Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 29: Make Time For Lemon Curd

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Country music, run flat tyres, Lord Bamford, Lawro at Wimbledon, the BMLC, and Martin visits Roy. (Rec: 28/6/22) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Alright Andy how are you doing man? Hello man? What you've been a glass of beer something? What's that about? Yeah I keep on trucking man. What are you doing? You've not got a message on your it's in fact it's not a t-shirt it's a sweatshirt. No it's a t-shirt it's the same one I had on last time.

Yeah it's been washed in case you were wondering and you selected it out of your wardrobe this morning yeah. Yeah yeah you've got a t-shirt and it says this this boot is made for talking Yeah, the boot the boot has got an open mouth and there's a speech bubble coming out and it just says quite quite quite Yeah, does you didn't know me was yeah? It does smile on your face. I have got a smile on my face. There's a smile in me voice as well You can probably hear now listen up Andy. Yes, man. You're big Mac and bastard, right? I'm just getting it's just getting more and more into me country music. You know what I mean?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, okay. I'm gonna sing you a song. You know by wearing our central. Let's have a bit more country music Andy Why not all right? Well, I'll say you is ticket aware 3 2 1 I'm still listening to that fucking country music trying hard to make my mindless fucking bends I've been flogging blue drink to the local children trying to help myself pay off my broken rings I've been drinking the juice from tin hot dogs I've been down the local tip a thousand times looking for a lady who likes a cowboy and also likes her hot dog, you fucking rind I'm not pork, porky, I'm not bright as a spark

I'm Andy Dork, Dork, son, I'm kissin' on shadows Shadows in the sun I've been on the beach at Rokka looking for winkels I've been collecting dog darts on the A19 I keep hoping all day for a fuckin' miracle I've wakin' up to find a'm wearing skinny jeans Come on, I'm there I've got punk, punky I've got a rider to spot I'm the

Say that's country music and the that's country music Andy that's country music. It's finest. You loved that very much once again thanks to the pop star francturna Yeah, I find the music for us very much so there was no country in Western Glastonbury and sorry just to No, I watched everything and there wasn't any country in Western Those a couple of glasses that were a bit country, but they didn't have the heft you know like I've got no the word were in cowboy hats. Not oh well you need all that shit. Did you watch your glass numbery Andy? I watched quite a bit of glass and brief I'm still catching up on it because I was doing all the stuff

I was actually on Friday night when glass and briefs first on I was at the The rap party for the film I've been making. That was that was a lot of fun. You just trying to get into this showbiz club aren't you? Well I was given 10 credits for the showbiz center when I arrived at the rap party. Go well you need 100 credits before you can get in as a right. I built them up though, I'll build them up slowly instead of late so I didn't say glass-pouring on the Friday night but I watched bits like on catch-up but I watched I loved McCartney said on Saturdays. Absolutely loved that. I loved the fact that he just did loads of stuff that

nobody would have ever guessed he was gonna to do. I think he just basically randomly, he had to get a random selection machine from his back catalogue, he was playing the post-cord lottery theme and then he's playing 1985 and all just great stuff. There was good stuff quite emotional, wasn't it? I felt this year was the first year where I only knew about maybe 3% of the people performing. I mean I'm an old fella obviously I wouldn't. I tried Abel look sniff around and I liked a band group called the Abel lunches. You might like that look at that. The Abel lunches yeah their first hit was about 2001 I think. It's a very very new modern group point that we get into there.

Yeah, I like the other lunches. I watched, I really like Crowded House. Crowded House, we'll call it. Yeah, it's got some good tunes. Listen to what's so lighted Crowded House, Paul McCartney. Yeah, I'm. Did you watch Kim Llandrick?

Kendrick Lamar? Kendrick Lamar, I recorded him because I was watching Pet Shop Boys, but I'm gonna watch Kendrick Lamar tonight After I've watched Love Island. I've heard he put on a good show. Yeah, do you know what I enjoyed most was That Jordy fella some fender some fender. I just enjoyed it. He loved being there. It was great Yeah, big fan of this podcast partner some fender. Is he? Oh, well for Sam listen up, do you like room flat tires mate? I don't know what? Would you want to think of room flat tires? Room flat tires with the owner Glastonbury. Very good, no room flat tires. What are they?

Forget it. The BMW do them a lot. The tires that if they get a punchy you can still drive on them. How the fuck am I meant to know about what BMWs do? Look at us. Okay I'll leave it what do you want from me anyway? No, go on tell us why. Well I like the idea of them yeah. I got a bit of a grudge Andy because I went on to the drive and the wife's car had a flat E. Right. That's a good thing to say in it flatly. Oh man, you've got a flatly. And so I took it down the garage, which is only about 150 yards away, yeah. Only to find out that because I'd driven it.

Yeah. Only those matter of yards, the tires now defunct. How flat was it? Was it proper flat? It was middle for a diddle, you know, it was sad. Right. Like a medium soft pillar. So it needs a new tire basically or as the whale fucked. No, the whale actually the whale was

fucked, but that's another story. Listen up. Listen up. It's great to be alive in it. No, the run flat section was shit, but I didn't know that you know knowledge of run flats whatsoever. I thought you might be, I was going to say, is the garage selling me the truth? Could I actually have used the tire? Cause it's on me, man, but you don't, you have no idea, do you? You never know, you never know with the garage. Sometimes I text, we can't at the garage.

And then a couple of weeks later, some of us goes along with it. And I wonder, I wonder, that's all I'm seeing. Yeah, but it's good to be alive, and the end of it you've got, I've had an attitude. Oh, it's good to be alive, that's the best way. Listen up what you've got for me. I've got some questions from my kids. Go on then. Do you want them? From my quads. Go, Calum, Connor,

um, Jic and um, Mike. Um, yeah, so they've been put some questions to you. There are quite a mortar and related as well, weirdly. Where are you? That, isn't it? Nothing about the run flat tyre. Yeah, run flat tyre. Look into it, Andy. We'll discuss it on another occasion. We'll do a run flat tyre special. Yeah, questions from the quads number one. Uncle Bob, as they weirdly call you, Uncle Bob, when you're driving on a dual carriageway or motorway, do you like to stay in the outside lane the whole time? Or are you not a cunt?

Ooh, there's a grudge, we're a bit grudgy this morning, mortering grudges, I like to stick to the centre lane. Pfft! So, I like to go on the inside lane as often as possible because it's almost kind of like being smug. Yeah. No, I'm enjoying the inside lean at the moment, Andy. I've got, it's a mental thing, psychological thing in it, being happy you're going 55, you

know, it's all right. It's an edge thing, I think, as well, maybe. Yeah, slightly fear the speed. There's no hurry, it's good to be alive. If I said, do you fear the sweet, would you no hurry, it's good to be alive. If I said do you fear the Swede, would you think of the vegetable or the nationality? Do you fear the Swede? I would think the nationality?

The nationality. Do you fear the Swede? I don't, the minute no. I fear the Austrians. I even though I'm actually referring to the turnip type vegetable. Oh, I don't fear that at all, no, not at all. I fear the Austrians, I'll say that, I don't know why, what I do. Yeah. I fear a

Austrian with a mustache and a thick thigh. Yeah. What's he got? What he building there, you know, in that shed. What is long-term agenda? Yeah, another one. when you're parking in a designated bit a.js supermarket Do you try to make sure you're parked right up against either of the white lines? Or are you not a massive wanker? Oh Listen to you be kids not me. What do they say take a chill pill kids? I suppose it's not easy being one being quads is it the Do you know what I'm a little bit obsessed with getting me positioning right, and a little bit?

Me too. I walk away from the car and I see that it's about maybe anything over five inches out and I have to go back. I can't live with myself. Yeah, it's a social responsibility, isn't it? Finally, a final question from the kids. Uncle Bob, when you're buying petrol, do you only pull up at a pump that is on the same side as your petrol tank cap?

Are you not a fucking idiot? Pffft. Listen up, Andy, you might not believe this. You might think I'm pundering to you, but I'm a little bit obsessed with doing the exact reverse. Yeah. So you can use the long reach, the long reach horse. Even if it's not long reach, I like to use the long reach, the long reach horse, even if it's not long

reach, I like getting it just right. So, you know, it's in line with the petrol cap. And I can't remember failing up till now. But you're right, some people just want to touch them, will they? No, more ons. Fair enough. Thanks for answering them questions. Okay, well, you've got a bit of a grump on Andy, but do remember it's good to be alive There's a lot of script a bit alive. Not stuff going on. You know you've enjoyed it What's going on? You're back in this championship with your team you striped team. Yeah, yeah talking to 40 Yeah, what at the moment an apologies to both all middle of the sun and fans at the moment I've got us finishing six as finishing seventh and eighth

Really? Yeah, I'm just hoping to take that. I'm waiting to look for some transfers, you know, we might, we might improve on that. Both of us. I was in a little tearo-mandy. Last week was doing me fishing show up in Yorkshire. A little tearo-m in Pickering. So I was talking about Pickering with me mate on the night. Yeah, so that's a nice place to be in a little tearo in it. So I suddenly become aware what a chance is this that the person in front of me in this little tearo is none other than Lord Patrick Bamford the leads United States that he is there getting himself some refreshments

obviously I listen then I've got a sir pickering does feel like a battery bumper where's your fancy gone and Patrick Perkling? I'm not pickering again I want to go into steam change anyway so the lady I'll tell you how it went, the lady says, I'll read chalk, what can a fetch me?

Can I have a chance? Was she from the nightly century? I'll try that again. Oh, great, alright, chalk, what can a fetch me? I don't know where she's from, she was an odd one. Can I have a chance, a choir of Huffy Coffee, medium with Huxley's shot of Huxley's dress-o and Finham and Finkels? You know, that bumbles and me, uh, bumbles and me there, flour, can you repeat that?

A Huffy Coffee, medium with Huxley's shot of Huxley's dress-o and Finham and Finkels. And what's, uh, Yorkshire y'all? with Haksha Shat of Haksbetho and Finham and Finkels. What's Yorke Yorke? What's Finham and Frinkles? That's a suba said. What Finham and Frinkles? No, that's not right. Yorke, come on, Andy, what's Yorke? Did you grow up, me, Yorke? What's Finham and Frinkles? What Finham and Frinkles?

That's not bad. Finnamun Fincles, Dusty Finnamun for the top of the Fathi of coffee. Solid chukki just sounds like gobble de gulk to me. Oh, it's simple. You put a hot spesso in the cap, then takes some milk and fathi tap with a fathi pack. Pour it on top of the hex-paste and then it's a fuffie coffee. When it's assembled you think of some phinim and dust on and then hey presto, fuffie coffee with phinim and finkles. Sorry maybe it's just me being a bomb cake but I have no idea what they are on about. Well Andy I thought I should help out at this point so I said I think what he wants to do is a medium cappuccino with cinnamon sprinkles is that right Lord Bamford yes I believe you're right a fluffy coffee medium of extra short of hacks best serve cinnamon

pickles all right greatly do you want any cake or piercetries with that have you got any fluffy cake no sorry never even heard of that. What about lemon weather's cake? Never heard of that neither. What about a crescent? Nope, never heard of that. That's the other assistant who's from Somerset and the O'Replied then.

Yeah. Oh, okay. What about a ruby-wuffin? Nope, never heard of that. Oh, will you know shit, Peds? Nope. Never mind. I'll just have the foffy coffee with phidamins wrinkles. And I've asked you when to make his drink.

And it was a sharematch, Annie, because as he carried his coffee to the table, he banged his knee on one of them little high chairs and his foffy coffee spilled all over his jobpers. So their reckon is going to miss pre-season and the first six matches. It sounds like a nasty one for him that. There's a nasty pro in it. Interesting thing to spill your coffee on though, isn't it, and the jobpers. Jobpers. But again, not unsurprising for Patrick Bump, but I guess.

Yeah. So that was a nice little bit, a little slab of Yorkshire life, I think. Yeah. Lovely. I've got, I haven't got a song yet, but I've got a bit of music. Okay. A little bit of the music for you. Will you kind of suggest something the song could be about, maybe, for next time? Okay. Here we go. It's got a bit of a wartime vibe. I would think it's about, I think maybe you want to look into Mushroom Farm in for that particular song. A son of a Mushroom Farm, and I'll attempt that for you for the. Okay. We've got Mart Lawson's doing some commentary. Oh lovely. But he's commentating on again, it's for the Panama Broadcasting Company, but he's doing Wimbledon for them. So,

well I have a little bit of that. No, see what's being going on. You're not going to be any throwing though, is it? No Fred does not know, here we go. Good serve there, long shot. Fucking that's going to be a bit of a rally. No it's not. My brother-in-law is buying a house, he's concerned that it is single glazed. I said to him, what was climate change? I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm not an expert though. I'm going to hit the net there. And that's all we get. I shouldn't have come up for now. I wish you'd make a blog rack. I couldn't't listen for a long time, but there you go.

If that's all you've got, that's what you've got. Look all back over to a later on if you want. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain-alice? Yes, we deliver those. Galtenders know, but chicken tenders, yes.

Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Can we have some of the questions from the, from the past neppers that have come in? I think, I think, I think, that this is a good selection this week. Or maybe it's just the mode I'm in, I don't know,

but anywhere, I'll start off. Claire says, what is your favorite kind of monkey? Um, ooh, I mean, I'm a bit scared of monkey. I worked with one once and I absolutely ship myself with the chimps, so I'm not that keen on the chimps. Right, what was that project on? Was that when you were a bin man? Tee hee hee hee.

No, it was, uh, smell of Reeves and Mortimer, I had to, you know, we'd used clever tricks so that I was suddenly sat next to a chimper other than, than Jim. And, um, to be honest with you, I shit out of it. I need a very, very, very strongly, little pockers. The, um, I don't like baboons, I've seen baboons every

at your first off, don't they? Yeah, I think they're all kitabal or rip in your face often, giving the right circumstance. Even a little spider monkey summit? They could, I think, yeah, but they're quite worried. I just, my favorite kind is the happy monkey. Oh nice.

Yeah, because, you know, it's great to be alive, isn't it? But calm, I mean, I presume you've spent hours and hours watching chimps attack people on YouTube of your endy. Yeah, I know you've suggested one of two things like that in the past. You know, I mean maybe it's a day a month he's best for you. I'm keen on the rantics but not on them you know what I mean. Only on the television, not in real life, right? Fair enough. Some Jennings asks, what was the last time you had a jam tart? Well, I can't even remember.

I can't even remember some. I can't remember either. I can tell you this much, I always preferred the red ones to the dark purple or the yellow ones. I don't know if that helps in any way. The yellow ones are the yellow ones. I don't know if that helps in anywhere. I... The yellow ones are the... Lemon flavor. One of the lemon... Lemon curd.

I think they're just a general lemon. There might be an orange one as well. It's not so bad, but... I have an ad lemon curd for a long... I wonder if it's still around. Yeah. I always have a... I do have quite a bit of lemon curd, Andy. Do you? It's one of those things that hits me every like four times a year. I need to have lemon curd, you know.

Time for lemon curd. Yeah, a bit like a bov rule. That, that, do you think that could be today's episode title? Time for lemon curd. Yeah. Make time for lemon curd. Matthew Goodson says, who has the largest head both in size and weight, Andrew or Robert?

Well, I know, I know man's a biggie. I've seen down the showbiz centre, what people are encouraged to do is take, when you get cast's taken of your head, they'll put them on a shelf and that. And I'm in third position. Really? Yeah, behind Jeremy Clarkson must be a bullfusy. It isn't there but the the the biggest one at the moment is Eddie is ad. Right. And then after that I think it might be Richard Osman. Not sure. Oh that's a big all-head. And then it's me. I've got a big head and the eye. Do you reckon you have? I'll bow to your superior knowledge I think, probably you. Okay, well that's a good answer in it, quite efficient.

How many credits do you need at the showbiz centre to get your head done in a cast? Well you don't get the cast done there Andy, if you have one done on a set of a film it's just thrown in the skip. Right. You know, you can take it and a lot of people take, either it's just thrown in the skip. Right. You know, you can take it and a lot of people take it because it's a bit of fun, you know what I mean? I didn't get me to get ticked as a cast in the film that I was in recently.

Well, you probably weren't doing prosthetics, were you, you're ugly or fucking enough as you look as you are, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's fair enough. I'm a lot now announced what the film is. Do you want to know what the film is? I'm intrigued, yeah. Go on, tell us. It's directed by Ken Lodge. Oh, serious then. One of the greatest out British directors of all time.

I'm gonna be a cartoon or something. Yeah, or maybe you'll road safety advert or something like that. So, like that, Yeah, public service information. Stranger danger with you was the stranger. That that that. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I assume would be when I got the email, but no, I was a. Can you remember your line? Our line. So you don't remember one. I'm not going to give too much away. So no, because also because there's a very strong chance that they've been cut from the final edit. So I'm going to look stupid if I see other line and then it's not even in the film. But it's out next year. The film is called The Old Oak, which is the name of the pub that's

based in and I play a character who is a little bit of a racist. So, there you go. And I thought of you, first of all, that's interesting, isn't it? Min Ingram asks, what flerv of crisps is the optimum for a crisp sandwich? I didn't put crisps in sandwiches, I would imagine the best ones chasing onion, Andrew. I would say probably something vinegar, I reckon. But maybe it's like macaws, you know, a hefty crisp. Is it something you do Andy? No, I don't do crisp sandwiches. Yeah, we're not the right people to ask unfortunately. Last one for now, Matthias, I think it's pronounced like that, says my brother

in laws, Dickhead Mith, reckons he can spare flies out of the air with a sewing needle. Do you think it's possible or is he full of shit? I think he's filled himself with shite, honey. The, um, yeah, you know, have you seen the grace and speed at which a fly can avoid that sort of thing? Completely. You're flight can just go to random, random speeds and directions. Yeah, a big hand holding a needle ahead of it, it's missing it. No, no chance. I use a spray and I do quite like spray in a fly, not spraying, spraying the area, actually

pursuing the fly and trying to get it right in the face. Just to make sure you get the job done back. I do enjoy that. Do you want me to do something called the British Managers Lunge Club? Andy. Yeah, yeah, we'll have that, yeah. So once again, big thanks to the Folk Infinity Rocket Plastics, they've uploaded an MP3 for me of the latest summer general meeting of

the British Managers Launch Club which was held in a private dining room at the El Shabri Hotel in Dubai. Wow. So the tape starts off with Big Sam. Big Sam Aladai's welcome ladies and gentlemen to our summer swery. I've dare being taken to liberty of ordering gold-plated beef burgers served with Albra Hemi-Freet. Steve McLaren interrupts. Oh, sorry, I'm so sorry Sam. What's Albra Hemi? Ostrich nostrils now, I'm pleased to announce that largely due to the efforts of Mr. Steve Brose. Our annual accounts are showing a profit of 40 million quid. Not bad for a bunch of us being dinosaurs, I think you've got some good news to bring us.

Yes, I have boss. Sorry, I've got a bit of a fruggin' interrupt. Myself and Casper have taken up the post of head coach at the Manchester United. Wow, very nice and watch your plan, watch your actual approach going to be, he's in a good mode. Well first things the carpeting in the admin offices. I'm going to have it replaced with a 12-patton wool-wasted with an extra tape pile. I'm going to install fun and laughter chocolate bar bending machines throughout the con courses. And I'm going to have candy floss rainbows fixed onto the ceiling of the dressing rooms. It's, um, Casper getting paid because, you know, obviously, we'll want to cut it for years.

No, don't be da deaf, Casper hates money. He prefers to be paid in precious love and chocolate bubbles because he's a cup of kindness and cream. That's all very nice Steve, but come on, what's your exploitation strategy? I'm going to insist that all forwards and midfielders play out of position. They've been doing that for years. Yes, but Casper's going to put a charm on Ronaldo that makes his neck swell up so he can't head the ball and we have a special plan for Fernandez Bruno we're going to fix him up with the fat lass or Bruno Fernandez cups off with the fat lass can't make it to training

fans the nights to training yeah all right what what's your exit strategy well I'm hoping to be bottom-fired by Christmas and with a bit of look panic sets in and the call and you big Sam, you sat me, should grab grab as a quick eight mil, I'm on a five year era. Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money,

money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money What about you, Stade Bruce? You are on a roll at the moment. I'm just going to do a straightforward destroyer exit, you know. Spend the parachute payment on some old shite. Complain, I'm not being backed and blame the commitment of the squad, you know. I need to be out bad January like cause that's when I launched my new e-beer shop selling electric bikes and raw equipment to India. Interesting, I've had a chat with Sean Dice and he fancies know with the West Brom job I should be available. I'd like a shot with them because they've got a stripy kit. I've never managed to stripy club and Casper loves stripes. Listen, let's just say how things develop

should we Steve. Now Mark, Mark, Mark Hills, how's it going at Bradford? No, I'm not even building them. Speak up a bit, Mark. Okay. Well, I'm not really bothered about the football really. I'm just there for easy access, you know, to the textile industry, and developing a new range of well-encatsuits, you know, for the fellas.

And I think they're going to be huge. So they'd have to be huge if they're going to fit me. Oh, fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty. Fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty. And they all pat their bare valleys. I'm hoping to be top three, you know, by Christmas then, fuck off to a underperforming championship team, probably Burnley or West Brom. Hold on, I'm up to that job.

Well, we can both go, then it's doubly bubbly, isn't it? Nice plan. What about you, Neil Warnock? Have you got a final sting left in your tail? I'm not sure, really Sam. You know, I'm deaf as A. Perth, really. Nice plan. What about you Neil Warnock? Have you got a final sting left in your tail? I'm not sure really Sam. You know I'm deaf as A.P.E.E.R.E.E.E. Apart from when it comes to cash, you know. I might do a quick hope than chalk

towards the end of next season really, maybe it Bristol City. I've always fancy taking them down really. It all sounds very catch, cash rich and bad for the beautiful game. Oh look, here come the gold plated burgers, tuck in. Mani, mani, mani, mani, mani, mani, mani, mani, mani, I was just going to say that I think, I think your castle finds will be curious to hear stay in the Clarenceys, never managed to straight be team before. Yeah, he obviously didn't.

He blocked it out. Er, we've got back over to the Laurel, a bit more tennis. Oh great, I like that. From Mark Larranson, see what's going on over there then. It's ready to serve now, I think it comes. Oh, that's rather fast. Yeah, I think he's won the game there. You know what I hate, I hate it when I'm selling it to Card Boot sale and it's electrical item item you're trying to sell

Someone asks you if it works cos it fucking works Even if it didn't I wouldn't tell you God I think they're having a rest now They both sat down That's all we've got from him. Okay, but that was nice to hear from him. It's a very exciting cover. Yeah, I Don't feel as though he's quite up the speed with the game. No, it doesn't sound like it. Oh What's behind the door? Yes, oh no, yes, oh no

What's behind the door? I don't know. I don't fucking know Imagine a door in front of you, Bob. Yeah, nothing. I wanted to think about what's behind that door. I'm gonna give you three things that are behind that door. You gotta tell me, quite simply, what'd you go through the door and have a closer look at the things.

Here we go, first thing. It's a scale model of the Swiss Alps that's just the right size for you to clamber about on safely. No thank you Andy. Really? I've been to model villages and that it gives me, it depresses me. No thank you. Wow. Second thing, the 2022 World Cup final is on in the room. No, no, yeah. Yeah, thank you. On the be known, you know it's a spoiler, isn't it? Well, that's the thing though.

No, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, right? Okay, I want to be a doctor who, therefore, I want to do it, right? Finally, have you ever been asked to be a doctor who? No, never. That's weird. Do you know, kind of, sort of, be a listar, I think they'll get on? I went a bit of a tariff, I was slagging it off.

I'm at the word, I've got round. Probably, the showbiz center. Number three, it's Acabilke. He's got a feature length topic bar in his mouth and he's offering it to you to aid from the other end so that you meet in the middle, but he says he definitely won kiss you. He is of course shit first. Well do you know what Andy I wasn't gonna go in there till you said he's shit-faced

yes please I'll go and meet shit-faced hacker anytime in the day. Good, good. I recorded his radio show you know where he goes and looks at the celebrities houses. Yeah. I'll just play it, shall I? That's with the theme tune, obviously. I've got it. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, ma, tin, ma, ma, ma, ma, tin, ma, ma, tin,

ma, ma, tin, tin, tin, tin, tin, tin, 10, 10, 10, 10. Hello everyone and welcome along to the show. I'm standing on the gravel driveway of a Victorian semi-detached house in Hertfordshire and about to enter by the garage door which is a little bit unusual but I think I like it, I like it, I do, yes I like it, so here we go. And there he is, none other than X Crystal Palace, Watford, an England project leader, Mr. Roy Hartchen. Hello Roy and da da da da, da boom, da boom, da da da da, how you right? Good don't you think you've visited my hubble about? I have delighted to work with you today. So I'm told that I'm only allowed to see the garage. Why is that right? Why is that restriction being put on me, Mr Martin from Holmes under the hammer?

being put on me, Mr Martin from Honds under the hammer. It is very simple, I spend most of my time in here now. My wife is the man of the rest of the house. Fred Christine has been staying with us for a significant period of time, and I don't like a disperper when they're busy doing their needlework and word games that's such a f- I see Thunder after the rain, right? I really do. Now you've got a large table here covered in what looks like hundreds of little kitty figurines. I like them, I really do. But to be honest, I'm not sure why. Are you running some kind of eBay toy shop and what are we going to do about Maria? Hey, back toy shop. Can you stick a reach for your maid? This is the nerve-sensitive

by war-weather operation. So you're what? War-weather. Waa-ba. No, war-weather. Waa-ma. No! Woooooh whaah ma! Waaah ma! Woooooh whaah ma! Oh what hebs! I suppose you better try and explain it to me because it looks like a fiddly old glow-de-tum tittery.

TOO TITLEY! It's a table top miniature war game! You fucking freak! Although the gameplay is mostly based on medieval warfare in a corporate fantasy element such as wizards, its own magical spells. Well, I must say it looks very complicated, like, you know, a complicated knot, a wiring loom. Now, tell me, what are those bunk beds for in the corner? Well, the top bunk is mine, and the bottom bunk is for any of my former players who want

to come over for a walk over sleep over. Really? And do any of them actually come to stay? Well, Christian Bentech, I was supposed to come last Saturday by Changesmide because Greston Freemason telly. Is that it? Oh, Geoff, we slap.

We're going to just come in over for two nights in the summer, but it depends on his holidays. Jeff, we slap what in the usual name for a man, but I do like it. I do like it. You tried to take a piss mate. Look, I thought I was coming to look at a unique home, but this is just some kind of massive kennel for an overgrown child to play with his joys. You look well look at it it hasn't even got a toilet.

You're bloody murder toilet guy get out of my garage. I don't even want to be in your garage. Oh good because you're sticking the place right up with your rotten dog breath. You can't even smell my breath because the stink of your own sweaty tits is overpowering. Tits? You look like a set of tits of food kicked down the hill. Well your hairstyle looks like a 17th century lester. Your hairstyle looks like a dead squig. Squig, what a squig when it's at all.

It's a war-ever thing. It exists in the orchid o-system. Did your mom smirk before you were born? That one you saw stunted. Yeah, what? I'm tall. You, you just think you're tall because you stand in next to your wanky little space dolls. Oh, get out of my coat. Don't worry, I am.

Getting out of your fucking garage is stinks of owls shit. Oh, that's where the episode ended. Little argument between them there, Andy. Oh, got a bit of heat, I did not. Yeah, a bit of heat, did you? Mmm. Oh, I mean, Jeffrey Schlup is a very interesting name. I've got to say that though. Schlup. It is an interesting name. Andy, I've got to go. How does that feel?

Okay. Yeah. No problem. We've done enough. I think I have. Thank you once again everyone for listening. I'm sorry about the run flat's conversation. Yeah. I'm not going to leave it in. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Okay. We've learned about lemon curd and that's some other things. That's the main thing. Goodbye everyone. See ya. Thank you.