Athletico Mince - Ep. 19 - Shopping List Special

Episode Date: July 14, 2016

Bob and Andy forensically study each other's shopping lists, the Alderman takes Bob for a ride and there's more observational comedy. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Host...ed on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Alright, honky-tonk. Alright, dog Ronnie, Mr Fungalore. What happened to... Barionny and Mr. Luke Tennant Park and Ride. No, it wasn't Luke Tennant, Mr. Park and Ride. Well, I'd like to be called Luke Tennant Park and Ride. No, it wasn't Lieutenant. Mr Park and Ride. Well, I'd like to be called Lieutenant Park and Ride. I'm not, you're not.
Starting point is 00:00:28 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not some t-shirt, it's done up. Well, that's a shame. You're like... It's a military insignia, you're on... Yeah, well... Slaves. You're like, it's...
Starting point is 00:00:37 You're Mr Park and Ride. You can be Gareth Chaseman, and I quite like that. I just... Hey, what about Mr Alton about? Just fuck it all off. What did you say? Nothing. A rude word. All right, Mr. Parker, right.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Let's start fresh, because you know today, Andy is a shopping list special. Shopping list special. Oh, yeah. We're both, we're shopping list in to compare and contrast. Camping. How we live. Yeah. See what we've been buying Which when it comes personally when it comes to my list, you're better. You're looking at what's hot in the shops and looking at your list
Starting point is 00:01:13 What's not? We'll see well, we'll see anyway before you do that Let's get your credentials established as the memory man football phone roll knowledge Etc. It's a bit skews me if you don't mind, Mr Park and Ride, Mr Alton about, have we not established them yet? Well, how many, probably nearly established every week? It's part of the EU.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Let's do it quickly then. Right, memory man, Bob, do you remember the name of the England International Footballer who was immortalized in a soap on a rope in the early 1980s? Definitely 80s. Early 80s. Yes, 70s, early 80s, I'm going to say. Well, that's important. It was in the shops. 70s, but continued to be sold.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Okay, now that's fine. In the early 80s. That's fine, just wanted to clarify, right? Let me have a think. Think about it. early 80s. That's fine, just wanted to clarify right, let me have a think. Think about it. Sok on your crack plate there, what do you think? Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Oh, what about that, ladies and gentlemen? Credential credentials established. Yeah, you've once again You've only got me once and that's because you brought Hitler in the equation Oh, you know, I might I'm again. Just keep you on your guard. Yes, I am the memory man, and I've just proved it Hey, Andy, because it's a shopping special I thought that I what I'd like to do you know I love me observational comedy. Who doesn't? I'm getting a bet right, I think. Would you agree? That week on week, thank you. So I've done a little bit of observation comedy like about shopping and that. That's good. All right. All right. And topical. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:02:58 Hey, Andy. Oh, Andy, have you ever noticed when you're in the supermarket? Do you remember supermarket, Sparrow Air? Really big shops, do you remember them? Anywhere, and you choose a tell that's only got one person, but she's got lots of vouchers. Do you remember vouchers? Do you remember vouchers, Andy? Yes, the speakers.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Yeah, yeah. You see, you remember them? So you've enjoyed that. Remember in there. Yeah. It feels just you remember him. So you've enjoyed that remember in there Tosyastic audience. Thank you. Oh, and it's taking forever But she's got one for brass and Shiner, right? And she gives it to you because she's seeing you've got a brass hand Right, so you rush off to get the Shiner you get back in the cues and massive gets to your turn you find out the office expired, but you know, you've imagined a nice shiny answer, you're a beautiful price. Yeah, you have an artist.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Thank you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, have you ever noticed your park at the supermarket, your member's supermarkets? Yeah, and the car park is empty, but a pensioner comes and parks right by your car, do you remember pensioners? Yeah. You enjoy that, aren't you? And it parks right next to you and you have to squeeze out of your door and you damage your brass handle on the other car or at best some of your hand oil smears on the windscreen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Yeah. Yeah! You have an artist that? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I have an artist when you're in a supermarket, you remember them, don't you? Yeah. Well, you always get the trolley with the squeaky wheels. You love it.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Er, er, er, er, er, er. Then you realise it's not the wheel, trolley with the squeaky wheels. Then you realize it's not the wheel, but it's your brass hand. And it needs oil in and they don't sell brass lubricants. You're not a sat. Yeah, I didn't let that one. It didn't let the snowry or are you? Right. I find with it. I see you're annoyed with the supermarket.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Yeah. All right. Well, that's good. That's a bit that's quite supportive of it. Put you off your work a bit. The knockers you got a bit derailed. Yeah, sorry. Hey, what's the difference between a hip or an a zippo? I'll tell you, one's heavy, the other's a little lighter. That's good. Yeah, I'll tell you all right. Is a question for you, right? Like a brain teaser. Mary as 24 cupcakes,
Starting point is 00:05:29 She eats four between nine and eleven, right? A total of 13 between nine and three and six between two and five p.m. What does Mary have now? Diabetes! Ha ha ha! So that's, I've come back in traditional jokes with observation. It's a maths and some off-collate illness humor. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed it.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Most of it. I'm gonna call that my set. Right. All right. Well, can I ever go as well? Go on, for a pen sum as well. All right, here we go. Hey, now, well, the thing is though. Do you remember pop bottles? Like what you used to
Starting point is 00:06:08 drink you pop out of? And then you drank all the pop that you used to see it was empty. Every pop bottle is empty, you'd say. And then you chugged it into a bush. Remember that. I mean, I've been excited before, hey, of you. Do you like it? Because I'm not that fussed. You know what? I mean, that is gone. I want me, that is.
Starting point is 00:06:33 So there's some observational comedy. Yeah, straight in with three bands. Bands, bang. So there would be tight set, eh? There were, wire tights. Sometimes I think it's best. Get rid of the, the cack. In and out.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Yeah. Get the job done. You've got the jogs laid out. And even though you can convince yourself otherwise, you know, four of them are just tods. Yeah. And you could just put them in a dishcloth, wrap them in the newspaper.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Sort of a little bush. Love them in a bush. But that was 100% gold on it. Bang. Start to finish. And I would put on the back of your DVD. You know what? 14 second DVD.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah. I think I'd say, you're a whirlwind of comedy. It's a bit like that, yeah. Utterly fantastic. That's a bit like the butter as well, isn't it? I'll get that caught from you, put on. Yeah. Because you've got a bit of clout, haven't you?
Starting point is 00:07:21 You've blown me mine there. Absolutely. I feel a bit low now. That's the, you've, because you're down after the high, yeah, it blown me mine there. Absolutely. I feel a bit low now. That's the, you've lit because you're down after the high, you know, Steve McLeod, I'm a pro, I'm blown. We'll get the shop list in a minute,
Starting point is 00:07:34 but I've got to tell you this. Yeah, we'll get to that eventually. So Steve, what he does as he, as Steve does is he's took his car in for what's called a summer health check. Yeah, you tie your web, do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a thing where you take your car in and the busily rip you off
Starting point is 00:07:47 Charging 95 quid Tinker in for a man like Steve is just the reassurance. It's tire pressure Braces, isn't it Steve? You know the Jesse of them sorry regas the aircon Fill up the flow with washer fluid, you know, give it a quick hoover and all that played up the spear off the back seat Well in Steve's case, yeah, but, you know, like, I think it's perfectly sensible thing to do, and that's what Steve did. So he takes it in, and they have a look,
Starting point is 00:08:13 it's have a seat, Mr McClaren, he goes into it. They've got a little weight in area, and it's got one of them, you know, well, like as a vendor, coffee machine, vending machine, with fricking watsits in or whatever. Do the stool, do you remember watsits? Yeah, yeah, I had some yesterday. Yeah, what they still do.
Starting point is 00:08:28 I'm, yeah, yeah. So, um, is got the vending machine there and, uh, what I really is just waiting to come through and say, I'm sorry, uh, Steve, the calm Steve, the used to call him Mr. McLaren, Colin Steve now, because he got, he's, he had his winter health check as well, obviously. And they said to him. And they said, like they said, Mr McLaren, he went,
Starting point is 00:08:47 none of Steve's fine. Call me Steve. Yeah, call me Steve in these environments. It's not stand on ceremony. Yeah, if I meet you out in a pub or at the vet's or again, Mr McLaren, but so the come back to us, so sorry Steve,
Starting point is 00:09:01 when they tell you front passenger tie, he's repersoned and I can't, your spare isn't a right mix. So we're gonna have to get one from the, you tell your front passenger tie knees reperson and I can't, your spare is not right, isn't the right mix. So we're going to have to get one from the depot. It's going to be about an hour, right? So Steve's a bit flustered. It sits there for a bit and he thinks, I tell you what, I'll, I'll phone the fat lass. So he phones up and says, can you come down?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Right? Because he's got, I'm going to be about an hour area and, um, bring the snake down because the vet is just four days a a'r ymg i'n gweithio'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio.
Starting point is 00:09:38 A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. A'r ymg i'n gweithio. comes down with the snake and the take it to the vets. Going the vets explains all the spewing up whenever it's under stress or whatever and so on. So he has a look at it. And first off he gives the vets and you know the injection of that always gives. And the pet gives them the injection the 50 quid one. I think it's just for a good look for the pet in it and that gets the injection.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Then he examines it and says I think this could be a tip. To say this, apparently it's because it's a, because it's mice. Tipworms do. No, that's how the cycle of work, what do you call these things? Palsight. Yeah, they go via mouse, mouse Todd. And, no, that's incorrect. Not Todd. It's Todd once it's left the mouse whilst it's in the mouse. And it's eaten, I think it's called cack in it. Cack?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Cack had lost me now. Anyway, so it's got to be put on a boat. Gives it another injection. That a proper one. And I think it was that. Another 50 quid. not 50 quid. That's fine. Time is perfect, more or less.
Starting point is 00:10:49 Get back to Taya Web. I am a, I am a, I am a, I am a, I am a, I am a, oh you got your snake. Can I give it a stroke? A thermal routine, you know, like, you would like to touch it. It's much smoother than you'd think. La, la, la, la, la.
Starting point is 00:11:03 We've five minutes to be we're just balancing your wheels. Yeah. So Fat Las says, let's, let's, let's, let's snake up a runabout. He's had a bit of a shock. You know, in just, it's a bit, a bit under stress. Like just let it out a little bit around. So it makes a bee line for the vending machine, right?
Starting point is 00:11:20 Crawls in like the letter box bit. Yeah, oh God. Promise ya. So it's all wound up all amongst the fucking track of ours and the OAS, it's drinks and everything and all that. So, the one of what when it ups, so Steve can get his hand in. So he puts 50 payin' or whatever.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Yeah, the, you know the coyled thing. Yeah. Coyled thing is right against the, the snakes like chest. Yeah. You know, start spying. Push in squeezing it. Snakes face is right up and against the glass at the front. You know, I mean, there is neither mint touch. You know, they're so strong, Mitch. Spills its guts up like all spiked all inside the vending machine Right so but I'm laughing. What's the funny? It's terrible because the snakes panic in you know like and it's the It's like yellowy grained covering all this all it up. So Steve gets his and then
Starting point is 00:12:17 pulls it out Right pulls it from its tail pulling pulling pulling Like I don't mean to put people off and all that, but you know when tapeworms are agitated, they're used to take tapeworms out in the old days, they put, they put you over a broth, they'd starve you, they'd put you over a broth. And it would crawl out from out.
Starting point is 00:12:36 They'd get the broth from out. They'd get the broth from out. Well, some it's similar to happened with the snake's tapeworm, so when they pulled it out, yeah, this tapeworm, actually this bit didn't happen. This bit didn't happen. No, I just, I wanted to try and make it, but it's such an awful story. But so the pulled the snake out, um, made Steve pay for the entire contents of the vendor machine and a cleaning job. So his summer health check, right? Listen to this, listen to this, his summer health check.
Starting point is 00:13:05 I'm taught. Cost him 589 quid. He's got to get out of work, isn't he? He's got a job. Terrible week for him. Steve. So I heard what he'd been up to. He'd been a snake festival. Yeah. You know, one of them things where the solar sneaker one has congregate together in a field, a bit of a weekend. Yeah. And they, one of them things where the solar snake owners congregate together in a field a way again, yeah, and they get their wallpaper paste and tables and display their snakes. Yeah, we'd bait them one of them whether was nice or you know good stuff Um, please the weather was good. It was the the
Starting point is 00:13:37 culmination of the way again, which is the snake lifting contest, right? So what he'd done was again, he injected the snake He bought one off the star-writers on it. No he injected the snake, he bought one off the Steraiser, no, not a tranquilizer, he bought one off the vet, like 8 equid if you take it out. Yeah, plus 50 quid for the injection, yeah, plus the needle and all that. So he's drugged the snake, right? So it wouldn't spill up during the snake lifting contest. So trouble is he goes to lift it up, but it's gone all limp because it's, you know, because it's out for the counter.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Oh, so relaxed. So it's all limp. Yeah. And it wouldn't stiffen itself like all you the snakes when they get lifted up. Yeah. So all you the fellas, a lift and a snake, well, there had big stiff snakes.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Lovely. Right in the bottom of their heads. Beautiful, Steve. In the sunshine with the lovely weather like, yes. Yeah, the sun glistening down on the skin the skin is a colorful scale yeah and all of that and Steve stand there where is and it's just flopping
Starting point is 00:14:31 limp out of his arms either side and they de-scorify them oh shit man Steve's got a lot of just all the humiliation for him he's a love-tell one that wouldn't he? I think he fancy these chances especially because it wasn't going to spew up because he drank while I said but you know one year a band so he can't go back till 2018. He can't go back. He's considering
Starting point is 00:14:51 going back in the skies. Yeah, it's such a beautiful yellow snake as well. Or if you get caught out the window skies. Yeah, I mean I thought I thought inevitably it's going to spew but this is this more a tale of disappointment in it and regretting. Yeah, but he at least didn't spew. Yeah. Shopping, this special. So I've got your shopping list. Yeah. Do you promise and guarantee to me that this is your most recent genuine shopping trip? Yes, yes, it is. I will put the Aster and purchase the items you see before you on the receipt. You will. Well, it says www.Aster.com, manager shall I give him a name?
Starting point is 00:15:36 Check Stuart Craig. Hi, Stuart. He's got his telephone number there and it's the Sunderland brand. Yes, yes. So, you went in, is there, does it tell you what time you went in? I'd be interested in that. It's the largest Sunderland brand. Yes, yes. So you went in, is there, does it tell you what time you went in? I'd be interested in that. It's the largest Sunderland branch. It's not the little one. At Pennywell shops, it's the big one at Grinchtown. Okay, so you started off, the first thing you grabbed was your kitchen roll. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm assuming that's a massive roll of very low quality kitchen perv. Yes, it, a pack of it, very thin, barely absorbent. But you know what,
Starting point is 00:16:08 that's all you need. No, so you leave the shop perfectly happy that you've spent now on something that's worth now, yeah. And then we could get the job done. You don't need the quilted stuff. Lager next. Lager, then Lager. £11.25 it says, was that Pekana or is that some special offer? That's 660 milliliter bottle of summer gel. 5% and that's as good as you're going to get anywhere. So you'll buy your Lager based on pants per milliliter. No, but... The most strength. Plus strength. Fak it in. Nothing to do with taste. It tastes disgusting. Okay. Gotta get the job done.
Starting point is 00:16:49 So, you've gone on with your kitchen roll, your thin kitchen roll, you've got three bottles of lager. Oh, I'm a bit hungry, he says. Not like, oh, a bit hungry like. And you've got some noddles for a pound. What are them? Tell me about the noddles, is it playing noddles?
Starting point is 00:17:06 No, you know what it was, you've heard it's too, the noddle pivier. Yeah. It's them. They've got the hard hot water. They've got the hard hot water, it's like you're in an it's too restaurant. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:16 But in the comfort you're on home, in your t-shirt and your jog and pants. Okay, then what sounds like fun items, I think. Munch bunch times two two one pound each yoga drinks You're gonna get here at Adam hungry and I'm thirsty. He give me yoga drink. All right covers all the beers This keeps child line off your back and do you and do you take that down to the with cinema? You say you're taking the kids to see the what pets get up to when you're not there Yeah, yeah, you take your dolmay or they're telling me you're not there. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:45 You take your doll, Mayor. I love you, doll, Mayor. And I take a couple of pouches that you're going to drink for them. For the kids. You want to have it warm, the munch munch. Yeah. Well, time you get there, it is. Oh, it's like local munch munch.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah. Hormus. Yeah. That surprised, doesn't it? Well, that has to be. Did you have someone from the South visiting? Or something? Now, that has to be. Did you have someone from the South visiting? Oh, so it. Now that was 85p, so I'm assuming that's like,
Starting point is 00:18:09 as does finest or something like that. As the basics. Oh it's basics. Yeah. Right here. And reduced pies. Now is that reduced far or something? Or have you actually had to be reduced in price?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Would you like the teller to listen as the price of that? Let me have a look across the column. 99 pence. Now that was four. Yeah. Four. Yeah. Pork pies with the elastic are on. Four pork pies. 99 pence. Quite a bargain eh? When you say you say pork. That's a bit of a Brexit way of saying something. It's not really, it's not really pork is it? Well pork flavoring. So meat pies. Meat pierced, flavoured with pork oil. And have you bitten into one of those pies yet? I ate one of them in the car park when I got out. In your car or outside your car? In the car. Not a pig. Okay, fair enough. Here's a classic Billy Bear. Now I know that, that's Billy Bear luncheon mate or some is
Starting point is 00:19:06 That's for the kids is it my bait? Oh You still lack a bit of the old Billy Bear Mind you I tell you what Billy Bear comes in a quit. How much did you get for a quid? Oh About six lices six lices of Billy Bear. So that's nearly a whole head if you learn is it? No, you need let's not the depth of a whole head if you learn is it? No you'd need not the depth of a whole head but if you learn it end to end you could arrange it in the ship of a head. One of them was bobbins, one of them was molten milks. So again, are these as the fire in us, to our eyes?
Starting point is 00:19:49 Just as the wrong brand. I don't see any reason to get branded bobbin biscuits. Yeah. They're all a fucking sim. No, they're not. Yeah, they are. Well, all right. You're one of these people who believes there's just one factory
Starting point is 00:19:59 where there's a different button that says as a detest your Morrison's out. Different packets. Yeah. Because it's funny, I can never tell the difference between a Marx and Spencer's luxury chocolate selection and the as the party box point proven that yeah absolutely it's a biscuit isn't it more lagger there because you know that's just the audit came out the trolley more biscuits but these were 50 pay what you're what
Starting point is 00:20:23 were there you know I mean dodges I mean dodges yeah as sure if I'm going to be able to get a little bit of a little bit of Yeah, I know it's done the front of one of the packets or one of them. It says some like contains no nutritional, you know, yeah, it's got the contents no fat, no, there's no that. And then of course, but the sucker one is is also slightly smaller. I mean, no flavor. Yeah, that's, that's actually the bottom. You look right at the bottom of the list. And it says no flavor either.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Ha ha! And dip the pom bears in the hummus. Ah shit! So you buy them for you actually do buy them for that texture. Yep. That sort of packing case from texture. Cruising through this. Walkers, walkers, generic one pound. They were walkers bugles.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Not bugles. not bugles. Like bugles, like corn, mass on new things. New things. They haven't had them yet though. They're freely buffaloed, did you get? Barbecue. Really tasty, yeah, they're very morish. Now, another, another product called Cook to Meat.
Starting point is 00:21:40 What we're looking at there. Cooked meat. Was it just a big bin of meat and you put your each your hand in with one of those those cellophane gloves and like just ground meat. Just put them in the bag like a picnic mix. Yeah just brown meat. Sell it by the handful. Yeah cooked meat. We've got a total price here. I've missed out the tilde rice. You've just mentioned it. You've got a total price here of 34 pounds, 88 P. Not that bad, and interestingly you've spent that much, but you've managed to not purchase any nutrition. What's so ever?
Starting point is 00:22:17 Really? Yeah, it's not extraordinary. I mean, I don't know if there's like a bad thing. I mean, you're quite clued up on health and that, aren't you? Very much so far. You're hard at it, yeah. Is that a bad thing, I mean, you're quite clued up on health and that, aren't you? It's very much so because I've heard it, yeah. Is that a bad thing then? Hey, maybe you'd like to ask go on getting on with it. Not you're right.
Starting point is 00:22:31 I just go and find out the work. You look alright. You look what? Let's put it that way. All right, in the past. So there we are, 34 pounds, 88, no nutrition, and it says you saved one pound, 30. You don't actually get that one pound, 30, do you?
Starting point is 00:22:44 That's relative to a few bought in Kuwait or something. Yeah, alright. It's a good feeling to know that you've saved a bit. I award your shopping list. Three out of ten. Okay. Thank you for showing it to me, darling. I'm actually very much free.
Starting point is 00:22:59 I'd have given it ear to myself, but you know, opinions are like, ask what everybody's got one. So that's the what's hot, that's in the what's hot what's not, that's what's not hard. It's a two-peager. Yeah. It doesn't even, as I've got a total on, I'm gonna start with a total, £212.33. Yeah, well, let's me full weekly shopping it. I get it delivered on the right. And you've done this in your house. Yep. And then they bring it round.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Yeah. There's all kinds of shite on it. For example. Free range eggs. Yeah, that's shite, isn't it? What do you want them to? Traditional smoked salmon times two. Yeah. That's 10 quid on smoked salmon.
Starting point is 00:23:46 Yeah, lovely. Got the old man coming around. Yeah. Kisses salmon. You've got a coconut for $3.99? You've paid $3.99 for a coconut. Yeah, but you know what that coconut is for? It's actually to feed the birds.
Starting point is 00:24:02 It's got its full of fat and seeds. And it feeds the fish. It's got got it's got it's full of fat and seeds And it feeds the fish. We've got a woodpecker. We've got a great tips blue tips new people Jewelies peanut butter sandwich biscuit. Yeah, who's Julie? Do you know what that is? That's a savory peanut butter this biscuit? That's one pound 65. Yeah, if you know what the answer that would be 60 pens like the Bourbon's Yeah, but it wouldn't be Julie's would it do you know if I buy enough of that shit? I actually get to meet Julie something Tom. It's like a lowly card thing. Yeah. What else?
Starting point is 00:24:30 Carrier bags? 19 Carrier bags you bought? Yeah. 95 pens on Carrier bags. Yeah, but that's to hold the project. Did you say you understand? Oh yeah, God. Then not bring it around and then plastic crits
Starting point is 00:24:42 and you just don't know what it is. You're a whole way. No, they've got the crates hang on. Oh, oh, oh What is a gourmet soup for an adult cat? It's a cat soup for you cat Super cats. Yeah, absolutely love it. There's classic with chicken and veggies Yeah, and there's tuna anchovies and whitefish and it's a soup. Yeah, it's a soup.
Starting point is 00:25:06 You cut, does it eat it with a spoon? Well, do you know what, you would like to think so, but no, it laps it up like it would milk. But they absolutely love it because, funnily enough, and I've some something that he was even clarinet. One of my little cuts is beginning to spew up all the time. We thought that soup would be nice for its stomach, do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:25:26 And how's that working out? Well, I'm keeping an eye on it, I already want to talk about it because it's really sad. But yes, cat soup. I can't even look at this. You see what the problem is, is you're desperately looking at that for something you can criticize, your eyes are flicking about. Other day, Nangus, rib-eye stick. Ten pound, twenty-nine.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Ten pounds, can you imagine eating that? I can't actually. You'd love it, be better than the handful of your generic mate, your astamate, wouldn't it? Mm, no, I can't afford that sort of thing though. Walkers, Marmite crisps. Yeah, no, I sound there. They've got a lot of them.
Starting point is 00:25:59 I said that walkers, Marmite crisps, I've got what I'm gonna call a test boost. Green and Blacks, but a Scotch milk. Yeah, that's chocolate, mamacras, I've got what I'm going to call a taste boost. Green and black's butterscotch milk. Yeah, that's chocolate, Andy. Flavored milk butterscotch. It's not, it's a bar of chocolate. Christ on a bike. Look, you want to drop this one, cos you're...
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah, I'm giving this... T-t-t-t. It's ridiculous. And I'm going to go straight to the millionaire questions as well, because I've got a variety of... I'm going to compound shame upon shame here. Bob, as a millionaire with your ludicrous shopping list and eating habits, is it true that you force your slaves to wear nothing but grass skirts and
Starting point is 00:26:35 coconut bras during the summer months, even the lads? I don't have any slaves, male or female. The early coconuts you'll find around my house to contend bird feed. Thank you, next question. Mae'n ddod yn ymwch i'r ffemol. Mae'r ddod yn ymwch i'r ffemol. Mae'r ddod yn ymwch i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol. Mae'r ddod yn ymwch i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i'r ffemol i build a posh caravan park. Thank you. Well, I've been on Google Earth and I've seen that lamb behind you orchard. There's plenty of room for development there. I look forward to checking Google Earth in a few months. Yeah, where's the caravan site? I'm in a conversation area, a conversation area. I wouldn't get permission. One more question. Is it true that you and the Oldham and have started up a private Facebook group called Lips of a Kissing? There's some truth in that, yeah. I thought they might be.
Starting point is 00:27:32 What? Well, I've seen it. Yes, I did. I walk on your phone when you went to the boghole, you're on. Okay, and yes, I... And it's just lots and lots of pictures of close-ups of lips. Yeah. And pictures of various people kissing.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Yeah, if you get to kiss the alderman, you can record, you take a photograph and put it on the page. He's been kissing a lot of people, hasn't he, then? Yeah, he'll kiss anyone, the alderman one. If it moves, he'll kiss it, basically. Do you know how I mean? Fair enough. Did you know, Ion's a car dealership up in Stockton, Mallory?
Starting point is 00:28:03 That's why you're always up in Stockton with them. I'm always up in Stockton with them because we do charity work together for kids. Tough kids. Or do Aussie kids. Yeah. Yeah. Do Aussie kids. Cacandard.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Yeah, do Aussie. Any of them? Boss ID. No, no, don't be stupid. Alright, see you with them. Anyway, so he's got a dealership on the retail park. And he asked me to come up to launch a new model that there's flogging. It's like a big van thing called I think it's called a
Starting point is 00:28:27 sprinter have you heard of one that's saying that me see what they call the sprinter the new model out of it and I was going to cut the ribbon get a photo with the old man for the press and that you've been celebrating it well you know what I mean and anyway so I said we've done it all I said I've got to get a train from darling to get back and he said, well I tell you what Bob says the old man says I'll take you and I'll take you in the new sprinter. Oh I'll take you from Stockton down and in the sprinter. I thought well that's fair enough like he might want to kiss at the end of it. Oh a bunch of dudes, probably would. That's all right,
Starting point is 00:28:59 for you know why not. You've been there before? Yeah. So we're getting a sprinter and about half way there. He pulls off the jewel, carriage went to a layer by. Oh, yeah. Here we go, I think. Here we go. A kissing time, yeah. So I just think,
Starting point is 00:29:11 oh, well, let's just get it done. And then lean over, you know, to have a kiss on that. And he says, no! How dare you! Not in a company vehicle, especially the new sprinter!
Starting point is 00:29:26 I think, oh Jesus, he seems really, he's read in the first and that and everything. Then I realise I'm not alone and eat, yeah? In the back of the sprinter, you've got the town clerk, Edasaur Sirf says, Ed of the Parks department. All the gang. And they start chanting as well. Not in the sprinter, not in the sprinter so and so forth. So anyway, so it's going on a bit. So we get out in the layer by out of the sprinter and his eyes
Starting point is 00:29:53 look down towards the registration number, the old man's eyes, so I read it's YM16KTA and they all start, have you guessed it? They all start chanting, Y M K T A, Y M K T A, you must kiss the older man. What's the 16 for them? I don't know, that's supposed to be the age limit. Well, maybe, maybe, maybe the number of times you've met the kiss him, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:30:21 So obviously, I do. You got to miss your train. I'm going to miss my train. I'm going to get back with the journey. So I give them a lovely little kiss actually. It's nice, we had a nice kiss. I tested a bit like, do you know those party circle biscuits with the icing on them?
Starting point is 00:30:34 Yeah, yeah. Just tested like them, but with paparoni pizza, we saw a flurber. So anyways, I got on the train. The only, I asked was the only downside was is because of kissing the older man, I got on my train. The only thing I asked was the only downside was it's because of Kiss and the Old Man. I really fancy some pizza and they don't sell it on the train. So there you go. So I went a bit of a sell rent and what was a beautiful story.
Starting point is 00:30:54 Yeah. Having said that, let's remember, he got me to the me train on time. So what do you think of the sprinter? I thought it was really nice. And on reflection, I realized why he said not in the Sprint. It's company vehicle, brand new vehicle. He's got a flag. It's good to have boundaries, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:31:09 Yeah. Yeah. Anything else you'd like to talk about today, Bob? Well, I'd like to sing the song. And I've got a song as well, so we could have a song off. OK, then, yeah. Why not? You've got a song on mine first.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Let's have a little sing song. Let's yours first. Here we go let's jump in. Come fry with me let's fry yeah fry away delicious fair all fried with hot air I can shove it in your face you can eat it all or else all fucking spark you out Come fry with me, let's fry a fry away Chick-a-dip as many pizzas and a carrot Yeah! Yeah! I like it, Andy.
Starting point is 00:31:55 You like it? It's upbeat, a little bit rat pack Rotten all myself, original tune, original lyrics. I like it, I'm up against it there. Well, I've written something that's a bit more, it's a bit depressing actually, it's a bit downed. Scottish sort of song, but it's a Scottish Baker sort of song. I'm a Scottish Baker, I bake the Scottish pies, I've got problems with my drainage and problems with my wife. The two me be incognetant and interconnected
Starting point is 00:32:30 cause a bludgeoned hearth to death by repeatedly hitting her head with my welder's mask. I disposed of her flesh and bones, down the back kitchen sink, now my toilets blocked and my pie meets starting to stink. That will be 40 P. Mr. McKay, and I would eat it before sunset if that was my pie. I don't know, I'm gonna give it to you. It wasn't much swearing, it was there. I mean, well, I could, I could, I could, I don't know, I'm going to give it to you. It wasn't much swearing, it was there.
Starting point is 00:33:05 I could, I could, I could, I could, I could, I could live in it up. You know, I was Mrs. Morton, where I'd be a bit worried about the undercurrents in that. Well, I've got it out of me system now, but... I suppose so. Um, is that the end of athletic or mince for a week, Henry? That's the end of this week, I'll 30, all mince, I don't see any reason why we should see anything else.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Thank you. you

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