Athletico Mince - Boiled Parsnips 8: Box B

Episode Date: May 10, 2021

Lockdown poetry, hairstyles, Slaughters Zoom, Nigel Pearson, Mrs Beardsley’s new beau, and more. (Rec: May 2020) Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Good evening ladies and gentlemen welcome to I've Andro. Andro. Andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, andro, to her. I got that past it's feeling I'm dancing on the ceiling. I love that past it's feeling it gets mad back fast steaming. What do you think? Is that it? No I'll grab it more. Oh. Oh there's a bridge there.

Welcome everyone. Ooh I've got a bridge there. Welcome everyone. I've got a lot of past nips. It's shit out. I've got that past it's reeling. I'm dancing on the ceiling. I love that past it's reeling. It gets me back fat steaming.

Welcome everybody. You can turn that off, Andy. Can I fit the music? Yeah. Yeah, that went well. I don't think you thought it did go well. Fit your laughing at me. I'm not. I'm laughing with you. Yeah. I'm always laughing with you.

What's that T-shirt? It's a terrible green. God, a pale man like you, Andy. Don't soak green. X or 1,000. No, it's Mexico. It's Mexico, 86. Why are you wearing that cut to pretend you were there or to make people think you're like retro, stuff here?

Literally just dug it out of me wardrobe. It was the first thing I grabbed all of. I thought, what color should I try and impress him with today? Yeah. Because he didn't like white the other way. He said, I look at it. Oh, that was bad, yeah. Which kind of surgical apron.

I thought it would be different. Do you not like it? I don't like the color on you, Andrew, no? Right, well I'm not going anywhere in it, do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it's so beautiful. But I've got to look at it. I'm not down with a little vision, a little screen. A little vision, a little pipe.

I've done a John Copa Lockdown, Andrew. Do you like that and with them? Why not? Go on, then. Okay, so John Copa Lockdown, he's kind of sent this in, one in here goes I don't know what to do all day my mind is dusty my limbs are turned rusty I've got nothing left that I want to say I take a hammer to me sheets because they've gone all crusty I can't get me ass off this sweaty setty and watching grand designs, then QVC.

The bloke next door is revving his strimmer. Me suns upstairs, having cereal for his dinner. I pop outside to sit in the sun, but the kids next door is screaming at the mum. A fly lands on me, kippling tart. War must hear the air, but not in my yard. Thank you, Town Hall, for all your outreach services. It's like it. She's laughing at it.

It was good. It was good in a way that it was very internalized and it was about his life and his feelings and his environment, but then he gave a nod to the town hall. Oh, you got nothing. You know, we're clapping for NHS and that, but think of the leaflets, pamphlets, information services, all made by their local town hall. Including the Old Man. Yeah, Robert. Robert, have you got the Corona, Robert?

Have you got the symptoms, Robert Robert have you got the Corona Robert? I mean got the symptoms Robert Would you like me to come run a techie temperature Robert? Oh, yeah, I love you too If you're lucky I've just done a test Andrew You're a antibody test just on it. Just the body one you might be able to say can you see me finger? Yeah, you probably can't well you have to like You have to stab it and let the blood drip into a little vial Right fail veil Vial yeah, yeah, and then you send it off through the postal service

How did you get access to an antibody test through the shoreboard center? No, no, you should have the 50 quid So, an antibody test. Through the showbiz center. No, no, you can't fish in that. The 50 quid. Whoa. I mean, you know, it's high roller. Well, I thought it was, there's like, you can get for 350, you know,

there's people ripping, you know, or rip-offs. But I thought 50 quid to find out if I had had it, it would be just about worth it. Hey, we've had some questions in from the past, and it was, the plastic. The plastic. Look at a couple of them. I know the fucking couple of them. I know, the fucking impudence of it.

Pete the Conner, he says I'm a ball gentleman, but recently wore the very life like wig as part of a fancy dress family quiz on Zoom. Lots of people doing that kind of thing. Is it acceptable to return to work wearing said wig and tell Pete will have had a hair transplant or that my hair's grown back? For references to dark hair, I'd show the length wig which I'd plant the tenant or pull my cartny style mop top. I was going to cut it then, it's going to cut it before I wear a back to work. Can you do that, do you think after this, can you reinvent yourself?

I think so, yeah. I'm the privacy you didn't. I mean, you won't get away with it, but it seems to me the tides turn these days, you know, like a man are allowed to do hair stuff. I'm not going to, but I think I could if I wanted to you know what that you do I would do with your exotic Would you yeah, yeah, my son's got one. I'm pretty jealous of it. How's he? Yeah, he's bleached it up and everything As he was he got like the sort of partly going on at the back as well. Oh, yeah, it's all. Whole deal. Yeah. Was he was he was he was he creating it before Tiger King? Well he's really

you know like young teen edges that he's really fucked off because he's added for about a year and a half. All right. And like and now all he gets is joy exotic you know but like it's his thing. You know he went through the ad times when he first got it. You know, if he does, if this chap, it's Pete Connor, isn't it? Yeah. If he wants to do it, he should do it. But you know, it might be worth putting some highlights and then go enjoy exotic.

Who me? No, the fella who asked the question, Pete Connor. All right, yeah. Well, it's sure the length, so yeah, he could easily turn into a joy exotic. Exactly. It's the recording. It's the hardly style mock top.

That's not very modern, is it? Anyway, that's the end of that. You introduced the questions off you go. I introduced it, and I've ended it. No, there's someone wanting to know what they're going to call a bar in it. I've gotten to that. All right. It's from Jazzbox, and he says, we've just finished building our shed bar in it. I've get into that. All right. It's from Jazzbox and he says we've just finished

building our shed bar in the garden and would like to buy an infry if you've got any currently available. Well, Jazzbox, I kind of think we're better than that really. I'm not saying it's better Andy, but I would call it Chimps because I'm a bit primerty at the moment after the recent series, you know. Yeah, it's been great, isn't it? Apart from the bit in the third episode where they start talking about drones for a bit. Yeah. That was weird. A drone isn't a prime hit. I'm not stupid.

Go on. Charlie Borwell. He's got a question, honey. I was like, yeah, yeah. I've been, are you propping me to read it out? Is that what you're doing? I haven't got them. I've been sent to you.

Hello, did you know Charlie Borwell's near them? You remember I said it. Yeah, okay now. Charlie Bowel, I've been spicing up my lockdown trips up the Azda by buying a different budget sliced meat every week. Got like sausage has been a particular treat. What is and these dog shit value meat of choice? Oh, corn beef.

Really? Corn beef, you can't be, you can't be, I've been having cornbaf toasties. Do you think cornbaf comes into the dog shit category? I think it's a beautiful meat. It's a great meat, but it's cheap, isn't it? You have some dog shit, isn't it? Hazelets dog shit, although sliced- Slice-

Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- Slice- middle. Aslas got dust in it, so does that. Is that true? I think so. I just thought it was called Dona meat. I demand the cheap meat I like and I some occasionally crave. Is you know that sort of

curved, Madison sausage, quite a big lad. And it's horseshoe shaped. Yeah. I like one of them. Keep it cold out your fridge. Grasp it really hard, yeah, and like, know on it, like, every eight to something, you know, makes you feel really powerful. That's the one that comes in the vacuum sealed packet, doesn't it, so you know that it hasn't been tainted by anything. Because you know as soon as it hits oxygen, all sorts of shite is going to come out of it. That's the react of the atmosphere. Alright, we'll do a couple more questions later on.

The full version of this episode is only available to our Club Pass Nip subscribers on Patreon.gorparyon.com slash Athletic Orments to find out more. You get a complete bonus episode every month and lots of other great stuff and there are no adverts in any of the episodes, it adverts like this for example. You can also go at our thlecical minst.com slash past nips for all the information about how it works. Andy, yeah, extraordinary news, right? And it's all thanks to those lads infinity rocket plastics. Oh, I'll be honest. Oh, I'll be honest.

So what's happened? I'll tell you what's happened. I asked them to install some spyware. Took a chance. Said, can you get some spyware for me on the Wadrian Lewis' computer? Oh, you know, the good lads at IRP, yeah. Good level of band band tea get from Amanda

You know, yeah, I've a chat about music and foot here and that To others I don't trust them. I tell you why I trust them the to brothers Gary and Neil and they're both Norwich fans and that's a trustworthy It's a kind of vibe, isn't it Anyway, so you don't think they turn on you one day if it's so that they're neat. No, no, it's nice club, isn't it? Well, good luck with that. So I was watching the feed in the Adrian's inbox and I saw an email trail from Slaughter's restaurant, right? Basically it said they're doing fine during lockdown, providing meat to various labs, you know, that are working on a vaccine and that. Nice. And it said Ron Craigsord devised a special lockdown menu and as a valued customer

Adrian would receive a box containing the food, which he could eat along with Ron and the waiter in a special zoom down in Rome, yeah. Oh yeah. So did you get the situation? I do. I understood. I tuned in on the evening of the mail and this is how it went under. Good evening sir and welcome to our virtual dining room. I'm very pleased to have all of our avoidant chef Rudd Kragg's present. Oh, fuck fuck fuck, the Ron Kragg's, LR on LR mate. Right, have you got your menu boxes to hand? Fork yes, they're on a towel on me, carpets.

And can you confirm that both boxes have been heated to 500 degrees, for three hours to ensure the neutralization of our sepage, discharges, and posts? Oh, yes, yes, sir, yes, yes. Right, would you please take the lid of box here and run, will explain the dish to you over the yow run. Fuck off! Oh yow fuck off. Box?

Box, no! Box, no! Come turn it in deeply pummeled ox-haft, stuffed with marinerne, chicken ass and gawts noses, accompanied by rich coole of spammazies and hot thick. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, that's got me tits popping and me bollocks dropping, I'm sweating like a pig in labour. You may not suck in sir. Oh, fuck, I I can't there's no

fork in the box I'll have to go to the kitchen. So stay where you fucking are and do not insult the chef round-granks. This dish has a bit eaten hands-free like trough slub. What did he say? He bought the company. He can fuck up! He'll be say anyone's bet you will next the stuff fuck! Calm down, run, calm down, it was a simple mistake. You may commence dining, sir. Good luck and remember, nothing good comes from fancy food. Oh, oh, this is magnificent. Oh, the goat's hunk has had a lovely crunch, and the acidity O, o'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i Oh yeah! Will you now open Box Bay please, run or we'll explain the dish to you. Box Bay, Box Bay, contains a skew, a skew, skew.

All the ingredients were malinated inside my old slaughterhouse, wellies, for two weeks. It's a skew of men's daughter, Bollocks, miscellaneous kill-cove, mouse-kins, bifin, bifin, fran-j-co-cap. I'll bound together with cock-roll decks, and don't like a bath-fuck. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, me got some making noises that should only be heard by devil dogs, and sewage operatives. Can I use my hands for this one? No, so very vulcan, sorry.

You must put this directly in your mouth space from Box B. Tell them why I ran. Box B, it made. It made. Box B, it made from the undead belly of a fudsy pool! Expressed something and... BOOM! And... Had a... You covered up this! And at the spice he kicked me a pain in the chest! BOOM!

I've forgotten all that! TEEE! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm up into answer my captures questions. Yes, it's superb And yes Ron Krugs is a genius Thank you sir your virtual dining experience is now over. We have our next diner coming online Mr. Sam L.D.H. Goodbye sir Oh see you son, see you're on. Fuck off, fuck off!

So that was virtual, Danny, at Slot as Andy. Did you think that I was a bit like the movie It? You know where a clown's living in the drains. Err, that little... I'm sure! A positive... Ah, fuck! Nice try though!

Fuck! I got a web from the Lads at Infinity Rock, Infinity Rocket Plastics. What? I've got a web from the Lads of Infinity Rocket, Infinity Rocket Plastics. It's Nigel Pearson again. He's been reciting Firm a song lyrics this time. So I'll play that for you, Shanna. So he's doing James Taylor, you've got a friend when you're down and troubled and you need someone to fight to brighten up your darkest night. Just call out my name and you know wherever I've lost it. I'll come running to fight you again.

Winter spring summer of fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there. Yes I will and I will win. It's done at it monkeys, flew wrestling at the lesson, not a song on you actually, you used to get kicked in in your fishnets, now you're only fighting your night dress, discarded all the for niceness landed in a fighting crisis. He's done the smiths panic. Fighting on the streets of London, fighting on the streets of Birmingham. I wonder to myself, a kickoff may occur in Grasmier, but with my skills you're not fair for you, so you're shit out of the banny in the town. for you so you're shit out of the banny in the town fight the DJ fight the DJ fight the DJ fight the DJ fight the DJ fight the DJ I didn't cop me fight the DJ I did Whitney Houston as well if I should stay fight I would only be in your way. Oh fuck I've lost it

But you know where it was going, but I will always fight you Oh, well, I was fighting you yet and you my darling you will always lose So yeah, I let them down then really That's well, you know you can't you can only do it best Listen up Andrew potentially good news this Finally got a Wav from Peter. Oh finally in a while Peter Bayer's Lee. Okay Alright Bob, I'm all in the spare room I haven't looked inside the plug for bedside lamp there you know, there's not much to see but the color is quite striking, it's quite an interesting amount of wear on the

flex you know, where the two gripping screws come in a contact with the actual flex. There's a little fuse inside the plug that says 5A on the side so I imagine this one being run by the bloke who lives down the road you know at 5-8 so lockdown is getting quite difficult so I try and let me man one the back the happier times from the past like you know'd like to remember the day our first wet me pants and all warm and comfy in it felt against the extremely dry skin of me cobbler face. I also would like to remember the time our trip and accidentally broke my fall against Sally Mullins front teeth. I instill fail now and the pain from the headbutt that Sally Mullins subsequently delivered.

And to also remember the birth of my son, you know, and wife declaring, like the living, f**k he looks down like you, if he had an assortment in a f**k and pet shop. Dog pet. So, probably wondering how I'm spending my days, right? Well, yesterday was quite unusual. I worked at the bow 5 a.m. in the Spam Room because of the banging and thumping in the loft like usual.

I thought I'm not even going to bother checking it out. You know, because it's the Albanian seller, Lechstor, acting in a deathbogger again, you know. I think he once was a sell-up the house so it can buy it like a knock-throat, you know. Probably use it a seapowse, you know, for his Albanian arm to deal with me. It's like but I'm not good at writing to the bit, you know, and wife is not bothered because she sleeps through the night like a horse sitting 12 Christmas buttons. She never suddenly ousts anywhere, she loves it every day, you know. So I crept downstairs and put the towel in really low.

I watched this thing on Netflix, like where I broke as two husbands and we farts about with chaggits and knives and knives. And a good echo, man, you know. I believe the style is called a bullet. So then about the end of the day I crawled quite a bit into the kitchen and started with skin 12 eggs for the white's early rise on the, you know, she likes cream egg on top and I do find the foil like you know covering the egg very f. You know, it's like thinly fat, you know, to get it off. It's a very thin foil. I quite like thin, because when you generally like, you know,

sanophane, vanish, you know, labels mainly lovely and semi thin thin like, but like my grasp on reality bit like my grasp on reality as a wife was saying, are you, are you there? 9 o'clock from tap tap tap tap on the wife's bedroom door. Come in here little morning fucking creeper. And you better not have your little sharty dressing gown on. I don't want your dried bollocks skin springing all over me fucking feature laminate flour. No, I got me traction on love. So I'll call you in yet.

Well, I put the omelet on a special glazed eight inch tray, what she bought off the QV CV shot in general. My love. Fuck off your doors, your half wetting clown. And stop itching your dusty fucking knackers. Just like that woman, she picked up her phone. It's Gregory Potter, the just blow singer. You keep your thin, moronic mouth shut. Okay, health. Hello, Gregory. Yes, you keep your thin, moronic mouth shut. Okay.

Hello, Gregly. How lovely to hear from you. Yes, it's fucking smashing to hear your voice, rather than just reading your numerous fucking texts. Yes, of course I would like to meet up. That would be very fucking pleasant indeed. Yes, I'm definitely going to leave the itchy ball dial. Yes, I am very happy to sell up the house and all the contents.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Yes, including jeerie peating. Why Gregory, you are such a forken hoot. Yes, sweet you later. Love you Gregory. And she looks straight at me like I'm a losing bench. Like, okay, what was I like about love? Are you selling the house and moving in me Gregory Parthen?

I am certainly thinking very vocally about that option. But you don't think I haven't got other options on the pile as well. Well, that makes me very sad. I love you very much, but I suppose I have to accept. I don't really match up the Gregory part, anyway. He's the one who wears that first thing, you know. Ah, that's him. And he's got lovely, highly polyxenal. a'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi.

Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle gyddi. Ae, mae'r ffysle.

Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle.

Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ffysle. Ae, mae'r ysgwch yn y ffwrdd yn ysgwch yn ysgwch. Mae'r ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn ysgwch yn y in you in a queue. I taught in the sand love its QV CV customer service line. Half fucking half. I got you a beauty there you gullible little midnight sick bag. Serves you right for leaving Pollock flakes all over the fucking house. Now get on a mass site while I took into this early riser. Thank you for that. Thank God you're not leaving for Greg Repart. I don't love you very much. So that was funny too, but wouldn't it show you the right

card when she wants to be? So I'm got a new job as a straight cleaner. Not much training required. You just pick things up as you go along. Look I applied for a job at the circus like what can you do? I still own it. I can do Wwch yn yw ddo? A'r sdidd i'r honor. A'r ddo'r unrhyw i'r cyddech yn pethau. A'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r ddo'r d I went to the bookshop and that book on turtles. Hard back in the assistant asked, yes I'm very glad with very little heads. So that's me, Jorks, Bob. I'd best get off now. One paint a B.A.C. There are only one paint, air, beauty.

Only one paint, air, beauty. Let's show you, Bob. Well, so that was nice, a bit nice to catch up with. What did it end day? Been a while, let's do it. Yeah, been a while, yeah. Quite a surprise about Gregory Porter. Thank you, sir.

Oh, as always, thank you, past knitmas for supporting us. Thank you for indulging us. Yeah. See you next time. See you. Tera. you