Asmongold TV - I wasn't going to show this.. | Asmongold TV

Episode Date: February 6, 2026

I wasn't going to show this.. Asmongold podcast for all of his stream highlights, competitions, reactions & more. -------------------------- ---------- Keywords: gaming news, reaction videos, gaming hot takes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is this? I pretty much gave up on being like a normal person. I gave up on being accepted by the public. I gave up on living a normal life or, you know, having a family or anything like that. I just felt like I just was not capable of that based off of my experiences that I had. I stabbed somebody and a few other things. This is a middle school. I probably wouldn't even say because do it too drastically.

Yeah. People's perception of me. But either way, you know, a lot of these instances where I kind of was like, okay, this is, this is bad. maybe it's better that I'm quarantined than my house. I think that I've been slowly devolving into the most rude, like nasty

callous... Why do I literally have aura? What's wrong with my camera? Because I'm not this bright. This isn't twilight. I'm not a vampire. Why is this happening? It's grease on the lens. Okay. I got to wipe it off.

A psychopathic version of myself. I think that I've been devolving. what is this? I had always assumed that I would kill myself after high school. Like that was my plan. I've just been so afraid. Oh, yep, that's right. I remember that being.

And so afraid of stepping outside of my own bubble. I remember that beanie. My mom got me that. I felt kind of aimless in a way. I felt kind of directionless. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing with my time. Oh, my God. And then I felt like I was waiting.

wasting my time. As a kid, I was actually very much like a very conscientious, a very conscious kid, in the way that I basically didn't really want to be perceived in a negative one. Yeah, I was in elementary school and middle school. Yeah, I remember this. I've always had a big problem with being able to relate to other people. Yeah. Because I think that I'm just a little bit off middle school as well. I care a lot about how I look, how I'm dressed, et cetera, in middle school.

Absolutely. I really tried to, you know, like, take myself seriously. I did. You know, I tried to have a good impression, et cetera. Jesus. Say the right things, wear the right things. Be the right kind of person. It was always very scary for me to know that, like, you know, my mom would die one day, right?

This was extremely scary. This is, like, the one thing that I didn't want that happened. I've had a lot of really bad personal shit going on in my life. Jesus, Chris, this video is fucking brutal. Oh, my God. I've tried to... Holy shit. It's on stream.

Last week, my mom passed. Holy shit. And I'll be honest. Jesus, guys. I still feel like every time I say it, I'm lying. Oh. It's a trauma-tumping video? Yeah.

She's just on a trip. She'll be back. I'll go into her room before I go to bed. Yeah. Look for her to say good night to her. Oh, geez. Look at her chair where she would sit in. She bought me that shirt.

She's there. My mom and I, like, it was really... Or the jacket. My dad was there. He was supportive. And he always has been supportive. It was pretty much entirely on me. Take care of my mom, pay for things, anything like that.

It was always on me. Her having this health scare was the reason why I started making YouTube videos. Oh, yeah. This is in 2013. Because I couldn't bear to not be there and help her and take care of her. And back then, we didn't have the money to hire a caretaker or a nurse. Yeah, we didn't have the money to have hot water. Yeah, we didn't have hot water and we didn't have heat.

Well, we were straight up moving like cavemen. And we had to boil water on the stove. And we had one space heater, and I would give it to her. It was so upset. You had internet? I tried. Yeah, we had priorities. I always wonder if it was like my fault in a way.

Yeah. Because I would buy cigarettes for her. I stopped really caring about anything. I stopped caring about what happens to me. I stopped caring about what happens. I really, like, the more I get away from it, the more. farther away, I really had to respect my mom's

dedication to the game. Like, she was 70 years old chain smoking on oxygen, eating handfuls of chocolate, just fucking, just grabbing these fucking handfuls and just shoveling

the shit down. That, we're going to get Taco Bell tonight? What do you think about some Taco Bell? Drinking Pepsi's one after another and then she's smoking cigarette, smoking weed on oxygen, watching ancient aliens.

No job at all hasn't had a job for like 20 years. 70 years old. In it for the love of the game. Unbothered completely. And even whenever she lit herself on fire with that

oxygen machine, I remember they were carrying her ass out and she said, man. I am such an asshole. I said, yes, you are. You did not,

you knew you were not supposed to do. She knew she fucked up. And I remember when I saw her in the hospital after that, and I was like, ah, that wasn't a good idea, was it? She's like,

I don't want to talk about it. I'm like, yeah, I bet you don't. But if they're, well, the thing is that, like, that actually,

I mean, she was already having, like fucking, she was already crashing out at that point, like literally, right? I mean, like, that happening to her actually had nothing to do with her passing away. It just was, you know, it just like, it's centered at the hospital.

She had recovered completely from all the wounds and all of the trauma from that. She did. And I even had them go back because they fucked up her death certificate. And they said that it was because of the burns. And I was like, well, wait a minute. Like, I talked to the doctor and they said that it wasn't.

And they said it was because of smoking. Because like, Basically, it was like a big point for me that I had it to where it said that her death was caused by smoking because I thought it was. I hated smoking. And I knew that they would use that in a statistic to show how bad smoking was. So I made them amend her death certificate to put it as like, this person died because of smoking. That's it. There are people. I stopped caring about what people think about me.

And I felt that the more that I've cared about things, the more unhappy I've been as a person. I want to talk a little bit about my dad. Oh, God. This week, he passed away. It was pretty traumatic, to say the least. And I was there with him the whole time. It was just me and him. You know, I've lost my mom in 2021, lost my dad.

And now it's just me. I feel like a lot of it hasn't even really set in in like a big case. It hasn't really affected me. Oh, my God. You know, like, really, I, like, yesterday I went into his house, and I just, honestly, I just cried. I remember that. And I'll just say it. And the first time I really have in quite a while, he had pancreatic cancer.

He had had pneumonia six times. He had two rows of debuffs, bro. Like, let me tell you, like, oh, my God. You know, I was there with him the whole way all the way through up until the very end, which was very unpleasant. I don't know if I'll ever really be the same. Jesus. My mom and my dad. Whenever I was growing up, they were the two most important people in my life.

I don't really talk a lot about, like, my feelings and emotions and shit like this, right? I'm not a big guy into getting into it, but it's been hard. I remember waking up and, like, hearing her screaming my name. And for the next, like, six months or a year, maybe two years, I would not be able to sleep for more than, like, an hour and a half, two hours without hearing. those screams of my head and it waking me up and having to go out and check. Oh, yeah. I still alive. Yeah, this was so fucking bad.

So she would have like these episodes where like I never even, they never even really figured out what the fuck was wrong with her. But like she would have these episodes and basically I think there are like miniature heart attacks. Like I have no idea. But it was a thing. And she would be like screaming my name and I would like get up and it would be a fucking panic.

Right. and this is when we didn't have any money. And I'd be like, you know, do you want me to call an ambulance? She's begging me not to call an ambulance because we have no money. And then, you know, like after this happens, like it happened like two or three times. Like I couldn't even sleep because I would wake up every two hours hearing these screams. It went on for like maybe six months. Like that shit, fuck.

Like, it was so hard to sleep. Oh my God. Sounds like actual trauma? Yeah, it was, it was bad. Yeah, it was bad. If you get any sleep, I couldn't rest at all. Yeah. Anytime I would wake up, it would just be immediately a panic attack.

I would always resent and hate and be angry at my parents for the obligation that they put on me. Yeah, I'm an only child and I don't have any of their family in the state. So any sort, and they were divorced too. So I had to take care of them separately. They didn't take care of each other. And both of them, you know, had health problems that required, you know, that's why I like, I mean, it's one of the reasons why I never really moved out. It's one of the reasons why I didn't, like, it's one of the, there are, there are a lot of very big life decisions that I didn't make because of them.

Or I couldn't make. I'm fortunate now that I wish I could, I do anything to have at that. And this is at the same time that barely paper the house, we worry about getting evicted in the house. Oh, yeah. And so, you know, I would go to sleep and like the house would be so cold. They were toxic to her? Yeah, they got along really well. And I always viewed it as like, you know, oh, I'm sleeping out of Mount Everest. And I remember, like, my glass of water in my, uh, in my room, they would have like ice crystals

on the edge of it, right? Because how fucking cold it was. Growing up, my mom was, I think there was maybe two years or so where she made above the poverty level in terms of income. And so we basically barely skated by most of the time. I was having to figure out ways to make money. She would just, she had this strategy. where she would get a credit card and then she would spend all the money on the credit card

and then she would get another credit card and then she would spend all the money on that credit card and then she would get another credit card and then she would spend all the money on another credit card what was it did any of the debt hit you no nothing happened nothing happened she she died with over six figures of debt nothing happened and tried to a piece together money she would borrow money sometimes from my dad. Yeah, it was in general, like, a very, very negative situation. And so we never really had any money. You know, like, I get really mad very easily.

Like, I'm just going to say that, like, straight up. Like, I used to beat my head with the controller. I used, what do you mean I used to? I did that, like, fucking three months ago. I got older, and I beat my head with a keyboard, and now I did a little bit of both. Okay, that's about right. Like, figuring things out on stream, and it makes me feel stupid,

I hate reading and learning things on stream. I do. Stout, like, it just sounds stupid, right? Is there something, like, legitimately wrong with my head, right? Like, autism or something. This video, man. Like, I don't think that's like a negative way at all. What is this video? Like, what the fuck's wrong with me?

Like, why am I not doing this right? I do have problems with anxiety. I do. I'll be honest. It's a really big issue for me. And sometimes, never that kind of takes over. I don't really think very clearly. I get stressed out.

very easily. About a year and a half ago, I had taken an ambient in the night before. Oh, yeah. I'd gotten up, I'd gotten, you know, maybe three or four hours of sleep. I'm walking down to the store. I feel a really weird feeling in my chest. And like my heart rate felt weird. It was the first time in my whole life that I felt mortal. Before that, this is a very uncomfortable period. Teeth pulled out before then. I had taken hydrocodone. I overdosed on a hydrocodone to the point I was having cold sweats. I was on the ground screaming with my arms and lakes going numb, my vision going away, just terrified.

There was something about this moment that happened that night. It just completely changed my whole perspective. As I said, it was the first time of my life I ever felt mortal. Yeah, I went to the doctor. I had them do all these tests. That's whenever, that was like one of the times I had them do all the tests. Because I was like, if there's anything wrong with me, I want to know if there is. So I went through a blood test.

They checked my heart. They did all kinds of stuff, right? Oh my God. Yeah. I can actually die right now. And it changed the way that I looked at basically everything. Same shit happened to me. It really, really bothered me and fucked me up.

Just out of nowhere, I hear a crash. Oh, jeez. I hear glass breaking. I look up and I see lights reflected on like the side of the door. Yeah. And like, it's like going everyone. I go in and the floor is on fire, part of hers on fire. and also the thing that she had connected to her face with her oxygen machine was on fire

because she was smoking with the oxygen machine on and I don't understand it I don't why do you why do you why why she just did not give a fuck why why that's the reason and and I'm going to be honest now that I'm a little bit farther away from it like I can see the ridiculousness of it the fucking machine was on fire and like there was this big oxygen tank right this big machine and there was a little it was like a fucking Looney Tunes episode

where like you know the fuse is going to like the bomb and it's going to blow up that's exactly what was happening and I walked into the room and I stomped it out before I got to the fucking tank I did was nuts well no way yeah it's very I unplug that shit in every

I'm very upset. It didn't have to be like this. She was my best friend. Jesus. I would come home and I would be so happy to see her. She was just so precious to me. It's so important to me. God damn. Bro. What a fucking video. Holy shit. God damn. And the video title is I've lost everyone. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. stuff yeah i guess so right and uh oxygen coming what is this here out the flaming hose spits out uh spits out the fire it's crazy yeah i know it was nuts to watch it happen right i just went and turned it on and so yeah it's that simple you're working yourself to the bone to keep her going yeah yeah i was doing everything that i could i mean of course right i mean why wouldn't i but uh yeah it's just how it is

but uh yeah why would anyone make that is my question why would she do it i mean i i think people do it i don't know why i linked the video i mean it's a nice video i mean yeah it was i mean jesus christ some of this shit was depressing bro like yeah it's like somebody wrote your suicide it's like chat gpt wrote your suicide note i like that yeah there it is right and uh i guess so the guy made an excc video too yeah i mean like some of the stuff that i i guess i mean i guess some of the stuff i went through like has been pretty heavy but um you know i think everybody goes through it i don't really ever think that, you know, like my lifestyle or life is like really that unique. I mean, everybody has their parents die. And if they don't, then what a tragedy, right? If you die

before your parents do. Like, then something probably horrible happened to you, right? And so it's like, that's how I see it. Right. And so like, I just, it's life, right? And it just, I mean, there are a lot of things about life. Like, I remember when I was in high school, I kind of realized, that and I was just like I would just rather fucking die and I didn't but here we are fucking 20 years later actually wait a minute almost 20 years later and I was right about everything I was things turned out pretty much the way that I thought they would which is the way I didn't want them to and that's it and do you feel different no not really feel about the same yeah I don't really feel that much different. And thank fuck. Yeah, I know, guys. I know. And persevere regardless.

Well, you have to. I mean, like, everybody does. I mean, like, I guess some people don't, right? But in a general sense, I think most people do and you just have to. I mean, fuck. Like, what else can you do? And that's it. What's your feeling? You didn't have money when you needed it. And now you have more than what you want. I don't care. I never, I didn't care about like, again, having money isn't everything, but not. having it is. Like, yes, money matters a lot. I've got to, actually, I've got to take a break and, like, do a few other things and fucking, what do you call it? Like, I need to go over to my dad's house and do some stuff over there and, like, make sure I have, I do, like, his chores and, like, take care of his house. And then I need to get a couple of things done for my stream. And so

that's the, that's the plan, right? Men, are going to cry? Am I going to cry? No, I'm not going to cry. I mean, all this happened, right? I mean, like, what the fuck? Like, it's not like it's a secret. Everybody knows this. So, I mean, if I, if things were really going to bother me, I wouldn't share them. Like, that's the truth. And, uh, yeah, nobody mentioned a screen tearing issue today. Yeah, but that's because it's still happening. We're, we're going to be working that out today, too. We've had a lot of, a lot of, a lot of, what would you really call it? Um, troubleshooting for that. Hopefully we were going to be able to do that. I mean, there's still things worth living for.

I think about gaming 20 years from now. Yeah, maybe. I mean, like, I don't really, you know, I just basically spend every day doing whatever the fuck, you know, like, I don't really think a lot about the future. I try not to. I think that the more that you do, the more that you kind of, I don't really even know what the term is for it, right? It's just the less I think, I think that I'm, the I'm happiest when I care about the least. Like, whenever I have anything that I really care about, then my life is bad. And when I don't care about anything, then my life is good.

And that's generally how it is. Keeps me going. Same as much of mine making a game studio? Yeah, there you go, right? You sacrificed much of your life in a long time to live for your parents. Now you need to live for yourself, enjoy the rest of your life? Well, I mean, I did. It ruined my fucking, it ruined my life in a lot of ways.

It fucked up relationships, decisions I was going to make in my life. It fucked up everything about my life. But, you know, that's just what happens, right? Dinosaur game to-times. No, I need to just start that tomorrow, right? Yeah, duty, though. Yeah, of course. I mean, you just do it, right?

I mean, that's it. You had to do it. I mean, like, if I didn't do it, who else would be there for them? Nobody, right? So I had to do it. You're still young? I'm 35. I mean, I don't know if I'm really that young, right?

but, you know, it is what it is, right? You still care about gaming at this stage in your life? Yeah, I do. I do enjoy gaming. You're 35 with millions. You're free to do what you want now. Don't dwell in the past. But what if you don't want to do?

Like, this might sound very weird for a lot of people, because a lot of people live with a lot of... Like, by the time that I was 21, I had done everything that I had wanted to do in life. I was done. There was nothing more that I had left to do. like I've I've been high rated in World of Warcraft I have hung out with my friends all the time

I've you know done everything else same yeah and so like I I beat I'm on I'm on like new game plus three at this point okay so yeah same dude yeah exactly even two chicks at the same time well I didn't have a million dollars then so I couldn't do that and now I'm for the presidency well I don't know about that It seems like a lot of work, man.

Seems like a whole lot of work. You're saying you might be too old. Children, never thought about adoption? Would I ever adopt a kid? Probably not, no. Like, I can barely take care of a plant. I don't want to take care of a kid. Like, if I had a kid, then yeah, sure.

But, like, would I go and adopt a kid? No. I mean, I would probably, if anything, I would probably just help out, you know, friends of mine and, you know, like family members with kids instead. I mean, that's probably what I would do, if anything. Do you want to travel to see places in the world?

Do you honestly want my answer? I could not give less of a fuck. I could not give less of a fuck. Now, would it be interesting? Yeah, sure, it would be interesting, and I might do that. Yeah. But, like, is it something that I have, like, an internal yearning for? Absolutely not.

I've always, I've always just liked doing me and doing whatever the fuck I wanted, man. And that was it. Is there anything that's happened to you, it changed your perspective on what you want? Yeah, so basically whenever I was in high school, I went to a high school with a bunch of rich white kids. And those people cared a lot about how they were seen. And I just viewed it as such a pathetic, contrived, like, self-indulgent lifestyle that it completely disgusted me. And that, like, before that, I was much more materialistic. And then it shifted because I'm like, wait a minute.

I thought I was like these people. These people are pathetic losers. I'm not like these people at all. And then I got switched over to another school because my dad made me go to the school. Because, you know, my dad had a lot of money. And, you know, he made me go to the school. And I told him I didn't want to go. He said he didn't care.

And I was like, okay, well, if you don't care about this, I'm just going to fail every single class. And if you don't take me out, I'm going to kill myself. that was the that was the ultimatum that I gave him that was 14 and at first he didn't really take it very seriously but then I did fail every single class I got a zero I like my GPA was a 0.08 yep and and I was like okay well because you know the idea is that you know my dad taught me that if you want to change somebody's behavior you have to figure out why they're doing something and take it away.

So I looked at it and I was like, okay, well, you're doing this because you want me to be successful. So if I am so dramatically unsuccessful, then you will have to stop doing this because it will not be achieving your goal. It worked. It worked. I got to go to the school that I wanted to.

They took me out. I got everything I wanted. That's right. Your GPA was that high. Yeah. Yeah, there it is. And it worked. And using his magic against them.

Yeah, exactly, right? And, yeah, just Saudi from Middle East Street. Or more or less tourist destination places. Probably go to like three or four different countries. I'd love to go to Saudi, Dubai, maybe Qatar. I mean, I don't know. Like, I got a friend that lives in Syria. He's got family in Syria.

Maybe go to Syria. That'd be nice. But an athlete's GPA didn't even play a sport. I did. It was called World Warcraft. but I guess back then it was Halo I played Halo then and yeah

didn't allow gays though oh I guess I can't go man ah geez that's too bad that was bad I started listening to them once ago yeah yeah and uh but no that that's what it was and so like I did that did change my perspective a lot on like what I wanted out of life

and like before then I cared a lot about you know like expensive stuff etc but then after like kind of seeing that at it's like you know at least not even the conclusion at that point. But like at that point, I was like, wow, these people are total losers. Like, I don't want to be like this. Yeah. Well, in high school is rough because I look forward to Raid Nights by Hayd's School. So unbelievably much. I loved high school after that. Like I did. Like I never cared at all about doing well in school. I never cared about. The only thing that I cared

about was taking advantage of as many systems as possible, stealing things out of the school, making money from being at the school by selling things at the school and then hanging out with my friends like the schoolwork was all like that's why I would never skip school I never skipped school

not once because I really never was there I was never really there to begin with yeah do you know what your parents would want you to do with your life doing charity or a church anything else yeah yeah they'd probably want me to probably have a kids and family

and, you know, be religious. My mom would want me to do that for sure. But, yeah, I mean, to me, like, I think about that. Actually, I'm going to be honest. I never think about that. I don't. What my parents wanted for me, that's not up to them, because I'm me and they're not me.

So why would I even consider what they wanted? Straight up. It would never even cross my mind. Yeah, a gay way of thinking? Yeah, maybe, right? But, like, out of respect for them? Well, my respect for them? is that I have to do what they want me to?

Where's the respect for me? No, I'd do what I want. That's it. And heavy stream? I don't think it's really that big of a deal. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, to me, do you want, don't you want a hot tub, though? I hate hot tubs. I hate them.

I don't like the way they make me feel. I don't. But, yeah, I honestly really love school. You know, I loved elementary school. I loved elementary school. I loved high school. Like, I never had any problems in school. I always had a lot of friends in school, too.

like would I say I was popular? I wouldn't really say I was popular, but like everybody in like my grade knew me. Not everybody, but a lot of them knew me. And, you know, people, I had a large friend group, etc., right? And so that was it. Yeah, infamous.

I mean, there were a lot of infamous situations for me in school. Well, high school? Yeah, what's one thing you want to do or try? I don't know. Yeah, I have to really think about it. Yeah, did you get the, uh, did you get Poon-Tang in high school? No, absolutely not. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school, like, pretty much at all. No. No, I don't know if you could have predicted that, but no, not so much. Didn't he become a streamer? What job or career would you have had? Uh, I was going to go to law school. Uh, I was going to go to law school and I had like a three point, uh, like, like, like eight or three point seven or something like that. And so I should have been able to get accepted into the UT law school. because I didn't want to move. And that was like counting in, again,

that was like counting in some of like my early community college classes I had taken, like right whenever I graduated that I got like season. So like inside of like the actual business school classes at like 4.0, that's not true. I got to be in one class. But other than not, you know, I had very, very high grades. And so I was going to go to law school. But then I was like, okay, well, fuck this.

Was working for the IRS interesting? Yeah, I loved it. Because lawyers can legally lie. The reason why I wanted to be a lawyer is because I played Magic the Gathering, and my friend knew all the rules, and he could manipulate the rules to make him win. And I thought that lawyers could do that in real life, and they could cheat everybody. And I thought that was the most effective way to effectively win the game of life, is that if you knew all the rules, you would know how to manipulate every situation in your advantage.

And so that was really, that was the reason why. Like, there's no legal reason or, like, moral reason. it was just like the most, I thought this was like the most effective skill set to take advantage of the most situations possible. Yeah. That's it. That's why the rich, uh, I've like 20 lawyers. Yeah, exactly, right? Was you too? Uh, yeah, I mean, the law school there had like a 3.75 GPA average to get into, or it might have been a 3.7 at that point from like, uh, transfer students. So yeah, it was pretty hard to get into. And, uh, you know, Baylor was about the same. But I mean, like, that was an average too. I mean, like, obviously it means half of them were below.

that? What do you think about the way society is setting? Well, I don't know about that. Um, yeah, that's a lot. Would you be a prosecutor or a defense lawyer? Um, I don't know, really. Like, I, I looked at it as like, kind of having a degree to, like, I was, I, the degree was a tool, right? I didn't want to have a job. I never wanted a job. So, like, I would just simply use this degree to generate money. How would I do that? I don't know. Would you put back foot on trampoline? No, because I'm, not very good at that. Yeah. Ever thought about being a cop? Yeah, my dad said I wasn't allowed to be a cop. He says, we're the other guys. And I'm like, okay. I was like 11 at the time. 10 or 11. And so, yeah, that was the only thing that I was not allowed to do. Could not be a cop. That was it.

Just become a crooked cop. I mean, no, bro. Like, fuck that. You actually educated people think you're dumb as a rock? It doesn't matter. I mean, who cares what somebody on the internet thinks? It doesn't make a difference. It's irrelevant. Too scrawny to be a cop. I mean, he could work out and eat more food, right? I think almost anybody could. Cops is the highest rate of domestic abuse among all professions.

I don't blame them. You know, like being a cop is really hard work, and I think that they get hated by society a lot. And I don't think they get paid enough money for the amount of shit that they have to deal with. It's horrible. Like, I would never want to be a police officer. Did your dad ever tell you to join the military? I was not going to go out there and go to the Middle East and die over oil.

Not going to happen. How'd your father make his money? My dad was, well, this one is so long ago that I think I can say it, is that after he got out of the military, he would, anarchists and other types of people like that, would pay him money to teach them how to make bombs and other types of explosives. and he would help them do that. And that was like,

and this is like, you know, there were like, so there's two different professions, right? And, only shit. Yes, exactly. This is allegedly. But this was like back in like the 70s. So very, very, very long time ago.

And what year was this? Like 1970, early 1970s as far as I know. And it's also like he even tried to join these like private military mercenary groups. Like he had to, apparently he had to lie on his, what do you call it? He had to lie on his, like, military intake for him because they weren't going to take him

because they said he was like a psychopath. Because they, so they were going to, they were going to station him stateside because there are a bunch of like protests going on, like now. And they said, would you ever fire on an American citizen? He said, if somebody throws a brick at me, I'm going to shoot them in a face and kill them. and then they sent him to Vietnam

straight up and so so it was around to Vietnam War yeah yeah his psych evaluation he has a line to psych evaluation and so that's why I found funny you know people saying like

oh your dad would be disappointed and you're saying this like if only you knew and so anyway so that yeah he was a what do he call it he was in the army

and then he tried to join like a private military. And then he was a truck driver and a painter. And then he was also a college professor. And then, you know, these are all the legal ones. And I think there was one more that I'm just not thinking. Oh, a writer. And then he worked at a publishing company and worked his way up.

A painter? No, no, not a painter. My mom did painting, but like my dad never did. And then he worked his way up to a publishing company and he was an executive by the time that he retired. So yeah. Were there more illegal ones? Yeah, it was like three or four more.

What did he teach in high school or in college? He taught English literature, grammar, and like just basic English and also statistics. Did shoot protesters with the Vietnam War was going on, by the way? Yeah, I know. That's why they asked them because they didn't want it to happen again. That was the whole point. Yeah, they were like, oh, Jesus. Like, well, we don't like this because it was a big problem, right?

And so they're like, well, we don't want to have this happen again. So they're like, they just ask him, like, would you shoot him? And he's like, yeah. I'm like, okay, well, you're not going to be here. Yep, you're gone. I can't spell if he taught you English? Because he taught me English not spelling. He used to yell at me all the, like, it was so traumatic, honestly.

Like him trying to teach me spelling, and it never worked. He never taught me spelling. It never got any better. And was your dad's higher rank? I don't know, actually, if you want me to be honest. But it was an enlisted rank. He wasn't an officer. Did you ever talk about what it was like?

after he got a Vietnam. Did people hate him and stuff? Yeah, they did. They did hate him. Yeah, he even said he was jealous of the Vietnam, the Iraqi vets, that like everybody wants to shake their hand at the, uh, at the airport and everything and say thank you for your service, because like he never got that. Like, they even told them, like, to take off all your military stuff. And, uh, you know, that was it. How many kills? Oh, he apparently killed a lot of people. Like, he, I mean, he loved doing it too. Like, he, like, he, he, he loved doing it too. Like, he, he, he, He would tell me, like, all the time. He's like, the only...

He's like, if I could do anything, I would go back to Vietnam. It was so much... It was my favorite time in life. Yeah, he was so happy doing that. Dad's got nostalgia. Yeah. Like, other people get PTSD. He got nostalgia.

Like, I mean, there were times he said he got PTSD whenever he had just came out. But, you know, that kind of went away. And that was about it.