Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 33: Norwegian Jumper Hunt

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

A country music remix, a lunch club update, a showbiz centre visit, resin bonded driveways, air frying, gut health, and nonsense pottery. (Rec: 27/10/22) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Alright Andy. Hello there Bob, how are you? I'm not too bad like your teacher, protecting survived. So what were you protecting yourself from? And the furniture of your survival going to look like? Protecting yourself from anything that could jeopardize me survival. I guess it's a universal message I think.

We all want to be protected and we all um create survival. So I thought it would be nice to put it out there as a message for the world. So is that pro like pro military thing you know? You do not recognize it. it's from the 1980s. Oh it was. It's from the nuclear attack warning program that the government issued. Yeah.

And it told us all about how to camp out under the stairs in the event of an attack. Yeah. And frankly, because the Hollywood nicked some of it on the 12 inch of two tribes. Oh well, that's fascinating information. I could see it more. I could go on if you'd like me to. No, because- Why were other subjects of music? Is there any music you've been listening to recently

pop? Andy, I've been needy not- it's got that neck deep in country music still. Yeah. Man, I just can't shake it, so if you could play the little track, I've got that neck deep in country music still. Yeah? Man, I just can't shake it so if you could play the little track I've gone and written another song, you know. Oh, why not then, okay, here we go. I've been listening to that country fucking music with a lukewarm Greg State I got blue-dring sweat drops dripping down the forehead Oh Lord won't you please buy me a chicken wrap I've been up all night singing country park music

And rubbing my balls on the block of ice cold lard My temple veil is bulging like the frogs throat And my local pub just told me that I'm barred I'm not honky I'm not bright as a spark I'm anti-dose In the fuckin' dark I've been injecting my mind for country music Each song moves me more than the one before If only I could buy myself a banjo But there's only nineteenp in the kitchen drawer

I'm not part-home key I'm not proud as a spark I'm handy door So I'm pissing on shadow Shadow In the sock and down In the song Would you like to do a yehaw or can I do a yehaw? You go on you can do you can love one in yeah

Very nice do you want a name Andrew? I've got some choices for me. I've got some choices Yeah, but the first thing I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna throw me cat out of this room. Oh yeah okay. Live cat removal here on the podcast today. Possibly the first time we've had this. I get back to myself. Off to the studio. Off on an adventure. Yeah I've got to, I've got to try Fieranti, you could be Carlos Enchalada. He lived in Gateshead with his brother as a large Mexican moustache and once claims to have thrown a fish taco at Lecata Mall. You know what you think of that. Pantyo Espadrilles, Carlos's brother, Cleansharvan, regrets changing his name from Ron Bell,

and the Coracle, his five hearts beat in a circular motion and his ass is carpeted. Oh! Any interest? Is the carpet an ass external or interior? It's externally carpeted, yeah. Externally, okay. It's on with adhesive, adhesive not to intact. I'll tell you that much that's better That would be for a really comfortable sit down the carpet at us. Yeah, am I able to run Bell? That was they mentioned in the description there of the second one. Yeah, you can be pants your espadrilles

But in as originally I want to be Ron Bell. I are on Are we doing all right? I mean Ron Bell. Yeah, you can be pants your espadrilles, but in as a original. No, I want to be Ron Bell. I a Ron. Are we doing? Alright, I mean Ron Bell. Yeah, that's why I just said I a Ron. How are you doing? Alright, okay. Thanks very much. I've got three group names that you can be the lead singer of. Okay. First up is and you can tell me what kind of music they you think they'll play, if you like the idea of it. I like it. This one's temporary bus stop. temporary bus stop, I don't want to be the singer, and I think they're a bit sort of retro jazz funk maybe. Yeah, maybe, yeah. Speaking of the word funk, we've got dial F for funk, as the second one. No, I think that's just a funk group isn't it's got a bit It's just a funk group modern contemporary funk. No, thanks. Oh

Final one unexploded bath bomb No, that's in the unit college by indie. I think they'd be quite angry. Yeah So thanks for the offer Andy. No, but I don't think a sing for any of them groups. Oh man okay speaking of music and speaking of country, rockin music, I just had a wav sent through from John Omsk. Oh there you go. Of course is the, yeah, is the renowned DJ so I'll have a quick listen to that and we'll see what he says. Hi there and hello I'm Bon Shons, I am John Armsk, DJ Pioneer, Audio Ship Shifter and 45% shareholder in one of the world's leading providers of Tuggetith. I'm proud to reveal I have bowed to public demand and remix the song Country Fucking Music

from the podcast at vertical mince I stripped the tracks elements down to their component parts on my living room floor soaked them in purge of for 36 hours and then reassembled them while blindfolded here is a small segment of the finished remix. Not bad for John. That track will be released on the world stage on 23rd November, but only one copy will be issued on a tiny USB stick that will be placed in a C-shell somewhere on the Iberian Peninsula. I am John Amsk, try me out. Well, there we go.

I think I might try out a bit more Amsk. Where's he from? I'd like to hear the entirety of that track. Yeah, that was enough for me. Where's he from? We don't know, I suppose. He's just from the world. He belongs to the world, yeah. Just like grass or sand or whatever. But birds. Yeah. So, Infinity Rocket Plastics got in touch with me because they're hot rocket aid is some

something like that. A zoom call between three members of the British managers, lunch, club Andy, Sam Alladai, Sean Dai and Steve Bruce. Sam and Steve were both on their yachts and Dai was in what looks like the bookies from what I could tell. I'll play that for you, if you're ready. Yeah. Sam starts off as always.

Welcome brothers and can I first of all give a huge call of appreciation to Mr. Steve Bruce for a beautifully executed destroyer exit at West Bromish Albion. You really are a master of your traits and two million quid for the lunch club coffers. Manny, manny, manny, manny, manny, manny! Talk us through it, Steve. Ah, well, just the standard clown out, basically, you know, sold a couple of players who I realized knew what I was up to, complained about squad depth and quality to undermine morale. Based me tactics on that mediocre Preston side of 1967, you know, and I just generally fucked about on eBay by intact gadgets and that. When I should have been learning about the opposition. To be honest, one of the

easiest I've ever done wanted a quick exit so I could take me yacht to the med for the World Cup. Excellent man, in fact great man. Where do you think you might pop up next? I have got my eye on others field. Some time around Easter next year, keep them up and sign a nice long term or out again by Christmas for Turkey on me yacht. What about you Sam? You've been out for a while, what are you up to? I'm sniffing around a couple of Middle Eastern national teams and some African coastal nations somewhere with a good marine of her meyot, you know, probably a

consultancy with cash diverted to the Kermans, need to be free by February, maybe March next year so I can go and do a rescue and regression at Leeds or Lester. I like the sound of that sound. You might have competition for those jobs though from Mr Dice here. Be a great opportunity for his first destroyer exit. Sean Dice. Sean Dice. Yeah, be honest, I was opening for the West Broadjob.

But they went for a foreign. I'm definitely circling that Leeds job. Rekaraka squeeze a three year deal out with them. Keep them up, extend it to five, get Chris Warden fill badly in, watch them plummet. So big go for a five mil pay off. Yeah, that's all right. Was that good enough, Dach?

That's great. Yeah, I thought I was like, I was in the room with them. There you have a big club for your first cloud now. Maybe you should have taken the borough job. They're a soft, short touch, nice gentle start. I did try, but they wanted a manager with a good head of hair, so obviously eight man curry got the job. Oh you, Sam, you must be missing the pies or in the piss and the gutter in and the hard standing down at Burnley. Every day,

the only other club with a similar vibe is Stoke, And I've spoken to Alex Nailer, reckons he should be gone by February. He's building a Spanish style villa in Molller, and needs to supervise the building works. So with a bit of luck, I can slide in there and do a stabilising die. Well, I say some, I wish you both the very best with those plans. Sorry, I've got to go now. The arms dealer on the next door yacht is serving up some hot dogs in a conch. So I am not missing that. Oh, money, money, money, money, money, money. And they lick their lunch club badges live on Zoom. So they're still clutting it. Poor old Westbrown. That Westbrom with Steve Bruce, that just went exactly as everyone expected.

Yeah. To the deer, I think. Does he work again? Probably. I think there's always one more in them. Do you know what I mean? There's always one more. When you're not expecting it, they'll come out of nowhere.

I mean, Aladai, like he says there there he thinks he's finished, but he's not. Some will call for him. Yeah, maybe he's Duke Bound for Leicester, for the last six games of next season. Yeah, that could be something like that. Yeah, yeah. I've just come back, and we're just having a chat now, aren't we? I'm just not long back from Norway, right up the north of Norway, the Lafotton Islands,

absolutely stunning it was. And I, uh, I don't know what they're like. I just went, you know, to see what's going on. Yeah. And, um, I, when I was young, I had a jumper, there was me dad's jumper and I kept it till I was about 30 and then I lost it and I was always wanted it again.

Well, I went to a jumper shop in a little town called Scorch, Scorch, or something. It's like one of those black and white Norwegian fisherman jumpers and a place was like old fashion and he was just jumpers everywhere like the aisles to separate things off were you know columns of jumpers So I was macking me under and around and I came across It's little I've got I'd have to say not being a fellow a little hobbit bloke Sat behind what was basically a school desk to be honest very large head and he's wearing football shorts desk to be honest very large head and he was wearing football shorts. A lot of them do up there that you know they don't feel the same the feel the cold at all and I notice it had a like a knee

brace around his knee you know those sort of carbon fiber things with little belts like you're tightening around you need to get support. So I was with the ones that's got a little circle in the front for the knee to peep through. Yeah I think it did yeah, but it's all adjustable and it's all about support, you know So I asked him if he had this black and white drive and had a photo of himself wearing it and he laughed his head off like you do like that's that's for a go on mr Lobby's count clown cards, but But then you got up walked off without saying a word and he came back a couple of minutes later With exactly the jumper I wanted and I asked if I could try it on he loved it me again actually but in a friendly enough way

You know like I'd say do you know like I'd say to him it shit like Where if you can't beat him join him? You might go yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a bit like that. You don't have to be mad at the work here, but it helps. Yes, and you know, yeah, good one. So I went beyond the little curtain that was in the corner and took me jacket off. And suddenly the curtain was pulled open.

And there it was, stood there with a great big wailing hook in one hand and his knee brace in the other he says, take off your hiking trousers and raise one leg onto the chair. Well, Andy what could I do but comply? You know he's got this wailing hood a huge head. Yeah, you know, and it trapped. I didn't feel like I was with the one old in the cards, you know what I mean Took all the pants off and that I raised me foot onto a chair and he backed out now inside this knee brace into your inus And yeah, no he handed me the knee brace and then he put down the wailing hook and started to eat a cream horn So that nice nice and then he put down the wailing or can start to eat a cream horn. So nice, cream cake to eat in it during a couple of minutes.

When you watch something like that, yeah. I asked him if he would prefer it if I put the cream horn at me, Aris. And he said, Jesus, I some sort of sickle. Now start feeding the new basin. Well, just at that moment, and a big blob of cream fell from the bursts of his cream horn under the floor and he bent over it,

wiped it up with his finger. So I took me chance kicked him, full in the face and I ran past him. But as I did so he grabbed me ankle, but I was able to pick up the whirling hook and I started really like mashing, mashing his tits up with the point the end of it, you know? And he said, You're brave! Yeah, he, where he soon gave up, grabbed me trousers and I'm out of the shop. So I wrote, really relieved a bit further up the street.

I ran into the mayor of the town, you know, the town mayor is on the Earth Street. And he was eating the chocolate shuban outside the butchers so I thought I should tell him what had happened and when I did he burst into laughter and said but you got any done my jeez vans could them which I later found that means shopholders you got to fuck with love them So did you think that story was a bit like the Norwegian TV series The Killing, you know, because that had a jumper in it and that. Oh yeah, didn't it?

Yeah, but not a lot of cream kicks. No. In that. So I'll 50% of reckon my beast. No, right, so a bit like The Killing, that story, you know? A little bit like, yeah. I went down London. Speaking of going and travels and stuff. I went to London last week. I haven't been for ages. I'm not really much since Covid and all that. I

had a trip down and I was, I was near the showbiz centre. All right. So I thought I'd call in or just, you know, see if I can have a look through the windows, something like that, just to feel for the place. And I got there, this is about half eleven in the morning, all locked up, right. North sign of life, at all, weird, when you're still morning, I thought I assumed it would be open. North sign of life there are all, and I just heard this voice Nearby it just would sing you oh God Corbin Jeremy Corbin This is oh god a Senior that laddie poking your nose in where you're not wanted Susano hello Jeremy. I'm just having a look you know

I've heard good things about this place. I wanted to see what it's all about. I'm to get a membership not really working out but I just wanted to come by and you know see for myself Says what you do in here anywhere. It says I'm here with my pal. We're members. VIP This is what Billy Bragg says now that Bragg and Then this other voice came from around the corner just with I see you I know it's that, it's King Charles, who are they? The new king who is with Corbin, I'm just saying, oh I love you, I just stay, what are you up to?

I'm recruiting talent for a new TV show and putting on the BBC now that I'm fucking on it. It's me, Jeremy here, and one of the bloke everywhere we're gonna test drive cars, and sometimes we'll do car stunts and that, but it'll be very lighthearted. I said not disrespecting my justy, are you sure? Cause it sounds to me a lot like Top Gear. It's like Top Gear, yeah. Yeah. It says yes, that's what I'm calling it. Top Gear. That's what that's that's a long established format to be fair.

You can't you can't just nick it. Is that the fucking king that I could do with the fuck I like? Sorry, it's very rough. Anyway, it'll be different. Cause at the end we're gonna have a blank wall and the three presenters take turns to see which one can piss the highest up with She's Christ Corbin wears in what's your best piss height laddie? I thought oh god, yeah, I feel quite oppressed at this point

You know Corbin's asking me how I act in piss the King's nicking formats. Yeah, I'm frightened center. I just said is the King's Nicking formats. Yeah. I've frightened sent there. I just said, I don't know, a meter and a half, Corbin went, ha! King Charles goes, you're in! Corbin says, what? Charles King says, shut up, you little prick!

He's in! He's the third member of the team! So there you go, I'm now on top of you with the Charles and Jeremy Corbyn. It's going to be your BBC one. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it might work. I asked that gets me showbiz sent a membership and Charles, I said, let's do it. You have to ask Milky Jackson. So, yeah, it's got to help. Well, it's got to help.

Not the forward on the showbiz center, but yeah, I's got a lot further forward. Well, it's got a lot further on the show presenter, but yeah, I'm on top of here. I saw the Prince Charles and the King Charles Bob, but King Charles, I thought at first it was genius in your proper impression. Yeah, but did it be here into a little bit John Jones or something? It would kneel, kiddo, I think. All right. Okay. Look at the Welsh, the Welsh influence over the years, baby. Oh, very good. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ And have you any interest in any of these, just asking?

These new resin bonded drive wires that you get, you see, there's another ones where it looks like gravel. The what? resin bonded driveways. I've been seeing it. No, you're not interested. I'm at that kind of a wear of it, yeah, yeah. No, no interest in that. No, not picture interest.

Why, you selling them. No, I just wondered if you liked them. I think they're quite a nice thing. Little maintenance maybe. All right then. You selling them? No, I just wondered if you liked them. I think they're quite a nice thing. Little maintenance, maybe. All right then. Andy, I know you were like an earlier doctor or about 10 years' educes, edu bit,

but I've now got me. I had to stop you there. Yeah. Can I just ask you what would have happened if I'd said yes, I wasn't interested in them. I would have had to chat about them, you know, about choice of like grit size, you know, whether you mixed the grit with the book. Can I pretend to be interested?

No, because I don't believe in it. I don't believe in the conversation anymore. 10 years ago, it must be something like that. You had an air fryer. And now the whole world's after them, yeah? Pretty much, yeah. As we know, well, I've got myself a Coruscant. All right.

6.5 liter. Right. And I just wanted to chat around there, and can I just tell you my first two big success, I mean obviously it can hate stuff, but my two big successes, have you done fried bread in one? No, I haven't done fried bread, no. Oh man, it's magnificent. Talk me through the process. Just get a slice of bread. Spray one side, spray it with olive oil.

Put it in for two minutes, turn it, spray the other side with olive oil. Whoa, I tell yandee, it's a sensation. And the other thing is, I'll send you a follow-up if you want. Please. I did a whole chicken in it, 40 minutes. Perfect. No way. What size chicken we're talking? Small, medium, large.

Perfectly decent chicken, I don't know what they are, two pounds. Two mid range, yeah. Four ounces, I don't know. Right, four minutes. So, you know. Was the skin crispy? I was amazing, Andy. And you know, I thought it might dry it out, but it didn't, it was beautiful. So, have you got a favorite that you do on you want to add to this conversation or not feeling it?

No, no, no, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna throw you a curveball. Go on then. Cause what I did the other day was I roasted some, a butterfly leg of lamb. Right. And when it came out of the oven, as soon as it came out of the oven, before I left it to rest for 25 minutes, I got a white bread bun

and I dipped it in the juices. Yeah. And I had a fistful of that and my god I haven't done that for decades and it was delicious. Is that lies? I'll tell you what. God yeah. It's not that for decades and it was delicious. Is that nice? Tell you what? God yeah. It's not a cheap cut but it is delicious isn't it? Yeah but it's not a cheap cut but the thing is it was just made me

son so it was enough for both of us. Wow. So it's not probably getting more for cheaper and chucking it. You can't have lamb the next day. I don't think you can have, you can't have cold lamb it's too fatty. No I've never known you that it's you can have cold lamb, it's too fatty. No, I've never known it's interesting, is it the only meat that's not available cold, really? I like a bit of cold chicken, cold beef. Oh, cold pork, you know?

Oh yeah, he's all right. Yeah, no, I don't have cold pork. Cold chicken with some chips is just, wow, you're solid cream on. Oh, so I think you've enjoyed that topic a bit more than, certainly more than resin bonded driveways, I think, and they, with hindsight, I've got no regrets about what I said.

Okay, about the resin driveways. So yeah, thanks for that. The third, I've no knowledge of this area, but it seems to have crept up on me recently. You know this gut health thing, you know, keeping the good bacteria and all that. Yeah. I just heard this week health thing, you know, keeping the gut bacteria and all that. I just heard this week some professor saying that the very shiny surface that's on all your blood vessels that allows the blood to slip through easy. That's what gets knackered by cholesterol

and by nicotine, gets little hit holes in it. and it said that they've just recently discovered that if you get your gut health right there is a mechanism that comes from your gut bacteria that can repair your blood vessels. All right. And that's a big deal, Andy. I think so. And I've also heard a recent story of it being a cure for Crohn's disease. So look, and you have no knowledge here

But I'd like to encourage all our listeners and yourself to maybe take this gut health Thing quite seriously. Yeah, I'm not taking it seriously yet But it might be worth looking into what steps do you think you'll take to improve your gut health? I don't I know that not in this country, but in America you can get a little pill Which is actually made from the the shit of someone who's got perfect gut health. Okay. And that gives you that gives you their bacteria you know. But that sounds nice. I mean that's something we're too looking to in it. Tablets of human dodger of human dead.

How imagine a pristine their shit must be. Yeah, must be beautiful, isn't it? God. They're the modern equivalent of the night that's got the shiny armour, you know. But they've got the, they've got the good shade. The shiny shade. Yeah.

So I'm just encouraging in a general sense, have a look at it, see what you can do about it. I'm just having them little yoghurt that are good for your gut health. Yeah. They look like little milk bottles and they've got the phyll top on. You just have a swig of them. Sometimes I have them. Yeah, well good luck because I've got a feeling. Thanks. If we look into it, there's probably better things. It could be turnip.

Could be green. Do you still have your green drinks? No, I'll run out. And that's it. You said you were only a few weeks ago saying, oh yeah, I feel a lot better really quickly. And now it's just, you've forgotten it. Yeah, well it didn't send us any more to this. All right, take us. Hello, listeners. This next section is brought to you by TNT Sports.

And this season, you can stream exclusive you here for Champions League and Premier League football on TNT Sports. And in celebration of the start of the new season, we've been asked to dive headfirst and everything we're excited to get back to. Now the football is back. Now Bob, have you got a kind of a football watching ritual that you deploy when you're at home?

Yeah, when I'm at home, I've got a special seat with extra wide arm. Is it called an arm stand? Arm rest? Yeah, arm rest, yeah. Yeah, story and sex on. For storing the snacks on, yeah. If it's an important game, it's up dog Andy, you know, that's the only way to kick off a full length game. What do you mean by full length? I mean I like a tin dog so I don't know what that is. So the ones you get in the jars which are kind of like a stadium length not the length of a stadium but what can you get in the stadium or slash cinema. I mean I mean I've not done I've done some they've run through my football experience and you know,

I always like to try on it on a way ground. The further north you go, I think probably the meat products are a little bit terstier at the grounds. I think, I reckon. Yeah, I think that's something to do with distance from the equator. You reckon? Yeah, I reckon. I look forward to going to a way much is under, you know, because

I generally go with me, me sons. Right. So it's fabulous, you know, because I'll get to spend eight, nine hours with them, which is very precious. Yeah. So I look forward to that very much. Your sons kind of not really want to spend much time with you otherwise. Otherwise they seem a bit reluctant. But football brings us together. Whether it's live football, or watching on the tally, and because we all gather around with our various snacks. That's what I've been told. Football now is a social thing, as much as anything,

because me son, who I've took to the Sunlomatch since he was four, he's now at the age where he's drifting away from me. In other areas, it doesn't want to be around me all that much. So I'm losing him, but we still got our season ticket. And he wants to go to our Weir Games this season, because he used to go to a drama class on the Saturday and he stopped doing that now.

So Saturday is a free, so we're gonna try and get some of Weir Games. There's that, it's like going to the match is a thing where you catch up with your mates and you don't do that in other areas of life so much anymore because everyone's busy. Yeah that can happen. So that can happen as you get older and you can't it. So yeah football is really important and it comes to that kind of thing. If you've got any food rituals, I'll just keep compiling food again. You've got the food rituals when you've got a home game, you've got a burrow game.

Yeah, very much so. It's like one of those superstition ones as well. When I get to where there be services, I pull in and I get myself a certain brand of pasty and a very weak lemon drink. And I enjoy it as a food anyway, but it's kind of become a good look thing as well, as kind of thing.

I've got a very specific roast meat sandwich van close to the stadium light and no other will suffice. And the cue, it's quite popular because it's very high quality. And the cue was always very long. And my son always complains, but it has to be done because the, you know, don't complain when he's mulling on it. The beef sandwich with gravy as you enter in the turnstiles.

It's just a beautiful thing. And he's got any rituals when you're watching at home. Yeah, when I'm watching at home, I've got another little ritual, which is, if it's my team, I like a little tea candle, you know, next to a picture of me cat that passed away or is very fond of. And I'd like that exactly on kickoff. And it occasionally works, and there you go. It's so nice, we'll actually.

Do you find yourself when you're watching your team at home, do you find yourself taking to your feet and standing up for a lot of it rather than sitting down? Um, no, I, I, I, I leap up with we score, right. Um, but generally, no, I'm quite today. Think of me age, Andy, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I'd, yeah, find myself piercing up and down sometimes when it's, when it's my team, rather than do you like to go, do you like to go watching in pubs, clubs and so on? I Do you prefer your own home, you say? Oh, me own home now, yeah, at my age, yeah. I like familiar surroundings.

The thing that puts me off sometimes, the going to a public place to watch, is you suddenly find out that some of the people you're with don't care quite as much about the football as you do. And they start treating it like a normal night out in the pub you know what I mean and you don't want to tell them to shop because it's rude but you're watching the football you know completely you get them characters yeah I get that and one of the things for show my excitement levels are peaking ahead of the return of the football so

remember Bob this isn't just sport this this is everything. With TNT Sports, you get exclusive UEFA Champions League and Premier League football, along with the best of rugby boxing, UFC, WWE, Mortal GP and more. So stream TNT Sports on Discovery Plus, I'll watch TNT Sports channels on BT, Sky and Virgin Media, subscriptions required, age 18 plus terms and conditions apply. Can I do a crime file, Sandy? I suppose you could. Yeah? Crime files. Crime files? That's a voice, isn't it? Really? Crime files. Who's that? Crime fails. Anyways, the peaceful Leicester's Shavillage of Market Harbor is a small thriving community famous for its music, theater and of course its twice monthly market held in the beautiful Georgian town square. Recently it was voted the best place to live in the whole of the

UK. That will undoubtedly change however following the terrible events of June 15th, 2022. It's a little bit like a Tommy Squaker that moment of hidden just off the town square. In a narrow alley, you will find a Nonsense Potter Neal Hunt manufacturing and selling his nonsense pieces in his Nonsense Pottery. On June 15th he was sat in the front show and mixing a glaze for his Nonsense goblets decorated with images of foxes pointing crutches at baby strollers. The doorbell rang and into the shop, Strowed Mr. Wade Rooney. Neil took one look and responded. I don't need any cheap potatoes, thank you. And nor do I need any towels replaced on my roof. Thank you and goodbye.

Eeey, old tunnel, tunnel, tunnel, tunnel, and I'm looking for an ice-fitting nonsense pot to celebrate the wife's victory in cotton, duck and dis and them as well. Do you have any money? You know, actual real money, not bits of old scrap and vegetables that you want to barter with. My pieces aren't cheap, you know. Yeah, I'm as flush as a rabbit's pouch.

I'm an ex-footballer, and I've just wore a big coat, casing that, and that, and what, and how, and why, and then and that. Interesting, what sort of piece of you after? The biggest most expensive look for nonsense that you have in the shop, and that this one, and yes, you know how to do that, honestly? It's a shame you didn't come in a month ago. I had a huge nonsense pottery prawn holding a microscope in its largest hand over three foot high and costing ten thousand pounds. Sold it to some bloke with a fancy attitude and an East-facing chin.

Ah, that's a shame. Colley loves large prawns and microscopes. I would have been perfect and that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that In his arms he was carrying the three foot nonsense pottery prawn vars, Wade spotted him and shuffled sideways to hide behind one of the display cabinets. Neil, what do you want and you better want something as I'm busy with a rich bloke who likes his nonsense parts? Vali, yeah calm down Mr Potter, you know, live in the moment. Be present, let's really listen to each other and feel each other's energy. Those words are sickening. Have you broken the prawn piece or something?

Cause I don't do big pairs, too time consuming and there's no profit in it. No, the vase is fine, it's just, as it left the shop, but I've had a bit of a financial hiccup this last week and I wondered if I could give you it back and have a refund, you know, because at the end of the day were all brothers under the chin, you know. I'm not your brother and I haven't got away with chin. It was printed quite clearly on Ruyori's seat that there are no front refunds ever

given even if the piece dissolves just as you leave the shop. Now get out of the studio and go poke your chin down some other hole. Vardy approaches Neil Hunt with the prawn held high. He grabs Neil around the neck and starts to force the long-eye pipe of the prawn into Neil's nostril. Listen, Mr. Nonsense. Oh, my words no second you, but I have youth and strength on my side. If you don't agree to a refund, I will force this long-eye thingy right up your snout, and the microscope attachment will be rubbed against your eye until you plead for chin-giveness. Ah, ah, ah, stop that you're hurting my potting eye! Do you not know who I am?

I'll have you know my brother's dentist has access to titanium drill pieces, and my cousin is a forester who can get me, you know, those ants that bite the living shit out of you. Do you hear me? Vady forces the long eye thingy further up nails nose. Yeah, but they're not here now. Are they Mishia pot pot? Now, how's about that refund? Why, why is it always little old me? Every second Sunday I give out reconditioned bibles to the wayward and the fallen, and I once looked after a neighbor's bin collection when he was shitting pork crackling for a month. I'll give you £5,000 refund, that's as far as I could go.

That's a deal Mr. Poppots. You see, that wasn't so difficult difficult was it in the largest sphere of things? Neil transfers the money to Vardy on his phone app. At that moment Wade Rooney pops out from behind the display cabinet. So Vardy, we meet again for the first time without the constraints of the cartouts and that and that and I will say you're looking a little bit worse for wear and that. At that moment Santa Cazola pops his head around the door. Hey! Hey everyone!

I got streamers, balloons, squeezy string, luminous chick, a-pan's big fingers who wants a party. I love to party! Fuck off, Santhi! Okay, why so serious though, honestly life is too short to not party, losers, ha ha ha ha! Party party I love it! I have nothing to say to you other than I expect all that you have achieved and bear no malice towards you and your loved ones may everyone and everything rest in peace.

I wish you were for that prawn potterly man! Ten thousand pounds, it's in perfect condition, exactly as it left the shop, apart from a bit of potter snot on the long eye thingy, which in my eyes only adds to the seafoodness of the peace. I'll take a lad, a lad, that lad, that lad,, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's all. Wade picks up the prawn, raises it above his head and smashes it onto the floor, breaking it in 142 pieces.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Vady looks on shocked, as Wade says.

I've been trying to end that in front of your easterly chin. Seems like a waste of money, but it was worth every penny and that and that, and don't pass the Vady in his useless channels. Listen, we'll meet again Wade, and next time I hope we are on our own away from the prying eyes of journalists, Bob Mortimer and Nonsense Potters. Goodbye for now. Hey Potter, I've just had a great idea for Colleen. Could you knock up a vase in the shape of a pointy three foot east of Lee based chin

with fused sailor at that? Yes, if you had £5,000 to spare. Oh, I do. Ah! After way to let the shop at here began to form in the potter's eye. That's £15,000 I've made today. I'm not to buy a 2019 Octavia estate.

I'm Neil Hunt and I'm loving my life. T-T! So that was Criving Market, Harbra. Yeah, there it is. I'm loving my life. So that was Criving Market Harbor. Yeah, there it is. Yeah, very good. Rubbing his court success in his face there a bit, I'm new one. Yeah, yeah, dancing in front of the defeated Jimmy Vardy.

But Vardy continues to play on, albeit in the channels these days. Oh, but strictly channels, yeah. Yeah. Um, that's everything else for this one. I think it's about it. Uh, yeah, I've enjoyed it. I've been coughing a little bit.

I'm not well, but you're doing well. No, you're not well, Andy. You've done well. You've done well to attend, to be honest. Good for you, good on you. I thought you did nask about me health, but I mean, well, it was obvious. There is nothing I can do but look into that gut health. Maybe have a quick look into resin

driveways, see what you think of it. We could chat about it. And above all under please try some fried bread in your air fry. I'll do it right now Bob. Okay, report back. Right this minute. Good bye sir. Cheers, report back. Right, this minute. Good bye, sir. Cheers everyone. Bye everyone, thanks for listening. you