Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 41: No No No No No

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Fish and chips, safety, a Beardsley barbecue, door opening, questions, Talksport, and a showbiz centre opportunity.(Rec: 29/11/2023) Join Club Parsnips at https://www.patreon.com/athleticomince Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. I'm really looking forward to some fish and chips tonight I didn't realize it was Friday Andy but it's Friday yeah that's what's brought the feeling on that cod feeling yeah that's what it is have you not eaten yet then because we're doing this at 6.30? I guess we've started yeah? Yeah I'm gonna go at the Chipby Quart by 7. All right. Nice. Right. I might like I'd like to ask you just briefly about your fish and chip habits. Are you a cod or a haddock man?

I'm a cod man. Always have been. I don't mind haddock but you generally need to like you know pre-order it up here it's a very very cod-heavy area yeah no it's very very coddy the north are you right about that yeah tell me this do you have peas or curry sauce or not bother? yeah I don't mind mushy peas now and again not always depends if I'm feeling in the mood or not but not the curry sauce? the curry sauce no no no no no no you keep your curry sauce when it comes to fish and chips fair enough so but I'm not finished yet Andy I watch quite a lot of fish and chip vlogs on the

YouTube's and that lake and very pleased to hear that and there seems to be some areas of the country where they serve the fish without the skin on are you aware of this at all or do you believe that you know the skin you know when you get a cod and chips this is the under side of the cod it usually is has got the skin on it correct or not correct not correct around here anymore used to be a thing when I was a kid you used to get the skin because that was a bit that tasted horrible when I was a kid. Blimey well maybe that's maybe I'm in a little nub where they've kept

they've kept the skin on you know surprises me because it's so posh where I live you know I mean. Right so I can turn this question around. Unless you've got any more questions about fish and chips. Well I've got endless questions but you'll just have to be quick with your responses and the others will go on forever. Do you like a Savaloy, yes or no? No, not anymore. Fair enough. Not anymore you used to like it. I used to enjoy a Savaloy dip from Dixon's Pork Butchers.

Nice. Which is a Savaloy with some peas pudding and gravy in a bun but not a battered Savaloy no no I didn't say battered actually. Next question. All right next question is do you still visit the fish cake in a chip shop? Do I what? Do you still consider having a fish cake from the chip shop? No I've never considered having a fish cake. Did you have them in the past? They're very cheap, fishy taste. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not the fish cake, no. Well, we used to have something called a bean rounder when I was a kid, because I don't know if you did, I hung around the chippy as a kid every night and...

Was it a bean rounder the same as what we would call a beanie? It's like batter on the outside then potato then baked beans in the middle. Oh no like batter on the outside then potato then baked beans in the middle oh no back on the outside sausage meat and baked beans sausage meat yeah no no no no no no no no yes well so anyway that i'll stop now and yeah i'll we'll continue this for the next one because i do like my chip shops but if i don't carry on i'm never gonna get the chippy it's just me and I imagine you're gonna want to sit down you're gonna want to sit down and watch Sheffield Wednesday versus Sunderland later on aren't you? Well I would love to if I get permission I would love to and I'm going to a wedding tomorrow so as the person who doesn't know the person so I'm probably

in credit for that so I might get to watch it I'd love to sell something to get man. That's gonna be awkward. No it's not awkward I'm just saying it's not you know anyways up listen I like to start these past nips these days with one of me safety wraps Andy you know that don't you? Yeah I've become aware of that recently yeah. i'm going to i'm going to call it performing i'm going to perform that now all right yeah please do ah you see a lot of it around here like you know people not taking enough care for the safety in potentially dangerous situations like um to be honest makes me

sick to my stomach you know so look over there now there goes ron ron chin walking like he's shit himself on his way to the crematorium i expect in his slip resistant shoes when we all know he has a pair of anti-slip Doc Martens in his lock up so to be honest if he falls fuck him I'm not lifting him up not with my back back you know what I mean safety first Ron you know don't be a doil so what's this here on the wall of the psych hospital your ladders are on the wrong angle mate. You should get down adjusted. Well I'll report he's just ignored me. It's up to him I suppose. If he had fallen they would have been out of arc I'd do. I dropped my phone in the car plate yesterday whilst I was playing Las Vegas poker kings on it you know.

Safety first mate, you honestly don't be a toddy. Will look at that Herbert over there with his thin tash and his sports direct socks, trimming his edge you won't believe this without safety glasses. One wrong flick of that blade and his eyes are shot to shit. Hey you lose your sight mate I'm not giving you directions my eyes are fully bogged and I can't tell up from fucking down. These days I can't. Safety first Tashi at least shield your face with your free hand you slack bastard. Well I hope it's given you a few ideas safety wise ladies and gentlemen. I've been Bruno Esquire. I hope you enjoyed the rap.

Do you want a name Andy? What was his name there? Bruno Esquire? Yeah I think so. We didn't quite have a name last week. Was it some kind of park in Middlesbrough was it? Was it called Palisades Park? Palisades Park. I just don't know Andy. I can't remember. I just don't know Andy you know I just don't know would you like to be called Lance brisket

military history is this thing along with the cheaper cuts of meat or you could be sugar puffy COE of a Blackburn Light engineering company suffers from block noses and bloating and Anna jalapeno she's hot hot hot Andy yet another block nose are unfortunately eight fences you could be and think about it and because I could imagine you in a movie you started in a movie called eight fences maybe you should take a chance yeah so the name of the movie is it fences? Well no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. Oh god no. I'll take aid fences. I've got no more questions about it, I'll take aid fences. Okay, well the movie happens, it's nothing to do with me obviously. Well I remember talking about chips and that, there was a good thing I saw on twitter a couple of days ago, or X as it's called now,

and it was originally from TikTok but it had been tweeted and it's an Irish lad with a big beard and he's got a spice bag. Now spice bag is an Irish thing it seems, it's full of chips and bits of onion and I don't know a couple of other ingredients and he had the tweets called handy spice bag instructions and I recommend searching for it and having a look. OK. Because not only has he got the chips and the onion and all that, he introduces a chicken ball which is in batter and some curry and mixes it all up and it's quite a delightful looking montage of foods. I think, what are you drinking there? You've got some pop.

Beer. Beer? Yeah. I'm 64 years old and I can drink beer, you know, I'm allowed. Yeah, a bit early though. I've got some topics of interest for you Andy just things that you might want to consider talking about right I'll do a Peter Beasley because he's been in touch with me but I'll give you the topics and afterwards you can have a think computer repair centers is there any genuine expertise within them mmm that you maybe wanna talk.

Your favorite section of a garden center, another topic. Farming, interactions with farms, farmers. TV history, but what I mean is, can you remember some of the old models and styles of TV and match them up with the programs you'd be watching at the time. Right. It's just topics of interest. I'll come back to these later on you say?

Yeah. If you're interested in any of them. No I'll come back later on, I like the sound of all of them. Okay well Peter sent me in his latest vlog. Blog. Cog. Yeah. What format's it on?

Is it a WAV? it doesn't say wav it's got like a smiley face and a musical note above it I think it might be called tag or I'm just finding the music hey don't get don't get Marty about it so long time since I've heard from Peter be interested to hear what he's got to say. Alright Bob, a long time since we spoke and I thought I'd get in touch and tell you what's been going on and that and all that and everything, you know what I mean? So some bit of a damped squib really spent a lot of time just staring out a spare bedroom window to be honest. I saw a squirrel do that thing where they run round and round and round and round and round the trunk of a tree, you know. Then the most number of laps that I saw him do

in one burst was seven. So, yeah. In between the rain and the wind, I got out to the local shops quite a bit, you know. One time I bought a Ginx's Pasty and a tropical Oasis drink from the the foreign owned garage and went over to the retail park for kind of picnic you know I call it a sneak peek bomb because if the wife found out I was fannying about staring in the

retail park she kicked me head clean off put it in a box near an electricity substation you know like in that film Seven which actually, one thing about it Bob, same number of laps that that squirrel did you know you see everything is connected Bob you know just that's my own I'm not a fan of the a bit on approaches like but turns quite wrotely when it gets warm and I don't find that very appealing not visually anyway so anyway so one Sunday afternoon it was I asked the wife if it would be okay if a couple of me mates came around for a barbecue in the garden she said it's okay as long as I made sure that the smoke blew toward the Albanian fella's garden next door and that we kept noise down as she was in the middle of escape to country marathon like you know she likes making

spewing up noises if she thinks the house they're looking round is a duffer like you know anyway so I'm right here in the Mart Lomson and it's the future of Grealish now. Her wife said to me, if that Grealish trips up and damages any of my fucking property I'll lamp it, I'll lamp it right in his fucking high arse with me fly mo. Well I said well darling you'll love her, I'll keep an eye on him and I said he's a lot better since she joined Man City. And Pep Gladiola told him to stop acting like a fart in the bottle, you know. So, Mark and Jack announced their arrival with a ring on the doorbell.

Ring, ring went the doorbell. I answered the door in me prick with a fork apron that the wife bought me. I immediately saw that Jack had fallen and laid out flat in the flower border. So I gave him a stent to suggest I was right angry and he got up sharpest. Sharpest. I'm really sorry Mr Beasley, it's just that the doorbell noise gave me a right fright and before I knew it was on the deck. It's all right Jack, I said just get up sharp and shit like you had before the wife gets

some seizure. What's that you said Peter? What you say? What were you talking to? What you saying? Shouted the wife mate from the hallway. Oh nothing love, just hit the? shouted the wife Mike from the hallway Oh nothing love, just hit the mark that the wife will be pleased to see you, you know

Oh is Mark here? Oh well do invite him in my love and inquire us to whether he wants any of her eggs Um alright thanks Barbara, my wife and I had avocado on toast this morning, I'm FTP but thanks to Divity Duda Sultanis for the offer. I see you've got your nephew with you Mark, can you try and ascertain that he doesn't do any tumbles Mark, in fact can we get him out as pleasantly as possible? So I got Mark and Jack out the back door and got on me cooking the burgers and sausages. I told Jack to sit down and have a beer and not get up unless he was asked to.

Ah, I see you've got a squirrel or two in you guys in Peter. Do they give you problems with your bird feeder? I see you've got a squirrel or two in you guys in Peter. Do they give you problems with your bird feeder? Sometimes, you know, but I'm not really bothered. If they eat it up, I just put more peanuts in. It gets me out of the house, you know. Barbara can't stand them. She sits on the patio some days in a fox outfit to discourage them.

Problem is, she soon nods off and the squirrels use her chair to jump up to the theatre. Hey, that I saw one this morning and it ran round the trunk seven times under the truck. Impressive sight, isn't it? I believe the record number of trunk laps ever recorded is 16. Can you imagine that Peter? I bet Roy Castle popped his trumpet for a weak solid when that news came in. Yeah I expect so. Anyway at that point I turned around to see Mark's nephew Jack and downed all six bottles of Peroni what I had bought for the barbecue. Well yelp Jack, we'd have meant to be two bottles each, now there's nothing left for me and your uncle. Sorry Mr Beasley, it's just the sizzling sound of the sausages made me really thirsty. Sorry about him Peter, some sounds are just triggers for his thirst.

Sizzling sausages, the little buzz you get from a dimmer switch, the crinkly sound the Belinda wipe makes when you crunch it up pre-wipe. Very sorry. Jack, can you put those empties in the bin please? No, no, no, it's okay. You stay where you are Jack. I don't want you moving about especially when you're half pissed. So I put the bottles in the bin and then Mark tended to the burgers and the sausages.

I love pressing them into the grill and watching the fat seep out. Reminds me of when I was a kid and I used to squeeze insects. Well at this moment a wife appeared at the door with a big bottle of Aldi cider. Do you mind if I join you? It's such a lovely afternoon and I so love watching Mark at the grill in his tight, almost metallic silver shirt. Of course not, Carol. Jack, get up and give Carl your seat. Oh well that was a worry. I've been a pissed greenish up off the seat. But I was too scared to see out there. Oh fiddling with sticks. I've spilled some burger mayo on the grill hood.

Don't worry though I've got some travel melindas in my pocket. So Mark takes a blender wipe out of his travel pack. And crunches it up to clean up the spillage leg well as you are probably guessed Bob this triggers Jack and he leaps over to the wife grabs the sider out of her hands and downs the lot in one he throws the bottle into the lawn and shouts peps a f***ing nightmare what's in his voice peps a f***ing nightmare don't be fooled by the jumper that's not Brummie peps a f***ing nightmare don't be fooled by the jumper that's not Brummie peps a fucking nightmare don't be fooled by the jumper and he falls backwards on the

wife's miniature wooden windmill that has some weeds growing out the top window like Jack what have you done why do you always have to embarrass me fuck off uncle it was you that crinkled the... that's not a fuck Brummie's fuck off uncle it was you that crinkled the... Oh fuck, Brummies. Fuck off uncle, it was yous what crinkled the Belinda. Well, well her wife is off the chair now and she's got the deathly cob on. She walks over to the grill, grabs the tongs off Mark. I'm thinking oh Jack is for it now, but she strides straight over to me. You useless helmet-headed flat-faced fucker, I told you to supervise that disaster of a boy

and what what do you do? You're getting pissed. This is your fault you dreary fork and dial. And then she gave me three very sharp hits in the face, with the business end of the tongs off, looking hurt like hell like. Was that really necessary Carol? Oh you're fucking chirping in are you? George you want, did you want some? Cos I'll fuck you up good and proper if you fucking do like. Ah come on Jack we'd better leave, we can get some lettuce leaves for the rabbits on our way

and if you're good I'll get you a Kinder egg. Oh sure that was the barbecue that really me and her wife had a pleasant time after really I griddled half a dozen eggs I had a couple of burgers and three sausages yeah. They're not real friends, Peter. Come the crunch, there's only me that'll stand by you. I know, love. You're a good lad, Peter. Dorsey is a fucking wheelbarrow, but your heart's in the right place. Hey, that squirrel just did 17 fucking laps of that tree trunk.

Well, I thought I never! That's a new record, that love! Ah Bobby, it was the best day of the summer. Anyway, I thought I'd tell you about it and... ...maybe I'll give you a couple of jokes from your joke book and all like. Er, here's one here, now it's a good one. I remember the first time sorry I remember the first time I ever came across a universal remote control well this changes everything I thought. I asked the wife I said can I watch the TV?

Yes she said, but don't fucking dare turn it on. What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs. You know, it's just a door to a late night sport. Ron Peter Beasley, there's only Ron Peter Beasley. See you Bob. Well, that Ron Peter Beasley, see you Bob. Well that was Peter. Having a barbecue. Nice update, yeah, very nice.

["What's Behind The Door?" by The Bachelorette plays.] What's behind the door? Yes or no, yes or no? What's behind the door? I don't know. I don't fucking know! I suppose I'm playing, am I? The return of What's Behind the Door has been a while, but I'll remind you of how it goes. I'm going to tell you three things and you've got to decide whether you want to go through the door and have a closer look at them. Alright. Or not. Can I look at them all?

You can have a look at all of them. Alright. Have a look at none of them. It's up to you. No, no. Alright? No, no, no, no, no. Go on then.

Door number one. We open it up and what do we see? It's Raymond, the 13th biggest dog in the world. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. No no no no no no. No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No?

No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? No? and he's letting a rat run up and down both of his arms. The brim of his baller hat is full of bacon rind for it to feed on and he is of course very shit-faced. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't like the rat element. I'm going to see you frighten of the rat aren't you? I'll stick with the gob shite Andy. Yeah, okay, that's fair enough then one out of one out of three is not bad.

So Andy do you want to go back to any of them topics of interest or you're not interested in them much? I'm interested in all of them to be quite honest. You want to go through them one by one? Well these computer repair centers, you know, repair your laptops and phones and everything. Do you think there's any expert expert my experience has been that if you take a laptop in they just say we'll have a look at it over you know phone you up in a couple of days we'll say it's the hard drive and charge you a

couple hundred quid to put a new hard drive in is that your own you are driving I generally I've just got a new laptop whenever a laptop's broken simple as that you know simple as that you just they tend to last a while when I have a laptop. I don't know what you're doing to yours or something like, something gets spilled in it. Spillages and that stuff. That's that, it's fucked. I think so. I don't know. I don't know. I just think there's some little you know grift being worked you know like anyone can just open up a phones repaired, computers repaired. They're not all experts in repairing in repairing I I max or whatever. I think there's got to be some expertise there at least a little bit even if it's only to get

the thing opened up. Okay. You're not having the right screwdrivers. That's a very good point. So thank you. That's a very good point and my question was is there any genuine expertise and you're right they can open the fucking things up Yeah So another one was any interaction with farms or farmers or farming, you know in your life that you'd like to talk about get off your chest Nothing nothing I really want to Share with you. Have you ever been on a farm the proper working farm? No, I don't think I have you ever been on a farm the proper working farm no I don't

think I have I've been on you know like kiddie farms where you take the kids along and there's like sheep for them to feed out the bottle and all that kind of thing okay I've been a few of them over the years but not not a standard working farm how about you well is this not about you well I was asking you said to me you'd like to talk about all of them and then I asked bring up farming, you throw it right back in me first, like a great big foot... Well I didn't know what you... what you wanted from us... Well, farming! Have you anything to say about farms? Farmers are farming.

Nah, just best to look to them. Okay, well do you want some of the viewers' questions then instead? Yeah, let's do that go on then I'll start I'll start right go on Carly Mendoza have you cracked out the winter jumpers yet what's your fav jumper because everyone has one have you got a favorite jumper Bob oh well I do have one yeah it's a like a thick blue woolen polo neck a bit like yeah Guadialas you know. I've had it a few years. It's getting a bit saggy but

then you know Andy I am as well so it's a good friend. Yeah. Yourself? Mine is it's a kind of a dark green with a tinge of brown in it again it's not a polo neck, it's just a standard round neck. But yeah, I do like to wear that when I'm out, say, with the dog or going on a shorter and on foot. So yeah. I haven't cracked it out yet. Like, I'm still wearing shorts at the minute, Bob. Yeah. Short season's still on. Yeah, I refuse to wear it.

It's been a nice day today, up down where I am. I refuse to revert trousers until October. Fair enough. Alan what is the king of the chocolate biscuit? He says whoa I mean my initial reaction is the time out. I like the time out. Andy? Time out is very good because there's a lot of chocolate in it. For me it's the the classic biscuit is the McVitie's plain chocolate digestive. Cannot be beaten by any other biscuit now or in the past. Did you know there's a bit of a controversy about the McVitie's? Oh, are you going to tell me something horrible about them, are you?

No, everyone's adamant that they've changed the recipe recently and that they're not as good. And the word is is that you should try the M&S plain chocolate one I did that I found it a bit gritty mmm I've not noticed any change that would warrant me trying to go to M&S well the M&S is too far away anyway can't we do any of that fair enough nah he's the one from ash do you have a favorite oven temperature i tend to go for 180 as a standard or 190 if i'm in a hurry only setting the temperature by packaging in special circumstances so he's just cooking everything at 180 i think he's

got i think he's onto something really i basically do that i cook them i cook If I'm in my air fryer I do 170 but 180 in the oven yeah yeah 170 is the 180 of the of the air fryer isn't it? To be honest yeah so I think he's right. It's all guesswork. That's what I do. It's all guesswork. Michael Shepard says which cereal do you enjoy but crucially why? I like Lucky Stars because they make me feel like a kid and there's a lot of texture contrast which I find very very pleasant in the morning. I've nothing else to say about that other than that I also like the two dull cereals Shredded Wheat and Weetabix if you put fucking bucket loads of sugar on them. Right, as we know I like to butter me Weetabix.

Fuck yeah. We've gone back years with this. I also enjoy the childlike feeling of Frosties. Very nice. Very nice. This one from Morgan Kenning. This is for both of us I think, individually. Do you think you're more of a shit, an asshole or a nubhead? Oh well I really, I hope I'm a shit. That's what I've been working to all my life so I hope so.

Really? Yeah? Yeah I would like to. You want people to come along and interact with you and go God he was a shit. Yep. Well no. Yeah I'm, I'm an asshole mate. You're an asshole yeah. Well I can see that. I'm an asshole.

I can see that. Yeah. It's not hard to see is it? Yeah. We'll have some more questions from the listeners television and radio presenter, who also has a regular column in The Guardian where he deals with some of the most mundane subjects you could possibly imagine. And it's got a bit of a cult following in some respects and it's also quite loathed by a lot of other people. But I thought I'd run some column titles by you and you can tell me if it's Charles or not Charles. Okay I've got you.

First one. Have I told you about the time I split my trousers? Charles or not Charles? Not Charles. It was Charles! Ah man! That was an actual column Adrian Charles wrote in The Guardian. Next one. I think I've become addicted to dry roasted peanuts. Charles or not Charles?

Not Charles. Not Charles. Correct. That was actually a column that I wrote about myself. Next one. Enough's enough. It's time that the internet closed down each night at 10pm. Charles or not Charles?

Charles. Oh, it's not Charles. Who was that then? I'm pretty good at this. Dad's made up. Here's another one. How do you get a chatty friend to shut up? I think I have found the answer. Charles.

Correct it is Charles. And finally, how can I get my whites white should I be doing my laundry at 40 60 90 Charles not child Charles oh it is child you got do you get three out of five there three out of five I'm very happy with that you got more right than you got wrong so I'm alright with that. Oh Andy I was listening to Talksport, Jim White, Simon Jordan and they had a good guest on so I thought I'll tape this and it was alright so I'll play it for you. That's a nice thing to do with a recording to play it isn't it Andy? That's a nice thing to do with the recording, to play it isn't it? And the best thing to do with it I think. So yeah here we go just press play now look.

You're not going to believe who is our next guest this morning. I have literally broken my ball sack into 1000 delightful shreds to secure his presence on the show today. To say I'm excited is the biggest understatement of the decade. I am beside myself, above myself and inside myself and it feels good. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, the heavy metal man, the blackburn cowboy Mr. Gareth Ainsworth. Alright Jim. So Gareth, what do you say? What do you actually say when you say things? Well mainly I say keep your jeans tight, play guitar all night. How's that for you? That is incredible. Such a salient and perceptive insight. It makes me want to go straight out

and buy some skinnies and a fender Mustang. Screw the sport, let's rock. What say you, Simon? Well, from the point of view of the optics suggested by the statement, it seems like an economical way of progress without disenfranchisement of the fan base. Well said, Simon. I think we can all agree with that. What about the trademark hairstyle Gareth? It's pretty wild and if you don't mind me saying rebellious, what's all that about? What is it all about? And I'm not talking to Alfie here, you know, I'm talking to you Gareth Ainsworth, is it about anything other than the hairstyle? It's a point of difference and it's what I'm used to.

If I feel comfortable with it and what's the problem? The lads take the mick out of it and I'm fine with that. I don't mind showing a bit of vulnerability. If I look like a clown then maybe people will underestimate me. I don't know. Maybe it's just a hairstyle What say you Simon my love my prince my golden biscuit my strawberries and cream It's a hairstyle Jim that much is self-evidenced by itself

But it's also a brand and without a brand there's not a shadow nor a snowball betwixt man and his conscience it's not fad for that reason I approve oh I think we can all agree with that Simon my prince I have to ask you Garth about your daft pointy boots in your satin shirt is there something of the cowboy about you have you lost your horse um and had to walk is the shirt dry clean only do you lost your horse and had to walk? Is the shirt dry clean only? Do you put your hand inside the boots when you clean them? Is the shirt a true satin or a man-made fabric? Might the boots explode if they overheat? So many questions for after the break. See you in a mo' after this message.

Claim, claim, claim, claim, now now now now it's an eith idea from Hobson to Freer need to sue someone for big bucks yeah what I could certainly do with the cash how do I go about it just tell us who's bringing you down I'm messing you about and that's it we issue a writ demanding compo and you just sit back and wait for the payout it can't be that simple surely hey watch it mate you're beginning to get on our tits you don't want a writ dropping through your letter box do you no way well then give us a name any name and let's get started let's sue the shit out of someone and go halvesies on the cash okay I'll do it my boss Alan Forbes

he's always on me back about something sounds perfect let's bring Alan Forbes down into the gutter. Cleeb, Cleeb, Cleeb, Cleeb. Now, now, now, now. It's a neat idea from Hobbs and De Freer. I'd stop taping after that, Andy, I'm sorry. Well, what happened then? Did you have to get on to try and get someone sued? Did it sound like me in the advert? Well, I don't know. Maybe you heard the advert and thought there's someone you fancied suing, was it me? Do you want to sue me?

I don't want to sue you man, but if I do I'll get onto claim, claim, claim, claim, now, now, now, now. Have you got anything you want to address me with about? Yeah, that film that I'm in came out today in the cinemas on UK general release Bob. Yeah? Yeah, it's called The Old Oak, directed by Ken Lurch. And I've had such an effect on him that it's going to be his final film. So that's out today.

I imagine you'll probably go and see it over the weekend, yeah? Probably will, yeah. Maybe see it a couple of times, a couple of different screens. How long are you in it for winning for seconds wise do you reckon? It's somewhere between 13 and 18 seconds. Are you kidding me? Is that all you're in for? Well, I mean, you know, you don't too much of a good thing there. Did the cut loads of shit Correct to shit so I think it was shit. They just kept it all in So do you say anyway, I've got I've got a line yeah I've got one

clear line. I think I do a bit of mumbling as well at one point. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no film for me I'm gonna get membership so I recorded the conversation so you can hear what how it went okay thank you it's interesting hello showbiz center Milky Jackson speaking oh hi yeah um yeah I was just calling to update you about my membership application. No, there's no need.

Do you not need my name? Oh, yeah, go on then. It's Andy Dawson. Yeah, still hasn't been processed. But I've done some new showbiz work recently so I thought that would... What is it? Because if you've become a juggler that's not gonna count. No, I've been in a film. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Well, a bit of a script well a bit of a script but a lot of it was like workshopped improvised right right so not a proper film then does some people pretend it to be themselves no it's got proper story and it's got real actors in it and a big reasonable budget and everything right where was it film is it Hollywood East Durham not a proper film then oh come on I'm desperate to get in the short biz center surely being in a film counts. How long are you on screen for? It's about 18 seconds. Yeah I know it's not much. Look I

tell you what there's a few proper actors in here I'll ask one of them. Well done. Joe, quiet. I've got that flat on the phone. Once a membership says he's been in a film, no script, on screen for 18 seconds. I think it was filmed in a ditch or something and it sounds like they just got him to wear his own clothes for it. What do you reckon? Joe Swash? Hello? Joe Swash says no. Right. Fair enough. Thanks for nothing. I'll just hang up after that. You know I'm much luck and I promise it's not anything to do with me.

The sad thing is the showbiz centre man it's rocking at the moment honest well I've heard that you could get me in just by just saying the word no if I could no no no no no no no no no right thanks for listening everybody yeah thank you everyone for listening! See you next time! reliable internet perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers.