Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 37: Crawling Under A Horse

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

Historical fear, Harry’s Farm, skip talk, a door, Eddie and Amanda Baby visit the Beardsleys, and Dom pods. (Full version released 28/2/23) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You look like you're in a prison. Well, you know, maybe I am. I'm not going to, you know, shout about it if I am, I'm not. What's prison like about it? I can't really tell. The bars and the windows. It's a blind. Is it? Alright, looks like a prison. Slightly dreary deco. Have we started? Is this it? Is this the part? I keep it dreary. Keep it dreary. Then it's good when you get out. You know what I'm saying? Of course so. Yeah, is this the thing? Have we started it? Yeah, make every day, prison release day, but I live it inside a cell, you know what I mean?

Have you been watching that thing Perol? On BBC 2? No, what is it? It's just, each week, it's different people who are up for Perol and we're sitting on the Perol meeting, find out what they've done, find out if they've been on a Journey towards Rehabilitation then at the end they get a letter and they find out if they've

Been let out or off the stuck in prison for a bit longer And you celebrate if they're not let out Well depends on the circumstances You know, I mean,, let's just say I forge an opinion on them, based on the evidence that I see. And generally, I think that the Broadboard get it right. You're very trusting. Now, you've got a madness to share on it. And it says, no, not, not, notty.

Not, notty, it's a a very very vintage one from 1979. Looks like it was designed by somebody with a pen and a ruler. It's quite geometric in it now. Listen up, do you know why they're the nutty boys? It's because they just survive on nuts, isn't it? Absolutely not. I went to see them. Absolutely not.

Did you see it? I went to see them. I went to see them in 78-79 in a little place in Brighton and all the who came down from London and they were frightening Andy and they all jumped about at the front, promised you, headbutt in each other. Wow! That's what the fans did, and that's why they're the nutty boys. Because they used to nut each other. They used to nut each other.

Okay. So, you've learnt some it there, aren't they? Are you frightened? Are you frightened or where? I stood at the back, shitting myself, yeah. Okay. I've always found the skinned Cockney a difficult area. An unpredictable element.

Yeah. A bit hard to spot the Cockney out, but you know like if you're up north in some land or the borough or whatever, you can walk into a place, see some that's playing pool and say I think I should leave here immediately. Yeah. But I had to find it a bit trickier. It's trickier down the... In England.

I don't know if they're surprised that when you were young, we're definitely did the May, but whenever you saw a skinhead, you would just be paralyzed by fear. You would just think, right, now I am going to die. There's a skinhead here. Very scary.

And I will die within a minute. Because I still would just slender lads. Yeah. It was a very scary look. It's sort of calm now. You know, you know, as the Alsacean has become less threatening over the years. This is absolutely true. We're talking about this on my other podcast, Top Flight Time. I mentioned yesterday the Alsacean used to be the devil dog. And now they have like the American pit bull and the rock wireless had its moment in the sun,

but it used to be, it used to be Al-Syriant, it equaled Iman and Death, didn't it? Yeah, yeah, now it's like a couldly fella. So listen Andy, we're talking about life, I think you degree. Like we always do, don't we? You know, and should we do, I'm proposing that we start off the show with Our song one of our songs our I call it a rap One of our songs where we celebrate the good things in life, you know an avenue and attitude a gratitude Yeah, you feel that's a good idea. I feel as though I could contribute to that. Yeah, okay I will I hope you will and do you have the music not just at the moment up you will and do you have the music? Not just at the moment. Oh yeah, hang on. Yes I think I do have the music though. What I don't have is the lyrics. Once again I have that in just a moment. Yes, no I do have that. I will see if we can combine the two together. Are you ready? Yeah I don't did this work last time and you know

it shambles. A bit of both I think okay Well, so let's say I will cause you know which which is thumbs up for me. Yeah, what you're up concerned Just try to celebrate life and I'm the count the three it'll begin one two three All right boss you look good in your shorts and your cowboy boots way off to I'm off to the tip with these fluorescent light tubes Alright boss, you look good in your shorts and your cowboy boots way off too. I'm off to the tip with these fluorescent light tubes. Then I'm going to pop it a chicken temp of some berry berry. Nice. Could you not just put the tubes in your bin?

You know, smash them up, add them in the bag or it's like buttering them with some butter, something? Yeah, I could do. But I'd miss out on a tip visit. Where are you off to? I'm off to Iceland by a couple of packs of frozen mashed potatoes. What an excellent mission. Yeah, a colour anywhere you want but you've got that right. It's days like these that make the grind worthwhile.

Yeah, do you know what? I hate you go. Hey, when you're in Iceland, you know, you should get a pack of the hash brown fries, Bob. They cook superb in the air fryer. How I do that. Be a nice snack in over the fried egg when I'm watching Mubuts Firstight Australia. What a good snack, Bob. So what you're going to do after you've baked with the chip? You've got the flyover, have a good step, it's happy. Now I was there yesterday, I reckon I'll buy a couple of scratch cards and go around the fucking house with a smoke and a kick about with a death ladder, does it trolley?

Alright, I wish you'd be up there and cowboy boats, right? Probably dead boys. 15 quid down the high fern, the Eshin Shop. Oh, what? Yeah, this is good advice. Oh, yeah, I'm loving life. See you later. Oh, well. See you later.

Oh, well. See you later. Oh, well. You know, whatever. I think it kind of, it much to about 35% of the song. I wonder whether we'll we'll have a pursue that again it might just be two appearances. It's touch and go. Touch and go. Would you like some names to choose from? Of course I would. Just for this episode. I mean, obviously you can be honky-tonk as usual. You could be decimal Jeff. Okay. Decimal Jeff rides a 10-wheeled bike and only observes 10 hours in every day. Right.

Oh, you could be American Mike. Right. Love Zolly American stuff. You know, hot cheese, gaskosla's, tick a tip. I don't like gaskosla's. Or you could be, or you could be bogus belts, but that's just a company. Okay, I'm going to be on ketonk. Sorry, that's not going to be a jeton. It's just a fancy me an on ketonk. Oh, would you like it, but you could be slim whispers, your eats luxury cap foods, works at a very heavily under capacity brewery, slim whispers. Or you could be Taya Dalan. He's a Covent Garden juggerlar who, honest to be honest, he's lost interest in his juggles. Oh, you could be running up dogs. Running up dogs. Up, it was a Taya Dalan, was it? Taya Dalan, yeah. That feels, that feels appropriate. I'll be Taya Dalan,

have I saw, right? Just want to just run past you know at the near the top of the this thing any of these topics interest you under okay tailgating um do you think the era of sailing spotlights is coming to an end you PC windows and doors lights is coming to an end. You PC windows and doors, the current version of waiter bicks any of them interest you. Teal getting yet but I probably get quite angry about that. That was the second one again. Whether the era of sea little

sea little spotlights you know might be coming to an end we might go back to you know like hanging lights or... Yeah, yeah, I'm interested in that, I think. So, alright, what do we think then? Do you think this coming to an end? No, I think it's gonna power on for a lot longer. I think it's just, it's just easier. It's not aesthetically very pleasing.

These six dots of LED intensity above your head, you know, really? Have you not got them? Have you got like chandeliers on that? No, I've got them, but I begin to look at them and think that all the dough is getting... Facially sickened by them. I was sickened by them, yeah, a little bit.

I think I've been roped into it, you know, by someone said, oh, I have to what you need now is these spotlights to give you a full light coverage. But so did the old fashioned sailing lamp, you know, the single flex with the light bulb on the end. Is that all right, right? Yeah. When do you think it came in though?

Spotlight revolution? I'll tell you something, call it that. 20 years? What was your end? You think it was maybe changing rooms? Probably the same one. It could have been changing rooms. But it's failing at a micabrain.

It came in with a big bank. It came in with one of these and the old one. Alright, so I'm sitting there enjoying the TV, right? With me sailing lamp, then suddenly, All change, fucking spotlights everywhere. All change! Well, I hope it comes to an end and the I've got feeling in me bones. It's got I think that laminate flaws and the sailing spotlights might be on the way out.

Well, we'll see. I think sailing spotlights are hit the steer because you know what? If we go away from them, then you're going to have a lot of replosh when a sailor is going to make that we don't want to get removed. Yeah. And that feels like an undertaking too far. It's a bit like Japanese knotweed. I think it's got its tendrils into our souls.

Hey, what's that? It's with the Himalayan Bolsem Andy. And our riverbank. Who, what's hurry? Himalayan Bolsem. Where in that? That's at Yara's of Boga. Whenever I pass that cell, you're Boga.

You're Boga River Plant, you are. What have you got some? No, you're Bouga. You're Bouga of a plant you are. What have you got some? No, you see it, I was bad at rivers, Andy. It's actually not that unattractive. It's got a purplish flower on it, but it's just taking over from our natural flora and dog dirt that we usually find. Did that come over from Japan as well,

with the not weighed or is it? British. I think it came over with the band Japan when the Ditorin in Himalaya. So that's the story behind it, you know. You brought a lot back in the suitcase. Yeah, but listen up and just scat it around. Have you had a wheat a bit recently?

I haven't had any wheat a bit for quite a while. They changed it. Well I bought a big pack, you know the big chunky one, maybe 20, 48 or something. Forty eight, a minimum I'd say for a big pack, yeah. 24's not a big pack. But that big pack and 72's a fucking big pack. That is a fucking big pack, isn't it? If you wanted to play that game where you put big things in other shoppers, Charlie, when they're not looking, a 72 pack of them. A pack of what, 48 bog rolls. 48's a big pack.

Still trolley that. It's a fucking big pack, 48, and he admit it. I'm not leaving it, so he admit it. I'm not, I'm admitting it. I'm not denying it. So anyway, I got the big pack and I had the first two. I thought, he's not why I remember me wheat a big spoon like. Right.

Left it for a day, I'd trade the next day. So it's going on Andy. Really? They're bound, there's more glue in them. You know, they've not got this sort of likeness or anything that they used to have. A bit a lot more dense. Yeah, and they slightly different taste. On Twitter to see if anyone said anything about new wheat that bicks little.

Not really a grid deal, a chat about it on the Twitter. That I can say, that I can detect. But I don't know, I'll tell you what is different. Well, gee, it's cream crackers. No good. Oh better Again, not quite as good don't feel as creamy. I know cracker even creamy There was a strike, you know, yeah in the Jacob's factory Right, and the strike ended because they couldn't get Jacob's cream crackers for love no money Yeah, for about a month and then the strike ended and they're back in the shops

And I've done or whether it's because the machines are all been for about a month and the strike ended and they're back in the shops and I've done all whether it's because the machines are all being off for a month and then when they've powered up again something's not right but they're not the same. I'm going to try that out only because I like a jetty thing Cracker. It's my absolute most favorite. I don't want to sound like someone who's you know disappointed with the real life's going but we've just said there wheat and cream crackers on the slide. Can I try and show you up by impressing you with me new speed of solving a Rubik's cube? I do, Andy, I do, I do, I do, Andy, but I just want just to top off the wheat of the Czech grain crackers thing. I just want to say, and again, I'm being a miserable

getty, but does it ever piss you off that when you just go for a pack of grain crackers at the supermarket, Jacob's Jacobs the only one they have available is the huge one or the pack of two you can't just don't seem to get a little ish pack of crane crackers you'd want a small a small one pack yeah just the one we used to get where we were just by the packet two the day on them's like, I don't know what I ate a month or something. You can get through two of them

with the packs in it, one to go. I suppose you're right, but it just kind of fucks me off a bit that you know, it's mecha'd me by two, I only want one. Well, by two and just send one up to me, I love the other one. Oh, the other type,

the other type of creepy fellows got like airtight boxes for you, so you know what I mean, your crackers are in an airtight box are you yeah what are you do you just take off in the pocket then press the end up against the wall or so yeah exactly up against the way it looks okay now come on you're ready yet. Ah, there you go. Whoa, that was... That was 1.3 seconds. Is that the best you've ever done? That's even faster than last, yeah.

Is that where you're at now? Why's it working on place? It's still going to get faster than that. That's where I'm at, yeah. And I'll put a button normally again. I just keep pressing and I'll... There we go. Yeah, did it take you a bit longer

to mix it up, which is strange, I think, maybe? Do you think it did? Maybe a bit a little bit, yeah. I thought it was the same. Pretty sure it was the same. Okay. So, did you know that Nutflix is filming their own version of Clarkson's farm, Andy? Okay, good.

Down at Ari McGuire's farm in Shoptia. Right. The idea is that other footballers and managers come and help them and the good forker infinity rocket plastic. Oh Andy, I've just before I started this podcast bought myself a new reg on the truth coming on a Thursday. Yeah. Nice. So I bet you can't wait to hear that. Look at, have a look at that. Absolutely. Bring it on.

Anyway, I was excited about that. So, Infinity Rocket Plastics got me all the some early rushes from it. So I thought I'd read it out to you. You know, like it was a script. Do you know what I mean, can I? Yeah, like in a rehearsal. Yeah, I've made it like a script, but I've just got rushes, you know, but

So exterior family had Harry McGuire is stood by his tractor with Steve McLaren and Jordan Pickford So says Ari, I've used two both Bort Pack lunches Steve McLaren, no, why would that do that? me, McLaren. No, why would I do that? But because there ain't no Star Books, I'll put a mantra out in the fields. This is a proper farm, not an urban joke. Jordan Anderson. Ah, I've got a pack of monuments, but I've just brought them along and threw it in the pigeons like. Casper needs his cap-to-choo for his eleventhsys to wash down its fun lap to the bar and if he doesn't get it he'll start spraying shit all over the shop.

Well it's fine by me if he's spread it on the fields but it's full of snake goodness. Well it's not a fan by me. I've got to think of his mental health. You know above your crop returns, crop density, crop yield, crop surplus, whatever. What has John, cropped up, good crop bud, crop helicopter, crop soey, park crop. Rain crop keeps falling on me bed, that's the rule of the matter. I'm not shifting on that particular unbag. Look listen Steve, you won't get no fancy camp of choo-choo here on the farm, I don't wreck your cut out for farming, why don't you just clear off?

Do you know I think I'm at, do that, I don't mean to be a Jesse II grumbles, but you have to understand that Casper is the most precious concentration of pure love and happiness you could ever experience. And if he was to suffer disappointment, the heart would dissolve into a thousand melancholy tears. Sean Dish emerges from the barn. He's a fucking snake. Just put him in the barn and he can do some ratting. I will not he hates rats. He thinks they are cars in rude and close to new ways of thinking. Well, one old is for cough then. Sorry, I've got some shit to spread or

some hard standing that needs these shit in because I'm your man. I'm never happier than when I'm asking to appreciate. Eric Tenharger arrives in his Volvo. I've judged the group. Nope, we're not muck spreading today. We're going to take my hydraulic five-iron spud picker out into the large field and harvest ourself some spuds.

Jordan. Oh, no, drive-arry! Round, round, not known. Like the last of us is actually real, you know. And the spuds just to burn us. I know the basics, Merrill, Merrill, signal, had stunned backpuss. No, I'll be driving. It's a serious piece of kit is the five-arm, Erick Senag. Tell me Harry, what systems do you intend to employ when tackling detractor pathway. Um, I do start at the bottom corner, then go up and down until I'm at the far bottom corner.

A place to talk about buttons in front of Casper. He's only 13 for pimples sake. Eric, surely it would be more efficient to start in the very centre of the field and drive in concentric circles. Sean, John, Dish, would it focus like you'd missed the four corners. in the very centre of the field and drive in concentric circles. Sean, John, Dish, would it focus like you've missed the four corners and corners are the best thing about this lock. But I think perhaps you are quite wrong. When the circles are complete, the corners can be completed by four independent reverses. It's a much-need or pattern. Anthony Gordon emerges from the barn, where he got me a baggy pair of underpants and a straw hat.

But he doesn't speak next, share on dice does. Right. See, foreign patterns can for cry tough. What's wrong with straight up and down? We want spuds for pies and chips, not a work of art. What do you reckon, Anthony Gordon? Anthony Gordon. Oh, oh, oh, My passers, you should always skin a possum for their task!

So it's those, so I reckon straight open down! Look, just fine, for potatoes! Have anyone got any mealware and cake, as my ass is terribly loose today? Ho ho! If you insist on this outdated system, Sazeric, then I will not be accompanying you into the field. Oh, that's coulderic. You can stay here with me and Casper. We can sing some songs about rainbows and cotton candy and chocolate hoax. And second thoughts I will come with you to the field just to observe. Jordan, so where is this five-arm Spudrow bot and more important?

Is it sentient? And will it remember the good old years when I was ruled world? It's in the barn, I just need to grease the picking arms and then we're away. Young Anthony, would you like to help me with the grease gun? My partner always says that there's more goodness in grease than in the belly of the hog. So yes indeed, that's my car awake! They all walk into the barn. Harry addresses the picking-arm with his grease gun, but immediately says that it's covered in Todd Quickley's and Morning Wine. Or you can't take this out in the field with the picking-arm tainted with quickness and bladder wine, which one of you has done this? I don't mean to be a towel-tail, but Sean and Anthony have both just come out to the ban.

So you might want to focus your investigation on them, Mr McGuire. I hold the answer up where to. I had a piss on the machine, really sorry, but I left me bottling the car. But I didn't, I don't mind down that caramel quickly. My movements are solid as amours. Listen, I really, really don't want to be a telltale.

But young Anthony was complaining earlier that his bottom is very loose. You might want to make some general inquiries in that direction. Well Anthony, were it you? My past is if you ask the gold and don't hesitate, better to have an empty house than a little really tired. So yes I did it, I ate pala jazza. Alright, well that's it then, no spoon picking today, so we'll just have to set in the barren and draw up plans for a farm shop.

I think the farm shop should be arranged around concentric circles with glazed conical ceiling and wireless activated escalators. Oh come off it, say Sean, what's wrong with stairs? Straight up and down, basic and functional. That's a bit like your football team Sean. I hadn't thought of that. Nice one, Ari. And they talked all day until the sun came down. And when they called Anthony in from the lower field where he'd been utilised as a scarecrow,

that's the end of that annual. Yeah. I enjoyed that. Yeah. I got that ghost to, is that a pilot, is this it? It's a pilot of the month for Nutflix. McGuire's Harry's farm, it's called.

Right. Okay. I got a ghost of series, as they say. I want to get green lit, as I believe this year. And I think Harry McGuire feels nailed on to be a Sean Dishsiner forever and in the summer. Yeah, hey that's a good point, isn't it? It feels like 30 eight million something like that.

Well 30, 30 something with knock-ons. Yeah, they spent the 75 when they bought them originally. I think you know I've got a funny feeling it was 80 mil. Fucking hell, for poor weed. originally I think you know I've got a funny feeling it was 80 mil fucking hell football weird calling all sports bettors experience neo-bet bet on over 9,000 live sports betting events each month with over 100,000 combos of lines props and player bets across football basketball hockey, hockey, soccer,

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You have some questions from the past neppers? Oh, right, T.O. What have you seen? Martin Thornton says, do you miss licking stamps? I have to say, I don't really. I never liked that slightly sort of sour taste. I still don't enjoy looking envelopes. I've got Benjamin Hancock. Have you been watching The Last of Us, which caused Jordan Anderson, thinks is real? I have watched, I think I'm on number four or five.

I'm finding it a bit of a slog. I'm warming to the the kid but it's touch and go and overall I'm not really that fussed by very jerky zombies. I haven't got a clue what you're talking about who the kid is or anything I haven't watched it I don't feel compelled to watch it. Robert Straw what type of skip do you like the most I like the ones with a drop down front, so you push your wheelbarrow into it. I'd go along with that, to let them bath so you can walk into.

I'm working towards getting one of them eventually. Yeah, I've never, I've never, I've got one on me drive at the moment, the skip, I've got an eight yarder. That's what I usually get. Has it got a drop down front? No, it would be handy, man. Just, you're just chucking stuff in, are you?

Yeah. You're getting rid of? I'm just getting rid of shit. I mean, the thing is, is they're very expensive, Andy. And like, I do wonder whether it would be just cheap at higher revant for the day and go down the tip. Probably would be more fun as well, I reckon. Well, any day. I've got a few sacks full of leaves and some branches that I've trimmed off some trays and they need to go up to the tip. But I'm just going to do five trips. Okay. I mean, I do like a skip. I think we all like a skip.

We all like peering into a skip. I'm not bothered two yard, five yard, six yards, flip front, skip. You ever climbed in someone else's skip? Yeah. No, I went in a bigger, about 12 yarder in Hastings once, got down the bottom of it, it was empty, just to see what it felt like. Yeah, it felt good.

It felt okay. It's a better experience was crawling under a horse and looking upwards. I did that once. That was good. That's frightening. But that was a live horse. Yeah, a living horse, yeah. Just had a look at the undercarriage. I don't look at it. You give it a tickle? No, no, it's a bit frightening but it's quite a sight.

Rufus canas, what animal would you like to have nesting in your hair? For me it's easy and they because it's a woodlause. So what do you call woodlause, woodlause. I'd call it Martin. Yeah. And we'd be best friends forever. That's my choice. I think with us, we don't have a lot of hair going on. So probably like a spider for me, maybe again similar. It could occasionally crawl down me far ahead and just just put on top of me nose on the bridging me nose. Give you a bit of advice. me forehead and just just put on top of me nose on the bridging me nose. Give you a bit of advice. Yeah, just yeah. I'm not talking massive, nothing like a furritor, isn't that that?

Michael says, when opening a pack of cooked meat, do you attempt to open it with the useless corner flap or do you just slice the bastard with a knife? Well it's a good question. I'm a slice so I do get really, I just slice into it with whatever's near by, but I regret it later, maybe a couple of days later when the ham or the chicken develops a bit of fridge taint. I did this the other day with the pack of bacon and it just wouldn't open with the useless corner flap, it never does. I don't even know why I bother I should just go straight to the slashing technique but yeah yeah um have you ever noticed how hard it is to open them packets of

bacon Andy you're making stumps well some more of them bit later on but uh what's behind the door? Yes or no, yes or no. It's back, what's behind the door? I don't know. I do not know. He doesn't know. Imagine redore. For you little matching bob, there are three things behind the door

and I'm gonna preview each one of them and you've got to tell me whether you'd go through the door or have a closer look inspection. Maybe interfere with whatever's going on behind the door. Okay, I got you. Here we go, number one, it's a cup of tea, but it's large enough to get into. Okay, tempted. Do you have any questions about anything about it?

Can I just ask about the heat of the tea, please? I thought you asked that. It says here, temperature pleasingly warm. Thank you. Okay, got you. Okay got you Well, are you gonna go in a while? Oh, I don't I Know I'm not gonna go in I'm not gonna go so Seriously seriously, yeah, there's some trunks in there for you to put on as well if you want again. You didn't say that too late

Number two as five hundred tiny eyeballs on sticks of varying heights. No, thank you. This likes them out. Like a kind of art installation. No, I know. Thank you, Andy. They're all infected of the helps. Well, no, I don't want to see them. Sozandry. Still though. Third one, it's Acabilke. He's dressed as a harlequin and we're in a plastic sword around. He's got chili sauce down his front from a Donna Cabab that he's

just finished because obviously he is absolutely shit first. Oh go on, I'll go on see Aca, yes thank you. You're going? Yeah, I was wondering then you said he's shit first so yeah I'd like to go in. Even though he's got a sword. I can't feel be alright. Brave. Brave be alright. But okay. Alright, Bob. Now I just thought I'd get in touch with you. I'll get you a bit of an update, like. So I'm in sparrow with at the moment doing some colouring and having a good start at the well pet right you know. Spor, Spor, you probably guessed it.

I'm only in the bad books with the wife like so I make this world tell you what's happening dog dead. Well I was in the kitchen this morning you know checking the yokes by a dead son Mae'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n gweithio'r yw'n mynd i'r yw'r ysgwyr i'r yna i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna, mae'n mynd i'r yna, mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna, mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna.

Mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna. Mae'n mynd i'r yna. I got that phrase a bit wrong, but I didn't think the bobbin' them. So, can we come in for a fucking check please, mate? Yeah, of course you're coming, but hold on one second. And I say, look, every hour, the man just gave me, is he okay if he's coming? Give us a minute, I'll shout when I'm ready. So, it was a bit awkward, still in the doorstep tour. I thought quick like I noticed me puffed the jacket hung up by the door. So I said, are you familiar with the puffed

puffed approach to outdoor wear? Miss deadly? Amanda baby, you know it makes deep sense. Yeah, it's in individual puffer, puffer pocket. It's like, you know, like a miniature dove. So it's like we're in 50 odd doviers on your back. But at its where, at where, at the place, where? It wears next to now, you know, because of proper technology. Eddie, Peter, is this fucking reversible? You know, once you've worn it, you can't take it back.

Carol shows up. Peter, tell the guests I'm ready to receive them in the TV lounge. Oh, they caught your frogs. Tell them what your wife. Hello, Mr. Hell and Miss Gavling. Call me a mander, baby. No, I won't be doing that. Peter, have you offered our guests some herbs? I need your filter like some eggs. I'm a man doing any of these, I didn't want eggs. So Peter, we're wondering if you, with a view to become an ambassador. Oh yeah, I would love that. I really miss. Shot Peter, let me handle this. Would you like a cherry amander?

I'll perhaps above the supplies. Oh my word, sounds amazing. What's the surprise? It's got an earth in it that casually cooks as you sip. No, that's okay. Can I just say how cute your TV is? It's like the little one I have in my garden room. It's so adorable. Well, I thank you. So what sort of things would you be asking Peter and Chippa Hill? Well, before you could start off, come see the kids at one of our schools on a fucking excellence, you know? So, you know, the more tricky shit you could pull off. I would love to do that, I still got it, you know? No, I don't consider that appropriate for a man

of my or spin-stuffs. What else? Can I just say that your yellow and white curtains are so eye-catching and sweet. They remind me of the ones you get in those breakfast cafes or greasy spoons, as I think they're called. So adorable. Am I right? I don't fucking think so, Pat. Well, it's a deal.

We wondered if he might maybe he could do some fucking smoozing in one of the fucking hospitality sweets on Wednesday. I, I, I, I love that. No, I don't want him near alcohol. Last time he got drunk, he tried to force feed the nabs dark with a bag of fucking and grout, anything else! Is that your car on the drive, Carol? It's so dainty. Reminds me of the cars I used to see around Gdansk

when I was in court in Maxwell House Coffee for the workers. Hello, Rides! Oh, what about it, Peter? What about it, Peter? It was a guest of fucking honor at one of our war series or fucking charity dinners? What about a painter who invited to attend alongside my husband? Yeah, well I fucking not a painter plus one if I'm not fucking me. Okay, that's a deal then.

Take Eddie through to the kitchen, Peter. And just like a quick word with Amanda Thornton, baby. So, I'll talk Eddie through to the kitchen, like Eddie says, you have a very nice clean, fine pen you've got there you can. Yeah, the sacredness shows one of them sponges you know with scratchy scratchy side, spongey spongey side, just use the spongey spongey side, because scratchy scratchy side, you know, take off some of the non stick. Well, you said that was an outburst by the front door, and really going to hear the wife's shelter at Amanda Bayby. Your skinny, fucking patronizing, spanner first, hobbit-head, fuck! If I ever say you again, I'll love you so hard, your fucking beak will fly off a land on the platform and paint a reflugon station. I'll replace it with the hail of my fucking shoe, now fuck off out of my house. And Eddie followed it out like and he just says, thanks for your fucking time, and my I wish you all the best with your future fucking endeavors and we'll be in fact in touch.

When they're done and set the life, well thanks for nothing, you'll never get the job off of them now. Oh poor, I forgive you, and thank you for nothing, not know, but I'll never get the job offer now. Ah, poor, I forgain you. And thank you for nothing, not sticking up for us when she was checking the piss out of our house. Well, you're on a boat, little one. Never heard nothing like that. You'll chose not to.

You're mean, you're a creepy little kid of a man. Get up to your room and don't come down till it's time for me, Colombo eggs. So, yeah, I'll pay me, Roam since then then you're doing the coloring and not you know, not man. Musting grumbles both. So anyway, I'll just read you out in Colo Jorks from York, but you know, Chay was born for. So what's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? The birth purpose except for the rabbits? A wazel got in the bar, you know, a barman says,

well, I've never seen a wazelly here before, what can I get you? Pop goes the wiser. So I took a shell like off me racing snow, you know I think it would make him faster. To be honest, if anything's made him more sluggish. I feel like coming. Sure, I'll show you, Rob. One paper, one paper, one paper, one paper, one paper, three paper. Now that's a paper's a Peter getting such, very nice. I noticed there that rudeness wasn't rewarded when Amanda Baby was rude to Carol.

Just, that's just my ethos. Yeah, I didn't spot that at first. She was a bit, yeah, she was a bit, having a bit of a dig really much. But, okay, that's not all that kind of thing. Everything Carol Beadsley would respond to a till get there. Well, I think she'd rather fucking break some. You know, just glad. Yeah, yeah, probably. Hello, well, I was doing it. I would have, I long to it, I'm at my side of the double-edit little part.

Hey, today, a special guest, well, it's the last minute replacement, it was going to be Rod Dalaton, the occasional star of ours under the hammer, but he's at the cancel at the last minute, so I've got, what have Britain took, what are based comedians and all for a spot-bow bar? Hi, I'm Tom. Thanks for having us again. Thanks for coming along. Got some subjects for you.

Before we start, something I want to just take up at the beginning. I've got a rubber band in me and... No, nice. How do you think is it a Finn word? It's in a thick word. I think it's a really thin word. Oh, if I had at the end, I'd say it'd have kicked listening for, right? Bob, would you describe yourself as a cool customer?

Yeah, in more circumstances, Dom, I get a bit, I don't like, you know, some things. Yeah, you get a bit of an edge of tight ends and accruated by some things. Yeah, you know, quite like back on the old. Yeah, I tell you what it is done mainly. It's dealing with thoughts call centers. I had a bit of a problem with one of the broad band suppliers and you know the thing, Dom. Yeah, that gets me very agitated. I didn't want you to go into any specific spot. that's this.

Sorry. Yeah, all right. Well, you've worked on the house, are you raccoons? Yes, I reckon. I reckon. Yes, put that there. When you're on the internet, are you a single clicker or do you double click? I don't... why would I double... I don't know what you mean?

Well, if you're clicking on some idea you just click what so do you double click? I think I do a bit of both Tom All right, you know, so I think you're right actually if I'm really keen to say something I think I do give it to I was gonna say I think you should always double click just to be on the safe side Maybe you're right. Yeah Oh, listen to a podcast the other day and there was a rumor about you. Yeah, they said that you've had a section of one of Britain's rivers cut out and put in the bottom of your garden. Is that true? No, that's not true, dumb. I think that would be okay. They said they had like drum footage of it. And it's it's so flowing river. It's still flows even out of bed cut out of another river and putting your gun. No, that's bullshit

And you've got a mechanism in it that makes it flow No, I wouldn't know how to start so you can't steal parts of rivers. I mean you might be able to steal the very end of it I suppose The very interesting I put that down as a don't know I do know that I do know that I haven't stolen a river don't you say that but I'm not convinced because they said there was drown footage so you know I'll stick with don't know on that one. I'll be doing some work, Bob with a charity for short men who've triumphed in life against all the odds. Yeah. And I just want to give a shout out to Michael Etrick, his

Loveless marriage ended in 2008 but he's recently become a gauge to a woman who is nine years younger than him who hails from the former Yugoslavia. And Michael is five foot one and a half. Well done Michael. There we go. I thought I'd give him a shout out. I forgot to bet it for this episode. So, Bob, it's been really good, Tom, thanks. The rubber band. You were right, it was a fin one. It was a fin one, I can see that now, Bob. It is a fin one, very well spotted.

I've got a little song. I want to end it up, so if I've got big guitar here, and it's a song which I call the State of the Nation. Okay. Here we go. No buses to town after 7pm. Marmalade cost in a five-hour ajar. Lonely men crowdfund to buy off the shave. Some cut a foot a second car.

This is the state of the nation. X were going untreated. Sadness statistics gone through the roof. What the hell is happening to us? My brother in law at the Sally's Gold Tenth. This is the state, the absolute state, the state of the bleeding nation. I will always have time for you. Here we go, it's my show. I'm done. The end of the Dominic LittlePod, thank you very much for listening. Thanks for having us, Dom.

Did you hear that, Andy? No, I was just putting me rubber bands in order for... All right. Fat to thin. It's Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom, John, what's he called? Dom, Dom, Dom, Dom Littlewood. Dom Little your call? Dumb little wood. Did his podcast often us on and did a little song at the end about... Oh he's starting to do songs as he.

Oh my god. Yeah, that's a worry, you know. It is a worry. Well, should we stop it there, Andrew? I think we've had a nice time. Yeah, I think we've... It's run its course, it's run its course. So thank you once again everyone for your questions and for tuning in. Yes thanks for supporting us and listening and just being there for us Thank you.