Asmongold TV - The best Doom: The Dark Ages review | Asmongold TV

Episode Date: September 5, 2025

The best Doom: The Dark Ages review Asmongold show for all of his stream highlights, competitions, reactions & more. ------------------- ------- Keywords: streaming moments, asmongold, video game analysis, pc gaming, streamer podcast, gaming opinions Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is about the new Doom game? People want me to watch this? My wife's boyfriend just bought me Doom Dark Ages. Warning if you don't want to be spoiled. Doom the Dark Ages is taking inspiration from the original Doom games because as we all know, Doom peaked with H Doom on the T-83 calculator. Right off the bat if you want to know if Doom the Dark... I had that. ...ages is worth buying.

I'm gonna say this. A lot of people judge their buying decisions on a dollar per hour. hour of fun basis and if you get this game for free it lives up to those expectations so in my situation oh fuck that's bad and it's just starting having received this for free from my wife's boyfriend I must say I think this game is fantastic doom 2016 was running gun do maternal was smoke cracked and shoot back do the dark ages is Perry and turn my headphones up real loud so I can't hear my wife and her boyfriend wrestling in the other room.

Wow. Some franchises never know when to change. New Doom doesn't know when to stop changing. At this rate, Doom 4 is gonna play like Just Dance. The Doom Slayer's gonna be popping that ass on the dance floor to Tay Taye. Then removing 90% of the glory kills

and replacing them with bumper cars is great because I love playing bumper cars with my wife's boyfriend. I like that they tone down the Berserk mode to a slightly impolite mode. This is way better. Here's the old toxically masculine mode. And here's the new bass mode.

You like it. I like all your mom, you's good boy. Are you mommy's good boy? Yeah, the soundtrack. Is that what I think it is in the background? I think it is. Wow. I didn't realize how much of a downgrade this was.

I had no idea because I had never played Eternal or 2016. But like, because Eternal in 2016 were so well received, I was super excited. And to be fair, like the trailer for Doom the Dark ages was incredible. I love the trailer. I thought the trailer was awesome. And so I got super excited for it. But playing the game, I was just kind of like, I don't know. Like it just, it just didn't hit another avowed situation for you. No, it's different because like avowed. I played and beat avowed off stream because I thought it was interesting enough to continue playing. Yesterday,

I uninstalled Doom because there was some update for no rest for the wicked that I wanted to play. I just uninstall it. It's a little weird in the new game, but we'll get to that later. I'm glad they're making this game less masculine because after playing Doom Eternal, my wife's boyfriend started getting scared to me. After all those glory kills, all those chainsaw kills, a berserk mode where you fucking punch of demons like a

whole hell is wheelchair accessible bitch. God, I'm getting chubbed up just thinking about it. I'm like telling him that I'm banging my wife tonight. But Doom the Dog Day is so much better because it gets me back to being that sensitive guy. Let's not rip and tear until the job is done. Let's rip and tear into a Ben and Jerry's and talk about our feelings. Hopefully they add in a Femboy Doomslayer skin later this year.

Doom 2016 made you feel thing. The worst thing about that? Well, I think that we all know the worst thing about that. It made you feel powerful and strong and manly. This game makes me feel like I should play that game again. In Doom, the Dark Ages. We are back as Lizzo. I mean, Doom Dark Ages is out. All jokes aside, in today's Quadruple-A gaming market,

even their worst game is better than most of the schlock that comes out today. The mecks, the dragon's baby-burning beams of hellfire down a monster's throat. It's just pure awesome shit in comparison to the last AAA game I played, where a very different monster was going down Yoske's throat. And that's the last I'll talk about AC Shadows. No, it's not. Now, seeing as the mecs have no glory kills, you're more getting excited on the I.

of mechs rather than the execution, kind of like getting energized on the idea of cocaine rather than actually snorting it. But that's the last- That's exactly the way that I felt. That's the best way to say it, is that it sounds so cool that you're going to get into a mech. But when you're actually in the Mac, it's literally just you hitting the same punch button over and over. And pressing Space Bar when their weapon turns green. It's just like nothing.

This time I'll talk about glory kills, I promise. The neck is fine. The problem is the dragon. I watched somebody play the dragon. And it was so bad. It was so bad. It was, yeah. The dragon was ass.

Comment in this game is great until you go to do a glory kill. And if you're a little retired in the head, don't worry because this is way easier than the last game. The learning curve in Eternal was a learning cliff. You either got it or you got motion sickness. I remember my papaw walked by me playing a. And he said, oh, you're playing Doom? I remember playing Doom back in 1999.

Oh, and he died! Just looking at three frames of gameplay from Eternal, and he couldn't take it. Jokes on his dumb ass, though, in the Dark Ages, I'm doing everything he was doing in the senior home. Just playing Frisbee and Pickleball while grabbing ass and being slightly racist. And every time I worry that my T-levels are getting too high, Doom guy throws his Doom cheeks on the enemies instead of doing a really awesome takedown. And it drops my T-level right back into Tesla owner ranges. Like those times when you're fighting this guy and you hit him with that shotgun, shotgun,

slap his ass off the mouth, freeze him with the shield. Here comes the big finish. Bumpacaws. You see what I mean, though? It felt really clean right up until I hit that glory hole in the combat where the glory kill used to be. And before you say it. I didn't realize how much more like savage the old game was. Dude, I had no idea

Holy fuck man This is crazy Yeah, this is even close He didn't play it I was playing wow Used to be And before you say Eh fleek but the glory kills are still in the game

You get to see this shit one weekend a month With supervised visitation I see these takedowns just often enough To resent their creator for taking the other 40 variants out of the game How the hell do you put mex in a modern Doom game and then not give them takedowns. I'm out here like a big ass cholola hump in their leg. They remove the X factor of this game and for what?

So I could go play Ultimate Frisbee? I'm throwing my pre-Ozimic doom cheeks on the enemies. And the only time I get a glimpse at a takedown is if I can get my whopper slaying ass high enough off the ground to do one takedown they let me keep. Whoever decided. It's just to me like I feel like this game, it's like I always like I compare it a lot with Space Marine too.

I do. Because I feel like both those games are trying to be Xbox 360 games in the year 2025 or 2024. And this is very clearly trying to be an old school game in a new world. And it's like there's a certain type of like aura. What the fuck does that even mean? So what it means is like aggressive, high stakes, really fast-paced combat that's narrow. without a lot of storytelling, but it's good gameplay and it's just good combat.

That's basically it, right? I mean, if you were there, you'd understand it. Masculine. Also, it's masculine, too. Like in, you know, for example, Space Marine 2, there were a lot of times where it was like, yeah, the guys didn't agree with each other, but they're like, okay, well, you're in charge, and so we're just going to do what you say

because of, you know, like honor and tradition. And I feel like there is a certain element of that that you get whenever you make games like that like Kingdom Come Deliverance 2 is a good example of this as well and like there are many games that are like this but it's like this one just kind of it felt like it was trying to have aura but it just didn't really get there

am I crazy to make the game flow better by replacing the iconic glory kills with like clunkier slower unsatisfying and unresponsive alternative is a genius this reminds me of when I took the wheels off my car to make a go faster. Now for all the people saying this game is slow, a lot of people are going to recommend that you turn this up to 150% in the game slider settings.

But I just don't think that's enough. So what I did was speed hack the game to go at four times the max big. Oh, finally! What a world? That's great. And for my fellow 70-year-old AARP card holders in the audience, if you were annoyed by the constant weapon switching in the last game, You don't got to worry about that any longer. Because in this game, you only need one gun.

The best gun in this game is the shield. And the best shield in this game is the super shotgun. You use the shield like a lawnmower to clear out all the pretend enemies. Then you use the shotgun to shit on the real enemies harder than Johnny Depp's ex-wife shot on the bed. Just bam! I remember that. That's three big bams. Now you got to get new sheets.

Even when they gave me the BFC, I said, oh, thanks. That's really neat. But I'm already the big fucking possible. Damn. Hang on a second. I think my T-levels are getting too high. Let me watch a take down. One for guys.

Wait, so that was what the old Doom was, that clip from before? Holy shit. There we go. No, honey. Oh, and then also the music didn't even work. I hope you and Fabio have a great night out. Use my credit card. If I had to rank the shield on my official lawnmower tier list, I'd rank it at S-tier.

It's pretty good. Maybe even Mega Milk Tier. Story. Remove all the dialogue. No, I'm telling you, I want only scenes of Doom Guy. You know what? I actually think that's a good idea. Yeah, just take out every single word of dialogue.

Because remember they did that for, who was it in Lost Ark? It started with a T. Not Thay Dan. He was one of the prime, like, evil guys. What was this? Tha mine, yes. Tha mine, this guy, aura farmed so fucking hard. Literally no dialogue at all and everybody knew who he was

Arming like dirty fucking hairy I want to make this a silent film In fact they make doom guys say one word That's one word too many music all I have to say is this Now if I had to rate this game on a buy wait for a sale or it's okay basis I would say this is the type of game you get for free and go hey you know for the money it's not that bad I had a truly incandescent time playing this game One out of ten. Fuck you, you remove glory kills.

Jesus. Thanks to the flock of pimps for bankroll in this video and another huge thanks to all the pimperers for buying me all this demon slaying lead. Flika! They fired the original music guy? Why the fuck did they... Like, because I was really curious to see what this was going to be about.

Because I didn't know. Like, I was like, is he going to like the game or not? But he felt the exact same way that I'm. did he was two based Mick Gordon why did Mick Gordon get get fired from Doom

let me search this I'll link you guys a video like these fleek videos are fucking amazing by the way I love these fucking videos they're so funny