Athletico Mince - Ep. 27 – Extreme Bangers

Episode Date: September 23, 2016

A trip to Penrith with Lawro and Robson, drama at Steve’s house and we meet the Secret Soccer Superstar. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, there it is quite standard, a woosh with like resignation written all over it, bit of a verbal flourish at the end of the year. That's clever, if it in broke, don at the end of it. It is what that's clever obvious. If it in broke, don't fix it. I suppose there is basically, you know, it works for me. It's a piece of verbal yoga. I'll speak it in the right place, mentally, and well, you've said all this before, I didn't want you to have a break.

So I'm going through the motions a bit with it now. With your explanation, you know, like, oh, did you learn it from... The explanation is also part of the whole routine now of the developed it. Yeah, but if I was treating you, teaching you about, say, lead mine in in Thailand, right? Yep.

So week one, I said, right, well, the lead mine, the lead men seems of lead are about 50 foot below, right, the surface. I'll tell you more next week. Next week I say the lead man's about 50 feet between the surface. I'm not coming to a college to do this. Is this a distance learning thing on the internet? I've got to go to the tech college to sit through this three-second lecture. Oh, it's so frustrating. I'm saying what you're saying. You said the same thing, 16 times. It's a kite. And you still question it. All right, forget it. Can you just accept it? Are you in a bad mood or something?

I'm fine. Wow, I was. Do you want some apple juice or some a Latte for New Yorker from Fridge? No, I'm horrid, thanks. Yeah. Okay, right. Well, what's a coley this week? Mr. Conquer? Mr. Conquer? Well, this is a conqueron. Like a conqueron. The horse chestnut? Fuck yeah, now. Oh, of course,queror like a Conqueror. The horse Chestnuts. Oh, of course you can be runny out dog if you want to be runny out dog. Well I'll be runny out dog I think. Alright. I don't really like the Conqueror thing. Okay. Hello runny the hot dog. Hello honky-tonk. Thank you very much. Here we go. Hey, that fellow Megad's has been arrested in connection with the possible murder. I heard this. Would you let the

confess to a crime that you're may not have committed in the past Be careful sort of exciting. Be careful. Yeah, I guess you know what you might see a something ingest and before you know it you're in the slumber Have you seen the film top carpey what top carpey? It's not about best in class Fish no, it's like where you steal jewels and in the last car fish. No, it's like where you steal jewels and ancient artifacts by gaining entrance to the museum high up on a wire. So mission impossible. Well, there's a stroller off top carpe. I have committed one of those crimes. I committed it in Monaco. I got away with it, Scott free and I bought a Mercedes Benz car with the Pro Seeds plus enough bird's eye boiling the bag beef to last

me until I'm 60. And that's true. That's true. And because monocle exists outside of the interpole catchment area. Yes that's right. You can see whatever you want about that. Yeah so nice one. There's a crime. Right good Bob. What's your pin number? Not telling you. Yeah. That was worth a try. I Don't guess it. I'll tell you if you get anyone right. I'll give you that 21 6 it you got two of them right Oh, you get this you gave me one number too many. It's a four number pen. You give it to 26 yet

You got two of them right. Two or four, that's pretty good, isn't it? Pretty good. Slip top. Slip tight. Yeah, well work on it Andy, you never know. Do you want me to establish me credentials? Are you happy now?

You happy now that I know? You will establish your credentials I think? Right, I will stick the football. Thank you. You've had a bit of a gripe recently about me, Deviate and from football and trainer, bring other topics into the equation. So, I'll stick the football. Bob, yes, memory man, what have you won a college? Do you remember the name of the scorer of the penalty that decided the 1983 Scottish League Cup Final between East 5 and Cowdenbath.

1983 Scottish League Cup Final, East 5 and Cowdenbath, 1-0, 1 goal, a penalty, who was the score? Or do you remember the score? What do you remember, score? No, shit, I've lost it. I don't remember. Just, yes. I used to be the memory man I thought I knew it all But now I'm just the memory man man, a tit, a fraud, a fool.

You know what, even what, I love to fess up. It was a trick question. Oh, you bastard. Ace five got knocked out in the second round. Oh, so the one it, well, it never opened. Because you knew he gave me heart attack, what was I saying? And you know I've had me out by pass, what you never ask about, do you want to take this? You don't need to ask about it, I'm getting on.

See, it's just a call, is that a year ago or something? Yeah, alright, I should forget about it now, I shouldn't have. But I don't think so, you're saying fine. Yeah, I mean, me stern and me chest bones nearly bonded, so why, what's the difficulty? Nearly, you know, nearly is good. Nearly is better than hasn't. Right, we've got a new contributor to the podcast star on this week and he is the secret soccer superstar.

All right, he's a former professional player who we've recruited but he's what he's going to do over the coming weeks has lifted lid on the behind the scene stuff in the game that we don't normally hear about. I think he's got a website as well, I mean a book coming out. But here he is with the first exclusive tour. Exclusive tour, the Secret Soccer Soup Store. Here he is with a little snippet from his time as a professional footballer. There was one particular season I'll never forget, it was an absolute disaster. ill a season I'll never forget it was an absolute disaster. I was playing for a club who should remain nervous, who were top of the championship. We were 9 points clear with about 9 games left to clear. On our way back from the 3-1 win at Burnley, we were

cruising the watch promotion. And one of the lights put a DVD on on the bus on the way back. It was all creatures grit and small. And it wasn't long before an argument broke out among the lights about who was the best character. Some of them said it was Jim's Harriet, some of the other lads thought it was Seagrey Farnham. And there was one lads, certainly failure, who said the Tristan Farnham was the best, but no one took any notice of him who's been a weird lad. And eventually a fist fight brought out in the eye of the bus, it's had to be brought up, it got carried on Monday morning in training and before long two factions that emerged within the squad,

the Harriet faction and the Seagre for Anon faction, and you know the team's form after that just went to shit. I think we picked up another five points in the last year to remain games and then finished sixth. It's a nightmare. Woah! There you go. Like that feature Andy. You think the colors are here. I'm not allowed to. I've seen a lot of the sign and non-disclosure agreement but he has pleaded for a lot of the top clubs but we're not allowed to see here he is. Oh wow. We'll have more from him next week or from him. Nice one, I've enjoyed that very much.

Good. Right, anyway, so do you remember last week and the Lawrence and Matt Lawrence and? Yes. And Robson Jerome went for the fish and said, Robson Jerome. Robson Jerome is that one? Robson grain. Robson grain. Yeah. Well, what I could say to said Jerome is this was he was a he did then pop songs of

Robson right. So he's Rob. Robson grain. Jerome grain. And they had a lovely fishing trip. Yeah, together. He did. So my sauce has been as updated me and he got home and he was really excited about the day. So he says to his wife, when I do his voice, you do the voice for us, right? So and he says to his son, you do lorins. I can't do rops and graven. I can't do that one. He got home really excited. He says to his wife, all right, Barbara. All right, Barbara. That's it. Hello, Mark, she said, I don't like to do it. We're rops and graven off telly, then he handed her one of his Belinda wipes, the these

special wipes that Mark Lawson has the, it's a big role, like a kitchen roll, I've got like air pockets, the really, I'm like, you can't even see by these, and yeah, it's mainly decorators. All right, so they're beautiful, so she wipes his first with them. Then Mark says, yeah, I'm going to ask him if he'll be my friend. Yeah, I'm going to ask him if he'll be my friend. Yeah I'm going to ask him if he'll be my friend. And you know what Barbara says, that's a good idea Mark, why don't you give him a ring now when he says, oh well. Oh well. Can I use the

phone? Sorry I'm provised there. Alright. I know that. So that Ford Robson says, hi Robson, I enjoyed fishing with you, would you like to be a friend? Hi Robson, it's Mack! I really enjoy fishing with you, can I be a friend? No, Robson, he hasn't got many friends on account of him being a little bit too chirpy, so he's cocking a hoop, absolutely. I'd love it if I became your friend, I'd absolutely love it! Maybe you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, you could do it, not absolutely love it. Maybe you could arrange for me, they'd have me laugh at Beningles. Hey, you could arrange, you have for me, couldn't you? Mark says, well, I don't know about that. Well, I don't know about that. Hey, I know, I'm doing me extreme sausage stall at Penrith Marghert tomorrow. Would you like the help of us oats? And he says, yes, I would. That sounds very wholesome. Yes, I would. That sounds very wholesome. And then he says, the words that sounds very wholesome.

And then he says, would you mind if I tried to vlog some of my hair spray range? I've got about 100 canisters left to vlog. Would you mind about trying to vlog some of my hair spray range? I've got about 100 canisters left to vlog. Well, I'm not a problem like, yeah, you never know a roughest beneath us might be there. I know a foreigner's like, markets like.

Mark says, well, I don't know about that. Oh, I don't know about that so anyway next day they might arrived at the stall in his high undae All right, you know you haven't brought raffle with you have your only jogging and he says look coming up talk about raffle Please robs, and I don't like football Look coming up talk about raffle please robs, and I don't like football So anyway robs and fives up girl, starts cooking his extreme bangers. He calls them extreme bangers, Andy, because he does a show called Extreme Fishing. Oh, right. So it's like, yeah, play on the edge of that. He catches like big river cows and river eels and stuff like that.

Well, he's a big extreme bangers. So Mark puts his arranges his hairspray on the display, all going really good businesses brisk. Then in a bit of a low mark announce, look, so he says he's going to wipe down the grill with his Belinda tissues, yeah. So he turns off the gas and starts to clean it. Well, suddenly there's a bit of a commotion in the market and word spreads, listen up, Raffa Benetis is there. Yeah, well Robson's cock is now a total hoop. Yeah, absolutely. 3060 degree ho, oh, absolutely. So is that quick fire? The grill Raffa's here. He might

want me extreme pork. It's come on, Mark, hurry up. So a mark is a bit flummoxed. So he gets a gas back on the fire, is it upward, unfortunately he left the Lord of his Belinda tissues on the grill, and they're set fire, they're set fire the whole role, so he like flicks at it with his fish slice thing, you know, and it rolls off, it lands in the middle of the hair spray, fucking else he has Mark. Fuckin' hell! Anyway, he'll come Draffer, he's coming over, I can't, I know this is,

I'm getting it wrong, he's a robster. Here comes Raffa, he's coming over the star, can he believe it? Then bang! A hairspray canister explodes. Fuck me says mark. Fuck me! Raffa's security, right? Obviously, immediately think it's ISIS, right? So one of them runs over, punches Robson in his tits, and another just drags Rafa away with a big, great speed. Oh shit man, Matt gets the fire extinguisher out of his Hyundai, puts out the flames. Rafa, Rafa come back alive, a sausage, other monster, Paulger! But it's too late, he's gone, so Mark puts his arm around him and says, Never mind, Robson, I'll arrange for you to meet him, because you're my best friend.

Never mind, Robson, I'll arrange for you to meet him, because you're my best friend. And then he says, hey, Robson, now that's what I call an extreme banger. Hey, Robson, now that's what I call an extreme banger. And then I did that very well. It's up to you. No, just keep going. All right, it was fine, but I've made it anywhere. So, because he costs referring to the hairspray as an extreme banger. Right, that's quite quick, isn't it?

Yeah, of Mark, and so they're both left till they're stopped laughing. So that's Mark, what's been up in this week? That's really good. I think that's bonded the friendship, I think you agree. I think we're gonna hear a lot more from those two with the coming weeks. Alright so old year reckons the most silky looking footballer and I've got three suggestions

here. Andros Townsend. Right, yeah. Luke of Modrich. Oh so. Toments. Oh you might have your own silky. Silky, really moody. I can't say beyond Andros Townsend, to be honest. Yeah, okay, I think that's the truth. It's important research that you don't want. I was just saying, I saw Andros and I thought, you know, I'm a genius, you're sulky. Would you agree with us? Yeah, I do agree with you. Nice choice.

When you see a worm, Andy, do you point straight at it? Yeah, not that. Like, there's a worm there. Or do you move your finger about as you point to replicate the shape of the worm you're looking at? So you might be making an S-short as you say, look, there's a worm. No, what I'll generally do is sort of,

we will be fingering a kind of a worm style so that as I get closer to it, it realises that I'm of it's kind, that I'm not an alien. Well, what you up to is you're trying to bug, it realises that I'm of its kind, that I'm not an alien. Well, what you up to is you try to bugger it or something. Well, I just say, look, you know, all I meant Andy was, you know, you're not having a catch it. You're not having a catch it.

It's a bugger it or anything. Just like, oh, look, that is a worm. Do you point or do you point and put a little twizzle on it? Do you have a problem with humans and animals becoming closer together? No, not at all. Right. I load hats. Well, I'm not asked about cats. I'm going to move on to cats later on'm going to go to business venture, I won't need

to invest in, but anyway, I'll do that, I want to do a quick yes and all game. Alright, here we go, yes and all. Penuts, yep, here's all nuts, yep. Robert Mugabe's knackers. I know you can't, but I'd like to give that a big yes. Okay. One out of three. Thank you very much.

I think I guess which one it is. Hey, hey, hey, I tell you why you don't see much of these days. Bruxide! I'm right there, Anna. Yeah. I remember Bruxide. I suppose that's your intention. I remember it. Remember it. Remember it from dimming laugh, but thank you for reminding me of it worked on one level. Didn't they? Hey, don't hey Don't kids say the funniest things though. This is a new one. I'm doing little kids say the funniest things

Don't kids say the funniest things though. Hey, don't they know? Hey My kids came up to me the other day and they said can we go all me at dad Barry's coming round you know mum's you fellow Barry he's coming round he's got a pre-release copy of FIFA 17 hardware for me love so much that I cried cried for hours that's like that's like that's funny. Like at the end of the video series. Yeah, I don't get it. Well, I like it, but you know, you mentioned FIFA, so it reminded me of FIFA.

It's coming out soon. Yeah. Hey, have you seen them new five pound notes? Oh yeah, oh, plastic and weird apparently. I haven't seen one yet. It'll get me gyro on on Tuesday. Ha ha ha. See, I've exaggerated it, and we laugh there cause I love it because that's self-effacing yeah because I presume you don't get a gyro True I like to think of your waddling down the what's it called the employment office the Leaborx GNB exchange getting the your gyro is that you set then listen?

No listen Oh, no, that's all I've got sorry Is that your set then? Listen! No! Listen! Fuck it! Listen! Oh no, that's all I've got, sorry! Oh! Biggest last wall! We have. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I walked into a bar last night, right? Barman says, why the long face? I said, well, I'm upset, aren't I? The run out of Pearson's brass underites next door. Mine is a stiff as a teenager's sheets. That's good, really. That's strong, yeah. I'm not going to say why, but it is. Have you ever noticed?

Have you ever noticed? No. I bet you have. Have you ever noticed? You're killing it. The past office. And just as it's your turn, all the windows close apart from one and it's the bloke with two brass hands and a rap conviction. Not really. No, I saw as I said that bit I wish I

hadn't bothered with it. Have you ever noticed yet swimming pool, there's one pensioner, do you remember pensioners? Meandering up and down the same lane, it's a snail's pace, and every time you get out of his way, your brass arm gets caught on the filter in light. Oh yeah, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never,

never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, But that's just me. It is a funny thing, because you didn't do this.

The next one I didn't finish it, it says, Hey, do you remember teenagers? You don't hear so much about them these days, do you? And it pitted out, so I crossed it out. But you said that then, you remember? Oh no, you said funny things what kids say. No, different things aren't together. Completely different, yeah.

So you got to blind Ali with that, remember teenager, just but my don't kids see the funniest things. Yeah. That gone for weeks. Well, can I just say that I thought you set was absolutely terrific. Who do you reckon Andy as an institution? Who do you reckon has more horse pipe?

You know more horse, I should say. Yeah. The fire brigade or diner rod. That's a good one. No, I know the both got that. Because the fire brigade's under a lot of cuts at the minute. Yeah. And diner rods, hey, it stays in it.

Diner rods. I'm gonna go diner rod. Okay, well I'll tell you what, I'll find, I'll try and find out. Why, you don't know. No, I have no idea. Yeah, I just thought it was interesting. That's what I wonder who's got the most point. I've got a new game for us to play a Bob. It's called the numbers game. I want you to give me a

number between 10 and 24. Okay, I said it, do I? Yeah, yeah, please. 15, thank you. 15 right now. Well, it's 2016 now, so we deduct 15 from that, which gives us 2001 right that leads on to the second part of this Bob in 2001 were you a complete arsehole or a massive bell end and I could only have one what of the two yeah complete arsehole or massive bell I was a complete arsehole okay that's the number skip thanks for playing that's a really good game isn't't it? It's a really good game, that one. It's going to catch on that, I think. Do you like things that are a bit different? No. No.

Okay, Steven Clara, and you want to hear about this thing? Oh please do. Well, as you know, we're in hospital. Casper was under intensive care, but he's in the right place. And I'm pleased to be able to announce, right? Drumroll. Yeah. intensive care but he's in the right place and I'm pleased to be able to announce drum roll yeah that he's been discharged from hospital and he's now at home on Steve and the fat lass his abscessed old drained skin repaired they've got this new system as well I've had to introduce to have him watch their

night they have to do it for a couple of weeks because if he spews the stitches in They've got this new system as well, they've had to introduce to them, watch their night. They have to do it for a couple of weeks, because if he spews the stitches in his stomach, my rupture. Mark Lonson, he's a good friend of theirs, he came around and he fitted these little wireless motion cameras in the men rooms where he might have been excited about the reduction of Mark Lonson into this. Yeah, he's good with little bits of equipment. This is like in the Beno, when characters from one comic strip

would have played you in another one. I wouldn't have Lord Snooty turning up in the mini of the minsterey. Well, there he is. Anyway, sorry, I mean he doesn't feature, but his cameras do. They're not tiny, little wireless cameras. They're put them in the kitchen in the hallway

and that just so that they see, and their motion sense of things, so they're lower down and if Casper goes past it'll just you know keep him on film so they can see it. Anyway night he came back. What a night that was only for everyone involved right they had a puro and disarano night you know the the liqueur arm and liqueur? It's delicious to kill you. Yeah. Michael Owen came round, some maladies came round. Casper was allowed to stay up late to watch Bear grills. Bear grills.

Bear grills. Bear grills. Do you've been one doing one of his bastard shows, you know? And the fat, because the bastard shows, aren't they? Yeah. Well, the fat last made a massive pot of beans toasted two whole long lobes and like served, served the beans on toast on parvin slabs, you know like to be trendy like. Oh, so it was a special night.

After the beans were finished, big Sam and big lass went into the kitchen to wash the pots and Stephen and Michael sang combo, you know, he loves singing combo. Oh, how got a brand new come boy, traveling through the night. It's too up in the cabin now because Casper's going to be all right. Come boy. Casper, I tell you how they had the biggest smile on his face you've ever seen, because it was actually ages since 18. Steve, so happy.

Right. Steve gave Casper a little hug and then popped him out of the door so him and Michael could play this game they've got wanted him out the way up for safety so the play this this game where Steve crouches down and Michael has to try and land a little hope directly over Steve's hair island right so? So the goal like 3, 2, 1. On my hair island, on my hair island, sing Steve, yeah? And as he's singing and playing the game, tell you what happened and this is a bit of a shit and you'll see why I'm on the note. Do you remember the note, the fat lass? and you'll see why in a month the note, do you remember the note the fat lass? Oh yeah!

The house, well it fell out of its pocket. A Michael Owen picked it up and started reading it out. So this is what it said, it says this, it's from the fat lass to stave. Dear stave, I used to love you but not anymore. You used to make me laugh singing about your convoy and I was always in awe of your knowledge of carpet retail but the spark has gone. You spent so much time with Casper that you hardly seemed to notice me. I spent 20 minutes in the carzy the other day shouting for you to bring the dirty dishcloth and white me but you were too busy watching Poirot or with Casper. I'm leaving you Steve. I'm going to cop off with Big Sam, unlike you he's gorgeous. Goodbye. PS,

your hair Island is ridiculous. Well that's Wondon. Well and as I'd act that exact moment, Big Sam and the Big Last come into their own. So Michael just sort of grabs Sam, tells him it's time to go, just hustles him out of there. What's wrong Steve, what have they gone? What have you said? Then Steve shows up at the north and she says, oh that was last week, Steve, I feel sort of different now. Don't be a Rodney Plunker. But just then, the television channel changes and there's Casper with his neck resting on the remote right and it's rewinding. Casper what are you doing my love? Steve grabs the control and presses play and you know what it is. It's the recording

from the kitchen camera that Maltese is putting and there on the table is big Sam pumping away at the fat lass and he's got the dirty dishcloth in his mouth so no one will hear him grunting. Oh get out says Steve get out I never want to see you again fuck you fuck you you asshole like I give a fuck she says so rude in it nasty but a nasty moment in a relationship. Suddenly Casper rears up, his throat, and his chest begin to swell up, and he moves his head right toward the fat lass's face, and he leans back, you know what,

you know what's happening, you know what's coming out? Don't do it Casper, she's not worth it. Casper hesitates, but Lenny does it anywhere a cub is a with two yards He's been in hospital as well a deeply fermented spew bang all over the fat mass and she runs out Bloody El Casper. I'll have to take your hospital now Steve though he sure he sees a big smile form and Casper's first and he says yeah you're right it was worth it. Oh yeah.

So what's going up next though and then? Well I wonder what is going to happen. God. No wonder what's going to happen but that's why I said come and didn't she? Well I think there's a deep love there on Steve's behalf, so I hope he's able to, you know, just end it, get on with his life with Casper, but I don't know. I think she might turn into one of those like, what do they call them? The Bother Year and a bunny boiler. No, yeah, that's sort of thing. They've got a name for a moment and they're where they follow

you and they stalker, stalk maybe a stalker hardwood remember that so I thought we're quite a nice story yeah yeah we're gonna be a closure there or are we because maybe there's gonna be a twist yeah maybe there's gonna be a twist in the Leibber leadership election oh have you been said smoothly moving into Jeremy Corbyn's new being stock in him and I know he's very last. What do you call it? Raleigh? I mean, he's lost Raleigh that he did before the before the Vortescaurs this week. And it was in Oxford, right, Leibor Stronghold. And it started off by doing a tribute and they'll connect him. Everyone they'll connect that thing. We're all right! We're all right! We did that exactly like I just did it there in a Kinnick voice but then you started doing the wanga sign as if to say

Kinnick's a wanga. Who did this call then? Corbin, yeah. So anyway, usual stuff, you know, 12 minutes of mumbling and bumbling about. Yeah. I don't know. Where are you, front row? Right, I'm front row. I'm wearing one of them, you know, with those skin type body stockings. Oh, if you're not wearing. You're not wearing right red.

Why did you do that? With the head, with the head covered as well. All right. Everything. I'm just a red, nude body right down the front. Is that a solidarity thing, red for a layer, but red for a layer, but yeah, of course where you weren't wearing it. I was, I was, I was. Anyway, after it finished, I went out the back for a smoke.

Yeah. Cut a mouth hole in the stock and a fierce obviously. And Corbin comes out and he's got one of them VIP things like you've got. Yeah. Put everywhere, red smoke. Oh nice. So I'm engulfed in this cloud of red smoke. In me red body stock and it's pure liaba.

Pure liaba. So anyway, so it's a senior. Here we go. So it's alright. So it's a senior down the front. That was me, yeah. Nice costume you've got there. Thank you very much. Great set of tits on you. Nice one Jeremy. You know, they are, let's figure it out. This is, you reckon you're a bit of a darling, don't you?

Which way do you swing ladies or gents? And I'm pretty much heterosexual, I said, ladies. This is, how many ladies have you done it on then? Hey, the sex you will act how many I'm not completely sure because I'm 44 being around the block a couple of times I said about 10 yeah He says mm, you a bit of a slag then aren't you? It's a bit a bit previous. I said I Well not really you know 10 44 years. It's not that many.

He's asked me how many ladies I've done it on. As is how many? How many ladies have you done it on Jeremy Corbyn? Five. Five. Very sure about that. He knows. He says that's fewer than you, but they were all very very beautiful ladies,

flex and hair and appropriately fragrant in the sex areas. All right, yeah. Clean as well, not like some of yours I shouldn't wonder. That's not right. Good nasty, quite nasty. So there's an uncomfortable silence. Yeah.

And he says, ask me my best one. Presumably means out of the five, but he's done it with it. He says, it's alright. Who was your best one then? And he's, I don't think I can see it on it. I left the whisper at the end. Go away. I'm all right.

Mark, what a thought you're. You kidding me. You heard what I said, didn't you? Yeah. That's what he said. You kidding me. Now, honestly I said, didn't it? Yeah. That's what he said. You kidding me. Now, honestly, and then he just moon walked back into the door, backwards through the door,

didn't even look around. Just left it with that. Just moon walked. Oh, so there you go. Oh, so it's going to get worse of him. You know, really, I like him even more now. You like him more for that, yeah. Do we have anything else we'd like to do?

Well, I don't know Andy, what you think. I think probably not. I think we're about done. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thank you.