Athletico Mince - Ep. 23 - RIP Kenny Pepper

Episode Date: August 12, 2016

An encounter with Jeremy Corbyn, funeral-based homoeroticism and elephant-racing in this week’s episode of the UK’s top gas-powered podcast. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh there was a bit of blast for me as a full stop to your side there and the nice one. Oh I didn't think you'd hate that. I was supposed to just be under my breath. Yeah, I heard it with my ears. Oh, I kept turning them on, you know what I mean. Okay. Fork, amen. So nice to see you. Which is Ronnie Uptits.

You may? Ronnie Uptits, you found your one. Well, in this one, my dash, I should think the aqua, it's sweaty, aren't there? Well, underneath here. It is your choice. Did you have the six pins? Oh.

Frankie Holmeel, I thought that was quite healthy. Yeah, Valerie Simplton, interested in that. Hey, what about Jason Bourne? What about him? I'm saying what about you today? You can be Jason Bourne, Chad Stone, all that stuff, no? No, interested in firehawk. Yes, firehawk it is then.

Yes, firehawk. Yes firehawk it is then. Yes firehawk please. Yep. I shouldn't know I'm giving you a comic addiction so let's get on with it on this hot London day. Okay. Hey, I would just sorry. Your tits are probably so hot and sweaty. Right. Do you reckon you've a fry and egg between them? On this hot London day. Do you want to try? We'll try afterwards. Alright, in the street I'll crack it. I'll lie on me back on the pierrant. Get them out. Lobbineg. Just lobineg between them and say what happens. Okay, I'm interrupted. Yeah, let's go. I'm going to do a quick yes or

north with you. Alright, for us or not, right? Ready? Glue. Yes. Spice. The legal hike. No. Rides. Rides, rides, rides, rides. Look, I've put a bracket round round, I'm saying I'm not allowed to say anything, I'm a... But I don't know what the fuck rides are. Sturides. Ah, something no. No, one out of three. You like all three, dear. I'm not saying I like all three, I'm saying you got one out of three. All right, fair no, I got one out of three, I'm happy with that. Okay. Premier League starts this weekend. Does it?

Yep, it's a cosy, does it? You look forward? Yeah, very much so I'm going up to the Borough at the Mariah DeLoisches place. Right, do you think one of the best teams will be in the Premier League? I think one of the best teams will definitely be Arsenal. They're always one at the best. Okay, and who do you think one of the best players is going to be? I think one of the best players will be.

Very Ramsay. Ramsay, also of Arsenal. That's the Premier League preview out of the way. Thanks Bob. Thanks. Are you good at questions? You're general questions for me. I've got some questions for you. Yeah, I've got three questions for you. I've got a lot of shit to get out today. Oh yeah. So crack on with this. Let's fly through this then. Yeah, he would go three questions from Blood Reltas of myself. Bob, as a millionaire with your portfolio, your kitchen island and your bouillabees, the best steak I ever had was on the North Shaillers to Zibrugafari, as a millionaire, where's

the best steak you ever had? Was it here in an exclusive London restaurant such as the IV or the Angus Steakhouse, be cooked by one of your slaves or see done by your celebrity friend, Heston Blumenthal and bike door at your house in a hot box. Right, well I'm not milling in there, I don't know Heston, so I'm not going to call him a friend of mine. If you must know the best state I've had was that McCoy's restaurant on the year 19 just outside middle school right okay did you hire at the whole restaurant and I don't have any easy dreams I should say that no I had a private room now yeah yeah there you go okay right second question today is world elephant deer how many elephants do you own Bob and you can round it up while down to

the nearest five if you're not sure I don't own any elephants. Sure. Absolutely certainly. I absolutely certainly about that. Absolutely. If someone would present evidence that was to prove beyond all doubt the new own seven elephants, yeah, how would you feel about that?

Well, it doesn't worry me. Really, it's not going to happen. What you've got to prove. What elephants with personalized Bob Markman number place? I'm not seeing, I'm not seeing, I have got that proof, I'm just saying if someone would have proved. Well that's a bit of a non-sequity, I mean it was someone with... That's how I work. Alright, next question.

Question three. Worst of time honestly. Do you regularly get the Oldman and the other parish council dignitaries to come round your house so that you can raise your elephants around the back of your orchard on that massive patch of land? The Old... I don't have any elephants, the old man has never visited my house. I always go to him as it were up in Stockton, until he's pretty sure he has been here. Yeah, pretty sure he hasn't. Pretty sure he has. Well, I'm sure he hasn't. I'm sure he has. I think a jury would come down on my side. Have you ever been to my house? No, but I've seen it on Google Earth. Whereas I'm in my house every single day.

I think there's Yuri's going to believe me when it comes to whether the Olderman's visiting them. I'm just going to take a little print out from Google Earth and say that big patch of land, round the back. It seems to be getting transformed in a what could only be described as a safari park at the minute. That's the three questions. As ever, I am not satisfied.

Well, talking about the Olderman. Oh, yeah. A good friend of mine and the Olderman died. At his funeral last week, Kenny Pepper. questions as ever I am not satisfied. Well talking about the old man, yeah good friend of mine and the old man died at his funeral last week Kenny Pepper we've known him for maybe nearly 50 years now we all worked together at the steel steelworks in the 70s up in Middlesbrough Kenny was a layer of operator at the foundry and it was funny. Every day a woman used to come around with a trolley, a lavender whatever, with tea, coffee and stuff.

Why are you working your live? You're out of a break, you know? And did she wear safety equipment? No, she said a tabard. You know, I can't remember that there was probably some bell rang and said caution, tea lady. That sounds better. Now, we had a very, very long Douglas. Did he? He really long Douglas.

And it's absolutely true. Just can he pep as the kind of name, someone you think has got quite a short one, isn't it? Yes, a little stubby thing, but not a really long one. And what he used to do, and he did this every single day, He would lay it his dongle in the center of a hot dog bond on his bench and cover it up with a cloth. And when the tell you lad he got to him he'd pull the cloth off and say what do you think would go best with this? And she would say fuck up Kenny your pervert or whatever. Every single day, that was Kenny, anyway, anyway, he was killed by ISIS.

Not, ah! No, I mean, I see, I, no, not really, no, he was, he was very upset when his is Acer didn't give the return, no, he died. I was like, you're joking. No, I'm not at all, I just, I shouldn't have said he'd killed by ISIS.

No, he fell off the cliffs at Saltburn, you know, the cliffs at Saltburn. Well, eating some chips is little dog Perry finished up the chips, which is nice, isn't it? So he fell in the chips, fell with the floor and Perry had the chips, not knowing that down 200, 300 feet below him was his dead owner. And you know this how? How do you know this? Well it's a little newspaper.

Oh, I'm pretty sure. Kenny Pepper dies in cliff? The heart of its trove. So we went up for the funeral and it turns out that Kenny had left a note to be read it as funeral. So the read it out thanked us all for coming. And then it said in the last 10 years,

a great sadness had hit him because it's good friend Bob, that's me. Only seemed to have time for the Oldham and the letter specifically asked if as a last goodbye I could give him one final kiss before he were buried like. Right. I glanced up at the Oldham and I sat next to him and I first was red and I'll puffed out. You think he'd be alright with that wouldn't yeah. Well to give him credit through like his grittiest teeth, he says, do it Robert, do it. So Kenny, I walked to the front

and all the congregation and the Vicar with the Twitch and the town clerk were all, not chanting it, but just sort of like, I don't know what you call it, just rhythmically saying, kiss the corpse, kiss the cut you know what I mean? Yeah. But like, you know, respectfully kiss Kenny's corpse.

Kiss Kenny's corpse. So just as I leaned over it, it gave Kenny as like this final kiss, I hear. No Robert! Not in the Lord's house, Robert! Robert, please Robert! See his wife, and he went silent. Everyone turned and stared at him,

but I didn't know what to do, so I just give Kenny a tiny little peck on his cheek. When I looked up the older one, there was just like running out of the church, but you could hear him sobbing. Yeah. It's not nice, is it? So the town clerk and the Vickard,

great big grins on the face. I bet they did. Yeah, I mean, I've got one over on them. Well, I have wonder whether the letter was real, whether it was all aimed at getting one of them. Anyway, they seem very pleased with themselves. I went out as quick as I could and the old man was nowhere to be seen. I've tried contacting him, but he won't pick his up his phone. Right. I too bit on to be off here. Did you think I was right? I guess Kenny's caught up. It's the wishes of a dying man, isn't it, or a dead man. So yeah.

I mean, it just seems a bit odd. It's not like you and the older man are in any kind of like relationship. You're not committed to each other. Are you? Well, that's what I mean. It's not cheating or anything. I've never said either way. He's never asked me and I've been asked in. But it's a open status, isn't it? So yeah, you're free to kiss other men, other dignitaries, or corpses, whatever, he can't complain. He either needs to commit the year properly, or shut his mouth, shit, or get off the pot, as they say. I can't give him that message at the moment because he's, what was the call in Communicardo? That's where he is. He needs to pull himself together, doesn't he? I've been looking at the observational comedy roles. Pull them soft together, doesn't it? I've been looking at the observational comedy roles.

There are rules, are there? Yeah, and I find them a bit complicated, but I've got a new set I'd like to run past you. Go on, then feel free. You get feel free to critique it as well. If you want to this week, you don't have to be an audience. You can be like a judge. I'll see, I would go as if I feel like I want to be an audience

and jump in and participate, I will. Okay, right. Whenever I fit eight, are you like me? Listen, right? Whenever I put, oh, jesus, whenever, oh, whenever I fill out an application in the part that says, if in an emergency, who should we notify? I put doctor. I mean, what's me mother gonna do? She's got a brass hand. So that was the first one, that's good. So there's a joke in there, I think it'll play it. Evernortist, have you ever

noticed that children can be very unruly, for example a party sports event or family picnic, picnic you notice that yeah so I'm not got one off yeah I'd leave that one hey hey I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law I mean I ever said you know I'll put what I said no six should be enough one of them as a brass underneath fucking lethal that's like that would be. That's it. That's it. Is that what it is?

Yeah, and you've just stuck a breath on then. Yeah, that's what I thought I would do. I'd get some observations of comedy jokes. Then just love brass and proven ones from the past. Yeah, it's like comedians. So it's out my list one. Hey, why is it called alcoholics? Anonymous.

When the first thing you do is stand up and say, my name is Robert and I have a brassande. Hey! Hey! Yeah. You've done that again, you've took a joke and you've put a brassande on the end, isn't it? So, hey, if you think nobody cares if you're alive,

try missing a couple of permits on your brassandeye! That's good. Yeah, it sounds good. That's good, because that resonates's that's good because that resonates. So that's me set. Yeah, you're not planning to do Edinburgh, are you? No, right, just as well around Bigger than Edinburgh. We're stuff like that, man. You think? Yeah, I think it needs a bit of work to be honest. Okay, well it'll get a bit of work. Well, do you want to hear mine and then you can maybe see how it's done properly. Okay, let's see, have it. Lesan Jettmann and D'Darson with this peculiar brand of observation humor.

Right, right, listen. You've been watching the Olympics. Are you saying it? Did you say the marathon? I'll come, they don't call it the stickers. Hey, sponsorship. It's a bad news yeah listen do you remember the proper Batman you know the proper one from the

1960s when he used to be in a good mood not like the new one was I was got come on about so much yeah that's good I noticed that. I like that one. Yeah Hey, hey listen listen to this. What's the deal with Shetland? Paul needs? What's that all about? They're just like proper horses, but you can fit them in the back of a transit van Or do you want to put a horse in a van for who's fucking idea was that? It's alright. So I think you should have gone small in the transit. Like a hatchback? Yeah, look like maybe in October or a state. A panel of handsome like that.

Yeah, but anyway, it's alright. I can always change it. No one's going to hear it. Is that it? That's all I've got, yeah. Well, that's the observation comedy. Okay. Out the way.

You mentioned the Olympics there. I was watching the diving, you know, Tom Daly and what have you. And I was just seeing myself because on the one Tom Daly, Todd Daly was doing, there was a couple of them Ukrainians, they're like, ran right at the full length of the board, then did their dive. And it made me, it made me think to myself, there isn't one in diving where they just run and say you can dive the further, which seems to me like the utmost obvious. So I'll take the principle of the long jump and apply it to the diving board. I just, I'd watched that. I've got no interest whatsoever

in the diving. Yeah. Or any of the aquatic sports, I think they're ridiculous. As is the horse dancing, as the horse dancing, been on it. I saw like a posh bloat with a top hat on, I presume that's what he was doing. Not interested in any of that, but that thing you've just said, I'd watch that. Yeah, because it takes out the subjective, you know, all the voting and all that, it's just, oh, you can just dance the first.

It's just statistics. Yeah. Or who dare jump from the high, I don't know, it's just a bit more, anyway, but I've quite enjoyed the Olympics, I keep my eye on them. Always upsets me that there's no darts and no road, is it rodeo? rodeo? rodeo. Yeah, it's a fucking brungle. No rodeo, proper rodeo, you know, wait, stay on us as long as you can. And also the darts I think that... Darts are going to be, and you're going to have pistol shooting. And archery, so why not darts?

Exactly. It's just eye to object coordination or whatever you call it, in it. And so that's my Olympic bug bears. Is that your Olympic roundup? That's my Olympic bug bears. You've got things you'd like to praise about the Olympics now. As a contrast. I think that the woman who represents the British Broadcasting Corporation, what's she called? Jenny Han, what's the woman called?

Claire Balden. Claire Balden. I think she's very good. Right. Very professional. And it's not all bad news for the Olympics then. No, I've enjoyed that aspect of it. Have you ever done anything classy in your life? You know, really classy, like a water color of a trout stream

or bought some personalized stationary? You know, something really classy. I've got some of that perfume water from the Iron One. Oh, that's classy. Yeah, or is it? Is that classy in it? It was nice. It was like, it was like a popery.

Wow. It smells classy, Wow. Smell. Classic, Andy. And I've got one of those things, speaking of fragrances, I've got one of those, um, freshness things that just squirt out a jet every ten minutes. Some chemicals. Yeah, spread some chemicals in the air every ten minutes. And then you keep it all so dear.

Rest on your car, put it in the fungalore. Yeah, fungalore. Yeah, do you do upstairs and downstairs with it? No comment. No comment. He says no Okay, what hey this week I tell you what caught my eye. What's that? The bramble over hanging under permanence. No, I tell you what caught my eye. Did you not say, yeah, the absolutely straight up. She and he freed. Yeah. Yeah. She and this absolute I don't I don't want to get it wrong because it's like she is part of the Nazi breeding program. Is she? No, I promise you and she's like a figurehead for the is it? No, in no way. but it's not it I don't know why it's

extra because it had to happen so she's the result of a liaison by from a a German soldier yeah and the mum was just I think no we I think no weegean civilian yeah it's good looking woman I just found that extraordinary to read that headline you know the but there you go it just as a that's something that caught my eye, and it was a follow up to my previous item, what was it about the Olympics I did? Back the long jump of the dyno, but I summed it up with a word, like a bug bear. That I have done the Olympic Bug Bears, so, and I've found out what caught my eye? I would try to introduce new topics into the film.

It's about time we did, isn't it? MUSIC MUSIC I was in gear last night, really. And I went to see the Leibor leadership debate. OK. Owen Smith versus Jeremy Corbyn. Yeah.

Very interesting. About 11 or 12,000 people are wrecking so I reckon Leib has probably nailed on her. She had to turn out where was it in the town hall or somewhere. Yeah, just in the town hall, yeah, but there was loads of the door at the back so like singing. So anywhere. Oh, the sliding doors and they are great big old door. Big old door. So I could write. Yeah, sliding doors and ge are great big old oak door big old oak door okay right yeah with sliding doors and geated Jesus Christ so yeah I got there early got down the front and the Corbin comes on right

does he 20 minutes at the start all about stuff that he hits anything like going to see yeah good up now good ice breaker there's a couple of songs you know then there's an interval um so I'm nip out for a fog yeah while he intervals on because I've started smoking again. Go around the back for a quiet fag, because everywhere I go, they stay at it.

Oh, look at him. There he is, he's fellow with the fat voice of the podcast. Look at him, smoking. So I'm having a tab, mind him, your business. Corbin comes out the back door, right, with his pipe. Oh, he has a pipe? He has a pipe. Kendall Shag, I think he was small. Nice the role. So yeah, it was actually, yeah, he stands next to us, lights up the pipe. He just

looks across and he went there, seeing you. He says, all right, he says, seeing you in there, seeing you in there. Fancy yourself a bit, don't you?? Ooh. I mean I do. Yeah, I know. I said like, yeah, bit, yeah. He says, it's, it's, it's off. Lift his nose a bit, you know. Get a bit cocky, he says, yeah. What's the most number of times you've ever driven around around about?

That's what he challenges you with. Yeah. Yeah. So that says, what sort of, like, mini roundabout? Mortar weird junction. Good question. How many exits? Yeah, good question. He says four exits.

Not a mini, but not a full sized town roundabout either. I know what you're saying. In between. In between what you mean, yeah. I think the most I've done is probably three. Three times a round one of them. So it's three. He says, how many times do you reckon I've gone round?

He's quite a cocks show fellow, isn't he? Well, he's probably not bad, but I'd be tempted to say six or seven. How many of you think so? Well, I said nine. Right. He says nine. Nine. Yeah.

Brick. It says trouble at 27. Oh, 27 times, round about. He says, yeah. He says once you get past the first four or five, if you're fast enough, other motorists can't get on the start and notice. He says they stop and they watch, they don't want to get on. They just want to watch you go on round and round. He says the pedestrian's there, watch as well. It's a fucking amazing rush, he says. I'm like wow, yeah, exactly. He says he

get locked into it. it's almost sexual. So that's his passion, that was that's what he's in there. He's fucking weird, isn't it? I think he was telling the truth, but it sounded convincing. Yeah. And then as they get a bit of an awkward silence after that, obviously, because I didn't want to sit after that. He says, yeah, anyway, I'm going back in.

He says, if you can guess what, I've got a new pocket, you can have it. So I says, a tenor. Yeah. I says, but it can guess what I've got on my pocket, you can have it. Sass is a tenor. Yeah. I'll say it's tobacco pouch. I thought I was going to be a pool bowl or a tenor. Right. And it was a tenor?

Well, that's it. So you give it? He give you it. Yeah. So that's the two sides of Corbin, isn't it? Yeah. You know, the like robotic fix. Minotinous.

Yeah. Dairy. Well, that might be a bit. Rundad figure, but then, when he's off the leash, 27 times around around about, yeah, the passion in his pocket, a tenor. Yeah, I was gonna say 20, but I thought he's a man of the people.

Yeah. He's gonna have the nominations of a tenor, isn't it? So, did you like him, if you've met him? I mean, did you like him, or? I liked him more now. Yeah. Now, I want more. Yeah. I want more of that. So, wherever mean, you like him, I like him more now. Yeah, now I want more. Yeah, I want more of that.

So wherever he's on next week, they want another debate. Yeah, I'm going to go along. You can get around the back for a fact. Hopefully, yeah. So wife's got some questions out there. Oh, that's nice. What's that? What's nice?

That the wife's got some questions. All right. Did you think I'd just say something about the window or something? When you're up, the ass there hi Andy, hi Mrs Mortimer. When you're up the Azda, do you have a specific aisle route that you stick to at quite a slow deliberate pass? No, I dash around random angles. You're calling for what you need to buy.

I don't know what I need. Yeah. Yeah, I don't plan it head. OK. When was the last time you purchased unprocessed food? Do you remember that? It all. Unprocessed food, that fresh fruit and vegetables

counters that we can't resist. I will not be much. March, what did you buy? It's talking coconut. processed food, would that fresh fruit and vegetables counters that would count as our lunch? March, what did you buy talking coconut? Grips in March. And last question, fully enough, is one I've already asked you, which was in summer, is it possible in full sun, the fri, and egg between your hot nets? So we've already got an answer to that.

That we're gonna find out. We'll find out for next week. Yeah. So, um, I've got a terribly sad story to tell on here about, um, Steve McLaren. Oh, geez. And I want to do it again, because I don't know what I'm going to get through it. So can I do your memory, memory, microchosen point? Yeah, of course. Okay. Let's test your memory, microchosen shells, because we have nothing for a couple of weeks. Okay, let's test your memory, man, credentials because we've known that for a couple of weeks Here we go. Okay, Bob Do you remember the name of the actor who pulled on you hold on hold your asses?

What I hold myself out was a memory man who knows every statistic about football from 1876 to the present day is this a? No, we haven't done football for a few weeks. It's open season now. What a shy and a way of the challenge. No, I'll give it a go, but I haven't held myself out to know anything about it. You're in show business. You know, you should know about actors and stuff. I'll give it a go.

All right, here we are. But yourself a bit of time there. Didn't you? You've got yourself thinking, oh, it's an actor question. Yeah. I think about actors. Here we go. Do you remember the name of the actor

who played the role of kitchen Dennis in series two episode three of Minder? It's the original Minder with Dennis water menace, the sidekick, and not the shitty remake. Eight, the other fella, or Shane Richey. We thought it was an 80s, yeah. Yeah, series two, it would have been about

90, 80, 80, 1 pro. Just remind me of the characters now. Kitchen Dennis. Okay, I'm on it. That's a good suck on the crack pipe there, why do you think about that? Yes, I do. Yes.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Yes I do, yes. That's fantastic, incredible stuff. Yeah, I thought I had you there. Yeah, I had you but no. You thought you did like to see the look on your first. You were already celebrating, Master, I was having no draw on the pipe, weren't you? I was, but no, never mind. Hey, did you know that's let the go minors?

The UK's top gas powered podcast now. It isn't, is it gas powered? Yep is. Yep. Can you back that out that factor? It's something some fella told me earlier on what did I do read the gas mate? That's an old you said tell you oh well what's his name? Thanks for telling us kitchen Dennis kitchen Oh, he's a kitchen Dennis was it So I've got a new kitchen appliance. I just wanted to give a shout out to. Okay.

If anyone's interested because I've enjoyed it, you've made a big cake here, chocolate cake, sponge cake, whatever. And you've got to cut it across horizontally, probably to half it to put your cream in the middle of wherever you put jam or whatever, or to slice off the top so that you've got a nice flat top. Yeah, but always a bit of a problem getting a straight line. It's not easy, is it? Not easy. Well, the wife bought this thing that's like it goes over the cake. It's circular, it goes over the cake. right? And every two millimeters, it's got a slot, yeah? It goes all the way across the circle.

So you insert, I've I just get, so you insert your knife in the chosen slot. Oh, it could height that you want. I've put it right across. Hey, that's brilliant. The cake. I've seen it work once to perfection, and I can't see any reason why it's ever going to fail.

So you wonder why they didn't go on dragons den with that. It's got the chamfer Allen. But I keep it, let's face it anyhow, I'm a bit pissed off because you've got the world's best kitchen appliance with your air fryer. So I suppose that's me motivation, but I'm gonna try and top you and I can't at the moment. Well, you're already miles behind because next week I'm gonna be on Channel 5.

Doing what? I'm gonna be on Channel 5's 50 greatest eye level grills. Are you? That's gonna be on next Wednesday night. The last year of the year. After a big brother's on the side. Oh, so the one of them talking heads on it. Yeah. So I'll sit there and give an opinion about the hot point or maybe

as a crater or a British gas one. Well, the Parkinson's cow is the best. The double-ended one. I think they haven't got me that asked to talk about that. So a bit more famous on. So what have they got footage of? I've rolled up web on. Maybe it's talking about that. But web, it goes on now levels. Yeah, are they going to have footage of it? There'll be footage of all that, Bertie. You've got that nostalgia kick. Lovely.

And then me talking about what it used to be like. I mean, I might do it in the, you know, the observational comedy voice. Yeah. I'm not going to do that now, because I don't want to waste it on this free podcast. I'd rather keep it for Channel Fire, where you get the reasonable fee. You wouldn't give me one little bit of, it on this free podcast or rather keep it for channel fire where you're getting the reasonable

fate. You wouldn't give me one little bit of reminiscence about the eye level grill in your observer or voice but not try and be funny. Just for example a simple sentence like the white enamel Parkinson cow in 2000 was a beautiful grill. No I'm not going to do that. Well thank you. Thank you I just have to bit a dead air there. Well, you shouldn't have gone with the question, should you? You should have normal signal. I won't fish in this week. Did you? Yeah. Who was that with then? I went with Paul White House. Oh, I, you know, you know, such you, sir, I don't know Paul White, because I'm not a millionaire celebrity, but so we so we stood on the bank there. Paul saying so to you sir. Is that why this week's podcast couple of years later is it? Yes, one of the reasons and me shouting you wouldn't

let it lie. Yeah, at the fish. No, I just ate other. And there's laughing and doing another one. Yeah, I can't think of that way. And I realized you'd forgotten your fishing gear. So it was just two men standing on the side of the riverbank, two very... Shout out the catchphrase at each other, two very old men as well, tell you. Is it time for me? It's devastating what's happened to Steve. I don't think anybody can wear any longer, I think you need to give us it. Okay, well it's with a heavy heart that I tell you what's happened this week. Somebody on Twitter, and I think it's Nick Motown this week by the way. Just tweeted saying could you, uh, uh, uh, frasals, frasals, but the size of rivators blind me.

Somit, and I've got to applaud him on that. It's a wonderful thought in it, isn't it? Isn't that something? Have any, could you have him one sitting though? Well you'd have, um, that's a yeah. Four? And you wouldn't need to put rum or would you put them? I'd put everything in my hand put a rum and yeah.

Well a lot of watsits. Everything goes down as you were a bit of butter on it. Yes, it's a little bit of lubricant. It's a watsit the size of a baguette. Are we going to put them in a tits up before I put the eggs on? Come on, please. Yeah, no worries. Do you want proper butter or like the spreadable, I thought any of that law fatch it?

All right. Steve's coming in tits. Steve, difficult week for him, right? So for about a year now, he's had a problem with his shoulder, right, and maybe a torn tendon, something like that. And it's made it very difficult for him to carry casper on his neck like he likes to, but he still does, but he's felt the pain.

So he went to the doctor, takes his top, doctor's take your top off, and there's like this sort of acne poxy sort of rash on the back of his shoulder shoulder and the doctor examines it Then starts poking at it with his teaspoon and then he like what he does He just like prizes the whole lot off and it is just like a player to snag In accumulation that's crisped like gone crispy on his skin and he just thought it was skin Yeah, he just thought he got you know, and so the doctor says, well,

it won't be both of them laughed. So, it's bloody Casper and it's dribbling out of him when he's on your neck. So, well, that's good, but the problem is, that's obviously not the cause of your problem. It's probably some internal, as I say, out of tendon or whatever. So, Steve, just as he's getting his blood pressured on the neck, stats, explaining that, you know, he's out of a job at the moment. Casper's really not very well. And that the fat lass is getting really nasty because he's around the house so much in that.

She says to the doctor, she's even threatened to make him choose between her and the snake because you know of all the spew that it's laughing at. It was stuff that other sex, DMs, the fleeces and the leggings and now all kinds of spew stands on them. You know, you know, Steve spent nearly 1,000 pounds on a pair of like purple sort of satin, Jimmy, Jimmy Choup shoes trying to keep her off his back. You know, just getting that I need to tell the doctor that. Well, she likes, she wears DMs though, why would she want to

wear DMs? She wears DMs more than tonight, when she's down the social club and that, but if there's a wedding, something like that. You can give me tubes on. Yeah, put them on, she can't walk in a mandy, really, to be honest with you. She can't compare a flat on her bag for the end of the night. Doctor realises, he's depressed, that's the problem. So he gives him some happy pills, mustn't take him while I'm still watching him, I glass some milk, whatever. Lobbs toe down. And he's happy as Larry, he's at home singing his song Convoy. I got a brand new Convoy, all that watching the cartoons, yeah, even puts his...

Even because he hadn't done it for ages. He even went and the garage started up his clown car. You know, just to keep it taken off. Yeah. Anyway, the only thing that's still making him feel a bit sad is Casper. It all seems really down in the dumps. Steve, even, well, two days days before this Steve had to even caught in caught Casper eating like well like sort of chewing at one of his own tards.

That's no good sense. It's awful isn't it? So Steve what he does, Daphne Steve really crushes one of his happy pulls up and puts it inside a mouse for Casper. Yeah. You know see if it's here. It stands to raisin. It makes sense. I think it's fair. It made Steve feel better than you. Yeah. I wouldn't work with Casper. So a kick's in pretty quick and Casper starts dancing on the kitchen floor, like spiraling and zigzagging across the black and white tiles. That's good. You're bouncing off the kitchen units, like in the S shape. Yeah.

Unfortunately for Casper, the fat loss is trying to cook a big pot of beans at the same time and Casper bangs right into her legs yeah. She turns around and like she gets she's looking down she can see him dying about on the checked tiles yeah. It's a flash of colour and a black and white and a black and white. She starts feeling a bit nauseous and real as is, she's going to go into a fit, you know, because of all the strobing with Casper bouncing around. But kitchen strobins are worse than that. So she can't look away and she's heading for a fit. So a blesser, she's booted Casper full full force harder she can and I he goes straight up the air he ricochairs off the kitchen island yeah smashes into the vanation blind on the window then he just drops down like a sack of just lifeless. Fuck. Fucking hell.

Casper, I love you. We were touched tight every night. Casper, I miss you. You were there when I bought the waffle maker. Oh, Casper, there is a piece of sick That you left behind on the kitchen blind, And every time I see it, A tear falls on the kitchen floor Where you danced like a trubertor. Casper, I'll remember you for the good times, not just the spew. Casper, we'll meet again and we'll be touch tight in the afterlife. Casper, I loved you. This has been Athletic Commons. Hopefully we'll be back again next week. Thanks for listening. you