Asmongold TV - So I Played Avowed.. It’s Better Than I Thought | Asmongold

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

So I Played Avowed.. It’s Better Than I Thought Subscribe to Asmongold TV on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AsmonTV Disclaimer: This podcast is an independent project created by a viewer using content from the YouTube channel Asmongold TV. The purpose is to make his content more accessible to those who prefer audio formats, helping more people engage with the ideas presented in his videos. This podcast is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or officially associated with Asmongold. All rights to the original content remain with Asmongold TV. If there are any concerns or requests regarding this podcast, please reach out. --------- Keywords: streaming highlights, gaming commentary, esports commentary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gentlemen, a controversial game. Shrouted. We did not even know a month ago if this game was going to release. People thought it was going to be delayed. And they said, no, it's not. It's coming out today. And here it is. Does y'all ready?

Why did the music go away? It's a bug? All right. Let's see. Give me a minute. I'm going to use a bathroom. Tell me if it turns back on. Yeah, tell me if it turns back on, guys.

It worked. Hey, we got the music back. Not a bug. All right. Let's do it. Bro, the devs are watching. Let's get it. Aura. Aora.

A world where mortals live, die, and are reborn through the turning of the wheel. In a cycle of reincarnation, watched over by the gods. Oh, wow. Oh. Our gods. Some of whom love us. More than others. Your home.

The Adiran Empire is treasured by Wodica. Who's baldy? Our lady of law and vengeance. The burned queen. But our goddess has lately turned her eyes from us. And our empire has suffered. Sounds bad. Votes.

Famine. challenges to rightful rule. We lack a common purpose, but we could find it in the living land. That's what we have to go. A rich and lawless island settled by fugitives. This is America. Exarchs. And us.

Yet the more we free this place from danger, the more the land fights back. Shit. And now, as our colonists crowd into Paradis, the last safe city, the locals find themselves crowded out. Oh, they got gentrified. Get them out. You were born to a family in our Adiran Empire. And in a rare turn of the wheel, you came into this world, a godlike, touched by a patron god in the womb. To some, a blessing.

To many, an abomination. You grew up an outsider, but I saw potential in you. Thank you. Potential and an opportunity. Yeah. And within my court, you found purpose. Now I call upon your vow to our empire and name you my end boy. Okay.

Venture forth in the name of your homeland and secure our future. So I'm on a mission from the king? Damn. What the fuck is this? What is this burning man? Oh my God. Okay, let's, all right, what do we have here? Okay, this is, holy shit, what the fuck is this?

Why they got all this weird shit? What the hell? What the fuck is all? What the fuck is? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh no! It's like a Dark Souls NPC.

I think we're gonna start with this guy. Yeah, let's start with this guy right here. Okay, um, and let's go look at it. Alright, so that's the preset. And so you can be either a girl, a dude, or a girl, or a dude, okay? All right, body type skin tone. Let's see.

I'm gonna be white as fuck, obviously. Yep, there we go. Temperature, big white. Okay. All right. Next, hair. Wait, what? Oh, okay, these are different facial styles. Got it. All right. Wait, can we just get rid of this bullshit? God-like features. Yeah, I'm just gonna get rid of it. This is so... Look at this. Bro, look at these. bro this is some straight up fucking lcc like lsd fucking edm music uh fucking rave like what is this bro absolutely not i'm grute no bro this is like uh i am like a uh i am like a uh like an std uh godlike hair features okay what is this damn bro kidded out. I could be Barnacle, man. We're not going to be Barnacle Man. Sorry. I think it's fucking ridiculous. Absolutely fucking insane. Looks so stupid. We're not going to do that at all.

Okay. So now we have the normal face. Okay. Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, no. Okay, so literally none of them are good. All right, so this is the best, this is the closest one we're going to have. Let me turn it all down. Okay, they're all very ugly. Yes, they are. Okay, so now we have the hairstyles. All right. Naturally.

Okay? Just your basic, basic random hairstyle. All right, that's going to be me in two years. And that's me now. If I cut my hair at least. This was me 15 years ago. Actually, maybe 10 years ago. Ooh, I don't know about that. That's bad. That's real bad.

We don't like that. Okay, let's see. What the fuck? What are these things? He got eyelashes on his forehead? What the fuck? Okay, we got this like your general, you know, lacrosse, varsity, Chad, haircut.

No, I don't like that. What? I'm gonna wear that shit. Oh my God. This is like a George Washington? No. No. No.

No. This is the, uh, this haircut is called the Doge employee. Okay? And then of course you have the killmonger. And then what even is this? What is this? Oh, God. God. Okay, what else do we have? Do we have any decent long hair options?

Uh, let's see. That one's, this is okay, I guess. Nah, no, I don't like that. That's a girl haircut, girl haircut, girl, girl, girl. Jesus, bro. Oh, God. Goth girl? Yeah, no, that's, this one's kind of okay. That one's not. No. Bro. Damn! I feel like we might just go with this. Ah, Jesus. Yeah, go with number three.

You think I should go with number three? All the way up. Dude. Can I at least go with this? Bro, this is so... this is so bleak, man. Oh, God, this is bad. I don't know if I want to go with this. Jesus, three or four?

God. Oh, jeez. I feel like none of the long hair options really do look that that good. So they just don't. They all look like they're for girls. Ah, all right. All right. Fine.

We're going to do it. Okay. Let's see what else I need to do. Hair root color. Am I crazy for thinking that like the hair color is almost perfect already? Let me make it a little bit darker Yeah, I think that's pretty much good Yeah

Yeah, it's about it Okay, good And hair highlight color We don't care about that And let's see, facial hair Okay, so let's look at the facial hair options Oh Oh

Oh Oh wow Oh wow! That's ferocious Okay, let's see. Hmm. I don't like that. No, don't like that.

Not a fan of that. Don't like this. For some reason I don't like that. Uh, damn. What the, why is it parted like that? Honestly, I think we go with this one. Four? Yeah, I...

I think this 4 goes hard Dude This is some fucking Dr. Robotnik shit Like we're not gonna know this is too much man No we're gonna go with this It's too much for me I can't handle this level of masculinity Okay

It's just too much All right we're just gonna set it to the same hair color All right that's actually that's perfect Yeah that actually looks good Okay perfect And then we'll give him some gray hairs in his beard uh is actually gonna work uh okay we're just gonna get rid of it yeah okay so that doesn't yeah all right let's just let's just ignore that and hair okay so we have facial hair all that's good

and then eye size eye properties i'm not gonna fuck around with this too much that seems decent eye position seems fine eye spread Oh, bro, he can... I feel like if you have this option, you shouldn't be allowed to get backstabbed in the game. Okay, um, we'll go with that right there. Eye depth, zero percent. Um, I feel like probably for me, it's probably about like right there.

And then eye angle. Ooh. Um, probably pretty much zero. Uh, more like that. Yeah, like minus 20. Eye color. Uh, It's darker brown.

Okay, good. That should be fine. Perfect. All right, brows. Brow size. Ooh. Okay, probably like right about there. Brow position.

Hey, look at that. That's what I do. Okay. We're going to put it down to here. Brow spread. Yeah, we're going to keep them closer together too. Probably right about there, brow depth. I don't really have a Neanderthal forehead, so brow angle.

Looks so sad. Jeez. Okay, um, all right, that's fine. Eyebrow color, my eyebrows are actually very black. So we're going to put it there. Okay. So that's good. Nose.

All right, nose size. I have a very small nose. Uh, yeah. Actually, pretty much. Yeah, literally minus 80%. Okay, nose position. About right there, I'd say. Nose depth.

Oh, got it. Nose root width. Wait, what? Oh, yeah, I don't have that at all. Yep, about like right there. Okay. Nose tip direction. There we go.

All right, that's good. It's actually pretty accurate. it. Face shape. I felt like right there. Width. Should be good. Depth.

Uh. Okay. That should be fine. Jaw position literally doesn't matter. Because I'm, I have a beard. Problem solved. Nose is not good.

I feel like the nose is good. Mouth does not matter. I have like very thin lips as well. Okay. And then ear. literally nobody cares. The nose point is way off. You're right.

There. Okay. I think that's good. The teeth? No, no. I don't think you can change that. It's more rounded also. I don't know.

I feel like there's not a whole lot of options. I'm sorry to say, guys. You have perfect teeth? Of course I do. All three of them. Okay. Next. complexion style

Um, okay, well, I don't have, ooh, yeah, I'm dirty. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Okay, uh, that, that's completely clean, obviously, not an issue. Lips, don't give a fuck. Lip color, facial scars. Uh, shit.

A big X on his forehead. Are any of these cool? Wow, it looks fucking badass. When we go with that? That looks so cool. Okay. Furty scratches? Uh, yeah.

Actually, maybe it's too much. Yeah, I think that one actually looks cooler. It's like much more subdued, you know? Okay, eyeliner. Uh, look at his face. Look at his face. Oh, wow. Cut my life into pieces.

Look at this. Oh, geez. Oh, what hell? Who the hell? wants any of this shit. Oh my god. Make JD Vance? You think so? A little bit, yeah. All right, we got none of that. No makeup. What's this? Look at some of these. Damn. Oh, shit. The rock high? What the fuck? Okay. Oh, he's got the face. The hand. And um, look at that. That's kind of cool. I feel like none of these are actually cool, though.

like actually we're joking around but is that cool? No it's not it's not cool is that cool uh no I don't think it's cool I'm really thinking about going with this I'm actually thinking I think we go with this

what do you guys think yeah let's do it let's actually fucking do it this is so funny and I should I should have it all the way right super dark pink eye No, bro, no. No.

Oh, God, no. All right. No, I think it needs to be black. Honestly, it does. It does. It needs to be black. Okay. Um, this is so stupid.

Do you guys really want me to do this? No. I, it is, it's so ridiculous. It is. It is, it, I, it is ridiculous. Um, this guy's ready to run for Prime Minister of Canada. Oh shit.

Damn, all right. We got it. Let's just go with nothing, all right? We're going to go with nothing. Arcane Scolar, court auger, unique dialogue. After graduating with honors next,

okay, after your village's crops failed, the strange insights into unsettling manner earned your neighbor's suspicions. You foresaw the torches and pitchforks and fled to high crown where the emperor recognized your talents

and elevated you from a back alley fortune teller to his personal mystic. You have learned how to wield all power from the shadows. All it takes is a dash of influence and a pinch of deception. I like the sound of that. That's badass. Noble, you're born of Etch. Born to humble beginnings driven in desperation by famine.

Nah, it's boring. War hero. You distinguish yourself on the field of battle. The emperor values your loyalty and your grit and your martial prowess. I think Cordogger sounds way way more badass. This sounds way cooler. Yeah, bro, like, you forgot godlike features? No, I didn't forget it.

I remembered to turn it off. Okay, um, okay, attribute points. So how many points do I have? Um, I have points available zero. Oh, okay. Um, so might, build a channel magic, okay. Okay, well, I want that.

Like, how do I... I... Okay. Oh, I see, I see. Okay, so I'm understanding now. So let's remove all of these. Okay. So, we have 10 points available.

We have might, constitution, dexterity, good for builds where mobility, good, improves our abilities like to be in the fray. Do more damage. ideal for casters and rangers great for wizards good for warriors

okay three three resolve three constitutions four mites okay I can't do that so next one dixtarity

I can only put three into one one area all in the might no you can only have three total okay That's good? Game difficulty. Path of the damnation. Okay, let's do that.

All right. I guess that's me too. I guess that's better. Identifier, he, she, they. That's it? Only three? I don't know about that, guys.

Display identifier and character sheet, no. Display Godlight features in game, no. Okay, name envoy. My name! I wanted to change it up a little bit, you know? I want to keep things exciting for you guys. Let's get it. All right.

Gentlemen, we have created the battlemaster. Ready for combat and war. You see that? We're prepared. The bald master? Let's do it. Start the game. Confirm character creation and start game.

Yes. Was that a bird? No, it's a cat. It's like avatar. Poison. Uh-oh. Poison. Oh!

Naturally selected. What do you know of the living land? Those are so vexing. They cannot be true. be true and yet they are those untamed wilds overgrown with the most curious wonders they're gonna eat them and the most dreadful abominations there beats a dark all shit with our heart of that soil something vile stirs beneath the earth that's like the rat in my room

That was clean. I like that. This foul tendrils reach towards us. Graphics look great. This is awesome. The empire itself. I command you. Go to the living lands. Find the cutscenes. Yes, it's a cutscene. Yes, it's a cutscene. The ship isn't gonna sink, is it?

Oh my god. The hopes of an empire rest upon you. They're gonna-the ship's gonna sink. Oh, it's gonna be a shipwreck. Six weeks out. I knew it. I fucking knew it. They stole this from New World.

Only guess, I'm gonna be on the beach now. Okay? Oh my God. I can't believe it. How could this have happened? What's that stupid asshole doing? Why don't we kill him? Who the hell is this?

I'm in the game now. Over here. Okay, a little bit too fast for the turning. Let me just go ahead and make sure I control this keyboard. Okay, this is a lot better. This is a lot better. Alright, let me go on the... actually you know what? I'm not... Let me just play the game why I'm supposed to. Okay, so there you go. You got crouch, shift.

Okay, uh, wait, what did that do? I don't even know what that did. Um, okay. You can punch. Okay, so you can punch with bullet. hands all right good all right i can drain my stamina obviously i'm going to just move this up a little bit so you guys can see my health and everything okay i got hands that's right oh doop do you give me that bit you're alive thank the gods i pulled you out the wreck when i did wasn't about to let the emperor's envoy die on my watch this is probably the most masculine character

game it'd take more to shipwreck to kill me least the journey's not completely lost ego bro I heard the cannons I couldn't we let's start with the names who are you the name's garik sir quarter gunner third of Deere and fleet what a stupid name grunt I've been here before we've got an outpost on this island but Uh, but what? The soldiers in the outpost can help us. I thought we were going to the living islands. Yeah, yeah, exactly. We were. We are. As soon as we can find ourselves a boat. What happened to our boat?

But we may have bigger things to worry about first. I saw Flash's envoy. It weren't the storm that wrecked our ship. It was cannon fire. And it could only have come from that fort up the hill. Makes no sense. No one fires on their own countrymen. It's an insurrection. Unless the soldiers were not of their own minds. This is me, the fucking discerning wizard warlord. That's what I'm afraid of too.

In the meantime, you survived. Yeah. That means we're not scoffered yet. As long as you're here, the emperor's mission can still go ahead. What about the people that attacked us? We've got to fuck their ass. We may not be through with them. Adi has got an embassy in the port of Paragon.

You gotta go over there. Once we make it there, we can regroup. Okay. There's nothing gay about that. The force probably our only chance of escape. How's that gay? We need supplies. And if our troops have been captured, they'll need our help.

Might. There's not a black gourd and aora who can stand in our way. Those boards up there look old. A good hit and we can be on our way. Schizo-woke design? You think so? Okay, so can I equip this weapon? So, I'm not going to read that.

Two weapon loadouts that can swap by putting us left alt. Okay. So. Logrified all arm rate and some additional reduction. Extrapped a raw number.

Oh, wow. Okay. Just think the item bonus. Equip one. Okay. Okay. So I'm going to put this on. Okay.

All right. So I just click it. I don't even need to drag it. Okay, good. And I also had a potion. Do I have a... Do I equip a... into anything in my potion? No, it looks like there's no potion tab that just automatically put on there.

Yep. I don't understand. Why would they fire on us their own people? Can I loot this guy? No. Can I kill this barrel? Okay, I can't kill the barrel. Can I kill the barrel? Can I kill the box? Okay. All right Gary. Let's go. Come on Gary. We're looking around. Ooh, another health potion. Nice. You're gonna loot from the dead. Okay. And what's this?

Silver? What's over here? Maybe there's something cool over here? I knew it, bro. See, like, that's, that's, that's video game sense. A box! What's in the box? Yes, we're gonna go to the boat. Obviously we're gonna go to the boat. What the hell do you guys think?

You fucking stupid, of course. Who's this guy? A bunch of fucking corpses down here. Alright. Where's the boat? Can I get to the boat? Looks like there's an invisible wall. Oh, wow. I can't do that. Okay. Ooh. That's not a real piece of wood. This is a video game. Let's go over here. Can I run over these?

Oh, I can. Okay, so I have a fish, I looted a fish, and $11. Okay, that seems pretty good. I'll bust that shit right down. Go up to the top of here. That's over here. I bet I can jump to the other side. Watch me get the word of this. This game's actually so easy. This game's a joke.

Can I go up there? Fuck, man! Fuck! Can't you mean you can jump this and you Okay, let's go. What a cock. Crouch. Can I jump off? So you put an invisible wall around everything cool, but you don't put it over- wait Does this mean I keep the money? Wait, I can just keep killing myself over and over and get more and more stuff That seems like a good idea. Wait, I thought I quit my weapon. Oh, there we go. Yeah, X point bro I'm cheating already. I'm already cheating in this game

Joke game Spiling on him let's go. What's this? Ooh, that's some snakes What's behind the waterfall? Nothing. What's up pussy? Time to die bitch. Just like the cinematic. All right Cool What are these? Nothing. No, damn, bro. This is all right? Got him?

Brock, I almost got my ass. Okay. Damn, bro, this is all... This one's hard. Okay, so I really got to be careful. Okay, can I go up that? No, I can't. Okay, let me look around a little bit more.

Oh, what does this say? This says, um, it says this is a woke video game that hates, uh, that hates America. I don't know what else. There's nothing else here. Alright, let's go. True? So true. Come on.

The port's up ahead. Trick mark. It's yourself. There's no healer about. How? It's a church. trip wire, I see. So can I disable the tripwire? I can't. You know how I learned that? Stalker, too. That was a dick sucker in a, in a warehouse I had to deal with. That was the most

annoying fucking, annoying fucking thing in the game. That's sniper? Yeah. Yeah, I killed his ass. I'm trying to look and see if there's any like secrets. Dude, there's got to be something, right? I knew it. An apology. I cannot go on. Can I loot her? Can I loot her body? No. Okay, let me go ahead. I'm going to put this dagger here. So this dagger actually kind of sucks dick. We're going to put it... Mace?

Oh, oh, I see. Okay, I see. I have to do it like that. All right. Let's go this one. Uh-oh. Luckily, I just got to... The game just auto saved. Uh-oh. All right, let's do it. Did they... Were they fighting each other?

Envoy, I don't like this. Door. I need a storage key. Okay. Alright. I'm sure nothing bad will be here. Okay. Oh. Oh, bro. That's an STD. That's nasty.

I got some money. What's in here? Damn. Um, look at that stick he's got. That's a nice stick. Don't care about that. Nothing else really going on in here. Oh, food. That's really good. Okay, so, so how do I, how does, how does, how does food work in this game? Uh, so is it like a, uh, is it like a, a dot where I get healed over time? Or is it just like a big heel?

It's region. Okay, but how, for how long? For like, uh, over five seconds? Okay. Nobody knows. Try it. All right, all right. I'll just try it. Who cares? Yeah, yeah. You can see it. Oh. So it pauses, so I never overheel. That's cool.

I'm assuming that's what happened. I don't know, but I'm just guessing. Got an apple. Okay. I'm sure we don't miss anything over here. I remember some of the soldiers praying around that are driven. Oh, what's this? Hope it help their souls find it beyond.

There's a key from back here. Open Sesame. This is where I get my two-handed great sword. Common armor breastplate. How does that work? Okay, so this one is like way better, right? Because if you look at the stats, the number is bigger and so it's better. I'm actually ripped. What the fuck?

Could this be me? Damn. I need to work out more. Okay. And by more, I mean at all. Okay. Oh, more potions. All right. Let's go. Chicken. We love chicken.

Money. $18. And we're going to get money from that girl. Oh my God. This could have been the cannon that shot us. Oh, no. I'm always trying to go in the wrong place. Can I say, I'm gonna save right now. Yeah, I feel like right now, like I'm about to go into. a situation, you know what I mean? All right, let's do it. What's up, pussy? What's up? What's up? Hitch it with everything you've got. What's wrong? How do I dodge, though? I have to block,

maybe? Damn! Let me see if I can do it. Damn! Oh no, bonus dick-suckers! I'm A-O-Eing them. Get them out of here. Okay. What's wrong? What's wrong? How does that Perry work? Damn, bro, this guy is no joke. It's a level one. Holy shit. All right, we got their ass, though. That's what matters. That was kind of hard. I mean, like, not really, but like, it's hard because I didn't know how to play. Okay, let's look this guy and what else?

What about over here? We get anything from her? No. All right. Um, let's look around. Lute? I know I'm trying to get the loot. I feel like we got everything. Because things are lit up that I need to get. Damn, there's like nothing in these barrels, huh? Another health potion.

I feel like I'm getting a lot of health potions. So two. Up there, margarine's fury. That'll do it. Migraines fury. If we can get it down, that is. How do we do that? Find a way the burn to brambles.

Okay, well, I probably should open this, right? Shut up, bitch. What's the shiny? I'm hearing shiny. Okay. Stay back. I'm not catching whatever's on your head. Ooh.

Easy. He's a godlike. You mean a god gave you that face. Touched your soul and everything. That's right. Never seen one of your kind before. Oh. I always heard folks say you are blessed. Looks more like a curse to me.

Will you shut up or should I make you? That's the Imperial Envoy you're talking to. Show some respect. Get out of here. That's right. You've known you but Adderons too. Funny you survived while all your friends here went belly up. Cross your arms. Do we have a problem?

Addeers had their boots on Paradis since their first soldiers came. Because the place. place is pure chaos. Did you not think we liked it that way? I have to smuggle just to get anything past your damn checkpoints. I had nothing to do with that. Uh... Can't you even benefit of the doubt?

I'm trying. Your friend's the one picking a fight with me. Shut the fuck up. Parodacens'll knife you in the back over a dirty look. At least we don't go mad and slaughter each other. Perception. Uh-oh. So wait. Your own men did sink our ship? They did all of this.

Oh wow. Oh wow. That's bad. Talking gibberish. Then the killing started. They went wild. Mm-hmm. Stabbed their mates and their sleep.

That's horrible. How could they do it? I told you, they weren't right. When the storm came, they fired the cans. They got radicalized from watching my stream. Their faces changed. That soldier in here tried to strangle me. I had to defend myself.

based. You said their face has changed, but this man's face looks normal. We still did it. I've got a bad feeling about this. It doesn't make sense. What if she murdered that soldier, and she's just trying to cover it up? Mm-hmm. We could make her speak truth.

There are methods. Wait, look, we don't have to like each other, but we can all get out alive. Mm-hmm. I left my boat at the edge of the island. Excellent. Let me just find a key to this cell. Envoy. I've tangled with Paradecent smugglers before. She'd say just about anything to get out that cell. Her story's full of holes. What if the boat's not there? What if she turns on us? Kill her.

For fuck sake, be reasonable. Don't listen to him. I don't know if you're guilty or innocent and I don't care. Oh, gods. That's the sanest thing I've heard all day. True. Let's find the key. It's in the warden's room. They blocked it off when things went south. You can find a way in there.

It's not a big deal. We live to regret this. Okay, so we have to go to the warden's chambers. Is that right? Okay, so I guess you've got to climb. Seems pretty obvious, but let me just look around first. Okay, go here. Oh wow. That's a big money situation.

Let me just do this. I got two nuts. nuts. What's this? A cucumber and... Oh, so you can destroy certain things. Essence potion. Oh, that's like mana and shit. Okay. Uh, let's break this. Um, let me food real quick. Is there any reason why I shouldn't just use these right now? Or is there cooking in the game that I should save them for later? just use them there's food everywhere okay that's big chicken i'm not going to use that chicken hopefully this is enough to survive the fall okay i didn't even take any damage all right big loot big loot big loot health potions a branch a pelt and a robe okay looks like a bunch of

garbage we didn't need any of that and then oh there's the key oh i didn't even realize i was doing what i was to be doing. I was just running around trying to follow the shiny sound. Okay, but it seems like that's what I was supposed to do. Okay, did I miss something on the other side then? Give me a minute. I'm like super like fucking fixated around like never missing stuff, you know? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so optional return to the girl. Okay, well, I'm gonna go ahead for like my weapon. I'm not gonna use like a both of these. Okay, so. Yeah, duh, stupid.

What the fuck you expect? I played like four video games. I know how to play this. It was easy. Should we just let her stay in there? Um, I think it'll probably be a better idea for us to keep her for now. That way we can use her as like a, um...

We should have around to trust me eventually. Yeah, yeah, see, like we'll use her as like a meat shield. Okay, give me a minute. Let me save. Okay. There's a couple of cock suckers on the other side. It doesn't really matter, though, right? I think I have to go over here, maybe?

I feel like I'm going the right way. Let's see how much damage my bow does. Does the bow have ammo? Charge it? Okay. Oh, ho! Okay, no mind. Okay, let's go back down. Let's go back down and kill this guy.

I'm Legulus, bitch. Wait, what? Guys, I really feel like that Bo is like way fucking better than melee. Like, way fucking better. I think I made a... Like, bro, I'm a hawkeye. Okay, let's go back over there. Anything down there?

The mage archer pipeline? Am I gonna be a mystic archer? Okay. Common Malay. Is that any good? Common sort? Ooh, the mace is big dick. The sort sucks. Okay.

Dual wield? I do that? I think I can, actually. You're right. Okay, so if I do mace? I feel like the bow is still better. All right, let's go. Give me a minute. I'm gonna heal.

Okay, can I res him? Now I have to res him. Assist. Wait a second. Wait a second. Can I date that? They do predictive shots. Guys. Dude.

Well, I was gold one in fucking, what do you call it? That new level two already. Oh my God. Select my first ability. Magic missile? I really don't think I should go with magic missile. man. I really don't. Like right now what I'm thinking about is I feel like number two is probably like an eight think about that an eight second route with a 10 second cool down. That's fucking broken. It is that's it's totally fucking broken. Like no we're using that. Casting abilities is my purple bar. Okay so F. Okay so I hold down F and then I cast this. Okay, cool. Seems pretty simple. So how do I put my attribute points on them?

Journal, character, okay. Character screen, reset your points for currency, okay. Um, I feel like we should go with Dixterity, right? Like, is the faster I shoot, the faster they're shot. I mean, I feel like that, is that, is that the way the math works out? I feel like it is, right? Past them. Let's go check this out. A trout. I will say that so far I've actually been enjoying playing the game I've been having fun It's okay so far yeah it's a DEI game too this is bad day the day okay What's in here? Oh, we do I want to try oh oh they want me to use my You know what let me try this spell and let's see how the spells work?

in this game. Ability tree fighter. Okay. Ranger. Okay, so you can actually godlike trees make you innate as a goblin. That's really good. Okay, so I, all right, so I'm not, I don't want to do wizard. I think wizard's stupid. That's really good. Toughness. Time a block against the Malay attack to knock back the enemy and gain an immediate counterattack. That's really good What the fuck? That's crazy good Holding your power attack with a bow Slow's time

That's mega dick Oh my god These are really good Holy shit Okay we gotta start leveling Yeah I feel like I don't really want to use magic I'm very happy with like using what I'm doing now Set myself on fire

We've got the high ground How should we do this? Like that Mad? That hit me? How'd that hit me? I'm trying to get the... Oh, oh, I see. There's two of them.

Okay, so let me try my ability. So he's rooted in place? Oh, that's a big dick. Give me a minute. Wow, how'd that hit me? Okay, uh, let me heal. Okay, I'm gonna swap. Okay, let me rez him.

Okay, let's go. All right. Damn. This is actually a pretty clean hitbox. Okay. Oh, wow. Got them. Nice.

Okay. That did pretty well. I kind of wish I had a damage ability, too. So I'm thinking that we use range to kind of like thin them out and then we swap in the melee because melee just does way more damage. But range. has like its other unique benefits too so it's hard really for me to say which one's better okay um and let's let's food a little bit too uh where's my inventory charge malay i'll have to look at that

i haven't done that yet say food okay um let's go and just do a food and then a double food okay um all right it seems like i will did everything here let's go you hold left click let me try it right now Wait, can I do the big dick? No, I can't. So I can only charge one weapon at a time. I wonder if that makes dual wield worse. I feel like it does. And I guess this restores my mana.

Uh-oh. Who's that guy? I'm sorry to say, gentlemen, this is not Legend of Zelda. Okay? Um, let's go. There's nothing in there. Oh, this is a boss fine. Can't kill me.

can kill me and swim across the sea. I knew it's whatever's on their faces. It gets into their heads. I'm no expert on soulplagues, but whatever you came here to find, I'd say you found it. Now I get why you were scared in my face. It's uncanny. No it isn't. You're a godlike.

He's, well, look at him. He's sick. We're gonna kill him? Who disturbs us? Did you kill these soldiers? They stung at me. They wanted to prune my bows. I was defending myself. Steady yourself.

Please. Hose mad? We're only trying to help. You're wasting your breath. He's gone. We got to kill him. You tread in the orchard. You can't understand us, can you?

Spreading weeds. Nightmen's have been free to drink of the land. They thought they could. Bro, can we just... ...why just... ...the vener stains my blade. Bro, can we just... He can barely string a thought together.

How could he have killed everyone? He couldn't. Not like this. He's just the last one standing. But he has a two-ended weapon. I feel like I go with number one, right? I become the breeze, the sun. And you, you return death to us.

Envoy, this could come to blows. Keep your guard up. Why is he mad? Fucking idiot. I need to figure out how to move. hiding him? This guy's a real cock sucker. Running? I'm kind of want to try a range for a melee. I already got him to half.

I think I'm dead. Damn, that was fast. Ooh, got him. Damn, that shit was hard. Okay. All right, let me equip that weapon. A great hammer. Okay, we're going to use that for sure.

Okay, let's look this. Okay, so now we have upgrade items as well. destroy that. All right, so I can use big attacks like that too. Oh, I wonder if I could have maybe set them on fire. You know what? I probably could have. I didn't even know you could do that. Okay, let's go down here real quick.

Okay. Anything important here? Seems like, no, not really. Oh, I see. I have to go over this way. And then I can lose something over here. This is a big money situation, right? Okay, we got iron.

That's good for upgrades, so that's actually kind of, yeah, that's very good. Okay. Let's go. What the fuck? We felt your presence like you on a leaf. Us. Envoy. You're right.

Can you hear me? I heard a voice. A voice? What did it say? It said I had returned. Now your envoys losing it. No. I think something in the Ardra spoke to him.

Me specifically. When you put it that way, maybe so. I've been around Ardra my whole life. And it never spoke to me. I don't think it spoke to anyone. Not even God likes. That's some gift. So I'm unusual even for people like me.

Sure. Ego, by the way. Still got to get to Paradise. Okay. All right. If I have to do more combat, I'm gonna heal. But I feel like this is probably gonna be a... Nice, yeah, that's what I thought.

Thank the gods, it's still here. Get on. In the distance, it's Paradise. So, the smuggler wasn't lying. My name's Allura. you know. I'm glad we took a chance on you. Thanks.

I've enjoyed not being dead. Mm-hmm. Look, if this is the soul plague the empress sent you to find, we have to stop it. You have to stop it no matter what it takes. Okay. I'd heard rumors about folk. Changing. Out in the hinterlands.

I thought they were just that. You know, stories. I never imagined it'd be like this. Fate has drawn me for a... fate has drawn me here for a reason. Something poisons this land. I don't know how, but if anyone can find a way, it's you. Mm-hmm. Will you get on before I leave without you?

Aye. Onward to paradise. Oh, we go to the... Oh, wow. I'm the chosen one? I know. I know. I am. You never let me.

This looks nice. This is all on the ultra graphics, etc. Who's this loser? These docks are reserved for the Imperial Envoy of Adir. Okay. You know. Hey, turn around and sail back to wherever you came from. This dock is reserved for the Imperial Envoy. And he's late.

Probably died at sea. Good riddance. You try to say that data in the way that doesn't piss off the Imperial Envoy? Wait, you're the... Fuck. Nice. Stupid bitch. I meant nothing by it. A slip of the tongue.

Can we start over? Name Seenric, captain of the local militia. Immediately he go her. ...around Paradis. Unlike most Adirons who couldn't find their ass with both hands. And again, another one of these. Present company excluded. Shit.

They told me you were a godlike, but I didn't know what to expect. The literal god. Your face, it's so... Handsome? Yeah, I'm gonna try and hit on her. You're doing great. Forgive me. Again, we're having a bit of an emergency. No doubt you've come for the Adyrian ambassador, but he's gone.

Along with our clavager. What the fuck is a claviger? Well, he's the closest thing we have to a local authority. Part keeper of the keys, part bald fist. Okay. Perdice's mayor, more or less. Don't know what the fuck that means, but okay. Most people out here are fond of established hierarchies and titles.

Mm-hmm. So, we made up some new ones. Sounds that, all right. Don't care. We got to go over there. You need to find the ambassador and I need to find the clavager. How's about we partner up? Two missing people and two searchers.

How suspicious. The Raua Tine Navy didn't teach me fancy words, but I did learn how to count. Kai, before you go, please keep in mind that the envoy is a respected member of the court. Make sure he comes back alive, or the steel garrote will have my head. Better yours than mine.

Let's get going. Right behind you. We've got to find your ambassador and my clavich. Is this Concord 2? Yeah, actually it is. Kai is a seasoned warrior and a mercenary. He does stuff and he's like a tank. Okay, cool.

Order Kai to burn away webs. Okay, so he can do that for me. That's nice. All right, let's go, Baldy. Okay. Okay. Okay. Let's let these beacons all over the eye.

Good for finding your way around. Alright, let's talk to this guy. This guy, oh, he's a cool guy. Look how cool he is. Nothing. Okay. Is there anything underneath here? It's DEI? No, it wasn't DEI. That's a, it's a male, it's a white male character. It's only DEI if it's a woman. It's yeah, it's Connor McGregor, yeah. It's the rapist representation. Okay, look over here.

I feel like there's nothing out here. Like maybe there is, but like I'm not going to to spend fucking three hours like going around you know yeah can i go up there uh yeah i can okay cool thank you yeah sure okay uh let's move let's move on i got some money can i buy some shit merchant voltaore greetings friend you look like you could use a fine weapon or a sturdy shield not to worry walter is here i suggest you you take a look at my wares before you speak to Daggurda. Who knows what mood she's in today? Let's see what you have for sale. Okay, so what does he have? Common great sword, common spear, and a grenade. So I could buy this right now, but I feel like with the great sword and the great hammer,

like, I mean, we're really, I mean, I already have the hammer, right? I mean, I feel like if anything, I should just, there's no bow that he's said. selling sell your junk yeah yeah um common grim more of elements i guess we're going to get rid of that um i'm going to keep the mason the sword for now and then this chest armor we're going to get rid of oh i don't have gloves and boots oh that that indicates that they're equipped okay i understand now as it's but i'm not obviously not going to get rid of those okay The wilds, like, you don't... Come on. You're not still mad about that hunting knife, are you? All right, no. You're clear.

But you better pay up front this time. I knew you'd come around. You miss me. I'll let you think that. That's that lizard dick. What are you interested in? The big blue lizard dick. Okay, uh, common brigandia armor. Okay, we don't need that. Um, Howl bark. Okay, uh, durable greaves.

I wonder if these are any good I'm going to buy a few lock picks I'm going to buy two and is there a way that it'll indicate to me Egg Rothian, what the hell is this? All items Party stash

Wait, this stuff is really good I should steal his armor his armor's way better than my armor I'm just trying to get an idea how this works okay And then Welcome to Donshore Traveler Oh

My name is Dagoda Okay, so she sells potions Uh, let me buy, I'm gonna buy two potions Wood? Okay How hard is it to answer a question? I don't trifle with souls, man, love. They're tearing my home apart. Fatty, get out of here, fatty.

Never mind. I can't believe how rude everyone is around here. Is there, You're the one shouting. Typical. Guys. How hard could it be to find a watcher? I sense an abiding recklessness in you. A watcher might just be the trick.

How did you... Actually, maybe I should talk to you instead. I'm not a watcher, merely a soul receptive to the beyond. Why do you think I can help? I'm clearly under some kind of curse. I'm gonna fix her. Yeah. A band of Zorips invaded my house. What am I gonna do?

Wait. I can handle giant lizards. Then take my house key. It's northwest of here. That cabin on the cliff all by itself. God's know I can't go back. And there's nothing to steal either. Azorip's saw to that.

Oh, damn it. Come back when you've dealt with them. And make sure you get their leader too. I'm sorry, but I don't think they'll go quietly. You'll have to kill them. You'll get your cabin back. That's a prize. promise.

Thank you. That may not be worth much coming from a stranger, but I mean it. Yeah, I'm just hold that. I'm gonna go get that. Okay, um, anything else worthwhile over here. I can't push people into the water. A little bit disappointing there. Can I explore this whole city?

Damn, this place is pretty big. God damn. Open them out? Yeah, I won't... Oh, hey, Sonsa. Comes on a little strong, that's all. He doesn't bite. But to meet you, what an honor. Who is your patron?

Were you drawn to this place? Intellects 0 out of 4. I can speak to fish and shoot fire from my eyes. it's incredible. You can? Wait, you're pulling my leg, aren't you? I apologize. Everyone must ask you such things.

Listen, you haven't been to the wilds east of the city, have you? Maybe, what about it? Then have you seen a cartographer in the area? Human, about my height. Not to be rude, but where is this going? His name is Girmund. Is my assistant, and I'm worried. about him. I sent him to map the Eastern Wilds.

Yeah, I knew it would be able to be able to be able. But it's been a long time since he's written, even for him. You send your assistants out into the Wilds? That sounds dangerous. Cardography is not for the slight. It requires a certain initiative. You know how many so-called adventurers I've saved out there? It's an intrepid occupation. Three, this month. As I said, if you find it.

and bring me his map, I'll be glad to pay for it. I may even have more work for you. Paying work, count me in. Thank the gods. At least coin will get me somewhere. When he last wrote, he was mapping the eastern ruins. Take the letter. It might help. If you find him, bring his work to my shop in Paradise I Town. You're welcome any time. I have quite the assortment of Curios. Maybe you'll even buy one of my... Okay. All right, let's open up the map.

A map screen, topographical maps. Also mark points of interest. Okay, that's fine. Okay, these are the merchants. Let's go out a bit. Okay, and we gotta go over to this girl, her house. All right, and I just came from this living lands, and we were just over there. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Okay. This is like that fucking legend of Zelda out.

All right. Thing orders then. Well, I think first things first, let's go get that girl's house. Pretty big, yeah, it's, uh, it's hard to say. I'll look around a little bit more. Oh, wow. Did I just loot a spear? That's pretty good.

Um, okay, well, if I have a spear in shield, I feel like that's really strong. Okay, let's go. Steel equals loot. Bro, that shit got me fuck. up in Kingdom Cup. That shit got me fucked up and Kingdom Come Deliverance. I hated that. That I couldn't just like steal everything.

Oh, that looks really cool. Damn, that looks badass. Okay, let's go up here. What's on this? Okay. There's got to be something really... I feel like I don't really need to have spoiled cabbage. Shipman C4.

Okay. I feel like that doesn't really matter a whole lot. I hit the wrong button. Okay, um... Damn, there's a lot of shit in here. I have rem-rend. I don't think I have that. So I can't quite get to him, but he has a purple item.

Fuck. Okay, let's look at this. Oh, maybe this is it. Oh, shit, it is. Nice. Big dick, big dick, big dick. Okay, awesome. Is there anything else under this one?

water? I'm just gonna look. A cursory glance. I feel like there's gotta be some kind of fucking legendary treasure chest under here under the water somewhere. I just don't know where it is. Okay, let's go this one. It'd be cool if there were sharks. They were copyrighted if you couldn't have any sharks. Okay. Oh, there's another backpack too. Common pistol? Wait, what? Oh, fuck. We'll try that, but I want to try the other weapons that we have right now first, okay? Should we loot some more of that?

Can I refresh this? No, okay, so it's a one-time use. Or at least it's a cool-down use, maybe. Ooh, ooh, you see jumping puzzle. You guys see it? Let's go at the top of this thing first. And then we're going to go to the jumping puzzle. Okay.

I'm trying to get a feel for, like, how this game hides secrets and things like this. Like, if every single nook and cranny is worth exploring, or if it's just kind of one of these, like, more measured games, I feel like it's kind of in between. But the things that really I find seem to be kind of, like, placed very obviously out of sight, if that makes sense. If this can hold me, you'll be fine. Just don't look down. Oh, oops. I failed.

Big money. Can I even get to that? I can't, okay. Okay, so platforming in this game isn't really too difficult. Um, I see. Legendary? Looks like that broke off of something. Wonder where it goes.

Okay. Oh, a treasure map. They weren't much of an artist, but I think... I think this is a really good time to save. Stream by the parkroom wall. Okay. All right. I gotta jump up. to there. Well, I did not sprint jump that. That shit scared me. Got it. Can I break those? Look at the view? Oh shit! I just probably accidentally

kill the really important quest giver. Damn. Actress is kind of good? Yeah, it does. Okay. Health potions. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Arcane ass boots. Nothing ventured on boy. You guys want to see? what happens if you uh if you jump directly into the water let's find out all right here we go oh oh oh that bird bird burn nice okay we made it that was cool all right now let's go over to this we're gonna try this and then after that we want to get back to the uh the uh the uh normal activities um can i don't know if i can let's find out no okay so there's not there's not as much you stupid bitch

Can I? Am I supposed to be able to just do this? Oh, okay. All right, I got it. What's in the box? Thank God I did that. I got $1. Unlock.

I don't know. Let's see if I can lock pick it. I think that's good, right? I don't think we want to open that because that's just the pathway from the other side. Okay, let's go in here. Yeah, there's no reason to unlock the next one. I think I should be able to, right?

Yeah, I can. The platforming in this game is pretty good. Let's go over here first. Big loop, big loop. I can hear it. Is this what I think it is? It's not, right? No, okay, because there's no indicator.

There's white stuff here. Damn, they should just put yellow paint there, so I know. Fuck. I heard sparkling over here. Why did I hear... Oh, maybe it was just a smaller chest. Bro, this guy's a fucking moron. Oh god. Well, I can barely even keep up.

Wait, can I hit the bell? If I hit the bell, L, literally L bell. What a joke. Everybody knows what birds... Everybody knows birds keep money in their, uh, in their, uh, in their nests. It's just common video game sense. It's obvious. Okay, let's look around here. Um, I guess I have to hear to here.

What the fuck? Oh, I was underneath it. Okay, that's one. Okay. I don't think I need to go over there. Damn, bro. These people really can't build their roofs very well, huh? Kind of stupid. Just a little bit dumb. Okay, let's go down here.

Ooh, what's this? Dumb. Let's go in here. Ah. Is there a room? reason really for me to gie over here i don't really think oh oh i see i see okay maybe i can go in through here okay it seems like there's not quite as much exploration in here either can you kill npses uh i feel like in a lot of cases you're not able to um i don't want to do it actually fuck it let's just save like i mean why why would i not do it let's see what happens no

L? I'm willing... Yeah, yes, yes. But I'm willing to forgive it because I feel like they've had a number of other cool things. I like this main city exploration. I think it's kind of cool.

So I'll forgive the NPC thing. A lot of games might not want to take that approach that's reasonable. Try the range weapon? Yeah, sure. Um, nothing. Okay. Let's go talk to this rock.

Hello? Set up party camp? Uh, yeah. Let's go ahead and do it. I don't know what this is going to do. A valid premium edition. Okay. Oh, I see.

I understand. Okay. You know, for most people, getting sent to the living lands is a punishment. Wouldn't it be the dying land? I have a personal envoy of the Emperor of Adair himself. Quite a position. I have a unique connection to the beyond. I advise the Emperor on matters of souls and divinity.

I should ask you for some good campfire stories later. You really shouldn't. I'd be lying if I said that didn't tempt me all the more. But I'll take you at your word. Talk of the plague, inland, has folk nervous enough as it is. Is that why the emperor sent his personal mystic to the living lands? Why would anyone think it's a punishment to be sent here?

A journey to the living lands is one way for most. This island's always had a way of swallowing people whole. An entire civilization disappeared here, if you can believe it. And this was all before the dream scourge. Now? What? What? Refugees are flooding in from outlines.

regions, the guards are restricting access to the city. They need to move the wall. And people are making offerings to the gods for everything from hangovers to indigestion, just in case. That's why I'm here. Define this source and put a stop to it. I like your confidence. Just be careful how you express it. Unfortunately, the presence of so many Adyran troops and the rumored exploits of the Stil-Garote Paladins supporting them is only making a tense situation worse. Steel Garot powers.

I think that's why the Clavanger accompanied your ambassador. I understand the tension. Foreign troops are rarely a welcome site. Exactly. Perides has been quiet lately, but I don't know how long that'll last. We're talking about an island that has been largely settled by nomads, exiles, and dissidents. people who tend to be suspicious of authority. But what about you? What's your stake in things? Besides your orders, of course.

Something here calls to me. I don't know what it is, but I feel a connection. Just be careful where you say that. Oh. That's a kind of talk that may get people thinking you just the dream search. I just thought of the dumbest answer possible. I'll let you get some rest, but thanks for talking. It's good to be part of a squad again.

Even if it's just for a while. Good night, Kai. I'll be here if you need me. Okay, so, work bitch. We can upload an item, upgrade type. Okay, so I could upgrade this. Crafting? Okay.

Enchanting station. Okay, so I don't have any unique weapons. Party stash. Your weapons. Hardy stashes C That's actually really good I need to equip those boots He equipped the unique boots

Yeah, I will I'm just trying to get an idea Like what to do here Okay so this is all the stuff That I've looted already I haven't seen this much exciting Wow I can change his outfit

To what? Oh man bro Perhaps I've got you to think Oh man Now he yeah he's stripped out. Okay, so Ajor Waystone, okay.

Okay, so cancel. All right, so I think that we stash for DLC armor. Stash for DLC. I didn't get any DLC armor in here. What do you mean? Where? Other side? Personally, I've always found the rocking of a ship to be soothing. Damn, this guy really likes to talk, huh?

Is this the stash over here? Doesn't make sense to me. Where is it? Where the fuck is it? It's confusing to me. Other side of the same storage menu? Okay, so like, is this it? Oh, wow.

Okay, so I do get armor. Okay, so... This is actually pretty good. Okay, so which one do I go with? I'm feeling like... Slowly regenerate 15% of your maximum health seems insanely fucking good. And I think we go with this.

And then for the boots, critical damage, I feel like if I'm always getting headshots, like this is the obvious decision. And I actually think that the boots that I looted are better than this. Because I'm not really sure how good poison and bleed is. So,

Moose Speed, it has that already. Okay, and there's no weapons. Okay, so it's just those two items. All right, let me go ahead and like, I'm going to set my character up then. So, oh, actually, let me see what I can do with the unique armor. So chess piece. Okay, so I have to use this for unique items. Weapons and then materials.

Hmm. Oh, I can only enchant weapons. Okay. Unspent companion points. Oh, Kai. Okay, fire and ice. That's actually really good. Yeah.

Oh, I have to choose. Let's go with Ignite. Actually, let's go with cool down. Yeah, let's do CDR. Okay, and that seems good. Now that we did that, and we're not going to upgrade this at all. And wait, did I not equip that? It looks like I didn't.

Okay, let's go ahead and equip that. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, that's big. It's lit Okay Well we did all that

And so Now that I'm geared out I feel like So how does this work? Do I exit here? Is this like the next day? Let's go to this bitch's house Let me actually go up here I want to see what's in here

One-handed axe Huge I can hear it I can hear it For the rest of us Oh my god They're gambling They're getting it twisted

We're gonna steal all their stuff They don't need it Okay Why she's still charging Damn Well this guy just This guy just had his dreams of like getting With an only fan's girl ruined

Well I guess back then it was just prostitution You need to bring that back Okay Vamb braces Okay, that's pretty good. We got some more potions, too. It is. It's called marriage.

Oh, okay. I know, am I really fine? Okay. You must be the unparalleled man at arms. I don't know, I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing. Are you generous with compliments at scene, Rick? Mm-hmm. Oh, she said that, did she?

Another pretentious female character. Yeah. I knew she was sweet on me. Spar with me. Let me show you exactly what this unparalleled man at arms can do. Uh, okay, sure. Oh, it'll be fun, alright. In Magrins' name, prepare yourself.

Oh, oops, stupid. Damn, she's stupid. I'm gonna try and use my other mace, okay? Uh... Well done. You have passed. Damn. Better on our feet and in the ground. It's clear I underestimated your prowess.

Fierce as a rathoon you are. Rathoon you are on boy. What the fuck? A raphaean? Our surplus includes a large hammer. An archibus, a spear, and a wand. What say you, huh? An archibus.

I feel like I already have a hammer. Aha, the blessed fire arm. Its flames burn brighter and faster than any I've seen before. With it, you will destroy your enemies. The archibus then? Uh, I'm just gonna take it. I mean, who cares? It's no god hammer bomb, but it will serve you well.

Fear not the flames, envoy. Okay, cool. Um... I'm gonna unlock this. Yeah, kind of useless. I don't think I really got a lot out of that. Okay, now what we're gonna do? Oh, let me actually see what the item is.

Okay, so... What do we got here? Archibus... So how does it work? Alright. All right. Same's good to me. Venture past the palisades at your own risk. There's no guarantee of space. Okay.

Let's take a look. Let's go over here first. Let's he burn this. What's number two? No, number two even does. All right, let's look around. Uh, that was his self-defense situation. 81? Damn. I'm just trying to decide what the best way of playing this is. Okay, so did they drop anything? No, not really.

I really should use that route, too. Okay. Pistol and sword. Yeah, maybe I swap between the two of them or something. That'd be kind of cool. I think I'm also going to maybe use it as an opener. Ooh, what's down here? There's a chest.

So the thing that I'm concerned about right now is spending my upgrade materials on things that I'm going to replace. I'm not sure if that's a worthy concern or not to have. This has to be sponsored? No, I'm not sponsored to play the game. I told everybody I'd play the game. I'm playing the game.

I know it sounds crazy, but... Yeah, occasionally I do actually play video games. I'm sure it must be very disappointing for some people I mean if I got on top of this But I can't Okay, so like I could do some really stupid shit can I do this? Yeah, I can. I don't think I was supposed to be able to do that

Okay, can I salvage this in any way Man Okay, uh close yeah, I don't know Uh What was that? That was a bug. Okay, let me try this one more time. I just don't understand

what I'm supposed to do here. How could I get up there? Because there's no grapple point at all. Just jump up. Okay. I hate you guys. Let's take another approach. It's very obvious.

That's not the way that I'm supposed to do it. I think I'm going about it backwards. Okay, let's go this way. Right side has a beam? No, I don't think so. I don't think I can get to it. Big money. Big money. Yeah, I think this is very clearly the path to take, right? I mean, like I'm kind of reverse engineering this. Oh, oops. I didn't mean to do that. I keep hitting the wrong button. Um,

when we try my melee weapon, it's kind of slow. What do you guys think? I feel like yeah, it's really slow. What do you guys think? You know what I'm thinking about doing is... Back on my feet. Yeah, I just like... I shoot them to heal them. Oh, that's fire. That's bad.

Fire's bad. What if we played a build with, like, bow and gun, and I rotate the bow inside of the gun? Like some fucking, like, medieval shit. I feel like that'd be a good idea. You can loot the bodies. Oh, a lot of them actually didn't drop it. anything. I'm not used to looting them. I feel like that'd be a really good idea. So like,

what if I went with this and then I swapped over and then I used the bow? So, like, let me, let me see if this is going to work. Let's go here first. So, like, I swap and then I go and I swap this. And then I swap it again. Okay, so it still makes me do the reload. So, what did she drop? Yeah, I'm not sure. I feel like the bow might be a little bit better. So what I'm thinking about is like using the gun as an opener and then using the bow afterwards as like a follow-up I feel like that's a really good idea try the pistol I think bow is better bow is probably higher DPS but in order to initiate a fight using the musket is a good idea I think okay that's a big dick okay so I can't shoot him from there all right well let's

let's actually do this quest because like we've been so distracted Let's go. This is to hangins place for was. We'll go around. You take leave. Where are they? They're all gone. Okay, we gotta break into this crack house. Let's go.

I can hear him in there. Anything juicy? She's been having dreams about a czar up. What do you make of that? Maybe it has something to do with that wall painting in the other room. Let's check it out. Okay. Let me actually food right now.

food right now since I'm not full health crack corn okay what shit that was easy good five level up got it found it bro of course what a surprise so she ends some weird shit huh I'm no art critic but I've never seen a mural like that looks like an elf and Zara holding hands What do you see? Uh, they share a bond. Why don't we ask to hang in about it? It's her house. She ought to know something. Okay.

I'm gonna level up. Character. Um, perception's okay. I think I'd just go with might, right? I mean, um... Yeah, it's just like, it's literally just more damage. I feel like that's better no matter what. Maybe I'm wrong, but like, that's just what it seems like to me.

me okay um unlocks tanglefoot i feel like that's really good the survivalist one i don't think parry is really good in this game because the telegraphs for the attacks are kind of bad oh yeah we're gonna get this yeah that's insane what difficult to mount the hardest one ego andy by the way oh let me go the other way this is a ugly dude hello who's this are of doing out here all by himself who's this ugly fat bitch. Wait, maybe this is her boyfriend. Whoa. A friendly Zareb.

Don't see that every day. Of course, you don't see them fighting their friends every day either. Oh. Um... I don't speak Zareep, but it definitely answered you. Okay. I'm trying to think if I should kill it or not. I don't think I should, because the logic is that this NPC is probably

the one that's being referenced in the painting and it might fuck up the quest line with the girl i agree he's not hurting anyone in fact we're near de hangen's house maybe he's the one who made that mural yeah just what i thought that's the other way around um do i fast travel this game uh yeah did you try thirspers mode uh no i haven't okay okay okay I can go home now. They painted on your wall. Painted? Why would they do that?

It's true. It looked just like you. I'm not sure they got your eyes right, though. So, they've made it their territory. We'll never get them out. You and this Zara might be soul twins. It would explain their strange behavior. I should have figured I wouldn't be able to fool someone like you.

Have you ever felt aimless? Like you ought to have a purpose? You ought to have a purpose, but you don't. Bro, she's fucking the lizard. Like you do anything to find out why you're meant to be here. She's fucking the lizard. I knew it. Oh my god. No one's meant for something. I'd love to. I'm not good at anything.

No matter what I put my mind to. An animancer told me that I might have half a soul. I finally had an answer. The question was, who got the other half? I thought if I could meet this person and see what they were like, I might gain some sort. purpose or something. She's actually fucking the lizard. And then I came here and found a Zorup. Maybe, but it's not like mine. How could we understand each other? I can't even speak to it.

Oh my god. I've got to find some meaning in all this. Bro. I can't go back and I can't go forward. I'm just stuck here. Lost. Again. Spend time with the Zarp. I'm gonna tell her to keep fucking the lizard. Are you serious? Some things can never be replaced.

The mystic on my ship said the same thing. I'm going to enable this. Which is worse? A risk or an unfulfilled life? Well, when you put it like that, I'll go. I'll be brave. I'll find it.

I really hope you're right. Oh, I forgot. You still deserve to be paid. for your time, if nothing else. I didn't think, well, it's nice to get help from an Adirin. I'll say that much. Okay, so I just got a ring, didn't I? Vindicate a bend.

Critical hit steal poison. Okay, that's insanely fucking good. Wow, holy fuck. Okay, so, because, like, I mean, I feel like it's probably not, like, how do you think this guy came to exist? I think probably some girl like this got weird with a lizard, and then this dude popped out. So I feel like it's not even really that unheard of.

Really? I mean, look, look. Look. Come here. Okay, chickens are unkillable. Let's look around here, see if there's anything. Ooh, look at that. There's a box. So how do you guys feel about me doing upgrades?

Do you guys think I should do upgrades now or not? Because I could upgrade more of my weapons or I would wait for a better weapon. Like, I just, I don't know what the right option is. I think I'm going to use the bow Yeah, I think the gun is only useful for I think it's only useful for for opening a fight Turn around Mr. Bear

You fat bitch Does poison add stacks? Damn That bear got deleted All right, let's see, let's get some loot Okay, don't come to the club. Your first job is to bring us a bear egg. Okay.

All right, let me see. I guess we'll probably get some more food. I might as well just eat the chicken, right? I mean, like, who gives a fuck? That's actually a rabbit. I heard rabbits are actually, they taste good. A bear egg? Yeah.

What's this? Those must be your ambassadors, man. Two-handed great axe? I feel like the axe is... The hammer's better than the axe. It does more damage. The hammer seems like it's better in general But it has higher crit chance

Ah Ax is faster I'd like to hang around the grave yard What's wrong What's wrong I'll deal with them in a minute We're gonna also We're gonna kill the grave robbers

After we robbers So we can max out our hippops We can max out our hypocrisy. Well, I'll be damned. You guys see this? Yeah. Blasted godlike in the flesh. Ooh, that's me.

That's no godlike. There aren't any godlikes around anymore. Seriously, Tiny. Do you not see that face? Use your fucking eyes for once. I still don't like it when you call me that. Remember what I was saying before about how the lizards and the females? Yeah, it's not.

Yet some of us remain. Sure, sure. If you want to keep remaining, there's better places to do it than on our claim. Lucky for you, I'm not really in the mood for killing today. I'm here to liberate the dead of their valuables. What's your excuse? So, there are very few times in video games where you actually get a chance to kill the obnoxious millennial girl boss characters, and this is one of them. Bring it on

This one's mine She might kill me if I can't get away One more again Hose mad What's wrong? What's wrong? Our queen? Not anymore She's done

Give me that shit Give me this shit Where's all the loot? Anything up there? Let's see. Can I go with you? Nope. Okay, looks like not. All right. Okay. And we can't even loot her. We didn't even get anything from the girl.

Well, to be fair, yes, we did. It was satisfaction. I'm very happy that we did that. Okay. So I guess the next step is we have to go this way, right? Okay. Hargrunin built these walls and much of parody centuries ago. Much of their work still seems. Oh, I see. So I did half damage because of that. Damn. Damn.

This is gonna take a while. I gotta get those crits, man. Okay, let's move. This Kai's dead. Okay, move away. We gotta get faster aim speed, man. I think that's what we really need to start cooking on. Because as soon as we get that,

like everything else is gonna be fucking easy. Need dicks? Yeah, I think we need big dicks. It's actually embarrassing how many of these headshots I know. Okay, let's go, let's go Rescott. Fuck! So what happens I'd say swap over right now? Yeah, I think there's like an internal CD where like, there's an internal cooldown

where you can actually swap in between, but the gun has to reload like inside of your inventory or something like that. I think that's how it's supposed to work, but I don't really know. So we just have to figure that out, and then we're going to be cooking. Alright, let's go over to this quest. I do feel like this game's difficulty slider has been, you know, harder level, more health, which is a little bit unfortunate, but, you know, not also a surprise either. Big Dick. Big Dick Bear. What's wrong?

See how much time it takes? I'm going to try and hit him too. Oh, shit. And also the fact that these crits caused them to stagger, I think he's massive. Okay, so let me try now. Yeah, see what I'm saying? Let me try it now. Okay, so it's not that fast.

It's at least two. What the fuck? Okay. All right. We gotta go inside here. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, all right, let's go.

Ooh, we got a necklace. I can take care of that if you want. Okay, let's see what we got with the necklace. Uh, wait, what? Oh, I guess it was a quest item. Okay, whatever. Give me a minute. Character, okay, so let's put another point in the dexterity again.

And then we're also going to go into, our abilities, and we're going to put another point into... I have to be play level 5. Okay, so I can't do that one yet. So then maybe I go in the fighter. Maximum health by 20% seems really good. After taking damage, so we regenerate 50% of the last health amount. That's really constant recovery.

Sounds fucking insane. That's really, really, really fucking good. I wonder if I should use this. Because I'm not really using essence with anything else. and if I go with magic missiles I feel like that's really good your name's bad I don't think my name's bad at all

I think it's fine uh essence for vines yeah but I don't really use the vines that much there's a lot of really good options here I think we're gonna open this up just so we can get a little bit more damage okay let's do some of this stuff

I'm always telling visitors ah fuck okay that's not a good bow nothing important up to the top So how do I, do I command him to do that burn to brambles? That's not it. Name where? How do I command him to do it? Tutorials?

F. Niagaraans Fury. Fire starter. Nice. Okay. Easy enough. Oops, hit the wrong button. That's a big dick bear. Okay, let's see how this... So these are seeking, right? Whoa, what a piece of shit.

Are you kidding me? Is that a joke? It's almost like the brambles are trying to crush that house. Burn it down, stupid. There you go. All right, let's see what's in here. You got to be closer. Really?

Wait, are you sure? Oh. I really don't need this bagger. And I feel like I'm taking... Am I looting too much stuff? Like, what's my inventory? Yeah, my space, management is really bad, so I need to actually be, uh, I need to be careful with what I'm looting.

Okay, so I'm going to use this. That's really good. What the fuck? That's insane. That's really. Oh, can I use that? Ass bitch. So then I can get, uh, I'm not getting that much mana back though. That's the only problem. What's over here? Is this where I was just at from the other direction? No. It's not big dick. No reason to loot that. Forgotten soul pod. Ooh, what's this? Nice. Dude, we're getting so many health potions. It's actually insane. Actually, you know what? Maybe my aim is bad. That's, that's embarrassing. That's actually so embarrassing. Damn, bitch. I can see him. Magic missile! Okay, so it's not like the magic just goes right through the shield. Okay.

Let me go ahead and actually just get a little bit of heel. Let's see, are these any good? Thorn fruit? I guess I'm going to loot through these. Okay. And I guess we'll do another apple too. Make sure we get a little bit more mana. Oh, I don't know how I...

How did I... How did that happen? Oops. You? That makes sense so you can see yourself. Good one. Okay, let's go this one. Stand back. Hello? I'm trying to look and see if there's anything else. Gotcha bitch. Out of Timber. Magrin's blessing. What is a Magrins blessing? Huh? Wow. I don't think I really need to go down there right now.

This bitch is skips. My video game boss senses tingling That's the clavitor What happened Are you blind We're being hunted Get rid of the band we'll talk after Are you blind

Shut up Run of the band we'll talk after Magic missile I'm actually kind of distracted right now Running running running From my right Wait what are there more mobs No, it's not. Okay. I'm gonna use the bow now. Okay, uh, magic missile, magic missile. This sure takes a long time.

Oh, is that poison? I was in poison. Okay. Twelve. I'm running. Okay, so they put poison down or something? So is that... I'm just trying to get an idea how this works. Okay, that did a lot of damage. Okay. Wow. Okay, we really gotta take it seriously here See what am I hitting? See? I shoot his ass if I have to Okay, one more right in the dick Back on my feet

Take that you monstrosity Okay Well done What happened to that bear Oh wow, look at all this shit, holy fuck Look at all this Poor bastard Oh my god

That's a lot. That's an assload. Okay, what are we gonna get rid of? We gotta throw something away. Maybe we just get rid of the hammer. Like, I don't know, like, I'm feeling like maybe we get rid of the hammer. Actually, let's get rid of these spears. Like, we're not really using these spears anyway, right? Stashing camp. Oh, I can just put it in my camp. Oh, well, fuck. Oh, but I can break it down too. What happens if I break it down? I've, oh, okay, okay. Yeah, a spare bow. Yeah.

Not that it would have done us any good. Okay. Who's the ambassador? My savior. Oh, thank the gods. Your rival couldn't have been more timely. Don't thank the gods. Thank me.

I wouldn't have stood a chance against that beast. I owe you my life. Ambassador Falshian, Yil guard had your service. And you must be our imperial envoy. Better late than never, I say. Spare me the honorifics. We can't afford to linger here. Actually, I'll do number one. Keep it close until we're back at the embassy.

I prefer to take bad news in the comfort of my office. Okay. Aren't you going to introduce me to your capable companion? Can he be trusted? This is my boy, Lizard Dick. Well, did he now? A little fast. and we might have been able to save Clavenger Amon too.

Happy to have been of service, nevertheless. I'm charmed. I take it you had business with the clavager. Poor fellow. It was the bear. I killed him, of course. This wilderness has been a little too wild of late. Uh-oh.

It'd be a shame if word got around that you killed him pay up, and I'll see it doesn't happen. I don't appreciate extortion. tactics from the emperor's envoy. Take it. Let us not speak of this again. Gotcha, boo. We heard a long-in-a-hundred dollars. ...in the wilderness.

And a strange corruption moving toward the city. I'm rich, bitch! The changes in the ecosystem are expected, but this one was progressing too rapidly to ignore. Mm-hmm. We tracked the corruption all the way here, but all we found was that creature gone mad. This corruption is what the emperor sent me to know.

the Emperor sent me to investigate. The situation is more dire than I imagined. We need a plan of action before whatever this is consumes the living lands. Well, this is like if you open up your phone and like you put on the camera and it's facing you. It's like, oh geez. We have waited for you. Come. What's the matter?

Can you hear me? I'm fine, Ambassador. How about you? But you... Very well. If you say so. The Emperor trusts your judgment, and so do I. Whatever you think is best, I'll support it. You know something of our troubles.

That much is clear. What would you have us do? I'm going to try something with the Adra Kai. Be prepared to catch me if I pass out. Right behind you. Just be careful. Careful. The emperor would never forgive me if anything happened to you. Uh-huh. Take it.

I haven't seen a girl in this game for a while. Good game. True. So I've got to talk to the Rock. Okay. Uh, hello. You do a dream. From seasons of slumber. We have been waiting. You've been speaking to me since Fort North Reach. What do you want?

Who's we? taking and giving in equal measure we are the ache in the land the roots that run deep near to us me our memories are fractures me what's wrong with this drangle whatever you are on time for this you tell me what's wrong at this place or not corruption body invades the host fights back we feel the pain of this If an animal sickens after a fight as it howls and sees its agony If an animal sickens after a fight put the poor thing down Death things might be pruned some branches cut to save the tree

Under the flowers Leave me you help or not The rot festers we could suck the poison out Let green things grow and its place I want that. But a favor for a favor. Would you help us in return when we ask it? What do you want?

We offer you the power to heal and be healed and you would weedle and bargain? Decide, do you wish this power or not? Yes. A favor for a favor then? favor then this place shall heal and you shall know our power retire new again this world new again words will find you oh my god we opened the door oh oh the dream touch heals and revives on credible

Envoy, I don't know what you did. Reaculous. You all right? You look like you were in a trans for several minutes. What happened? What can you recall? Spare no detail. It seems I am a conduit of unknowable powers.

I've said the same thing after a flask of Eric. But I know better than to trust that feeling. I think you may have overexerted yourself. But once we're back in civilization, bed rest is in order. Inquisitor Ludween will need to hear of this. I've agreed to share my findings with the Steel Garote, as long as they do the same. Not that she has any interest in ecology. Ludwin is obsessed with our security, sees enemies lurking around every corner.

Shouldn't the Steel Garot report to us? The steel garot provide us some much-needed protection. but they answer only to themselves. We have our interest in the living lands, and they have theirs. A mutually beneficial arrangement. Stay out of their way, and they'll return the favor. No promises. Ah, you're going to be troublesome, aren't you?

At least you're on our side. We'll talk more at the embassy. I'll ensure the Paradis militia give you free passage into the city. Ah, Envoy, what you've done here is truly amazing. Let's keep up the good work, eh? Just watch your step. There are swaths of the city barely more civilized than this. He's talking about the poor parts.

Okay, um, let's go this one. Whatever the Impliciters like, she can't be worse than that there. Can she? Let's see, we get some of that. Jumped over through this. there in water. I'm very disappointed at the lack of underwater treasure chests. Really starting to piss me off. Oh, never mind. Yep, never mind.

Full of surprises, aren't boy? I'd heard Godmites have strange powers, but I've never known one to heal an entire growth. Guess your emperor really did seem the right person for the job, huh? Still, you have your work cut out for your impaired. I don't know why I did that. That's literally the worst place for me to fall off at too. How did that, how did that even happen? I don't even know.

The path to Paradis is a tad overgrown, but I can find my way back. Ooh, damn bro, we're getting a lot of loot. This is a big loot situation. What's that? A phantom. Let me go talk to the Rock. Set up party camp? Yeah, I guess we can do that. Requires a totem base.

And I can't enchant any of my weapons yet. And then my work bitch. So how are we feeling about... I just don't know what we should upgrade. So I feel like with this, there's like a guarantee that we upgrade this unique armor, right? Like this is big dick armor. Let's upgrade the armor for sure, right? The bow is the most fun to watch.

Okay, yeah, well, let's do that. Let's upgrade this right now. Okay, easy. And then we don't have enough peltz. And then, so now we're going to buy bow. We're going to do the bow again, all right? This is a big dick bow. As much as I want to...

Is there a place where I can buy more branches? I feel like there would be, right? Home Depot. What about a tree? The branch store? Okay. I'm just thinking. All right.

Nice work. That'll help against whatever we face out there. Let me store some of my items. I don't really need either one of these. I don't need this. Pistol, I'm not going to use this. I'm just going to pretty much store everything that I'm not using. And these are grenades, so we're going to keep them.

Field guard doesn't seem like the kind of man you'd send to the frontier, does he? Okay. Um. You seem much better suited to it. No Pew Pue. Well, it's more that like the gun... See, like, this is one of the things companion about... Oh, oh, I didn't put another point to him. I feel like 20... 30 seconds is about the length of a combat encounter.

So this is like reducing his damage taken by 25% almost as a baseline. So I think we're gonna go with that. And then we can also get health regeneration after that. Because like there's two ways to prevent, you know, him from getting killed, right? is like you either um like he either doesn't take damage or uh he heals the damage can i kill these oh i can i didn't think that would even work okay all right let me try 77 that's an assload of damage oh what's that god power thing again yeah how does that work in rauwitai you don't abandon good supplies okay i'm just gonna look around

Let me guess. Okay. I've been preparing for that moment for the last 30 years of my life. There, maybe. Nice. That looks value. I'm just going to loot all of these so I can disenchant them. I mean, this is a special chest.

We're going to loot it. I'm also going to buy more lock picks while we're in town. The branches are really useful. Okay, so I can't go up there. Let's go this one. Sure. No, it's not how it works. Okay.

Well, let me get some food then. I'm going to eat. Okay, so we've got inventory. Where's my food? There's, okay. I guess we're just, we're just gonna eat this. It's 150. Yeah, this is actually really good that I've looted all this.

Oh my God. Dude, we're getting a lot of stuff. Okay, and we're gonna also disenchant all of this stuff. And then for armor, I feel like I already have this. Like I mean, there's never gonna be a world where I don't use that item. You can kindly to settlers. Later bitch. There's another one.

Line of sighting. I wonder if I can do a gunshot after this. Yeah. Somebody wants some freedom? Fuck! Okay. Uh... Oh no.

Don't. Oh, who's this guy? Let me go over here. Uh, shine magic missile? Wait, what? Oh, a ranger. Oh, fuck. Thanks, Kai.

Hey, hey, hey, keep up the good work, buddy. You're really doing a lot. Oh, fuck. He was really fast. Watch a bitch. Actually went really well. Did you guys see that? That guy got cooked. Okay.

Um. Ooh, looks like there is a way to get in there. Easiest game of my life, bro. Actually, easiest game. Legendary chest? Boots of the dick layer. What does I do? Eh, that's not very good.

Carry capacity is not very valuable in this game, it feels. Okay. Um, I don't know, like, if I should just keep going, like, I have no idea. What's in the box? Okay. Hey. Golden scale of order. Oh, wow.

That's huge. Okay, let's go down this way. Is this still tutorial island? I feel like it's not. I feel like we've actually... Can I loot these? Let me check if I can loot these. Yeah, I can.

Okay, so I always want to loot these. And I can loot these in order to use fire in different areas that I can't use him to it on. Okay, so I'm assuming there's going to be a chest down here, right? Yeah, there is. Okay, I got it. Alright, I feel like we looted, like we did pretty much everything here. I'm gonna double check.

Check out this camp up here. The so-called godless people. Disappeared central as a couple of less. Uh, I feel like these guys are too high level, right? No, no, no, it's fine. Wow, that was a lot of damage. Um, looks like we're probably gonna die here.

Shit! Okay, it's this guy. Give me a minute. I'm trying to get my bearings here. I'm like really choking right now. Oh my god. Why is he so powerful, but the other ones aren't? I don't understand now. I'm gonna feel pie. Yeah, see how much health this guy has? I legitimately feel like this is a bug. It's a mini boss? Well, no. just doesn't make sense that like the random bowman did like my entire health pool like i was totally i was totally thrown off by that because the bowman wasn't i i don't understand why would that happen that was odd unless there's two bosses i think it says that guy's like level 11 or something right i'm gonna i'm gonna give it one more attack or one more attempt dude what the fuck

see how he just does so much damage and this one doesn't like instantly dies. Try and get away. Yeah, see what I'm saying? Like, he's actually harder than the boss. Because one attack from him is going to kill me. I think it's those skulls. I hit the wrong button.

The fuck? It just spawned a bunch more of them. Yeah, I had to call my dad. Yeah, I actually meant to meet my back there, but I didn't. Okay, it doesn't matter. Yeah. That's good. Okay, and so let's look over here. Part of it was muted. Really? Okay. I mean, it's not a fucking secret. I just told my dad I'd help him out with some stuff later on today. He's like hanging out with like one of his friends and so he told me he probably just like come over in a bit.

Careful. Looks like I give a fuck about a spider, bro. What? Damn, bro. They go in that, they're doing that sidewalk. They're doing that sidewalk. shit okay all right let's move in where that where that where they're at where they at oh shit there they at fuck it boom bitch I get him shit how did I get him shit show me what you can we got to swap over the bow that's what's your I can't how did I miss that Jesus Christ, why would I do that?

That's stupid mistake. Do it. Jesus. Jesus. Okay. Oh, oh, it shows me items that I can... Oh, I'm looking at my mini map. You guys can't see it because my camera's over it.

But there's actually an indicator. It tells me, like, where I can loot things. You can resurrect your companion from far with four. Really? Oh, I haven't tried that or done that. Maybe I should. Oh, I thought that was a beetle. Damn, those beetles are...

Those are some big dick beetles. Jesus. Okay, after this thing we should teleport back. I hit the wrong button. Okay. I got another gun. I feel like I'm just randomly running around killing things. I don't think that there's really a lot of value I'm getting out of this.

I think let's... let's teleport back. What, that's gonna come range cuck? We need a sword. Um, honestly, I probably should use the sword more. Is it here? Okay. The bow is ma'am? I feel like I see a lot of people, what they're using, a lot of the videos I saw was them using magic. I think magic is decent, but...

Well, well, if it isn't the new arrival... We gotta kill this bitch. So eager to make a name for himself. We've got to kill this bitch, we do it. If you're looking for the ambassador, you've already found him. do gooder yeah he and pod we aren't so fond of outlanders they're racist ones looking as strange as you for all we know you're one of those sick bastards the plague carrier a blight on our fair city crack your knuckles not much of a talker are you

i'm just gonna intimidate that hey it's all right you're talking enough for all of us No one brings the plague into my town, outlander. No one. At least you can die knowing it wasn't personal. Okay. Let's make it quick. You're not the only one with places to be. Good.

I was getting tired of listening to them anyway. Falking. What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? Oh. Oh. Oh.

Too bad. Handsome bounty for information. Oh, damn. Bro, she was trying to roach me out. She was trying to roach me out and tell... She's trying to tell on me. We gotta kill this guy too? Yeah, I didn't think so, pussy.

I didn't think so, bitch. I'll go where the fuck I want. Oh, wow. Is this where unicorns live? is it a girl it looks like it's a girl you should be free whole the blood feeding your veins why are you here something tells me you're asking me i don't even understand what just happened the arrow struck then your soul found us here in the emptiness where the god's

of DEI so true We couldn't dip. Feel them near. We are trapped like wasps in amber. But you-you- Just fucking resurrect me, bitch. You know what you're gonna do. So is this the beyond? This does not matter.

The branches of your life were pruned. Yeah, bitch, chill out. An arrow broke the skin. He spread through the root and killed your heart. It silenced the song in your mind. Too bad I couldn't take my killer one. with me. Riving like a dying Adam can give you this chance.

We could send you back. Just this once. Wait. I can just agree to die permanently? What happens if I click this? Are you truly so blind? There will be no next life for you. The same roots that find us...

I'm gonna insist on dying. Accept our gift and free us in return Or share our prison forever Doesn't seem like I have a choice Use our waning strength to free you Of course Then you must find us Free us from our prison

This is gonna hurt isn't it All birth is agony You're awake? Thank the gods For a second there I thought I had a problem on my hands It's gonna take then more than a little murder to keep me down. You're alive somehow.

That's what counts. Glad to see you with us. I was sure you were already on your next trip around the wheel. But I brought you here just in case. Some kind of like reincarnation velocity. It's Liviana. Though whatever restored you is beyond even her skill. The voice brought me back.

I'm sure of it. A voice. I take it you don't mean Liviana ordering me around There's something I still don't understand Envoy, you died How about that? Not sure All I did was stitch you together

Your soul did the heavy lifting The metaphysical heavy lifting anyway What does this mean for him Should he expect anything else strange Other than Coming back from the dead? I mean. That depends on a few things.

Vision and hallucinations, likely. Manifestations of past lives. Uncommon, but possible. Clear your throat loudly. Now, look at us. Rambling on like you're still the bloodied corpse. This is far beyond my expertise. You should visit Roonid, our local watcher.

She would know what to make of your strange, stubborn soul. Okay. A feat none yet have yet achieved. I don't blame you for your misgivings, but Runeid is the real thing. Go and see for yourself. A watcher examines the soul down to its very core. I can't think of anyone more qualified for the job. I guess I'll try anything once.

Your confidence is appreciated, Envoy. Runeid's shop is in the hills to the northeast. A bit of a walk. Okay. Just head out of the game. to the east of town and follow the path that curves to the north. It should be perched up in the hills. Oh, but avoid the watcher in high town.

She's a known charlatan. Okay. I'll send word to the ambassador that you survived, but he'll no doubt want to talk to you. Duty calls. Head up the stairs outside my clinic and take a left onto the main road. That'll get you to the embassy. All right. What's he going to do anyway?

You've already died and come back. Either way, I should go with you. Your assassination is bound to have stirred things up. I appreciate the help, Kai. Don't mention- That's my boy. Besides, I don't want this to blow up any more than you do. The sooner we solve your murder, the better for everyone. Mm-hmm. Then we should talk back at camp.

I'm hoping you can help me understand what just happened to you. All right. Yay. Oh, does she sell stuff? Any in? What's she sell? No, uh, 20% maximum essence. I mean, that's not permanent though, right? Or some shit?

So who cares? Okay. I don't think it's worth unlocking. It's a small box. Stupid ass old man. You didn't even see that shit. Uh, find a cartographer. Okay. Uh, where the fuck is the cartographer? Yours are godlike, the Adir and envoy. Yeah. You're the one who saves the ambassador from the Strangle Road. Yeah. That was me.

Interesting. Say, would you be up for helping out some down on their luck, Adirons, who can't catch a break? I can try. Galarde. Loughlin and Gladwain came here about eight years ago, long before the recent rush of Adirans. They admitted to having a checkered pass back home, but they started a new life in Paradise. Back then, you'd struggle to find an Adirin in the city. Now they're everywhere.

Do you have a problem with adherence? I just let her keep talking. Anyway, with all these adherents coming in, Loafled and Gladbine started spotting old faces. Mm-hmm. And if they were spotting old faces, and it was only a matter of time before those faces started spotting them back.

They're lying low in the shantytown for now, but they mean to leave for thirdborn. Why don't we kill them? Aderans in the shanty town. I doubt they're getting a warm welcome. Most of the people there are, decents run out by Adir. They're afraid to go out in public and Gladvine, poor soul.

He's gone blind from bed drink. I'm not sure why you think I can help with that. Ah, but you can. There are herbs in the wilds around Paradise that can restore Gladwine's sight. It's a little too dangerous for us ordinary folks, but for the Adyrian envoy, for the hero who braved the strangle root? I'm sure it would be no problem. Do you feel like there's too many women?

Maybe with flattery is a nice touch. Uh, man, it's been at least one, so yeah. Many thanks, Envoy. Oh, there is one more thing they need. Mm-hmm. They've already paid for them. There's a Rawa-Ayan in the Pearl District, Miko, who was handling the paperwork. Do that yourself.

Oh, God. Oh, God. It's best if someone else goes. All right. Thank you, Envoy. God bless you. Great. And what else is there? I gotta go loot this. Give me that fish.

Ooh, can I go in here? Ooh, I don't even know what the hell I'm doing. I just went in there, click the button. Hi, market. A haven of opulence and another wide. Damn, look at this. Merchant. Nice. Nice. I'm gonna talk to the merchant. Where the merchant is inside here. We should stop by Sansa sometimes.

There's nothing like it, that... Welcome to... What do you got? Okay, uh, Adra, Bearwood. Okay, so this is all for... Okay, I got big money too. Yeah, I do. I really got a lot of money. I need to buy more wood.

That's what I need to do. I need to buy wood. Do you think there's too many many men in the game? You can't afford it. Damn, bro, they're really in the lizards, huh? Hey, it is one of these, right? Don't sign any petitions, no matter what anyone says. I'm telling you that's supposed to walk. Okay.

Who's this guy? Worried Paradisian? She told me to go see a man about a cure. She said he had an elixir. Am I supposed to meditate or something? She didn't make any sense. I don't understand. How do you cure?

cure a sick soul anyway. This isn't what the healer said it would be like. She told me, am I supposed to meditate or something? What the fuck? So easy. I see it, I see it. Big money. Get that loop, bitch!

Okay. What else is there? Can I walk on these? No! That was good. I know I feel safe with the guard presence around here. There's a joke about Paradis's government in here somewhere. I'm just looking around.

Damn, rickety table. Don't to worry. Good. Yeah. This is a big game. It is a big city game. Okay, okay. I'm gonna stop and like give some, uh, like some kind of, some kind of, like a review of the game a little bit, right? A first impressions of the game.

We talk a little bit about it. And so much walking. I feel like for a 30-hour game, it sure seems like they invested a lot into the world building. You know, like, I feel like it's kind of odd to me because it seems to me like if you were going to invest this much into a game, you know, you'd want to make sure.

Where's the box? How the fuck do I get? Oh, there it is. Um, so it's good. So is the game good or not? That's the question people are probably wondering. Is the game good? I will tell you this. There are a lot of things about this game that are, uh, not amazing. Uh, I'll just say that.

But to have I had fun playing the game? That's the, that's really what matters, right? Have I had fun playing this game in the time that I've been playing it? The answer to that is actually, yes, I have had fun. I think that the dialogue in this game, you know, I was thinking to myself, is it better than Wuthering Waves, which is a fucking pay-to-win crappy gotcha game? And I keep going back and forth about it, is it better or not? And I think that it's really, I mean, a jury's out on that one. So if you're not even able to beat gotcha slop, is it really that great of a story,

that great of a narrative? I don't really think so. I think the narrative's kind of boring. So I think that's probably my, that's my biggest criticism. And also there's a lot of things in the game where, like, so let's let's do a little, let's do a little positives and negatives, right? Um, no pad. Okay.

Oops. Um, okay. A vowed. Uh, positive. negatives. Okay. So positives. Cool exploration.

And platforming. So I feel like that was fun. I've liked the cool, the exploration, like being able to run around, stuff like that. I think that was cool. Negatives, high difficulty equals

Unreasonable Amount of health I think that's boring And Let's see positives Oh Character creators below average I would say

It was okay But it was below average Like if you compare it to I mean I think Dragon Age Vailgard Better character creator like obviously cyberpunk better character creator pretty much every

every one of the games better character creator oh negative is also a narrative okay obviously so far and then let's look at some positives so it does feel fluid and responsive to play which I think is really important

and I like that companions companions are okay You played in the highest difficulty, then you say that high difficulty is negative? No. So there's a lot of ways that you can make something harder, right? You can add in additional mechanics. You can make existing mechanics occur faster.

You can make the player take more damage, or you can give the monsters more health. Now, almost every single game applies difficulty in a one-dimensional way, where the higher the difficulty, the more health and damage the monsters do, and that's the only metric of difficulty that's existing in the game. Now, if I compare this with, for example, Kingdom Come Deliverance, and the amount of world building and Kingdom Come Deliverance and the NPC dialogue, it's like comparing, like, Rings of Power to Lord of the Rings.

It's not even remotely close. They have really, really good dialogue in Kingdom Come Deliverance, And because I have played it quite a bit after the stream. I, like, did the blacksmith thing. I talked to, like, the guy. You have, like, paint some bowl or something like that. And so I've played, I'm playing it off stream. And show hours.

It won't matter because I left the game on overnight. Is the game intuitive? Yeah. The game is intuitive and easy to learn. Oh, graphics and open world. feel good to explore. So I would say it definitely felt good. Like the graphics were good for sure.

Graphics are great. Well, what I mean by that is like, so if I go and I look at this, like this looks really nice. Like visually, especially being able to get out on like an over, like, let me see if I can get to somewhere higher up. Right? It'd be pretty easy to do that. Can I go up here? Let me see if I can. Can I?

No, not quite. Oh, another one. I might as well with this one here. No trash open world. Yeah, if you didn't like it, that's totally fine. I'm just giving my opinion, right? And so, like, I don't care. I'm not sponsored by these people. If you think the game sucks dick, I don't give a fuck.

I don't care at all. I'm just giving you my opinion. There's a chest up there. I wonder how to get that. And so, like, I like the things like that where, like, you have to explore around. I hate the companions, honestly. I don't mind the companions.

I think they're okay, but I haven't really spent enough time to, like, really develop a strong opinion about them, at least not yet. So, I don't know. But, yeah, I would say, like, having all the little chess looks like a generic ancient town. Yeah, it's easy to say that. I think that's fine. Now, personally, I don't feel that way, and I like the town. I think that it's nice. Yeah, that's about it.

I mean, you know, it's just a matter of opinion. I feel like in terms of narrative, this basically is, again, pretty much Dragon Age Veilgard in first-person mode, which, to be fair, you can use third-person mode. But I don't really think that it plays very well. It doesn't feel good to use in the same way that it does. Even Dragon Age Third Person mode feels way better because the game's designed for that. This game is designed for first-person mode. Oh, I leveled up.

And... A perfectly good house has to sit around. empty. Let's see. What else do we really have to think about and talk about? This game looks good. I enjoyed playing this game. I did. I think I will probably play more of this game. Now, will I play more of this game on stream? To be honest with you guys, I really don't want to promise that. The reason why is that Eldon Ring Night Rain is coming out. Now, if let's say theoretically, Eldon Ring Night Rain wasn't coming out, would I play this game a second day on stream? The answer to that is actually yes, I would. So if I had the opportunity,

to, I would actually, in fact, play this game more. The only reason I'm not is because there's something else going on too. Played on Monday. Well, we also, I think there's something else coming out next week, too. I forgot even what it was. But I could be wrong. Either way. And, like, I also want to say that I went into this kind of, like, really being, like,

negative about the game. Like, I was expecting this game to be really bad because, like, that one, like, art director guy that worked at the company that was, like, a huge asshole. He's, like, racist against white people. It was really, really cringe and weird. But at the end of the day, you know, I always, you know, I'm going to separate the art from the artist kind of guy. So, like, I don't really care that much about that kind of stuff, but I find it to be annoying. And it'll never hold me back from playing a video game, right?

And so, yeah, it's that simple. Like, for example, I think Pedro Pascal is an amazing actor. I love him. But every single time did I read about his take on politics, I've, I, I, I get annoyed. So I just don't listen to it, right? It's that easy. And so it's that, and I'm sure you guys probably,

there's some of you guys that feel that way about me. And so it's really just kind of common sense, reasonable person behavior. And so anyway, what would I rate the game so far? I would say the game's a solid seven. I think the game is a seven. I would even say it might even be a seven and a half. But I would say,

say a seven. Same as the IGN review. Well, I'd have to, I'd have to like play more of it and find it out for myself. You're exactly right in your prediction. Yeah, I thought this game, because I saw like Force talk about it and then a couple other people talk about it. And like, with Vailgard, I felt like nothing about Vailgard looked good. And I said Vailgard was a six, too. Like, I try not to, like, I meme about games a lot about them being like super. bad and like oh this game sucks so bad but the reality is that i try to be very fair how many people actually played this game on uh so are they not showing the amount of people playing as advanced access requires a bot to own the game considered to the pot didn't even own the

they don't even own the game for a vowed okay so they have no idea uh nobody even knows whether they're playing it or not uh no because early access yeah but well i mean Well, if you can, if you, if the public can pay for a game, I think that there's, that that's important to know. Right? Yeah, for sure. 7.5, I give you what he said earlier. It's a woke game that allows you to RP as yourself within the world and not be smothered by an ideology. Yeah.

And I don't think it's that big of a deal either. It was good. How do you feel about the combat, positive or negative? I think that the melee combat, like any first person melee combat game, I actually really don't like first person melee combat. I didn't really like it in dark and darker. I don't like it in Kingdom Come Deliverance. I don't like it in cyberpunk. I just don't like it.

It doesn't feel good to do. That being said, this is just my opinion, right? I mean, other people love it. But I just prefer, I think that it's okay. It's like if you have like the energy sword and Halo 2 or like Gravity Hammer, like, you know, a couple of other things, right? But like, or like, like, Reinhart and Overwatch. but in a general sense, no, I'm not a fan of it.

James Dolan's 2 combat is action combat. Yeah, well, I'm just not a fan of it, right? That's all there is to it. And Steam reviews are sitting at mostly positive, 78%. Yeah, I mean, I think that's fair. So yeah, I mean, I went into this game, you know, kind of expecting it to be like literal garbage. And it turns out that it's actually really not literal garbage.

It's not. Like, it's, I mean, the narrative, I think, is mediocre. right? I think that I think the narrative of the story is probably the least interesting part about the story. And I think with a game like this, it's like when I see the amount of effort and detail that they put into like developing the city, it's kind of surprising that this game was only clocked in to be played for about 30 to 40 hours because I feel like a game like this has enough of a foundation to be like a 100 hour game, right? I do think so. Like this is a game that I think that if it sells, well, they probably should do an expansion for it because there probably would be more content that they could add in that there's more that you can expand the game into.

And so, yeah, it's probably 40 hours main story. I don't know. It was like that in Outer Wilds. It's not super long. Yeah, yeah, no doubt. Do you think the art director did a good job? I think it's pretty middle of the road, to be honest. Like, I don't think that a lot of designs

are like really incredibly great. I don't think they're bad either. I think they're just pretty much middle of the road. You know, it's not very, like, there's not a sense of style to it, or at least from like what I've seen. But it just, it feels like it has, it's a relatively high fidelity, Unreal 5 game. The art direction, yeah, the art direction is just kind of decent.

I don't understand your negatives. Can you elaborate more? Uh, yeah, um, the difficulty didn't really feel interesting and like the bosses just have a million health and it's like they're, they're just HP sponges. And art direction is dog shit. Yeah, yeah, sure. Character creator. I thought the character creator wasn't very good. Um, narrative is mediocre, etc. Yeah, this is pretty much a, how do you feel about progression? Progression is good. Uh, rating 7 to 7.5 out of 10. that is my rating and my evaluation of avowed. There we go. What's a good example of hard difficulty games? I'd say Halo legendary mode,

but I think also difficulty modes in almost always cases, they are pretty much just like higher health. But I think if you want to look at it in an abstract sense, probably something like wow raids or like Final Fantasy raids, where not only is the game harder, but it also has, or like Ninja Guidon, maybe actually not Ninja Guidon. Like, I think that's probably the best example. Wuthering waves, yeah, like, whenever you do like the holograms of like bosses and like these

are like, you know, in the game like challenge bosses, as you go up in difficulty, the boss will add in new mechanics to make it more interesting and compelling. And that's basically it. MMOs don't count. Well, like what I'm saying is that. I think that games that introduce, like, new mechanics and new functionalities at higher difficulty levels are more interesting. So, no examples?

Well, I gave, like, three examples, didn't I? I gave World Warcraft. I gave Final Fantasy, and I gave Wuthering Waves. So, like, those are three examples. So, like, I don't know. Also helps for playability. Hades. I don't know about Hades.

I'd have to look at Hades. So no fourth example? I don't know. I'd have to think about it. And, um, how is true? Streaming the game? Streaming is fine. Yeah, it was totally fine.

Not a big deal. The vault and dude, like, in Lost Ark. Well, I only did him on one difficulty mode. I didn't do him on hell. Is it better than Starfield? Yeah, I enjoyed this game more than Starfield. Yeah, this game's better than Starfield.

Is it worth $70? It depends on what $70 is worth to you. Like, I don't, like, the thing is that there's some guys that $70 is like, it doesn't really matter. And there's other people that, like, Like, you know, maybe they're not even in the U.S. So they have like a currency conversion rate, which is kind of shitty. So like $70 for them, it's like, okay, well, this is like $200, you know, equivalent, right?

Or $140. So for that, I mean, I don't know. I think that if this game came out and it was like $50, I think that it would be a lot. Like, I would have no problem saying, yes, it's worth the money for $50 or $40. For $70, I feel like that's something. that I would only reserve for something like Monster Hunter Wilds, Elden Ring, Baldersgate 3, or I'm trying to think of another game, another big, like, Kingdom Come Deliverance 2. Like, that's a $70 game.

But, like, that's just the way I feel about it. Stalker 2 is a $70 game. Yeah. Wu Kong is a $70 game. Yeah. $50 for X edition 33? Yeah. Yeah, I saw that.

Value in games is even harder considering AAA games have been 60, 70 bucks for 20 years. Yeah, yeah, no, you're right about that. And I think that, you know, this game, yeah, I think it's pretty decent. That's 10 hours the stalker two are really bad. I haven't got that far.

Is this more woke bullshit? I mean, you were allowed to select your pronouns and you could like mix and match gender identity things. Like you could wear makeup as a female or as a male and like have facial hairs of female, I'm pretty sure. But I don't really see that as like being woke. I don't really care a lot about that. Like if a game is woke, in my opinion, I think that you have like a lot of

performative, like, political themes that seem to be like mirrors of like current socioeconomic issues. And I don't think that there has been anything. There's nothing that I've observed from the story or game that feels woke to me. Does that make sense? Yet? Well, of course, yet. I mean, I haven't finished the game. This is my, this is obviously yet. Yiddly characters. Yeah, I mean, I think the characters could look more attractive for sure, but it's okay. Same happened in Vailgard. I think Vailgard had a number of instances where it was like kind of cringe, what they were saying. But it was weird because in Vailgard, a lot of the companion storylines were better than the main storyline. I actually think the main storyline was like very low quality. But the storylines of like Emmerich and, uh, uh, uh, uh, Asan, not a

son, no, the guy that was like, that that's the bird. The guy that was like having a son, like his owner. Davern. Yeah, Davern. There you go. I think that like their stories were really good. Maybe I don't know about really good, but they were like, I would say above average. They were good. So yeah, that's my opinion. Nice included game and game pass. Yeah. I mean, if you, if this game is a game pass game for you and you have game pass,

I would recommend trying it. So yeah. But anyway, tomorrow is a very big day because tomorrow is going to be Elven Ring, Night Ring. And we have a very late stream because the game doesn't come out until like nine or something like that. So, yeah, we change your score after playing 20 hours. How could I possibly know that? How could I possibly know if I'm going to change my score? Yeah, I have no idea.

And so, like, we'll see. But anyway, guys, thank you all very much for watching. I appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, boys. I will be back on tomorrow. And we will play more games then and get into some more of the, I'm sure, drama that we'll keep up with at that time then.

Two, are you going to put them in Macari or does that come later? Probably first day, we talked about it a little bit. Probably if we're going to do that, it'll be like a couple of, like a day or so after it because it's available for three days. But it depends on what they want to do. At the end of the day, I'm down to do whatever.

I mean, you know, it is what are they. is right one way or another so anyway guys uh thank you all very much for watching i appreciate it and i'll be back on tomorrow all right boys peace see it