Athletico Mince - Ep 121 - Jackets and Bitcoin

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Chocolate, country, group names, McCarthy v Pearson, mammals, Geordie Heat, a showbiz centre call, and Talksport. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See out for details. Hello, Dad Bob. Alright, Andy, are you doing your looking good? Are you sure? You're not looking good. Why? Which bits of me are looking good? Do you see your forearms there?

Yeah, I've got an inch there. You look pretty chunky like a butcher. Yeah, I've got a butcher's lad chunky like a butcher. Yeah, I got maybe, no, maybe let's see like a butcher's lad. That a butcher's lad, yeah. Yeah, an apprentice. Yeah. Not for a future. I'm having a cup of tea and a time out, Andy.

Do you like the time out, bud? I love the time out. Yeah. It is a good bar though, Andy. I think it's over looked a bit. It's better than the kick that. I have the single stick or a double. Let's have a look. It's a single about, it's a pack of 16. So I'm not fucking about. No, I think the double is almost

a bit too much. I know what you mean. Do you like the, I often associate it with the, is it the twirl? Is it the twirl? That's a nice bar, isn't it? Is it the twirl? What a question. It's blue. You know, it's a bit like this, it's a pro. The twirl is kind of a little bit like the galaxy ripple or the cabri's flick but in an encasement. Yeah, in a nice little court. So you don't get as much mess. Yeah. And the galaxy one, a little bit greasy, you know, but listen up I haven't got much done this week this week Andy because I've been listening to The country music again. Oh, you can't stop. Yeah, you can't get enough of it Can't get enough of it. So I'll I'll tell you about that if you give us a bit of music

Let's have a little listen to some country fucking music can't get enough of it so I'll tell you about that if you give us a bit of music. Let's have a little listen to some country fucking music. Here we go. I've been listening to that country fucking music, eating tindergur straight from the can. I've been waddling to and fro to home bargains Pushing my assation in this fucking prang I can't get enough of that country fucking music Makes me want to find myself and I still less We can cook together on my air fryer

And then roll ourselves on a blue drink, brewing class I'm not hungry, I'm not bright as a spark I'm handy, doctor, son, I'm pissing on shadow It's a blue shadow Sint of thunder I'm still drinking up that country fucking music I'm trying hard to get my chakras realigned I'm still touching strangers hair in the buscube And getting upset when my credit cards decline

I'm not pork, I'm keep, I'm not fried as a spark I'm in the door, oh what's on that pissing on shadows It's an on shadow news In the public door That fucking country music I would like this at this point to go, yeah! That always feels good. What should we, I've probably asked you before, what's your favourite cowboy country thing, stirrups?

I said spurs, I asked them, you asked me before, I said spurs, but then you pointed out that that's quite aggressive towards the horses. Yeah. To dig out the horses to spook them. Pistols, so pistols are good. Yeah. Saloon doors. I like a toilet pistol around me, me finger.

That'll be good. I beg you to right back at me, holster. I admit, we feel like a big man. Understand you don't get into country meals, you'll take your life over. I'm telling you I'm sure it will just leave it be Did you tell me someone invented TNT? Yeah, it was Mr. Norball who then came up with the Norball piece price and how weird you know like die cut to me contradiction or whatever That was just yeah, that was the thing that was his reason and was that he invented dynamite because he wanted

to invent something that was so horrific that it would end all wars forever. Yeah. But obviously it didn't, it just escalated violence across the globe. So we were thinking that I bought a bit of monkfish the other day and I opened it yesterday and it had gone, it had turned towards the dreary

our foot managed stank and you know like you'd think that if you threw that at the enemy that would end or was but it never happens. Yeah. People are feeling that. You think you're about that? Did you consider throwing it, you grittest enemy at the time? Well I did yeah but they'd just walk it, you know, they just take it. You got a tough enemy, have you?

Yeah, I really got a tough enemy. Do you have an enemy? Have you got an nemesis? Emerge a nemesis. I don't, you don't have to name them. Just, if you think you've got a nemesis, just see yes. No. Ah, that's nice. That's nice

Do you want a name Andy because you can have one you name if you want you can be you can just be onki-tongue Is it onki-tongue or running up dogs you are I'm running up dogs your ugly tongue. Okay. Well, do you want an offer? Yeah, I'll give you an offer. I quite like this one. It's just fun. He's a nice character. He's called funnion bargie Quite like this one, it's just fun. He's a nice character. He's called Funnion Bardji. Oh nice, yeah. So funny in it. It lives in Whitby and he draws penguins on coconuts,

you know, or sells them to the tourists. Law Peter, yeah. Watch his TV from underneath his coffee table. You might like that approach. Not keen on that, no. Chance Mango. He's got a flapper skin on his thigh that produces a palette every year that he throws at the milkman quite into that yeah that's

chance mango is that it that's it that's your choice this can be runny dogs I'll take chance mango nice to see your chance I do the idea of the pellet I've got some names for you but they're not. They're not names. They're group names and I'm offering you the the possibility of being the lead singer of one of these groups. Okay. If you want to speculate about what kind of music these are player you can. I like it. Are you having a bite on you? I'm on me trying. I'm on you. I'm on my timeout. Okay, Bob, you could be the lead singer of Sheila in the Piss Pots. Okay. You can be the lead singer of Five Cows Approaching.

Nice. Or you can be the lead singer of the Probe Tube Big Band Experience. Well, I'm not going anywhere near Probe Tube, and you're always trying to get that in. What was that second one? five cows approaching Sounds a bit like experimental jazz or something Could be or is it a dog fashion folk or something? Well, you've got to be the vocalist so it's up to you. What you reckon?

I'll be the I'll be the new vocalist for five cows approaching to the result. And we can only try and imagine what kind of music that would be. Hey, do you want to play this? Go on, then, Andy. I'll play a black fitgy blank. Oh, shit. Oh, sorry.

Where the bit wrong there? Must have pressed the wrong button. Blankety, black? Yeah. Very simple. Sorry, where the bit wrong there? Must have pressed the wrong button. Blankety, blank? Yeah, very simple. Or do you give me the, where do you think the blank is?

Got you. Yeah, this little sentence. I'll try and do it in a style of cherry walking, shall I? Yeah, he's blankly blank on at the moment. Is someone doing it? It kind of always seems to come back now and again with someone doing it. It kind of always seems to come back now and again with someone doing it. Okay. The Vicarate My Local Church says that he suspects the congregation has been eating during the sermon.

He said, last Sunday the collection plate came back covered in blank. Oh blanks. He suspected someone has been? I'll read that again. The Vicarate My Local, says he suspects that the congregation has been eating during the sermon. He said, last Sunday, the collection plate came back covered in blank. Oh, blanks. What do you think that might be? I mean, are you expecting Todd? Try and be realistic if you can be Fucking if someone's been eating and they're hand-to-played back what might be on the plate the rappers Is that your answer rapper? It's rappers. Yeah

humiliation No, what was it? There's garlic Humiliation. Ah, no. What was it? What was it? There's garlic mayonnaise. Yeah, you're fucking. Obviously, yeah. Well, that didn't really work. So probably won't bring that back again. I enjoyed it, Andy.

I just, it was a difficult one for me. Right. So most of it, Infinity Rocket Plastics formed me up this week to tell me he's having to put his prices up to the leaky bills, you know what I mean? Right. Yeah. But apparently he's been, he's mining for bitcoins and it's costing him a small fortune.

So I don't know what that's all about. Um, listen, these prices, Andy, intercept phone call 175 quid now. Hacked video footage, residential premises 250 commercial premises 450. That's a day. Wow. It can do a devil's and bag reverse router take over 10 pound an hour. Yeah. Dongle 3 Sky and BT 100 quid.

Right. Put it on them. That's not a problemad, is it? It's alright. So this is a Bitcoin related, is it? Well, it looks like it's getting pricey. I might just have to make stuff up under, you know what I'm saying? Can I just dig the jet before you go any further?

I was in Alicante for a few days, over the weekend, Shoprick, and I walked past a bitcoin exchange shop where I guess you go in and I don't know you get bitcoin, I don't know how it works but as well as that they saw jackets, so that was next. Jackets and bitcoin, jackets of bitcoin, yeah. Anywhere, sorry, continue. Well I'm just, anyway. He had a bit of footage of a meeting between Mick McCarthy and Nigel Pearson 50 quid so I took it

It's quite fruity That bummed into each other in a car park outside PC world in Bristol So I'll just I'll dad play that for yandee go for it Oh, no, Piers, send your busted. What's that you've bought? Some overbags. What's with the bastard? Do you want to fight? I'm alright. Don't offer to any bastard I will.

I should warn you that if you fight me, it will be a fight that you lose because I'm an excellent fighter. Oh yeah, is that right you're busted? Do you do British bastard fighting or continental fighting you son of a bastard? I employ strictly British fighting techniques to their highest level of technicality. That's f**k. That's why the outcome of my fights are invariably a loss for my opponent. What's busted in it for me if I win the busted fight? You can have these Hoover bags that I bought from PC World, but you will not win the fight because I'm an excellent fighter. I haven't got a busted over. I've got outward flaws, so I just use a busted broom, you fancy busted.

So are you saying you don't want to fight that you will inevitably lose due to my superior fighting skills? Yeah, because you're a busted, I'll fight bastards. Well then move on lad, I've a mind to fight you just for the fightingness of it. And at this point Steve McLaren and Casper turned up and the Steve had just been in pets at home by an ennecbel for Casper. Can you two stop with the nasty words? Fighting is just the silly billies who've never experienced true love and happiness moments. Oh God, not this bastard. You want to fight, McLaren, but I must warn you I'm an excellent fighter.

No, I don't want to fight. What sort of an example would that set for Casper? I've sworn to protect him from all unpleasantness in the world and just surrounding with cuddles and laughter and honey bee fun. Casper's a busted Casper flicks out his tongue and gives a look that suggests careful mate. I would love to fight that snake and pummel it with British fighting techniques.

Well, it's not going to happen because Casper is a long pipe of pure contentment and caneness with a gentle strawberry topping. Just as Steve says this, Casper leaps out of his arms and wraps himself around Pearson's legs bringing him to the ground. He spews up on his face, then uses his tail to ram the Hoover Bugs up Pearson's ass. Make just runs off into the distance. That searcher busted. I'm off to weatherbusters spawns for a pint and a busted old deer brecky. Casper you cheeky naughty bugger. There was no need for that. Especially that nonsense with the Hoover bags. Casper smiles as if to say yeah but it was a

sweet move. Yes it was fun. Now come on let's go and get you some candy shoelaces and a big box of fun and laughter bars. And they leave the retail park just as Nigel is declaring that he has just beaten the Hoover bags in a fight. And that's the end of the clip, Andy. Well, good, we're at the end of it, I think. Yeah, very good. What did you like about the ending?

I just like the way that it ended You mean you like kind of no, I just kind of drew a natural conclusion We didn't learn anything from it. There wasn't anything dramatic at the end Well now all your asses Andy. We learnt some very interesting things. Mick McCarty has a hardwood flaws Yeah, doesn't have a over now. Your biceps his overbags at PC World Courage. That's interesting. Yeah. Did not think. And it is asking a comedy it.

Some overbags. If they're random. But it's like, yeah, we learnt some facts. I meant we didn't learn anything, you know, about life. Well, there's a lesson in what Steve was saying. You know, let's avoid all the unpleasantness. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's concentric on fun and cuddles. Yeah. Okay.

It's a big day for us Andy. In a way, it's the Sunderland Middlesbrough, well, you know, Darby-ish match. You have to think of it. You Sunderland fans like to say it's not a Darby, as if, you know, Darby is much. You have to think of it. You sunsling fans like to say it's not a Darby, as if you don't care about it as it were. That's your thing. But for Middlesbrough, we haven't got anyone near us. It is a Darby for us, because you're the nearest club. Well, we've got my hearty pull,

or something like that, I think, they're not the closest. Well, you know what I mean. I don't know if you're not disrespected or at the pool, but we never play them. Yeah. I suppose it's probably good for people in the middle of the, I mean, you basically, you have this massive land either side of middle, you kind of isolated, really looking where you are geographically.

So it means you can get up to all sorts of no one really knows about it. That's right. Yeah. That's pretty good. I don't know whether you're doing it, but I'm not, I'm not going to expect you to let. But that's nice. But it means you haven't really got a proper Derby match. But so yeah, so you know, you've got to accept that we consider it a Derby and your fans always come down have a nice time, fill it out. Yeah, with all that in mind, I reckon one one. Is that your, your athletic omenstar be prediction? One, one. That's me prediction, yeah, what's yours?

Hhhhh! Three, one, either way. Wow, it's a tricky one. Okay. You got a good manager now, Andy. Well, we'll see. I hope so. Yeah, you'll have.

Yeah, you definitely have. Yeah, okay, this isn't a football podcast. Let's not get dragged down into that kind of thing. Um, oh, telly, do you remember a while podcast. Let's not get dragged down into that kind of thing Um, oh Telly, do you remember a while ago we said we're gonna both watch that glad Beck thing on Netflix a bit the German hostage situation in 1988 Oh, I didn't watch it. Have you watched it? Did you not watch it? Oh, sorry, man You know, you need to watch it really good is it? Well, it depends on what you define as good, but it's just a lamin

Well, it depends on what you define as good, but it's just a lamin. A lamin. You just watch and go, what the fuck? How? No, interesting. What? What is, it's almost like, because there's loads of like VHS video camera footage of it all going off, and it's almost like the Blair Witch project, where you think you're watching something that's been made as a work of fiction

in that style because it's just so ludicrous. Have you seen that? Have you watched the one that's the, is it in India where the Mal, the terrorists were in the Mal? Mal? No, I haven't seen that one. That's got a similar vibe and it because an awful lot of the footage that you see is from CCTV, you can't see cameras. Right. It's quite a harrowing one. Maybe I'll try and find out the name. It's pretty obvious to find. It's something that you should shoot out in the mall or something.

You know, a lot of things. They'll dress it up with something it isn't. The other thing I've been watching, Trian Rek, about the Woodstock 1999 festival. Yeah, I started it. Just descended into just absolute chaos. That was quite good. You enjoyed it. I'm just plowing through 90 dear fiancé Andy,

which I do recommend to you. Start with the UK one. Oh, I will get right into that. I will get right into that. I'm sorry. Yeah. I've had a request because if you subscribe to O.P.E.R.Y. and Club Pass Nips thing, you get the opportunity to ask us questions each month and one has come in from someone called

Josh and he says can we have Mark Lawrence and Top 10 mammals please. Nice one. Pass that on the mark and he sent a WAV back usually MP3 but he's upgraded a wav I don't know what that's about so here we go with Mark Lawrence and Hello Mark, Lauren Sennis in my top 10 mammals number 10 the grey long-eared bat. Number nine, the Chinese water deer. Number eight, the house mouse. Preferably not in my house, because I had a number seven Number five is the hedgehog. Number four, spider monkey. It's actually 100% monkey and 0% spider. And number three is the brown, long-eared bat. Two is the ring-toe's lem, Er, my number one, Marvel,

Ace of Cars, The Domestic Rabbit. Thank you very much. Oh, that was nice to mark. I thought, my favourite mammal is probably the honey badger. Oh, that's a good one. Thank you. I quite like the red panda, is it called?

Tisno such thing, Andy's a red? Tisnose, it's the thing under the red panda. Tisnose, it's okay. So I got a script for the upcoming episode of Jody Heat. Got an extra from it. I thought I'd read it out. It's a nice one this week. All right, and so... Jody Heats

Crime on the Time Hot Jody Nights Jody Streets Fuller Crime Jody Heats Full of crime! Jordy heats! Interior, Jordy heats incident room, Chief Constable Amanda Stavley enters the room. Everybody stands to attention. Eddie, Eddie how? Good evening Chief Constable, how very fucking lovely to see you.

Amanda Stavley. Just call me Amanda Baby. Hey guys, with any of you like some silk hankeys or exotic fruits courtesy of Amanda Baby? John John Shelby. Have you got any brood or ingest Amanda baby? No, the far to every day for Amanda baby. I've got Russian figs and Colombian drooping pears. Any takers? Carol Beadsley. You've got any eggplants Amanda baby? No I'm afraid not. They're too bulbous for Amanda baby's taste.

Do you all like my hair and my trousers suit? All. Yes, Amanda baby. Yes, Amanda baby. Then I like you all too. Keep fighting crime on the time for Amanda baby. Eddie. We will use all best best fucking endeavours of Amanda Paivi, you can rest the fucking tune in that. Amanda leaves just as the phone rings,

Denise answers, hello, Jordy heed fighting crime on the time, how can I assist you pet? It's me, Mr Sting, from the Big House, with the massive drive and the massive space Mae'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb i'r rhwb What seems to be the problem, sweetheart? There is a gang of bikers cheering around my grounds and making a right racket. Trudy is so scared she's climbed inside a massive yoga bell. Oh that sounds awful. I'll dispatch a squad immediately. Do you want to stay on the line? No I don't. Why is that pet? Because I mean the massive hot dog with the world's hottest mustard on it, and I need to give it my bullet-tension goodbye." Exterior Stings Massive House. A Ford Orion, Jordy Heat Squad car, stops halfway down Stings Massive Drive.

PCs, Beardsley, Shelby and DIHOW emerge from the car. They observed two motorcyclists meandering around the field adjacent to the driveway, Mr Sting approaches them. You're talking at time, you'll need to get a supercar like me. Now arrest these hills angels and rub for more, but tell the maman not. The squad beckon over the bikers. As they approach, we see that is Si and Dave, the hairy bikers from the TV. Dave, hi guys, I love your uniforms. Do you like your uniforms? We do. Would you like to come for a ride on our bikes and go see things?

We love seeing things, don't we Si? Yeah, especially on our bikes. Do you like bikes? We do. Carol Beardsley. Hold on, I know you're still, you're the ultra mob. Sorry, that's sting. Hold on. Hold on, I know you're still, you're the ultra mobal TV chefs. You got new egg recipes, I can nick of you.

Dev, funny, you should ask. We have a new recipe called a hairy egg, it's a boiled egg inside a coconut. I'm licking that, it sounds fucking delicious! John John Shelby, why have you two got beards? I hate beards, they obscure the neck and get in your teeth if I go in for a munch. Dave, we like beards. Do you not like beards we do? It's sun, isn't sunshine nice? Do you like sunshine, Sai? I do like sunshine, but I also like clouds.

Have you noticed some clouds look like puppies? I have, have you, Dave? Dave, I've noticed that sigh and it makes me feel young. Well, don't stop maddering on! What do you think you are? Don't turn about on your motorbikes on my massive field? Your bike's a shit anywhere. You should have spare spikes like me that run off energy plasma and invisible pulses. Carol Beardsley, I fwok on here pulses me, give me a neck any dare. John John shall be. I love a pulse, especially in the neck area.

Eddie howl. I ran enough of this f**king bullshit. Will everyone shut the f**k up please? Now you two outref**in' mobile chefs. What are you doing riding your bikes around on Mr Stingsfield without permission? Good question Inspector, get right to the heart of the issue. I commend you to the commoners

as your prince and super president. Yeah, Dev. We do have permission. Mrs Sting invited us round to cook a nice tasty casserole for her after a gone bath. Mae'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ddod yn gallu'r ffod yn y cylwyr, John John shall be. Wyl i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i'r ffod yn ysgwyr i' to pen with and don't stop on the way for fart off. He's just too much to sing that your wife invited them on to the fucking premises. Oh, daughtering a bell. No, that she was getting characters in for after a gong nonsense.

Well, it seems that it's been a fucking misunderstanding to the guys. So I guess we've not need any further. Not so quick Mr Inspector, I insist you are all rewarded with a rendition of my latest song so that you can go weary fresh and inspired. Dev, or I love songs, do you all love songs I do? Sting. Here goes. Oh Mr Mr. Sting, yes, Mr. Sting, he ran a thousand miles. Oh, Mr. Sting, that Mr. Sting, much faster than Harry Styles. He served the maiden and killed the poor, and then he rebuilt the village, with space Rick's father, that's it.

Oh, Mr. Sting, did a wonderful thing, 611 rhyme! My wee wee is dark! Dang, oh what a lovely happy song, did you not like it? I did, but the Jordy Heat Squad have already gone. That's Jordy Heat, what did we learn from that Andy? Man, I don't know, I need to dwell on it I think and then see if there's any lessons that come out later on once I've wanted to kind of ferment a little bit inside my mind. Okay, well I'll give you that opportunity. Do you think we learned anything from it? Well, were you listening? What are Mr Sting's space motorcycles but powered

with? I was just like question time now. Yeah. I can't remember. Energy plasma and invisible pulses Andy, so you do need to get back and do your homework on that. Right. Abacus from us Andy, go on, Abacus. Yeah, go on. It's, I've been in the biscuit section at B&M. You're the king of B&M. Oh, is it in fact me, Andy? Let's find out as we play. Oh, that's some tension. Pop, boring, penis, going, thwack, 16 pack.

Oh, yeah. Pee-ness! Dowing Thwack, 16 pack. Oh yeah! Dribble Slurp Hobbs. Give me just a little more time. Time, time. So three biscuit items from Homebag and Zandee. You said B&M. B&M, sorry I do apologize.

Price them for me lowest to highest of ice versa. You said B&M. B&M, sorry, I do apologize. Price them for me lowest to highest of ice versa. Right, okay. Box of Ritz crackers. 16 pack blue ribbons. One pack McVitties, chalk hob knobs. Most expensive is gonna be 16 blue ribbons. Okay. Then the chocolate hobnob and the ritz crackers are the cheapest.

You fucking nailed it, and the... Yes! I am the king of B&M! Oh, I wish I am the King of Be an M! Oh, I wish I was the King of Be an M. Well, don't I mean? Well, don't I mean, the least suspicious, because you said home bargains at one point, I thought, right, this is going to end up going to the ombudsman. It's all right, it's all right, because I won.

I've been on the phone too, the showbiz centre again, because we have the application for membership still hasn't come through, I'm still chasing that up. Nothing to do with me. So I recorded the phone call and I'll just play the tip for you. Here it goes. Anyway, showbiz centre, milk ejection speaking, open up, yeah. Yeah, it's like the show presenter.

Yeah, I just said it was. Oh, sorry. I was daught when they get an update on membership application. No, there's no updates. But I haven't told you my name. I suppose you're right. What's your name? It's Andy Dawson.

Yeah, there's no update that was pretty quick I know I've got the list of updates in front of me now and there's not there's none what do you mean the list plug that means there's no updates right well I suppose I'll have to wait a bit longer then yeah suppose so right there's everything I was double wild just wondering what's going on there at the day, or have you got in the show, but is sent at the day? Well Phil Collins has just turned up, he's brought his bungers, so that'll be pretty lively once he gets them out.

Oh, that sounds great, I wish I was there. Well, you're not. And it's Wednesdays, so that's woodwork club, right? What's that what's that about? Well, James Boilham's in charge of that, um, They're gonna be carving some sharks to deer, what? He's got a large sand pit with him, so I think you want some really smooth Oh, man, I wish I was there and make a flat lesion, he's gonna make a bottle and make Michael Crawford and it just looks like they're gonna get really pissed Oh man, really missing out

Well I'll call back next week, maybe, see if there's been any progress Yeah, do that, yeah Oh look, I'll have to go, I'll have to go Mike Tyson's just took the bongos off Phil Collins and Phil Collins is crying I'll have to go and start, I know, today Just took the bongo's of Phil Collins and Phil Collins is crying after going so I don't try And just hung up on us then. He didn't know much progress there. Did you? Zero progress. Zero progress. What's he called the fellow Milky Wilson? Milky Jackson. He's tough like yeah he's what they call a gatekeeper you know what I mean.

I'd really fancy getting pissed on Michael flatly and Michael baller and Michael. It's tough though. I can imagine? Do you watch all this stuff that's there's a bit of it about like house of dragons, the ring is back and all that stuff. I struggle. I struggle with stuff like that, all of that. Is it fantasy? The call.

Yeah, something like that, yeah. I can't be doing it. I'd rather watch like a documentary about copper's going around in that. What? Body cam in that. That's what I think. Okay.

Well, listen, do you watch it? I've watched the first one of the house of Dragon. It's all right. They've spent a lot of cash on it. So it's quite pretty to look at, but I don't know. I don't know whether I'll return Andy. I like watching Walter present stuff. You know, I've just done, um, just done one called the devil's throw.

That was pretty good. And I'm in the middle of, you know, it's my police procedural and all that. And I'm watching one called, I think it's called Hide and Seek now, pretty good, pretty good. But coming back to Earth away from the fantasy stuff, I've been, I listened to Talksport on Deadline Day, Andy. day and the alright yeah I taped a bit of it and I enjoyed it so I thought I'd play it for you that's a nice thing for me to do play it for you in it and yeah is it just on a tip just on a tip I just typed it on me a little cassette you know what brand is it feel it cassette recorder feel it and what's me tell you bass B-A-S-F say 60 or 90? It's a C90 just in case you know what I mean?

Yeah Don't get a C120 though because the fuck are these? Sometimes degraded Jim White is the first one you'll hear speak Scottish Guard You can do it Welcome back and I don't mind telling you that I'm so excited I've inserted a feed

in tube into my stomach and I'm pumping it full of dundee cake as I speak. Listen to this Simon. It's another talk spot deadline day exclusive. Maureen Finch, mother of Joey Finch, the young Preston ballboy has agreed with the club that he will be allowed to continue as a ballboy until the end of next season. What do you make of that Simon? It's quite incredible isn't it? Simon at well I don't know Mrs Finch but it sounds as if she's celebrating off the passive acknowledgement that a watch kettle diva boils and the outcomes will surely be judged by the optics through which they are viewfied. It's news for Preston, and even better news for young Joey.

How young is young these days Simon, especially on Deadline Day? Well, Jim, it depends on parameters and context, then whether a piece of string has a length that can be determined without doubt or biasesation. It's a paradox to say that it isn't anything other than that. Oh, thanks for that incredible and exciting analysis Simon, more after this, it's an advert than Andy. I have absolutely no idea whatsoever how to buy plasterboard screws and armor builder. What chances your average geezer got?

I need two litres tin of anti-fungal exterior paint but I just don't know how to purchase the stuff and I'm a painter and decorate it. God knows how pure public would get on. Frick a nightmare. I need some silicon sealant for a sink installation but for the life of me, can't think where I'm at, buy it and I'm a plumber. The bloke on the street must be pulling his air out then wondering where he can buy a bag to put it in. I just logged on to Yates.net and bought myself plasterboard screws paint sealant and a plaggy bag. How did I know this was the way to do it? Because I'm not a slack prick like those other jokers. Yates.net for all your building stuff, even rubble and hackockey Shite, you'd start net just clicking collect.

I love Deadline Day, I really do. It's more exciting than a paragliding over a minefield. And I've been there and done that. Now listen to this Simon, this is incredible. It changes the whole dynamic of today and the sport of football itself. Backwell Suari has turned down the chance to move to Lutentown, citing personal trauma as the reason. Now what do you make of that Simon?

The boys clearly are clowns, suffice it to say that these perceived personal reasons are not going to dissipate simply by stain put, and mithering like a little lady whose clogs are too heavy, and she can't be bothered to take them off. It's pre-indicative of perception generated by false or outdated thinking. You should have made the move. You've hit the nail on the head there, Simon, as always, and it's put it down on what should be the most exciting, incredible and joyous day of the year, but it won't stop me pummeleling that dondi cake into my feed

into you can be sure of that. More after this. There's another advert. Building supplies from Yates.net make it easy just click and collect. Sometimes finding the right 12 mil plasterboard for your job can be like peeling a carrot with a cat's paw, running up a mountain with a lion in your backpack. Trying to extinguish a barnfire with a g's paw, running up a mountain with a lion in your backpack, trying to extinguish a barnfire with a gif lemon, reverse farting into a vacuum, climbing a ladder in handcuffs, but with yates clicking collect, you're just one click away from getting the 12 mil you require. Don't try felling a tree with lipstick, just click and collect from dates not yet yet yet yet yet.net and that's how you ended the recording but did you end it or did it was at the end of the tip?

It was the end of the tip I got to see you. Yeah I'm going to tip you free tip and other stuff before you free my tip and then I'll buy you something on your off one of your mates Fleetwood Mac. Let's quickly play Are You Okay? Before we go. Okay, thank you for that opportunity Bob hiya Thanks for joining me today on Are You Okay? Bob

Yeah, Are You Okay Are you okay? Bob! Yeah? Are you okay? Think about it. No. Humiliation. Oh, I'm okay, am I? You are. You're okay, the dick. Yeah, I don't know what you're thinking there. I don't know what you think's troubling you, but yeah, you're fine Well, I suppose that's good news Andy

Yeah, it's a nice positive ending. I think the episode so yeah, there you go good luck tonight Let's hope it's you sent to you. Yeah, that's that's and let's hope it's a sporting occasion and That's a sport and occasion. And my only worry with the championship and the is that, you know, these teams coming down with the parachutes. The parachutes with the parachutes, yeah, the Premier League claim the reason for it is partially to protect them financially and partially to maintain the standard of the Premier League, yeah.

But if you look at the history of the last 15 years, the teams that have actually made an impact on the Premier League ship, you're less does, you burn these brightens. They're all teams, every single one of them, they're all teams that didn't have no parachute payment. Right. Something to think about there. Something to think about.

Is it is it coincident with middle to brisperishute payments recently ended? Yeah. Okay, just coincident. But it's it's it's it's a very uneven playing field we're looking at in it Andy. Yeah that's football for you there. And that's the end of this episode of the football podcast. Thanks for listening everyone. Thanks very much everyone. See ya. you