Asmongold TV - So I Tried Mewgenics.. | Asmongold TV

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

So I Tried Mewgenics.. Asmongold podcast for all of his stream highlights, competitions, reactions & more. ----- -------------- Keywords: gaming culture, gaming opinions, world of warcraft, asmongold, gaming news, gaming community, streamer podcast, streaming highlights Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're gonna try this game out, see what it's all about. Take a look at this. Eighty-three thousand people played this fucking game. This is insane. It's a cat. Hello? Cat? Right?

Ow! Hello? He says science. He goes and says, okay, yeah? Scared you, it scared you, didn't I? I know how scary a buzzword like science can be these days, but trust me when I say, science can actually be a good... Okay, I'll move it down.

Science can actually be a good thing sometimes. Take this table, for instance. A science made this table, and the floor it sits on. There are even people out there who believe that a science made you and I. That's Yakub! But I digress. The point I was trying to make here is that cats are a science too. A science that I, Thomas A. Beanie's, invented.

But what do you have to do with all this? Well, word on the street is that you're a bit of a felineologist yourself. Well, I know we just met, but I bet if you and I put our brains together, we could actually change the world. With cats! Now, take agandra at these five specimens. This is my latest batch. Straight out of their biovats. Choose two, a boy and a girl.

And then trust me, you'll find out later. Okay. I'm going to do this guy. This guy sounds cool. Okay, let's go with him. Is this a girl? What's wrong with bro? I hate women.

I didn't expect you to pass in the best of the bunch? No, I hate women. Next. Whatever their pieces will be put to good use. Oh, perfect, perfect. Yeah, there we go. Isn't nature just cruel? But it doesn't have to be.

In fact, I think that with my brains and your ability to choose less than ideal cats, we could really shake things up. Hell, with just enough cats, I bet we could reverse time. Maybe even make dying impossible. All I need is a new. radioactive blood and a bit of elbow grease. Don't worry. I'll be sure to harvest some of Brooke's elbows before she's incinerated.

Good. Now go, my child. Go into the world and hoard some cats! Okay? This is me and Mr. Cat out on an adventure. You can see there's two cats. What? Click here? I can't.

Oh. Yeah. Yep. Who's this? He kicked you out how he does that. And his bitch. Even though I couldn't give a fuck. I can't help to see myself out on you.

You get what I mean. You want to survive in a boom country. You're going to need to fight and have a fight. So listen up. This is your team. So I have two cats. Okay? This is the other team.

Your goal is to kill the cats. It's now Yog Miao Rons. You can tell the paw print above Yog Miao Rons head. This is Yog Miron's base attacks. It's Malay Range. Who needs to go to the rat to hit it? This is your movement action. You can move once per turn, click it, and you can move to the towel you want to.

Okay, let me move over there. Yeah. Okay, you're... What the fuck? What the fuck? I ask you move to next to the rat. Let's attack, let's try again, okay? It is next to him.

But it was. Now that you're next to the rat, you can attack it. Okay, this is your basic attack. All right, I'm gonna use it. Click attack, then click attack. then click the rat to attack it. Damn! I killed them! You really destroyed that bastard.

Did you not notice you got a buff whenever you killed that thing? It's because of that pass the ability, hover over it to learn what it does. Self-assured. You can also gain number of your cats to what the buff does too, okay? There are also spells. You only have one so far, and unfortunately you lack the man to cast it. This is how much mana of the spell cost. How do I get mana?

There's how much mana you have, okay? It says you gain mana at the end of your turn equal to the light bulb. There's nothing left to do within your turn, okay? It's now a Juxtus' turn. A Juxtus is a basic range attack. I'll select the need you to. You can see a preview of your basic range attacks. Okay.

Okay. Oh, I get it. Okay. Unfortunately, you're still unable to attack. You do have enough man to cast one of your spells. Oh, I do it? Take a look at the roll here. Roll only costs four mana.

And you have five. So does that mean I can use it? Okay, so I'm gonna go... Wait, do I go over there? Well, I should go to here. So she'll put him in range, right? You are in range to attack the enemy, and you should already know how to do that, attack it.

Okay? Oh, I hit him with the gun. You landed the shot, okay? That TomTom is pretty thick, however, so he'll take a few more hits to kill. So now it's his turn, though, right? Oh, he did six damage. Okay, it's Yog Miaoron's turn.

Cast your spell spit and then aim Okay, I'm gonna spit on his ass One And if they're gonna say I spit again Oh, I can spam Okay Well that's really good Ah, okay

Point I trust you can finish the rest of your own I'm gonna let you, okay, all right, here we go Now I can play Okay Move Go right here and I'm Malay And I'm Malay attack Okay

and then I intern and then I use this one and then I do my basic attack. I'm going to shoot him right in the head. Damn, Mr. Cat is dead. Victory in two rounds. And I got $3 and five chicken wings. Beginners luck. Okay, listen, anytime I finish combat, your Katz is going to level up. Check out all the juicists.

He's about to get a whole lot better. Just look at all the options. It's going to let you choose myself, but I felt I needed to point something out. It's a pretty awesome combo here. His passive effect right here, blooded burns you inflate okay so then I want to go with sunburn right oh wow take it okay I'm gonna go with this so I got five chicken wings well that's really good okay hats passers make or break a run okay always be on the lookout for abilities

that can combo okay all right next what the fuck is what the fuck is this butch blocks your path should you use brawn or brains to get past him Um, okay, well, there's like, it's a, this one says three and this one says eight. So I'm gonna go with eight, we're gonna go, because eight's a bigger number. Ooh! Well, hello, Mr. Fancy Pants, you're lucky you're, you're, oh damn, I got a small catnip bag. That's pretty good, right? Okay, let's go to the next one.

What's in the box? A stick? That's it? I just got a stick. Okay. Hold up. You don't want to go into this boss. I'm prepared. You have items you haven't equipped yet. Wait, what? Oh, I can equip the stick. A melee attack with one plus one reach. Okay. Well, I don't think we need a juist with this. Let's give it to the other guy. Let's give it to Yog Miaoro. Yeah, we got to use it to him because he's already got Malay attacks anyway. So, okay, and then this is mana. We don't need mana yet. Okay, let's go. equip the damn...

Wait, what? Did I do something wrong? Well, I didn't know how it works. Okay. Okay, fluffy girls versus pebbles. You're gonna get rocked. Oh, that's a dog. It's time for a boss fight.

I try and pebbles myself. Show me what you got. Okay. One last tip before I leave you. Attack from behind to do more damage. Okay. All right? Okay.

Um, I can't... So if I go to here, and then I used Mr. Stick. Oh, I stabbed him. Okay, good. And then I'm gonna, oh, I can't melee. Okay. Oh, he's running away.

Oh, shit. Okay, let me move. I'm gonna go right over here. And then we're gonna use the attack right here. Nice. Okay, that's good. And what else can I do?

Can I click on that? No. Okay. Okay. I think I'm going to Should I use the bag? I'm going to use the bag. I'm using the bag. Let me do this. There, that way you guys can read.

Okay. So then I want to use the burn on him. Two damage. Now he's on fire. I'm going to do it to him again. He's got four. Oh, four stacks. Oh, that's crazy.

So you might have noticed this already, but take a look up here. This is the order to the enemies take their turns. Okay, all right, that's fine. Got it. Ooh, what a loser. He missed. Okay. I'll spit on him.

Oh, spitting on him gets rid of the burn. Oh, my God. Bro, like, I didn't know that. How am I supposed to know that? I'm going to go right up in his fucking face. And I'm going to spit on him again. I might as well. And now I end?

Hold on, buddy. Don't end your turn just yet. You can still attack with your weapon. Oh. Oh, I can do it again. Okay. I didn't know that. Okay, that's pretty good.

He's barely even doing any damage. Okay. All right, go over there. And now I'm going to burn him. I'll burn his ass right now. Big Dick. Okay, and now I'm going to do, I'm going to shoot him with the gun. Seven damage, that's crazy.

Okay, what's he going to do? He's going to try and push me back again. Three damage, that's it. Okay, let me move. All right, I'm going to move over to him right here. And then I'm going to use the stick. I'm going to hit him with a stick. And I can't malay him, can I?

Okay, I've got to end the turn. Boulder drop. Wait, what that is? Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Well, damn, it looks like a judicus got hit pretty hard. Don't worry, though. He's not dead, only down.

When a cat gets down, they get injured, and one of their stats gets reduced permanently. Don't let their body get hit too many times or they'll actually die. As long as your other cats can finish the fight, your down cats will still survive, so finish the fight. So he just basically is going to kill me. Well, what the fuck?

Okay. I'm going to move. Move over right here. And then I'm going to hit him right now. Big dick I'm gonna hit him with this too And then how much health does he have left Oh he's gonna have one health left

God damn it Fuck I'm just gonna end the turn doesn't matter Okay Wait why is he doing two attacks Okay now I deep dick him right Oh no I can't get to Oh it's a rock

Wait oh I can spit on him twice Wait a minute I think I'm actually good at this Let's see here Yog Meow Ron Let's go. I'm going to give them the shield. I think blocking damage seems really good. Okay?

The path. All right, congrats. You did good out there. The Fernhurst Venture venture, it's time to go home. You'll bring back food, coins, items, treasures, and injuries gain during your journey. These supplies will hopefully prove useful at some point. Okay? If you ever want to save and just exit a run, just click that thing.

Okay? Bye. All right. Let's go. Now what? The fluffy girls. Uh, let's head to the house on the hill. Well, hello, neighbor.

Yes, it's me, Mr. Tinkles. You've no doubt heard about me around town. And yes, all the rumors are true. I spread them myself, just like my legs. What am I saying? God, I'm so bad. Anyway, you can call me Twink. My God, look at these kitties.

They just return from home and they look absolutely busted. Cats that have already been on an adventure are retired. That means they won't be able to go on any more adventures. So why don't you take these guys inside so they can relax comfortably? Okay? They seem pretty comfortable, I guess. So now you can end the day and watch what happens when the lights go off. When you end the day, every cat will eat one food.

Make sure you always have more than enough. Wait, are they gonna... What the fuck? What the fuck? Okay. Um, all right. That's crazy. Oh my, what an eventful night.

Don't tell my wife about what we saw. Ah, you have a new kitten. She'll need to grow up before she can go on an adventure. Don't worry. There's something in the water here that makes them grow up in like one day. Also, look, a stray has come to your house looking for love. You should totally take them inside, right? Once you have made enough kittens and collected enough strays,

you can take them on an adventure to find more supplies. You want four fresh kitties to send up. on an adventure, but you don't have enough yet. So just like keep ending the day and collecting strays until you do. Also, you can click the kitten to see if she inherited anything from her parents and check her stat. Mini. Has sunburn and... Wait, so this is a cat breeding game? What the fuck? Well, they're not gonna... What the fuck is this? And there's another cat. Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, this is good. Look, look. Okay. So now, what do I do? Okay, so I'm gonna get... Okay, that's good. I'm gonna end the day again. The neighbor was called.

Nothing of significance happened. Okay, oh yay. With that stray there, you should have enough cats to go on an adventure. Go put them in adventure box and get ready for a journey. Okay. Lawrence. Jack, who the hell is this?

Okay, uh, Riotto? Let's put Riato in here And then we're going to put Finina in here Okay, well you can't win them all right You know what, actually You know what, you're a loser If you weren't a loser

You would not be You would not have fallen out like that So I just honestly, if you miss the box That many times you probably shouldn't be there Check the stats? I don't need to I know what the stats are Okay, collars Eclipse class collars

Okay so Fighter Lawrence. What does Lawrence do? Okay. I'm trying to go back and forth. Okay, so they all have different abilities. Need another unit. Allies gain plus one damage. Okay, so this is a,

this is like a mage, right? I feel like that's a mage. That looks like a mage. I'm going to give that to her. Okay. And then Minnie, what does Minnie do? Okay, sunburn, short shot.

Okay, this is like a fucking short shot. That's a hunter ability. Okay, Lawrence. This is another, oh, oh, I can't do that. Okay, that's a fighter. Lawrence is a fighter. And what about Jack? Okay, he's the tank.

All right, we're good. We're ready. Stat check? I don't need to. I know what it's going to be. Okay, let's lock in. The Husky Fluffers. Let me get an item.

The alley. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay. All right. Go right here. And I'm going to attack. And I'm going to go to here.

And I shit on the floor. I shit on the floor for that. Okay. And then I'm going to move. Okay. And then I'm going to move over to here. And then. Okay, so I'm gonna use a dart and I'm gonna go and get...

I'm gonna go and get his ass right now. And then I'm gonna need another unit. Oh, I can't. Oh shit. Fuck! Okay, so that one's... Oh, I have Mr. Cat number two. Okay, Mr. Cat. Oh, this is Mr. Cat number three. Sorry.

Okay, I'm gonna move him over to here. All right. And then I'm gonna hit this guy. Ten! And then the final cat. I said five damage. Oh my God. Fuck, I can't. This is so bad.

Like, I... No, I'm actually losing. Like, fuck. Okay. Let me think right now. All right. Okay. I'm gonna kill this thing right now. Oh, I can't. Okay, I'm gonna move over to here. And then I'm gonna melee. I'm gonna melee right now.

Big Malay. Okay. And then I'm gonna end my turn. Okay, good. And now I'm gonna go and use, shoot a charged projectile within your line of sight. Fire blast. What the fuck? Wait, what?

This has an AOE? Okay, let me kill this guy right now. Okay, move. Okay, I'm thinking why I should do, how I should handle this. Okay, I'm gonna just end the turn. Oh, he's dead. Nice. Okay.

Um, okay, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna kill his ass right now. So easy. And I'm gonna do a burn on him. Easiest game of my life. And then I'm gonna move over to here. End the turn. And then I have Mr. Rees Hardcat. Um, I don't think he really does anything. Like, I'm just gonna end the turn. Doesn't really matter. Okay. Dash.

Okay. It's over. I win. I actually win. I'm a fucking god. Oh my god. Wait, I'm actually a legend at this game. Jesus, that's easy. That was easy, dude. Holy shit. Okay, so Fat Boy, that's really good. I think I'm gonna go with this. Belly flop. Yeah, and the reason why, wait, I got an item.

Gain five light bulb. Who has the most light bulbs? This guy has the most light bulbs. And so light bulbs make you do more mana. So I'm going to give him the light bulbs. Okay, good. Let's go back. All right.

Ray finds a little trash bin. Okay, so examine. Okay, I'm going to go with examine. Hello? She pushes the lid in. It's healed five health. Oh, that's really good. good. Okay, good. Let's go. Battle start. Okay. So now I need to go. Oh, these have seven health.

Oh, this is serious. Okay, I'm going to kill this. Wow. Wow. Okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. All right. I think. All right. Oh, no. I think I made a mistake. Okay, good. Oh, I can get money. That's my big dick cat. The red one's the big dick cat. Lawrence. Okay. Okay, and I can't belly flop yet, so we're just gonna move to here. I wish my tank was earlier on. Dash forward one space. Okay, well, I guess I'm gonna do that so I can move a little bit more. Okay, and then here, we're gonna move him to like right here.

That I big dick him? Okay. I don't know what happened. I'm gonna assume nothing. Okay, so, oh, I can aoe them down. Can I? Oh my This guy's a legend

This thing's insane Oh my Everybody's dying Okay, so All right Um I mean this one's gonna die anyway So it shouldn't really matter

Let me move I'm gonna go to here And then I'm gonna just melee this guy Okay And wait So should I Should I do like Exertion

and then I can move again so oh fuck I can't loot that shit fuck oh I looted that oh I got a food nice I'm a belly flop to here

and then I'm gonna punch attack this guy and then I'm gonna move to should I get this money oh I got money and I had to go and kill this guy over here oh fuck I can't do it shit Lobbied shot I can't

I actually can't do anything right now I have to end the turn 4 damage Fuck Okay All right I gotta take him out right now Not so bad Could have been a lot worse

Okay so Lawrence is the god Malay attack A bruise inflicts a bruise I don't care about that Move one tile directionally Um I mean

I guess we're going to use this I don't really know I think that we should have Like none of these are really that good They're really just not that great I mean I it's it's all right But Thunder

I mean I guess right But like I just don't I don't see why But I guess we could try it for like a boss or something right Disco basket For the rest of the battle Gain wait what is this here The Lips Charisma

Effects maxed mana and starting mana Okay, well I want to give that to the Mage, right? We're going to give that to the Mage Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's good. And then Manor Region, I guess we're going to give it to this guy.

Okay, that should be good. All right, let's go get this. What's in the box? A human leg bone? What? Oh, it's a... Oh, dude. Okay, so we're gonna give that to the tank. We're gonna give that to a tank.

Yeah, I like that. Okay, let's go down. A door bar is the way forward. It could be locked. What should he do? Okay, um, uh, I'm gonna do bash, bash, bash. Wait, Jack has suffered a broken paw. Well, what the fuck?

Oh, shit. Oh, that's a big boy. Okay. I think how we're going to handle this. All right. I'm thinking. I'm going to need Mr. Cat. And I'm going to move.

I can't hit his ass. Okay, I'm going to flank him. We're going to flank him right now. And I'm going to end the turn. Okay, good. And then May, May. We're going to move May May over here. And we're going to get him to, like, right here.

And I can't do anything else. God, how does this happen to me? Okay, give me a minute. All right, all right, uh, move. Wait. Okay, so, I'm gonna move. I'm a punch. Big dick.

Okay, so now I do a lobbying shot to him, and I don't think I need anything else. We're just gonna skip turn. I got him backed up. See? Look at me. I'm a fucking God. I got a pin.

in a wall. Okay, so now we're gonna move to like right here. Watch this, watch this. Oh, it doesn't work. So now we're gonna move back over to here. And

fuck. I'm gonna move over a bit. Okay, this is really this is actually really kind of bad. All right, so wait, what the hell is this? Scrap. What fuck is that?

Two armor. The fuck is armor. See, now he can't move. I got him pinned down. Okay, and now I'm gonna, I'm gonna plus three thorns. Okay? I'm thornsing, and now I'm gonna push attack again. See, I got him right there in the corner.

And I'm not gonna jump on him. I want to keep him there. No, I don't want to jump on them. Okay, and then I'm gonna set him on fire. And then I'm gonna shoot him with a gun. and I'm gonna end the turn. And now I'm gonna go to like, right here. And then I'm gonna go in,

and I'm gonna be like magic dart. And then I'm gonna go and do... I feel like I should need him. I can't, I can't. A fire blast. Oh, this is good. It'll keep the burn on them. I'm gonna burn them again.

Wait. Fuck, I didn't know that. Shit! I didn't think I could set my own guy on fire. Okay. But I can't even get to him though. This is my big damage character. I can't even get to him. I... I... I'm gonna move to here. I know what to do. I can't, man. I can't. Okay, I've got to end the turn.

Oh, he double missed. Okay, I'm gonna punch him again. I feel like I should just keep him here. I think I'm gonna keep him here. I know people might not think this is the right decision and that's probably because it's not, but it doesn't matter So I'm gonna set him on fire again. He's got five stacks of burn I knew it was the right decision only good players get crits. He's got one health Honestly, I think we beat the shit out of him

Look slow, drop to 1 HP Uh, that sounds stupid Uh, money? Uh, dude, like the jolt Like, I don't know if it's really that good, guys. Like, it only does one damage. Seems like it kind of sucks. I think the heel is good. Yeah, because I can stack heels up on people.

Okay, what's this? Backstabs heal you. Okay, so for backstabs, I'm going to give that to warrants. I'm not going hard. Okay, many finds a nail. Okay, I'm going to pull out the knife. You stupid bitch

But her paw slips And she cuts herself Causing her to start bleeding I literally had no other option Okay All right Let's do it Okay so now

All right No I got I got a plan I got plan right now I got plan Okay So What's the plan What's the plan?

Okay We're gonna go So like right here and then I'm in a magic missile Okay, good And then I intern This is good, this is good No, I'm ready, I'm ready

Okay, moving I'm gonna go to here Big Dick Big Dick dead Okay, now we go with him All right, so I'm gonna move to here I'm a punch forward again

And I'm an intern So now Big Dick Lawrence is tanking him. See, he can't do anything. Okay. I think I've got a big dick on him. I think I do. Yeah, I do.

Yeah. I'm exerting. I'm exerting. I'm exerting. I'm moving forward. I'm meleeing. I'm double melee. And now he goes to sleep.

Because this thing's not going to do any damage. Okay? And then I get, I go right here. I go to move. Wait, can I hit two mobs with this? Wait, so if I, move to here can I double dick these guys I can't is it worth hitting Lawrence with this this is a sacrifice I have to make nice wait I'm gonna do it

again damn see it matter okay so now I move and then I sunbarred yeah wait I could set up a trap right wait can I do this wait I could set up a trap it shouldn't matter because you know he dies right because it takes Am I good? Am I actually good at this game? Wait a minute. Okay, so this is... Charming an enemy.

Okay, it takes extra turn immediately. Sparned brambles on any tile. Oh, that's insane. Because if we get a boss stuck in a wall, we can kill him like that. Okay, let's go. Um... I have six points.

I'm gonna survive. Big dick. Big dick. I got a sleepy... Wait, a bear. Wait. Why would I want to be friends of the bear? What's in the box?

Mystical Blindfold? The fuck is that? Your physical attacks and abilities always miss? No. No. No. It's a mage item? I don't really have a mage, though.

Like, I mean, because even this one, it says magic. Right? Because it's like, I'm pretty sure that's magic. So, no, I can't do that. That's manac clause. have really a healer. Okay, so let's go down here. Rare candy.

Okay, I didn't read it. I couldn't read that. Okay, one cat will level up immediately. Boxing charm. Start with plus one bonus attack. Oh, fuck. I didn't even mean to buy that. Um, I,

Rare a Cando? Should I get this? Um, always? Okay. All right, I did it. Many is now level three. Okay.

So your basic attack has plus one area. Your familiars and units you charm gain movement. Poison and bleed. Tower defense. This is a hard one, guys. I feel like the best option. I guess, yeah, we'll go with that. I actually think I should have got that familiar.

If you want me to be honest, I think I should have got familiar. But that's okay. All right, let's go here. Who's this stupid dick sucker? Radical rat. Oh my God. That's a big boy. Okay.

All right, give me a minute. Okay, I'm gonna need, I'm gonna need Mamini. I needed Mamini. Moving. I can't do anything else. Okay, let's go on my intern. Oh, he's running away. Okay, uh, I'm gonna move and I'm gonna go and do this and down my intern and then we're gonna move to right here and I'm gonna move to here

So we gotta get fat boy over here okay now I shoot him with the gun big dick attack to disarm Okay, all right um let me go turtle Oh my god, I think I'm dead. I think I'm gonna lose. Okay, so I'm gonna move in. I'm moving in. It doesn't matter. I'm a fire blast on them. All right, I'm a magic dart. I'm gonna use this. I'm gonna use the disco thing. I'm using it. And now I'm gonna hit him with another one. Big dick. I'm gonna get the burn stacked up on them. So I shouldn't move out of the range of the bombs. I have to move out of range of the bombs. just attacked the bomb. Can I undo? Can I undo? Like I... Cock sucker motherfucker. God damn it. I have to do this. I have to. Alright, let me go to here. I didn't know that would happen. Damn, we got the green boy just killing him. Oh my god. Okay. And how am I getting with this?

Big dick. Turto? What am I doing now? Move? Go ahead. We're gonna go all the way in. We go all the way in right now. A dart, let's dart on them. I'm gonna fire last on them. Big dick, seven damage. And now I'm gonna do, uh, I'm gonna do, uh, I'm gonna do, uh, I'm gonna do it.

Damn. Okay, so now I need to move. Wait, can I just... I bet if I run through the fire, I take damage. I'm gonna get them out of the way. And I guess I'm gonna spawn another boy. Right here. Okay, I'll go over here.

No, it's alright. I know what to do. In the turn. I big dick on him right now. I big dick on him right now. Boom, bitch. A couple of flints of bread, stuff a rat in the middle. Do not too finicky, I'll make a freak a sea. The tactical war war.

I see that. Y'all see that? Like, I knew exactly what to do. Okay, when you take damage, you gain two feet. Okay, uh, let's get, let's get natural healing. Okay. That's actually huge for me.

Okay, so what did I just get? Start with plus one bonus attack. Okay, well, we're gonna go and get. that to my mind and then we're gonna give a bomb okay we're gonna give uh jack the bomb okay and can i go through the door i can't can i oh i got to go home so what did i do now we sure showed them called the The legend of the claw just makes me want to spray on stuff. You can now go to the sewers. The sewers?

Can I throw the cats back in the house? Okay. So now I, all right, all right. So now I end the day. I end the day? Damn, bro, like. Oh. Oh.

Wait. They just fucking this shit out of each other. Wait. They can fight? Okay Oh, it's raining again Rain's a spooky one I think rain because did bad things

The rain man sees what we be doing And he tells on us Huff up We break and live under your house I bet you hear it's scratching It gets itchy down there sometimes Sometimes we like being itchy Because itchy makes us work harder

Bet you didn't know Frank builded your Who's this crazy homeless retard piece of shit Get the fuck out of my game We're just kidding on you Fuck you, bitch. Get out of here. Frank do need to get paid. Cat friends.

Wait, what? See the pipe over there. The pipe goes all over the places. You want to send a kitty down. Wait, I can kill a cat. Frank wants retired cats only. Should I? So if they've been in there, they're retired, right?

Like, so I should throw her and get rid of her, right? Is it town? Crown equals retire. Do I do it? Can I catch her? What do you guys think? Honestly, the fact that I missed that and she didn't go down the tunnel, I feel like Minnie is the one. Oh, no, no, Minnie's really good. Yog Meow Ron. Okay, let's get rid of... All right, let's get rid of Lawrence.

Try the weather. A questionable way to start any day. Okay. This next one's called sad cat lady, and it's a terrible title for the song, which is otherwise very happy. All right, Lawrence is going down there. Wait, I can get rid of Lawrence without receiving any favor or rewards. I gave Frank a cat.

Frank lives in the sewer. All right, Frank was just waiting. few down here. Good job sitting in the cats down. He's slow so when he runs. Frank's slow, but no one seems to get us. Frank's getting itchy, ready to build? You know that house on top of your house. Someone with the point on it? Well, Frank's going to be building all over. You just wait and see. Okay, another tip. I hear mom say about Frank, Frank. Frank Skabies. We miss her? What the fuck does that even mean? Okay. Butch. Who the fuck is this? So check this out. I got a new collar for you. This class is called the cleric.

This is a pretty hoity-toity religious type. Judgmental, sure, but boy, can they heal things. When a solid cleric is on your team, ain't no one going down. And if someone does, just pray on it. Okay. So what we can only have clerics, the thing is that clerics can only be female cats. Okay.

And this is the baby cat. All right. We're done. Wait, nothing happened. I didn't spawn a new cat. Jeeves. Okay, uh, now let's do it again. No, no.

Wait. Damn, bro. Just fucking kill this ass. Oh, Jack won. No, it's okay. I like Jack. Sean is dead. Fuck Sean. Sean sucks. Okay. Do we have enough for a team yet?

I think we do We do We have enough for a team Wait What is this Wait there's an exclamation point Tank's trailer Aren't they a catch

And yeah All right thanks girl Did you hear about the newbie in town It's been hoarding all the cats They're like yeah I heard about that Hear about the book deal Leave me alone stalker Wow

Glash people today are so nosy right Anyway what about you and me being Pipe Buddies Wait I'm getting to be pipe buddies With this gay boy You old purve, my wife made me cover the pipe with quilt. She was so embarrassed. But listen, I need a babe.

I have this empty hole in my heart. My wife and I, we can't have children of our own. So we decided to start a cat family and guess who the father is? It's you. Just send me your kittens and I can find a way to return to favor. But don't send me any uggos. Keep your donkey-faced fuggos in the basement. Toodles.

Okay. So it looks like the sewer monster, your pipebo? Okay, I don't know this special. gives me an idea how much you and I go into business together. You send me cats with combat experience. I give you the kiss. I let you kiss me behind the dump stir over. What do you mean?

No. What the fuck? Expand the little box of yours. Okay. Talking about the box behind it, uh, buy your house sicko. Okay. I can upgrade the shoe box for you.

That way you can hold more sharp objects. Just send me a cat who's killed some stuff. I'll hook you up. Okay. Can I even say that on the radio? Wait, what was that? I'm gonna get rid of mini. Wait, actually, let's get rid of Jack.

Let's get rid of him. And I'm going to throw, I'm going to... Okay, and I'm going to give him the cat. I'm going to get Butch the cat. The cat really used a punch, thanks. Agreement, I upgrade the storage box of yours. A bigger one, so, okay, send me more cats with fighting experience. I want the cats that venture further from home.

You're going to need to venture into sewers and the junkyard. Okay. All right, that's good. Okay, now I'm ready to go again. Let's see. Okay, Sardoon, Juvs, Finino, and Slippy. Okay, these guys kind of, what about Seen? Actually, I'm not gonna worry about him. Let's go with this.

Okay, so what's this guy? A dart? A Malay? Okay, this guy kind of sucks. This guy kind of sucks, guys. I think we're going to make him to healer. Steel manna. Malay? Okay. So we're going to give him the melee. And then Slippy,

random debuff from yourself. Okay, let's go with... I'm going to make him to hunt hard. And then Finino... is going to be... Finino. I'm going to make... Benino de Mage.

And then we're going to do this guy and we're going to give him I guess cleric. Let's lock in. No, no healer. No healer. Okay, so I don't know who we want to give this to yet.

I think we're going to start oh, I should have given him to tank. I should have made him tank. Fuck. Okay, I'm thinking about this. Okay, I'm going to give him that. and oh I'm gonna take it away I'm gonna give him that and then I'm gonna give him

okay bonus attack this is this is my big damage character and I'm gonna give him who has the most light bulbs this one does I'm gonna give him the light bulbs backstabs healing I'm gonna give him the backstab

let's lock in okay all right let's see if I can do this Playing bad on purpose. What do you mean? No, I'm not. What are you talking about? Like, watch. Okay, uh, let's see here. Oh, I can't counter.

Fuck, bro, like I should have, oh my god. Okay, heals enemies, but damages, damages enemies. Okay, well that, that's good. Mealy attack and heel. Okay, um, let's go to like right here. Okay, I'm gonna go to here. It only does two damage. Fuck, wait.

I think this is really... Oh my God, I'm dying. Okay, just a minute. Okay, I'm gonna go to here. Dude, I can't hit anybody. Okay. That was actually pretty good. Okay.

And I can go to here, and I'm gonna move to like right here. And then I'm gonna go and get... I'm gonna get his ass right now. So he's dead. And... Okay, I'm an ending turn. Dude, I need to get this cat back. I'm gonna go to here.

And then I'm gonna counterattack all attacks. Max counterattacking. And then I'm gonna kill this guy. And then I'm literally just gonna make this bitch run away. And then I'm gonna heal myself. Wait, I can't heal myself? What the fuck? Why not? I thought I'd be able to.

Shit! Okay. I'm gonna move. Watch this. Watch this. I'm gonna drop the big dick on him right here. Watch this. I'm actually good at this game.

Let me kill this guy. Move over to here. My God. It missed every shot. Damn. Bro, the red cat is crazy. Okay, so a Malay attack that instantly kills frozen units.

Okay, I don't care about that. Teleport to a random tile. Wait, is this A-O-E? Does this make my... attack a oe oh that's insane like I all right we'll do the bolt though teleport sounds amazing it doesn't it's bad okay uh let's do it pull up the knife nice okay it doesn't matter all right next okay what the there's water what the fuck I'm gonna hold them all off right now watch why do I borrow the mana

I counter. I kill. Now I heal. I'm gonna move. Right here. Malay heel. Big Dick. Okay.

Never mind. No, no one. Water? I can't. I'm gonna just get them right here. I'm gonna get them. I'm not. I'm not.

Okay. All right. I got to think. We're gonna move. Moved Drake right here. Okay, and then I go, and I do the lobbying shot. And I'm gonna kill this guy. I'm gonna kill him.

Okay. All right, ending. Fuck you. Wait, what do you mean? Slippy only has seven health. I'm countering, and I kill. I kill. Okay, good.

Ending turn. Okay, heal, heal Slippy. Wait, move. Okay, I'm healing now. And I can't dart. Damn! Yo, that fucked them up. That fucked him up like crazy.

Oh, because it's in the water. I get it. Bitch. Okay. Wait, what? Try to hit him here. Bro, Slippy does crazy damage. This is actually really good.

Okay. In an X shape. Destroy a body? What the fuck does that mean? revive an adjacent body um I think let's go with CPR okay let's go

what's in the box a feather necklace what the hell is this oh a dodge chance oh that's really good we're gonna give this to uh yeah let's give him 15% no no I don't want to have him dodge okay I'm gonna give him dodge and then a Malaya

use a Malay attack with 10% chance to stun Okay, well then let's go and give that to him. Big Dick. Because that's his, he's, he's the main Malayer. Sardoed, pursed, four, four, and leave. I'm gonna leave. Yeah, because four is too low.

Okay, let's try it. I'm gonna steal mana. I'm gonna counter. And I'm gonna wait, in turn. Hit me, see what happens. I thought I had a fucking counterattack I thought I fucking had a counterattack Just fuck me, right?

I'm gonna hit him with this Big damage, huge damage, crazy damage I can't do anything Okay, I'm gonna move to here Lobbying shot Please hit my... He blocked What the hell?

Go to here And I'm gonna get her right here, dart What the fuck? I move in on his ass I'm a counterattack I'm gonna hit him with one What What the fuck

Can I bolt him? No, I hit my guy I can end up with this Okay, it took five damage That's good I can him again Okay, that's pretty good And then now

Scattershot No, it'll hit my own guys, I can't Blocked again And I'm in a I'm a popsicle again I'm gonna go to here. I'm gonna melee attack. I'm going to...

I'm gonna dart. I can't. This is so fucking annoying. I can't fucking do anything. This piece of shit. I've got to move away from him. Oh no, I walked through a spike. That's what it was.

Okay. But I thought it would... It's okay. I can't. can't. I think that's better. It's not. Okay, I'm not using that. Ending turn. Okay. I'm going to heal again. I guess I'm going to put a shield on her, right? I might as well. And I'm going to move in now so I can absorb an attack with my shield on. I shouldn't have done that because now I can't move my other guy over there. Move to here. It's fine. I can take the damage. It's not with you. Big Dick.

borrowing Manna from this guy I'm gonna counterattack now ending turn oh he's taking big damage now okay I'm gonna knock him back

shit he's in an ice cube again I'm gonna move I'm moving back I'm getting fucked man there see see see here see I get him right here fucking piece of shit

it's just water shit keeps fucking me man. This is so bad. Actually is actually so bad. I gotta move. It's just it's so bad. Okay. Malay again. Counter. Pipe. Use. Damn, 10 damage. Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, I might win here. He's dead. Yes. Okay. That's what I'm talking about, guys. Okay, Jeeves is level two. Wow.

Born again. I think I'm going to give this to him. The cat food. I'm going to go to hard mode. Wait, why is it not let me go to hard mode? They think I'm not ready for it? Attack. Pouty displays your trophies that are cats.

Okay, good. All right, give me down. I'll pull it back over. All right, we're good. You should beat that boss. I'd beat the fuck out of them. Okay. Okay.

I'm gonna go and immediately kill. I'm gonna kill right now. I have to kill. I'm gonna move and I'm going to steal. Yes. And now I'm going to counter and I end. Watch. Watch what happens. Death. Watch what happens. Death. Watch what happens. What? We gotta go. We gotta go to here. I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I'm gonna use Born again. No, I plan this out. I plan it out. I'm just gonna leave one guy alive, that's it. I'm gonna move to here. I'm gonna hit this guy. I'm gonna move him back.

This is good. I wanted this to happen. Now I have to survive. Oh, I didn't know he was alive. Okay? I shouldn't have done that. That was a mistake. That was a mistake.

I didn't know I... It's all right. I'm gonna wait. I have to just wait. I have to wait. to get more mana. I could debuff yourself. I didn't mean to do that.

And now I can born again. See, I told you guys I had a plan. I told everybody I had a plan. See? Like now I have the... Wait, he's got three health. Wait, what? I mean he's got three health.

I'm gonna end my turn. And I'm gonna end this turn. I'm gonna end this turn. Wait, wait, wake up. Wait, oh my cat's asleep. Fuck, I didn't realize that. I didn't know what was going to. I didn't know what was going on.

Just kill the guy. I was trying to bait it out. Okay, this is huge. Jump up to two tiles. Damage, gnaw back, and... Okay. I'm going to do a meteor slam. Okay.

Armour, let's give him the armor. And then revive an adjacent unit. Okay, well, we're not going to use that yet. Okay. We're going to eat. Eat. Eat. A catnip bag

That's good, right? I think that's good. It has to be good. Okay, next. What's in the box? Meat hook. What's this? Pull a unit towards you.

What the fuck? Okay. I'm going to give it to her. Okay, let's go here. Looking to buy something. Paper shoulder pads. Should I get the candy or the shoulder pads? Always candy.

Everybody says just get candy. Okay. I'm gonna get critical strikes. Okay. Exit. Okay. Okay, let's go. Move.

I'm gonna get right in front of him. Stealing mana. Counters. All right. Ending. Okay, he died. Okay. I got to move to here.

I want to heal. Ending. Move to like right here. I'm gonna move in Relo Are you kidding me? What the fuck is happening to me? Nice, okay three, all right Fuck, I can't even get to him

Okay ending turn This guy is so fucking annoying man Oh now he's 16 damage Miss What do you mean miss? Okay Um, let's find my intern.

Miss again. What the fuck is happening to me? Me, heal. And I'm going to use zealot. Okay, good. In turn. Okay. All right, I got it.

Okay, Fijindo. My move over to here. Magic dart. Okay, good. And I'm going to Lightning him again. Okay, good. Intern. He's stunned. Dwight deep dick him?

Yes! Yes! It doesn't matter. It literally doesn't matter. Why does he keep running away from me? I can't even do anything. Fuck you! Okay, I've got to heal this one. Okay, I'm an intern. Move to here?

Okay, that's good. Right, in turn. I'm at six health, man. It's just like, if I hit him with this, I win the match. I'm gonna lobbying shock. Christ, man. This is so bad. I'm gonna, I'm gonna food.

I'm gonna food now. I'll move over to here. Dude, I'm getting fucking, I'm getting kited around. This is insane. It's only got 15 fucking health, and it's... I just... I'm gonna use that again. Okay. Get to here.

I'm gonna surf on them right now. It's a little bit more damage, right? That's good. Okay, that's perfect. And now I can deep dick them, right? Oh my God. It's the only thing I can't. hit. Fuck it.

Fuck it. If you're not too finicky, I'll make a friccacy. Die bitch. Die bitch. Again, again. Liberal god. I'm actually good at this game. Okay, um, when a unit damages you, this is fucking disgusting.

Okay, let's go to the sewers. It's time. What I gotta do now. now. Where'd him hosy. Damn, what the fuck? I'm gonna get him up in front. I'm gonna steal this manna. I'm gonna counterattack. Oh bro, it's over. I'm gonna kill this shit too. Do it. See what happens? See that? Bro, like they can't get me. I'm gonna get to here. I'm gonna heal. I'm my intern. I'm gonna drop. I'm gonna drop a big dick bomb on him right here. Watch.

Get him out of here! Wait, can I, can I, can I lightning ball them? Oh, I can't. That's a lot of cock suckers over there. That's a lot of cock suckers. You see him? Let's kill, uh, let's kill this guy. 24 damage.

That's a lot of cocksuckers, man. God damn, that's a lot of cocksuckers. Okay. I have to counterattack. And then I'm going to... I guess I'm gonna kill. Let me kill. And then I'm going to...

I don't think I should pipe right now. I'm not gonna pipe. And then I'm gonna melee... I'm gonna heal. And then I'm going to zeal it. And then I'm gonna move to right here. That way if it hits me, I can just... It doesn't matter.

Okay. The bleed debuff? Like an LBRS? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna kill this guy. Wait, I can't? Oh, fuck.

Wait, doesn't matter. Okay. Okay. And then I'm gonna lightening him? Damn, that did a lot. Wait, I can do it again? I'm gonna do it again. Damn, that does so much damage.

Okay. And now I can do this. Okay. Man. Basic attack feels two magic damage and splash damage. Okay, yeah, let's do splash damage. That was easy. Flash flood kinds more and more. The terrain is cats runs to high ground. Okay. Let's go again. Easy.

Damn, look at these fucking retards. Okay, let's go to here. I'm gonna steal mana again. I'm gonna counterattack right now. And now I'm gonna wait. They can't do shit. These fat pieces of shit. Watch, watch, watch what happens. Watch what happens. What? What? I don't understand. How could this happen to me?

I want to bolt... Wait, I can't? I didn't know it would do all of the water. I thought it would just do part of the water. Okay. All right, all right, we reload? That's not so bad. I just didn't know that.

Okay, um... I'm gonna move to like right... Never mind. Wait, I did move. 21. Holy shit. Water kitten. What the fuck is a water kitten?

I wanna go to here? I'm gonna kill. Okay? I have to move to here. Now I do a heel. Oh no, it can block heels. Oh my god, bro. Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?

Okay, so... All right. I think that... I think that I think I'm gonna hit him with this. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I wanted that to happen. Wait, oh no. Oh, I didn't know he was in the water too. It's over. It's over. Yeah, I'm dead.

I'm dead. It's over. It's over. I'm dead. Just kill me. Just fucking kill me. Fucking kill me. Piece of fucking shit. God damn it, man. I have to. I have to. I have to. I don't want to, but I have to. I have to lay down the god of thunder. I don't know why. It is the way it is.

I really don't. I don't understand this. Like, I'm actually getting fucked right now. Okay, I've got to heal this guy. Born again. Thank God. Okay, something's dead. Holy shit.

Finally. Wait, oh, they do AOEs. I'm gonna intern. Dude, I'm taking so much damage. This is insane. I'm gonna see, uh, I'm gonna CD3 PR. Okay, good. He's back up. Okay. Everybody's alive.

That was really, really bad, but I don't think anything bad is going to happen again. Yeah, I'm not worried about it. Okay, let's get Shield. Yeah, I'm not worried about it. What's in the shitter? A scary baby? That's what happens. Okay, six corpsal, basic attack spawns tall grass. Okay.

Um, I don't think any of these are good I'm gonna be honest, I don't think any of these are good at all I'm not gonna use them Okay, oh my god The sandstorm grows until it envelopes the entire area Okay, let's go Magic Pussies versus the Fleshmaster What the fuck is this?

Okay, I'm gonna just intern And I'm gonna melee heel Okay, I'm gonna move Oh, I should actually heal the other one. I'm gonna heal this guy right now. It's okay. I'm gonna move to like right here. And now...

What happens if I hit these things? Nothing. Okay, I just wasted my mana. All right? I'm gonna move to like right here. And I'm in a lobbying shot? This one. Okay, it didn't do anything.

All right, I'm out of turns. What the fuck? What the fuck? I... Everybody. he's dying. There's no way, right? Okay, five damage. Okay, all right. No, no, we're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. We're good. Okay. And I'm going to dart him. All right. That's it. That's all I can do. Scattering shot. Okay. useless.

Seven damage. Wait. Why did my guy just kill? Guys. Guys, I, um, I, uh, I mean, I just, 30 damage? Why, I just hit him for 30 damage. Man. Okay, uh, let me move again. A scattering shot. Okay, lobbying shot.

It's totally over? No, it's not. I killed him. Wait, I actually killed him. He's dead. Oh my god. Wait, he's actually dead. Stat up, plus two in full heel.

Okay. plus two dexterity. This is huge for me. Okay, I'm going to get a rare candy. And now Sardono is... I'm going to get Malaise. And now he's full healed. Wait, am I actually gonna...

Am I going to survive? Slippy got a never stone. Wait a minute. So can I now use... use, revive an adjacent ally at 1% HP. Wait, why is baguette at level zero? I guess I can just, I can use this, right? It shouldn't be a big deal.

Okay. He's dead? No, no, he's not dead. Why would he be dead? There's no way he's dead. I'm not come out of head. Okay. See, wait, no, it's alive. See, baguettes alive.

Look, it's right there. I'm fine. Okay. Okay. That's a different cat. No, it's not. That's my cat. Okay, let's go here. And then I'm going to steal mana from Baguette. And then I'm going to counter. Okay, here we go. Okay, massive big dick damage.

Wait. Wait, what? Huh? What, what the fuck? Now it can only shoot this bullshit. Finino's got no health. I feel like it's better to just bolt the... I'm gonna just bolt the ground, man. It's worth it. It's worth it.

I think it's worth it. Relo-loado? Okay, that's good. No, I think it's worth it. I'm gonna kill him. Nice. Okay. Move to here.

I'm gonna intern. Why does everything always take weight? Move when we move to here. I'm gonna counterattack. And I'm going to. to malay this guy and I'm gonna oh I'm gonna double Malay in turn that was a huge mistake I fucked up big time okay I'm gonna have to do this I have to do this see wait he's back I won I fucking won okay all right no no I'm good

heal an adjacent ally wait I think I should spin my no no no Do lick? Okay, good. No, we're actually in a very good spot now. We're in an extremely good spot. Okay. Rose-alting? Chill out. Okay. Okay, I'm gonna give this to him.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait. This is the second boss. I have to be focused for this. Boor ass. Okay, let's go. This is in turn. I got to heal.

Shit, I can't. Okay. I got a move. Big dick. Big dick damage. Five damage. Five damage again. Hit him.

Hit him. Hit him. He's so fat. Um, uh, I, um, scattering shot? Big dick on him. Triple dick. All I have to do is keep him alive.

Okay, I understand the assignment. All I have to do is keep him. K-LIF. Guys. Guys, let's be honest. The cats at your house awaited the return of the magic pussies, but they didn't...

Okay. That's great. That's great. I'm done. Well, game's fucking rigged. It's fucking rigged. I... I lost... All my cats are dead.

Every... Every cat is dead. I'm out of cats. Motherfucker. Piece of shit. It's a good game. It's a good game. It is. It's a good game.

I gotta admit, it's a good game. I think this is better than I thought it was going to be. It is. It's a fun game. I might play more of it tomorrow. He likes it? I know. I know.

It's good. I've never played a game like this before in my life. I've never, never in my life. Never went into it. Never got a fan. I never never played anything even remotely close to this. So I want to say, yeah, I played it longer and I was planning on. I didn't plan on playing it this long, but that's okay.

We do what we need to do. Thank you gentlemen so much for watching. I really appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, boys.