Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 26: Flat Hand!

Episode Date: December 30, 2022

A tale from the island, Eddie visits Peter, the Secret Soccer Superstar returns, waiter ASMR, and Martin calls on Mr Sting. (Rec: 31/3/22) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello boys and girls, welcome to Atlético Passnips and please enjoy the tale of the Siege of Mullins' Coove. The year was 1966. 20 brave families were defending the last fairy-point that still remained operative on the island. The final fairy from the mainland was jeated dock in one hour, and the families had gathered together all their worldly goods, ready to make their escape. Up above them, on Horseshearage stood a hundred so at the Laird's minions, many of them armed with curved, pointy sticks and hammers fashioned from sheet bones. The escapees were only armed with forthright expressions and the odd kitchen implement,

such as a whisk and potato bashes. There was only one stony, slaggy path down from the ridge to the small jetty, and the escapees had drowned it in oil and lullanolin to make transgression nigh unimpossible. It was a standoff that created remarkable tension and stress. Some of the younger lads unlosses shitted their knickers to the very brim and had to be dipped in the sea to cleanse their distress. Younger babies were collecting fruit boxes, and the lids nailed shut to soften the sound of their awful wailing. As the mainland ferry appeared on the horizon, the lords army became restless and unsettled. The lords attack Foxes started to

howl and Hazel McFlurry, the lords personal wicker, began to disrobe herself until she was stood naked at the top of the path. It was immediately apparent that she had planted it to spam. There was a mumbling amongst the villages. The Macphigity brothers in particular became somewhat ornate in their attitude. My God, Mutted Hey Mishmuckphigity, have you ever seen that much spurt in a mural environment? Never answered Nick Macphigidy, there's so much additional tiddan that lassie that the duvet could be hidden if it's promise. Turn away!

Commanded Lizzie McOatkex, the leader of the Escapies, she's after your personal pipes. But it was too late. All the men among the escapees were now transfixed by the sight above them and started to crawl up the screed to gaze more closely upon Hazel's puddings. With their excited pipes banging against the oily rocks as they did so. As each one reached the top of the path, their faces and chests were pierced with the curved pointy sticks and their personal pipes deflated as they took their last breath. The last man to reach the summit was Mitch McFigidy,

so that he was no killed by the sticks or hammers. Know it was the sight of Heizle staring into his eyes that finished him off For she had the face of Gemma Collins So that was a Scottish true Scottish tale from the archives Yeah, that's a nice return of the Scottish tale there. Hello, hello. Robert. Hello. Hello, where are you? When you're loft in your basement. I'm in my bedroom where I'm in your bedroom.

I have a bedroom. I have a bedroom, yes. I just thought you'd have just used your bedroom for storage of 10 foods, you know. Well, I mean, there is that over there, but there's a bed area here. Oh, I can see them. So, it's bachelor's, pro. Oh, there's them, bachelor's, mushy peas you've got. Yeah. And some tins. Sparagas, get you, Andy. A little pyramid, I made it with tins of peck, which you passed their best by date, but that's still all right.

It's on the ham. Peck. Oh, it's a good. Pecky cake, quality ham. I prefer it to spam, I find spam overrated and slightly bland. They both keep your blood nice and thick though, don't they? Oh, as long as you eat the jelly that they're coming, you're alright. Are you doing okay? I'm okay, yeah, I'm actually Andrew, you very rarely ask about me off these days, do you?

I wasn't asking about it then, it was just more of an overview of whether you're okay or not in general, but would you like me to ask about your health at this point? No, I'd forget it, I'm not bothered. No, no, I will, I will, because you clearly do. How's your health, Bob? Well, it's pretty good, Andrew. Oh! It's pretty good. Thank you very much indeed. Pretty good. I'm paling on the weight because I don't know if you're the same. This lockdowns changed me. I'm an indoors sort of character now. Yeah, I think I've become a hermit. I

Don't really feel any kind of desire to go out and mingle among people or socialize or anything like that anymore. It's a bit of a shame, you mean it? I think it'll change once the weather gets better and we get summer and all that. We can go out and frolic or whatever we use. Have a lack of that.

Did we use the frolic? You didn't. No. You just waddle. Yeah. You waddle and fall. You can't frolic with You didn't. No. You just waddle. Yeah. You waddle and fall. Look how frolic we're tits like this, can you? I have got some questions from the wife here, Andrew.

Oh, that's nice. Talking of waddling. She says Andy, nice to speak to you. Yes. When you are waddling around Sunderland Town Centre and you see an enemy up ahead of you, do you change up to super ahead of you. Do you change up to Superwaddle so that you can cover them in lung juices as you pass them?

It's an interesting question, I may first of all, I don't have any enemies. Get out of it. I don't have any enemies. I'm a kid in the community. Well regarded, well regarded member of the community. What you got on with your neighbours and that? I got on with everyone me. So when you move into your house, you go, you did you go around your nubs and say, all right, I'm the new resident. No, of course it didn't. Yeah, because it would frighten them wouldn't it? No, it, it, it can't pass the, yeah, the front of the house when I was fixing me new doorbell. Yeah. And we had a bit of a chat then. When you say doorbell do you mean a stick and an

empty tin of peck? Yeah, to tin it, to tin can and you just shout into it and there's some string and it activates the tin can, the back of the house. Yeah, go on. Is it true that you marinered your chicken wings in an old paint tin filled with your back sweat? That's a you know, a slightly raw question, but maybe you do. It's a very personal question that isn't it? It's a very um very accurate question because yes You do do that. Yes, and how do they taste? Oh, fantastic It's good. It's kind of like cannibalism, but that just... I detest very back-y. You know, like, right, fully back-y.

Because of the back sweat. It's an element of cannibalism, but that just improves the experience, I think. It's far better, it's full of protein. Are there any more of these? Sorry, Andy, there is one more. Andy, what's the earliest you have left the stadium of light before full time? Have you ever actually left before kickoff? Thinking no, I left it half-time once I left it off time we were four nil down against us and villa

I just don't fuck this It's terrible that in it. I did that at Bournemouth three nil down at at half time. A weird Bournemouth. A weird Bournemouth or fuck it. I'll beat you traffic. There was one time we were three nil down against your lot. Yeah. And there were fans trying to leave. This is about 55 minutes and the stewards wouldn't let them out so they were fighting the stewards in order to gain their freedom. So that was quite something to say. Peter Beard, he's been in touch, Andy, what do you think of that? He's done his one of his... Do you call them blogs or blogs? I think they're in place. I think MP3s. There might be a SC. I'm not sure. I see yeah MP beardsley I just sat in my garden, you know, I've never got a guy to know what I leave to that, you know Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r

Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r just took me dump and flow off, you know, so, yeah, so, that wife doesn't want me in the house at the moment, she says, but so, she does what may near bad, or like, so, that goes fetch her eggs when she, you'll see, get to the munchies, I suppose I should probably tell you about what has happened, so, I was jumping the kitchen kitchen, creating a wife's own pan with you know them squinty squinty

with the spuds pants. You know them, but you know they're like squinty squinty on one side. On the other side, you know, with the spuds. You know them, but you know they're like, squinty squinty on one side. And on the other side, you know,

with the spuds. But I, you know, as you know, clean sometimes, you get blow-eyed with them. I was yellow and green, squinty squinty with the spuds pants. Mae'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'r fan. Mae'n gweithio'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw Bill, it's got Patti Pimlin on it and a UFO gun choice. They're not on the door, I've got a louder, I've come back to be rude, I ain't not answering you. So I said to wife, this is a promise I won't let, but whether it is inside the house, I promise you that, like, you're one better fucking not. If I miss Patti Pimlin, I will love you so fucking hard. Your dosy face will end up looking like a slice of boiled pork and levy. Yeah, I promise, I promise.

So, answer the door and to my surprise, it was no cut on your night in manager Mr. Ideal. Yeah. Help Peter. How fucking lovely to hug you, mate. Mae'n gwybod yn yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw'r unwch yw' watching the fight and you know whether I put each other to another kissing cuddle on the floor for a while, you know. Oh the fucking the MMA fighting. I forgot that was on the fuck you telly. Patty Pibblet is fighting and he as well fucking shows. I just like you know I promised I'd lay there in peace you know I'd fight with the law like I'm very fucking under the stench square no fucking problem what's I'm fighting ever perhaps we could have a quick chat on your front fucking dough step yeah no no why is it up to a pleasure to meet you with me how are you fighting in your job well it's better than working on a fucking jelly deal No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I like the cut of your gym more and more as I type to give a fucking pisses. So what I want it to ask is that the car is tight on a range of fucking fundraiser for the UK radiance staff and that and we wondered if you might agree to be a fucking house

done tonight. I know you guys have not even got the Albbedeens at the next door like you can't stumble in the round in my loft at night make and noises like a baby baby bear not a fucking chance it sounds a right fucking wallop and I can't, I love to. I've been your joke for a long you know well at that point the wife shall get out. Will you fork and turn it down and not shout there? You fork and little gubs not gumbling.

The bloody pimple fight is about the staff. Oh, you're talking to him anywhere. It's at the out, you know, new customer manager. God, you said he fork and how, the choir boy. Well invite him in your garments, fork and clown. So, I took any, took a TV room. a'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r y Why don't you take a seat next to me under the fucking sofa? Peter will remove the ointments and bandages. That's very funny. I don't you Mrs. B. I hear you're watching a paddy fucking pimp look fight. I love him. He's a choice. So fucking calm. Oh He's my type of fucking guy. A stark contrast to that useless strip of peach water.

I had the misfortune to fuck and mullion. You're quite a fucking joke box, my fucking darling. Oh yeah, here comes Penny Pimler. Let's wish him all the fucking best in his fucking endeavors. There in his cage. Hey, I'm fucking here. Now Peter, can you disappear into the foregone garden or something so me and Eddie can enjoy the fight

without your jeery fucking face to the eyepartus? Oh, yeah, of course, my precious love. Would you and Eddie like some ex-sandex and bother old before I go? No, but be on hand if I change my fuckingifatch eich maafnwch yn minn. So, here I am pub, there you are in the garden, whilst every in the wife was pallied pymlet. There's that robbing back to get on, ffucked off.

So, I'm at Count Gravel, between the two pavers, making up of it in the staring book like which reminds me I might have been a little bit drunk, you know, just to pass the time so it all on, it's Eddie at the back door. Right, go off the paint that, I'll send you a ticket or something. I'm a fucking fundraiser. So all the best with your fucking future plans and good fucking luck with that wafer yours. Oh, see what's an omelette towel with scrambles on the side bars and fucking away. Alright, thanks Eddie. See you soon.

Um, right here Bob's door. Back to the old joke. So I just hope you're a joke buggin' that. Here we go. Right, your Bob's off back to the old jokes or just out be your joke, buggin that. Here we go. I met my wife on the net. Yeah, we were both shit to a piece out. It's... Uh, okay, Bob, I'll tell you what often gets overlooked. The garden fence. Pfft! So, anyway, I swapped me bed for a trampoline.

Oh, man, the wife's nearly at the earth. Yes! One pater, baby. And one pater, baby. I'll see you, Bob. I'll see you, pater. Peter, baby, hello, you want Peter, baby, I'll see you, Bob. I'll see you, Peter. Ah, there we go.

Thanks for that, Paddy Pymless. If you know him, I'm not familiar. I can't be done with all that MMU, whatever it's called, UFC. UFC. It's just fighting, isn't it? It's just fighting, but like, pub fighting. Is it not?

It's like, me sons have got me into it a bit you know I think there is some skills involved but yeah yeah they're on the fight but to be honest with you whenever you watch the boxing you just want them to have a proper fight don't you yeah but at least there's like they don't wear gloves do they it's fucking bear knuckle fighting in it it's more like they've got tarny little like those gloves with where your fingers go through the holes. Fingalous gloves. Fingalous gloves. Yeah. It doesn't feel as though that's...

Ah, maybe it's just me. It's just a bit of an edge. I'm getting old, you know? Some things I used to enjoy or do I enjoy anymore? But that's a total... Hey, soon enough you'll be in the garden, like me and Peter just staring at the flowers and that. Pretty much, it's head not way in it, yeah. flowers isn't that? Pretty much it's head not way in it yeah. Hey shall we have some questions from the past and it was yeah? Well I know there were some nice questions this week. Here's one from Colin Booth, Bob and Andy I'm after some freezer advice. Me and the Mrs have got

an integrated four drawers and you see freezer every six months or so, the frosts gather so much the draws and draw won't shut, is there any way of preventing this or is it just a case of periodically chipping away with our last as brass hand? I used to have similar issues. I can't remember the high sense, that was what it was, the last three phrases I was a high sense and it wasn't expensive, it was budget range, but I had the same thing. And it was supposed to be frost free, but I ended up having that hack away with it with the wooden spoon every few months.

Wooden spoon. I had to work, man, yesterday, with a carving knife. But if he had to come to me earlier, or you had Andy, I'd have advised you against a draw, Fraser. Really? Well, there are a problem. You do get a lot of ice buildup,

and you're taking up more space than you might think just by the very fact of having draws. So I've just recently returned to just a chest one. It's just a hole. You want them to live at the top and just drop it in. And you get that fun of scurrying around a few months later and finding what's in there, you know. That's good fun.

I had a chest freezer in the garage, but I've got rid of it last week, because I'm not using it. Matt regret that. I don't think so. I tell you what, I mean, this makes me sound like a good person, but I gave it away to the Sunderland community soup kitchen Right, you know, a operate in Sunderland

Message them as said would they be interested and they would and you know what they're gonna store in it Don't know pies. Oh Man, so that feels like I'm so proud of it. I think it is yeah And they've offered me some free pies once they start doing the pies and a weight or two. So that's a thought in winning it. So you've increased the stock pie storage capacity of the Sunderland area. I applaud you, Evie. Single handedly. Yeah.

Ben Clarkson asks, have you two followed the popular modern transition to shower gel? Or do you remain traditional soap users? I fucking it, shower gel, mate. Yeah. Yeah, I think that could be a catchphrase, couldn't it? Oh, I fucking it, shower gel, mate. No, but I can't stand it. I don't really know what you meant to do with it.

It slips out your hands, you cut it, it just goes down the plug-able basically. You've just got a little body, and then it lathers up. Do you use a sponge or something? No, you just use your hands. No, that don't. Well, you use my half a bottle.

You're the size of your body. Well, I don't use, shall I get holes down by the council? I was going to thought that. It's the soap, man. I'm a soap, man. Do you remember the baby's leather? I use dove. I use dove as well?

Do you, I mean a little block of dove, I'm thinking it probably lasts me like two months, maybe? I think so, yeah. It lathers up beautifully, the dove doesn't it? Doesn't it? Jesus, anywhere, Andrew Mukle says, mathematics, invention or discovery? Question Mark. Well, I don't really. I mean, I've always, I think it's best to,

I mean, it's a bit of, a bit more akin to witchcraft in it. I don't know what's going on with mathematics. What does he say, invention? Invention or discovery, I think it's a discovery. I think it's always been there, but, you know, human kinders as eaked it out like a tin minor or more sticking it out of the ground more numbers more brackets you know on the films where you say the numbers and the mathematics symbols going around and mathematicians head yeah like in a cloud as he's working stuff out that's to me that's mathematics mathematics never appealed to me to be honest with you

some people find it magical don't Yeah, but you could quite a simple minded man, right? True. Yeah, no, I've got quite a wooly man, but also an I know my wife was the same. The maths teacher's tended to be the bastard in our school, my school, or my schooling. I remember Black Mac was the one who was scary character so I avoided it like the play. Yeah, early maths teacher we had a company interview, Nickname was Horse Nackers and he was quite a nasty man as well. So that's what turned me off to the maths matrix. Matthew Phillips just says, could one or both of you call me a stupid fucking prick, please? Yeah, but Matthew, you're a stupid fucking prick.

What do you think Andrew? I also think Matthew is a stupid fucking prick. Now you put a bit of feeling into that, have you met Matthew? No, but I had a lot of that when we did our live shows. People calling me a shit from the front row. So I just felt like I need to give some back. Jeremy Rosenfeld says says would you rather look at an elephant up close one meter away or pet a goat.

They're both quite appealing but I would like to sit under a horse and stare up at its guts. I know that wasn't one of the choices. That's what I'd like to do. Goats have got square irises, aren't they? They always spoke to me a bit so I'd rather to do. Goats have got square irises, aren't they? Always spoke to me a bit, so I'd rather look at an elephant up close. I'd be close up on elephant, yeah, because it's just a meter away,

fasten it, yeah. Well, matter some more of them a bit later on, we might not heart the tell. What would you say, Andy, to a calorie quiz? I haven't done one for a while But I think this you know, I like it because there's some takeaway, you know people might think about the calorie intersex after listening to one of our quizzes Yeah, okay It's called buying

Crunch tasty tasty, peanut, swac, clang, bucket, oh yeah, yeah, dooyongongonging, eek, give me just a little more time, time, time, time, and I want you to order these Andy in highest to lowest calorific content, yeah? or the other way around it's the McDonald Big Tasty with bacon. The KFC mighty book it for one. A Donna Kebab regular size. Ooh, they're now. I think that calorie is thickly speaking. Does the burger come as part of a meal or is it just on its own? No, it's a tasty burger with bacon. Bacon on its own. That has got the least

number of calories. Okay. The donica bar Barb is in the middle and the mighty booker for one has the most calories. Andrew you done it. You know you're intake. There's an area that I know all about. Thank you very much. Very good. The mighty book it for one 1,235 calories. Donna kit bar regular size 1,06, basically were bacon 850. Hang on, what was the KFC one? The KFC mighty bucket for one was 1,235. Was that what I said was the highest? It was, wasn't it? Yeah. Well you done good man? You done good? It should be very, very proud, yourself. Oh, can you tell that to the Stuart at the shopping centre?

He passed that on. I'll pass it on, yeah. Might help. It might help, I don't know. Deas Stuart, today Andrew correctly guessed the calorific value of kebabs, chicken and mac for your considerations. Can he be a bit of a deer pass? A bit weak. I've had an MP3 from the Secret Soccer Superstar, remember him?

Oh! Still don't know who he is. Still don't know who he is? He masks his voice, but he gives us some insight on the world of football, so we'll play that and you'll be able to guess at the end who you think he might be. I'll give it a go, yeah. Here we go. It's always difficult when a new manager arrives at your club. The most important thing is that everyone becomes good friends really quickly. Sometimes the new manager tries to get everyone in the squad to become his friend by taking

them on some kind of outing, especially if their weather is nice. I remember one manager at a club I played for who took us all to visit a farm for the deer. We got to say some chicks that had just hatched. What I laughed at were heads off when the physio got spat on by a llama and what I got 5 pounds each to spend in the gift shop. It wasn't all fun though. We were feeding some pellets to the goats and of course you're supposed to do it with a flat hand, but the gourd keeper didn't, or I'll shorten, flat hand, flat hand, and the gourd got scared,

and bit his finger tip off, and he was out for four months while it grow back. There. Oh, who is that? I mean, it is no face to nanny. I think so yeah Not Grant led better is it I Don't know you don't know So why do you want me a guess? Well, I just don't know I know it's not like a hawks like wayside Jack was Oh, yeah, actually from Yorkshire instead, but I don't know how that works.

Did the cat- I was Wierside Jack, they didn't know. Yeah, they did the car on a day and a thing about 20 year later. And he did time for it. I bet he did, yeah. I mean, he died. Yeah, that, that were bad one. That was a bad, really naughty.

Really naughty. There was an episode of Martin's radio show, Martin from Home Under the Hammers this week on the radio. So I taped a bit of it because it was a really good show until it was a really good one. You know where he knows this around the homes of the rich and famous. Do you want to hear it Andy? I do yeah yeah okay let me just press the plan this one. You're dying me to dare outside a huge somewhat gothic mansion setting what looks like

over 40 acres of manicure with parkland. Whoever lives here must be worth a bobot too. Let's not on the door and see if anyone is at home. Hello, what do you want, how are you? And did you shoot the massive gifts before you came down the massive drive? It is, of course, it's Mr Sting. Hello Sting, and I must say, well, a beautiful house you have, a bit of a tea tea, but I like it, so can I come in? Are you harmless? You look at it? Well, you can't live here if that's what you think, inn. I have 24 hour security provided by Jordy Hate, and they will remove you and take you way in their squad car at my command for I am sting the Lord of the loot. Lord of the loot, that's the usual nommaker, but do you know what a like it, a like it, a like it, a like it, that no I'm not homeless by the way, I've got a van, and I live in it, and I have a shower at

me, ma'am, every Sunday. It's me and I are ten from arms under the hammer. Trudy said we could go and do a tour for the radio. Oh, bloody Trudy, she never tells me now, I'm meant to be riding songs today, who has brought you a better coming. So this must be the grand entrance hall. It's a double height ceiling with large, million windows overlooking the staircase. The walls are adorned with medieval instruments and a lot of different sized letter seas. What are the seas for, Sting?

Sailing ships in, ha ha ha, gets people every time that does. How would Newtrywell is that? A world mounted visual joke that requires a verbal punch like very unusual but I do. Oh like it! Quite thick carpeting you have a heisting. You have heisting. Why is that? What in case I drop my loop mid song, to dumb and the sound when Trudy is stumbling about I'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith well it's merely electric carrying wires and consoles from NASA spacecraft and also lots of fuckin' soundproofing panels cause truly here's hearing the sound when I play me loads and doles and mirrors and Moroccan foot bells and well done! Have you all been a donnike bab? Yes I had two or three last night so is this where you come for inspiration when you've been told you have

to write a song? Yes it is and I also come in here if I want to smoke a tab or eat a great big massive foreign cream cake. Would you like to hear a song I've been working on? Is it a loot pace? Yes, in hell. So what a book or something cheeky bastard? Nothing's thing I would love to hear it. Oh great, right here you go, it's lovely, right? Have a seat on that dear bed. Oh, a bed for the day, but it's for, oh, a bed, but it's for the day time only.

That's very usual, but I don't like it. Right, right, right, right, right, should you for the mouth here goes? Oh, Mr Sting was wondering around his massive halls. Chuddy was down the shop so he could play his music loud, strumming on his loot and enjoying every note, and then he was interrupted by a head chug wearing a coat. Oh, Mr. Sting, no, Mr. Sting, tidily, little Rome. Mr. Sting, it's Mr. Sting, 679, 8 hedge. Sorry, Mr. Sting, could I just stop you there? It's that, to be be honest that's a very unusual music and the truth is I just don't like it. I'd rather listen to a duck quacking inside a sack of crabs. You cheeky bastard. Get out of my

massive house before I call Jordy heat on you. How dare you insult my wonderful music. Go on, get the fuck out. Fan by me, you fucker. I bet you wouldn't play that shit if Judy was home. Yes I would, and later I don't look like a fucking fat bro! I smell like John McCrillick's bon brush. This whole house stinks! What's it built up? Fucking dogs, yes. I bet your van doesn't even got an MOT, you slack bastard.

I bet you can't even fucking drive your dosy prick. Get out your big fancy fucking duck. Don't worry, I'm going. And he slams the door and that was that. LAUGHTER Right, little banny, that one, eh? Oh, I think that might be one of my favourite moments of this entire endeavour. I've been doing this for six years.

Oh, it's wonderful. Relaxed people a little bit more. The waiter from Slaughter has done another one of his. Oh, was it ASMR? Yes, I'm saying it's not like that. Something like that and it's not like this. Help you help you in the slay people so I'll play that lightly infected puffing lips surf cheekily on one of run's used bandages kippahab of kangaroo tisaps that have kneeled to a rack before being gently tickled with an industrial blow torch. Peacock kidneys served on a bed of noodles made from boiled eap hair. A massive bowl of ox tripping Boyled up gastric juices of a panther

With some throat flies scattered on top There we are There we are Well off we go Sorry I missed it, fell asleep Yeah, been watching much telly Can't remember that I'll start watching a thing about the player boy mansion any good and he'll have known that well it's probably gonna get a bit grim but tomorrow it's interesting but yeah that'll probably be quite grim I watched the thing it's sticking with

the whole grim theme thing about a knife death in Cheshire called killed by a rich kid. Oh, I think I watched that. Yeah, that was, was it satisfying? I'm not sure. Well, you know, I don't know, there was no Jezeli. But it was, it was interesting, but at the same time time I didn't really find. So that's fine, it's probably not the right word. It's watchable and in it, because you kind of it's clear from about the second minute what's happened. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay.

I mean, I'm watching, there's a football mainly, but I even watched Glentore last night. Wow. So desperate for some football. But on is it Thursdays I think? Maybe it's Thursdays I do watch Dragon Den and the apprentice. Oh yeah been watching the apprentice with me son. It's good in it and I like watching Tuker on Dragon's Den. I haven't watched Dragon's Den for a long time. It's quite good there's a great new bloke on it called Steven, it was like young and hip and marketing, you know, a completely different generation to Tuker. Yeah. And they have the odd Barney now and I also like imagining that none of the contestants actually want Tuker to invest in them. And that adds a bit.

All the main thing I'm enjoying, Andrew, is on YouTube, it's James Higgins Open World. Right. I think he's from the northwest somewhere north, which is something. A reviews food, toilet cleaners, anything that you can get his hand on. I like this. But if you want it, the place I would start is I would go back quite a bit and every Monday does bargains of the week. Right. He has the Morrison's B&M. I mean, do it for you know, and he's fantastic because he does them in about a minute. So he goes, right, I'm trying this this peanut this peanut butter biscuits from us there you go right let's try that mmm it's a disaster three out of ten thank you for watching but his bargains of the week that's a bloody bargain

he's got his foot he's got his phone in the supermarket look at that bachelor's rice 69 paint that's a bloody bargain I'm having some of that You might enjoy him he's worth a look Oh well that's it from this yeah he'd been a pleasure Thank you pass nippers thank you pass nippers for your for your approach indulgence your generosity so see you next time thank you goodbye Goodbye!