Asmongold TV - It's Time to Come Clean..

Episode Date: August 9, 2026

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For many people, my existence is a soulless, degenerate, disgusting existence. I live the lifestyle of a fiend and a degenerate. After nine years of friendship, a couple of mistakes. Today, we are finally making the right choice. It's time for Asman to dive into Warhammer. Again, okay? Like, to be fair, I also, I did Warhammer when I was like 15, okay? So this is like 45 years ago or something like that.

So I recognize like three of these units. Everything else is all totally new to me. All right. And so we're going to be picking out an army today, figure everything out. And I'm going to be trying to get back into. I don't know how much we're going to get to, but we'll do what rich, because basically rich has spent the last three years wasting his life and also his girlfriend's money. Mia Malkova, by the way, I don't know how this happened. But like anyway, wasting all of her money.

The army that only fans built. That's right. And it's the Salon Ash Army, right? Yeah, how did you know? You know a little bit too much about L'Henmer and my girlfriend. I've seen a lot of YouTube videos, okay? Like, yeah, I've seen a lot of them. I understand a little bit, okay? Just not a whole lot.

And I did play Space Marin, too. But besides that, I don't know anything else about it. You're not wrong, man. I was gone for three years, and this is all I did. This one's pretty special to me. Because, you know, when we first kind of started to get back in the saddle, making content together again, you were talking about all the games that, you know, you're like, oh, how was metaphor? How was this?

How was that? And I was like, dude, it was all about Warhammer for me. I'm excited to, like, show you how much the game was changed. He has, like, an entire, like, drawers. He was, like, going through his house. He's pulling out like entire drawers of stuff. And it's just like full of these little miniatures. It's like, oh my God.

Like, what is this? It's insane. It's crazy. The thing that's so cool about the game too is like straight up. You get to travel all over the place, meet a bunch of really cool people. And when you actually play a game of 40K, you're not really playing against your opponent

as much as playing the game with them. And it's a very collaborative process. I met so many cool people. And we actually like when we were finding out where we were going to shoot this, got to meet even more. cool people. We're here at Fellowship Games right now in Texas. And yeah, I think now we get to start figuring out what Army are going to be. We're going to start. Okay, so in my opinion, whenever I was a 15-year-old retard, I was playing Chaos Base Marines. Yeah. And now I'm a 36-year-old

retard, so I think let's keep doing that. I think everybody knows what the expectation will be. I don't know, man. It's kind of seemed like the Chudpocalypse here. You had a girl over last week. You came in here. You literally showered. I literally looked at you. Okay, okay,

that, to be fair, appearances can be deceiving. So we have, like, first thing, first thing, why the fuck is there a dragon here?

So that is from, that's age of Sigmar, that model. Age of Sigma, is that offensive to you? That's a golden dragon. Those are like the highest level dragons and dungeons of dragons.

Absolutely not. They're the rarest and, like, most important dragons. Wow, this guy saw a dragon It completely pivoted the video Well, I mean like To the Age of Sigmar video

I mean It's on the Who put the dragon on the table? Yes I don't know what you want me to say So this is so there's two separate There's two separate games Is that correct?

There's like a few So it's basically There's Age of Sigma Which is fantasy Which has incredible models But I think that the rules are Like I don't know I think that the rules

might be a little bit cringe I haven't personally played 40K is for the giga chats. That's where the skill players have... Well, I'm not saying I want the dragon. I think it looks very cool. But like...

I want the dragon. I'll buy it the dragon. So, like, there's Aege of Sigma. Then there's Old World. Right. Which is literally the models from when we were... Even before we were kids.

Yeah, yeah. And so, like, they kind of brought that back. That had a revival. Then there's 40K. And then there's also a kill team. So the other one is... What, this is like from armored core. That's this like a real...

That's the real shit. Is this like a real unit you can use in the game? Yeah, that's, that is a... How many points does this one cost, like 30,000? 2,000, 180. 2,000, wait, just this guy. You usually play a 2,000 point game. So then he wouldn't be in the game?

Yeah, you have to play like a 3,000 point game. Okay. Well, then, I mean, if it's a 3,000 point game, it's just, wouldn't it just be this guy and like, these guys here and that'd be it? Pretty much. What the fuck? Well, I'll get the job done.

We'll get the job done. Okay. Come with me. Okay. It's time. All right. It's time. It's time.

So we have a lot of the different, these are all the different units. You're not ready for this yet. Oh. That is age of Sigmar. Okay. Got it. Got it. Understood.

This is 40K. Oh, but this is, okay. I see, I see. I see. By the way, yeah. This shot, so my buddy, who is my Warhammer coach. Right. Like, I literally have a coach.

I take this stuff seriously, bro. I take it seriously. it's my calling in life yeah right and I was told that this is like the best shot okay in Texas to go to great and being here right now there's a lot action is insane is it like I haven't been to a Warhammer place in like as I said like 20 years so I don't know really what to expect but there are a lot of these I remember all of these what do you know about the Lord well I mean like where do you want me to start I mean I don't know like I know like probably 5% of the Warhammer War, which I think

is kind of a lot. I think 5% is a lot. Shoot off? Two minutes of what you know. Well, I don't know. I mean, like, where do you want me to begin? Like, I could do the Horace heresy. I could explain that. You know the Horace heresy. Where he fights the God Emperor and then the God Emperor is mortally wounded.

He's put on the, you know, chair of mankind and they sacrificed like 50,000 or 5,000 psychers to keep him alive. Yeah, I've I've seen the YouTube videos. I'm familiar with this I know 5%

By the way he's running for president Two years Oh yeah? Yeah I can't wait I was saying you are What? You thought the Emperor of Mankind

Well I thought you were just making a joke Or something stupid I was like okay yeah sure right But like no absolutely not I won't have enough time to play video games Absolutely no way No absolutely not You actually do kind of know the lore a little bit then

Of course yeah I get it and, you know, like, I play the game, and, you know, so I get a little bit of it, right? I understand it. And there's the different gods of chaos and everything. And so I feel like, to me, we kind of have to go with Nergal, right? Like, this is like, like, like, I'm required to do this. What do you know about the works? Well, the orcs are like a, it's like an entropic force.

And they just become more and more and more powerful. And based off of the color of things, that's what they do. And there's like a self-actualization magical principle that they function off of that makes it to where, like, for example, things that are red go faster. Yeah, this guy knows more about Warhammer than I do. I'm kind of embarrassed right now. I mean, like, I didn't make, this, I mean, I'm not ready for a pop quiz, okay? I've just gotten lucky.

All right, so you like the idea of diving it with Nergel then? Yes. I think it's, I think I have to. I have to do it So where do I start? Okay, this is the, is this like the starter? Holy shit, look at all these. Oh my God.

Wait, you haven't seen them before, huh? No. This is the new stuff. Like the only one, so Wait, bro. The only one What the fuck? What the fuck is this?

Oh my God. The Prime Arc of Nurgal. Holy shit. That is a literal, that is one of the children of the emperor that betrayed him in the Horace heresy. Oh my God. the leader. Mortorium. Wow. Okay. So then these are all, these are all specific to Nergel, like it for, because they're a death guard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like in this box,

first of all, the fact that he has this box is crazy because these things are super hard to find. So pretty much what you have in this one, these are the Death Stroud Terminators and they're like super durable, hit ridiculously hard. The whole thing with Nergel now in the game is you basically build It's like, that's the plague thing that you do at the start of the game, right? That's what you told me? Yeah. So, like, you basically are, like, debuffing your opponent.

Uh-huh. And if they're within, like, 18 inches of you, you just, you tear stuff apart. Okay. Like, you're slow. This is a solid place to start. Okay. I do think, though, that there's, uh, there's going to pick, like, one model for you. Okay.

I think you know where I'm going with this. Uh... Oh, my God. This is the one, like, I... Do you know if you go... Google him, like, there's like a Photoshopped image of me that's like the fourth result. We already sent it to the editors. Okay.

There's gonna be a whole montage of you holding the box. Like, there's like, yeah. There's gonna be a fan tab. Uh-huh. Uh-huh, okay, yeah, this is, I don't know how many times I've been sent this in the last 20 years of my life. Increasingly more. There are some positives, both being me. There are definitely some positives, but there are a lot of negatives as well.

well-played. I don't even know if I'd use them in the fucking army. I just think, I feel like if I'm gonna do this, it has to be this guy. That is like the centerpiece. Yes, of course. That is, that is like, basically, Votarian and this, those are like cool centerpieces to have. Yeah, I mean, also just to like look around at everything that there is, just so you get an idea of all the other stuff. Some of these are fucking crazy. This rhino, every single Chaos Legion can run this rhino. Okay. And the Forge Fiend, I'm pretty sure every single Legion can play it except for Emperor's children. I don't think that they can play the 14, but I think everybody else can. Oh, what is this? Knight Castaris. What is this? Oh my God. Yeah,

you can run those. I'm just going to say, man, if you were a real man. If I was a real man, you'd be grabbing these bad boys right now. Let me see this? Eldar. Why? They're like elves. Yeah, that's what I play, Bull. There you go. You go. Put that back. Okay. Have fun with your death guard. You don't think that's cool. I think it looks stupid. Yeah, it looks dumb as hell, man.

What do you mean? Like, dude, look at that tank. You see that tank? That looks awesome. This is the most meta tank. You're such an idiot. That phantom titan over there is Eldar. I know, he's shitting on Ellsbride and then he's pointing at a repx, dude.

He's like, oh, look at this. It's so cool. You are a meta-chasing. It is cool. That's the combat patrol. Battle nuns. This is one of their newest models. Oh, that's actually badass.

Yeah. Oh, shit. Look at that. Oh, I actually don't have that bad boy yet. Oh, my God. Lord Discordant. This looks fucking awesome. Look at this. Oh, my goodness.

You know the story with... Wow, right? About how they stole it from Warhammer? No, they didn't steal it. So basically, when they were actually making Warcraft, they were making the game for Games Workshops. That was the intention. It was supposed to be orcs first humans in the Warcraft universe. Last second, they had a disagreement. Blizzard had already made the game.

They were like, yeah, we're going to put it out. Yeah, and then they put it out. And that's how Warhammer's, it was supposed to be. Is that way it looks so similar? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, then you go away to Starcraft. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, but they did copy. They were supposed to actually make it, which is pretty crazy. And so, okay, there's a lot of these. All right, so these are all the Death Guard units. Should I get any of the Bay? Chaos Space Marine units too, or is this like, is this a good amount? If you got this and this, you would have six blight lords. I wouldn't, it's not even bad to get more blight lords. You basically, like, with this, have a pretty good start to a Death Guard army.

Uh-huh. Maybe you'd either get two more Terminators or just two of these boxes. I'd get two of those, that, and then the duo. And that's like a full army, really. And you could, again, you'd start then. sprinkling the Deschraud Bodyguard, but you're getting really close there. I'll say you want to introduce yourself? You didn't actually introduce you that. No, it's all good. I'm glad

you're here. I'm Daniel. I'm the owner, Fellowship hobby and games, but we're just having some fun talking Warhammer, so. Yeah. But anyway, like, you're going to be well on your way to a full 2,000 points, full disposal. Like I tell anybody getting into the hobby, if they come into the store, period. I'll let you jump down the rabbit hole as far as you want. You're a grown adult. That's fine. But at the same time, you're going to

want to be reading the rules and play testing stuff as you add units. So if you just want to collect the whole Shabang. Oh, yeah, yeah. Go nuts, man. I won't stop you, but also it's going to take a hot minute, right, just to build paint while you explore and you might realize, oh, I want three units of Terminators where I only want two of those. So sometimes

in working with your buddy Rich, who's an experienced player, and as you start diving into the mechanics of the game, that can dictate what you get. But I always still stand by the rule of cool is what matters. If you like the model, if you think it's bad, you're going to have fun, building and painting it, and then you're going to have fun playing it too.

Yeah, right, sure. Everybody in this universe just hates on Eldar and I get them except true Eldar players, right? Right, come on, come on. For death death would be one defile. I really would think if I have them. Beasts of Nurble. Oh yeah, Beeson Irrigal. They're the most annoying models in the dead-mound game.

Okay, let me see. In a very good way for you. If you're playing with the demons, Mademaduza things. So, the coolest stick about these suckers right now, yeah, yeah. They heal all damage at the end of every phase. So you force your opponent to like either dedicate all their firepower

or ignore it. ignore it, in which case you're running around the board, scoring things, and killing things. Like, it's, they're super disgusting in a very good way for every, every death-cuter player. Yeah. And then, I can't remember, was this in the vial box? Because those are your little... Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll get those. Okay.

Yeah, that's good. I think now, this is usually what the hammer players do, so now that you've gotten a bunch of stuff, it's time to start your second army. Okay. So let's find the second one. Bro, I just thought about something. What? How we gotta pay for all this?

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Let's get the building, bro. Okay, okay. Have you ever built, like, a modern Warhammer model? The last time I built a Warhammer model, I was like 15. It was before I played Wow. So, uh, that's a no. Which one speaks to you, bro? Where are you starting?

That's a big no. Um, which one? I mean, we, we definitely should do fatty, right? You want to start with fatty, bro? I mean, we should, but my understanding, I bet that's going to be really complicated. That's my only concern. I don't think it's that bad. Oh, geez.

I think you can do it. I can build, I could build that maybe... 59 pieces. 59? That's nothing. Oh, good. What's the worst that can happen? I guess we can find out. Let's try it.

Okay. Let's get you some clippers and glue. Dude, I'm so happy, man. All right. I just get into it. Yeah, we're just going to let you figure it out. Okay. That seems very...

extravagant just for it to be a knife. Just to replace the blades. One of the best ones in the game. Oh wow. Okay. Okay, so I'll take it out. Oh my, oh my God. This is all for one guy. Oh, my God. What have I gotten myself into?

Oh, my God. We've been waiting for you. A lot of fun and good times. Oh, my God. This is... Oh, my... Oh, no. I believe in you, bro. No. This is where we start playing the music. You're going to start with a smaller one. That's crazy.

That is crazy. What's the first step? What's the first step? Give me a minute. All right. Let me look at this. I mean, there's no way it can be that hard, right? I mean, it should be simple. You just to do it when you were 10 years old. I was 15, okay?

And they were made out of metal. They were way harder to build. Wait, have you not used plastic glue yet? I don't know if I have or not. So this, it's not like actually an adhesive. It just melts the plastic and sticks right in it. Oh, it's like the chemical fusion? Yeah, you have a choice.

You either make Rodigis or a great unclean one, which everybody calls a goo-o. Make the goo-o. Okay. Use the clippers. Oh, okay. Oh, my God. Okay.

I thought I was just going to cut it out with it. I just do it like this, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, I'm just, I'm making... It's a flat side of the clippers next to the mowers. Yeah, yeah, okay. I mean, well, yeah.

I mean, as soon as I was about to do it with the knife, everybody starts freaking out. I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to double check it this time and make sure I don't mess something up. And now there's, now we can't, now we're at the point of no return. Okay. So this is done.

We have the first piece. And it says, I need to get two, wait, was this one? Oh, fuck. They're numbered. Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. All right. All right, all right, okay. So where is this here? I've got to find it. Okay, 16. Just trying to figure out the, how the numbering works here. It is pretty random on the spurs. I'm beginning to realize that. I'm like, okay, this is like, it's like four, nine, three, five, 12, 16. Okay. So I've got to find these other two. Okay, six and two. The nice people want me to hold your hand because they think you're retarded. They really are nice. So here's the deal.

Wait, why'd you cut this off? What? Do you know what number this is? You're trying to freak me out by like asking something that like... No, no, no, I'm genuinely curious. Are you here yet? So the reason why is that this is a nine with a line underneath it, and I looked at it and I thought it's a two.

Actually, I'm going to borrow a little bit of your glue. Go ahead. I'm trying to get this little piece off. It's becoming... It's proving more different. Be careful, because you're going to get a little piece of your finger. I'm really trying not to lose my finger. But I'm getting frustrated.

It's gone. The piece is not my finger. I genuinely find this to be one of the most peaceful things in the world. Making a model look decent now, I think anybody can do it. Whoa, I don't know about that one. We're gonna find out, bro. Yeah? We're gonna find out.

This is like doing crack with your friend for the first time. Really? Yeah, she's like... Is that right? Yeah, I feel like Hunter Biden and hanging out with Nick Flentes. It's like a bonding experience? We might not agree on everything.

At least we're gonna have fun. It's hard to get these fuckers to fit together, man, it is. But like, when you do get them to get together, like I just got these two fucking things to fit together. Look at that. Oh my God. Like, I feel like a fucking champion. So it's very, very rewarding.

You're almost there, bro. You don't need to do the whole rulebook because you're... Or sorry, the whole... Because this is for... That's for a few models. Uh-huh. So you're cranking. You okay over there?

I figured it out. There were three pieces and not two. I kept trying to get the third piece and the first piece to fit together, and I've been spending, like, fucking 15 minutes here, and I just realized that there's... an arrow. Yes, yes. Okay. This is really very illuminating.

I just glued this fucker down, right? Yep. Yep. Sometimes people won't base it until the end, but you're not there yet. You mean, I should do this. You should, yeah, you should. You should just slap it down. You did it, bro.

Now we paint. You did it. I'm about to. I'm not ready, because I don't want anything else to go. Dude, I'm proud of you, man. Alright. Okay. After, surprisingly, not that long, we haven't. And

nothing has gone wrong. It's... Okay, that one doesn't look great, but that's all right. Not a single, massive fuck-up. So, I'm glad. What do you think? Dude, it looks really solid, man. Be careful with that. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Wait, wait, you might want to... Okay, my bad.

Yeah, I'm being very gentle with it. Immediately, immediately fuck it up, right? Yeah, you can use more glue. Yeah. I put some on the belly as well as the feet. Yeah, just get that melted plastic in your veins. Yeah, I know that they did the card game. I saw that.

That's been very popular without a doubt. Not, like, right there, I feel like it could have been a little bit closer together. So, yeah, you could do that or green stuff, but honestly on that right there by the time you paint it and shade it it won't matter right you won't you won't see it there's nothing that's like uh like bad no

yeah i mean one for diving into this on your first model like it's fantastic that hand thing was really hard for me to do cinema bro no it came out great thanks man oh dude he's rolling out the red carpet for you now okay he'll have lost actually he should be pretty good at that he usually he's been practicing that's fine

You want to bring the nerglings out there? The tester? Yeah, where are we going to do it? Outside. Get all of your nerglings and stuff. All right. Because you got your little demons, you got your big demons. Do you want a little tutorial or just one after?

I'm assuming it's probably like the shh, shh, shh, you nailed it, you stayed in a little way. Go nuts. All right. Even in no time. Yeah. Shorter spurts. Yeah, you were right about that?

X is a pretty good place to find it is you gotta watch the humidity at certain points but okay I think I pretty much got it dude you're good yeah it doesn't take much but you're six inches away and it's kind of one of these I yeah I would just I would hit right there that bottom part really quick on that and you're set yeah I see it yeah I've Yorked a a few kiss down slap the goo-o in there right goo-o time Alright, big boy, let's do it. I'm gonna move these out of the way. Finally, after an hour.

Start low, go high, and try to stay is perpendicular. Okay, got it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Shorts, bro. Wind. Downwind. Like to take like wind on the praying, deep breath, and then hold it in between sprays. And you just keep doing that.

Look at that, dude. That's good right there, yeah, for sure. Dude, he's got it down. Solid technique. Look at this guy! Retaliation, Cadra? Oh, look at that. They're on that side.

Now he's been like a pro, look at that. He's confidence. Yeah. It's like an Italian man making a pizza right now. This is perfect. I like the sword too. You see the bottom of the... Yeah. Towards the hill.

There it is. Pretty solid. The start of an army, bro. Yeah, there we go. Let me bring these over, and then I'll go get the other ones. We'll get you shorted. The journey begins. Thank you, John.

All right, my dude. You are off to a heck of the start. 1,6009 cents. That's after I remember. That's it? Wow. You're in good shape. You're in good shape, but you're going home

with a full army and the new Armageddon box. Oh, man. You're going to have a good time. Honestly, surprised that nothing went wrong, but it can always get broken on the way home. So it's okay. I was scared that like, yeah,

like I wanted you to have a good time so bad. Uh-huh. But like, on the flight here, I was like, oh my God, he's not gonna like it. He's not gonna like it.

He's not gonna like it. And then I feel like, you know, tell me the brutal truth right now. I feel like you're back. So one thing I really like doing is I like just mindlessly and obsessively,

compulsively doing something. And like, this is the reason why I like open world video games. and I click on one flower and it says one out of 523, I'm like, oh, thank God. Now I have something to do for the next two weeks of my life. So whenever I was looking at this and you were like, there's 57 pieces and it's going to be a really annoying thing. I said, all right, well, let's get started. Okay.

You want to know the good news? Yeah. So every single model that you have besides the battle line once, because they go up to easier. Well, you could do up to three, you could have up to three great unclean ones on the table at once. Three fat boys? You could have three fat boys. Technically you could have four, because you could have Rodagus, too. Uh-huh.

You've just been done. Oh, boy, oh, boy. I got to do it twice. Two more times. Okay, well, yeah. Well, but yeah, anyway, guys, we're going to do probably maybe another episode, painting them and going through everything, and that's probably going to be where things fall off, right?

And, you know, we'll see what happens. But, yeah, I'm excited. I think this is the first time I've done Warhammer in 20 years. Hey, if you are a really good YouTube painter or something, hit us up. Maybe we can get lessons, real. Yeah, I have some kind of help or something like that. But yeah, it was great. And huge shout out to fellowship, you know, for helping us, you know, do this and everything.

Like, yeah, it's been awesome. And so, yeah, I had a great time. Honestly, I did. Yeah, guys, if you are in the area, yeah, we're going to show you guys everything about the shop. So a great place. I'm so glad that we found them. I had a lot of fun, man. Absolutely. It's, I feel like a fucking nerd and I love it.

Yeah. So anyway, guys, thank you all so much for watching. We really appreciate it. We'll see you in the next one. Peace.