Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 51: The Power Of Nine

Episode Date: December 11, 2025

Numbers, Ferry, a quiz, chicken in a hot car, a pie quest, a piano engine, Crime Files, and more.(Originally recorded for Club Parsnips on 8/3/25 https://www.patreon.com/c/athleticomince) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Right, they're honkie-tong. Honkie-Tong, it is here. It's coming to you direct from the south of England. You're up north and there's a very good clue. On your T-shirt, Andy. Yeah. Describe it to our viewers. I'm just counting them.

It's got nine, that's nine different images of Sunderland AFC, Home and Away kits from over the years. Some of them go back a bit. Yeah, I think the first. The first one's probably the 973 cup winning one, and then we leap into the 80s with the one with cowies. All right, Andy. All right, Andy.

I'm more interested in the fact that there's nine. Nine, you wouldn't ever buy nine bananas, would you? I'm trying to think what you're getting nines. Nine's a curious number. Nine's a lot. Nine's a lot. I would never buy, no, you're right. You can get seven bananas.

You could buy seven. That's all. Or you could buy nine. if you want to do. Oh, I found one, I know one. Andy, sorry to interrupt because I got so excited. For some reason, your multi-packs of 12 bars in Sainsbury's are packs of nine. So there you go.

I'm really happy about that. That's like what? Like shrinkflation, so they've come down from 12. They were 12 now, they're 9. Probably, yeah. Yeah. Nine little bars. This is weird because speaking of 9, to deer, right, to deer is a very special deer.

It is nine years to the day since we did the first episode of this here podcast. Bloody fuck, I'd say. Bloody fuck. Yeah, I would have to say that. Nine, nine years. Do you remember anything about that occasion? Were we in each other? I can't really, Andrew, to be honest with you, can you?

All I can remember is that I had at least one can of stellar art war. Stella. And it was something like 11 in the morning. Is Stella strong still or is it now quite junior compared to the new ones? You know what? It's gradually come down

to about 4.6% but you can now get Stella unfiltered which is back up to 5%. Well go on Andy. That's a nice breakfast beverage isn't it? It sure is. My association with the number nine

I was I think I lived on My first house, my main family house was in number nine. And the second one with number nine is I was always told by this old bloke with a bald head and a very wide mouth who went in the Buckees when I was young. If the Buckees were ever offering nine to one, you should take it because it'll be a winner. And I don't know whether he was on to something or whatever, but I don't know if you've noticed Buckees very rarely offer nine to one. Ah, some... Maybe some spooky superstition.

Final thing I must say is that, just because it's hit me, this week, I did a guest appearance on Inside Number 9 and the live show. So there's another 9. Okay, so there we are. It's the week of 9s. Yeah, well... I wanted to talk about, just briefly, before we get into anything major,

boiled eggs are now a more popular meal deal snack than crisps. No. You know the little pots, where you get two hard boiled eggs in a pot. I get them a lot, yeah. You know I do. I've seen you eating them. I've seen you eating them in the past.

Tesco customers now, the number one snack used to be McCoy's flame grilled steak crisps and now it's the two boiled eggs. That's deposed. Whoa. I mean, I'm not saying I necessarily believe it, Andrew, but it's incredible.

I shouldn't doubt you, but do you know it wasn't that long ago that shops weren't allowed to sell boiled eggs separately. Maybe about eight years ago or something. Something like that. I like a boiled egg. Something you do with coming out of the EU

has, you know, opened the doors. No, I don't think it was that. I don't think it was that. Let me, do you think, lamb shanks, Andy, I think, do you think the shit? No, I like lamb shanks. Fuck on hell, man. What's from where lamb shanks?

Girl, I used to give them to old pets when I was young. There's some sort of marketing operating. Any fucking form of lamb. I had some lamb at the Toby Carver because it was a Saturday and there lamb on the menu. Whoa. And now I've never had lamb down the Toby.

Down the Toby. Listen up, Andy. I'm just interrupted because I had such a lovely surprise because Brian Ferry sent me one of the songs. You know, he's furious with the Premier League. Absolutely furious. Got himself all worked up again.

so he's done one of his songs so best at I play it because then it might release all the pressure on him he's feeling you know I hope so yeah he didn't send me any music so it's just a cappella as it were here we go

our tethers on the rant again he understands the game better than anyone and Bournemouth a fifth and nobody gives a fuck and just Ang's on the rant again He's treated worse than anyone else in the world is

And meanwhile the fans Are treated like Todd's in a shit farm And meanwhile in the championship The teams that go Come down, go up again And ten fucking clubs want to Destroy the EFL The 10 clubs are

in fact they're having a lovely time Liverpool born with West Ham Nottingham Forest Palestine Oh Wolves Tottenham Villa Arsenal And obviously for King Chelsea There you go so I hope you feel a bit better now Brian if you're listening

Yeah I'm a nice nice Hark back to our origins as a football podcast there I felt that he kind of padded that out, which by listing lots of clubs towards the end. Well, that's always his chorus, you know. It's, um, good. That's just the way it is, I bought his, um, well, I didn't buy,

you don't buy anything anymore. Do you music wise? I, um, downpiped. Accessed. Accessed the, has got a huge new album like called retrospective or something. Yeah. It's great, isn't it?

It's not bad at all, is it? It's, oh, there's some great stuff. He's massively underrated. Is the, is the, is the, is the ferry. Yeah. I was in a record shop in Portsmouth last week. Don't ask why, I'm not going to tell you.

But I spent 65 quid on 21 records. Oh, that's good. Great time. I just had a great time. I was in there for like over an hour. It's called RPM, South Sea. Well, good for RPM for sticking at it.

There's a plug for them. And I had a wonderful time just browsing. There's so much good stuff. No Brian Ferry, but yeah, you know. Topics of interest, Andrew, I'm going to offer up. He's up to you.

Restless Leg syndrome, imaginary, are all too real? I'm hearing a lot about that these days. Well, maybe it's, maybe it's piquet interest. Is it worth buying frozen Donner meat slices? It's a topic, you know. Is there any possible use for dog dirt? Do you prefer a snicker, this is a bit radioed too, a snicker at room temperature or out of the fridge? Yeah, any comment on that, none?

I'm into all of them. Do you want to do them now or come back of them later on? Well, I have got a final one, knee pads in your toolbox, essential or space wasters. I like all of those topics. I like all of them. If we're struggling, we'll come back to them, yeah. Do you want a true or false quiz? Yeah, go on, do it.

It's that one I used to do a while ago where if you get it right, I'll become Ringo star and say free sweeties. Okay, got you. From Ringo's famous catchphrase, which was the best thing about being in the Beatles was all the free sweeties. Right.

That's what he used to say all the time. Or if you get it wrong, I'll become Boisey from Only Fowse and Horses. Nice. And say, Marlene! Right, so that's the parameters. Did you go and see Only Fools and Horses when it was up north? Nah, didn't say it, because Whitehouse wasn't in it.

I wasn't bothered. No, he's not bothered. He didn't come to the Sunland one. He's done quite a few of the regional ones, but not Sondland. So I saw it as... Boycott it, then, yeah? Personal snub, basically. Have you ever been to...

Have you ever beaten a Mangaro's? Yes, I've beaten Manjaro's good. What did you get? Can't remember. It was that good, was it? Anyway, come on, carry on. True or false. I'm ready. Is Manjaro's national?

Mangaro's. It's in, I think, started in the middle of a thing. Yeah, I think it did. Anyway. True or false? Scientists, that's the key word here, I think, in this one, scientists, have developed rechargeable batteries from crab shells. True or false?

True. Free Sweeties. Yes, true. You got that one, right. Well done. Second one. The world's fastest ice cream van is owned by Dave Stewart from the Eurmix. True or false?

It's owned by a celebrity, but is it Dave Stewart, Andy? True. Free sweeties. Again, it is true. He does own the world's fastest ice cream van. The world's lowest ever parachute jump was from. 31 metres. True or false? True.

Marlene! I'll be honest, I've tricked you a bit. It was actually 26 metres. Righty-oh. You just thought you needed a false in there, didn't you? I just wanted to try and defeat you in some way, yeah. Chimpanzees are better at difficult tasks when they're being watched. True, false. True. Free sweeties.

I ain't not doing. as well, finally, there is no mention of the year 1948 on the internet. True or false? False, Andy. Marlene! It's actually true. You can have a look yourself. No mention whatsoever of 1948.

Yeah. I was driving through Sunderland last week, Andy. Oh, I should, I'll introduce this. Do you know, I'm, I'll look on my computer if you're not careful. I got on your fuck I know you can't that's why I'm not going to I um I got an unusual incident actually happened

you know they come along every now and then I was driving through Sunland last week when I was up there and um a belt on my engine it's a big belt at the front

that like it powers the aircon probably other things as well power steering and stuff and it snapped and me cabin. Do you call it a cabin in a car? The cabin? Cockpit cabin. I think it just gets called the interior.

I don't like that. I'd prefer a cabin. Yeah. The cabin of my car started getting really hot. And Andy, I don't mean like, you know, a bit like you're driving through the desert. I mean, I'm talking like about maybe 120 degrees or something. Jesus Christ. No, I ain't kidding you on.

And I've got worried that I might actually start to. cook because I thought to myself I cook meat at that sort of temperature. Yeah, and you are meat, aren't you? At the end of the day, yeah, we're meat and water. And I thought my skin might start to crisp up or something. And the worst thing was, to me left on my passenger seat, I had a chicken quarter that was like my car meat for the journey. And I could see that it was beginning to leak, like, residues, onto my seats.

Now, the leather seats, Andy, as you can imagine with me. Right, so that's not an emergency. You could clean them up if you are. Your car had basically turned your cabin of your car. I'd turned into a huge air friar then. Is that what you said? Yeah. And if I'd opened a window, it would have circulated it just like an air friar.

Yeah. So, Andy, you've got to be careful with, actually, with leather seats because they're very absorbent. So anyway, don't worry about it. I popped a Belinda White under the meat so that took a bit of a worry about that off my shoulders

This area you might know Andy was called Is it Hilton? Hilton? Hilton? Yeah. Was it South Hilton or North Hilton Castle? Oh I don't know

It was like Well there was a garage there Proper garage There's a sort of like Industrial bit there Do you know it? It's the Hilton Castle I reckon Yeah

He spotted the bloke opened up he was called Gary Gary Gary and Gary Bagg I think 2 G's but Gary Bagg He had the full blue boiler suit You know in a really nice fat

Plump Bar so I knew he was proper mechanic Opened up the bonnet Spotted it straight away Simple job but he needed to get the part And he said I'd have to wait about an hour I was just chuffed that he was willing to do it And I was so pleased

I said would he like the quarter chicken because it was a little bit on the turn and he said he might told me to take a seat in the little waiting room where do you think this is going Andrew I have my thoughts but I'd rather not say at this point can I just confirm that I was right or wrong later on

yeah okay I'll trust you on that he was on the turn he said he might have told me to sit in the waiting room there was a little carton of milk on the little table in there and a kettle but nothing else, nothing to sit on. So I sat on the turbo next to the milk, right? I had to move the milk a bit, Andrew, to make space to sit down.

So you probably gathered that, did you? Yeah. Yeah. That was an exciting part of the story, wasn't it, Andy? It was a feature. Anyway, about 10 minutes later, I was bored stiff, so I had a little walk around the area, and I don't know if you know it

I came across this little microbrewery Taproom place you could try the beer I have a plate of cured meat salami chorizo Bill Tong you know that sort of thing Oh we're all about that in Sunland now Yeah yeah all of that

So I popped inside They had a little retail section selling the cans and the meats So I bought myself a nice Milano salami Just then my phone rang And Ron Bagg told me my car was ready So back at the the garage I couldn't see Ron so I went into the waiting room.

He came in a couple of minutes later, holding me cup chicken quartering one hand and a torque wrench in his other hand. All right, Ron. Oh man, that was quick. Thank you so much. Can I just interrupt? Is that all right?

Is there any reason why Gary Bags has changed his name to Ron Bags at the midway point of this story? Maybe it was his brother. Let's say it's his twin. It's his twin Ron. Oh, that was fairly quick. Thanks, Ron.

And, you know, give me thanks to Gary as well. Sure he worked on it. And he says, How fucking dare you? Oh. Oh, I didn't say. He's one of them Dutch South African, you know, Afrikaans, blocs.

Oh, you didn't mention that. Sorry, I should have. I said, well, what's up, Ron? He said, What's up? How dare you try and foisted this rancid chicken section onto me? Remove your strides and undercracks and bend over the milk table.

I said, why, Ron, why? Why have a dedicated milk table? And also, I promise, the chicken's fine. It's only in its early, like, it's only in an early turn. It's perfectly safe to eat. Down fucking sweet talk me with your fancy hard gene sorens. Get on the table. Punch your highness up towards the wall-mounted insecticuter.

You know those, you know them, Andy. Well, what was I meant to do? You'd be twice my size. It was big ass and that. and he's tooled up with the torque wrench. So obviously I took my trousers off, bent over the table. And he handed me the chicken quarter. Oh, God.

Yeah. Now feed the chicken into your eye. I said, the reasonable pace. We'll soon see if it's edible or not. So I started, I put the little wing bit, you know, and he stopped me. He said, sing some rock and roll to accompany the insert. So I sang, you know, like,

one full money, two full of shoes. See, he's waiting a go, get-go, but don't you step on my pussy choose. Now, start feeding. I want to see that lamp of sick paltry completely disappear. Well, just then, the bloat from the brewery appeared, the door holding the salami, because I had left it behind in his shop. Give me that shouted, Ron. That's perfect to introduce it to the action.

He says, why you're making them do that? I hope you've got a fucking shoe on Well Ron ran over to him And tried to grab the salami But the brewery bloke Roundhouse kicked him Knocked him out cold So thanks mate

I mean mate you really think He would have made me You know shove it all in He said why I He's well known for it Gangbangers You gotta love him You fancy popping down

Mangaro's tonight Thankfully He'd already replace the belt so I drove off without pain. But given what he made me do, I think that's fair enough, to be honest, Andy. Salami was lovely, by the way. I had it with some sardines on toast.

Nice. And that detail's probably the second best bit of the story after the milk table. There you go. Unusual, isn't it? I did correctly predict that it was going to be some South African involvement. I mean, I think you got off lightly with a chicken wing

or whatever it was, a chicken quarter, because you've had a guitar up there in the past. Can we have some questions from the past, nipers? Have we got any? We have got some. I sent you some earlier this morning. Oh, I didn't see them. Sorry, Andy, I've got some... I'll start with one while you're having a look.

We've got one here from Jamie Smith-Dreson. When was the last time you were in a bus station? Now, there's a question. My only memory of a bus station is I went to the opening of Middlesbrough bus station and would be the very, very early 70s. And is it Pat someone from Coronation Street? Pat Phoenix? Pat Phoenix did the opening.

And she paraded around in an open top car. She was a glamorous woman. Pat Phoenix. Do you know, I have been in the bus stations. I mean, it was the, you know, in the old days, it's how you got around, won't it? Well, yeah. I mean, bus stations were kind of second homes back in the day.

I'd still use them. I do get the bus into town, into Sunland now and again. Yeah. If I'm going out drinking, because, you know, that's the best way to do it. So, yeah, I'm always in bus stations.

Who do you drink with? Just me mates. We usually go to Mangaro's. Why don't you go on Mangaro's tonight? I might too. The thing about Mangaro's is, right, or at least the one in Sunland is, it hasn't got an alcohol licence,

but they're quite happy for you to take your own booze in. Right. And then the one in Sunland, they'll even tell you where the nearest place to get your booze. loses. That's Manjaro's. That's the Manjaro's way. You go in there and you order your grub and they'll say, get yourself around to

Amy's Winehouse, which is a genuine off-licensed in the centre of Sunland. But they say that's not the best one, the one next door at Amy's Winehouse is the best one, price-wise. So you can't fault service like that, can you? That's Manjaro's. We're beginning to sound like we're sponsored by, and there might be a terrible operation, I don't know. Matt Birkin as do bats have tales

My answer to that would be Dober's shop in Aldi? Do you know what I mean? We did that one in the last episode You're looking at the wrong set of questions Well, there you've got it again. Yeah, Harry Frye says Is a chicken bulty pie a good or bad thing?

My missus says it sounds revolting. Personally, I think it's a work of art. I agree with Harry, a chicken balty pie is sensational. Have you had one at the football before? I never had one, Andy, no. It sounds all right. You should try them. They're good.

Pie-wise, I'm currently me and my son are in search for a crunchy pork pie. You know, crunchy munchy, crunchy munchy. Because my memory is that pork pies, you know, the thing about pork pies is it's quite hard, the crust. But they seem to have softened them. The industry seems to have softened them. Are you looking at individual ones or a large one that you can cut up? Individual ones. So we squeeze them, see if we can find one.

We got one decent one. I was on my way at Portsmouth to watch the borough, and we got a decent one at an M&S. But I haven't been able to repeat it with M&S. But I think it's true that, you know, that water-larid pastry, it should be nice and crunchy-wunchy, or at least crunchy-munchy.

It shouldn't be soft. It shouldn't be impossible to achieve. No. There you go. Two mentions of Portsmouth so far as well. We'll see if we're going to improve one that later on. John Sargent says, any interest in space travel? I ain't got any interest in space travel at all.

None whatsoever. No. I wasn't one of those kids who liked space or who liked fast cars, you know, that kind of thing, trains. I do remember that when the first ever space shuttle took off and I was at school, and they took us into the hall and they put the wheeled in the big telly

and we all got to watch the Spears Shuttle taking off for the first time and I think they said something like on the television and the booster rockets have now been ejected from the side of the shuttle and I turned to the lad next to me and I said oh yeah that's a good thing that that's good that the booster rockets have come off

and I was bullshit and I had no fucking idea I was trying to make myself sound like something kind of clever clogs and I was just a prick. I know nothing about space. Was it actually a terrible disaster or something? No, that one went up right. The disaster came about five years later, I think.

Someone called Michael says, how much money do you think has been lost in the chocolate bar industry by people paying at the pump? Oof! That's good. I would say none because the prices have absolutely rocketed

in the last few years. Well, according to you, they're all buying boiled eggs now, aren't they? Well, apparently. yeah there's better value for money probably a couple of boiled eggs for one pound 50 as opposed to a kit cat chunky I am I reckon one million pounds

absolute on the nose to the penny to the penny that's a good answer it's a good answer hey what's behind the door yes or no yes or no shut up what's behind the door I don't know I don't fucking know three doors for you right I'm going to tell you what's behind them

you can tell us if you want to go through and have a closer look you can choose all three you can choose none, you can choose one, you can choose two. There's no limits. So number one, behind the door, 125 retired traffic wardens. They are arranged in order of height, and they are all offering you the handshake of kindness.

But can you trust them? Any of them pissed? Nope. No, I don't want to see him. I don't like I'm Andy, you know, I mean, I think it's in built in us not to like them, really. Yeah, that's fair enough. I wouldn't trust their handshake.

That's why they're offering it. It comes with kindness, but you're not having it. Fair enough. Door number two, there's some really long hair. It's perfectly sized and shaped for you and you only, and you can have it grafted on painlessly, if you like. You're going in. Do I have to keep it really long?

Do what you want with it once it's on. You can shave it off. Getting cut, styled, whatever style you like. Yeah, I'll take it. He's having it? I'm having it. But I didn't know. He's having it.

He's having it. This seems to have changed. Andy, there used to be just how I can have a look at something, but now I get hand shakes, I get hair transplants. You get to go in. You get to go in, you do whatever's going on in there. Okay, I'll do that, yeah. All right. Third final

one, it's Ackerbilk. He's in there. He's kicking his way out of the insides, slash innards, slash guts, slash an engine of a grand piano. His hat is probably going to come off because he is immeasurably shit-first.

Yes, I'd like to go. go ahead and see that, thank you. You want to go and have a look at that. That's two out of three. I'm happy with that. You're happy with that. Proceed. What sort of size engine is it, the pianos have?

Is it just like a one, two, five, C, C or something? It's a grand piano, so it'll be like probably a one-liter. One-liter, a car engine, is it? Yeah. I suspect so, yeah. I would like to have a look at that. Crime files, Andy, what do you think? Yeah.

You could handle it. that. Achia can. Here goes then. Crime files. The leafy village of Lower Brambury is located in the heart of the Peak

District, 15 miles from the nearest motorway. With its post office community hall and village pub, it's regarded as one of the most peaceful, pleasant places to live in the UK. Or at least it was until the 22nd of November 2004 when it was

rocked to its very core by a terrible devastating incident. Nice, handy. Nestling in an old stable block off the high street was the nonsense pottery of nonsense potter Neil Hunt. It was early morning and Hunt was sipping from his second steaming mug of tea as he considered glazed color options for his new line of plant pot holders featuring a relief of his ex-wife's backside. When the shop door opened, An in-walked retired football analyst Mark Lawrenson, wearing a super tight gold, long-sleeved shirt and elasticated jeans, mail-ordered from the Daily Telegraph. Who are you? And what do you want?

You do realise that this is a nonsense pottery and not a drop-in centre for the terminally slack-minded, don't you? I do indeed, good sir. My name is Mark Larranson, and I'm here with a sensitive but potentially lucrative commission for you. Should you choose to accept it? Why are you talking like that? Are you from the Tudor period?

Has your brain taken a wander towards the dreary, meaning your word production resembles a parboiled sheep's tod? This is a nonsense pottery, not a mind realignment hub. Ah, I don't see the need for any hostility. I am just as God made me, sir. My good lady wife and wider family appreciate me. That's all I need. Well, I don't.

And you've already wasted too much of my precious time. What do you mean, by the way, lucrative commission? What do you actually want? What is it that you're doing here? What's your actual purpose? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.

Tell me. Why don't you tell me? Tell me. Why don't you tell me? I'll just get out. I'd like you to fashion a clay rabbit for me in the shape of my, the shape and size of my... my late and much missed companion and gainy.

Here, here's a photo of him with my wife Barbara. Mark hands over a photo of his wife Barbara, sitting in the garden and cradling a black rabbit as though it is a giant baby. He looks like he's riddled with mongue. So does she now that I take... Sorry.

So does she? So does she, now that I take a closer look, do they both have munge? Do you? Do you, do you have mongge? I can't have monged spores in my nonsense pottery. Come come now, Mr Potter man, there's no need to get a personal. Can you make me a memorial viny? Or can't you? No, I'm booked up solid until next August of the following year after.

The sign of your window says all commissions undertaken in six weeks or less. Oh, well that's out of date as of yesterday. I've had an influx. I don't believe you. Listen, I'm terrified you might be carrying second degree mons yourself. And the last thing I need at this lucrative time of you is Deffre crawling all over my premises. Now, can't, can't, kindly get out. Mark turns and sets the shop's door latch into the locked position and flips the open sign over so that it firmly suggests that the shop is in fact closed.

He stares at Neil and produces a packet of Belinda wipes from the pocket of his coat. Pulling the packet open, he grabs a handful of the wipes and smears them aggressively on and across his entire facial region. What's you doing? Trying to wap away the munch? Look, do you know who I am? I'm Neil Hunt Nonsense Potter. And for your information, my brother-in-law sells zombie cuddlery sets on the dark web and is on the waiting list for a Tesla cyber truck. Now get out of here or suffer the consequences. In a matter of seconds after applying the Belinda wipes to his face, Lawrence's entire appearance changes. His skin darkens and hairs begin to sprout from it.

Sorry. That's okay. Along with a set of impressive whiskers. From the top of his head, a fully formed pair of rabbitsie has emerged. His voice changes as he creeps towards the now terrified potter and unleashes a deadly threat. This is a calamitous day for you little man.

For you have a lot of you have a little man. Unleashed the spirit of Ingeny. Warrior Rabbit fears across much of the north of England from as far down as Mansfield and as far up as maybe South Shields. Prepare to breathe your last. Lawrence and Slash Nungini looms over Neil, who has stumbled backwards

and is now crouched in the corner of his showroom. The hybrid man-beast has also been wiping his hands with the Belinders, and rabbit claws have now sprung from where his fingers should be. Neil finds himself thinking that he's in fact got no idea whether or not rabbits have claws but assumes that they must do given this latest development. All you had to do was render me in clay form for the next gentleman, but instead you got old Marty. No, I'm afraid it's time for you to die. Oh why, why is it always little old me? I use my thermal drone camera to inform the police,

the police about suspected cannabis farms and I return all of my out-of-date antibiotics to the local pharmacist. Neil wondered if this is really it and a small amount of involuntary urine leaked from his worthless penis soaking and staining his brown slacks. He briefly ponderes that his second mug of tea of the morning was probably an indulgence too far. Of course, the tea. Neil pulls himself up lurches to the counter, swiping at the mug handle and drenching Lawrence and Slash Nguini's face with the piping hot liquid. The heat begins to melt the tight nylon shirt and fuse it with the hybrid skin. Ow, you fucking cut! The hybrid twists and rises on the floor as Neil Hunt rises to his full height and stands over him. Guess what? I'm Neil Hunt and I'm a fucking nightmare. As I said earlier,

your statue will be available for collection in August. August 2000 and fucking never. Lawrenson attempts to scamper away on all fours through the shop door, which he has earlier locked, but Hurtles right into it, knocking himself unconscious, before the jubilant potter bundles him out onto the quiet street. And that's where it ends, Andy. No, that's where it ends.

Andy, did you think that story was, a little bit like the film Donnie Darko? Yeah. A little bit like it, wasn't it? Pretty much, yeah, 100%. As I remember, Donnie Darkor anyway. Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen it. That's good, that.

I enjoyed that. Very nice. Well, there we go. We'll leave it with that, I think. Thank you very much for listening to this, the Parsnippers and beyond. Thanks for sticking with us for nine fucking years. Yeah, thank you very much.

And we'll be back soon with more. See you next time. I'm off to buy some sausages now. So, da.