Asmongold TV - So I Finally Played Star Wars: Jedi Survivor.. | Asmongold

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

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The next generation of Jedi. We seek a dangerous fugitive. Is that me? This is no common anarchist, but a devotee of the treasonous Jedi order. We're not treasonous, we're the good guys. Look at this. A lightsaber. I was alone for a long time.

I was scared that they find out who I was or what I was. Are you not alone? Not anymore. Hey, BD1. I'm Kel. Get your lasers off, my lunch. I guess it's about time I find out who I am. Couple bombs ain't gonna kill you, kid.

Merrin, right? I've spent years of waiting for a chance to avenge my sisters. I know what it's like to lose everything. Knight sisters and Jedi do not travel together, but survivors, we adapt. The fate of the Jedi order lies in your hands. Life has this funny way of forcing you under. path forward execute order 66 master no

every Jedi faces the dark side we can build something different something better she'll sell you out too you can't stop the empire I'm stronger now because of the pain such hatred failure is not the end is a necessary part of the path

Hope will always survive in those who continue to fight I will never forget who will honor your teaching and your sacrifice By the right of the council Calcestis Just kind of dangerous with that lightsaber next to people like that remember trust only in the force so okay start new journey let us begin We'll do Grandmaster. Force interaction hints. Okay, we'll keep that on.

We're not going to turn that on. Okay, let's do it. Big Dick. Big Dick all day every time. Never stop. Is that me? James Gordon? No, he's too skinny for that.

What does it? It's the Klingons. This is not looking good already. We already lost. We begin the game losing. He's like a super jail. I wonder why I start cutting people up. I'm trying to slay.

Sarah's unlocked in him. Stay your business. What does he think he was about to do? Oh shit. Bro, fuck this. I don't want to... Oh. Okay.

We got to go this way. What if I jump over the edge? That's right. Side-step. Inquisitors, one-up invader. The guy's playing a dangerous game. This place looks really. cool. All righty. Pretty detail graphic. Yeah, this is impressive. I'm just right, I'm ready to start

blasting, man. I'll shoot him, let me shoot him. What if I go around this one? What if I don't okay, all right. Yeah, they're not going to let me do that. Just let me go. They're going to shoot him? That's right, brother. Damn. Better days. Oh, it's expensive. Someone's gonna pay for it. I am Senator, Darthorzhener. Hard enough to make it a man in this galaxy.

All right, here we go. Is this Half-Life 2? Is this Half-Life 2? Yeah. Yeah. Work. I'm good car. I see it.

Senator stage on the industry has been in place and filter the notice well that was easy you got to call you got him call you that wasn't the deal deals change not this one I come along or we walk only you the others must wait

well that was easy you gotta let him call you that oh so where'd you find him night market he was trying to By a creative electro-protechon boss from a chagrin-ard stewarder. How do you make the arrest? Can I have to sleep, same as us?

When the senator gets a hold of you, you'll wish you were dead. Damn. This feels staged. This way, China. That's because it is. It's a cutscene. It's actually kind of, it's ironic you say that. This isn't real one. The senator requested I bring a prisoner to him a lot.

He is breathing with the business. Oh, shit. Oh, there he is. Is the district secure? Yes, Senator. It better be. Mead his dogs are always sniffing about. Jedi is a rare quarry these days.

What else have you brought me? What's in the box? See that he is paid. It's been a pleasure, Senator. Hope this isn't the last time we can do business together. The Renegade Jedi Cal Kestis, you have made quite a name for yourself. Sabotaging weapons depots, disrupting supply lines, flaunting this for everyone to see. The failed coup on Norcet.

That was your doing, was your doing, was... Damn, so I really fucked a lot of stuff up, huh? What do you want, Senator? Confession? You already know I've been working with Saul Guerrero. Before I deliver you to the Emperor, you will lead me to the remaining Jedi. No use resisting. I'll find out one way or another.

Sometimes all it takes is a speech. But in there, I have other tools at my disposal. Or maybe I'll just use this. Oh shit. Your master's lightsaber. Jarro Tapa, a traitor like you. And to think one day our children will ask, what is this thing?

This relic of a corrupt institution destroyed by its own arrogance. Arrogance is a trap a lot of us fall into, Senator. I'm sure the emperor won't mind if I deliver you to him in pieces. What? Did you really think you could capture me? You've got classified military intel stored on your yacht. Just brought it right to me. Oh shit.

You burn for this. That's mine. Oh, uh, let's see. Um, three. Stop the Jedi! Said, fuck that. Okay okay Okay I know you got senator

Okay, I'm almost one off the edge Okay, how do I roll Yeah, I don't know how I roll Okay, Hugh is heel, all right Okay I'm trying to figure out how to play Nice, tab, okay How to change that?

Why is Roll tab? What? Not so fast, Senator. Hit it, BD. Oh, no. Now it comes to us. We got him now. It's coming a little hot. Uh...

Oh, really hot. This is just in a habit. We're not gonna have to press like X or something, right? It's okay. Oh, these things happen. Yeah. We gotta get to that yacht. Okay. So why don't we just go over there and get to it?

That was a close one, buddy. I think I'm doing it right. Oh, oh, maybe I go up here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, got it. This is cool. This is like Super Mario Brothers. Yeah, I remember this. It's Super Mario World. This is basically the same game. Okay, so how the fuck do I get over there? Um, I guess we'll go this way.

I'm not really sure. Oh, that was convenient. I was wondering how to get down there. Oh shit, okay. Alright, well, great. We're gonna be just fine guys. Oh shit. Okay, and let's go loop this. And can I lose this? Or wait, how do I loot?

E is for open, okay, good. Okay, emitter, patience, all right. Okay, let me start changing some stuff. Okay, so controls, maybe? How do I change? Edit controls, maybe? I just want to edit the controls. I can't bind mouse buttons.

Oh, no, I can. No, I can't. Okay. All right, let's see how this works. Hurry up, buddy. Okay. Oh, let me change this too. Okay.

Much better. All right, two. There we go. Before the Empire does. All right. Oh, shit. That's those guys. Wait, target an enemy.

Whoa, wait. No, I messed up. Okay. Nice. So like Securo. Okay, cool. All right, got it. Heal is unbound. No, it's not. It's bound on to R. Never until the senators got stashed.

I hope it's worth the risk. So you can double jump, that's good. Okay, so now where do I go? Now I actually get to play the game. Oh, maybe I go down there. Okay, um... Oh, I see, I go up here. I didn't even look at that. Okay.

I guess it's not that way. It must be this way. I see. Death counter. I didn't die. I just lost health. I did not die. We can rest there. Okay, great. So, meditation...

Okay, so these are bonfires, right? Light saber. Okay, got it. I get it. Okay, and... Oh, I didn't rest, actually. Let's go. So clicking on it doesn't necessarily do it.

Let me make sure that my heel is actually bound because people made me paranoid. Yeah, it's bound to R. Okay, I thought so. Okay, so what's this? I guess we'll go up here first. I don't know if we should go up here or go over there. Let me check over here first.

Oh, what's this? Hey, BD. Let's go. The fuck? Don't. I beg you, I fought in the war. I doubt that. Clear out. Center.

Oh, shit. Okay. Unbound slice. Okay, that doesn't work. I guess now I have to bind this, too. It's not moving. It's not letting me move. activate BD is this what I need to do okay um okay I feel like I can't go that way to push

oh okay well maybe I should go up here first then oh what's this okay let's go up here first okay that's right okay okay good all right all right all right I'm just gonna look around Let's get going to anything else I'm missing. Okay, uh, yeah, let's go this way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Try Perry. Are Perry and Block combined like they are in Securo? Some kind of rare mineral, I guess.

Yeah. Yes, okay, thank God. Okay, it's just the timing. Yeah, I got it. Over here, BD. So that's the lunch. I feel like that's kind of slow. Oh, wait, no, maybe I should go back.

Yeah, let's go back. Yeah. That's the spirit Vidi. You missed a waterfall part? Yeah, I think I should go back there. Matt? You'll go back eventually, okay. Alright, I'll just go forward then.

TURB- As long as a tank. Now just try and jump over. Oh, it worked. Nice. Okay, got it. Fuck. Okay, got him. Nice.

Okay. And do I have to go through here? I have to go through here. I see him. Don't dodge? I'm trying to figure it out like I just I just started playing the game guys Oh shit. There's no way I can kill all these guys There's no way. There's so many of them fuck Why is it zoom in on his dick? Okay, okay, so now you can use this That's cool like Darth Mall Where is everybody? Okay, dude, this is way better. Holy fuck!

Okay, how do I? Alright, got it. Okay. Okay, I understand now. Alrighty. I think I'm gone. Easy. Nice.

Okay, great. Fuck yeah. Alright. Oh, I didn't understand how it was supposed to work. Getting closer. Hanging in there, BD. I feel like I'm just dead. Fuck. Okay.

I thought he'd stop shooting me. That's not how it works. Use brain. I don't really... Like, if I understand how it works, I'll do it. But I'm not really good at thinking about shit, you know, I just attack. Okay. Yeah, I just have to learn how to attack. That's all. And then I win. It's telling you I don't read. I just play the game. I don't want to read anything. If I have to read anything or learn anything, that's too much. I don't want to do it. I play this game. I want to fucking kill people with a lightsaber. That's it. That seems pretty easy.

Got them? Why do I not get my health back this time? I got my health back last time I didn't get it back this time. Okay, so how the fuck do I get that guy? Deflect? Okay. That's a lot easier than what I was doing. Don't look down. Oh. Oh shit. Bro, it's his storm trooper. He probably won't even hate you. Oh, this guy. Damn.

He says no, bitch. What took you so long? Oh, you know, just hanging out. Taking in the sights. Damn. It's been long since I was on Corrassan. Thanks, boat. Part of the job, Kestis.

Alright, cool. Damn, that guy just helped me. When I saw the beach. When I saw the dock collapse, I thought this heist might be over real quick. Why make it easy for him? Ah, where's the crew? Head into the yacht. We'll meet him there.

No. Oh, and Bravo said no cons. No comms it is. Bravo knows best. All right, let's see what this is. Cut. Oh, that makes sense, because it's like a lightsaber. Kub and Liz are probably starving by now.

Hungry, Klatwinians. Ooh, you don't want that. Okay. the Corita job sometime. Looks like that factory stopped the yacht. I'd go that a win. Reunite with your crew at the yacht. Must be making mischief. Let's not keep some waiting. I...

This ship, where is it? Maybe it's over here. Yeah, it's gotta be over here. This is the place right after the bunch. Yeah, okay. Think you can knock down that crate? Where the shot? Is he gonna send me like a... A thing or something to...

Oh, I get it. Ooh. That jetpack candy. Remind me to tell you how I got it sometime. Oh, I see. Oh shit. Just talk to you to move like that. My master.

Every time I fell, it got me back on my feet. Uh, is it this? Sounds like a good teacher to me. No? Okay. Um... Okay. Stormtrooper patrol. Looking for us? Better us than the yacht, yeah?

Let's just go beat the ass. Oh wait oh we go up this way okay Wait no I'm trying to go up there I'm trying to go I'm trying to get up to okay got it it's fine We figured it out jetpack it's not a big deal okay now what? Control see that cable on it Wait okay it's open this up too See what's in here. Ooh a box

What's in the box? Of course. Who gives the fuck about pain? This is not, yeah, this is not a big loot situation at all. This is a big bullshit situation. The bucket heads below. No going around them. They go through them.

Got some company and it isn't friendly. Hey, fellow. What the fuck? I got your back. Help BD. Fuck. Bhop, heel. Fuck.

I thought they're not supposed to hit me. Nice. Okay. Okay. Holy shit, man. There's a lot of shit that happens in here. Oh my god, I'm out of heels already. Troopers coming. I'm getting farmed.

Sure thing. On your signal. Oh shit. Control. Okay, good, well I'll just have him kill all everything No, no bro, like it's you. That's you man, like Go for it, man, go for it, that's you, let's you Nice, nice, good job.

You can fight. Yeah, you too. I don't speak binary, but I hear you, BD, team effort. Okay, so now what? Let's try up that way. Quit reading my mind, Jedi. How do I get over there? Oh shit. We're gonna have to do that. Okay.

Oh, fuck. Well, the platforming in this is kind of hard. Okay, and let's go ahead. We're gonna rest right now. Then stances. Okay. Skills. Gathering Tempest.

Oh, that's badass. Look at the spins. I want to go with this. Okay, it doesn't let me. All right. Okay, I don't have any of that. All right, we're good. Let's go.

Let's keep big. dick in it back on the move big damage always let's go I'm ready to use this new attacks look at watch watch what our sons change the lot of the lines you know outside that's new trouble okay can I open this box no oh shit I got to fight all these guys speaking of trouble let's avoid that patrol okay good agreed we're gonna fight out Cal I'm game if you are all right let's do that wait what Broke droids. Oh bro, that's nah, nah, nah, no, bro.

Like, yeah, right. Sorry, when you play with me, the game is rigged from the start. Oh shit, how do I go there? Oh, okay, I see, I see. Okay, we're chilling, we're chilling. We're moving fast now. Now we're in the game. Are you coming?

A fuck! Four. Fuck. Dude, how do you aim it? How do you lead his shots? Okay, let me go kill this guy's dead. Okay, we kill all that, yeah. Okay. Jesus.

Help me, BD. God, him. Okay, all right, they're dead. I mean, are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me with that? He literally sent that thing over to fucking kill me. This is insane. I got blown up by my own guy. It's not even fair. Okay. Let's try this again. It's fine. I got it. Oh. I forgot about that.

Got him, got it's got it. It's fine, it's fine. I'm here to heal. Oh! Oh, they blow up on purpose! I get it now, okay. That makes a lot of sense. Pull up half help? No, I just... I didn't know what to do.

I got your back now. Twice. Holy fuck! Okay. Just foreign attack Perry. Alright. Got Jukmore. I just... I need to play the game and learn.

to play the game and learn what to do. Right? I'm an extremely slow learner. So like, what would take a normal person, like probably a minute to learn, it'll take me like an hour. Okay. I need some help.

All right? Hey, buddy. It's dim. Oh, do I fall down? Okay. Okay. Now where's the other ones? Let's double back. Okay, they're all dead.

Nice. We win. Fuck! Okay, oh shit. It's this dick sucker. I'm gonna stay away from him. That's not my problem, that's his. Okay, open Sesame. Okay, it doesn't work.

I think BD wants you to knock that down. Never use this force push? I don't know what that is. I'll learn that probably in a few days. Got to get up there. Any ideas? Push this. That's two. Okay. Shit, okay.

Okay, I got it. All right, we figured it out. We're good. Everything's okay. The Emperor turned the Jedi Temple into his palace. Yeah, doesn't the Empire does best? All righty. Something you love.

And make it something you can't stand the sight of anymore. You're doing really well so far. There it is. There is. Bro. I'm parkour God. How long you've been working with Saw Guerrera? Not long.

A few jobs here. Okay, where do I go? I can tell you impressed him. Maybe I go this way. Maybe I go to what I do and I don't ask the wrong questions. Maybe I'm a, maybe I'm. Okay. Oh, okay. Got them. Nice. Be able to use that crane to get across the bridge. Oh shit. That's a bad boy over there.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Someone moved against the senator. Guzdy to go against say, Jeff. From what I hear, his enemies end up in turbo talks. Hostiles. Okay. Just go back. I don't want to have to deal with them. Bro, how he get me? Fuck!

I knew I shouldn't have run in like that, man. That was such a mistake. I wasn't thinking. Okay, let's go again. Get the shortcut? I don't know where that is. I'm not liking this. Shit! Motherfucker.

I... Got him. We're good. I'm in bad shape, buddy. Let's take him down. Fuck. Nothing. I'm pretty hurt

This is so bad this is so bad Slow up enemies nearby I thought it was up how I pressed four though I thought I could press four Fuck I'm done I'm dead I'm dead I'm so fucking dead man I'm so fucking dead Oh bro I'm so dead

Let's take them down I got distracted Okay Try that again Oh, is it this? Oh, I bet it is. No, no, no, no, you can't do it. Yeah, I can't see it. Okay, here we go.

Zipline before you jump down to the guys, okay. Got him. Oh, I fucking killed his ass. Bro, he tried... Okay, we're good. I see it. Nice. Nice. Contact. I'm with you, Cal. Oh, fuck.

I didn't see him. Okay, we're good. Nice. The door and that's okay, I guess that's where the, yeah, that's where I just came from. That's cool. Okay, perfect. Oh, okay, is this a boss? Right here, bud. Oh, god, bro. Oh my god, it's so hot bro. I have,

such a hard time learning shit okay uh let's see now we gotta go this way to fight the boss again red attacks yeah but it's just like i'm not programmed to think like that let's get his ass he's not putting a effort in learning i can't learn new games uh quickly it takes a long time for me to learn new game oh fuck Oh god. Alright. Try this one again.

Beat the shit out of you? Yeah, I just, uh... It's like, I'm a very slow learner. It's hard for me to learn and understand new things. I know it's stupid. It's just, I'm just not, I'm not like mentally programmed to learn shit quick. Like after I understand it, it'll be fine, but I need to get to that point. That'll teach him.

teach him okay here we go maybe yeah yeah maybe I should try out the other one how do I try out the other sort the other type of sword but there we go okay it's just scroll all right let's go I see you lunge like that man Jesus now Bdh this Okay, he's dead. Nice. That guy really didn't like you. That's all I think he was a fan of me either.

I don't see a way up. Find something, buddy? What's he got? What's this? Ascension cable. Worker season for construction now. Can you repair it? Cable's a bit afraid.

Not bad shape. Should be a quick patch job. Hmm. So I heard you fought the empire on Kashik. Yeah. I jacked a Walker and broke open an Imperial prison camp single-handed. That one was Beattie. Just the two of you.

And some friends. What about you, new guy? Win this for the credits? Credits never hurt. But I have a daughter. Caught it. Oh, he's probably gonna die. I don't get to see her as often as I'd like, but at least I can provide for her.

Must be hard. Must be hard being away from her. Is her mother? She's gone. The Empire took her from us. Sorry, taking a lot of people. More every day. You ever use one of those?

I'll figure it out. It was a scrapper on Brock. You've been through a lot for someone so young. Just trying to survive. Aren't we all? Okay. Let's do it. Story cool? Yes, alright.

Press Unbound to grapple the certain points in... Oh fuck. Where is it? No, no, no. Okay. Got it. Got it. Good. I got a few.

You're gonna need it. Okay. Brom ready to kill more stuff. That wasn't so hard. Back to the bridge? Hope the crew's doing all right. If Gavs gets bored, she might slice into Imperial Coms for fun. Is she back good?

Uh-oh. Cynica trained. got on the wrong side of her employers. There we go. Nice. For the Republic. It's military. Medical.

I just start working with Kuven Liz. Okay. Uh, wait. Oh, I have to go down. A hundred got the drop of me. Twins threw him down a mine shaft. Friends ever since. How do I?

Okay. Oops. Oh, wow was already here. I might as well rest right now. That way I get all my health back and everything. Yeah. Okay. Solid crew, Custis.

Oh, I'm pulling my way. You got us to the senator. Sounds like you want to double my cut. That right, BD? All right. The movement is really good. Yeah, I'm actually impressed by the movement. Good to see you.

Hey, Bravo. Yeah, like, to me, that's what matters a lot about games. It's like, how does it play? This game plays very well so far. A bit of a talker. I don't understand the Perry system yet, but, you know, we'll figure it out. Senator can't call for help, but he's locked in. What are you tell you?

You try knocking? Any sign of Cal? Bautisa! Batiza! Pottisa! Oh, those are my boys! The senator had you in there stuffed and mounted. Hey, I want to cut at that.

Hey, Ka, if you die, I get the mantis, right? Sorry, Gabs, not mine to get. Hmm. So, what's the plan? That yacht is a sign our R.C. Senator as military and telling his personal terminal here. Could give us a fighting chance against the Empire. Probably.

maze, Captain's the cubic blast doors. Even the twins can't pry those bad boys open. How are we getting in? Can we just cut it open with a lightsaber? You fellas got the yacht down, Jeff Pack. Then I'll work my slicer magic. Yeah, you just, you just get the lightsaber and cut it open. Problem solved. I'll grab a transport. Back before you know it. Let's do this. With difficulty, the hard one that's gonna make me mad. Okay, let's go up here.

I got it. I got that's me, this me, those things. good that. Thanks twins. Oh look how fast I am. Oh I see I see so this is gonna be a real situation huh? God what but why can I not just do oh there are you. Okay just appreciating the view what am I looking for? Nice. I gotta take a lot of torque. I'm talking to Jedi torque. I think I can handle that. Brom I just be I'll just be I'll I'm ready to beat some ass. Hey, Cap, I tried to move those beams, but... Yeah.

When do I ever get the big lightsaber? Like, I just, uh... It's like a two-handed, like Kylo Ren lightsaber. I want that one. Later, I want it now. No, I don't want it late. I don't want it in 15 hours. I can't.

Get off the... Okay, I have to be that one. Gaps. Can you tell the twins to pull down the yacht? I got it, I got it. Oh shit. Why's you guys hand out? Okay.

I'm always careful. Oh, bro, this is crazy. What the fuck? Alright, so we go this way, and then... Over there, I see this. Got him. I'll listen it up for you. There it is. And I'm gonna get inside now.

Come on, we'll bring you down. We'll bring this dick boy right over here. Wait, do I have to actually do that, John? I guess so. Okay, that's not going to be a big deal. All right. Bye thought. Okay, yeah, never mind on that one.

All time for me and my lovely assistant to show you how it's done. Okay, let's go. Let's go reintroduce ourselves to the senator. There we go. All right, let's kill him. I'm ready. Bust that shit down. Alrighty. Nice.

What's up, pussy? What's up, bitch? They'll execute me. Maybe I could change his mind. Oh shit. I'll bring it back. I use the bathroom. I actually have to change my laundry because I'm trying to wash all my bed sheets and shit. I'll be back in probably one minute.

You will give me access to your terminal. I can't. Trust reward. Unlock it and you'll be rewarded. I'll be rewarded. I will unlock the terminal. Oh, I picked the right one. Nice.

If he moves, blast him. Oh, my pleasure. Alright, BD. See what we got. Oh shit. We gotta kill all those guys. Uh-oh. The breakthrough we were hoping for. Years of fighting.

then we've kind of slowed them down. What did you expect? You lost. The Republic is dead. It was killed by politicians just like you. Do you think I wanted Uttapal to join the empire? The compromises I made created a future for my people. I've been to Uttipal, Senator.

They spit your name out like a curse. At least they are alive. Why fight when you can't win? Surrender tastes bitter at first, Cal. But sweet, sweet. With time, free me, we'll not a deal. You gonna shoot him? No, Senator.

Oh, okay. Someday when your children see this, they'll know the Jedi never stopped fighting for them. How disappointingly naive. Hey, the twins are getting that ravenous look. Let's wrap it up before we have another Corita incident on our hands. Yeah. What about him?

He's coming with us. Okay, let's take their food to go. Ginger Jedi? Yeah, that is kind of funny, right? There's no way they could really be Jedi's. Okay, let's go. He's a Joker. Is he? He'll kill me.

Oh, I don't know about that. Depends on whether you cooperate. That's a skill Senator's prize, right? Cooperation. Talk to Senator C-Jan. You'll pay for this, Calcasness. Let me go. Go or your friends will suffer.

They'll find you sooner or later, Jedi. We got a plan for the senator? Still thinking it through. Just shoot him. We could always ask Kub and Liz to see whether the senator can fly. Yeah, let's just shoot him. I think that's the best idea so far. Just get rid of him.

Oh, yeah. We shoot him after that. You should always target the empire. Yeah. Feels good to make a difference. No. They're loaded filthy rich make the huts look clean by comparison I bet this senator has more credits

Oh shit is it Darth Vader? Oh my god Uh-oh Why you've been chasing shadows I have been caught harboring a traitor Oh shit This isn't me by the way this is cinematic Oh no

Oh, oh, okay, let's go down here. Maybe, maybe not. Okay. Bye soon. Gotta get to the mantis. Okay. Yeah, we'll mourn later. Gotta keep moving. Damn, so everybody just died. Hey yo, well fuck him, you know? Like that's life. See how we just killed his ass? It was nothing.

Got to stay one step ahead. Jump toward marked walls to perform a wall jump. We get our health back to. Can I level up? No. All right, let's do it. Okay, let's go. Come on, come on, let's do it again. Maybe we just go up here instead. Who's this? Who's this? Why is he? Why is he attacked? That's dumb, I was out of that. Okay, okay. How he gets the... How? How he gets the... how? How? How? How he get the... How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How? How would get me like that?

Okay, it doesn't work. Okay, so I saw like Secura where you jump on their head. Okay. Well, I thought you could jump on their head. You can't. Put his dick off. Ooh, all right. Nice.

Is this a big chest? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. What's this? What's this? Is this free loot? Give me the loot.

Stem canister. Wow. How prove useful. Oh, is that an estis flask? Flask? Did I just get Nesta Flask? Nice. This is a big good situation. All right.

Let's go. Fuck you, man. How the fuck you're supposed to avoid that? Throw me stymdi. Thanks so much, buddy. Use two? Oh yeah, probably is a good idea. That way's blocked. Come on. Yeah, probably is the idea, yeah.

That's smart. Easy. No, I've got to fight some boss. He's gonna be behind this. Let's go. Let's do it. Oh, it's this way. Not yet, yeah, apparently. You can't really cut it in half. You can only cut it to the piece that they allow you to cut it to. You can't make your own serving. Okay, what's this? Knee for Interact. My God. Force essence acquired. Maximum force increased.

That seems good. I mean, that must be good. Oh shit, I ain't need you that. Frog Z? They're so stupid. They're so dumb. I'm never gonna use that, by the way. It's just an annoying keybine.

We're not gonna use that ever. That's right. That's right. Can I like, uh... Can I crouch? If I walk really slow. Fuck, I'm retargeting for some reason. Help me. Okay

Fuck I'm gonna die I'm done I'm dead I'm dead Shit shit shit shit Slow learner I it take me a long time man Y'all just got to understand that like this everything takes me a really long time to learn That's right bitch I didn't mean to get it by that that mistake hide up against the wall and didn't we just get them What?

Did I do that? That's crazy. It's tough, tough. Okay, nice. Okay. Got them. Alright. We'll go and kill these guys in the top first. Fuck, it's that... Oh, it's one of them. Shit!

Okay, alright, we got them. No big deal. Winners win. All right. We're doing really well so far. Okay. Let's look around here. And now we'll open up the door. No, I just don't have, I don't have a sprint bound on a convenient key, so I just don't use it.

Let's move, BD. Okay. Did I get any levels? Oh my god, when do I get levels? All set. Oh shit, I can't kill all these guys. They want me. They've got me.

Nice, nice, nice. Keep going. Okay. We got them. Good to see you. Spoke too soon. I'll take the Inquisitor. Keep that other gunship off my back. On it. Okay. This looks like a boss fight area. Nice. Nice. Get his ass. Nice. No big deal. We got him. Great.

Fuck. Oh. Now how do I get back over there? I guess I go this way? No. Oh, maybe I go down this way. Yeah, this must be it. Okay. Let's kill his ass. Shit! Wait, did I win? I think I won. Nice.

But you're hurting bad inside, Kestis, I can't sense it. I can sense it. Oh, the guilt you're feeling for. those fools you led to their deaths makes you so so predictable oh shit dude it's just it's so fast what the fuck just spamming no i i don't understand what to do let's do it again dodge yeah it's just a i i don't know how to dodge like to play with my we got through this i got a heal it says the heel it says the I thought I dodged I need help I thought I got me just about I only got one more okay now I just dude how do I

oh my god oh my god oh god all right all right all right shit can't dodge if the boss goes red wait no I thought you can't parry just be it I don't understand how works I don't understand this game okay so let me see can I dodge this or what okay so I can dodge it okay toss me would be the embrace what shit

It's intoxicating. I'm gonna learn this. You're playing like Dark Souls and play Sequeiro? I need to just learn how to play. That's the problem. I need to just sit there and just practice. Because like, I need to understand it completely because I don't know, like... As I said, it's like a mental disorder. I can't learn things quickly. Brace yourself, Cious!

Another... Fuck. Your death will make me a blessing. Now. How? Force when blue. Okay. I guess I'll try that.

Okay. As you don't read, I don't like reading. I just want to play a game. Anything complicated, I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to do with it. I just want to... Play the game. Yeah. Okay, so, uh, maybe I control Z.

Uh, good one. Two. Don't push me away. Gotta be trash. What, how the fuck do you avoid that? I like to play with my . No help you, D. My turn.

Fuck. Fuck! Uh, okay. Oh, nice, so now I've got two lightsabers. Well, fuck yeah. Think that'll save you? Your limbs off. Feet, are, beef.

Fuck! Okay, can I use the dual stance more? Or is it only unlocked in that last face? I don't need to focus. Stances. I... Come on, buddy. Okay, it's after this fight, okay.

What the... How the fuck do I have heard that? I'd like to play with my food. Dude, this is, I don't understand this. Over here. Here, Jedi. I just, oh my God. Just wait and parry?

I don't understand how, I just, I don't know what to do. I gotta keep trying it. Okay. Enjoying this? Okay. You have force push? I don't understand how it works. I don't understand the game yet.

It's like Bell Garlo? Well no, it-it-you can't hit her when mind reading. Yeah, you can because I hit her before. I've been dreaming of this day. Bro, it's so fast. Okay. Debtable. Once and for all. Shit!

Hey, Biddy. Time to die, Brackerass! Oh my god. GameC is that you can spam more than you really can. Can, yeah, it's like I get animation locked. I don't really understand like the very windows wall in this. Okay. There's no attack cancel? Yeah. Fuck, that's fast man. That is so fast. Okay. I hate games don't have attack cancel? No, it's not, I just, I just don't know how the game works. Buddy. Nice.

He betrayed our order. Asana tied. He said no, bitch. Okay, well, I guess we use the, um, um, The other one, right? Okay. Uh, yeah, let's use that. Oh, I have a skill point. How do I do that? Oh, I don't know. Who cares? Okay. Uh, let's use this. Maybe I go up this way. Is that not? Do I not do that? How? Oh. Oh. Nice. Now I get my skill point. Need to center myself. Okay. Um, it's rest. Stances. No, no, I didn't mean to do that. Skills. lightsaber dual wheel that's good I'll have that point too okay I want to try and use these double lightsaber's more this looks badass bravo are you there let's get back to the mantis if the others made it out they'll meet us at the hangar if not okay all right let's kill this guy here oh if they have the shoulder thing that means they're like a lead nice okay how

why get over there. I see. Oh shit, I gotta do all this. I thought I could get it without having to do it. It is what it is goes. Okay. There we go. There we go. There we go. Big dick in them. Nice. Fuck you. Okay. And I guess now we use this and we go up there. Alright, no problem. I got it. I understand. All right. Not too bad. And here's close. Okay, what about this? Let's go over here. Oh, should I go over there? I don't know if I should. Oh, wow. Are these good guys or bad guys? Those are good guys.

Thanks to this crazy son of a Gundark. You're hurt. I'll manage. What happened to the Inquisitor? Dead. The twins. I should have. They knew what they signed up for. We need to get topside and transmit that intel to Saul Guerrera.

That's how we honor the fallen. Bd, call the ships. The valet service I was hoping for. Bravo. You got overwatch? I want it. Overwatch. Alright. I'll draw the fire.

You hit them when they are looking. Let's get some payback. See you in the next grabber. Alright, let's go, let's just go fucking, uh, just like hit everybody with the lightsaber and shit. Should be no problem. Let's go this one. Ooh, what's this? What's a boss? Kind of fight him?

Maybe I have to like get a charge for it or something like that. Let's do this. I'm gonna heal real quick. Alright. Back to it. It's big dick time. Thanks, Bravo. That's enough. I'll break through. Okay, great. He did... oh, he did everything else. Okay, cool.

That's good. Looking like a Jedi. That's because I am a Jedi. Fuck. That's a bomb. The deflect mechanic is pretty good. Why to cite these guys? Oh, it doesn't work like that. Okay. He just dim. Bravo.

Thank you, buddy. He never should have crossed us. One inside him? Yeah, that's exactly why I did. We got company again. Okay. No, I was out of that. Okay, is this thing gonna shoot me again or not? Help, please.

Okay, he dead. Cut his fucking arms off. That was an elite. Maybe we go inside the Millennium Falcon here. I don't think I'm supposed to be on here. Maybe I have to talk to these guys. That one's all yours, boat. Had a hunch this might be a hot exit.

See you both in the air. Ready? This has been a great first date and all, but I still haven't gotten paid. Locator beacon. Got the other on the mantis. When things cool off, come and find me. We'll settle up. Yeah.

I can trust you. You saw the Intel. B. More work to be done. Looks like I made the cut, huh BD? Is BD stand for Big Dick? May the Force be with you. You're a great fighter, Cal. Let's see how well you fly. It is? Yeah. Okay, I thought so. I just want to make sure. How we look at BD? Whatever it is.

I'll have to wait until we get some place safe. Is this me? No traffic. Looks like this portals under maintenance. Yeah, it's totally made. What I mean? As soon as we've reached the surface, jump to light speed. I take the risk.

We've already overstayed our welcome. Okay. We've got company. On my mark, hit the brakes. We'll drop behind them. Copy that, Bravo. Damn. Nice work, everyone.

Hope that's the last of them. Not a fan of long goodbyes. More coming. I'll peel off, draw a few away. Thanks, boat. Good luck. You too, Cal. See you soon. Can't shake him. Hold on.

That's one way to do it. Learn that move from you. There's a exit. We're almost there. Oh shit. Use the boost to get through. We're trapped. You've got to go.

Gotta go fast. You're down. We're almost... Oh, is he dead? Damn. Sometimes you get it. Sometimes you get God. That's life.

Took some hits back there. Mind running diagnostics while I transmit the intel Br, everybody died except him. Yeah, like all the people in that picture, they're all dead. Yeah, damn. He's the Jedi, that's he's the Jedi survivor. That's where it comes from. Get my best side, right?

It's off my table, kid. It's as we hoped. This book is a copy from the Jedi archive. That's great, sir. Wish you could have stopped the Empire from getting the rest. Patience. This war won't be won't be one soon. War by us alone. The galaxy is vast, Troyd.

And I have seen only a little of what it has to offer. But one day, I will return to death a mere. And whisper what I have learned to my sleeping sisters. They were nothing invited. You know, it's not... We're watching his phone. ...a family recipe like this. It's good.

Could you see more salt? How much salt is bad for you? It's wonderful gris. I'd actually pay credits for this. Oh yeah? Hey, I might start charging you, Cal. Hey, does anybody else smell something burning? Let me guess. She's dead.

No? Okay. Giro's failing. You need that. Any ports nearby that won't turn us in for a reward? Pull up the COBO system. That's where you settled down. Out in the middle of nowhere. It would be a good place to lay low.

If anyone knows how to fix up the mantis, it's greasedritis. Think we can make it. Okay. Oh my god, he's not even driving. You know how he is about mess. What's this? BD1 assembly. Oh my god, what's all this?

Workbenchers. Light sabers can be customized. Change your blade color. Let's get this back on the work bench. Okay. Here, could use a few tweaks. All set. Oh, it's lit. Yeah, let's go.

Let's head up to the cockpit. The cockpit. All right, let's go. Go over here, see what this is. Mace Windo? Yeah. I was going to make it red, but it doesn't let me. Oh, wow. Only a new game plus.

Okay. Let's let. This was failing all over. Guy, I think. We're starting sublight engines. Nice one, buddy. Nice. Are we gonna run these guys over?

Oh, no, my. We're not gonna make it to the hangar. We gotta put her down. Hold on, BD. Good. Not good at all. Does he have a license? Bro, he was texting and driving.

That's why he died. He's looking at pictures on his phone. Completely fried. We won't be flying again without repairs. Yep. Okay. This is us. This must be the outpost. I guess we finally get to see Grease's can'tina.

Okay. Come on. Oh, wow. This is it. Okay, I can do that. It's the game. It's so calm. Bravo would have like this. Come on, buddy. Yep, FPS seems really good.

I've got up to there. I see. Easiest game of my life. Okay. Oh my God. That's a dragon. That's a dragon. fucking dragon. Giving me a closer look.

Who's that? That is one big beast. We've gotta kill his ass. We have our target. Now let's reach it. Okay, close. How do I press C? Okay, that can serve it. Okay. Read? I don't read. If it's on the screen, I don't see it.

Last time I saw a lucre-hole was Braca. Long time ago. Okay. What would you say now? Come on. Mances won't repair itself. Nice. We'll see, this is totally fine. It's like now we'll get the, uh, we'll get our health back. Training. What the fuck? Training.

Why the fuck do I need training? Let's go. What's this? Okay, I'll look. Doesn't look like this gate is working. No, it doesn't work. It's over here. Yeah, the frame rate is really good. Everything's totally fine.

I was expecting this to be like, fuck. up. Oh. Shut the fuck up, bitch. Where's she at? Where's she at? I don't see her. What? Rusted. Like everything else around here.

Okay. Um, can I go up here? No. Could go over here? No. Okay. Now let's go this way. Nice. Okay, it doesn't want me to do that. How the fuck did he hit me?

I need a stem, buddy. Thanks, BD. Rolled feels a bit railroading. That's okay. As long as the game plays good. That's what matters. Okay, what's this? Maybe we should take a prospecting. Priority shield. We got the ass. All right. Grace gotten himself into.

This is no big deal. We're popping off now. This is going great. What the fuck? What the fuck out of here, bitch? I thought those were danger birds. I see. Damn. Oh no, this shit is nuts. Look at that. God, how much they talk. E-examine. They were right. What a view.

Did I just unlock an achievement? Listen to the dialogue? Okay, if I can remember, I'll do that. Nice work. That'll save some time. Uh, ooh, it's over this way. Oh, I see. It's up here. Okay. Okay, we got it. Oh, wow.

Oops. Another day, another droid crushed. Remained or lost. Oh, who's that asshole? I don't rather than me, poor clinker. Or you, for that matter, you're worth more. Affirmative. Target Bonner escape.

You notice. Huh? Well better it runs away than runs us through Borders subdu the beast conquer the area I know the orders tin head we'll get back on its trail soon enough Report your crushed comrade here first though Affirmative Bich Oh what the fuck

up here Jesus. I will break you. Fuck. Jesus, this shit is hard. Okay, let's go up here. Ooh, a box. Nice, I guess I didn't see this before.

Oh, this is a shortcut, I see. No force run? I just don't really think of that kind of stuff, you know? I just play the game. It takes me a long time to play a game the right way, naturally, because my brain just doesn't learn things. Oh fuck. I need one. Oh fuck. Here is stronger enemies multiple times to stagger them. Okay. One shot you? Yeah, this is on the hard use the four. I gotta, I just have to, I have to know what's going on. Like I have to learn

it on my own. I can't, nobody else can teach it to me. I have to learn it. Oops. Oh, I just, dude, it's so fast. Got him. Impressively fast. Got him. All right. We have to download him. Ooh.

Sinking. Got to move. That is a lot of tar. Be careful. Okay. So they explode. Good to know. Sound good?

What do I do? I don't like this. What do I do? Hold three, then two towards the wall. Alrighty. Ooh, what's over here? Stuck ship, huh? Tell me about it. Wish we could help.

Okay. Maybe we go this way? No, I think this is the next path. Let me check this place first. Okay. Stuff gets everywhere. Oh shit! I can die from that.

I didn't understand that at all. Oh wow. There he is. We're definitely getting closer. I think I see your way out. Just past that creature. Okay, let's go this one. Got him.

Easiest game of my life. Wait, it's not dead yet? Oh, there it is. What the fuck? What? Oh my god. Oh! Get the souls? Yeah, chest right in front of the entrance.

I didn't see it. I see it now. Short beard. Bitch a bitch. Alright. I'm gonna try and do it again. And you are... ...wee, John. We will be heroes. Jesus. Okay, I might do one more. I'm gonna call it for today. Okay, all right, we're gonna get them this time

Here we go Fuck, I can't I... Okay, all right, all right, all right, I'm done, I'm done Oh god Yeah, I just got fucked Didn't know there's two more, yeah, there are Unless jumping more dodging and peril, I just I panic, that's all, just panic The 2v1s are tough.

I just don't like... As I said, I genuinely don't like playing new games on stream because I don't like having to learn new stuff ever. So like, it's hard for me to learn and play and enjoy a new game until like a couple of days into it. Because I just have a really, like, hard time learning things. Yeah, I just...

I'm just really bad at... Like, no, like, doing anything new. It takes me, like, a few days after I, like, understand it, it's fine. But, yeah, I just, I can't learn. Like, I get so overwhelmed mentally. It's like a fucking autism thing, I think. I have no idea. Learn?

I just don't. Like, my brain just shuts down because I have to process so much new information. I just can't think anymore. I'm playing the game wrong. Maybe read. I can't read and retain information. in like a new game. I'll just read it,

and then it'll be gone out of my mind in like one second. Okay, all right. I'll see you guys later. All right, I'll see you guys later.