Aspire with Emma Grede - It’s Time to Start With Yourself

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

Emma’s debut book, Start With Yourself, is out today. This is the episode she’s been building toward since the very beginning of Aspire.  She’s doing something she’s never done on this podcast before. She’s taking on your questions about what’s at the heart of the book, including:  The core ideas behind her framework for work and life Why this isn’t just a book for someone wanting to start a business  What she’d say to the woman who’s been putting herself last for too long The uncomfortable truths she had to face about her own thinking before she could put them on paper for anyone else Then she reads from the book for the first time anywhere, about a moment that completely changed her mindset and became the reason she had to write it. If you’ve felt stuck or scared to go after the next thing, Start With Yourself is for you. It’s available here. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited to share my debut book with you or Start With Yourself, which is available now. You might have seen the headlines, you might have seen the social, but this book is exactly what I intended, a conversation that will make you think, and it's a blueprint for anyone who wants success without the toxic positivity. Start with yourself is about self-leadership, because wherever I go, women ask me how I got to where I am. But what you really want to know is how you can get there. So I'm doing what I do best, sharing and navigate keeping what's works for me in the hope that you can borrow from a philosophy that has served me so well. The truth is I'm not an expert. I've just lived it. I've made the mistakes. I've had the

failures and I've learned what actually works. It takes a lot. It takes the most. And this book is for anyone who's tired of feeling like a passenger in their own life. It's about taking responsibility for your thinking, managing your emotions and getting clear on your ideas and then knowing your next step. It's about picking yourself up after failure, being accountable, but also forgiving yourself, pushing for wins and never, ever apologising for your ambition. It's also about challenging the rules that you've been told. There is no perfect time. Balance isn't the goal. Alignment is and there's nothing wrong with you wanting more. I'm precisely sure that the reason I've been so successful is so I can share it with you. Start with yourself. My debut book is available now.

Visit emmagreed.com to purchase the book, also available on Amazon, your favorite audio platforms, and all good bookshops. Okay, so today is book launch day. My debut book, Start With Yourself, is finally out, and I am relieved and anxious and nervous and thankful and hopeful that you will buy it and that it will light up something inside of you. A wave of skincare products featuring the ingredient Blue Tansy has taken over the clean beauty space. And for good reason, known for its naturally vibrant blue hue, Blue Tansy helps minimise inflation, calm irritation and support stressed sensitive skin. Primally Pure harnesses the power of this calming botanical across its soothing collection, formulated with real biocompatible ingredients that work in harmony with the body, not against it. When skin or the nervous system feels overwhelmed, this collection is designed to help simplify

and restore balance. Blue Tansi is a potent antioxidant that helps visibly reduce redness, discoloration and dryness, making it especially beneficial for skin prone to irritation or inflammation. The ingredient's soothing properties make it a standout for sensitive skin that reacts quickly. The collection spans both face and body, creating a cohesive head-to-to-to-co, calming ritual. It includes Primally Pure's cult-favorite Blue Tansy Deodrent, along with the soothing serum, body oil and more, each designed to support calm, resilient skin. For those seeking a soothing, therapeutic complement to a richer winter skincare routine, Primally Pure's Blue Tansy products offer a gentle yet effective solution rooted in clean, intentional formulation. Use code

Aspire to get 15% off your primarily pure purchase. That's www. p-R-I-M-A-L-L-Y-P-U-R-A-R-A-D-com and use Code Aspire at checkout for 15% off your order. This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the All-In-One Finance app where you can bank, borrow and invest. Let's be real, most bank accounts are doing almost nothing for you. But with So-Fi Bank, money could actually grow. You could earn over eight times the national average savings rate with a SO-Fi high-yield checking and savings account, and it gets better. So-Fi is offering up to a $400 welcome bonus when you sign up with eligible direct deposit. Got credit card debt? You're not alone, and those high interest rates can feel impossible to escape. A SO-Fi personal loan can help you consolidate debt into one simple payment with a low fixed rate so you could actually make progress.

And if investing feels intimidating, SoFi makes it simple. You don't need to be a pro and you don't need a lot of money to start. Just start. You can begin in minutes and right now get up to $1,000 in stock when you open and fund a self-directed account with SoFi securities. This is everything, saving, spending, borrowing, investing, all in one app. Achieve all your ambitions, all in one app at sophy.com slash aspire. The start with Yourself tour kicks off on April 15th in New York City. Tickets are on sale now at emmagre.com.

So today, my plan is to read some of the book directly to you. It's right here in all its glory, and I'm going to read it to you. And that part is about a moment that changed my life. But first and before that, I want to get into a few of your biggest questions. And you know I've been out here, I've been on social media, but I know your questions, and I really want to make sure that in today's episode, I'm addressing everything that I can about this book in the hope that you'll go out and actually buy it and read it because it's very important to me. So the first question is,

so why now and why a book, which I think is a really good place to start. Now, I wrote this book because I'm convinced that when you ask me how I've become successful or how I've done what I've done, you are not asking me because you're interested in me. You're asking me because you want to know how you can do it for yourself. And here's the thing. I am entirely, entirely convinced that you can. And I'm telling you that this book, it's going to help you get there. Not because it's a magic wand that's going to change your life, but it's going to do two things for you. First, it's going to show you what's holding you back. And it's going to rewire your thinking so that you can move forward into the life and the work that you want and that you so rightly deserve.

Start with yourself really is. It's a game-changing, no bullshit guide for any of you that are seeking meaningful success on your own terms. And that part is really important. And secondly, it's actually a framework. It's one that is going to give you the tools and the mindset to unlock your full potential in your life and in your business. It's based on my learnings, but it isn't about me at all. It's all about you. The next question is what exactly does it mean? when I say to start with yourself. Now, if I'm honest, what I'm actually giving you here is my personal philosophy. It's how I think and how I live every day. First, it's about literally starting with yourself, meaning to put yourself at the very top of your list of priorities.

Yes, exactly that. Even if you're a mum, or if you have a lot of people relying on you, or even if you consider yourself a team player, or you've become so freaking accustomed to put in yourself way down on your list of things to do, you can and you still should start with yourself every damn day. Now, to start with yourself actually means taking ultimate responsibility for yourself, for your thoughts, for your attitude, for your learning, and for all your failings, all of it. No questions asked, no excuses, no fucks given. I want you to start with what you can control. I want you to have a vision for yourself. And then I want you to learn to manage your emotions and tune out whatever doesn't serve you. Easier said than done. I hear you say it,

but I promise you that this is a blueprint and it's something that you will be able to follow. This, my darlings, is a start with yourself mentality. And it is all in the book which launches today. So the third question, here we are. But there's so much business and self-help content out there. I hate the idea of self-help content. What makes start with yourself different? And what should we not expect from this? It's a very good question. Okay, let me tell you what I will never ever do. I will never lie to you. I will never overpromise or simplify things. I will never tell you that you can manifest your way to success or vision board your way to making millions. No, ma'am. If that shit worked, more people would have more

success. Ambition has to find you working. And ambition requires discomfort. If you want to get paid what you're worth, you'll actually need audacity, but it must be coupled with a work ethic to match the level of ambition. I'm going to hold up a mirror in some parts of this book, and sometimes that's going to be painful or it's going to be uncomfortable because it really is hard to imagine that some of the shit that holds you back actually comes directly from you. But the good news, a really good news,

is that the ability to change some of it is entirely within you too. What is the use of thinking about the stuff outside of your control anyway? It's not a good use of your time or your energy, and I promise you that. What is true is that we are all handed a different start in life. And I acknowledge that, and I recognize it for you and in you, as I actually did for myself. It's never fair. I'm honest about what kept me stuck. But I will tell you the start of my story was never, ever going to determine the end.

And if you give me the chance, I'm going to show you how to reimagine how you show up for yourself by starting with yourself. If you've been listening to this podcast, you know by now that I love to read. I ask everyone who comes here to tell me a book that changed their life. I've read every business book out there, and I'm really happy to be able to add my point of view into the collective wisdom. They really aren't nearly as many business books written by women as there should be, and there certainly aren't a lot of books that are written by moms, certainly mums are four, high school dropouts, those that have built billions of dollars of capital value. So I have a lot to say that you won't have heard already. I wrote the book as a blueprint to my

mindset and how I think about business and life. And I structured it with really super easy takeouts, like short, snackable chapters so that you can get what you need fast. But I've also been honest, and I wanted to share my background and my story in a way that's going to allow you to immediately apply my philosophy to whatever it is that you're trying to build and whatever you're trying to create for yourself. The next question. Who exactly is the book for and what if I don't have a business? Of course I love this question. Let me tell you something. One of the biggest unlocks for me in my life was realising that I'm actually wired differently. I owe this to my upbringing, to my family, to my dyslexia. So I don't have the same stories running in my head about what's possible.

And this is key because not accepting the prevailing wisdom as a given in your life is actually going to set you free. It's going to allow you to move differently. Now, within the book, I've called out some outdated ideas and set in stone rules that are really ingrained in our culture about work and life and balance, rules that we're told and that are reinforced every day about the crassness of speaking about and even wanting a lot of money and the unseemliness of ambition, specifically for women. Now, we've all heard people speaking negatively about someone who understands her worth and someone who dares to ask for it or someone who can just come across

as too ambitious and too full of themselves. But guess what? These aren't rules at all that we're following. They're just biases and they are bullshit. They're system errors and I need you to strike them from your mind so that you can gain a greater sense of control and master your day to day

and your long-range goals. Start with yourself is for you if you're tired of feeling like a bystander or a passenger in your life. It's for you who's got big dreams and wants to get on the path to achieving what you know you're capable of. It's for you, if you're the type of person

who's just got a promotion, but the self-doubt and the imposter syndrome is starting to creep in. It's for you if you've just started a business and you feel overwhelmed and you feel scared of what's ahead and you're doubtful that you should even have started a tool.

It's for you, the founder, who's raised the money and feels all the pressure to deliver and live up to the non-stop expectations. It's for the mums trying to figure out how to prioritize and the leaders who know that they're capable of another level.

And let me tell you why, it is because I am and I have been all of you at some point in my life, all of those things, but I knew I was a lot more to. What I'm going to give you are some applicable, right,

now solutions to create a mindset and an overall system of thought that's going to allow you to manage your emotions to clarify your ideas and it's going to light up the right next step. Start with yourself is actually about gathering yourself after failure. It's about being accountable, but also about forgiving yourself. It's about not accepting any shortcuts, but never being bashful about grabbing them when they appear. It's about pushing hard for the wins. and never apologizing for your dreams. In the book, I'm going to give you a new vision for work and for life that's going to encourage you to take responsibility for your own thinking

so that you can achieve your highest personal and professional success. That's it. It's exactly what it's going to do. If the world were like a sleep number mattress, everything would adapt for your comfort. Because as your life changes and your body changes, sleep number mattresses adapt and shift to give you personal mattresses, personalized comfort night after night. And now everything's on sale during our Memorial Day event. Save up to $1,200 on mattresses for a limited time. To experience a whole new world of comfort,

visit a sleep number store or go to sleep number.com. Sleep number to a good life sleep. The start with yourself tour kicks off on April 15th in New York City. Tickets are on sale now at emigre.com. Here's something most people don't talk about. A lot of cookware in your kitchen still contains forever chemicals like Teflon that can leach into your food. Once you know that, it's hard to ignore. Our Place was founded by a woman who had that exact realization. She wanted clean, safe products for her own family and couldn't find them. So she built a brand around it. Everything Our Place makes is non-toxic, beautifully designed and multifunctional. It's cookware that actually looks good in your kitchen and performs the way it should. Their Alwayspan is a kitchen staple for a reason. It

replaces multiple pieces. Nothing sticks and it makes cooking simpler. The Wonder oven is another standout. It's an air fryer and an oven in one that lets you make healthier meals in minutes. It's all designed in Los Angeles and built to last. If you care about what goes into your home, especially if you have kids, this is worth looking into. I love that it comes from a female founded company that all started with a mission. Stop cooking with toxic cookware and upgrade to our place today. Visit from our place.com slash aspire and use code aspire for 10% off sitewide. With a hundred day risk-free trial, free shipping and returns, you can experience this game-changing cookware with zero risk. Question five, what did you learn about yourself after writing this book? So much, as it turns out.

Now, can I tell you that when I set out to write this book, I thought that I would be writing something solely about building a brand and a business, about navigating in career when you have a family about the leadership lessons that I'd learned, the hard way, obviously, and money and tradeoffs and all the things that I like to talk about the most. And I do write about all of those subjects in this book extensively. But why I understood really quickly, while those things are subjects that come really easily to me, they aren't what set me apart. And so I had to do a lot of self-examination to even begin to understand what led me

to where I am in my life, but also what will be useful to you when you take the time to read this book. And when I say useful, I mean, writing something that you could actually use, not just read, I want you to take, start with yourself, into your own life. I want you to take it into your heads and your hands and use it as a tool to get somewhere else, somewhere that you have chosen. Now, because of where and how I was raised in East London, which was and still is like a really tough neighborhood. I grew up in an environment where there were real things to be fearful about all the time. And I remember that feeling of actually being scared. Small things like the reality of getting your bike stolen on a given day after school or, I don't know, bigger problems that have made me

hypervigilant and really untrusting my whole life. As a teen, I dropped out of high school and I went straight to work. But I didn't want to be reliant on anyone for anything. And when I was in my late teens, I decided to stop blaming the world and to take responsibility for my own experience. Now, both the subject of what I do with fear and this idea of radical self-responsibility, they're weaved throughout this book as they have been throughout my life. Because there's so much out there about vision boards, visualization, manifestation, I wanted to be clear about my point of view here. And I actually begin the book with what I believe is one of the most important things

that you can think about. And it's an important place to start. It's vision. And by that, I mean holding a clear vision for your career and for your life. You've heard me talk about it before in plan your life like a business. It's one of my episodes where I talk about building a business plan for your life. But I have throughout my life been someone who held a really clearly articulated vision for myself. I knew exactly what type of woman I wanted to be. When I was a kid, I manifested it in scrapbook after scrapbook with like little cutouts from old Vogue magazines. I was dreaming about a different life for me and a different life for my sisters. I knew that it was out there because I could see it in the magazines and more importantly, in my mind.

What I understood from a really young age is that I could trust the visions that were in my head and I could use them as a signpost for what might be ahead. But importantly, I never assumed that they were full gone. conclusions or a given eventuality. As a kid, I didn't quite know how I would achieve them, but I knew I would figure it out. I understood that my dreams would require work. And correlating your vision to your output is what I want to show you. My next question. What was the hardest part of the book to write? I think there's so many of you have asked me, like, what was the hardest part to write? And it was without a doubt the section on managing emotions, not just because it's really highly personal, but also because I wanted to share where I got that really wrong in the past.

This book is full of my mistakes, and I put those in there so that you might learn from me. It was important to me to explore the role that managing emotions has in our overall decision-making, especially in a book that is all about taking control and responsibility for yourself. Now, emotional literacy and emotional intelligence are skills that so many, of us women have. And they are critical skills for reading a room, for tapping into cultural trends and for understanding the motivations of other people. But to reap the benefits of your gut-based intuitions and to use your emotions in a healthy way, you are going to need to learn how to modulate and manage your emotions. Our feelings are an essential source of information. Any woman

knows that intuitively, but you cannot live a healthy or functional life if you're running a decision-making process based on your anger or your fear or your guilt. It just isn't possible. How many times if you agree to do things that you absolutely don't want to do? Like, I'm telling you, it's countless times. This has happened to me so many times in my life. But let me tell you, it's a type of betrayal to yourself and we need to stop doing it. So before I could get deeper into mindset, assessing that I'm not. old thoughts that shaped me. There's so many of us show in the world. I needed to clear the emotional decks first, and so will you. So in this part of the book, I decided that I would put chapters

on guilt and fear and anger and joy and sadness because without a good understanding of how these play a role in your decision making and how you show up, it's really hard to move forward. Impossible, I would say. Okay, the next thing. You have gotten criticised for your views on work-life balance. Are you addressing this in the book? Yes, I guess I would have to. I feel like I gave a couple of comments and those comments will just not go anywhere.

So I thought I'd just write chapters about them so that we could all think about it. I think that we have to talk about the old thoughts and the new thoughts piece in this book because you are going to recognise this. And yes, of course, we're going to talk about work-life balance. I think it is fairly and abundantly clear that we've all been told that you should strive for work-life balance. And I'm pretty sure if you're listening to this

podcast, you know my views on this already. But when I went on Diary of a CEO and express my opinion that I still stand by, by the way, that work-life balance is your problem and not your employers, and that by the way, it's the wrong goal altogether. I was blasted. Let me tell you what I've think the helpful new thought is. Rather than wasting your time, searching for a work-life balance, which is the wrong focus, strive instead for alignment to your ultimate ambition. I want you to make sure you hear that, right? Alignment to your ultimate ambition. This is the right goal. If you want to go big, think about what it is that you want. And for a period of time, do everything it takes to get there. Be all in, if that's what you're aiming for. In for the long hours, in for the office. And for a

office like five days a week because you know this. What you lose in remote work is profound. And the downside is deceleration, which is a curse for ambition. In the book, I talk about hustle culture and I get that people are tired and burnt out. But an extraordinary career is always the result of extraordinary effort. I can guarantee that if I had been worked from home in my 20s, that I wouldn't be anywhere close to where I am now. I'm going to go one step further on this. this point and tell you that remote work is killing life and it's career suicide. But maybe you just need to read the book for more. So look, here's my thoughts. I am an in-person person. I want to be with people. I want to collaborate. I love detail. I love specificity. I want to do things quickly.

I mentor a lot of young men and women inside my business. And work culture right now makes that very, very hard. I can't teach you through a screen. If you're not with me, you won't see how I move or how I operate. You need proximity to me. You need to understand the flow of what is happening. The way we work now actually makes me a little bit sad because I don't think we're having all of the exchanges that are the result of being in a really dynamic environment where you're able to learn from people on the fly and all the time. We're just simply not as together as we used to be. Even if we actually work five days a week and in person, there's an element of almost like self-imposed solitude in modern life. We're not connecting because of social media, because of

online shopping and because you don't even leave your house for food. So after work drinks goes totally out of the window. And our personal and professional relationships really are suffering because of it. It just isn't as much fun. If you work in a business with other people or you want to build a business of scale someday, the idea that you can do it alone is a joke. You're not going to get far unless you surround yourself with people because nobody is successful working on their own. Absolutely nobody. And my experience tells me that that's a fact. If you want to lead or be at the decision-making level of any company together connected and in person is the only way. I honestly just haven't seen it work any other way. And I promise you, I'm not trying to upset anyone.

I can only tell you what works for me. And for the record, I'm not saying that this is the rule for everyone. But if you're an ambitious little monster like me, if you want to keep moving and progressing, if you want to make a lot of money in your chosen field and become best in class anything, there is a trade-off and it doesn't include much balance for a period of time. As I've said, I've never seen it work any other way. And funnily enough, when men have said the exact same thing out loud, zero comeback. I'm just saying. So that's my point. And I hope I've cleared it up. And if I haven't, there's more in the book. Okay, one more question. Here we go. This person asked, I'm conflicted whether I should go after my dream career right now,

then wait to start my family or start my family first when I'm still figuring it out. But of course, little old me, mother of four, has a point of view on this. And it's something that I talk about so much in the book. There is an entire chapter on family. But here is another old fault I think we really need to move on from. the thought that you should get your career totally dialed in before you have kids. I'm going to be so unpopular in this book on sale. But never mind. A couple of things I just want to get out of the way because I know that this is a really touchy subject.

The first thing is, there is no perfect time to have a baby. There is, however, a biological reality. Careers recover. Fertility doesn't. IVF is a privilege, not a plan. And waiting for stability is how so many women actually lose choice. Now, I know firsthand the joy of having a baby. And sadly, I know the pain and the frustration and the anxiety of not being able to get

pregnant. Now, to be clear, I am absolutely not advocating for teen pregnancy. But I am suggesting that waiting until your 38 isn't smart. Thankfully, we have IVF and even surrogacy, which I was at. able to utilize for my twins. But that shit is expensive and it's not for everybody. As someone who employs countless women, I think there are three main reasons that women are choosing to get pregnant later in life. Number one, we prefer to wait to further our careers. Two, looking for the perfect partner. And three, because parenting, what we think of as modern day parenting,

has gone completely mad. Now, if you put those three things together, here we are. The average age of first-time mothers in the US is now 27 and a half. In 1970, it was 21. If you're college educated, it's even higher. 30 for women with a bachelor's degree. And 33, if you have a professional degree, like, according to the CDC. Now, granted, many women are choosing not to have a baby. It is not the be or and ender. And for the record, I am not talking to those women. I applaud and support any woman's choice. I have. many happy and fulfilled friends who are just good being aunties. But we know that many women do want to have kids and we're putting it off to a point where it's just no longer our choice. Age kicks in and we're left with too few options or completely heartbreaking or in my case,

both. I had a baby at 31 and at 34 and I had my twins by surrogate at 39 after multiple IVF attempts. I have countless friends and colleagues who left it too late. IVF isn't a safety net. Live birth rates using your own eggs drops from 55% when you're under 35 to 41% when you're 35 to 37, down again to 27% at 38 to 40, and to 13 to only 4% at 41, 42 and over. As a result, so many women I know are miserable. Now, as someone who, has done it the hard way and the easy way, I want to tell you, and I want to help women navigate the three big reasons that they're choosing not to have kids. And I wanted to use my book to help dispel a couple of really big myths that are out there. Trust me, your career will recover.

Finding a perfect partner that ticks every box is impossible. Newsflash people. There is no such thing as a perfect partner or someone that can meet all of your needs. There is just a bunch of stuff, you will need to provide yourself outside of your romantic relationship. That's a conversation for another episode. Parenting has lost the plot. Yes, but trust me, as a mother of four, it's just not that deep. It's not that hard. You don't need all the things that you think, and your kids don't need everything you're

being told either. This idea that you are solely responsible for your kids' lives, and it's your responsibility to protect them from the world, and it's just like an additional full-time, job, it's just not so. I have stopped being ambitious on behalf of my kids, and I go into this in so much detail in the book I cannot tell you. Now, I've just touched on a few of the many, many rules that I want to dispel and create a conversation around, importantly. And within the book, of course, I'm going through it in a lot finer detail to help you think for yourself around these subjects. It's all in there, my corporate career journey before I started building businesses, the stories

about the businesses I've built and the leadership lessons that I have learned. I end the book with my basic rules for success. What I want to do now is read the intro straight from the book about a moment that changed my trajectory. If you're a woman running a business, raising a family, managing a schedule that doesn't pause, the areas of your health that slip first are usually. the ones you don't notice until you feel it. Energy, gut health, immune support, the foundation. That's what AG1 is designed to address. It's a daily health drink that contains a multivitamin,

pre-and-probi, superfoods and antioxidants, all in one step. One scoop, eight ounces of water. Their next gen formula is clinically shown to fill the nutrient gaps women face at every stage of life. Instead of managing a dozen different supplements, it's one habit that covers the fundamentals. So for women who are already stretched thin, it's one less thing to think about that still supports your health. AG1 has over 50,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee. Visit drinkag1.com slash aspire to get a free morning person mug plus a one week supply of AGZ samples with your AG1 welcome kit when you first subscribed. That's drinkag1.com slash aspire, drink AG1.com slash aspire.

Study and play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the Unreal College deal, everything you need, to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 premium and a year of Xbox GamePass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at Windows.com student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th, terms at AKA.m.m.m.m. If weight management is something you've been thinking about, the landscape has shifted in a real way. There's more direct access to medically guided options than they used to be. That's a shift that matters, especially in areas where there's been a lot of noise and not a lot of

clarity. Weight loss by hers aims to simplify the process and support you in reaching your goals. They now offer access to FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including Weigovie, which is available as a pill or as a pen. Everything through hers is online. You connect with a licensed provider who determines if treatment is right for you and if prescribed is delivered to your door. Hers also offers ongoing care, dosage adjustments, access to nutrition guidance and lifestyle tools to help you stay on track. Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com slash aspire to get pay. personalized, affordable care that gets you.

That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash aspire. 4-HERS.com slash aspire. Weight loss by hers is not available in all 50 states. Waygo-Vee is the registered trademark of Novo-Nors disk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, where GoVe, clinical study information and restrictions, visit forehers.com. So before we wrap, a quick reminder that start with yourself is available for

pre-order and tickets for the live shows are available now. Starting April 15th, we're coming to New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, D.C., Boston, Atlanta and London. Visit emigre.com for tickets and full tour details. I cannot wait. Start with yourself. It's a new vision for work and life. And this is the introduction. Where was Marcus? I was on the tent floor of a very gray, very shitty, 21-floor apartment complex in Stratford, which for the uninitiated is in East London. It was a concrete dump, but for me it was free. As I walked to the station every day to take my train into town, you would never have thought I was living in a flat with no stove or fridge. Marcus and I would joke that in England, a balcony is sufficient to keep milk cold. It's possible that on this day

there was a Gucci-Diamonte thong peeking out from the top of my jeans, as was the questionable style of the day. But what's for sure is that I look fantastic. I've always known how to put myself together, even when everything in my life was a mess. And on this particular day, everything was a disaster. The apartment was small. I slept on the couch in the living room,

Marcus in the single bedroom. And so it didn't take me long to deduce that he wasn't there. And then the phone screamed through the silence. It was Marcus. he said, I've been arrested. You need to go on a walk. My mate is coming over to get some of my things until he does, Emma, don't go home. All right, all right, I replied, scared and thoroughly confused. So I went for a walk. I stayed away until well after dark and with each step I turned Marcus's words over and over in my mind. What was his mate going to do in our apartment? Why couldn't I be there at the same

time? What was his mate going to do? The more I thought, the more scared and confused I felt. All I knew for sure is that I needed to follow Marcus's instructions precisely. I had known him my whole life and I trusted him like family. Marcus ended up spending 22 years in jail. Only much, much later did I sort of surmise that his mate must have come by to collect some central contraband. I didn't want to know back then and I still don't. For me, the main point then and now is simply that Marcus, on the edge of the abyss,

was thinking of me, trying to keep me safe. That felt meaningful and symbolic. My future deserved his protection, and I carried that from that moment onward, the knowledge of his faith in me, the belief that I was destined for more, and also the realization that I would need to cross a bridge from the world he and I came from to the world where I wanted to live. Marcus could have easily told me on the phone that day that I needed to find a place of my own, but he made sure that the rent on the council flat was paid for years, as I had no money and nowhere else to go. I paid his mum 20 quid a week to stay. I was 17 years old and working my way through fashion school. And that's all I had to spare. Marcus is not the only family member or family friend who went to jail when I was a kid.

This was part of my reality. My extended family and family friend circle looks like a casting call for a Guy Ritchie movie. They're good looking, they're fast talking and they have nicknames like Bonesy and Mads. My mum, Jenny Lee, is white and British and raised me on her own. My dad, Steve, who is Trinidadian, though born in England, is a good person and really fun, but he was completely absent during my childhood. He's been a British telecoms engineer for his entire adult life earning a modest income. We're great friends now, but I could no doubt have used his steady presence in my young life. If a fortune teller had taken a look at my destiny when I was growing up, she would have predicted I'd become a DJ's girlfriend or a footballer sidepiece or marry a gangster.

that seemed to be the predetermined path for all the women in my life. Women who put everyone ahead of their own dreams and fell into rutted expectations that yielded mostly heartbreak and financial dead ends. My mum was a little different. She'd fangled a job on a trading desk, and while she encountered some hurdles in her life, she had a legitimate job at a bank for most of my childhood. My mom is very smart, though she was a tough role model at times too.

I didn't officially graduate from high school. I was asked to leave for being disruptive only to learn as an adult that I'm dyslexic and struggled to keep up because they didn't know how to teach me. I dropped out of the London College of Fashion after my first term because I couldn't afford to stay. I grew up in chaos with occasional violence and very few means. And yet, here I am. Nobody would have predicted that I'd have launched many, many successful businesses and earn a spot on Forbes America's richest self-made women list.

by the age of 40. Nobody would have predicted that I'd be in a loving and warm marriage of 16 years with a brilliant and supportive Swede from an artsy family. Nobody would have predicted after a childhood where I was overly involved in raising my three younger sisters that I'd go on to become the mother of four incredible kids who I am rightly obsessed with. Nobody would have predicted that I'd be able to therapy so much of my anger and have access to so much happiness. I always knew, though. One of the things my mother used to say to me is you're not more special than anyone else,

but nobody is more special than you. My mum had an inconsistent relationship with reality, but this felt like one of the truest things she ever said, and I integrated it deeply into my thinking. Why me, and also why not me? While I was a responsible and overly perennified 10-year-old, somebody had to get my sisters to school, feed them, and show up for parent-teacher conferences,

because my mum couldn't get the time off of work. I recognised at an early age that it would be best for me to assume complete responsibility for myself too. Rather than looking for people and factors to blame for why everything in my life was shaky and unstable, I decided to get on with it and do everything differently from the people around me to create safety and security for myself.

I didn't have any mentors until I'd already become successful, but that didn't prevent me from paying attention. I looked for teachers, everywhere. I followed my curiosity into many books as I could get my hands on. I questioned everything and I learned from every encounter. Nobody was going to give me any break, so I asked for them instead. I wedged my foot into any door that was even remotely cracked open. I pushed, I hustled, I showed up again and again, keeping my word and doing what I said I would do along the way. I get a lot of questions about how I've done what I've done. People find me on shows like Shark Tank in the

US and Dragon's Den in the UK. They slide into my digital. DMs and pull me aside at conferences or on the street. They want guidance on when, if or how to start a family or a business and ultimately how to balance the two and scale. Explaining how I've done what I've done so other women can do it too was the core impetus for writing this book, along with my frustration that there's a lot of marketing for women in business that frankly feels wrong, or like it plays into the insidious programming that keeps us all small. People often talk about playbooks for success, and I'm here to tell you that there is no playbook, particularly for women. While it's true that the rules of the old boys club still sometimes work out for men, that's not always true either.

What I've learned from operating, scaling and monetising many businesses for more than 20 years is that it's not really about prescribed actions, do this and do that and get this result. It's about the thinking that determines those actions. This is a book about mindset, about managing your emotions, clarifying your thoughts and taking the right next step, all while holding a positive vision for your future. It's about collecting yourself after failure, expecting no shortcuts, but taking any you can find, and pushing hard for the wins. It's about thinking for yourself and finding your own path while learning from everyone else's mistakes along with your own. While a lot of people look to me for guidance on scaling billion dollar businesses, this book isn't just for entrepreneurs who hope to IPO someday. This book is for anyone who's tired of feeling like a passenger in their own life

and want something different for their future. That could be more ease and abundance with money, a balanced home life, or a blueprint for building a profitable side hustle that requires no financial investment. In the following pages, I'm going to tell you about the foundational operating system that guides my life, which I learned in the streets of a very specific place, East London. I'm going to explain how I came to manage and moderate my emotions so that I didn't use any perceived affront from the exterior world as a justification to unload my anger, sadness, fear or guilt and other people, only setting myself back in the process. And then, one by one,

I'm going to take down a series of what I call old thoughts. Women will recognize these old thoughts as core to the way we tend to think about the rules of life and business. These thoughts include needing to know the right people or being invited to the right events, that money is in elegant, unspiritual, scarce and dirty, that doing it all is an achievable goal so long as you unlock the code to balancing your work and family life perfectly and so many more. There are good reasons why we buy into these old thoughts. Our culture provides manifold evidence that they're true

and that we need to abide by them to be socially acceptable. But I haven't. And because of this, I have a lot to show for it on the other side. My life isn't perfect, and I still work on myself every single day. But I live the life I always dreamed of with a family I'm so in love with, a beautiful house with two working fridges, and every day I get to do work that I enjoy. I can hear a lot of butts rising in people's throats.

But what will people think of me? But what will I need to sacrifice to pursue my dreams? but nothing about this world is equitable or fair. I hear you. I'm not going to gaslight you. I'm not going to bathe you in toxic positivity or rain platitudes down on your head. Yes, the world is typically more difficult

for women, people of colour and poor people. And yes, I am and have been all three. There are very few factors that feel ideal for mothers to succeed. I understand that men have much less pressure to be all things to all people and that nobody asked Steve Jobs or Ilyle Musk how they balance their parenting while they built Apple or Tesla. Instead, we've largely celebrated their single-minded focus on their goals, even when they've come to the detriment of society.

We see the quirks and the faults of powerful men through our fingers. I cannot name a single woman who has been afforded the same luxury. This is all true. And yet, we cannot wait for the world to meet our preferences in order to take action. besides, women are exceptional. In the following pages, I'm going to remind you that your exceptionality is true and more accessible when you learn to turn down all the voices in your head suggesting you're not doing it right and turn up your own voice instead.

We are full of potential. When that potential meets grit and determination, everything is up for grabs. And now we need to grab it. We can't wait for the world to decide that it's our turn to lead and succeed. That ain't going to happen. But we need something different. After all, when I look around at the state of women, I'm both impressed and also very disappointed.

The halls of power and cap tables don't reflect our exceptionality, nor do I meet a lot of women who feel fantastic about the balance of their lives. Far too many women feel like they're failing or creatively stifled or functionally blocked. All women are exhausted. While it's very easy, and we see this all over our culture to blame men and inequitable systems, that's just not how I roll. Not because it's not sometimes valid, but because it's not how change happens. Nothing is fair. It's true. But I don't have time to wait for equity. I'd rather make it. I take full responsibility for my life and I create my own future, regardless of what comes back to me.

If we're going to change the world, we have to start with ourselves. We have to get all. on our own teams and we have to choose ourselves first. We have everything we need. Let my life be proof that our lives are unpredictable and that you can push against expectations and come out way on top. I do not follow scripts. I do not abide by prevailing and often toxic thoughts. While there's ample cultural proof that these thoughts are right or common or foregone conclusions, I see things differently and I live my life accordingly. This is why we're a lot of. This is why worked out for me quite well. While nothing happens overnight or without a lot of hard work, you can engineer your life to match your wildest dreams. This process starts by identifying what

those dreams even are, doing the work to manage your emotions and then changing the way you think about what's possible. While my achievement seems singular, especially in the context of where I came from, I'm pretty convinced that I've done what I've done precisely so I can teach you how to do it to. Let's begin. So if you liked that, the audiobook is coming for you. But that is where it all started. I hope you've learned more about the why behind my book today. It's out now and I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on it.

We're going on a book tour and there is so much more that I want to share with you. So I would love to see you there. If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click follow on your favorite listening platform. While you're there, give us a review and a five-star rating and share an episode you loved with a friend. You'll be so grateful. A Spy with Emagreed is presented by Odyssey. I'm your host, Emma Greed. Executive producer, Ashley McShan, Derek Brown, and me.

Our executive producers from Odyssey, Leah Reese Dennis, Asha Saluja, Lauren Lagrosso. Producer KK. Sublime. Stephen Key is our senior producer. Sound design and engineering by Bill Shorts. Angela Paluso is our Booker, original music by Charles Black. Video production by Evan Cox, Kurt Courtney, Andrew Steele, and Carlos Del Social Media by Olivia Holman, Catherine Bale. Special thanks to Brittany Smith, Sydney Ford,

my teams at the lead company and WME. Mora Curran, Josephina Francis, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly, Kate Hutchinson Rose, Tim Mekyll, Sean Cherry, and Lauren Vieira. If you have questions for me, you can DM me at Aspire with Emma Greed. Greed is spelled G-R-E-D-E, that's AspI-R-P-I-R-E with Emma Greed. Or you can submit a question to me on my website, emigreed.me.

Ambition comes in all shapes and sizes. At First Citizens Bank, we roll with your goals because we're built for what you're building. Fit for your ambition. First Citizens Bank.