch! I don't know if I'm supposed to do this or not. I'm just doing it anyway. Okay, let's go. Nice. Reload. I don't have to. Oh. Okay.

Damn, I got the baby. Who's this big gangly dick sucker? The Void King. Marget? I don't know. Let's find out. This is getting interesting. Just like old times. We, this guarantee can be combat. I'm gonna have to fight this guy.

It's like a tutorial boss. Yeah, 100% of this. Okay, let's do it. Start tutorial. Okay. Basic attack. Let me guess. Oh, wait, wait.

I was just hitting buttons. Okay. I was a side of martial arts skills. Okay. Okay. Nice. All right. Cool.

Is there a jump attack? Can I jump? Mystic skills may vary? Okay. Okay, mystic skills. Okay, let's use my mystic skill. Oh, damn, that did five. Okay, what, two? I can throw a barrel at him? What about this? I can do fire at him for A.O.E?

Oh, go out at the four. Big stick. Damn! Defense. Bitch. Stupid. Dumbass. There you go.

I'm trying to figure this out. Oh, you got out here, bitch. Okay, that's kind of cool. All right, Baldi's watch, press X. All right. Press E just before your... Ooh, it deflect. Oh.

Okay, so gold is... Why can't... Okay, this is the one thing that I wish that every video game would do. White should be pariable. Red should be unpariable. This should just be an industry standard for every video game always.

That's it. Because now, now, okay, so red is pariable, but gold isn't pariable. All right, now we got to earn a new color thing. Got it. Yeah, okay, do it. Yeah, that's pretty simple. Okay.

Yeah, I play games like this. Assist deflection. Okay, so this is for dick-sucking retards. We're not going to use that. Oh, this is I'm on fire. Okay. Enable assist. No.

No. Assist deflection. Okay. I'm gonna just get around them. The Void King. I gotta change my key bindings. So, I wanna let you know, every single one of those was me hitting the wrong button.

I was hitting the wrong button. Okay. Heal on X? Wait, what? Okay. All right, alright, alright, I'm ready. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. Heels on X, okay. Okay, there it is, there it is.

Okay, what about, well, about fire, fire, can I do fire? Get out of here, bitch. Oh, who are we going in on them now? Is that my fire? There it is. Oh, oh, carry that. What's going on, bit? Oh, what's going on?

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Mad? I'm gonna bring in the barrel. Where's the barrel? What? What are you doing? Try to hit me. I don't know how it hit me.

I do. actually a do know how it's because i hit the wrong button i'm gonna do the fire there it is oh that one ability's really good okay all right all right i'm trying i'm trying to learn okay is there a way by the way can i pause how do i pause how do i pause how do i pause the game escape i can't doesn't let me because i just wanted to be able to rebind keys that's all p doesn't let me do anything i can't go to settings how do i go to my settings Tab, maybe? The...

Okay, all right. Can I change anything else? This is fine, but like, I just want to know... It doesn't even let me change my key bindings. I can't even change my... After the tutorial. So I've got to learn... So I have to muscle memory the wrong key bindings.

Okay. I just got to beat them. That's all. All I have to do, I just have to beat them. We're just going to go in there. We're going to beat them. Let's go. Anytime I get hit, it's because of the wrong key binding.

Just see you guys know I don't want anybody to get the wrong idea I think it was my fault Alright we have the barrel There it is I don't know how it hit me Okay There it is

Okay X for heel Yeah I know it's all right Bro heel I thought I hit the button It didn't work It's all right I'm learning I'm trying to learn the game bro

Yeah I'm fine I feel like I'm doing pretty well honestly Oh big dick damage I could get around that Okay, okay, okay, let me heal. Oh wow, way I can full heal? Wait, what? Wait, so I can full heal ten times? Oh, what the hell am I doing? This shit's easy. I'm my hand with the barrel. Why is he? Do it, see what happens. Okay, that's what happens. All right, he got me a number of those times, but that's okay. All right, now we do fire again. Okay, so now I can just heal again.

Wait, do I just heal the full? Wait, so I just heal the full again. This shit's easy. Damn! What fuck! Probably because HP is a little at start. Ah, shit was easy. We gotta fight him again.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. He bugging out, phase two. That's fine. I got seven heels. I'm ready for that. I just want to change my key bindings, that's all. I just want to change my damn key bindings. Are you guys the same as me where you have a designated key bind for everything for every game? Yeah, like every, every game like Perry is like my other, my quick, right?

My heavy attack is one thing. Who is it? Wait, what? How does he have the sword in his? Oh, damn. He sacrificed himself. Damn, 1692. So that other guy is like dead or some shit, right?

What do I have to click on this? What is this is this before or after? Oh, I bet that's the kid. Junkhu. Yeah, those merchants passing through Jingha told me all kinds of things. It sounds so fun! There's the eight talents of Hodong, the North Alliance, and lots of new sex too! Oh, wow.

Oh, I heard some can use moves from every side. Where the ho's at? They were put in the wool and journal and became heroes in this young who. Are these like the different factions in the game? As long as I keep practicing, I know I can. Help join you, Uncle Jung. Just like the heroes in the merchant store. So you have four girls and a femboy.

Two femboys. I don't think you want to touch that. Nice. Oh shit, okay. Alright, now I get to make my guy. Okay, so body type one, body type. Okay, so male and female. Okay, good.

Well, I'm obviously going to be a guy. Realistic, elegant. Okay, I'm going to, I guess, make it realistic. And smart customization, record your voice to generate a character based on that voice. Okay. Oh, I don't have a mic on this one. Fuck, I don't have a mic on this PC.

Oh. Yeah, I don't have a mic. I'm serious. I don't have one. What about image? upload your wait Give me a minute

It says upload But before I do that I want to make sure that I'm not It's not going to show like a QR code So Let me make sure that I don't do that

Okay upload image Camera and photo permission Explained okay confirm To save Okay upload Okay so Okay so it's just an image right Yes

Okay it's just an image All right Had something Mike? No, I have a two PC set up. It's very confusing. Okay. I just want to make sure I have everything sorted. Wait, now it doesn't let me. Oh, no, no, no, no, we're good. Okay. All right. This is for my digital ID. So I need a picture that will make sense. So, Asmon, I'm going to search Asmengold. Okay. What image should we use here? So I could just use this one because I want to have my guy have long hair.

So why don't we go with this one? Okay. All right. Why? Why? This one's fine, right? Like, what's wrong with this one? One's okay.

Okay. Give me a minute. No, I'm trying to do this. I want to make it, I want to do it the right way. Everybody's trying to mess me up. Save it as a PNG. Okay. Long dick.

Okay. And I'm going to. And now we're gonna try to upload this. It's under review. Wait, what? What mean under review? Image doesn't meet the requirement. Wait, what?

What mean it doesn't meet the requirements? What the fuck does that mean? Okay, what about this one? Uh, I fucking open image a new tab. Oh, the image is too small. It's, I'm too ugly. Wait, wait, I'm too ugly. in order for it to work.

Oh, maybe you're right. That could be it. Okay, let me try. All right, we're going to think of another one. And how about, ah, Jesus. The cowboy one? No, I don't know about that.

Okay, let me just think of an average picture. Okay, how about that? I'm just going to find whatever photo I can. Actually, this one looks like I look better in this one. Okay, I actually don't look better. Okay, accept this. All right, good. Okay, just give me a minute.

Okay, what the fuck is this? No, I continue without registering. No, I don't want to do that. I thought that was something else. Oh, my God. Okay, I got one. Okay, let me see what this one is. Image doesn't meet requirements.

Okay, let's try another one. Asmon Gold. Okay, images. How about this one? Okay. We're just going to go with any of them that we can. All right? Save image.

desktop, okay. Oh, that's a WebP file. Let me just, let me, let me just create my own for this because it could be problematic. Okay, and next, new. Okay, control V, cut that down, save as, PNG, Long Dick 2. Okay, and uploading this image. Oh, my God. Crop just your face.

Okay, alright, we'll do... Wait a minute. Oh, I guess if... So if I wanted to, I could just do my Twitter profile picture then, right? Okay, let's do that. What the fuck? It's gotta be a JPEG. Okay.

Uh... All right, save as... JPEG properties. Okay, this is the JPEG one. Ah, damn it! Okay, give me a minute. May it make it smaller? Has anybody got this thing?

this thing to work. Crop it better. Okay. All right. We're going to crop it better. Give me a minute. Okay. There we go. All right. Save as. Long, Dick, 3. Okay. Why doesn't this? Why does this not work? This is, okay, let me try a picture of another person.

I'm going to try a picture of another person. Just find some other random person. How about Elon Musk? Okay. No, we're going to try. I just want to try somebody and see if it's just me. Because my, my hypothesis is that it doesn't think I'm a real person. No.

Okay. Do Trump? Try an image where you're looking straight at the camera. Check requirements. Where does it say requirements? It says import customization data, F1, intro. pose background try on space apply it doesn't say anywhere there it's broken okay i'm going to try two more and then if that doesn't work we're going to have to make the character okay guys

we're going to have to do it okay that's going to be number one and now we're going to try number two let's see if i can find it okay that should be fine this is a close-up of my face Alright We now have two images Use a Chinese guy There's no way it's only going to work with Asian people I'm absolutely going to try that Chinese guy

Alright we've got one All right All right we've saved it There's no way this works right There's no way Okay okay to be fair It would have been really funny if it worked but it did not All right

So yeah apparently it just doesn't work thumbnails won't work well none of them really seem to work yeah I don't know let me go back I'll see if I can find for this you need to take a photo as centered and frontal as possible so the AI can best recognize your features nah bro like nah nah nah nah like gallery

okay these are yeah these are fine who's that oh my god Okay, um, great. So we can't... Jesus. One of a... recommended. Okay, all time. Well, I guess it doesn't really matter, doesn't. Um, designer favorites. Wow. So, it looks like I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to make the character myself, okay? Search for Asmon. Wait, really? Can I do that? Okay, can you guys make... Can anybody upload a character? and then just put it and put it for Asmon Gold, okay? Here, here. I want to see if it'll work, okay, guys?

Yeah, just do Asmond Gold, all right? Use your phone. No, no, no, I'll give it five minutes, okay, guys, try phone selfie. I've tried that before, it doesn't work. People said the image jam is bad. Is it really? Let me see what it says. Image in is bad. You need to adjust a lot afterwards. Yeah, well, that's probably, if it looks like me, it's going to be pretty bad, right? and so oops uh okay all right let me search again guys

here try a higher res image i've done that before making a picture of yourself looking straight at the camera i don't think it's gonna matter you can do a recording of your voice yes that's what i hear hurry up guys i've got to try this out try some other streamers no i don't want to do all that i'll give it like maybe uh two more minutes okay

so after her facial recognition is It didn't work for Annie either? Really? Okay. Want to just try it though? Just in case? Because I don't feel like it. It's the reason. Because I don't want to. Okay. So it's not gonna work. Um, all right. I'm gonna have to make my own character. Okay. So what are we gonna start with? So no. I think we're probably gonna end up going with this guy, right? I think that we all know that. We're gonna go with him.

Okay. No. No. Maybe this one. I think there's a pretty obvious one that we're going to go with here, right? And so import customity. Okay, so let's go to more. Wait, more.

Is that it? Okay. I'm just trying to figure this out. And then next step. Okay. Face shape. Oh, my God. Okay.

I don't need to change all of this. The thing is that they don't have a generic. white guy. So let me first start with my hair. Okay? Where's my hair? So there's only a handful of hairstyles. Let's look at them. This one's decent. All right. Um, that one's okay. That's kind of like what my hair would look like if I had any. Um, no. Emo hair. Okay, that's decent. Uh, it looks like he got to, Bro, what is? It looks like he dipped his head in clay.

I think we're gonna just, we're just gonna go with this one, right? We're gonna go with this one. It seems like a good idea. It looks kind of, yeah. I mean, this is kind of like, you know, I guess kind of what my hair would kind of look like. But otherwise, uh,

if I had a better hair line, obviously. So let's go over and wait, can you change? What about facial hair? Okay. Overall head. Okay. I have a pretty big forehead.

So I'm going to move this up a bit. Okay. Actually, that's a bit too big. My forehead's not that big. Okay, mid-face length. Okay. I have a pretty long face, too. So we're going to go with 95 for here.

Zoom. Okay. Maybe like right here. Width. Pretty narrow face also. About like right. About there, I'd say. Yeah, sure.

Five, you said. No, I think this is accurate. Okay, forehead. Oh, geez. Okay, let's do it at 95, okay? How about 95? And this is, I'm just... Okay, we're just gonna keep that there width.

Okay, I'll just keep that where it was. Should be fine. Length. I don't think that really does anything. Okay, sides of forehead. Wait, does that mean... Okay, I don't know really how much I can change with this. Spacing.

Oh, he's got a big head, okay. That doesn't really matter. Okay. That doesn't really matter either. This doesn't matter. Can you change the way your character looks? I have a pretty thin face, so we're going to do that. Maybe not quite.

Okay, about right there. Yeah, can you change the way it looks afterwards or not? Where foreheads meet? Shut the fuck up. Okay, probably not. I bet you can. Okay, all right, good. All right, we're just going to start with something.

Gabella. What? Right there? Yeah, it's good. Okay. Um... It looks like a fucking... who looks like a fucking idiot? Looks like a goddamn retard. Okay. You got a lot on your mind. Yeah, I do. Okay. Uh, about zoom. Okay, so, uh, then we'll do like, maybe like this, and then length. Okay. Uh, I don't think that really matters. a lot. Let's go with this. Okay. Angle, uh, let's do like, like, maybe like that.

I don't know. Is that... This is, this is so fucked, man. This is so fucked. It's... Because if you look at it, it looks like he's got a fucking... It's like somebody put a dent on his forehead. Uh... We can't have that.

I think I fucked up. Really, I think I fucked up with a forehead. Okay. Like, why is it that there's a massive dent on his forehead? Okay, well, let me see. Okay, uh, I guess, um, it's probably about like right there, height as well. Uh, about like right here, I would say front to back. Uh, I'd say somewhere around there. Okay, that's good. This doesn't really look like me that much, but, you know, it's an Asian guy.

So, uh, you know, somebody's got, there's not, there's not a generic John Wins. that I can go with and like base things off of. So I'm basically just gonna be Asian now, okay guys. That's just how it is. Fulness, okay, uh, we'll probably go to like right about here. Okay, that should be good. Yeah, alright, so, okay, oh my god, look at all this. Holy shit, we're not gonna deal with any of this.

I don't give a shit about any of this stuff. I wanna play the game. All right, so, uh, the jaw line, I guess I can change that a little bit. Uh, let's see here. I have a pretty thin drawline. two, height. Uh, let's see, probably about like right there. Front to back.

Uh, let's see. How does that change? Uh, probably about like right there, I'd say. Zoom. Okay. Fix the nose. Okay, give me a minute. Relax.

Where is the nose? It doesn't say anything. Okay, jaw angle. What the hell is a jaw angle? Uh, I'm gonna go like, probably about like right there, I'd say. Yeah, it should be good. Height. Okay.

I'd say probably about like right Like right there, I'd say Yeah, okay And he looks angry, yeah, he does Okay, uh Well, I don't want to fuck around with this too much Where's the makeup? Okay, all this is fine Sets? What that was a set?

No, no, I... How... What? How do I turn this off? Shit! Right is undue. I was scared there for a minute. We're okay. All right. Okay, so facial accessories.

Okay, um... He got a flower on his forehead. The cat? Oh, bro, like, what's this dumb ass? Oh. Oh! Oh, geez. Okay, no, we're not gonna go with this.

Oh, that looks kind of cool. Okay, it looks like he hasn't slept at all. That's good. Should I just put dirt on him? Should you just be dirty? Oh, I can have blood on his face. It looks badass. Yeah, let's go with that.

No, I don't like it. Oh, that looks cool too. Yeah, let's go with that. Okay, and, okay, now go back to makeup. Okay, facial hair. All right, here we go. Here's facial hair. All right, I was looking for that.

I didn't think that would be in makeup, okay? So, no. I feel like this is probably about it, right? I feel like these are Why is it that almost every single game I feel like this one's probably better Yeah Yeah I think we go with this one

Adjust Okay color I don't really care a lot about that Oh there's one more No we're not gonna go with that Okay so scroll down bottom roll No that's it that's it's all it is Okay um let's see They're not really in the facial hair.

Okay, so lips, ears, nose, okay. Oh my God. I'm going to be honest, guys. I am not going to spend an hour min-maxing my nose. I'm not. I'm not. This is good enough, okay? I'm going to make it a little bit thinner, and then we're going to stop.

Okay. Overall nose, size. I have a small nose. Tilt. Okay, I'm not going to change that at all. Okay, angle. Okay, well, that's front to back. Damn.

Okay, let's do like probably about like right there. I think that's probably good. Yeah, it's decent. Okay, good. Bridge category. I don't know about that. Nostrils. Okay, width.

Okay, I have a very, very small nose. So we're going to do that. turn all that down and wait why is it that this is a little bit upsetting that

oh Jesus Christ it's it's about right at 20 isn't it oh my God oh my oh my God Jesus this is bad

this is really bad and increased bridge thickness yeah yeah okay Uh, nose bridge. Okay, with... Oh. Alright, guys. I think that we've done it.

Wow. Okay. So, um, I don't know really what else to say, other than, I think we're ready to go, huh? And, uh, color a beard should be brown. That's okay. It doesn't matter. I'll change... I'll get all that stuff men maxed later on. It's not a big deal. It's okay. You're just an ugly motherfucker. Ha ha ha. Okay, thanks, man. Appreciate that. And all right. So I think that's about it. Um, you know, maybe make this one. Oh, it didn't even do anything. Okay. So yeah, yeah, that should be fine. Adjust the hairline. It actually doesn't let you do that, okay? So ears, literally nobody cares. Lips, literally nobody cares. Oh, my, oh my God. No, no, no, absolutely not. Okay. Eyes, oh, I guess I'll change the eye color. Okay, overall. eyes, overall eyeball. Where's the eye color? Where does it show eye color? Shouldn't it? Overall eyeball. Makeup? Eyebrows. Pup. Okay. All right. I'll make it dark brown.

Okay. That should be good. Uh, yeah, that's, that's decent, right? Okay. And, you can have butterfly eyes oh god that could be a witcher too oh geez imagine making your character look like this you're fucking retard you're just like a straight up fucking retard

okay uh I guess we'll go with this uh actually I got a bigger eyes so we'll start with that and then we'll go to brown okay I'm trying to get it to work okay guys Yeah, that's

I guess that's fine Alright That's good enough Gentlemen, I think that we have created our character Okay It's not perfect But I don't want to spend 40 fucking minutes doing this Okay guys

Eyebrows, oh God What do you want? Do you change the eyebrows to? They're not Can I change the thickness? Hair flow Oh my, okay If somebody wants to make me a character that looks exactly like me, I will use it tomorrow.

Because I really hope this game's going to be good so I can play it multiple days, right? So if you guys want, you can make a character like that, and then everybody in the community can upvote it. And that'll be it. Okay, guys? So that should be fine, all right? As Mongolian, I guess so. All right, that should be fine.

Perfect. Okay, we have our guy. This is our guy. upload to the gallery Publishing, please wait Asmon Gold description Please help me

Okay Post left today Okay And publish All right Your work has been submitted All right So I've done it

And now we have Let's look at my outfit Okay let's see what the outfit possibilities are So we have our loser Other loser Luser hat, loser with a hair bun. Kind of a fucking idiot

dresses like this. Uh, okay, this is... Okay, this is a guy, it's like Doctor Strange. Ooh, I kind of like that. Oh. I'm like an Asian Nasgul. Oh, shit.

I kind of like that. That's good. I'm dripped out. Yeah, an Asian? You're true. Okay, let's look at some other ones. Um... Okay. I hate to say it, guys, but I really feel like this is just far and away the best one. This is far and away the best one.

This is so cool. Yeah, you guys agree with that, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, background, literally nobody cares. Okay, pose. Okay, that's fine. Duo pose. Okay, I don't care about that.

All right, let's complete that. That should be fine. Okay There's a lot of pose Oh my God Look at all these Okay Um I

Wait wait wait Wait wait wait Because I don't know if this is gonna make me If it's like a default animation And I'm playing a flute right Like I don't want to have that Okay Let's go

Confirm Oh I see my reflection Oh Oh! Did I have to fight this guy? When do I get to change my key bindings? Does that happen? It's a she?

It's a girl? No. Oh no, it's the jade. Oh. All right, aspiration talent. Drunken precision, rhetoric edge in the pitch pot to gain the tipsy effect, shortening your aim time.

I think that's good, right? I think that's good. Okay, let's go. Wait, he stole my name! Oh. Oh. Classic, huh? Stole your shit coin?

Yeah. Should I make a crypto coin, guys? What do you think? Should I do it? What's a stupid girl? No? Okay, people say no, I won't do it then. Oh, okay, people would go to the general shrine.

Then he fell asleep. Well, she got her hair down. out like its cat ears. Shut up, bitch! Of course you're getting mad, you're a woman. Damn! This bitch is wild. Forget it. It's nothing.

Just a dream. You promise we journey together. You're not keeping secrets, are you? Uh-oh. Damn, bitch. Calm down. Beard Guang at the general shrine? Are we still going or not? For God.

It's all your fault. Come on, let's go. Uncle Guang said he's bringing me a new storybook this year. Okay. Okay. Don't take too long. Alright? Another new wig.

Can I attack her? No, she has a protective field. Okay, uh, let's see here. What is this here? Long pattern. Whoa, is that a secret code? This is some hero meathub's thought, isn't it? We're gonna see one for real.

The man in black took the jade pendant Uncle Zhang gave me. Maybe this has something to do with Uncle Jung. I should look inside. What you're looking for? I'll help. Ooh, is that a new weapon? I want a new weapon. Careful.

Oh, they even dug this up. Damn, look at that. Stabber. You could hurt yourself. Thank God. Oh, why, I thought she wasn't going to talk. Damn. Okay, what's this?

What did I get? Oh, I got a box. Check table? Okay. Ritual crown. What the hell is that? What's it? Ooh.

There's a hidden drawer. Death note. I noticed that before. A letter to Uncle Zhang from someone named Wei. Go to the what, yeah, true. Telling Uncle Zhang to find Chenying. That's a good point. But he never mentioned the person who wrote this letter or Chenying either.

I'll keep it with me. It might hold a clue to Uncle Zhang's whereabouts. Looks like someone has moved to the spirit tablet. Oh no. So can I change my fucking key bindings now? Can I please change my fucking key bindings? Okay, controller. Who the fuck uses a controller?

Nobody uses controllers. Where are... Replace melee, game, display, other in-game menus. Oh my God, look at all this stuff. The first page? Is it really first page? There's no way it was on the first page.

it was on the first page so okay um e okay so i need to figure out okay move forward lightness skill okay just fucking i don't want to just okay never mind cancel okay wins sense medicine are heavy attack and charge skill okay confirm Okay, because my heel is always on R. My combat. What is a defense? Hold to continuously parry enemy attack. Wait, but I thought Perry was with, oh, it's deflect. Okay. Um, uh, I guess I'm going to put that as E. Oh, wait. No, no, cancel. Cancel, cancel. I'm big stupid. Sorry about this, guys. Okay, deflection. Yes. Confirming this. Defense. Number one, I don't even think that I should do defense. Confirm. Okay, good.

Yeah, like, because I'm never going to block. Like, realistically, I will never block. Okay. And unbind. Yeah, I only parry. Good player. Oh, heavy attack. Okay, uh, mouse.

Okay, that's pretty simple. Special. The squiggly boy? Who the fuck uses the squiggly boy? Okay, execute interact. Okay, E is for interact. confirm and defense i'm not even going to bind defense who cares we're never going to use that anyway okay so mystic skill switch to bow lock on okay all of that should be good right

i think we should just save save changes and switch to custom plan save some functions now have button bindings oh i don't have any bindings okay we don't need to we don't need to worry about that. Okay. All right. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I need to get a jump button, though. That's the only thing I need to get to. Okay, so, uh, okay, so show and hide mouse. Wait, I can't change this. I can't get rid of this. Cock sucker. Okay, I'm going to do shift. Okay. Let's save. All right, that's fine. Change FPS. Oh, oh, right, right. Okay, so let me look at. at display. FPS limit is v-sync. Oh, well, if it's v-syncing, that means it's already, it's already going to be at 165, because mine should already be at 165. So this is fine, right?

Motion borer is done-abled. Just turn it off, okay? I will turn it off, unrestrictioned. There we go. Oh yeah, it does look better. Okay, you guys are right. Is there a Sprint button? Sorry, this is probably annoying to watch. Is there Sprint? Where the fuck is Sprint? Dodge and Sprint.

Oh, okay. Okay, so it's like Dark Souls 1. Okay, got it. All right, let's go. Clint's Spirit Tab. Man in Black just took the jade pen in and didn't hurt me. He also left some kind of carved mark. Could this be connected to Uncle Chang?

No use guessing. I'd better ask on Han once I return Who's that bitch? Can I break through this? Okay, oh I can change my weapons too, right? Will Uncle Jung come back for the first chart banquet? Unable to attack this character? I can't kill the kid.

What a... What a pussy-ass game! Okay, can I cut this? Oh! Oh. Complete. Oh, I got to do extra ones. Okay.

Damn. Okay, now I know what to do. All right. So, boundary stone. Let me talk to the rock. Hello? Um, okay. I got 10 things.

Fine Ruby. Where is she? I found her. I'm not talking to you. I'm still mad. Let's go. Come on. Nothing to see here.

Let's head home. Uh-huh. Yeah. Are you trying to trick me so that you can find that warrior in black on your own? This bitch she gets mad. I was dreaming just now. You know I never lie to you. You do too lie.

You promise you've come with me to the general's shrine to get the new storybook from Beir-Guang. You know what's really upsetting about this? Is I've had a girlfriend that acted this way, but she was an adult. I'll have gone on my own and not covered for you with Auntie Han. How about this? We have to pass the general shrine on the way back anyway. I'll take you there to wait for the family. I, uh,

you'll be the first in line to guys in the storybook. Yeah, that's crazy, right? How about that? Many, wait, somebody says many such cases. Is that true? What's this big announcement, Auntie Han is going to make? No idea. Okay.

Maybe she'll grant me permission to learn martial arts in the jungle. Wait, martial arts. You just, okay, let's go. Wait, what's in the box? G. Wine jar. Okay. Okay.

Um, now what? Just jump over it. Why are you letting her? Go easy. Don't jump. Damn, he just lets the kid do this? You stupid fat bitch. Let me guess. I have to jump.

Oh my God. I knew it. I knew it. We need to head to the general shrine today. Next time. Let's go. Ooh, what's this? Hello?

Wait. Elucination. Defeat nearby poison butterflies. See that? I figured it out. That's what good players do. Is it a mandatory thing that every Asian video game has to have an annoying female companion that follows you around and tells you everything, obviously?

Is this a requirement for them all to have? It is. Okay. I didn't know, it was, so that's like part of the, it's like a government mandate. Okay. Oh, what's this? Oh, yeah, I can shoot birds. Yeah, we can.

I'm in a rush to get your storybook now, huh? What with that? Damn. He just popping in birds off, huh? Oh, let me loop Mr. Bird. Oh, the game looks pretty nice. Look at that. Yeah, I think this game utilizes a lot of life.

and stuff in order to make itself look better. If you actually zoom in and you look at the graphics, they're not insane, but they're okay. I'm gonna just kill this bird right here. Ha, fucking idiot! Wait. Well, I wasted a bunch of arrows. Oh shit.

Ero accuracy is also yet to be determined. I'll have to test them one by one. Am I gonna get a new bow? Practically two birds with one arrow. Nearly struck us both on the head. No, it wasn't. Two birds with one arrow. Oh, my apologies.

I didn't hurt you, did I? He's gonna help me how to do it. Are you then? What are you doing shooting birds in Tsingha? The name's Fong Zhisham. Disciple of the inkbound order. And I'm here in Shingha on official business. I merely wanted to try out my new bow and...

Can we kill him and take the bow? That one looks better than mine. Order. Hmm. Wow. That's one of those bigendari Jianghu hero? Oh, oh. Lots of swordsmen have come to Ting He lately.

Are you all after some sort of treasure? Yeah. Oh, maybe. The ink-bound order is indeed well known. But I'm merely a humble disciple. Far from worthy of being called the hero. Sorry to disappoint you, young lady. after all

should have known what kind of hero would be that bad with a bow and arrow it's fine we weren't hurt we should get going now just be more careful when taking test shots next time Wow Okay

Wait Master said the noble are never at fault Because all right Yeah She's sitting there talking shit the whole time I have a manuscript On archery techniques A secret tome of sorts

Please accept it as my apology A secret tomb Do I have to take it? Archery tips Archery tips What's that Yes A bit embarrassing to admit

But this book represents years of Tips. ...pcings chapter 3, which explores how applied force influences shooting range when the second phalanx is used to draw. And here, look at this. I think he has autism. Wait, did he just say, is that a secret book? Yeah, he does. What a nerd, I know. You've gotta take it.

You spent years on this, and you're simply giving it to us? That's far too great in a pocket. far too great an apology. Can we just read it? Inc.bound order are prohibited from attachment to material possessions. Go ahead and read it. If there's anything you don't understand, I'd be happy to explain. He's gonna teach me how to use the bow.

Okay. All right, so holding your breath. This technique is called still waters. Okay. Master it to achieve perfect stillness. Yeah, that's pretty fucking simple, bro. Like, still waters.

Okay. I mean, can I do this? Wait, how do I? I think I fucked up. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. What's all this? Holy shit. Oh my god. Oh my god. Jesus. Look at all the... Wow. We got a lot of stuff over there, huh? Okay. Um, talk to this guy. This is my first time passing on still waters. Shall we shoot at the birds by the cliff together so I can observe its Yes.

Ready. Okay. I gotta kill them birds. Okay. Trag to still water. Timing is beat. Track the bird's fly. And release at the right moment.

Over there. There's still more. What? What? What? Oh, I see. Okay. I'll get it. I get it.

Oh, what a dick sucker. sucker. If it wasn't for heroin, Ruby's house, we might have actually lost. What a loser dick sucker. There it is. I got now. It, uh, it. Seeing the two of you working together, I have indeed learned quite a bit. Yeah, I bet you did. Okay. No, you don't. You didn't press wine. I didn't need to. I need to.

Insights into archery research. Thanks to your instruction, my skill with the bow has advanced greatly. Actually, I am a war ward. Many unsavory characters have also come to Ching Ha. Even that dreaded killer blade. Who's that? I see. All these great heroes have gathered in Ting He.

Do we have to kill this guy? I bet we do. Uh, anyway, that villain heading south can't be for nothing. Countless have fallen by his blade. Young miss do not place your trust lightly in strangers. Uh-oh. Oh, don't worry. After all, he's no hero.

Me? I'm not a hero? Uh-huh. Killer Blade. Maybe the man in black has something to do with him? So I have to go, the guy's name is Killer Blade. All we can do is be on our guard. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Hey, be careful. Game looks really nice. I'll tell you that for sure. This even got birds in it. I wonder if it has fish. Oh wow. A pigeon of regret? What the fuck is that? Thank you for warning me about Killer Blade, Bigfong. Until next time. Oh, now I actually gotta get to move around. Okay. Let's go. Wait, wait, would I just walk up a wall?

Things have definitely been odd in Tsingha lately. Okay, well that makes things easy. Saying everything can wait until the first jarb banquet. Okay. Um, who are these guys? Oh, I see now. Headshot. Nice.

Okay. So, okay. Oh, it's got to execute. Oh. Damn. I got his ass real good. Damn! So I guess whenever the blue bar goes away,

that's whenever I can do that execute attack on him. Okay, that was pretty good. I gotta learn how to do this combat better. Okay, what's in the box? What did it give me? Level 2 Ebon. What was it? O.C is crouch.

Okay, what about I? Is I inventory? It's tab inventory. Okay, no. What about bag? Okay, didn't I get a helmet? Oh, look at this. Wow. Okay, well I feel like this one's blue, so it's better, right?

It has to be better. Okay, let's go down over here. Color grade looks nice. Yeah, the colors look good. Lude all these. Who's this, who's this idiot? Ah, you're the first person to talk to me in three days. I wish that was me. You can have this. Whirl map.

Well, how big is it? 0%. Uh-oh. World activities. Okay. Expans exploration details here. Oh, damn. Okay.

So this isn't, that's not too big. This isn't, yeah, that's not crazy. Okay, the game's not huge. What do you think? I don't think. For three days, I called out to passersby, but you are the only one to stop. This item belongs to you. It's bait.

By the way, I have a new item, tutorial zone? Wait, what? What do you mean? What do you mean? What does you want? Pay, $50? I'm going to buy it. I'm going to buy.

Here you go. Wait, you're actually going to give me the money. Yeah, I am. You wouldn't be one of those well of heaven's saints, would you? Yeah, I am. I'm a saint. Well of heaven. Who's that?

Oh, you're not. Well, the way you throw money around, you might as well be. Take this copy of Wu Lin Journal. It is faded to be yours. Woo Lin, who's that? What do you mean faded? I paid good money for this. Damn true.

Yeah, you're right. Good fortune is hard to buy. Even with piles of gold. Wife read over such worldly things. Kind wanderer. Please do one last favor. When you leave, drive away that black bear too. In the future, if you meet others of my order, say,

ends of the earth. You see him right there? And they'll give you maps of the world. So, wait a minute. Did I just pay this guy to have to kill a bear? What the fuck is this? Search for the bear. Oh, guys, I don't know where the bear is.

Where could he be? What's this? Hello? Help him out. Wait, he got his head stuck in a rock. Ha ha. What a retard. Uh-huh.

I'll gift you a chance. these fire arrows oh wait actually just got fire arrows should I shoot the bear with the fire arrows that bear seems to know martial arts what the comprehend button what huh the bear what the bear can do that I what did I do gathers fallen leaves and areas I just throw a bear? I just threw a bear, didn't I? I hit him with his own hat. Okay.

In combat. So how do I do it? So I can just pick this bear up and throw him in the water. Ignite the beehive with arrows. Okay, I have to do that too. Okay. I should hit him. Oh, oh.

What? To get to general fly. Ruby is still waiting for me. To a bear. So get the fuck out of here. Okay, we'll get the beehive. Delivered the beehive to stupid bitch. Let's go, let's go give that door.

Give that bear, bitch. There it is. Submit odd of these. Oh my God. Oh my God. Heal? Tank. Malay.

Range. Okay, so, well, that's kind of cool. That's decent. I do feel like this is the kind of game where Malay swords would be better. We'll go with the tank weapon, but we're probably going to have to change. Like this is the kind of game where it's like you've got to go fast. Wait, oh shit, this cannot be undone. Wait, wait, cancel?

No change through something. Okay, that's fine. Mo Blade. Umbrella is godly. Let's see what it does. No, we ain't going to do that. gay shit, bro. Like, you really want me to go and use this, like, an umbrella. What do you think I am? Mary Poppins? The fuck out of here. What are you all retarded?

Fuck. What do you all mean? Fortunately, like the greatest blade style is, okay. Okay, so nameless, adjust your art. Okay, so, Thundercry Blade. To equip a newly acquired art, okay. Well, it's only a level seven. I want a better one than that. Okay, that's fine. Can I unlock this? Oh, fuck. So I have to give this guy a bunch of free shit.

Wait. Wait, what the... What the... What the... What the... What the... What the... What the...

The fuck? Oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. Add all. Not enough subtleties. Not enough subtitles. What fuck does that mean?

What a blessing. Oh. Your notes may be off, but you are fated for sure. Destiny approaches. Change is coming. Your choice will shape your path ahead. Yeah? So mysterious.

Level three. First, I need to find rupee at the general shrine. That's not up for grabs. I will touch it. insist oh what the fuck oh it's like a can I can I kill this thing I may not be aunt Han or uncle John's child come here come here come here kept the truth for me come here must have a reason we're gonna see what happens come here Bambi okay prime cut and that I got some experience okay so let's see how this weapon works

well that's pretty cool it works the exact same as every other big weapon i would have never expected that all these people they're after treasure too what i don't know about this one guys oh oh what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong oh okay all right do it see what happens i can deflect a damn I want to be able to shoot it back to him I'm so slow Encounter Apparently I've encountered

What's in a box Okay, we'll loot these That's good That thing is heavy Yeah, it's decent Who's this All this chasing for nothing He didn't slip away did he?

Wait what, should I shoot this guy? Hey, are you blind Out of the way Kill him to Public road. I'll walk right please. Yeah! Hey, let's not get sidetracked. Our apologies, wanderer.

We have an urgent matter to attend to. Please, again. Now get out of my way! You hold your head pretty high for a horse speed. Wait, snatch horse. You little beast, you'll behave... Ugh, my legs still hurts. Wait, I didn't even realize I was doing that.

Wait, I... Wait, what? I stole his horse. Okay, um, all right, all right. So how do I, how do I unhorse? How do I unhorse myself? Okay, maybe tab? Okay, all right, I'm off. Damn, okay.

Damn. Damn. Use the medicine. I don't have any. It's been a good run. Yeah, we had a good run, guys. Okay, I gotta be good. Okay.

What's this crouching tiger hit? Dragon bullshit. Wait, can I just grab this guy? Damn, he just punched me into dick. Current gear durability. Okay, so I'll heal. Okay, so now what happened? So I died.

I actually died. I got to go all the way back over there. Oh, I think I understand it now. Your shit's fuck now? Is it? It's punishing? No, I think it's my respawn point. And you only have

so many respawn points in an area. I don't know about this weapon, guys. Because, like, the weapon, like... I feel like we use the sword. Like, personally, I think the sword's better. Who's this guy? Companion is Heroes' Tomb. Heal here after taking heavy damage.

Is this a bad guy? Who's this guy? What? Oh. Why is his head backwards? Oh, this will be easy. They'll be easy. I'll beat him.

Why is his health not going down? You're recommended a challenge after level 30. Well, what level am I? Sure. Level I am? Three. Okay. Alright, let's get him.

Let's go. Skip. Skip. Skip. What's the ass bitch? Suck my dick. Easy escape. game of my life. All right. It's over, right? Are you kidding me? What the fuck is this supposed to be?

What, what the, what? I don't have any heels. I think I'm dead. I think I'm dead. Oh, okay. It told you level 30. I mean, you could beat that. It's not that hard. But I'm gonna go somewhere else. I'm gonna spend all day on it. Who's this? Let me guess. It's gonna lead me to a treasure. Watch this. The butterflies is going to lead me to a treasure. Watch. You can definitely beat it level one. That's not that hard. I just don't want to spend all day doing it. Okay, so, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay, we got to go over there. Wait, so what do I do here? I'm trying to understand this.

I, did I just get a butterfly? I did. Ooh, what's this? Those were so bad. Yeah, this game's pretty good. I'm enjoying it so far. Bound Roosone. Okay, so now I can unlock that. And who's this loser? High ground. Well, I want to go get that. Let me go get the box. These guys must be friendly, right? Are they friendly? I think they're friendly. Okay, so we have to get up to there.

How do I get up to there, though? Maybe there really is a treasure. What? Okay. There's something off about this place. What? Can I break this door? Push? Locked from the other side. Okay, I'm going to try and figure out how to get in the box.

Okay. So, all right. So what if I go up? So what if I... All right. So if I went to the side... I actually got it. Oh, shit.

There you go. Force it. Yeah, I didn't even know what I was doing. Great. Okay. Well, let's... Let's go over here. Let me open up this box too.

Damn, there's a lot of these boxes, huh? I've been going to go get those horse thieves. I've been getting so distracted. I've been paying attention. Just triple jump. Who's this? I'm not going to worry about him. Observe.

Wait, what the hell is this? Capture. Okay, that was easy. That was easy as fuck. Oh, this is why I spawned so far away. didn't click on the resurrection stone that's what it is yeah you guys see that yeah i i do think that like i i do really think that the uh the sword is just like it's just it's just way better honestly got to here bitch it's pretty cool it's more than all previous banquets combined

we should be careful oh i got a umbrose Oh my god, bro. What's with this garbage? Sword seems spammy though? Yeah, it is. But like the thing is that like with the monster hunter, like the great sword, right? For example, it does a tremendous amount of like knockback damage. Oh. I like that bitch on fire. Where's the horses? Google Met freaking beast? What the fuck does that mean? Let's go inside. Who the fuck is this guy? What are you all doing here? Oh, has anyone seen Ruby? Sure did.

She even entered you into a match. That trader set up an arena, saying that the prize was some fancy treasures for swordsmen. Oh. Ruby paid right then and there to get you in. Now go. Give it a try and win her money back. Young Master is the best.

Dairs to eat snakes, frogs, and tigers. Young Master is the good. Is this a gotcha game? Unfortunately not. At least I don't believe so. Not exactly. Good folk, gather round old jean. A chance for riches is rolling in.

Uh-huh. As a gesture of goodwill, soon my treasures I will spill. The hero's arena is all set. True heroes only pass this step. Don't waver and don't hesitate. Look at his nose. Is there any game shop?

I think so, yeah. The grand prize now is almost won. Feeling tempted, is it true? Then step up and face Fung Shue. Fung Shue, a well of heaven. Oh. Look at that clothes he got on. No option to hit the kids.

You can't kill kids. I tried This is the first thing I tried to do Fresh trinkets on the block The highest bid wins the lock Do I get to play the game now? Okay, all right Win the arena tournament

G what does G do Counting rods Okay Ooh, oh another box I'm level four All right, let's go Do I have to fight this guy? Who the fuck is this guy talking to?

Gain a decade of strength in one bite. You there. Think you can walk past me without a word? Uh-oh. Shut the fuck up, bitch! All right, let's do it. I gotta beat his ass. You there.

Ready your weapon. Prepare for a beating. You pick up a wooden sword. Okay. I've seen this before. Deflection assist? Okay. When I first joined well of heaven,

the future junior brother hit me. Two years, I made him to call me his secret brother. Sparkle skill, beat. Today, I'm gonna let that lesson. Man, he's getting his ass beat. I'm trying to learn how this works. Wait, what? What does this fucking devil make cry shit he's doing?

That's not even fair! What the fuck out of here? Pussy ass, bitch! Get out of my life! Ooh! Eustiest game of my life. This ain't a Souls game, it's an action game with some Souls element. Okay, does the game have dodging? Okay, it does?

Does it have swords? It does. Okay, it's souls. There you go. I don't know what this guy's talking about. Okay, where's my free stuff? The final treasure of the day. Not just a piece.

I better be a set of armor. Aspiring heroes do not pass this by. Everything you need for your journey. We got this long nose guy. Where's my stuff? Which are three's the Souls like? Yeah. Yep.

The perfect companion set for a warrior's journey. 500? Well for the low price of 500 win. 5 hundred. Wait. What? What? Companion set going to

I don't have it. But you do. Pit on it before someone else snatches it away. No coins, no touching. Companion set going once? Companion set going twice? Uh-huh. By the heavens, this is too good to pass up.

I'll take it. Lishanghu wouldn't. When do I get to bid? Oh, alas. I spent thousands for a set like this. I want this. Women? I will say that every problem in the game so far has been created by a woman.

Huh. They're with old Jean. I saw them here just yesterday. Better we stay out of this. It's probably a coincidence. Hold on. I beat that divine might fellow earlier. So where's my prize?

Yeah. What about that? The arena champion! Such spirit in one so young. This prize is yours. What is it a mushroom? Last treasure of the day! And I see this sharp-eyed young heroine is interested.

Uh-huh. This guy's annoying. I want to kill him. I want to kill him. Well, it's already the last one. No need to rush. Let me have a look first. What's this? Wait.

Everything's 9999999. What the fuck? Man. Random storybooks and so-called beast eggs that are just chicken eggs. What he's selling chicken eggs? Bedtime tails. 50,000 strings for a place in Kai Fung. And the discount is 10 Wend?

Can commoners even dream of buying that? And if they could, would 10 when matter? I think we should kill him. Price's prizes selling stolen goods and even tricking little children. Yeah, true. True. That's right. You little bitch.

I wouldn't dare, I swear. Why'd they give them that nose? I was dreamed of the Junghu too. It's a rare joy to meet someone so clever and wary. Take the set along with the prize. I don't quite understand its design. But what's inside may serve you where. I didn't make this game.

Okay. I didn't make the game. Not as well as the profits you take, I'm sure. I did not make the game. I want it fair and square, so hand it over. Not gonna say the name. It's a fake. I'll show you how Fung Shu ended up flat on his back.

Oh god. Is this sponsored? Not after that. If it was. Water and fire forged by divine craft. Uh huh. This is truly from Loist Hill. Old Gene,

did you take this from the Divine Craft Cave? What are they talking about? Oh, he ran away. He sure slipped away fast. Better bring more next time. Uh-oh. He roached out. Talent points are not powerful skills to boost your attributes.

Okay. So H. Okay, so are my talent points. Okay, so fire oil to increase damage, apply burn. Okay, so I'm doing, uh, what is this by one? Is it 1% baseline or is like, is 1% my baseline and then 0.1 is 10% more damage? don't even know okay well it seems like i only really have one choice right so i'm just gonna get wins sense okay that's pretty simple okay uh i'm trying to figure this out okay and what's this

oh charged attacks oh that looks badass okay i again another mystical slot okay well that's Fucking awesome. What the fuck? Okay, what about my other weapon? I think we're going to have to go with this sword, bro. Oops. Who's this dumb bitch? Who is this?

Life. Why? Can I sparring? No. Okay, who is this? Challenge? Okay, I'm going to challenge this guy. What happens if I do this?

Okay. He's blind, so it should be easy, right? What the fuck? What? Who the fuck is this guy? What the- who is this guy? What? Okay, I got it. I figured it out.

It's fine, I'll get his ass. It takes me some time, but we're doing alright. What? Okay, I can't get hit again. Shit! Shit! Okay, give me a minute. Okay. What is he doing?

Dude, this guy gets me in the corner and he just butt fucks me. Who is this guy? Okay, how much damage is this too? What do mean? Dodges. Block in? Okay. Jesus. This is actually pretty hard. I got to block that. That's the thing I really got to do. Bro, what is, who is this guy? Oh my God. Okay. I got to stay away. I got to stay away. I get my energy back up. Dude, dude, dude, dude, what is he doing? What is he doing? What is he doing? What are you doing? He turned into a frog. I didn't know he could turn.

into a fraud usually they can't I'm dead all right I'm gonna do one more attempt I'm gonna do one more maybe don't get in the corner oh okay Jesus why is he doing that with his legs I get oh this is hard okay we're doing a little bit better now see he does this bullshit man that's why I got blocked He's frogging. He's frogging again, bro. Oh my. That's not what a frog does not do that. Okay? I'll tell you that.

Jesus Christ, this guy's hard. Oh my God. This is, this is real. If you beat him, you get a legendary great sword. What did he just say? Is that true? Okay, let me do a wall. one more time. We'll do it one more time. He's frogging again, bro.

What? Okay. All right. We're one to one. One the one. Why is my shit not coming back? I want to region it faster. Okay. I'm gonna have to play like a bitch because I need to. I have to. I don't want to. I need to. What? I'm actually so stupid. It's fine. It doesn't matter. This is Christ. This guy's insane. Dude, I'm I, oh my God. I don't know when I'm supposed to, I gotta do it again. I have to do it again.

I can beat this. You're doing way better? Yeah, I know. Maybe turn out blocking is a bad thing? No, it's not a bad thing. I don't need blocking. I just don't understand the timing. That's all.

Once I understand the timing, I'm going to be fine. I just, like, see, look at this. Look at this. Look at this frog dick sucker now, huh? It's one to one. How about that? What's he doing? What's he doing?

Dude. Jesus. I can barely even see him. Not all attacks can be parried. I don't know that yet. It seems like they can sometimes, but not other times. I just don't understand. Dude.

He's frogging. He's frogging. I couldn't see shit. Okay, so that one recovered really fast. Do it. See what happens. Fuck, he hit me. Oh my God, I almost had it. Okay, I can't get hit again.

Jesus Christ! Holy shit! All right, one more, one more, one more. Too early for this fight, it's hard. It's just that the combos are crazy. Cooked already? I'm super-ooked. I'm omega-cooked.

I think I'm actually tilted. I'm tilted. I'm tilted. I'm too hard. Okay. I don't want to do it anymore. It's too hard. Okay.

Let's go talk to her. Happy now? No. Yep. Yep. I'm a bug method. B.M. quite easy. Yes.

You can have this route science. I would much rather try to learn it off-stream. I hate learning things on screen. I hate it. This one is for me. This is so lovely. You should, much of small ones. Yes.

You greedy little thing. Go on. Take it. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay, okay. Like seeing the growth? I hate it.

I hate learning things on stream. I hurt, I hate... My learning process is very bad. Okay, so what do we need to kill the sky? Yeah, whatever happened to my horse? Should we just go steal it? That's a good idea. Let's go steal it.

Alright then. Uh-huh. If you've got what you came for, it's time to head home. There things... I don't... Have to buy them? Uh-huh. Other things.

Come on. If you want something, go buy it. What's with the I don't have to nonsense? Uh-oh. That no good Toad swallowed my pout. And now my money's gone. So let's just go home. Okay.

I don't have to buy those. No good Toad. So you spent all your money at old jeans. No coins, huh? And let's head home. Are we gonna get this horse or not? Yep. What else do you want, Ruby?

Pine, nut candy? Go on, buy it. It's on me. I can afford that much at least. Aw. Wow. Wow. Wow.

It's all right. The merchant caravan will keep an eye on her. She's safe here. So we just let her go. Don't spoil her like that. So wait, we get to get rid of the girl? Oh, great! Perfect!

That's what I was hoping for. I'll be super nice and let you borrow it. It's all right. The merchant caravan will keep an eye on her. She's safe here. So go ahead. Um, okay, let's, I guess I'm gonna go to the General's Trine. Okay, but don't forget to let me know when you're ready to leave.

I don't know really which one to go with, but I just want with that. All right. All the swordsmen in the storybook's going to tracts going to do. Ooh, what's this? What with this? Nice. The prize at the first jar banquet. Okay.

Um, return to Ruby for heading home. Okay, let's talk to her. Um, okay, well, let me explore a bit. Too much talking. There's a lot of talking. A lot, a lot, a lot of talking. I'm just trying to get an idea how the game works, you know? Okay.

So can I take fall damage? No, I don't. Wait. A cat wearing clothes? There's a puzzle nearby. What? What? What the fuck?

Okay, so let me guess. I picked this up and I put it over there. Lift up. Okay, so I'm going to put it right down here. Oh! Mr. Cat is happy! Meow Gifts you a few bells. Ooh.

That's what I was hoping for. Did he rate the game already? No, I haven't. I just started playing. Charge and attack. Bing, Bing, Bing. Ooh. I don't know why I did that, but I thought it would be a good idea.

So these are all the little activities and things that we have to do. Okay, well let me go back to the stupid annoying girl. I've got to go talk to her. Tutorial didn't explain shit, it's fine. Okay. Come here, you stupid bitch. Yeh. Then don't forget to tell my dad I'm going home with Uncle Guang.

Okay. Who might have to tell? Use this guy. Yeah. You practice martial arts, sir? You bet. Trained with a true master and even worked over at the Palace of Annals. Ooh. The estate in Moonvale Mountain. I've heard of it. Pretty impressive place.

But why did you end up with the caravan? Mocking me, are you? It's been three years since that place closed. Damn, I'm talking shit unintentionally. Oh, my apologies. My home's pretty far from here. And I haven't traveled much. So I didn't know. Oh, well, it's better to stay in. Things haven't been common in Qing Han lately.

Uh, he's friendly. Okay, um, affection. Uh-oh. Okay, oh, I have to talk to this guy, beard gone. Yo, master, did you actually sneak out to get here? Is Madame Hahn still keeping you on a tight leash? Matt, who the hell is that? No, it's just been years since I've left Heaven's Pier.

Who's that bitch? I really needed a change of scenery. But please, not a word of this to Ahan, or I'm sure she'd get mad. Oh. Master Jong's been gone these three years without a word. It's only natural that Madam Han worries about you too. Uh-oh. The Zhonghu is too far removed from us.

Still no word about Master Zhang this year either. I'm sorry. Here's Master Zhang's bookback. I asked around everywhere, but no one could make sense of what's written inside. What is it? You go have a stroll. I'm going to check on my goods. I'm trying to see what the hell this is.

When do I get my horse? Oh, what's this? Damn, okay, so I got character experience. That's good, right? A horse nays in the forest? What the fuck? Okay, so where I go? I have to leave the shrine and go home.

Okay, let's get the fuck out of here. Oh, well, can I loot that? Ooh, I can. Nice. Hey, let's got quite a few outsiders lately. What that old man said about fortune and misfortune doesn't make you wonder. Who's this guy?

This goes in going pretty well. Yeah, I feel like these parries. You have to do a lot of these. He dead. So easy. Ooh, it's a fisherman. You know what I'm going to do? Walk right by him because I hate fishing him video games. I hate that shit. Oh, what all these rocks? Press in. Find the secret. What?

The secret of Meridian Touch. What? Is this a secret? I think I found it. That wasn't it. Okay. Ooh, this could be it. Why are you breathing? Okay.

Wait, this guy's mad at me. Use meridian touch to unseal the acupoint. Try? Oh, what the fuck? What the... I don't know what the fuck I just did. I'm gonna be honest. I have no idea what I just did.

Wait, I just hit that button. I just hit a button. I didn't mean to do that. Okay, uh, select acupoints for a chance of special effects. If there are a chance to immobilize enemies and immobilize, okay, so this is, that's fine. It's a key skill. Yeah, I get it. Okay. Seems pretty simple. Examine him. Oh, okay. I gotta go get this guy's kid, or is he just going to despawn?

Easiest game of my life. According to anecdotes, we as an age journal. Okay, so do I get anything out of this? Oh my God. Look at all this stuff. Holy shit. Oh, my God. Look at all this stuff.

There's a shop, too. Let's go towards this. Kevin's Pier. Camas has a lot of content. There are a lot of activities in this game here. Right about that. This is a high activity game. It's kind of like, you know what this game reminds me a lot of?

Is it reminds me a lot of like a lot of those gotcha games? But, well, who's this? Hello? Mr. Cat. Oh! No, mind. I didn't know what would happen. How was I supposed to know that?

That's not even my fault. Ooh, who's this guy? Marshall Fellowship Level 16. That's like way higher than me. Okay. Oh, pretty stuff. Damn, this looks kind of nice. I can smell the wine from here.

Uncle John always says that the sorghum liquor from the border army smells better. What's this? I wish I could taste it. Take me on an adventure, Mr. Butterfly. Where'd he go? Young master, may you be well? Do you have mounts in this game? I don't know.

Yeah, I actually have no idea. Oh, let me get this too. Yes, nice. Oh, I'm a little six now. Is this it? Oh. The lake and autumn moon blend in their glow. The pond lies still in unpolished mirror below.

Yes, there's mounts. Okay. All right. I'm here. So this is one of this. Damn. This is one of the new cities. I'm upset.

Why so much talking and cutscenes, though? Combat is okay. It's a little bit messy in terms of like, like whenever you get close to an enemy, like the hit like the, the hit like registry is like a little bit weird, but I think it could just take a little bit more time to learn. So I'm not ready to like really say like it's bad yet

because I haven't really done it long enough. Wait, wait, can I? What? Wait, what happens if I get the bar all the way up? Are they gonna get mad? That little diamond. What happens if I, if I fill the diamond up? Now he's orange. Am I supposed to do this?

I'm just killing a villager. What, a witness is reporting to the authority? Wait, what? Wait, do I have to kill him too? Um... I... Guys, Guys, I think I've ruined the game.

Um... Wait, okay, so what happens? So, are they gonna report me? Do I go to jail now? I'm just gonna forget about it, bro. I'm just gonna ignore this. Crime of intentional harm. Wait, what?

What do you mean crime? What? Wait, why? Who's shooting me? Is this... Wait, it's the police. Dude, am I supposed to kill the police? Like, I...

Guys, I really think I'm doing something wrong here. I... Five star... Well, I didn't know. I mean, I thought I was supposed to kill them. I was supposed to go to my uncle's village and I accidentally killed everybody in the village. I don't know how this happened to me.

Okay, let me run away. I got to run away. Oh, jumping costs stamina and combat. I see. Okay, so, all right. We're going to just wait this out. Okay, guys. We're going to wait this out.

We're going to go down in here. Nobody. Wait, oh, wait. Can I just go out of the circle? Does it just go away? Um, I kill them and I got away with it. Oh, good. What a good day to be me.

Wow. Wow. Look at that. Okay, so wait, can I steal this? I just steal everything. I steal everybody's stuff. That's crazy that you actually kill the villagers. I thought there's no way they'd let you do that.

That's what I figured to myself, I was like, oh, okay, it doesn't matter. Like, there's no way it was going to work. Okay, I should go right now, I should go and reset, right? And like, that way I get my heel back. Before I go talk to this guy. Kill more? You think I should kill more people? Really? Maybe I should.

Okay. Ooh, I didn't even see this box. Okay, so how do I rest? Uh, battle pass, compendium. How the hell do you rest? Are? Wait. Auto rest when near? Wait. So if I walk near it

Oh Oh there's no animation I didn't even know that Okay so all I have to do is walk near that And I get a re-heel I want to go back to where I had 10 heels I like 10 heels better than one heel Let's go talk to this

This guy Probably can't rest whenever you wanted They're like bonfires What's up here What's up bitch? What you want a bitch? That'll do That'll do.

That'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Ah, too many visitors for drunk in Immortal Month this year. Mm-hmm. Got to get the tents up quick before the sun rises in a crowd form.

By the way, where's Ruby? Does she drag you off somewhere again? I forgot where she is. Nothing gets by you. She's with Beard Guang's caravan. They'll be here soon. Beard Guang.

Beard Guang's come again this year. And what did Ruby buy from him? Nothing really. We just happened to pass by and took a look She's always running off looking for heroes Won't even come home to eat I give up on her Damn you giving up on she eight years old

What do you mean you giving up on her? Better hurry back or she'll have you kneeling in a corner again Damn bro he goes and says I might go to the cup chair Okay This came for your kick channel. What's your kick channel? What's here. Um, where is it? People are, oh, people viewbody on kick? Yeah, no doubt. People viewbought everywhere, bro. That's just the way it is. Like, I feel like you just got to accept it. That's just the way things are now. Everybody's viewbodding, everybody's cheating, nobody cares, and that's just the way

it is. That's life. I don't ever worry about it. I don't think about it. I think the more that you think about it the more you're gonna confuse yourself for wait this dog's killing somebody I'm gonna save you don't worry I'll get it I'll kill mr. dog it's fine I'm not grab I'm gonna grab his ass give me that dog give me that dog give me that dog where's the dog wait I'm trying to give the dog therapy damn it's annoying bro like god damn so do I get anything for that the secret man is now yours. Well, where the fuck is it?

Ow! That's a lot of shit! Manual for the shot collar? Wait, really? The first charred banquet this year won't be peaceful. What's this? Guide the butterflies to the shrine. Okay, I think I did that.

Yeah, I know how that works. I guess we've got to kill this dog here, right? Stupid fucking dog, bro. Great. wolf. The mobs do have a lot of health. Wait, where are they supposed to go? Oh, I have to take him back to the shrine. I placed his ass. I did. Nice. So now what? Is this going to be another pop-up? Maybe it will be. Hello? Press six for mount. Oh my god. Oh wow. I have my own horse. Now let's go over here.

Whatever big news there is can wait Uh-oh I need to find a way to calm her down first Oh this bitch mad Look at this This is what Yotai should have been I mean I gotta play the game more before I know that

Like right now My opinion of the game is that it's good Like I think that it's good so far But these are the kinds of games that I like Like very just open world game You can just do whatever the fuck you want in the game Like I played, for example, Rise of the Ronan for like 150 hours.

So I beat the entire game. I did everything I did on hard mode and all that, right? And it's for free. What number out of 10? I don't know. I'd have to really think about that. Because that's what people always want to know. They're like, what's your number score?

I don't really know if I have one, if you want me to be honest. Like, tab to get off. Okay. I got to get this box. Oh, what's that? There it is. So, this game, what this game really reminds me of is a gotcha game. This game is basically weathering waves, but not anime.

Like, that's kind of the way, oh, too overwhelming. It'll take some time for me to get used to it, yeah. Miss Hahn, more wine. What about my food, Ms. Hahn? Is it ready? Yeah, bitch. What is what this, Miss Hahn? It's madam to you. Can me this, get me that.

Go to the kitchen and get it yourself. This year's drunken immortal monk just only started. And the madam's already. Fuming that boy of yours has got you mad again hasn't he man speak of the devil wait that's my mom Wait what what you look at who the wind finally blew back home? There's Let's come what first on on being angry will give you wrinkles I know I know I should have come back early. I am but it really wasn't my fault. There's no way Amushed by a bandit and black at uncle Jung's hut.

A bandit in black are you hurt? No, I wasn't hurt it was just that the bandit was skilled and my pendant was stolen oh i forgot about that and swift always shifting and changing like a raising storm brought down an entire bamboo i don't know if it's if it's supposed to be your mom though only i could go to the janghu and learn martial arts damn i'd be able to take him for sure Jianghu, Jianghu, all you ever talk about is the Jianghu, gammering about it for a decade. You're trying to drive me crazy?

Damn. Why wouldn't you let me go to the Zhanghu? Not a word from Uncle Zhang. Doesn't that worry you? Whoever took the pendant might be connected to him. He even left the mark on the cabin. Uh-oh. Kind of like a flaming room pattern.

And what of it? After all, you are certainly not leaving Heaven's Pier. This bitch tries to tell me what to do? There are a lot of strangers in town lately. Do not stir up trouble. Hey, madam, bring the wine, eh? Are you just going to stand there? Go bring those tables, their wine.

Don't tell me that I just got downgraded to being a bus boy. Don't tell me, I just get... Oh my God. This is ridiculous, bro. Like, this bullshit. Have you finally paid to win aspects of the game? No, I'm going to try and figure it out after this. That way I can spend money and get better at the game.

Do you guys want to see what the store is? Do you guys want to see a store? Yeah. Ha ha ha, what? Your store? Wait, I could buy, I could buy items? I could spend money? Heading south?

Southern Road. Which Southern Road? Have you been to Wayong City? Young Master, hello there. I'm heading east, passing right through Way Young City. Is Blissful Retreat looking to do business there too? Business? No, no, I've just never been there.

Curious, that's all. Well, I'm not much of a talker, but people say Wei Yang makes the world prosper. In Wei Yang City, I saw shops filled with exotic goods and tea houses and taverns full of people, deck and fields and fields and birds. I want to stab something. Girls, wait what? On the water platforms at street corners, they even offer dried fruits, fresh fruits, salted, sours, and preserves. It's a $40,000 cosmetic in the China store for a ship.

Can't you just buy a real ship? Who pays for those fruits? That'd be the cheapest one on Star Citizen. Who is it? You mean Master Wen? Yeah? Exactly. Master One.

Master. Yeah? Yeah. ...dyeye city stands on water. Decorated doors, gates, towers and pavilions. I...

All rising from vast waves. Blue skies and distant waters as far as the eye can see. Such is the majesty of the foremost of the four. Is that right? Wow. Hmm. Since when did the four? get ranked merchant fools only smell money oh I don't care what the

Zhang who says that's how we see it but you can't skip I can't I can't water festival a woman stole a golden cup from Master One's banquet I'm just trying to understand the game master one she sneaked out to see the ember of east now that she had she needed proof or her husband would beat her and guess what happened her her husband beat her Yes, just tell us. Hmm. Master one had all the golden cups from the banquet.

Man. To the water for people to take. The water sparkled with floating gold. He beat her good. Yeah. And the moral of the story is you should always threaten to beat your wife. Because it could lead to positive unintended consequences. I'd have a family treasure by now.

Obviously. That's what they're saying. That's what they're saying. I didn't say that. They're saying that. I would never say that. That's horrible. Evan's peer is nice too.

Not many places left where you can live in peace. Ooh. So, young master, sell me 100 jars of parting tears today. And next year, I guarantee you can open a second inn in Wei Yang City. Is he talking to me? For now, you all enjoy your drinks. Oh, huh? Okay, well, that was great. No, no, you are not gonna make me do another one, are you?

No way. Oh. Then, do you know what Yan Yun is like, no? Uh-huh. Two years ago, the late emperor. Okay, guys. Welcome to China games. I have played Wuthering Waves.

I know. This is what they do. Too fair, Wu Chang's fallen feathers wasn't like this. I played that one a lot. Good thing the northern Vow kept Wang Ching's spirit and fought to the dead. Ooh. Or none of us would be here. The march to the north.

Ha, two years ago. Wu Chang's good. It was a good game. I beat it on, uh, almost be it on New Game Plus. Well, for a decade. So I wanted to get my, my character level up. Wuthering waves is nowhere near this bad?

You're right. It's a lot worse. Yeah, it's... Wuthering waves is infinitely worse than this, okay? Like, they have way more dialogue. This game has less pay to win than Wow. Okay, but Wow has a lot of pay to win, so we could still be good at the game then.

I'm one of the heroes. Why is my sword so long? I just realized that. This is better than Elven Ring? Is it really? Is that stamina system? It does. And the stamina is pretty oppressive, actually.

But I don't know, you might be able to increase it, same as you can in, like, weathering waves, for example, like other games, too. Like Dark Souls or anything else. I mean, you don't avoid the North just because of Southern wealth, right? Ooh. With the 12 there, and then Killer Blade. Who dare trade that way these past dozen years?

Yeah. Killer Blade. What? What's Killer Blade? Who's that? Duh. They say his blade could split mountains. Oh, and I'm not just blown smoke.

It's the truth. Uh-huh. Over 10 years back, the 12 calamities ruled the border. Was that right? near the border suddenly collapsed. Next morning, they were going to investigate when they found a wet package on the sea wall. What could it be? No, this is important.

This is important. This is important. They used poles to get it down. And inside was the head of a man. Someone ended up on the wrong end of the blade. Yeah, we have to know this for the story. And had his head taken off. Some random guy got his head cut off.

They found the body belonging to the head right where the mountain had split. It was a duel that had caused that disturbance. Uh-huh. Some guy got's fucking head cut off. How do you know it was Killer Blade? Yeah, it's crazy, bro. Like, wow. Damn.

He wanted everyone to know. Uh-oh. That head was master by of the North Alliance. Uh-huh. the 12 so the North Alliance could keep fighting. Dude, discovered the beheading mechanic? Yeah, you can't... I don't know if you can do that in this game.

Until By's funeral. The 12 showed up and destroyed his coffin. But not even his corpse remained whole. Uh-huh. Before leaving, they claimed Killer Blade was their 13th brother. Oh. Real birds of a feather. Not a shred of shame among them.

Oh god. We've heard of Killer Blade 2. As for the 12, they aren't that face. This is crazy. You know what this is like? This is like being in a call with people about something

you don't give a shit about. Were they in league together? The 12 calamities It's like, you know, like you're like 30 minutes into it. No, no, it's really important, guys. We have to figure out what happened. Killer Blade has his temper.

This is the way that China will take over America. They're going to make video games that have so much dialogue that Americans can't actually work anymore and it'll destroy the country. Because there's so much filler dialogue. Well, that's why after getting involved with the 12 calamities, he was always bending over backwards. Yeah, stuck listening to this shit. Weren't happy about this. They wanted to part ways, but feared his temper. Uh-huh. So they set a trap at a banquet and once you know, his blade left a left a leg to live.

So he killed a bunch of guys. Oh, wow. Wine? Wait. Why 11? Is there a rumor about an electric dog? That's not a rumor, bro. That one happened.

I'd have to tell you about that blade of his. Oh. Wine's gone. Ooh. Oh my God. Now I have to buy them more. Oh my God. Here, this runs on me, sir.

Oh, so you're interested too, young master. Then I'll go on. No. No. No. Please stop. It became his name. That's not what I wanted.

What do you mean? No. You gotta explain this. He's explaining the sword. But then the guy gave him the sword. Yeah, guys. Hey, I'm not making this up. Just ask anyone at the border.

Because of that, Yeah, but not. He swore never to use the blade on Zhong Wang Cho. Wait, who? He probably never guessed that years later, when fighting Zhang for his life. He'd have to drop his blade and use his bare feel. So what?

So, Zhong had the advantage, 11 helpers, and Killer Blades promise not to use his blade. And he's still lost? Okay. Killer Blade must be... So he killed a bunch of guys. Uh-huh.

This is my dad, bro. My dad used to do this all the time. Like, you could just sit there and he would talk non-stop for an hour. Just about nothing, bro. Like, literally about nothing. One more thing. Oh, wait a minute, I almost done. The killer blade left the border and has shown up here.

So he's not even here. So I came to see whose blade is really a killer. Mine. This guy came to kill him. Ah. Okay. No. No, don't tell me there's, can I destroy this?

Ooh. Thanks grief, says parting tears. It seems you know your wine. If you drink the parting tears of Heaven's Pier, it brings to mind the one you missed most in this life. Huh? The one I miss most? Yeah. Then tell me this.

Does hatred count as missing someone? Damn, bitch. Missing someone means you're thinking about them. And love and hate both fit that bill, right? How interesting. Uh-huh. If I can't taste wine, this good again next year. You guys noticed there aren't any fat people in this game?

If you like it, come back next year when the pear blossoms bloom. Huh? Now that you look at you. She wants you, bro? So true. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I just wonder if that perky little nose has ever caught the scent of... The scent of a filthy man.

What are you to do? standing there for hearty this hour and the serving dishes have yet to arrive go to the kiln and look into it oh right wow wow what does this say defo smash gory to Palestine mommy That's good, guys. Let's go up here. I guess we're going to find, I don't know what this is.

Head to the porcelain kiln. Okay. Let's go over there. I don't know what that is. Ooh, what's this? What is this? Ooh, is that a new weapon? Cut bamboo within the time limit.

Amazing. Feed me, Mr. Cat. Give me your balls. And now I'm level eight. It wasn't. It wasn't. No, they were a ball. literally wear balls like don't laugh at me it's not my fault like i didn't do that shit i didn't

program that way what do you all mean move move move go over there go over there go over there let's go move move move move what you doing bitch what you doing bitch oh get out of my life what what what pussy that's right i wish that we had a little bit more region i want more region i want more region That way I don't feel like I'm like stuck with like low health. But maybe, maybe I didn't really, maybe they have that. I don't even know. Okay, uh, let's see, or we got to be, I'm, it's nice. Yeah.

Who's this dog? What you doing, bitch? What you doing, bitch? I kill that dog. I said place, bitch. What's this? What's you doing? What's you doing?

Hold still is this. for three breaths. Okay. How do I emote? It says E. Oh, I see. I don't have this one. I don't think I have this one.

Seven? No, it says giveaway. What do you mean? Dance bat? I can't do it. What's this? Six, seven? What's that?

Ooh, what do I have to do? Collect the number of willel wisps? Okay. Yeah Yeah, nothing's perfect, right? Easiest game of... Mr. Cat! Oh, let me close that.

Okay. Am I supposed to be here? What to do? What to do? So many fine porcelain pieces broken. Madam Han will kill me. Uh-huh. Oh, no, no, no.

Show the shop. You guys want to see the shop? The piece is here. Tell me what happened. What happened, bitch? There's so many visitors for drunk in immortal month, and things were quiet here at the kiln. So I, I went for a duel with someone. When I returned, everything was like this.

Why would you go out to the duel? What is this moron doing? What's he thinking? Nothing. I counted everything. It couldn't be ghost from the ghost temple. Mm-hmm. Could it?

There are no such things as ghosts. Go find things so for more jars. I'll investigate here. I have to investigate? Splendid. Oh, and these drunken beans are for Ruby. Give them to her for me. Oh, he knows me.

Okay, you guys ready to see the store? A strong smell of wine. She always likes such strange things. Wait, wine? I thought she's like eight. I'll try my wind sense. Wincense. Okay. Ooh, I gotta go click that. Okay. I wanted to see what would happen, right?

I mean, we gotta know what was gonna happen. Ooh, what's the sword? Oh, this could be a boss. Just could be a boss, guys. Stupid cat? I know, I know. Crouch? That big guy who asked for directions. Everybody there.

Yes, the boss. I hear something inside. Better check it out. Who is it? Who is it? Boxy. You are you the horse thief? Ugh.

Hey, you go. Quick take. Hang in there. There's a clinic nearby. Just kill him. Take Shosa to leave? Wait, why would I want to leave? What's in here?

Oh, there's nothing even here. Okay, that's easy. I guess I have to go take this guy out. Let's go do that. Oh, shit. Brom gonna get the... Yeah, yep. Oh, he mad.

All right, let's do it. What you don't, we don't, bitch. Better look in your next life, Pop. I didn't have to beat, I didn't have to beat him, did I? That was fair. Who taught you this move? Give me what you've got. On your feet, come on, pop.

Take me to blissful retreat. Wait, what? Stop pretending. That wound won't kill you. That old battle axe, Hong Chong Chun is hiding at blissful retreat, isn't she? Han Hu? I don't know who that is. That old battle axe, Han Shang Soon is hiding at blissful retreat, isn't she?

I just want something from her. I'm not going to kill anyone. Who are you trying to fool with that act? You won't even give your name, and you want me to trust you? Yeah, true. Listen well, I am Killer Blade. Everyone knows you've never gone back on my word. Lead the way or I'll kill my way through every single village. Seng He's a big place. Someone's bound to top.

But if you truly are honor bound, swear to spare this man first. Him? This riff-rath is hardly worth my oath. He's got his fucking head up. I don't care whether you believe me or not. Right now, do you even have a choice? Man. Lead the way.

Why'd you have to kill him? Huh? He came to kill me, but I can't kill him. A guy like him's a liability. Every moment longer he lives. Man. That man was already dying. Even without your blade.

Without treatment, he wouldn't live long. Why were you so ruthless? Always trying to play the merciful Buddha, huh? Well, this guy's kind of cool. Not me. What's with the attitude? I said I wouldn't kill you and I'll keep my word. But when I want someone dead, no one stands in my way.

Get a move on. Find Han Sung Soon and your school will be settled. Man. What do you... What with her? What good would it do if you knew? Faster. Damn. This man can't be trusted.

I need to escape and get to ghost. temple first. Yeah, I don't know. A guy three shot me. I can barely walk with his wound. Forcing me will only worsen my injuries. What are you on about now? Uh-oh. Whining that you can't walk, are you? Fine.

Is he gonna carry me? If two legs failed, then we'll try four. Oh my God. Oh my. Dodling. You take a few hits and your legs give out? With these injuries, this is as quick as I can move. If you're in such haste.

What? Why not go ahead yourself? I told you I don't know the way with all these swords been pouring into ching her it's risky to wander blindly This guy's got a pretty badass weapon too Hugg him values around chenna make my head spin I'm locked into this oh wow look at this I work for it ask someone else fine I'll kill a few more folks while I'm at it just don't forget their blood Damn.

I really have no shame. Who is this guy? Since you're so good-hearted, why don't you just leave the way? Damn. I got that- Wait what? Hmm. Stay put, Popp.

If you're gone when I get back, I'll have your head. Okay. I guess now is the time to make a run for it. Am I supposed to run away? What happens if I go over here? with all the red dots. Remote retrieval. Celestial Steeze?

What the fuck is Celestial Steeze? I guess I gotta go over here. I guess I'm just walking over to this way. I'm not sure what the fuck. You don't have it yet? It seems that way. Ooh, this might be a boss fight. This looks like a boss fight area.

Enter the secret passet. Ooh. Oh. Oh. Big money. Can I... Wait, can I go down here? There's something off about this place.

Your strength feels drained. What? Huh? This is like a whole fucking... When's I going on here? Is that a dog? Who's that? Who's that?

Hello? Bitch. Can I destroy these? I can. I'll go up this way. Maybe this way? Ooh, what's this way? Oh, maybe I can go and go in the little spot.

Squeeze through do it. I just beat it. I knew what I was doing on hon about it. Oh can I just kill it? Damn. There's no way a... nah, nah, it... Oh my god, oh my god. Look at those spiders, man. Oh, it's a box. Is that say seven? No, it says one. Ooh, get out of here bitch. Get out of here bitch!

Oh! Get out of my life. The parry in this game is pretty forgiving, I would say. It's not that bad. Okay, let's go back this way. Charge attack? Oh, yes. Did you show us to shop?

No, let me do it right now. Okay, so we have musical grace. Okay, these are, I guess, like, oh, wow. monthly pass what's this a monthly pass instant purchase and you get money

daily login battle pass experience 20 day login rewards 12 wait 1,200% bonus this is better than

Diablo or mortal and there's a battle pass too oh wow 9th pawn shop And now I can be a fucking, a cat boy. Oh, good. Oh, I could be a gay unicorn. Finally.

Finally, I didn't know if I was going to, if they were going to have that, but thank God they do. Oh, this is like a spell effect animation? That looks stupid. Okay, next. That looks stupid, too. This looks stupid. This looks stupid. Holy shit.

Look at all of these. Oh my god Look at all these skins Okay, what about horse What about horse skins? Oh, that one looks kind of cool Look how stupid he looks Who looks a fucking retardant

What? Wait What? What? I might That's a goat? Is it a goose? I get a goose?

The snow oath Okay, this is not a horse? all right items okay this is okay so I can buy premium battle pass okay so what what is this here uh refine use this to reforge item weapon appearance reshapes your body appearance oh my god where's the free loot where's my loot this is just hair dye discount shop exchange shop this is okay just spending money right so you can you can spend 200 and you can get 12,000 of them. Okay, so what can I buy for 12,000?

Oh, that's pretty cheap. Oh, guys. Oh, wow. Buy the goose? Okay. All right. So let me see what happens if I... Okay.

All right. We got the helmet. And now I'm going to buy the goose. Okay. So we have now obtained the goose. How do I do this? Goose thug. The emote can be used.

Wait, what? White-browed goose. How do I, how the fuck do I do this? Um, okay, so, emotes, six. Okay. No, that's my horse. I don't want the horse. F5?

Appearance? Equip. Okay, well, I don't know how to do that. Um, appearance. I see, I see mounts. Goose. Okay. Wait.

Finally. Finally. We're gaming. Yes. Yes, here we go. Been waiting on this for a while. ORA farming, am I? Where are you?

Where you at, bitch? Where could she be at this? Oh Do you know where on let me guess? Yeah How much did this cost? It was like a Let me think

$10 It was like $10 Yeah I bought the $200 $200 pack $10 I need to find out Han now We'll talk about this later

Hey This must have something to do with Matt and Han Think about it If you can go back to the story You can see you can get a flock of them Wait what What do you mean I can get a flock of gusin? What do you mean I can get a flock of Goosen

You can upgrade it As if he's been watching here for ages What? and dodo have you considered that he might just be playing tricks on you but he can't hide like that people have to appear from somewhere anyway my master can make people vanish and so can see they must have some secret hiding place we don't know about oh wow that does kind of make sense where is aunt hon I don't know what they're talking about

okay so all right Um, so wait a minute, so you're telling me I can buy another goose appearance, tear up script goose. So you can get two and you can get three. And you can get, oh, oh shit. Damn. Damn, so you can get all that many of them? No, it doesn't let you buy you have to get these tier up scripts for the goose. the Zinju treasures shop available for so it doesn't let me buy these like I think I have to actually earn these in game

Yeah, I have to earn wait three dogs What does that mean? Nobody knows Alt 1 you've got the helmet wait what? Oh, oh yeah, no, I know that I know that I didn't want to put it on Let me loot this give me that loot bitch you can buy the goose? No, I can't. Then let me. This is I need it out of the treasure shop. This guy is the only guy who plays every game like he's never played a game before. I just, look, I'm along for the ride, okay?

I'm just trying to enjoy myself. That's it. Just trying to have fun. Nobody wants me to have fun anymore. Three shock dogs. Press Alt 1 for the treasure shop. Alt 1. I'm about to spit. Okay. So now what happens? Um, no, it's only one of them.

How do I level them up? How do I level them up? How do I do it? How do I, I don't know how to do it? How do I level my goose? I have to go into shop? Oh right, of course, of course. One more.

I get a screenshot, of course. Legendary goose. I got myself a fucking flock. All right, all right, all right, let me try. now let's go guys we gotta get over there gotta go over there quick where are they young master you're finally I've arrived madam honing the master question to me this morning I almost couldn't handle it what about that medicine chest I gave you did you use it more than that I dealt with

the good bandits too oh thanks to your box the medicine or a farming mount you're right Yeah. Kind of annoying that they make noise though. Well, it has to be realistic, okay? The anesthesia powders, the folk remedies, the extra boost from the medicine chest, it's got you written all over it. Ooh. Say if it's useful or not. If you think my medicine chest works, then you've got to tell me about your Tzhanghu adventures.

They'll inspire me to further improve the message of power. Wasn't paying attention. Submit medical tale? What? Uh, uh. Oh shit Oh And now I need two more of them

Damn So five is my maximum amount Okay I gotta get a lot of these huh? Ask her to unlock the second four Okay unlock it bitch Dodo just said doctor Dodo

Can you buy them? I don't think they let you I don't think they let you I'll remember about the medicine chest. I'll keep notes of all my adventures for you. Quick, give me the key to the second floor. Uh-huh. I need to find Aunt Han now. Fine.

I've already unlocked it. Just go straight up. You and Toto are so... What, bitch? Oh, what's this? Why is this mushroom on fire? I guess I don't know. I can't kill this mushroom.

Warding chest armor. What hell is that? I forgot this game even had gear. Wait, jump, okay. Triple jump above the mushroom. Okay. Which idiot retard said that? That did not work. That did not work at all. The second floor of the clinic. Oh! Oh no, no, no, no, give me that. I need that. Oh, no, give me that, give me that, give me this.

I don't give a fuck. Give it to me. me. It's a small knife with a sharp blade and various attachments. It doesn't look like it's for harming people, but for carving things. Yeah. View. Hmm. Someone often comes here. Must be heading to. Oh, the underground well. That must be it. Inspect the well. This well covered doesn't look naturally formed. I'll cut it out. I'll destroy. I'll destroy. I'll It wait wait well oh I have to fire it Oh, oh I have to fire it

Yes Okay is there anything else inside here No I got everything Who's this stupid bitch what you want How does he understand us women What the fuck? We gotta go down the well Big money big money big money

I can barely see anything Big money What's all my loot? my loot. Give me a minute. I gotta see what my inventory is here now. Okay, uh, appear, no, not appearance. Uh, bag. For my loot. Okay, so this one, if you compare this to the one that I have, it's better. Okay. This one's also better. What about this one? This one says that is better. It's definitely better. Okay, what about this? This is not bad. better. This one's not better. This one's not better. That one's definitely not better.

Okay, so now we got some better. We've got some better stuff. Okay, divine craft. What the fuck is this? Okay, medicine. So I had the heels all along. Oh, shit. It's so dark ahead, you can't even see your own hand. Every step is a struggle. Okay, well, let's go in there. Okay. All right. Um, Light up a fire basin. Wait, wait, wait, I got to use fire arrows. Oh my God. I don't have to do all of them, do I? There's no I gotta do all of them.

Wait, what the fuck? What is this Sims fortress bullshit? He doesn't even have help. I gotta run. Ooh, loot, loot, loot. I, did, what? Oh, what's this one? Nice.

Oh, and I love. leveled up, I got my full heel. It's big loot. Give me, give me, give me, give me, we got to look at it anymore. I gotta find them. Where are? There it is. Every inch covered. That's right. Okay, I'm gonna go down. Let me try this me. No, bro. No, do not make me. Do not make me. make me have to fucking... Do not, do not. Please do not. Please do not. Please do not make me have to fucking do this shit.

Please, please, please do not. Ooh, what the fuck? Zombie monks. Okay. Well, that certainly settles it. Faceless ones leaders. How are things? Still not recover.

Okay. That day. Okay. Uh... So now I stand in this, right? Performer a song of longing. Okay. Oh, I have to get them to come to me. Come here, guys. Come here.

There it is. So I just have them go stand on there. Alright, that seems pretty easy. Open the door. Damn, this place is huge. Where's the loot. What I have to do here? Mysterious book. Practice. What the? fuck is this what the fuck is this oh more loot did i get that loot loot right nothing okay

all right we got a lot of stuff requires the vault key okay practice martial arts from secret manual okay that's kind of cool oh oh oh oh that was that it okay okay Okay, so I did it. Okay, I got one of them. Well of heaven. Okay, I feel like that's good because it looks like a sword. Thunder cry blade. That's the heavy attack?

Yeah, I don't think that one's very good. Okay, where's the sword one though? Because I want to make sure I have the sword one. That's a spear. Um, strategic sword doesn't say that. I guess I might just get this. Okay. Practice.

Oh, that's actually kind of badass. Midnight blades? Oh, I wasn't paying attention. The martial arts of this world are truly magnificent. Wow. But why do I feel my inner cheese searching? My head is spinning. What's this?

Looks like I'm back at the clinic. What the fuck? That was underground. What the fuck? Join them? What's there to be? What's there to fear? For the sake of reclaiming the 16 prefectures, I don't be your debt.

Let alone losing my... Now what the fuck? We gotta go over here. How much is this game? I've only spent $200 on it so far. We'll go through here. I'll have to go through this? No?

Hmm. What do I have to go? I'm too fat. I can't fit. I should read the thing. What does it say? How? You need to press F.

and speak with all dead guys than you can. Okay. Uh-huh. I was once a heroic warrior of the five capitals. I served at... Mm-hmm. At North. If we fail, none of you will return anyway.

Damn. Okay. So I talked to these guys, I talked to him. What about this one over here? I can't? What, this one over here? I can't. What, this one up here.

Then I can go through now. Nope. Oh, I had to go away down with him. How much longer can we wait? Uh-oh. Can't be discovered. Can't die in this wretched place. Okay, now what?

Now we get out. Having the little notes helps a lot. Tap right corner countdown? Yeah, when that countdown ends, everybody dies. In real life. Oh, shit. This sounds pretty. pretty bad. Oh no. Whoa, whoa. Oh. What's going on here? Assists. What people need that for?

Don't tell me this is a, oh shit. Just going to stand there. Get over here. Oh, it's gone? What the fuck? Oh shit. I got a killer? Okay. What's she doing? Oh, oops I parried that, I parried that Get out of here, bitch Damn, almost died

Fine cover What? I don't have any heels I'm dead Yeah, I'm dead Okay Without consuming resources What resources do I even consume?

Okay, let me go Alright, let's get it She's level 10 Like, I feel like I'm Oh I had two heels. What happened in my other heel? I thought I had, wait,

because it said I had two heels. I don't get it. Yeah, that might help. Wait, wait, no, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Okay. All right, any other ideas? I'm out of ideas. That's it?

Okay, let's go. Oh, God. Yeah, so, why do I only have one? I thought I told me I had two. Yeah, I'm so confused. Where, what? I didn't know she could do that in Malay. It's too greedy?

Let me see how this works. I just, I don't understand why. So, because it said I had two heels. Now I only have one. Why do, why do I only have one? Next upgrade is two? Check your bag. Bag.

What about it? You need to collect heels? But I thought it said I had two. This is I, I've owned nine. Wait, do I use these and lose them over two? time? Oh shit. Okay, I really got, I gotta know what I'm doing. That's retarded? It is. It doesn't matter though. It's just the way it is. I just don't understand how I don't parry these sometimes, but I do other times. Got it. Come here, bitch. It's bullshit. He's not

of the heels. I got to lock in. Wake up, bitch! Now what? I'm not gonna say it's because of the duck hit. Have you awakened? But, It's crazy how it happened that way, right? Let me see how you were doing. The goose is loose. Yeah. It's about right, huh? Yes.

Your breathing has steady. Martial arts training is no easy thing. Uh-huh. You must be careful. Right. Did you take the flute that was being played just now? Did I? I don't know. Did I have no idea if I did.

We are merely unwelcome guests. Ooh. That flute was a gift from an old friend. old friend. Could you return it to me? Okay, sure. I don't want this shit. Here, I didn't take it on purpose.

You all seemed pretty out of it, so I thought it had no owner. Uh-huh. ... Should have bought the flock into the fight? Yeah. How can you expect them to keep their former heroic spirit? Before my comrade departed, he gifted me this fluke. With a firm handshake, he was... handshake he promised we'd meet again he has yet to return but i'm not about to give up

damn you all seem to know me this is a random dungeon by the way wait what i thought this is part of the main story the water lady hasn't told you you should ask her yourself some i thought i thought i thought i needed to do this you for returning my flute if ever you need a new phase Oh, this is the guy you talked to to, like, redo your, uh, your character design. Yeah, see? Character unlocked. Oh, wow.

Explore the hidden passage. Push. You can fight on horseback? This game seems like it has everything. I'd be kind of shocked if you weren't able to. Ooh, look at this. What's down? Oh, I know what's down there.

Death. Okay. Yeah, this dungeon was pretty cool. What's this? I was born to hate, but you must pity me. I think it was... What's this? Dodo!

What are you doing down here? People... Those people... Did you see them? What happened to their faces? No. Those people botched the face change. Oh, they're like plastic surgery failures.

The replaced faces. They're all real. And my mother. My mother must be real too. I'm not an orphan after all. I have a mother. Father. Brother.

Mother. Damn, bitch. relax. Calm down, Dodo. Stupid bitch. Let Dodo calm down. That's exactly what I said. Okay, I got to take a little. break. I'm going to take a break for this, but I'll give like a bit of a rating for the game,

talk about it. Obviously I've had fun playing the game. I mean, you know, anybody can tell I'm having fun. And so, yeah, we're probably going to play more of this tomorrow. That's what I'm kind of guessing. And yeah, we're going to do more of this. I might play a bit off stream. I'm not going to go like super hard. Maybe I play a bit off stream. That way I can kind of show you guys more of it. But yeah, I've enjoyed this so far. It's been good. Steam reviews are pretty mixed right now. Well, let me take a look at current level cap reached. Oh, shit. Well, let me see what happens.

Well, I guess I'm out. I want to finish this, right? The breakthrough. Defeat waves one of three. I'm just big dick in them, huh? Oh, I came out of jumping. You can't do that shit? What?

What, bitch? Damn. That was doing pretty well. Okay. We got to kill fat boy here. Give me a minute. Yeah, I killed this guy first. I got eight minutes, I got to do it in.

I think it's because I was targeted on the other guy. No, bitch. Nice. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Damn! There it is. Who's this ugly bitch? Nope.

Nope. Oh, half out. Let me pick him up. Get over here, bitch. Wait, uh, okay, come over to me. Come over to me. Stupid. How you like that, huh? Oh, I'm longboying. I'm longsorting it now.

Oh. Oh! We're long-dicking them. Oh. Damn. Damn, bitch. That's right. Look at. Maximum energy boost from 80 to 200? That's a whole ass lot. I got dual blades, too.

Wow, I got all that shit That's a spear though The max game level is now 20 I know that Because that's what it told me Dual Blades So yeah Anyway, I wanted to do that

I figured like I might as well do the breakthrough thing See what it's like Um Bambro you're the golden goose That's what they call me And so yeah Anyway I've had fun playing this game This game's been really fun.

And I'll probably play more of it tomorrow. I will play more of it tomorrow. And we'll do more of that. And yeah, I've had fun. My overall experience, like my day one experience, like if I was going to rate the game, give the game a rating, I would say that the rating that I would give the game so far has been like an eight, like maybe an eight and a half.

Like I've been really enjoying it so far. I really like the open world games like this. I think it's good. And honestly, for what it is, I think it might even be higher than that because it's made to be like an open world kind of like MMO light game and so like I'm rating as a single player game

and like I just see you guys get an idea of like the kind of things that I like well actually can I change it to where the sound plays and if I'm tabbed out. Can I do that audio? Background audio. Okay enable. Okay good. So yeah anyway the kind of games that I really like playing

like I also played obviously I played Witcher 3 right which is like that kind of a game like obviously a lot of that's AFK time but like you know I played it a lot and um you know I played Taney Grail I liked that one but um the one I was going to show you I think that the game that like this kind of reminds me a lot of is Rise of the Ronan is that I played this one a lot I put a lot of hours into this and I thought it was pretty fun

and I also played a lot of um what do you call it uh fucking weathering waves i played a lot of that so yeah so those are the kinds of games that i like i i enjoy like kind of open world like uh you know what do you call it uh you know those types of games i like them they're enjoyable for me so yeah it's been fun too much yapping the game's pretty nice yeah yeah i feel like it's one of those things where you're gonna have a lot of yapping but then over time obviously you're going to learn more about the game,

and I'll probably learn more about it off stream so I can understand how to play it better. The only thing that I'm criticizing right now is I don't like how control is like a locked variable, and I would rather have like alt or something like that available instead, so I don't have to use the control key. It seems unnecessary to me, and it's annoying. Make a friend.

But yeah, because I usually have control as my jump key, right? That's the reason why. but so it's like usually like that's that's my jump key and my dodge key is uh is space bar that's just like a personal thing for me the epstein files where are they nobody knows there are a democrat hoax to make trump look bad that's why trump spent eight years talking about them so he could make himself look bad how could the democrats do this to him it's crazy huh can you free rowing co-op i don't know I have no idea

I wonder if you didn't swim Obviously you can Can you dive? I don't think you can dive So controller wouldn't be enough because the spells Well I don't know about that Black Myth America Epstein files

Yeah it's about right You see new Trump tweet? No I haven't seen it Is it something dumb? I'm sure it's something dumb You can dive later using controller And it feels good Yeah okay

But yeah, overall, let me just get myself posted up. Yeah, I'd say the game's pretty good. There it is. It's a good game. The goose god, that's right. Yeah, I think it's pretty good. I think IGN was too harsh. But I think it's like if you give the game to somebody who it's like not their target audience game, you know, you're going to have a negative interaction and negative sentiment,

but that doesn't mean the game is bad. Got any fun of Game you enjoy? Yeah, yeah, I had fun. How's the MMO stuff? I don't know. I heard about Ashes of the creation news. I'm going to look at it tomorrow. But, you know, I'll have to look at it then.

You can watch Game of the Year nominees on Monday. I stream every single day. So if it's Monday, then I'll be there. People on Steam are complaining about their account linking problems. That sucks. I hope they can fix it. Yeah. I mean, like, I don't really have an opinion on it, right?

I mean, I hope they can fix that and make it work. IGN gave nine the shitty ass games. Well, yeah, but those games had gay people in them. So it was, I mean, of course. Of course they gave it a nine. Yeah, I mean, you can't give it. If you give a game with gay people in it lower than a nine, you basically hate gay people.

I'm pretty sure that's the way it works. So I'm going to get some Chipotle, chill out, jerk off, play some more of this, and then I'll be back on tomorrow. We're going to play some over it on screen. Actually, I got a frozen garbage away. I'm going to be real. Like, this house is fucking dirty. I got myself a bag right here.

So, yeah, and so, uh, yeah, game was fun. I enjoyed it. I'm trying to think if there's anything else, like, that I want to add. Oh, yeah, uh, some of the hit registry was kind of shitty. Like, uh, the way that attacks would hit you, I was like, oh, that, that's kind of bullshit, right? But, that's like a small thing. I would say overall, it was good. Yeah, I like it. And that's a, that's a problem with a lot of games. And I think. think because this is an online game like the perry window and dodge window is like really generous right even the peri window is like dodge is super easy and i think there's even a perfect dodge mechanic where it like slows down time which i like that because that's like blackmith lukewarm that was really fun so yeah that's the way i feel about it but yeah it's about it how many soda cups i don't know like a lot. Anyway, guys, yeah, I'm going to do this.

Damn, that shit must be loud, huh? Beautiful, isn't it? Anyway, I'll see you guys tomorrow, and yeah, I'll be back on. Hopefully, a little bit earlier. We'll see what happens. So until next time, gentlemen, peace.