Asmongold TV - "Men Are Not Okay" | Asmongold TV

Episode Date: January 26, 2026

"Men Are Not Okay" Asmongold podcast for all of his stream highlights, competitions, reactions & more. ------------ --------------- Keywords: reaction videos, gaming commentary, gaming news, game reviews, gaming content creator, gaming culture Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

People have told me that I've been mentioned in this video. I wonder why. Hello again, friends, and happy Halloween. This Halloween, I have decided to dress up as the scariest possible thing to my audience. A woman. Uh-oh. As the OG YouTube pick me, I have made many videos dunking on bad female behavior. Yes.

Ranging from terrible things like the creepy female teacher epidemic. Two more silly things like women posting their ls. in my Are Women Okay video. The video where I read embarrassing stories women willingly put on the internet about themselves. And that video has sort of become a fan favorite. So I've gotten many requests from you guys to do a male version of that video. All right. The issue I found is the male version just doesn't exist.

No, I'm not joking. I looked everywhere for the male equivalent, but it turns out unlike women, men don't like to post embarrassing stories about them. Fuck no. Why would you? No. Because you know everybody's gonna make funny you. You are in elementary school. We out here openly talking about the time they got a yeast infection from the homeless man behind a Denny's. But a man won't even post about the time he said you too when a waitress said, enjoy your food. They take that shit to the grave. At least that's what I thought. Until I visited a dark forbidden corner of the internet.

Was it Reddit? I used a VPN, I changed my IP address. I went incognito mode and I visited Reddit.com. And I found one of the funniest and most depressing communities I have ever come across in all my years doing this. It's true, folks. I may have found the one place on the internet where men are posting their ls. Lord knows it's hard to be a man today, you know? Like I couldn't imagine you're told to be nice, but not too nice, confident, but not too,

confident six foot six pack six figures have a perfect beard or a perfectly clean shaven face true oh yeah that reminds me before we dive into this video honestly i i do think there are a lot of like there's a lot of guys on the internet like if you go on four chan you have plenty of guys telling sob stories and feeling bad for themselves because it's anonymous that's the difference they'll tell these stories anonymously no problem sponsor henson shaving yeah most Theizers force people into these weird workarounds, like, apply cooling after shave to help with the burn. I've never done that. No, that's all coping. I've never done that ever. Like when I was having the worst sleep ever, and I thought maybe it's my routine, you know, I tried to change up my bed routine. I just cut my neck. No, it was my mattress. I finally changed my mattress and then I finally started sleeping better again. It's not your shaving routine. It's the mattress. Uh-oh. Well, the razor. Henson shaving is on a mission to improve shaving. Not with gimmicky, subscribe.

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Are men okay? No. Nope. No, they are not. We have gone over this many times in more serious videos. Modern men are going through a lot and for a long time there was nowhere for them to vent. Can't vent to your friends because that's gay. Can't vent to your girlfriend because that's gay.

Can't vent to a therapist because that's gay. Everything is gay except of course gay sex, which we all know is only gay if the balls touch. So what is a man to do? Where is a man to do? go. Reddit, of course. R slash kitchen cells. The fuck is this. To be exact. Kitchen cells is a Reddit page where a quote, in-cell.

I keep falling in love with my best friends, chicken thighs and potatoes. Go to vent their... I was playing online chess with someone who had a girl username. Each time I would make a bad move. She would insult me in chat, which got me hard. She was actually a he. The egg not... Vent their frustrations with the world.

as well as show off the food they are consuming at the moment. This is just the last woman I went on dates with thought I was going to kill her. Breakfast beef with cucumber. Now, for those of you who don't know what an incal is, an in-cell is a involuntary celibate. Somebody who, for whatever reason, cannot get laid or get a girlfriend. And for the people watching this, a girlfriend is a girl that is your friend who you love. Like that little anime girl you watch in the corner of your screen. except she loves you back.

So let's dive into this. Let's see what Reddit is cooking. I'm in the corner of a screen. Failed my fucking driver's test today. I'm 26 years old, I can't hold a job, I can't get laid, I can't even drive. I don't deserve flavors. This is fucking bad. God damn.

Holy shit, look at this. That's you? I don't eat this shit. I dropped my salad. I fail at everything I do. I'll never amount to anything. I'm a perfect in-cell freak with weirdly long toes. Classmates that I have school shrew vibes.

I can see why. Whole of sludge. What am I looking at? What is this? Your classmate? Holy shit. Maybe they were right. Resident evil-ass meal.

I asked my high school biology teacher out on a date the day I turned 18 via her steam account. Why would you do? You, what the fuck's wrong with you? She blocked me. This guy somehow managed to find, the one female teacher that did not want to groom their male student. Incredible. Chicken looks good, though. 7 out of 10.

Asked a girl out and she started laughing. Aw, that's just... Yeah. It's a learning experience, dude. Got super hard. Rice. Oh. Oh, God, rice.

And that's it. It's just a fucking guy standing there cooking rice. 5'10. Rice looks good. Wow. The only girlfriend I've had was on an online game when I was 11. Yeah, girlfriend. For sure.

I'm gonna hold your hand when I tell you this. That wasn't a guy. That was a man. Yeah. That was a 45-year-old man. Made this cake to celebrate six months on heroin. No woman could love a creature like me, but this feels great anyways. He's not heroin and make...

Oh, man. What is wrong with these people? I only haven't ended my life because I don't want to make any women happy. My obsession with an animal... This is... really bad. Like, I think probably 10% of these are fake. But I think a lot of these are actually real.

I do. They're beta maxing? Yeah. 3D women. Every night before going to sleep, I watch a video of her kissing the camera. And it is almost always the highlight of my day. May I know which one it is? Sue from Monster Mizume. You know what? I actually Oh. After the... Are you fucking kidding me?

Oh, bro, I thought it was like Houto or something like that. I was gonna play the Genshin Impact video, but no, never mind. Last video I did, I can't even judge this. Like, at least it's human looking. At least it kind of is a human, right? The bar is in hell. I have a huge crush on a coworker. I was talking at her about fishing, and I jokingly said I could buy her

one of those toy Barbie fishing rods and teach her how to catch a fish. She said, I don't think I'd be interested in that in the most disgusted tone of voice I've ever heard a human muster. I could believe that. Okay, that one's definitely real. I like how he said talking at her. Not with her, not talking with her, talking at her. Women love when you talk at them. Just corner them and start yapping about World War I or like Warhammer lore.

They fucking love that shit. Just get right up in their face and explain to them the entire plot of Lord of the Rings. That's how you get them. Explain to them the real history of World War II. Yeah, go ahead. See what happens. New boyfriend is younger than me. Oh, no, his mom is being hagmaxed.

She's 52. I'm 23. He's 21. Does he post a photo of his mom? He could literally be my brother. What does it? Where does she look like? What the fuck do they even talk about?

Oh, don't worry about it, bro. They're not doing much talking. I wish a time... Oh, shit. Too bad. I could just casually kidnap me and drag me into a... tomboy pasta cereal. I feel like tomboys are like an endangered species. Yeah. What the is that? Forget tom. It's disgusting. This is disgusting. This is disgusting. Boys, you need to be

kidnapped by the feds. You need to be exiled away from society for what you did to that pasta. My ancestors are weeping. The last time I met anyone was when I went to the psych ward a few years ago, where I got a crush on the first girl who ever showed me any interest. She ghosted me. Just my stupid Chungus life. Okay, honestly, I'm going to be real. I, I think this one's... I... Saying Chungus, being in a psych ward...

I think this is a real one, guys. I do. Yeah. Seems pretty likely. Okay, honestly, good. He said Chungus, it's fake? Girl, you met at the psych ward, okay? None of this Harley Quinn Joker bullshit.

You can't fix her. She can't fix you. That's why she's there. No, no, no. Yes. Next. Today I found out the woman I have been pursuing as a lesbian.

I'm going to be honest. I thought that was something else. else. Burger meat hot dogs for me and my father. Wow. Okay, one, that is doo-do. That is from a butt. And two, it is not over.

It's not over. There's still one way you can date her. Put this on. I don't deserve love. Segregated tic tacks. I have an eating disorder. Gay. So I almost never actually cook.

I'm eating plain strawberry yogurt out of a dog bowl this morning. Fuck my lonely puppy life. What the fuck is my scrubble? legs were oversalted. This morning they were undersalted. I have to kill myself. Wait. I have those plates. I got those in a pack of a hundred. I got those at the store. Yes. So, wait. I mean, honestly, like, there have been times that I've lost in a video game and I'm like, I should just kill myself. Just do it. Like, I mean, I get it. I understand. Things are undersalted. Yeah. Can't you just put more salt on them? Wait. Don't you. Don't

yourself just add more salt yeah off to a vtuber burping compilation and now i'm having the only meal i know how to make where the f f did it all go wrong i just that is disgusting bro which vtuber which which one which one so i know to avoid that channel what is wrong a female co-worker complimented me on my shirt and i began to stutter trying to say thanks this guy will remember that for the rest of his yeah he will be 85 years old on their deathbed surrounded by their family Remembering the time some random woman complimented his Metallica shirt 45 years ago. Ladies, you want to make a random man's life? Complement his shirt.

Just make sure it's not one of those fucking like Ahiago animation. Oh, I've actually never heard that word said in my life. I did not know it was pronounced that way. Shirts though? That was a weird era. I'm gonna be real like anybody that's going around wearing something like this does not need to be near a school. I licked this canned tuna to imagine what it feels like to eat pukes.

Okay, that's good. It doesn't taste like that or have that texture, though. Put five pennies in your mouth, cut a hot dog down the middle, and then lick that. Probably closer. And here I am thinking the guy who licks a can of tuna pretending it was a piquity was rock bottom. What the fuck am I reading? Why can't you just buy a flashlight or something like a normal person? Yeah, really.

The smell and the flavor are important factors here. Ugh. Stop, stop. If it smells and tastes like tuna, something is wrong. She has an infection. Suppose a girl has blocked you on every platform, but you know her address. What is this Mrs. Alt account?

Oh, man. For the past year, you've been sending her one gif each month, each one bigger than the last, sometimes you include a note. She's never responded, but you know she's receiving them. Had to say it. How would you proceed? Uh, you don't.

You don't proceed. None of these people at this party know I beat it to giantess vore animations. Maybe. But now the whole internet does. I love the people in the comments like, my man. What the fuck? It is just actually insane. See, this is the thing, uh, like where was the, uh, uh, let me see if I can find this.

Yeah, this is it. This is the problem right here, guys. Before the internet, I want to fuck toasters. Don't be a fucking retard and you grow up. After the internet, I want to fuck a toaster. Google.

Find a community with a thousand plus members about people wanting to fuck toasters. Fuck up your life. That's what's happened. Yep. And now you have all these retards that are doing this. This is where we're at.

People walk amongst us. Like, the guy in front of you in line at the bank, Might have a being eaten alive fetish. Who knows? An acquaintance I have is talking with his girlfriend and four of her friends 40 feet away from me. What is this pizza, bro? He said statistically one of the ten guys in this room is erased.

They all looked at me. Funfetti pizza. I was talking to a girl. Funfetti pizza. I think that's mold. We thought I was Latino. When I told her I'm Indian, she almost gagged. Woke up this Sunday morning.

I'm still five nine. Okay, 5-9. Is not short. What the hell have the dating apps done to men? Women on dating?

No, the thing is that the problem is that you don't even have these girls that match with you. This is the issue is that these guys get like categorically rejected before they even have a chance

because they're just getting filtered out because these girls and they go in there and this is some 5 foot two girl that's 170 pounds. and she says, yeah, I want my minimum height to be six foot two. Uh-huh. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, Sajah, five foot nine is it being three foot? Yeah, no, and this is what, and so you don't even get a chance. You don't even get an opportunity, man. I'm five, six, and it's fine. There are plenty of guys that are under five foot that have girlfriends. I mean, obviously, right? But like, Jesus, on dating apps, it's the girls that are lying anyway.

Yeah, sure. hating apps have just like destroyed the male psyche. Like dudes now believe if you're not 6-3, it's fucking over. Didn't they just implement like a height filter on like Bumble or one of those apps? Tender's new height filter, new filter incentivizes users to lie about their height? Well, yeah, of course. Or something. That is, that is insane.

Could you imagine they did a weight filter? Could you imagine no women under- I think they should have a weight filter? I think they should. I'm not even kidding. I'm being serious. Like if you're a fat piece of shit, a lot of people probably don't want to date you because you're fat. And so like really, and I'm not talking about even like, not even in terms of the amount, like maybe a BMI or something like that, right?

I mean, honestly, like if I think that everything should be on the table. I think if you want to have, and you could just leave it blank if you want to, right? If you leave it blank, the assumption is 385 pounds. but you know you could have a boob filter a dick filter a height filter a weight filter i think all of it is okay i do i think it's all totally fine because again people like what they like that's it no filters yeah let people choose why is it such a bad idea to let people choose make it make it uh oh 170 pounds could you fucking imagine they would never They would never.

Paid for n'-hs for the first time. They weren't great news. But I kept paying because she talked to me. This is the only fan sent POV. Here's what he doesn't know. She is actually a man that lives in India that's been subcontracted out by her only fans management company. She never talked to you, man.

That was some guy that's in Pakistan. Spinning Glizzy. She talked to you, huh? Are you sure about that? Are you sure you were talking to cutie pie kitten 69 and not fucking Kamal from Pakistan? Wow. Apparently, that's the thing. Apparently Only fans girls hire agencies in India and Pakistan to like talk to their simps for them.

So she might not know this. I know this. This is extremely fucking common. If you're DMing girls on online. Only fans and this girl has more than 10,000 followers on Twitter, you're probably not talking to her. That's it. First and experience? No, I've talked to girls that have only fans.

That's how do you know, because I've talked to them. I know how, I know they do it. I know they do it. I mean, I'm sorry. I know that's what's happening because that's what they told me is happening. Yeah, it's just that simple. I'm gonna be to girls until I am tired of them, so I won't have to approach them and then get rejected. Is this-

That's a good idea. Is this why the birth rate is so low? See, I was under the impression- It's anime. It's because the economy and because gender relations are so terrible in this country and like, women want a career and they're on birth control, blah, blah, blah, blah, but... I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there's just millions of this guy. Or maybe this is just Reddit. I can only get off to Femboy Henta, I know. Now.

This PBNJ sandwiches the extent of my pathetic abilities. This isn't even peanut butter. This isn't even peanut butter or jelly. Corn on the cob, no salt, no butter, no nothing. This is the closest I can get to the feeling of eating out of girls. Oh, that's not. You know what? Maybe it is.

I don't know. My cat was sitting on my lap and I had to make him move because I started to get hard. What is he dating the Crohn's from fucking Witcher 3? when I saw a gif of kids. I probably shouldn't have said that. That's really gross. I'm just thinking about that. Oh, God.

Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. That's fucked up. I was watching a not safe for work video with that one French girl and Coombed just when the camera randomly zoomed in 4K HD on a guy's face, so I busted a load to a guy. Okay.

A little bit cucked and gay and cried a little bit. I should have looked away. But you didn't. Nope. Did you? My body is permanently deformed and crippled by decades of compulsive joyless mess. These tacos look pretty good. I would eat these tacos.

Like, this is the first one that I've seen that actually looks good. Everyone who sees me can tell instantly. Saw a female's body in the cheese and had to go off before finishing the plate. I can see it. Microwaved cheese lasagna. So he likes fat chicks. That's fine. Okay.

Okay, so I'm just gonna pretend I didn't read the first part. Yeah. What the fuck is that? That is not lasagna. That is an abomination. Yeah. Off to a V-Tuber crying compilation and the hardest I've ever in my life. I used to be a track star in high school and both my-

So this is where all the fans of V-tubers come from. Huh. I'm not surprised. Parents always loved me. How did I fall so far? It's actually so crazy how, like, you can do everything right as a parent. just be like a great responsible parent and raise your kid right and then one day on your son's like 13th birthday you gift him his own computer and then in a few years he's mastering to anime girls

crying and posting about it on reddit tofu yeah yeah except for it wouldn't be two years it would be like two weeks i remember like whenever i was a teenager i used to not have a door in my room And it took me like a month to come up with like a logical explanation. Why after I got a computer with internet access did I needed a door in my room? It did. Because I had to think of something. And honestly, I forgot why. What was it?

I think it was probably like to increase the resale value of the house or something like that. Right. And yeah, surely your parents know why? No, my mom, she. I don't think that she ever even really considered that. She didn't. Like one time, the first time that I caught her, she caught me looking at porn.

I was 11. And I said that I had to look at porn because everybody in school was calling me gay and making fun of me. And I made her feel sorry for me, and I didn't get in trouble. I did. They knew?

I mean, I will tell you, this one time Cody and Jeff, so they lived at the house for a while, the four of us living here, and Jeff didn't go to school that day. And he comes downstairs because he was sleeping upstairs. He was sleeping right over there. And he says, oh, hi. And she's like, hi, Jeff. Why didn't you go to school? Oh, we don't have to go to school the day. And she goes, well, why did Cody go to school? Well, so, well, Cody's not very smart. And so because Cody's not very smart, he had to go to school to catch up on all the work.

But I'm smart. And so I didn't have to go. And my mom, she even told me about this story later on. And she said, yeah, I knew he was bullshit. I just said, fuck. I don't care. And she was like, oh, really? really Jeff is that right

well do you want me to make you any bacon oh yeah yeah can you make me bacon oh can you make me what about cinnamon rolls and she just made him breakfast she's like yeah okay and she was like

it's not my kid she's like I'm not gonna deal with this like this is not no no I'm not gonna deal with this it's not my fucking problem this is this is his mom's problem I've, you know, she already went through this with me. No, not again. Still fed him?

Yeah. Why weren't you in school? Because I had graduated at that point. There were a couple years, but like grades below me. And so, like, I had already graduated. And so I was like, I was still asleep at this point. Broke apart just like my life. Yesterday for the first time in my life, I looked for and watched cuck porn on purpose, then cried.

I have a microphone. Jesus Christ. All is cuckporn. You're sitting in a child. chair watching two people you might as well be sitting in a chair in the corner of a hotel room watching so yeah is cuck

porn watching is it is cuck porn sitting in a chair watching a guy sitting in a chair watching two people having sex what the fuck people on a bed what's the difference is basically virtual cucking

it tried to back off today but all the was so bad I just turned my phone off and cried myself to sleep Okay, the reason why you think the porn is boring is because you are so... Completely desensitized from seeing it all the time. Like 40 years ago, dudes were drinking it to like the Sears catalog underwear ads. And now the most insane depraved shit you could ever... No, I remember Rich told me a story about how he saw a homeless guy in New York jerking off to the Mona Lisa.

Imagine is only like a few clicks away. Like, I just don't think humans were... meant to live that way. Like, I don't think humans were meant to see sissy hypno inflation compilations every second of the day, you know? Whenever I masturbate, I leave my c-coms sitting in my underwear. We can smell it, by the way. We can smell the c-women. Women especially can tell if you have recently massed. You ladies know what I'm talking about. No, they can't. This is a lie that women say to intimidate men. Listen, they can't. They can't They can't figure any of this shit out.

They have no idea. Like, you go up to a guy and like, you can just tell. Like, you can smell it. If you're a guy and you're like, wait, is she joking? Is she being serious? Don't worry about it. Last night, I just- She's lying.

They're lying. They have no idea. They have no clue whatsoever. My goopy steamer of a load landed on my Xbox and fell into the ventilation of the console and it turned me on so much I sprayed the console with not. mine sprays of my mom's perfume and mask it to the stench and now it won't start breakfast to start the day why why did you buy a playstate why did you buy an Xbox and not a PlayStation yeah you deserve this why I've had this crush for three years and I want to

screenshot and print some of her photos on Instagram to pee on them but I can't even afford a printer so I just wrote her name on a piece of paper and drowned it in my piss I'm just a stupid pee cell why why why why I hate how the one time she wants to pop for the gram is when she's breastfeeding. Got me using AI just to remove her baby from the pick. They need to just turn off Reddit. I think they should just turn it off. Really, just turn this shit off.

Like, I feel like we've had, I mean, it's been an interesting experiment. But now at this point, it's time for it to end. Just turn the whole thing off. Save the Earth and post them to his uncensored. Plump and full of milk. Oh my god. This video is turning me into a fucking misandress. This video is turning me into a femme cell.

I can't do this anymore. I'm dying my hair blue. I'm getting a nose ring. I'm growing out my armpit hair. The girl I like... I'm gonna be honest. Like, I've seen girls' DMs because they've showed it to me. I can understand why women hate men.

I really can. Because if I read their DMs and the kind of stuff that these guys say, it is so fucking bad. like think about the worst Nigerian Prince Indian call center fucking random South American scammer

that you can think of and that's actually Fred that they work with it's their co-worker and he's worse than that he doesn't even try to hide it second-hand embarrassment yes

do not redeem yes they still crave the attention it's amazing that's a small That is a small percent. Here's the problem with it being a small percent. Is that the guys that say hi and then they post a photo of their dick, they do this to like 150 girls a day. So even if it's a small percentage, it's like if you put one drop of food coloring inside of a bottle of water, the whole thing's going to be fucking red or blue or whatever color it is. So these guys, they do this. It's a multiplier, right?

That's it. Go to HR. They do it every day. All day. Yeah, this is all they do. Those 150 girls block them. Yeah, but one out of that 149 block them, one of them says something to them. And they find out later on maybe it was a guy, but it was a guy pretending to be a girl and he was gay.

But maybe they never figure that out and they assumed it just didn't work out. And that's the reason why they keep doing it. They're chasing that high. We're wearing flip-flops and gym shorts at uni yesterday, sitting on the floor with her legs open. I went home and joked off six times in a row, thinking about her feet and her butt. Woke up today, went to pee,

and noticed that a chunk of skin on the back of my dick is coming off. That's it. That's it. Men need to be born into prison and then earn their way out. There's probably something terribly wrong with her. They already are. Yep, they already are. No, this is insane.

doesn't happen if you aren't super hot girl though. I haven't gotten hitting on or a message from a guy I knew I worked with. Maybe I'm super ugly then. I think that if you are a girl and you're posting photos of yourself on the internet, you're going to have people stalk you and say weird stuff to you. Like, I can't speak for everybody, obviously. But I can say that out of all the girls that I've talked to that have played World of Warcraft, every single one of them has had multiple weirdo stalker stories.

multiple my colon I've been told to seek medical advice ASAP for several months but it will probably figure itself out one way or another Oh yeah sure You should probably go to the doctor

If you don't want something bad I wish older women would pee on me Oh Fuck God the men you have sent to protect us Are on Reddit Fantasizing about getting Pizzed on

Discovered cartoon pornography at the age of eight and like Cartoon porn at the age of eight And my life has sucked since then. Suck since then. My mom caught me dry humping my torn mattress to some AI and hasn't looked at me in the eyes since. This guy could be the next vice president.

I haven't even touched a girl intimately yet and I've lived half my life. I'm 39. Okay, first of all, bro is... People say it is fake. Everybody says this shit's fake. I don't think you understand how degenerate a lot of people are. I really don't. And honestly, this food, like, if you had, if you made me eat this, I probably fucking die. I would probably just fucking die. Second of all, men, you really got to stop the porn.

Yeah. You got to stop it or like just way less of it. It's not good for you. Listen, I used to be super pro porn a few years ago. Not anymore. It's gotten so bad, especially after COVID. I feel like it got so much worse. I feel like addiction just kind of exploded in the past few years. In women, too, as we have previously discussed. Like, sure, everything is fine in moderation, blah, blah, blah. But I feel like there's just, like, no moderation anymore.

I feel like... Well, nobody wants to be moderation. Yeah, they don't want to moderate themselves. They want to get addicted to jerking off to, like, anime girls. And that's, like, what they do for, like, nine hours a day. Like, they don't have a job, and they're not going to school. And so they're just living at their house, jerking off to anime girls. and it's like if you do that,

the thing is that like that sounds like a good thing, right? But imagine like that's all you do for two and a half years. And at the end of that two and a half years, the way that you see the world is going to be different. It is. It's going to be a lot different. Ficking everyone is just a gooner. And it's making everybody depressed.

We're just like a society running on like perpetual postman. not depression. Afraid to talk to women at work in case they allegation max. That's a new one. I haven't heard that before. Just friendliness max and LARP as a normapiled creepiness minimizer. I asked a girl out at work and she reported me to HR. I think I'm going to lose my job. See, this is sad. Like back in the day, it was totally acceptable to flirt with your coworker. It's normal. Like, it's nothing wrong with asking a girl out at work. The problem is doing it 17 times a month. That's the issue. Like if you ask a girl out at work, the odds are you're probably not going to get fired

for it unless it's like your first fucking day. But the issue is that if you're doing it like multiple times, that's the issue. Escaron a date, whatever. Like so many people's parents. You sure? I think so. Yeah. Because they work together because they were co-workers and they flirted and they hung out and stuff. And now it's like not socially acceptable at all to do that. HR culture has ruined the the relationship between men and women in the workplace. Well, so is social media. I think so, too. And I think also the problem is that it's an overcorrection because, like, from what I've

heard, this is, you know, my dad would tell me about this from like back in the day before these were the policies. Oh, man. Like, things were just totally fucking crazy. And so now there's like a massive overcorrection for it where like any degree of this behavior is instantly problematic instantly. Yeah. slapping asses and stuff like that too, right?

I used to work at Arby's. I was 17. One time, a 30-year-old guy gave me a letter talking about how I look and I should call him. After that, he kept coming every day I worked and tried to talk to me and stay in the parking lot and stalk me until I got off of work. Yeah, it's about right. Yep, I believe that.

For sure. HR, go talk to your crush. I got called into HR because apparently it's not okay to jokingly ask my coworker if I can gargle her, period. Okay, that's probably. That's probably I hope that's a joke Okay never mind

I hope that never mind don't do that don't do that No more talking to women at work No more talking to women at work No more talking to women in general Total ban on talking to women Until we figure out what the hell is going on I've been doing this Tinder and got two matches in five days

Fuck my stupid ugly life That's pretty good What do you mean That's good What are you talking about What the fuck From what I know from like men who use the apps that I've talked to, that's actually really good.

Oh my god, yeah. How does spot a fix? Oh, God. All so mad at him in the replies. You get a fucking match in less than a week and you complain. Stop humble bragging. I've gotten zero- Zero matches, oh god. As you Yuki-chan, I believe you. Matches in three months.

Two matches in five days? Why are you- Why you even here? My culture is not your costume. Fake cell. Go outside and get your life together. A true cell gets zero matches. That's true. Two people. How many do you need to be satisfied? Yeah, exactly. Take his balls away.

Two matches. Head on over to kitchen chads. Oh god, what is kitchen chads? Hold on. Kitchen chads. It's real. Oh my god. Yeah. I love cooking for my girlfriend with the money I make for my job. Yeah. Made some ratatooey because I like the movie. Might go for a run later. I have had s'- What the fuck is that? crusty crab across the street from the chum bucket. This is evil.

This is diabolical. Okay, okay, let's go back to kitchen cells. We're done here. Somebody said the two people that he matched with were just only fans' bots. Yeah, he matched with Bonnie Blue and Amarath. All these guys are losing their mind over it. Haven't felt the touch of a woman in months. Yeah.

Fake cell. Try 25 years. Boo, fake cell. Fake cell spotted. Went to the drugstore and the girl cashier. was nice to me. Started stuttering, so she kind of giggled at me, so I left immediately. Felt so humiliated. People were gonna probably be mad at him for this post. Stop myself to get home and masturbate to the idea of her suffering.

Mass-u-fating to the idea of her suffering. Incredible. This is some classic. Yes. Classic in cell. I like how there's just like a bunch of people in the comments like, dude, what the fuck? Bro, get some help. It's fucked up. Fake cells when a real in-cell pulls up. A girl I know has recently added me to her close friend stories. Well, today she posted a poll... Is that the thing on Instagram where, like, the thing is green? That's it? Oh.

Huh. Okay. Yeah, all right. I didn't even know that. Asking what color she should paint her toenails. And apparently, my answer was, quote, too specific. I'm no longer in her close friends list. I once walked up to...

Wow. A woman I went to school with since middle school at a bar. Before I could even finish saying hello and asking how she was, a guy put himself between us and asked her if she knew me. She said no. Damn. I'm pretty sure they're married now. 22, no driver's license, no post-high school education,

never had a job, never kissed a woman, and have horrible social anxiety. Nice. Flying bundle of bananas for dinner. I'm a fucking Albanian. Fuck you. That's pretty bad. Half Jewish, half Indian. It was over at birth.

It was over at birth, but just a fucking raw. ass avocados. Is that an avocado? I don't even know what these things are. I think that's an avocado, right? It is? Wait, really? I got it. Okay. You didn't have to tell us the half-Jewish part. We could tell by the circumcised avocado. Five-three. Finally got the confidence to walk up to a girl at a bar and she bent down and asked me where my parents are. Oh no. Wow. No, no, no, no. Judging by what we have seen around this subreddit,

some guys would be totally into that. Exactly, yeah. Men are drowning, while others die of thirst. I should clean my bathroom, but without the drain flies, I have nobody left to keep me company. Asmen? Gold, is that you?

That's how I remembered this clip, because it was about me. I was like, hey, I remember seeing this photo. That's how I remember seeing. Drain flies. I have nobody left to keep me company. Asmond gold, is that you? You don't just have your drain flies. I don't have any drain flies. Actually,

so we used to have a situation. And basically, I have one of these. And so if there is anything that shows up, I just zap the fuck out of them. And I have had situations, and you can tell, right? You see that light come on? That means it's time for things to fucking die. And so anyway, Hassan, yeah, I has son zap these fucking bugs. I do. And the big ones sometimes, you've got to hold them down and you've got to just, you've got to do it for a while. And they'll start

like smoking, smoke will be coming out of them. They'll be like, you just keep doing it, bro. You just keep doing them. You have a dog? No, no, I don't. Should I get one? And dribble. them, yeah, exactly. And that's it. It's kind of like pressing a, what do you call it, like a pancake or something like that, right? Or a waffle. Like it's a waffle press and you just press them down and you just zap them. Like I remember it was so bad that it actually, my room started to smell like dead animals because I killed so many of these flies. There was that many of them. Look, you have a little ant's friend too. See, it's not all bad. Made peach cobbler. I have a date to tomorrow. Maybe my femme cell gay ret-life is over. A woman going on to a in-cell subreddit talking- Yeah, yeah, this is, you're literally asking for trouble. About how she has a date tomorrow. This is just evil. This is just like eating a five-course meal in front of a starving African child. What are you doing, bitch? I'm a fem-cell loser who can't talk to people and spends all her time playing games.

Guy had a crush on from high school told me he wasn't interested in a relationship. But I think he's lying and didn't want to tell me he's not interested because I'm fat. chopped and broke. Fuck my loser virgin life. I'm a... I think that a lot of the posts by these girls

are actually guys that are using girls' photos so they can find guys to talk to from these in-cell subredits and then manipulate them into giving them money. Because if I didn't have any money,

what I would do is I would scam guys out of money. It's so easy. I've seen so many girls do it. it's like why can't I pretend to be a girl and do it myself? I mean, I know what guys like. I'm a guy. I'm an expert here, right? I mean, so like I'm basically, I'm the imposter.

Yeah, sure. But like, it would work. And you have AI. Yeah. Aren't you doing that now? I should. Maybe I should make a v-tuber avatar. See how it goes. Can you scam me? And then, yeah, what's scary is this is somebody that might be a breeding ground for school shooters?

Oh, I think, I think that's just Reddit, right? but like yeah why is being a version a bad thing I think that well I mean what do you mean why is it a bad thing

were you just fucking born yesterday like do we do we really have to go through fucking 50 years of social fucking context

for you like do you really want to pretend like you're gonna go out like it's like fucking you're getting ready to go to the crusades just

I don't think it's a big deal I don't care about this like I mean whenever you're a young guy I think that it matters a lot and then as you get older, you just don't even think about it anymore, right?

And I think that, like, especially it's weird because, like, if you've been with a girl before, I feel like you just stop even thinking about it being a problem. Like, you don't even look at guys that are like, that are like, that haven't been with the girl. You don't even like it, for me at least, right? Like, I don't even think about it at all. You stop caring? Yeah, so it's weird because like whenever you stop, it's not like, oh, okay, well, now I get to look down on people. Yeah, no, I just stop giving a shit.

Am I the only person that's felt that way? It doesn't even register anymore? Yeah, it doesn't even matter. Yeah, you care until you do it. Who cares? For real? Other people that have the problem. That's it.

No, I agree. Yeah. Serious question. Did Jesus die a virgin? I don't know. That's a good, that's a really good question. About to turn 25 and I'm still a virgin. I feel like it's too late now.

Everyone knows more about intimacy than I ever could. And no one will ever want an unattractive, inexperienced fem cell. Absolutely a guy pretending to be a girl to farm in-sell guys to give her money and then create photos or, yeah, bro, these are, these are just, these are, no, because there are no more girls. on the internet. Any girl that's looking for genuine interaction on the internet is a man that lives in Pakistan. Okay? And if she's attractive,

then it's definitely a guy. Just a lonely virgin fem cell gamer. It's lying. It's a guy. Bro. Why are there women in this in- Because they're not women. They're guys farming the other guys because they know how easy it is

to get money out of them. They're like fucking local. They come in, they gentrify everything. Sports, politics, board games, video games. Now the in-cell community, the hating women club is being invaded by women. Is nothing sacred? There's no such thing as a female in-sell, okay? There's no such thing as a heterosexual female in-cell.

Dating and finding a relationship, different. But any man would fuck you. It doesn't matter how fat, how socially awkward, how ugly. Men fuck coutches. Men fuck tissory chickens. You can find a man who... Never mind. Oh, fuck you.

All female in cells are vol cells. That is my hot take. I know I'm a fake cell. Oh, you guys might not know. Vol cells is voluntarily celibate. This means people that can have a relationship and have sex, but they choose not to. This is like, you know, like intermediary loser internet lingo that a lot of people might not be aware of. But I truly wish I was a true cell.

The only woman who truly loved me for who I am is gone from this world. I'm the only one to blame. I wish I was a true cell, so I didn't know what true love felt like. Oh my God. Sometimes when I cook, I like to imagine I'm cooking for a loving partner who's excited for me to join them at the table. But then I turn around and nobody's there and a little part of me dies inside. Uh-huh. Every night I go to sleep thinking about kissing a girl just once.

Another man's child has the eyes of the woman I love. She's better off with her. Oh, God. About me. And soon enough, she'll forget the color of my eyes and the way we laugh together. I'll be trapped in those memories forever. Bro, like, what are you doing? Like, just cook your steak.

You didn't even cook the meat. What is wrong with you? Forever. I like how in the women posting Elle's video, it was like, I got drunk and peed on my date, Tee-hee, and the men posting Elle's video. It's like, I want to . Yeah. Like, this shit is even funny.

I don't even know, I don't even know what to say to this. This is just depressing. Black bean chili. Mom would hit me until I stopped crying as a kid, and now I'm an emotional wreck to any girl I talk to. Oh, God. I need a girl to beat me like my mom did. Oh, a Freud cell.

I've given up on getting women. My goal now is to get as fat as possible. I guess he must be the moderator. My mind said I look like a serial c**ter, but not a hot one. What's up with women in the serial cah shit? Okay, for all my weird flaws, at least I do not have a serial c**b that is, okay? Women like serial killers because they're hyperassertive.

They give them a sense of, I think, uh, I think a lot. of people like the idea of a loss of control and they like there's like a sexual arousal that comes with the loss of control and an implicit threat of violence that some people get off on

and I think that's the reason why they like it I think the term for it how do I know these things because I'm on the internet a lot it's hubrisophilia that's the term I believe I could be wrong but in terms of internet degeneracy

I rarely am But I do not have. I can't stop having homosexual fantasies about me and my classmate and I wake up with a boner every morning. The cold showers are not fun. I'm not gay, but imagining how slim his legs are makes me feel hot. I'm not gay, but I keep fantasizing about how soft and smooth. Yeah, I'm not gay, but I keep thinking about men and jerking off to them. I'm not gay, but every single time I see a hot guy, I have to jerk off.

Yeah? Bro's legs are. Is that right? I'm in the bathroom trying to eat a banana. when two guys walked in and I could hear them kissing. I squashed my banana in anger because of the jealousy I felt. And to make matters worse, I think I grabbed the wrong kind of banana. Ha ha, I just accidentally squeezed my dick to the sound of two men kissing.

Sounds like you're gay. So often for my roommate that I've started to feel like his boy wife. Maybe in another life I was... Whoa, wait a minute, what? I cook so often for my roommate that I've started to feel like his boy wife. Maybe in another life I was his gatherer trad wife and he was my Chad Hunter husband. Is it time to start? I do think that once we abandon the flesh and we completely embrace the digital world,

I think that there will be a lot of people who choose to be women and they just want to be housewives. And I think that it will be so many people that inside of this digital world, digital world that will create such an abundance economy, that polygamy will then be accepted once again. I want you guys to clip that for about 10 years from now. I'm being serious about this, by the way. Like, I'm not joking. This is where I think things are going to go.

Damn, another novel idea. It's not a novel idea. This is just a future. It's that simple. How stoned are you? I just, what's the regular wife-to-boy-wife ratio to become gay? I think that it depends on if you know if they're so like, okay, so basically, it's like, okay, think about it like this.

If you, it's like the robot thing, right? It's like if you have sex with a robot that's being controlled by a dude, but it's a female robot, it's only gay if you know that it's a dude before it happens. And it's kind of gay if you know that it's a dude after it happens. But I think that if you never know, like it's don't ask, don't tell. You just never know. You never tell people. You never break character. that's what it is

like if you're a cute anime girl or something like that never tell people you're a guy just don't do it Femboy maxing sometimes I have inappropriate thoughts about other men and I hit myself in the head

repeatedly My favorite part about this is the metaphor of the sausages that are locked inside of a fucking bag just open the bag bro it's your destiny Men out here fighting demons.

And the demons is bisexual. Listen, it's 2025. Nobody gives a shit if you're gay anymore. That's basically like being straight nowadays in the world of... Of the internet. Demisual gender goblins or whatever the fuck. You're good, bro. Just don't be a furry.

Went on Grindr to see if I was lovable and they rejected me. That's bad. Dejected on Grindr? Wow. That's impossible. Dudes will literally hit up someone on Grindr before the person even has a profile picture. They'll just like get in the DMs like, hey, bro, like, yeah, it doesn't matter.

You want to bang? I swear to got, talk to any gay male friend of yours. They will say the same. The gay male community is what all of human sexuality would look like if women were not the gaykeepers of sacks. And it's horrifying. I've said, I actually, the thing is that, like, growing up, I always wanted to be gay. Because I thought women were annoying. And they didn't like me.

and so I was like, well, my life would be so much easier if I was just gay. That way I would not have to be thinking about this fucking issue all the time. But then I got older and so my friends, you know, turned out to be gay and I met people that were gay. And then they would tell me about situations. And I was like, oh my God, this is just as pad. It's even worse. in some cases, yeah. Not only you. I'm being serious.

But I confirm? No, I just, I'm not, right? But like, if I was, hey, it is what it is, right? Before that hookup culture is basically straight people culturally appropriating gay culture. And it's been a complete disaster for society. 18 male. I haven't seen my friends in months, and all I do with my time is work at my job. Welcome to being an adult, unfortunately. Welcome to the next 45.

years of your life. It's about to get a lot worse. I love the people in the comments like, imagine having a job. You have friends. Wow. Wow. You have friends. This guy is doing better than like 90% of this subreddit and he's only 18. It's never been less over for someone. I'm only 16 and I've already wasted. I don't know. I mean like we had like we had people that were friends like there was one guy he would play video games with us all the time and he went out and he went on a shooting rampage. And this is in high school. Yeah. Like, I mean, this is everybody, yeah, I mean, I feel like everybody has friends in I school, right? I'm only 16, I've already wasted my entire life. What? Entire life. I'm going to turn a team in a few days. I'm below average and everything. Oh, yeah.

17 years old, you are basically a child. You are a baby. What are you doing on the in-cell subreddit? All these people like, oh. The reason why is that, I think that, like, so this is the issue, is that, that like young guys, especially like 16 to 18, feel like, especially like, you know, junior and senior year of high school, you see like a lot of your friends that are beginning to like go down a path in life. And if you're a conscientious person, you can predict what's going to happen, right?

So like a lot of my friends I went to high school with, you know, ended up like marrying the woman that they were in a relationship with whenever I knew them in high school, right? Like, this is very common. It's very romantic. It's great. this is the best case scenario, in my opinion. And so, in a lot, they start panicking, right? And so then they see other friends of theirs, you know, working at, you know, maybe like a family business. And then they see other friends of theirs getting accepted into a college. But then here they are.

And the only thing that they got accepted into was the new Warcraft Guild. I'm not speaking about anybody in particular here. And, you know, it gives you a degree of anxiety. It does. Because you're like, holy shit. Like everybody else is doing all this stuff with their wife. And I'm not fucking doing anything. That's a problem.

16. 16. Is it over for me? This was me at 16, okay? Quoting Invadersim, going on Newgrounds.com. And now look at me. 17 and still doing Invadersim? I thought you were supposed to stop that once you got into high school.

Oh my God. you know on second thought i am exactly where someone like that would end up aren't i never mind what i'm trying to say is yeah every goth and emo girl in my high school moved from invaders em to uh you know either one fucking you know my chemical romance or something like that like we had a lot of emo and goth girls and people in my school like it was very common i swear to god i remember this this is like a core memory of me being in high school. And it was this guy, or I think there was a guy that was dragging his girlfriend along by a collar with a chain attached to it. And the girl had a furry tail behind her. And she had those helies, you know, the shoes with the wheels on them. And he was

dragging her along to the next class. Yeah. That was my high school. And this was normal. This was totally normal. Nobody even thought about this. It wasn't even a big deal. It was just like, oh yeah, yeah, there's Fred. Did he shocker? I don't know, man. Yeah, it was surprisingly common. Yeah, still listening to MCR. Yeah, I am too. But it's just funny. It's not over, okay? It's never over, but it's especially not over when you are that young. It's not like you're 36 or something. A pretty girl sat next to me on the boss. I'm 35. I'm 36. I'm 36. Wait, what? Wow.

36. Oh. That's not so good. Innocent thanks for research. Spent my last $10 on Onlyfans. Here's my dinner. Why would you spend money on some? Why would you do this?

So here's a little trick that you can do is you just search a girl's only fans name and then you type after that leaks. That's it. That's literally it. Like this is like a cheat code. It's like a universal cheat code. What? What is wrong with you? Like, you're paying money for this shit.

And again, I don't feel bad for saying this because everybody's been talking about using ad blocker on my YouTube videos for 10 years, okay? So, you know what? Too bad. That's what happens. Stupid whore. When you could spend money on a different stupid whore. Me.

I won't get naked or talk to you, but you can support me on Patreon. All patrons get the uncensored version. of every video so you can hear me say fuck shit, pitts, bitch. Link down below. Much smarter way to waste your money if I do say so myself. Anyway, obviously

many of these people are being silly, they're being tongue and cheek. Yeah, I'd say about 10 to 20% of them are joking. But here's how you know that it's not all a joke. It's how vicious and mad they get whenever one person

isn't like them. It's like some guy says he has a friend and like they all start hissing. Like that that's not a, that's all a performative community. It's not. That's what I'm saying. Real actual in cells probably don't hang out much on Reddit. They're not out here posting shit like this.

I just thought this was funny and goofy. That has been my whole channel. I find something funny. I bring it to you. It's nuts. The people that are into this kind of stuff and like the in-cell issue, as I said, there are two groups people in the entire world that cause all of our problems.

Cairns and in cells. Cairns, I think, generally create the in cells. But they both naturally occur inside of nature as well. I'm like a cat bringing its owner, a dead mouse as a gift. Yeah. Here you go. What is your biggest L? Maybe I'll make another video like this where I just read...

Let me think about that for me. Um, man, I would read... Man, I would really, that's really, that's really hard for me to think about. Because there's so many possibilities, right? It could be, wow. Yeah, I feel like there's a lot of these. Exactly. Yeah, drinking, smoking.

One head's audience posting their elves. That's a lot. But I'll see you guys very soon with a new video. I'd have to, yeah, I really need to think about this. I do. Losing that mount, dating a stripper. I've never dated a stripper. Um, I had a friend that married a stripper. Was that his biggest L? Might have been. Um, you spent a year thinking about it. I'm just a lonely virgin, Femso gamer. Yeah, sure, right? Yeah, exactly, right? People farm the

fuck out of this shit. There's a video, give it a like. I've watched a lot of shoe on head videos before. I think that they're very funny. And, uh, I even got mentioned in this one. Isn't that nice?