Athletico Mince - Ep. 107 - Eyebrow Situation

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

Thick drink, coach trips, White Harts and confectionery, Crime Files, Beardsley, and Andy sings again. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to Athletic Ominz. I hope today fans you adequately had rated and with a plentiful supply of exciting and or diverting activities to pursue, edgy smirking or drinking. Imagine if you will that you are trying on a daringly tight pair of skinny jeans in your local department store. You pull them on and begin to struggle to get them past your socks, roll them dusty thighs. You drop onto a stool with the jeans around your knees and stare at yourself in the full length mirror. The sight turns you stomach. You witch your outer thigh and an apologetic ball that drops out of your overstretched underpants. That god no one can see me like this you think.

Just at that moment of short, fat, doughy, bald, spherical moor and of a man, pulls back to curtain and declares, How I look and you meet with your tiny, baller, hanging down like a full dog's triple. If I had a gun I'd put out your misery. It is, of course, ladies and gentlemen, my co-host, Mr Andrew Doss. I'm a stenoth beast, face covered in pork lice, still at lack of pigeons. Chicken dip as his religion Oh Mr Sunlight

Each is vegetable and thin cans His dog cods in his backyard He fills his pillows with pork lard Oh yes All right Andy Yeah more right Bob thanks very much for that lovely introduction there. Yeah you're done, Sam, how are you? What's happened? Oh, alright! No, I'm alright!

I'm fine! Yeah, you know, all things considered. Ah, nice one. I've just seen from your Instagram that you found a cup of lull bottles of beer lease from a few years back. I have, I've been tucked in yet. Not yet, but I'm declaring Christopher starts now, but one of them is out of date by the end of October. But I don't see that as being an issue because it was out of date by the end of this week, wouldn't be a problem. But, you know, do you reckon it's the thickest of all the alcohol? I can't think about advocate, advocate, advocate, advocate? That's quite gloopy as well. But Billy's is definitely up there.

I once got drunk on Advocat, you know. On a coach. Did you? I took a coach trip up from Middlesbrough to Newcastle to say, you're right, I hate the rock band. And I got drunk on a bottle of Advocat. I don't know where they are.

I see. What's your favorite coach courts journey, Andrew? My favourite courts journey, I've not really been on many courts journeys, Bob. I've not known them, but do you have a favourite like? A school trip was probably the best one to Whitby. Or maybe it's York. York 1984. Can I say that?

Sounds like a good trip. No, that sounds a good trip. Yeah, we sat at the back. No, I was never allowed into the sitting at the back gang. It's probably because you're not sporty. But I wasn't like a sweaty there. I didn't sit down at the front like talking to the teachers. Pretend to be there equal. I was just somewhere in the middle. So you're not sporty. You're not intelligent. What are you? I never said I wasn't sporty, I was quite sporty. Well the sport lads will be at the back. No, it's not. You're probably. As it was the naughty lads, it were at the back that used to smoke. Have you ever been drunk on a coach? Yes, that's all coming back now. I'll have, yeah. Coach Tripp to Manchester in 1988 to go and see New Order at the GMX. Chester in 1988 to go and see new order at the J-Mex. And we got drunk on that on the way there with Vodka in a big pop bowl.

Vodka and cork mix and pop bowl. So a lovely memory, Andrew. You and Cheap Vodka on a trip to Manchester. I've got a question for you. Have you got an eyebrow situation? How would you mean? You know what, I mean, it's something for the older gentleman and you're considerably older than me, but like when your eyebrow hairs start to grow through a bit thicker and more wiery.

Oh yeah, yeah, I've had that for about five, six, seven years. I'm a bit of a beginner to get it now and I'm wondering where it leads to. Well, the my advice to you, Andy, is don't touch it. You're chasing Rambos. As soon as you start plucking on the outside and you're chasing Ren, but as it all seconds up and becomes, you know, I've been, I've been plucking. I've got some toys. I don't, don't, that's, yeah. I've never walkin' up on a coach. And there was a bear sat next to you.

And there's think, what you have to think about that. I am, there's thing. No, I have to think about that. I have. No, I have you. No, I, but did once take, I thought this is not, it's not an unusual incident, but I did once take a court from Middlesbrough to Peter Lee, yeah, to see Peter's and Lee perform. So it's not an unusual incident. It's just kind of like, I don't know what that is. It's not ironic, is it ironic? No, is it? Well, they're good. Papers and lei, best in the business, yeah.

Because he was the one that was genuinely blind, wasn't he? Because a lot of people thought he was just trying to copy Roy Orbison, but Lenny Peters was genuinely blind. That's where he wore the glasses. Is that right? Yeah, that's what I think that's why we all love them. For his joke. Have you seen the recent footage of Stevie Wonder catching the microphone that Paul McCartney throws to him?

Oh, I haven't know. Yeah, look into it. If you're interested, there's a lot of it on the net. A lot of instances and quotes of people saying that he can, well, I'm not gonna say I've ever looked. Didn't know about that. Didn't know about that. You've got hammock Andrew, how is your hammock? Hammock is beginning to fear from me life a little bit because some are almost over and it's too cold to be outside in the hammock. I'm thinking of bringing it indoors for the

winter, but we'll see. It takes a lot of space up. Yeah, I was going to say that it's going to be the hammock storage, it's going to kill you in the end, isn't it? I think it might be. I've started using the hammock more than I've been using me treadmill and that's bad. But here's the thing, right? I've got, I told you I've got exercise by Anna treadmill. I've not been on the treadmill now for over four weeks. Right? Right. And I've been living the same kind of lifestyle. I normally live, you know, not the healthiest. Guess how much weight I've put on in those four weeks

and say here's the treadmill. Well, because of your tour of the voice, I'm gonna say literally nothing. You're right, now to put note on. Well, but it's beginning at the time, you know it, in it with these heavy, massive eyebrows. Yeah, you've been cutting them off to compensate for weight gain. I mean, I've been a weight loss You didn't know it, with these heavy massive eyebrows, you've been cutting them off to compensate for weight gain.

I've been a weird lost you thing, taking the eyebrow hairs out. I say you're sitting in your little blue chair there with the roof on from the fishing shore, I watched last night. Did you like it? It's lovely, yeah. It's got wheels on it.

No, it's not a problem. It's just like a brab. Thanks, lot. Andrew, I watched the episode of the Tottenham documentary, All and Nothing. And now my friends, Wolfen DeGzi, from Infinity Rock and Plastics, have managed to get me another deleted scene. All right, okay. So they've installed some spyware on Amazon Prime right yeah so yeah it's an interesting use of malware that in the end I think so so Debbie Winxie and Harry and Eric are in the treatment room right and I'll

just well I'll just play the play the tape you know what I mean. So it's Debbie starts off. So let's not guys, what's your favourite chocolate bar? You go first, Wingsie. Right, a month's got to be snickers, isn't it? The, well look serious and the, like the Nutty Lair is like a textual bombshell. It's a good Carl Wingsie, but the actual chocolate on it is on the jeery side of workmen like what about you Harry? I don't take chocolate bars, they have a very high sugar content which can give me a buffery rush leading to unspent agitation. I prefer to nibble on an organic parsnip or have a lick on the handle of one of Toby's

hammers. Fair enough boss, but doesn't it leave you hurting out loud? You know when you see us tucking into that eG crunchy? No, not really Debbie. I think Candy Bar crunching is very juvenile and irresponsible, almost tantamount to negligent when it comes to personal fitness levels and toxin management. Our chocolate is bolder in my outlook of life, Debbie. Winxie chirps in. Whoa! Listen to the skip of there. That is dope.

He's one dedicated unit of non-carosomatic excellent word what but you Eric what chalkboard you chow down on to keep your world in motion Eric I like bounty bars Debbie bloody yeah I like bounties is well shit like I know they make you feel like you're sitting on a beach like, but location isn't everything, choose another. So, Eric choose, chose is another. Karah, Ah, Mac,

Winxie, oh my lord, Eric Karah Mac is the effing onion on the snack tour. You were seriously weird and off rail. Karah Mac is baby putting, you know, for the stunty clothes. Oh, there he comes, Joseph says Debbie. Let's ask him, hey, Gaffer, watch your favorite chocolate bar. Tee.

The only thing that matters is family, college and commitment. Family, college and commitment. That is all. Yeah, but how does that translate to snack choice, Gaffer? A tin of celebrations, enough for the whole family. Expensive, so you need to be committed. And much fat and calorie, so you need courage. Family, courage, commitment. That is what matters. But it's not strictly stacked bar, is it? Shut up Debbie, you'll be on strictly soon when I get you sold off. No, that was

Shota Debbie, you'll be on strictly soon when I get you sold off. Harry chirps in So gaffer, are we lining up tomorrow? Four, three, three, or four, four, two? What sort of a question is that? It's nonsense, it's a good guy question. Good guys do not win, you have to be nasty bastard. Swahas, Ronaldo, Ramos, Robbie Savage, all bastards, all winners apart from one.

Yeah, but Gaffa, are we lining up? Robby Savage, all bastards, all winners apart from one. Yeah, but Gaffa, how are we lining up? Shit, the car port, Debbie. You know how to get on my man's tits. The sooner you escape, go to the better. Do you not get it? I'm a cryptic man. I say nothing, but I say everything. Everything is nothing, but nothing is something. Now try and pin that on me and you'll be pissing in the hose pipe. Harry, let's get on the training pitch. Rally the troops. No, let's bring the movie. Come on.

That's right and then it suddenly caught up. So I think Wolf may be at the go to leave work. Oh, okay. I want to play a little game with Yandhi, right? Right. Thinking of chocolate bars, right? Right. What you have to do is like a game, a quiz or something. You have to say the name of a chocolate bar, right?

Right. And then I have to say the name of a chocolate bar, or you can up sweets, yeah, that starts with the last letter of the previous one. So if I say smart, he's the end in S, so you might say, for example, star bar. Right. You lose if you can't think of one,

or if you say crunchy. Right. That's like giving in, is it by just saying crunchy? No, if the other one tricks you in the crunchy. Oh Got you. Okay. Got you see what I mean right could happen. Okay. Do you want to go first a second? Um, I'll go I'll go first I think Okay I'll start Tell us if I'm doing this wrong.

Sherbert dipped up. No, that's fine. I can't complete a dab baby. Bubble gum. Marathon? Come on. Marathon's good, yeah? Martha N. Nougat.

Nougat. I'm just rotating it. Err... Topic. Very nice. Chubba chump. What? Nougat Nougat I'm just rotating it Err... Topic Very nice Chubbachump What? Chup

See? Chupbachump? You know them lollies Chupbachups Chupbachups Yeah, you get the squally fight for that If you're not getting it right That's a nice

Skittles Swizzles Skittles. Swizzles. Swizzles. Skittles. No, you've had that. Oh, you've had that. Sure bit lemons. Sure bit lemons.

Shoelaces. Do you remember them? Yeah. He's giving it. Speem income. shoelaces do you remember them yeah he's giving it speedy-bink gum yeah all right um Marshmallow this is good um whisper oh very nice that ends in an ear, not on a ear. Alright, after eight minutes. It's again, shrimp. You know, they've formed shrimps.

Alright. Oh, I get you. Alright. Peep, peep, peep. Pick, Nick. Pick Nick. Pick Nick. End of the C. Crunch.

Oh, buttocks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Plump and full you know what I mean. Oh man. What do you think of that? Um, yeah, it's got potential. I didn't think we'd get that far, to be honest. There'd be two or three more of them. Hey, the people in charge of the memory man, License and Federation said you've got to update your credentials. Oh, okay, fair enough. You haven't done it for about a year. I'll be to do it.

All right, here we go, memory man. Do you remember the statistics from July 1979? That's what it says here. I don't know what anything more than that just does it say all the statistics? I'm guessing so it just says the statistics. Let me think. What, what, yeah, I'm sorry, Andy, what, yeah, July, July 79. Yes, yes, I do. Brilliant. Yeah, it's really hard. Still got it. You've still got it.

That's you real license for another year, I think. You get a year out of it. That's wonderful. Lovely stuff. I get into Halter's for free with me, badge, you know. Do, yeah. Do the other people have to pay to get it off? I presume so. I didn't know about that. I've just been reading the thing on the internet before we started this to do it. And there's an MP in Sri Lanka who wants to be, he's a volunteer and to be appointed as the Minister of Monkeys.

Isn't that a good thing? Would you like to be the Minister of Monkeys in Britain? Well, sometimes feel like I am when I'm dealing with you, you know what I mean? Hello, I'll. Imagine that though, being a charge of all the monkeys. Yeah, I mean, it's very appealing, really appealing job. That's what Mark and I say, time consuming probably. But how many monkeys do you reckon there are in Great Britain? You're good. Yeah. You

came on the East. 30,000? You're right. 30,000! I was going to say about... I was going to say about about 3,000. Ah, right. It's probably somewhere in between. No, I'm not saying I'm right, but I'd like to make friends with each and every one of them. Yeah. And cuddle with them and listen to the heartbeat. I had another observation about the efficient sure...

Oh, thank you. ...when I was watching it. My favourite bit is, you know, the drawn footage. I. Let's say it really high up in that. Yeah. I love that because I like to imagine it's a giant of the camera standing near.

Maybe it is. It enhances it. Well, maybe it is. Oh, give me a little secret. Do you think how many drones do you think we've lost with tree crashes in the series? 30,000. 30,000 exactly.

No, we've lost one. Oh well. Hey Andy, we're joined now for some football analysis by Manchester United legend Paul Skulls. He's on a Zoom call, let me have a sound there. Hello Paul! Oh, nice to see you. Paul Skulls are here. So any thoughts on United's Honda Fait at the weekend? Well, didn't see it. Really? How come? I was out to a march in town, protested about the restrictions on our freedoms during this fake pandemic.

But I don't think it's fake, is it really, Paul? Of course it is, it's global conspiracy, designed to increase Netflix subscriptions and books to popularity of those companies that send you out boxes and nuts and seeds. You can't unsubscribe once you've signed up, up I've tried it's an FN nightmare well I can't really see you on that well but are you sitting in the dark well skulls is speaking to you with a secret area that is protected from the intrusive rays of the 5G network and the shadowy reach of big dots and big seeds right over there well where's that then? It's covered under mysterious. Oh, Bollocks, I was just supposed to say that. Oh, what, anyway, Mrs.

It's supposed to be this, right? Why does it bring 30 years since the BBC of shoulder to shoulder Mr Ben? Don't reply. Paul Skolz will tell you why because it was little would lies to cite the jute for generation of kiddies in the believe in the propaganda

at the BBC. That's how... government sounds a bit far fetched Paul You would say that you fucking sheep Listen right the other soul where mr. Ben went to the moon it was faked I could prove it look I don't know about any of this stuff Paul I just want it to get some football opinions from you. Right listen have you heard of a company called Infinitio Rocket Blastix? Yes I have the very good company. You say they're pointless to this right? They've got satellite cameras, they cover every single

me on a simple tip-sight in a UK so they could look at what you're Oh hold on, what the fuck? I've lost him. Ah, I think I've lost Paul there. Oh, is he gone? Yeah, it's a shame in it I'm what was he about to see about infinity rock the plastics though Well, I mean, but he but then lift the lid. No, he better watch out if wolf gets on the whim. I'll tell you Well, it's nice to hear from Paul, but I think he's going a bit off kilter any. I've got a crime files did Andrew. Alright, okay. I'll say those words if that's okay. Crime files.

FIME FILES! Thank you, Andrew! So, the small mill town of Skipton in North Yorkshire, as well known for its Norman castle, Canalside Dining, and it's easy access to the Yorkshire Dales National Park. In 2016 and 2018, it was declared by the Sunda times to be the best place to live in England. On the high street can be found a double fronted shop owned and run by Nonsense Potter Neal Hunt. As well as housing a small Nonsense pottery, it also has shop frontage where customers can enjoy a cup of coffee in a cake and peruse the nonsense pot and tat on sale. On the 26th of August, the caffeine shop were empty when in walk through E. gentlemen.

It was professional football people, Calvin Phillips, Patrick Bamford and their coach, Argentinian Marcus B. Elzer. Neil was behind the counter, cleaning the steam pipe on his coffee machine when they arrived. On arrival, one of them changed the front door sign to closed. Patrick Bamford was the first to speak. Excuse me, my good man. We would like to take refreshment here, and I must insist that the shop is closed to commoners whilst we indulged. We're very important people. I'm Patrick Bamford, don't you know. Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Lord Bamford. If I'd known you were coming coming I would have spread rose petals on the floor.

Pray please do, F in forgive me. Calvin, a upsun shan is that being sarcastic, if they are then I'll crack your head open for you, if young Patrick's orders. Oh you will will you, and who are you? Who actually are you? Is fucking footman, and what is that complicated god damn awful mess on your head? Is it a haircut or a fucking maze for ants? Read that, Siddham going to lump you.

You potterie prick. Back off, Kelvin, says Patrick. We're in need of a tonics, so let's keep things civil. Sorry about him, potter. Now might I order three coffee coffees please. Coffee coffees I've never heard of them or eight. You've never heard of coffee coffee. Oh how funny you locals are. Coffee coffee, it's coffee where the milk is all coffee.

What's your on about? What are you actually saying? Do you mean coffee? What's your own about? What are you actually saying? Do you mean toffee? No, foffy, like old bubbly and airy. Airy foffy coffee. It must be a London thing. I'm sorry, I've never heard of it. Help me out here, Bielzer. What do poor people call airy foffy coffee? Bielzer. Beelzer. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- little quirk. Yes, I thought he might be foreign, either that or a scrap dealer. He looks like a scrap dealer. Is he a foreign scrap dealer? That would be some fucking stark combo. Noise hour gaffer, our savior, a local, the passionate thinker. He's always thinking. I only think things occasionally, you know. Like what aircooked Java, whether tabmiar swaxed, but beels and a gaffer, he thinks things nearly most of the time. Listen, can he sit on his bucket?

Oh, all right then. Let's just go against 800 years of Yorkshire tradition and let the bloke from abroad sit on his fucking bucket. Now, about these for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for- for coffee is put in the bottom of the cup and then Fawfi milk is made by using that steam pipe you were handling when we came in. Oh, do you mean Throffy? No, Fawfi. I'm sure it's Fawfi. Well, I don't have any Fawfi. Not pow-dood, not liquid, not soy.

I've never even heard of Fawfi. And to be perfectly honest with you, you're now walking on my tits with very heavy feet. I'd like you to leave this nox and establishment. Go on, get out, just get out, you foffy runt. Well at that moment, Beelzer begins to growl and grunt. He got onto the floor on all fours, races round the back of the counter and sinks his teeth into Neil's calf. Jesus wept! Ah, that is very fucking tart! Call him off, call him off! Not until we get our fofie coffee, Mr. Nonsense. Call him off or you will regret it. Did you know that my cousin Gary works at a factory

that manufactures a C-tick acid? And my son's friend's father owns a metal fabrication facility that makes pointy tip security fencing. Come on Calvin, let's make our own foffy coffee. I've seen how they do it. Patrick and Calvin go behind the counter and start fiddling with the sheen as meelsa continues to nore on the Neal's cards. I'll pick all of them off. Why, why is it always little old me? I use energy saving

light bulbs throughout the shop and I only ever eat ethically sourced tuna. You need to turn up the steam to use that machine for Christa. Let me show you. Release him momentarily, Gaffa. Neil turns the steam onto full temperature and pressure. Come here, you two and I'll explain the controls. Bamford and Phillips draw their faces close to the machine and Neil hits them with a blast of hot steam straight into their faces. B.L.s arises up to confront Neil and blasts him straight between the eyes. Yes that's it! Haha! That's what I cally! Go on! Get out! Get out of my nonsense pottery!

The three men stumble out of the shop holding their faces in agony. I know you went frothy coffee, but I played you like puppies in the lion's den. A moment later, BAMFIT appears at the window. Can my gaffer have his bucket back? Bucket? Fuck it, I say! A nealash like a thousand school children at a tumbling competition as he undid his trousers and pissed all over the scrap dealers daff blue bucket. I'm neal fucking hunt and I'm loving my life! The end.

Ehh... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm loving my life! Yeah! Yeah! So that's Grandfather and he... But Elsa, do you reckon he speaks English or not? Well, he must have picked up a bit, wasn't he? I mean, a bit he does. He always has to translate it there. It's funny. Sorry, Andy. I was going to say never make makes eye contact. It always looks at the floor. He speaks English today, of course he does.

I mean I think it's the choice to make in it, you know, I think I've told you before, I've met Ito Caranca, speaks lovely English, you know, he does, he's lovely, but he's obviously made the choice on TV interviews and that to do the... No, I don't know. So, it's a good way of deflecting something, isn't it? I had a bit of a unident, you know, Andrew. Did you?

Yeah, I went around me father-in-law to do a bit of digging in his garden for him, you know, and I thrust the spade into the soil, right? And immediately there was like, I noticed something stupid, like a little explosion in the soil. And like the soil blasted up into me face and knocked me, um, hat off, right? And it landed in me wife's, it landed more or less exactly the hat on my wife's plate of salad, right? She thought I was messing about Right, so she put the salad and the hat in the bin, right? And it turns out what had happened was I'd

Bust through the compressed air pipe that feeds this little generator will generate, I mean, father and law goes in the shed. So quiet on yours, wasn't it? Quiet on yours, you're, oh, landed on the salad. It's gonna land anywhere, couldn't it, really? I've got a new song, I'd like to sing, it's a good work in progress. Go on then. Yeah, I haven't got any music,

I'll just do it like a pillow for you. All right. Whenever I get angry, whenever I get mad, whenever I feel lonely, whenever I feel sad, there's one thing that I do that'll make me feel so good. I drive it in my car and I shit in the woods. Shit in the woods, yeah shit in the woods. Shit in the woods, yeah it makes me feel good. Shit in the woods, yeah shit in the woods. can't as a way in the middle of the woods. That's as far as I've got with it.

Well, are you going to continue working on it, Andy? I mean, I might do, but I thought I might tell it that the baby's in advertising agency. They might have to tweak the lyrics a little bit, but you know, someone might want it. Yeah, the title of the role company. Laksa of company, something like that I don't know. So I've had a nice update sent to me by Peter Beadsley Andrew.

Oh, have you know. Tell them as always getting on. Would you like to hear it? Yes please. Alright Bob, a long time no speak, you know, up your own eyes and curly and safe and that. Anyway, so the wife is confiding the house on a count of infected legs and general, you know, like vulnerability to the bacteria that lives in a skin for you know so it's pretty much up the meat to keep things ticking all the like. When you know when you could only leave the house to buy food and medicine I became a very adept at carin

terrier staring and supermarket staring you know. In my car my favorite a'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r sgwch i'r I fly with it splattered ash on the windscreen that I estimate to be frustrating 2mm outside the cleaning arc of the windscreen right there. And finally the almost perfect triangle of dust that has accumulated to the side of the handbrake shaft. In the silver racket my favorite stairs are the rotary chickens turning round and round and round and round. You know, like little soldiers on manoeuvres inside their Eshumal dry know. And also the stone ceiling tile to the rear left of the store just above the long life drinks. Yes.

Yes. So, and there, over there, I was having a fart in the pantry, you know, when I was a knock on the door. Peter, answer the fucking jar, you clown prince of shite! Yeah, I won't do enough. I was just having a quick fart in the pantry to flair the cakes. So, I opened up the front door and there was a middle-aged woman in a silly green puffer puffer God, very fierce mask, I'm holding a clipboard.

Oh that, hello, how can I help you? I hope you're puffer puffer jacket, it's very blatant indeed. Thanks Pat, my name's Maureen Upton and I'm from the local age concern. I just wanted a FAQC Corbin and quickly checked if all you need is a bean met. Hold a fuck as you paint it, just change the fuck of form and hire a skit to put all the fuck and misery in. It's an early form age concern enough to cut the check we have, everything we need. Is she offering any fork and freebies?

Err, Marlene, wife which is wondering if you have any freebies for us. Well, yeah maybe if we establish you know that... Challenge come through you, fork and a half with dial. Oh you fuckin' half-wit, darling! Please do come to the morning. So we all went in the wife's TV room like and morning sat on the spiritual chair and our joint move, lovely wife on the sofa. So how are you managing for food? What are your arrangements? Oh, well we're doing fine.

I just pop in the car like you know, and... Oh it's a terrible morning! We are actually starving to death here. The biggest problem of course is getting all the eggs we need. Peter can't fetch with him because he's on a driving ban. And he doesn't have a day without them I grow very fucking weak. Oh that's terrible. Do you not have any family that can be... Yes, God!

Do you not have any family that can bring you a shopping? No, our only son is in Iraq having a fight and the rest of our relations are in Avignon in Falken France. Well, we can offer a weekly basic shopping delivery Mae'r rhaid o'r ysgwch i'n ffyrddol i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysgwch i'r ysg in a nicer colour, but yes it's very horken adequate. How many eggs are there in a delivery? Doesn't per week air plus tea, bugs, milk, bread, vegetables, tin, meat and fish. Oh tin, fish, the very act of thinking about it gives me the vapours. Tell me, Marlin, could I substitute the veg and tin goods for a few more forklets. No I don't think so. The deliveries are pre-packed. There's an alternate to the British Classics box mind, comes with chicken pieces and a tortilla bread. Oh wow, it's the chicken, the nation let me let lumpy lumpy. I'm gonna make a chicken wrap your cause.

I love chicken wraps me. Yeah, I think it's pretty lumpy. Not as lumpy as a cement mixer full of Brexit, but therefore on the lumpy side of Bumpy, or look please, you can we have that one? Come on, I promise. I'll do a six egg benedictus if we do. I think about it. Doesn't mind me, I've lovely legs down it. I expect it's all the water she does, you know, caring

for people like. Yes, you know, remind me of mine before the abscesses are joined up. Although I would say, a man will longer and a lot more or less sharefully. I made a title to money, you know, hard for and cash to buy the exit. No, I'm afraid not. And anyway, Peter thought you said you couldn't get to the shops. Peter could walk the three miles to the supermarket in the parking of emergency. You know, if I'm getting even an egg tennis. Well, I will need to have a look in your kitchen to check what level of food you have in the house. Oh yeah, finally, if you follow me, Ma'am,

wow, that puffer jacket has a lovely sheen on its surface. It really shows off the puffer riches here in a very favorable manner. Ah, here was the pantry. Please do a step inside. Well, as soon as we get inside the pantry, Moring starts to look quirky. And I realize he's over here, come like, you know, with me kegman in it, in fact,

like, so as he falls into the arms, just as the wife arrives at the door. You're dead, dirty little midnight fucking creeper. And you know you're a genie, isn't it? Get out of my fucking house. Go on, the two of you are fucking off. But love is not what you think, like, Moring got manbenzino with the caret gaster, you know. Don't fucking care, that's me, your touchy fiddler. Get out. Mae'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith I heard from a man there that Marlene is still off work with long tears.

That's all really Bob you know. I wouldn't even know. We had a couple of jokes but we all took. You know, we all took. Here you go. My wife, the wife, tripped up on the hover cord and dropped a basket full of freshly iron claws on the floor. I just sat back and watched it all unfold. I went to the doctor's ear there because I had a lettuce, don't open my bum. All he did was put the dressing on it. bum. Oh he did was put the dressing on it. Where would I feel there? She asked me if I was listening to her. I thought, had this dress ready to start a conversation?

One peater, baby, one peater, baby, oh, I'll show you, Bob. Oh, it's nice of peater, bring us up the dirt there, isn't it? Yeah, that was lovely that. That reminds me of you see, I mean, you'll have seen the picture of the eggs that Morrison's are selling wet eggs in a bag. Yeah, what have you looked into it? What is it water in there, go? Is it like salty water? I assume it's some kind of like brain or pickle in the agent to keep them reasonably fresh. Do you know how many eggs is in the bag?

Well, it says on the label five, but you look at it and there's about 30. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was thinking, but I'm guessing they must have had some kind of like deal with the egg people and then it's needed to get rid of these eggs quick sharp. Oh, the egg people and the next need it they get rid of these eggs quicksharp Oh the egg people the egg people and we're there like the tomorrow people the

Forgotten people the egg suppliers. Yeah, well eggs come from somewhere don't they have you got eggs? Have you got a Morrison's near you Andy? Felling it yeah, you want us to go out of a look? Well, I wouldn't mind if you could report about how my other Morrison's just down the road from me But it's shut down. It's now one of them. What's that place range? It's now a range a range. Yeah, the range is all right I mean Morrison's is better, but the range is pretty good. Yeah, I don't want to go any shops at the minute Well, do I'm not saying go, but if you did happen to you know, can you get delivered from Morrison's? Be nice to fall up deliver. Oh, and that's for a big bag of fucking wet eggs.

And, I don't know, you can do it online. And just get a 700 eggs delivered. I'll try that, eh? Okay, well that's enough, innit? That's enough, I think. I was gonna say you've got any tele-recommendations or anything like that. Well, at the moment, at the moment,

I'm watching all the real housewives, franchises. I've done New York, Beverly Hills, and I'm on Jersey now, and I enjoy it very much. Right. all the real housewives franchises. I've done New York Beverly Hills on the company. And I'm on Jersey now and I enjoy it very much. Right, there's a two part documentary about Lancer Armstrong that's just appeared on the iPlayer. It used to be on Beatley's spot. That's good if you like to see how terrible one man could possibly be. That's good. I think I might have seen this year. I think in another life, it could well have been a serial killer, but it's your cycling instead.

There you go. Also Netflix, for your city, which is about the New York Mafia, being dismantled by the cops and the eighties with fawn tap men and things like that. That's quite good. That sounds good, Andy. Thank you for that. Yeah. You might give it a look. That's about it, Arekyn.

Alright, Cheerio, Andrew. We've had a nice time, haven't we? We've had a nice time. It helps in lockdown, might give it a look. That's about it, Arekkin. Alright, Chiro Andrew, we've had a nice time, haven't we? We've had a nice time, it helps in lockdown, doesn't it? To have a nice time, yeah, sorry. Yeah, because it's coming back, isn't it? Let's fierce it. And now back to the TV, for me. Back to the Beelies for me. Okay, see ya. See ya, Fox. Thank you.