Athletico Mince - Ep. 25 - Inspiration, Sophistication, Integrity and Style

Episode Date: August 25, 2016

Mark Lawrenson’s pest control exploits, some carvery analysis, the latest Casper news and a strange visit to a Jeremy Corbyn rally… Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, are you honking your tongue? Oh, sorry, I interrupted you. There we've got a bit of a shot. That was shot and shot like a stubby side to start off with. A bit of a shock, that was short, short and short, like a stubby side, just out of it. A bit of a blaster. Yeah, short, short, short. Just to try. Get you rocking on your heels from the off, from the get go. From the get go, it was meaty, a bit of a, like, almost like, a bit of a light in a room,

until it's something like, maybe, bobbrel drink mixed with lemon curd, you know. So, marmite, marmite, sense of marmite. Power wise, I reckon, I tell you what, you could easily dislodge the pepper from your pepper pot, you know, if it's stuck in the little holes. Short, sharp. It'll be perfect for that.

If you need to. If you needed to. Anyway, yes, thank you for calling me on your tongue. You, as always, have a choice. Would you like to be today? Okay. Hit you with Ramirez tapestry. Thought that might appeal. Nice.

A vocative. Yeah. Omelette Ron, straightforward, decent feeling. Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Deer Trip. What you reckon? Not Sakeen on that. That's the case, I have surprised me.

Gary from Admin. Now I think I'm a bit above that sort of thing now. Mr Chen. 20 years ago, but you spoke not anymore. Mr Chen, I've got a podcast. Mr Chen strap. Uh, fff. Now you know, that was that first one again.

Well it was, it's exactly the exotic one, Ramirez tapestry. Yeah, I think I'll go with that one. Alright Ramirez. Alright. Nice to see you. Thanks honky tong. I'm, there's plenty of seat tape at the deer, but I've chosen to sit on the floor. You do, right? It's because of the weather, because of you.

It's just because that seems to be the thing people do at the minute. Oh, I see, you're referring. They'd say it was political reference. Yeah. The topical reference. Well, I don't know what happened with that, Andy. I couldn't be bothered to find out. Am I right in thinking that he couldn't get a seat? That's basically what it's about, yeah? That's what he's seeing. So he sat on the floor like some kind of hippie. What happens to us all?

The child trends are packed. Was he making a point, was he? I think that's what he was doing, yeah. But we'll talk about carbon a bit later on because I've been on another rally this week. Oh, I have, yeah. I have. I'm getting really into him now.

What's your motivation, Andy? Are you following, are you trying, you know, you're trying to find out whether you want to vote for him or you want to vote for him. Yeah, perhaps I'm doing a secret journalistic project on it all, you know, who knows? All will be revealed. A bit like John Ronson, that kind of thing. A bit like John Ronson, yeah, but a bit more, you know.

What a bit of a fatter voice. We all want that kind of thing. Yeah, all right, then John Ronson with a fatifil. Hey, John Ronson with with tits and I would say Oh, pretty hot tits today. Again. Yeah. Yeah, right for cooking.

Have you put some lint on them to try and absorb some of the sweat or anything? I've just kept just keep paddling them down with some kitchen towel. Nice. That cheap kitchen towel you get up the ass, do you? Yeah, total wisdom, one of morning. Absolute shite. Well, I don't intend to sing a song at the end,

so I'm going to sing them right at the beginning. Oh, I've listened to this. See how this appeals to you, Andy. Look at you. Oh, he's from Uragwai. Made the macoms all cry. That's too funny. Do you like that?

Is that it? It's nice, though, isn't it? It's just very short. Short, and to the point, a bit like your little guff at the beginning. Is it a guff or your little outtake? A mouth guff. Yeah. So, anyway. Or all guff. I wasn't really listening to the lyrics of your song, because I was so mesmerized by the tune. Oh, I'll do it again then.

Oh, he's from Uragwai, made the macoms, I'll cry that stew, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah right? Hard to get right, but when you do, oh, watch your little recipe to get them right. Four minutes, but then I add on the time of TXMe to set the timer on me mobile phone for four minutes. And I also add on at the end the time of TXMe to amble towards the pan. Turn it off. All right, so it's four minutes from boil. I do put them in the boil and water.

Boil the pan, then bang them in. Then you bang them in four minutes. Does it, oh put them in the boil and water boil a pan then bang them in then you bang them in four minutes Does it bang a man because they crack one day does the trick for you though? Yeah, do you have any methods? Well, I mean I haven't extraordinary that you failed to mention the size of the egg Do you not remain do you not take that into account for a minute for any egg? What I buy is I buy their ones from Searnsbury's. Right. So I'm not just an astable. They wouldn't let you in Searnsbury's, don't they? I buy their ones from Searnsbury's that are mixed weights. They're cheaper. They're not all large, they're not all medium. You're gonna know what you're getting. You might get an ostrich egg in there or you might get a

little cat egg. Tell me is this real because I'm enticed? Is this real mixed size eggs from Searnsbury's? Yes. Well I'm going to check it out and if you if you if you're run I'll tweak the picture of the box later on because I bought some earlier on. Thank you very much indeed. I've got a song have you got a proper song? Was that your song? Yeah I've got a I'm sorry I've got a proper song yeah I'll do it for you. You've got to do your proper song. Oh he's from Urukwa. Ah man! My coms all cry that's to one. Yeah you see it's a proper song. I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad up. Can I do my song then because I want this to be an energetic Podcast this week for a change. That's why I started with the blaster. Got none. Yeah, I've got quite an energetic See me up seem fucking early for a song. Well, go on and song gone and it's about baristas

From the coffee shops. Okay, all right baristas From the coffee shops. Okay. All right. Berristers said in the scene. Berristers dishing out cream. Berristers! Pump another leavers and the gears. The Berrister machines.

Berristers dripping with sweat. Berristers getting me wet. Every fucker wants to be a sister. Or a Mr. Berrister. Berristers got it all going on. Berristers got me singing the song. Going with a lot of songs and buying myself my own BIRRISTAR! Yeah!

Alright, so you intend to buy some one, do you? You're trying to buy some? It's the dream, isn't it? The song should be about dreams. Do you know what I mean? Our dreams that have been realised, like this song. Oh, he's from Uruquay, Made him macons, I'll cry, that's too early.

I just wanted to know, you know I consider you to be far more intelligent, me so occasionally I get clear things up for me, alright, so it's important to me. Do you have any idea what living in the moment means because I haven't got a clue? We just did it there, what do you mean? We lived in the moment there clue. We just did it there. What did you mean? We've lived in the moment there and you've just done it there.

Not that's not. And we're doing it now. That's just living. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it means. Who's been saying that to you? Are you here all the time, people on the telly or people just saying, you know, well, it's important that I just live in the moment.

You've got to try living in the moment, you know. That's what I don't really know what that means I think it means that they haven't really got much going on in the trying to make it sound like they have All right, well that's a dead end again. Carry on. What do you want to do? Yes or no? Go on then. I will I'm on the internet. All three of you choose from. Thank you. Yes or no?

Humus Okay, I have to say sorry. Yes or no? Humus Okay, I have to say sorry you have say yes or no Humus No The text mech's dip selection No men's arses No Two out the three yeah and the good thing about getting two out the three is you can work out in your mind

Which one you got right and which ones you got wrong. Okay, I can't be bothered to do that. Are you ready to receive the wife's questions? Because she's... Ring them on. She was up on that getting them ready. All right. Ring them on.

Have you ever been to a B-feet restaurant in a sultan tie? I have been to a B-fe restaurant, but I dressed smart casual. Okay. Can I as a supplementary question? I'm sure the wife wouldn't mind. What is it about the carvery that we all adore and is it the queue in, the proximity to beer, they're getting out the house, they're noisy about the other people? What is it we like? For me it's many things. It's that kind of community spirit that you sort of touched upon there, getting them, getting them on your people.

It's the, you know, the proximity to the beer, that helps. It's the quick and easy access to hot meat for me. Yeah. Because, you know, you don't go in there, look at the menu, hang about for 30 minutes while they come and take your order and I like you just get up there, get your hot plate, get your meat on it, and you know, you don't go in there, look at the menu, hang about for 30 minutes while they come and take your order and all that. You just get up there, get your hot plate, get your meat on it, and you agree, you know, you know, you know, the stuff.

It's not. It's nice seeing what other people choose as well in it. That's good fun. Is it? I think so. What? What? From the vegetable selection. It's just nice seeing makes. Like there's a there's a lady in front of you, you know, maybe got quite pale skin and potentially, it's a wig. You just don't know. And you think to yourself, she's going to get you, she's Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith They're great to look at, but you chose the presence of free meat, then that's fine, I agree, that's fine. But I think there's many reasons, have you ever done a solo or a carvery, Bob?

Well, I've gone into a carvery myself. On your own, I've never done that. I have. Oh, I bet you have. It's quite a buzz. So, what goes on? Solo, I suppose you don't give a shit, you just back, get what you want. Well, there's no conversation, but like I say, you don't need to have time to have conversation, you get in there, get up, get your stuff, sit down, eat it, piss off

again. Yeah, nice one. It's not messing about, it's not for the feint heart. So the other thing about it is as well, the stuff kind of thing is this fella a restaurant crick. Yeah, because you look busy here from Carvery News. Because you look like a restaurant crick-knit because you look... Is he here from Carvery News? Because you look like a restaurant critic. You know, up from London, like, you do look like one. I bet that you have the shit themselves. I don't think they're shitting themselves because they think you're a restaurant critic. I think they're shitting themselves

because I think you're going to wait the old fucking buffet. To be honest with you. Well, it's therefore coming up with all you can eat off of, isn't it? Therefore, all with someone else's fault with you Andy. Right, second question from the wife. come up with all you can eat off or isn't it? Therefore, all with someone else's fault with you Andy, right? Second question from the wife. When was the last time you had friends around your fungalore? And what did you do?

The last time I had friends around was probably about three weeks ago. Yeah. And we sat in the garden of the fungalore. Yeah. On the garden furniture that I've got that I got from B&M bargains yeah and we just had a few drinks and some nice chat

you had a little chat you would know the fella is up on that little chat yeah but you made a couple of the fellas huge gang yeah posse did you have a right laugh together yeah it was a really good laugh a few beers a few beers no one got out of it

no one started chucking bottles around her out like that you know we're middle-aged men now, we're quite sophisticated. No, I don't want to start doing forward rules in the middle of the garden or anything silly. Okay, did you have a barbecue? No, we had a pizza. Patrons just your cheek lager from yesterday.

Patrons, yeah, a pizza and some sum of girl. Okay, and a final question, deep down do you wish you were actually called Calum Um Calum Dawson It's not bad is it not not really know. Okay. Well, that's the end of the questions I'm over to you. Hey came across a fellow called Neville last night a young man called Neville. I came across this fellow called Neville Whoops. I said to mean to do that. Is that what you're getting at?

No, no. All right. That's just the end of it. I'm just pointing out that it's not a very popular name these days. No, it isn't. So a quasi-mode that goes into a bar and asks for a glass of whiskey. Bells are right, it says the barman. Man, you're a fucking business, this quasi-mode, though.

The barman's so shocked, is brass and falls into the sink. Ain't good. Bit of a observation, coming in good. That's all right. I offered the old lady next door, 10 pounds for a go on a stanna stairlift. Hopefully she's gonna take me up on it. She's got it.

Hopefully she's gonna take me up on it. The offer. Oh yeah. Hopefully she's gonna take me up on it. Right. You know, right to the top and I can rattle me brass and on the banister. Right. Right. What you've done there. So I've done so much wrong, I'm not. It's well, what you've done is you've returned to the, um, the power-quality joke format that you had earlier in this series of podcasts.

Right. Nobody really liked. Right. You've done that in the observational comedy voice. Yes. And then you've just chew on some kind of lazy brass hand reference onto the end. To fuck up in it. Nightmare. Well look, this was the other one. I think this might be worse. What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hello, mate. I'm a lawyer. I see you use Pearson's brass hand wax just like me. We should be friends until death. Any good? Any good? It's more of a short play of that than a joke. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Combined with a disponsorship thing for Pearson's brass and oil.

It's the best brass and oil oil. I'm absolutely fine, I'm advocating it. I've got some observational company, so you're reckonin' of this. Alright. Hey, hey, listen, listen. You never believe what I saw yesterday. Well, you never gonna find out, so piss off. No, that's shit. Is it? Yeah, honest Andy, that's terrible.

Alright, okay, there we are. Hey, listen. I tell ya what, you don't do it right, okay, there we are. Hey, listen, I tell you what, you don't aim much of these days. The Fulclands were from the 1980s. We can't be doing very well enough. They never talk about it on the news anymore. I mean, am I right?

Yeah, I quite like that. I love the bit of the end there. Am I right? Ah, that's a good one. That's a good one, isn't it? It's one more. Listen, listen man, listen. I got one of them memory sticks the other day.

Spent five hours saying, oh, me memory's into it. And now I can't get them out again. I take it back, it's sharp, but I can't remember where I go from. Hey. That's the memory you've seen. It seems to be immemorial. The memory stick. Yeah.

I don't have the best of the three. It's the best of the three, but I don't think it's observation comedy. What I'm going to do next week is I'm going to... You've told me the rules, I'm going to really concentrate, you know, collective memories, reminding people of them, because that's funny. And also that other little area you told me about where you just literally sort of say, you know, do you remember or have you ever, as long as you can say, have you ever noticed,

or do you remember, you know, you might be on to something. Mark Lawrenceson and a Mark Lawrenceson. Mark Lawrenceson. I have had such a lucky break this week. I've found someone, I've got a contact so it can give me all the gossip on Mark Lawrenceson. Oh, so there you go. It's up at there. What do you know? I don't know if you know. I actually knew, did you know that he's got

a real passion for pest control, Mark? You don't like it, no, that's true. No, I don't like the football machine, he loves it. One of his brothers in pest control and he always thinks I wish I had done it anyway. So, Michael Owing in four in him up, and asked if he would come over and do a pest check

on his new restaurant in Manchester, for it was all, and if I press night. So beautiful, Michael Owing, you know, the football, they got all George and building, used to be part of the Zoe in Manchester, I think. Massive players, real posh restaurant. Anyway, he wanted it checked, because if there there was problems he didn't want to get in a papers, you know, and he knew he could trust Mark like. Not a press night? Exactly.

So Mark turns up with his kit, he's got traps, sprays, sticky sheets, you know. Yeah, do you have sticky sheets? Some type of... And did you have to... At this time of year, yeah. Goggles gloves that go right up to your neck, all the good pest control, a kit, right? He went into the kitchen, some man area I look for, and he turns on the lights, it's dark in there. As he just as he went in, he thought,

he saw massive blocks, big blocks scuttle off through the fire exit, but he thought it's probably armless person, on the robber, something like that. Anyway, he does what you have to do. He checks the cookers, all the nuts and crannies, looking for droppings, eggs, all that sort of stuff. Do you know what I mean? I'll tell Tilside.

He's probably looking for roaches and ants, mice, droppings, all that stuff. The only things he found a little bit of thick brown hair, quite a lot of dirty footprints, which he's not his own environment, an elf thing, but he thought he'd tell Michael what size were the footprints? Booth footprints. That's what I was, yeah. I'm a human boat and one thing just near the door, a great big pile of quite dark Todd, yeah. A bit of blood was... Stopping it, a bit of plusby testicles. A bit of blood was smeared on the floor. Probably that's the homeless vlog, eh, reckon. But the thing is, is food-wise, past-wise. So, food-wise,

I tell you the only thing, so there was an open jar, a honey on one of the surfaces should have been. Hang on, hang on. Well, just stop you there. So, a Lawrence is just turned in a blind eye, the presence of homeless Todd. Yeah, I'm so on. Well, he's just dealing in pests. Pest wise, he was able to give it 100% clean bill of health. Yeah. But he told, he even mentioned the Todd. No, he told, he told Michael about the honey being left out and the footprints of blood and all that. So, there having a little chat, he's giving it the old clear. There's what says to Michael what you call in this restaurant,

see the sign writers are here, and he says, moles, you know, like MOS, moles, because it emin' always same as his name, like Michael and his place. Good that. And Mark says, hey, Michael, don't do it, right? Because for one, it's like the bar in the Simpsons,

and that's fun, but it's a really serious restaurant, this, do you know what I mean? Yeah. It'd be the wrong vibe. And second, second I'm a bit worried it's like a short form of mother fucking or mole do you know what I mean I like more for yeah my he says I don't like that um Michael did Mark Lawrence and say mother fucker oh well he's yeah I'm Michael oh where's Mae'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r gwaith i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r Anyway, it's 100 quid for the pest thing, don't forget to clean that stuff up in the kitchen. Press night, later on, all the paparazzi are there, and you've got reaffirmed nands there, Garibalo, dynamo, the magician, Lizzy Kunde, Ken Moly, Reserodica are all there. Ken Lurch?

You want there, couldn't make it. Michael stands in front of the big, western window, ready to unveil the curtain, you know. Mae'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r i'r ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdynyn And just as he's speaking Andy, I guess it was just as he's speaking the window smashes to pieces and out runs a fucking great big brown bear Right it rolls it sniffs the air and then runs straight at Garibalo and punches him in his tits Before disappearing into the backstates of disbury did spree saw Think about it. It mentioned that the restaurant was restaurant was situated on a former part of Manchester Zoo. That's right. And what we've got there's a remnant. If you think about it, the big pala black tard, the honey.

If you remember the whole thing. I'm a telltaleer, signs were there, weren't they? So Marks messed up big time. What he's done, he's looked at the detail, the droppings and stuff, and not the bigger picture. It should have been obvious, shouldn't it? The brown hair, I wonder. They're massive oversight.

You can't miss it, old. You think he's a pest expert in the animal, you know, kingdom. And he's just dropped a massive bollocks. He's Mr. Fucking Bear. So a terrible night for Michael and for all the Manchester restaurant clank lately. And for Mark's reputation.

Yeah, so that was interesting. So I hope my contacts will keep providing me with stuff about him. Yeah, that'll be really good So I hope my contacts will keep providing me with stuff about him Yeah, that'll be really good which ice lolly is giving you most pleasure this summer and the knobly bubbly fab calippo Magnum I've actually I bet it's the big giant blue ice pop I love a call that ice pop but no It would be the rocket lolly The rocket lolly the rocket lolly just from us. Oh, is it be the Rocket Lolli. The Rocket Lolli.

The Rocket Lolli just from Astor. Oh, is it just? That's the Orn brand. It's just like a Lolli three-flag. Like a Rocket, different colours, red, yellow, and I think red again at the bottom. I think I might go for that because. Lord's a sugar.

Used to be called the Zoom. Do you remember the Zoom? Do the slow make it? Do you remember? Like the Zoom, yeah. Lord's a sugar, you could just drift off into a quorum or after you've had a couple of them. Oh, beautiful.

Well, you know, you want it with this time of year, don't you? Yeah, with your mates on your cheap chairs. Nice summer calmer. Yeah, but yeah, I'm the book. I'm really high on rocket lollies. I've got a little update on Stephen McLaren. Do you want me to do that now or? I think we should do that now and get that out of the way

because I'm sure a lot of people want to know how Casper is. Okay, so I'll be as quick as I can. I please do. Okay, so Steve's been by Casper all day and all night. This last vigil. Yeah, sleep. He slept in the waiting room, which incidentally it's nice, something he had some nice moments as well because he slept quite well in the waiting room, so he thought to himself

that is yet another victory for the comfort fit short, sleep shirt. a'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r ffordd sy'n cymfrwynt a ffadlaeth sy'n caspr y bersiglwyr. Ym gwybod yn y ffordd sy'n cwfrwyr. Ym gwybod yn y ffordd sy'n cwfrwyr.

Ym gwybod yn y ffordd sy'n cwfrwyr. Ym gwybod yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn y bydwch yn bydwch yn y bydwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch. A'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a'r ymwch, a' that gets back in, as to on his clown car, because she's took the car. Back to the vets, it's not good yet. It is really not good. The internal abscess is still weeping and the infections spread to the cut where he was kicked. He hasn't been able to pass it on at all. Christ. The vet explains to him, look, we can have Casper put down. Or you could take him to the Royal Veterinary College Hospital. They've got an intensive care unit in North London. They might be able to serve him. Wait, what do you think he does? Do you think he hesitates? Just an hesitate for a second, not for one fucking honestly, he's like bang. Casper

round his neck, straight in the clientele. Exactly, round his neck, funnily enough, the nurse did drop Casper up in like a special padded cotton tube and Steve started to write Casper on the side of it, then he thinks, oh fuck off Steve, like you don't know it's Casper. It's not a mean, this greases man's not working properly. Straying a clown car, sets off honking his arm. Ha ha ha, help me wear your ugly plumkers. Gets on the M1, thinks I'm best off on the hard shoulder, right? People passing in. What's on the top of your head, bird? It's me, hey, I learned.

It's not long, of course, before he's pulled over by the coppers. The coppers say, there's one every sleep, obviously, what you're doing, man. So I'm taking Casper at the hospital. Hold on. What's on your fucking head? Says one of and you say, you're snake sick. And he says, yeah, fat lass booted him at this point in the copper. Not as his bruises on Steve's arm. And the copper says, how's this heavy lass being slapping you about a bit as well, sir? Steve like hesitates. And he says, yeah, yeah, a little bit, yeah. And then he breaks down Steve starts crying. She's left me.

He flops down against the steering wheel and across the boot flies off. Because it's clowns, shiggas it. Flies up in the end, lands on the main carriage, where in a couple of cars, crush into each other. She's the copper reaches in to pull him up right and activates a lever and smoke starts billowing out of the

back of the car. I got smoked drifting all across the mortarware and he can hear cars just smashing into each other every second or so. It's like I honestly started living like some of it. Oh laugh it. It's not funny. It's not funny. It's not like I walk in the dead, I wake in the dead or whatever it is.

It's the same thing, isn't it? Anyway Andy, I'm going to have to leave it there. Continue the turn next dead, I work in the dead or whatever it is. It's the same thing, isn't it? Anyway Andy, I'm gonna have to leave it there. Continue the turn next week because I've seen the time. I want to go to the middle, I want to go to the middle before the match. So I'll have to leave Steve there on the hard shore. Well I've been, I'm gonna run with Jeremy Corbyn again so I'll do that. But before I do that can I just denounce the BB here, see? Yeah, I don't know what they are, what do they do?

It's the British balloon and airship club? Yeah, Wankers. Well, I find that official bi-monthly journal Air or Stat to be flimsy and lacking in substance. I don't see that many hot air balloons anymore. I used to see a lot more when I was younger. I think they're just wanking about to be quite honest. Okay, well, consider it done. Consider them denounced, BBSC.

BBSC, you're on me shit list. BBSC, you're on me shit list. Carry on, so tell me about Corbin. I've been to another one of his rallies this week. Quite a local one down in Yarm, which is where Steve McHaran lives, I believe. Yeah, of course. I'll have a little borough for a ball, isn't that?'s not really relevant so I what you know turn of God down early down the front in army red gear

I hope the torn red yeah that shirt tie lipstick all of a sudden. No you didn't I did you know you didn't have lipstick on anything Anyway down the front the Corbin comes on he does Does a tight 10 minutes about the evils a CCTV on triens and how footage can be manipulated. Right. You know, quite into it. Yeah. Powerpoint thing, but you know, a bit distracted, but never mind.

Then the lights all went off and we all sang when he's too tight to mention. That's simply a red song. Yeah. I would sound it to me like, my coconut was singing it. But the lights were off off so I couldn't say I'm assuming it was Corbin just doing a hook and I'm impression. Anyway then time for a break so Annette Brown the back get a fag and he comes out fire exit near his Corbin, stands next to me lights up, he's got a roll up this week, he's got

a roll up pipe, not a pipe this week. I'm not a pipe this week. So he says, uh, senior, you say, I'm saying you down the front, senior, fancy yourself, don't you? I do. So you know, I says, well, a little bit, yeah. And he points at me, me red rosette that I've got on. He says, official rosette is it? I said, well, I'm not sure I've had it for ages, you know, I've not worn it an official party event for years though. he says, I'm not sure, I've thought as much, thought a little bit weathered. sorry, should I get a new one? you know, is there any official ones that you can set me up with? as well. I have a merchandising operation, I could get you a one reduced price if you'd be interested. That's just wow, yeah great, thanks. You know, if there's anything I can do in return, you know, to help with your election. Yeah. Let us know because I'm

becoming a serious convert to the to the Corbinister cause. And he says, well, there might be one thing you could help me with. Where it comes. Oh, I so he pulls the, pulls his tab out of his mouth and he's bottom lip slowly parts from the top one. He reaches across and he just brushes me raw set with the back of his hand. Oh, he up. Is this in a, and he says, he says it gets lonely on the campaign trail, you know.

I'm always on the road and I start to miss Mrs Corbin when it's almost bedtime. I can imagine that. Yeah. Yeah. So he says, do you think you could possibly proper a small kiss? No, he's a kisser to alleviate my emotional turbulence. And I thought, well, you know, given what you and the older may get up to, you know, it's legitimized. You know, I'm bad looking for those both. And I've started become quite a fan over the past few weeks. I thought, you know,

a little kiss, not going to hurt. I moved me mouth, slowly towards his, and I just felt me chingris against his beard as we got closer. Yeah. Just as we were about a kiss, there's a bang and I jump back. Yeah. Someone's booted the fire exit. Yeah. And this voice goes, no.

Andrew, no. Not during a democratic electoral process, Andrew. Jeremy, back inside and address your followers at once. Fuck. No, you're saying it is? It's the old man. Fuck off. It's your old man.

What, you mean your man? I mean, your arm. Well, it's your patch. He wouldn't give a shit if you were having a case. Well, obviously, what, I don't understand. Well, I don't know. It happened. What, you've been sniffing around the old man?

No, I'm sniffing around Corbin. I've got nothing. Think, with the old man. So what happened then then? Did you, well, did you, any, well, Cor've got nothing... ...with the old man. So what happened then then, did you? Well... Did you... Well, carbon goes back in. Don't get upset! How did you... Just let us explain.

Yeah. Jesus. Right, so the old man's still there, carbon's gone back in, and I'm panicking, I'm saying, sorry, don't have any nearer involvement at the constituency level, I'm not up a speed with the etiquette, you know, there wasn't supposed to happen. And the old man says, I can teach you all about the etiquette, Andrew, especially as I'm

not standing for office myself. I thought, that's the opportunity to learn something's a good thing. That'll be wonderful. And he says, now it looks to me as though you're in possession of a pair of lips that just thought they were about to be kissed. Come over to me Andrew. Come now. You better not have. And he, he, he cupped his hands around me face. No, never. And just gently brushed his lips against mine.

Oh, is there, Fanny? And, and just held them there for a couple of seconds and then pulled away and honest Jesus, Bob. You kissed him. You kissed him. Me entire body turned the jelly. I'm not happy with this Andy. I felt there's nothing to do with you, the old man. No, I'm off. Sorry. No, it's upsetting that. No, but, pop, pop! you