Athletico Mince - Ep. 39 - Instanbul

Episode Date: February 10, 2017

More Manchester United gang activity, Christmas tree cage fighting, an agnostic ballad and another run-in with a South African maniac... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Whoa! Hi! Hi, nice sexy side, that one wasn't it? Yeah, didn't have the no fuck the shoulder gun I remember he sexy man. We're not to reach out towards your breasts and the That's quite a shock. I've got they're drilled in at the front of the shoulder. Yeah, so the repair work fine Yeah, but the entry point You know whoa So would you like me to offer you some names and the in like crack on with business? Go on, man. First offering is floor Paterson, right? It's like a sinewy American Sprinter. Yeah. Maybe got a sponsorship deal with a powdered milk

company, I don't know. Okay? Sounds good. This one, I mean, you're going to take this one. Come on up. You reckon I know know you are. Bring it on. Sirius Cockhopper. He's like a wizard. Yeah. Yeah, but he goes cottageing. Yeah. That's time. Let's say the third one.

Shan Fennetcher. Yeah. Chinese French residential burglaries he does. No. Yeah, he got a hole in his heart, does that help? Little bit. Okay, and finally Paul Hardwood Williams. Oh, yeah.

Works and lives in Swansea Branch of Oak Furnitureland, or you can have her on the hot dog. I'm gonna be Paul Hardwood Williams. Nice. Double barrel. Yeah, because you look sophistication. No, it's not, the Hardwood is like nickname, like quote, hardwood.

Oh, right. Paul Hardwood Williams. Oh, because of the wood. Because of the Oak Furnitureland. Yeah, it loves the hardwoods. Oh, well, I'll be the other one then. No, you're gonna be Paul Hardwood, that like you you watch those adverts with that dad Yeah, you know on the sun. Yeah in oak furniture land and you think that's the dad I never had that's the furniture

I've never I Drain off a crib okay, I've got some names for you. All right Obviously you can be honky-tonk if you want to be of course. I know that can be Tony ship farm Yeah, you can be honky-tonk if you want to be. Of course I know that. You can be tourney ship farm. Yeah. You can be the reverse oik. Okay. John Peel Jr. Okay.

Or Dick Legs. Well, you know I'm tempted by Dick Legs. But. But. Honky-tonk. You're sticking honky-tonk. Well, last week I was something like the sweet. The sweet.

Yeah, so I'll be honky-tonk. All right, that's okay with me. Nice to see you. Before we start, yesterday, I saw a wasp and a rat. What did you see yesterday? I did see yesterday. What sticks out my mind. I saw a log, a log of wood. Right. I saw Robin. Robin who? No, a Robins Robin, no we're shit had been. He owes me so much more thanbing cousins. Does he? Pyramid scheme gone wrong.

Pyramid scheme. How did you know that was actually Pyramids? What? Pyramid off him, yeah. You bought an Egyptian Pyramid and you at least had it with Egyptian. Right. So you've paid him, you've been over a ton of time. I've been over a ton of time.

But actually, well I bought off him with a jetty. Right. I had a little lake. Not a fucking lake, I didn't have a lake, I had a pond. Yeah. I thought it would be nice him was a jetty. I had a little lake, not a fucking lake, I didn't have a lake, I had a pond. Yeah, I thought it'd be nice to have a jetty. And Robin Cousins does outdoor carpentry now. Because he's arthritis now, isn't he? Because you can't do the figure skating anymore.

No, I can't do that, I'm sorry. He's in jetty, so he does jetty. Well, the outdoor, outdoor hardwood carpentry, but he never delivered it. And you want believe me, but that's 14 years ago. Yeah, and I've moved from the house now. And he didn't get a refund. You're going to be interested on top of that as well?

Well, I'm not one for, I'm not one for sewing ice skaters. Does he do, does he do decking? Oh, he do, exactly, that's where it started with the Crayons on decking. He goes number. You don't want to deal with him, you don't want to deal with him. Can you help me with a very short song I'm working on? Yes. All I need you to do is go in Stan Bull, right, and then I say a line, then you go in Stan Bull. Okay, so let's just, I'm just working on it, help us out, go. In Stan Bull, online sex, Instant ball, champagne

flutes, Instant ball Michael Jackson, Instant ball, Lamborghini, Instant ball wet look styling, and that's the father got. Do you like it? That's an instant ball, it's a sample isn't it? I'm trying to be like, it's like I meant to be a vocative song. Is that a tourist board, promotional film? That would it would work like that. Yeah. I would work like that if I were,

I was thinking and sending it to Sam and Kyle for one of the talent things. Yeah. But I haven't really got the tune, but did you find it, you felt a little bit like you were in an instant ball at all? I did, I did it was very vococative. If I felt the smells and the heat. Yeah the online sex. Definitely. Yeah definitely. That's what you got the insumbole for at the online sex.

Yes did you. Yeah speaking of promotional tools. Yeah. I picked up a seven inch single for Munro shock absorbers. Really? I think it was from the 70s or the 80s. Well they released the start. They put out a seven inch single and it was sent out. This one had the stamp of the address of a car battery dealership in Sonland that must have been sent out to 10 pens I got it for. Munro shock absorbers. Yeah.

And it's a hell of a tune. I don't know what so a Eurovision representative of this year, but this Fucker is miles better than whatever it is. Would you bring it along? I'll try and drop it in at the end to do. I've got a bit of it on me for now. Is that good?

Is that good? It's that good. Stick around for that, boys and girls. Yeah, no, that's not. I tell you what, you know, like car battery shop. Yeah. Or clutch center. Mm-hmm.

They've all gone now, aren't they? They've been eaten up by the conglomerates. Do you want to see the K-word? The KF word? KFC? No, no. Yeah, all that area. You know, they've talked about the quick... Halfers do like car batteries for you now, don't they? Yeah, no, for a bull with 20 quid. I used to look fondly down the back straight and say like clut tree pairs, clutch centers and stuff Man, you couldn't cope with these new these cars don't have simple wire clutches anyway. We don't want to get into No, we do worth this a different podcast not together. So we shoulder is still bad

I wasn't gonna ask but you've done what's not I know you're not gonna like that's why I'm telling you just pretend to do that at the beginning I know man. I've got to get it wrong. It really hurts if you get your shoulder wrong if I get it right if I go for reach up like I've got at the beginning. I know man, I've got to say it wrong, it really hurts. If you get your shoulder wrong. If I get it right, if I go for reach up, like I've got a dismorning, I have, you know the cereal with the colorful bits, is it lucky stars? Lucky charms. Lucky charms.

And reaching up for that is such a slow process. So I get a little chair and a climb up on it, get me lucky charms. Do you dress like the little leprechaun on the box? Well, I would do that if I felt so inclined for a second. Just how I imagine, do you mean, in my mind's eye, I imagine you're climbing on a chair, dressed as a leprechaun, I'll give you a chair, I'll give you a chair for your permission to imagine me like that.

But you'll drag me up here and I have this strange journey, yeah. And I'll tell you about it very quickly. So I'll set off with me big sports bag to come here, as you can see, I've got it here because I'm playing Bumble, yeah. Yeah. So I get, we come, I live in what's called Nostate, and they, I know Nostate, yeah.

And there's gates at the end of it. There's no gates, but there's the two gate posts where they're used to be gates. Oh, right. There's memories, you know, I can admit, the girls gates can be anything. Gate memories. What I want them to be could be like the Apache ones. Or they could be the L.A.A. fort, solid.

But anyway, there's a little old lady putting a reward, lost a little cat, a little blue, blue, grayish cat, a little fat cat refers a bit like yours actually. Thanks. But unlike you've got cute, distinctive blue color as well. Lost pepper, you call pepper, reward. I'm really lonely without him. Right. So I feel a bit sad,

but you get on with your life, don't you? And I walk down out to Pors to let her, another picture she'd put up next to the Pors box, lost pepper. Yeah. You seem so much in that. Get to the bottom of the hill in the Entanjust station. Another poster of Pepper. Right. This sweet, I think Alma, I know where it's where you're doing a good job. Get on the train. Yeah, no, I get on the train and she's put one next to the rubbish bins on the train. And I get out here on London Bridge yeah and they're all over the

escalator I've lost Pap and she's not deaf because it's commuteron you know I mean but then I get in here right yeah I open up my sports bag with my bum ball equipment in it yeah I guess what's in there Yeah, I guess what's in there No, not at all. There's a packet of boulebares seasoning mix, right? It's not weird because you don't need Boulabers mix for a bum bowl. Not really. Don't really you might probably might need some perpricate Friday bum bowl Friday bum bowl. Yeah, but a wife must have put it in there by. So we had journey that that pasta there in the corner I mean you came in what one one place will be bumble

Do you know I meet the rules for bumble if you've ever played it? I haven't know you could take five aside But net ball netball caught. Yeah, you use netball five aside and there's five players on each side And um if you touch the bum of the person with the ball, they're out of the game, and then you end up with just two people left. Boom off. As well as you could go, but we don't call it a bum off in the bum ball world, but...

That's the truth, isn't it? So I'm having a game of that to do. Very nice. Can I do a little, um, give me yes or no with you? Yeah I suppose you can. All right yes or no. Chubila bells by Mike Wallfield. Yes.

Chubila bells two by Mike Wallfield. No. Chooace yes or no? You see yes or no? Yeah, and I'm a scoyer at the end. Chubila bells three by Michael field no Swob tick and from one of the bodily cavities of robot, Mugabi Yeah, yeah

Pretty good one out of four. Yeah, is it your favorite desperate is it called desperts at the moment is you still on Jevon Isn't it? Yeah, I admire that really with 30 what really. For 30, what, 20, 30 years or so? Less? At least. Yeah. One of the most beautiful countries on God's earth, you know. Did you know that you've got a 54% share in the Glastonbury Festival?

You kidding me, huh? Yeah. As you may have, don't mention that. They try and pull you up the green piece of it. Yeah, yeah. But green piece of when you've got 12% and majority of it's MoGarby. And then what's the other's oil companies and extra on the flatters and sea life as well. Talk about Africa. You know I told you last week about what happened with the snow.

Did you? Yeah, where were you? I'm with another thing. Do you want to hear about it? I do. So I was there for about a week, not about 10 days. I was staying in our hotel just next to the Did you? Where are we, man? We have another thing. You want to hear about it? I do. So I was there for about a week, not about 10 days. I was staying in our hotel just next to the big football stadium that the built. You want to car park now? Is it? Car park, yeah. Everyone needs car parks.

So a football stadium is a 10-a-perreakt. I know, but is that the legacy they really envisaged? They're not rost. Actually, they do boot set. They do sell at sales in there as well, set at the sunda. Well, that's good. Legacies are over set, they do sell it sells in there as well, so that's a good. Legacies are overrated I think. You reckon?

Yeah. I mean everything's a legacy even if it's destroyed. Yeah, there's a legacy, isn't there? I mean peppers are legacy now. Because peppers are not coming back. Oh God, I hope she finds them. I hear my heart. Get real.

Anyway so I did deal, so I drove down. Do you know South Africa, I was in Cape Town, but if you go down the bot, me and go at the southernmost point of South Africa. I think it's called Cape, is it Cape with good hope? Cape Cod, Cape Cod, whatever, Sida. And it's, as you go down, it's all like shit all, and that, you know? Yeah, there's like, there's all these build,

it's the legacy in it, part, I don't know. But it's a legacy,'t it? And not all legacies are good. Anyway so you got and then you suddenly it like it goes back to like like Dutch British influence and like it's beautiful beaches seaside and all that all the way down. Bit racist. Bit what racist? Hmm why? I just felt racist. You put the Dutch English influence and everything's nice again. Well, I'm just saying you might want us to cut that out a little bit. And so there's a little place in our car remember whether it's called Penguin Beach or something it makes be said it's called let's just say penguin box in there for the sake of

advance of the story. So I think I'll stop there that's I'll get me a little meaty self down there and have a look at so I've never seen a penguin. I love to say penguin, wouldn't you? Ed and Brazil. As far as a penguin out there actually in a box do you know? Having not been in Ed and Brazil, the penguin parade. A penguin in its natural environment. Tell me about the Penguin Parade. What happens? Every afternoon, one o'clock, the penguins come out,

the penguin enclosure, and the visitors line the sides of the path, and the penguins go on a little parade in this little circular thing. And one of them is the King of Norway. One of the penguins is the King of Norway. Yeah. Well, he actually holds that tight. It does, yeah, that's true. It's not fake news, it's true.

So, anywhere. I go down to the parking and I park Mika, right? And there's a little kiosk there for parking and there's some bloke with there. So I pay up. And I go down and it's a beautiful little cove. Turn a corner amongst the rocks and show enough there's a penguin. The fucking it's a beautiful little cove. Turn a corner amongst the rocks and show enough there's penguin.

The fucking there's a penguin. Are you said penguin? Penguin. Penguin, right? They're called them pufty. They're called pufty. Pufty. And so I was taking a photo of it.

And then I hear this voice South African say, get away from that fucking puffy Is that right get away from that fucking puffy And it's the block from the key No, but obviously is and he took a grab me and he took me up to the keyus, and he says I'm sorry about the accent. I'm gonna have to find you Mike for distressing the birds right so I'm in there with him and he's fiddling about with like a shitty little invoice book or something like that and then that was a man I look out on the kiosk and there's a South African copper there

yeah with his foot revolver yeah I promise you right and he says get out of the fucking kiosk he's a fucking gang bear yeah right so he wrestles he wrestles the block to the floor and take frog muchism to his car then he comes up to me says now I've got to not be Australian here lucky lucky a Skype now that's Australian isn't it Australia if you want it's fine see it's typically lucky a Skype they might this is his M.O.D. he hangs an hand blokes looking at the penguins it's then he full on ripes them so I've only given you the bread and butter off it there. But life on South Africa's a bit like that.

Yeah. I've never been. But I'll think twice about going down. That's beautiful place. I love the premiership football out there. Oh, well, it doesn't. But Liverpool, Manianite, was on there. They've got a massive harbour there.

It's just full of bars, very lively, sort of, remain sort of place. Oh, well, that's all right. Yeah. You know, I keep getting them mixed up, you know, remain, remain. Well, I don't know which one I've bought for actually. Well, it's a, so remain place, you know, new building and money put in, yeah, sort of thing. Right. The future. And it is, I was, there is literally, I would say, between 500 and 1,000 people in every bar watching Liverpool

Man United, they've got the kits on quite extraordinary. I've got some, some dragons, dense style ideas. All right. Businesses, you've all over the picture. I'm actually trying to flee fleece your out of some money if I possibly can. Okay, but it's about to start to your pitch. So then you're going to fleece me.

Was that a bit too honest, do you think? But still, if there's, if the idea's solid, then... Well, first of all, I've got, is the portable backpack allotment? Portable backpack allotment. It's for people who are short of time and space, but high on energy. Yeah. And it's like a backpack thing. And you can put your plant your seeds in it. Yeah. And what you do is you kind of walk a stoop. Right. So that it keeps it flatter. Cause obviously, if you're walking with it as a backpack, all the stuff

would fall out. So the seeds, all of that would fall out. So you got to walk stoop forwards. Yeah. But I've done some research and it looks a store. Oh, I've done research. Yeah, I have, it looks a store that can be good for your health and nutritionally and well-being and the community. I wonder if that, can you think of an occupation that has to be stooped to all the time? Um. So when it was involved with tunnels, are laying pipes, that laying pipes. I think the tunnel walker. The tunnel walker. Yeah, sewage. Well Andy, I'm quite like your idea. It's not fully formed. It is fully formed. Why couldn't not just have a big opening and you couldn't do enough to stoop? A big opening. You know, the top of its open.

you couldn't do enough to stoop. A big open one. You know, the top of its open. Right. And it's got a bigger surface area when it's stooped because it covers, imagine a backpack that you'd wear on your back, the surface area of the front of the back. Right, I'm saying.

As if it was just like, you know, the top bit, it's a couple of plants coming out the top that wouldn't be as productive. Hmm. I don't know if you're... Or as fun. I think if you like, do you know those sort of bins that always make me laugh so much because they're just like dust bins, but they have been offices and living rooms and that.

They look like the old, a dustbin. Oh, the old metal ones. Yeah. Yeah. They such good fun in it. Yeah. And if you've got one of them, about two foot, it straps on it. Yeah. You could probably put three potatoes in,

potato plants on it, and you get crubs. I'm seeing the surface area you've got for, I'm out. I'm out. All right, I've got a couple of others. Christmas tree cage fighting experience day. Tell me more. You know, the octagon where they do the case fighting, you basically go somewhere in industrial unit

on the edge of town. Yeah. You get in the Octagon with a Christmas tree. Yeah. And you just kick the shit out of it for 10 minutes. So you fight the Christmas tree. I'm out. I'm out.

It's good for recycling. Christmas trees. Very big in January. Recycling the community, well-begin. I'm worried there's just such a seasonal product at Erick. A lot of aggression these days. I'm sorry, no, I'm out. Right, I value that company at one Puff Detard. Right, next one, Tinder. That's it. There's that way you look at company. Yeah. Yeah, they're like that book for people with nosebleeds So I'm gonna find out if someone near buyers got a nose. Yeah, if you've got a nosebleed and someone near buyers

If you suffer from chronic nosebleeds, you know, you want to be around you're on kind, don't you? Okay, and then you just mutually support each other. Yeah I've just wondered if it's up to abuse people using it who haven't really got a nose bleed. What, try and get online sex? Well, to try and get some online nose bleed action. I don't suppose it's gonna lead necessarily to sex. Some pot as a mea-be.

Put that as a mea-be, yeah. And then I've just got a self-help program which I'm calling, shitting for victory. Okay, that's all I've got. Oh, well, you can put me down as like a supporter of it. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like a crowed fun thing. I'll put you down as a source here.

You can put a director. I'll put you as a director of the business, yeah? No, I don't. I'll put you to sign something at the end of this. All right, I'm the yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Steve McLaren update, interested. Yes, please. It's a really quick one. I promise. You remember

we left, we left him in a hotel with a fat lass. Yeah, yeah, badly injured in the box edge. Yeah. Do you remember that? I do. Well, I don't know. I don't know. A month on Steve and Casper the Snake have moved into a new apartment in Derby. In Derby, yeah. Secret location, I don't know where it is. I can't say where it is beyond John Lewis's pass it on. And so Big Last, he's in a secret place so the Big Last doesn't come knocking. You know, Stephen! Don't want any of that. So of course a new home and a new club means new carpets and state McLeod and loves carpets and carpets. So the first weeks of January, Iman Casper will go in from carpetshop to carpetshop, getting samples, asking carpets

questions, you know just fucking living the carpet life dream, you know, like BG in the bear. Yeah, you've got the wad, you have any carpet you want, you know, you're not soulmates and carpets. Yeah. So the one in the carpet, right, I call it carpet tick, yeah, because it says carpet tick. And the manager recognizes him, he says, I'll almost to be clear, I'm a fellow carpet disciple,

I do believe, if I'm not mistaken. He says no mistake, my Dey Farnlad. I'm a touch-tack with everything beholden to the carpet. Oh Mr McLaren, I think a small sample of curtain ties drifted onto the front of your head there. Don't be deaf, that's me hair, island your Rodney Plunker. Their once was a manager had an interesting idea to make a kitchen carpet using dormats from IKEA. He bought them individually not to give the game away, but

before the job was finished he sadly went insane and grew a hair island. I hear I learn. Oh, I like it very much, says the car pit man. I'm John Puffin by the way, how can I help you? Well, listen John, I've moved into a new apartment and it's the blank canvas, I want something with a thick dense pile, soft and forgiving underfoot, suitable for areas of large traffic. Probably in beige or old mail. You don't think your haul could... Ah, fucking shoulder! Ah, you don't think your haul could take a pattern, maybe something a bit 70's retro

on a poly wool mix. Poly wool mix! What do you think I am a fucking anarchist? You'll be telling me to get laminate next, you buffoon. And just as he said that, I noticed that Casper with his upper part of his body erect was looking at the hardwood and laminate samples. All right. Casper, get away from there.

I don't want you getting involved with hard flooring. All right, well Casper turned his head, but then just turned straight back to the laminates and started to lap his tongue against a little sample like a tiny one, old pine, darker pine than the modern pine. Yeah. Casper, I won't tell you again, come away, but Casper just old his ground, it's just fixed by the laminates and that. All right, stay there you plunker. See if I okay, I I've got carpet to order. You're not ruining my big day. So Steve looked at some beige samples, chores, and I was hard wearing smooth wool pile,

ten year guarantee, Andy. You'd won that one year for a whole year, definitely. So is that Mr. Puffin's desk, you know, you have to do that bit where you're signing, you're fucking all this stuff? He's about to sign off on the deal, so how's it going at Derby, says Mr Puffin? Oh, it's quicking, and out job says,

what did I call it before? It's my strong and ex-exit. Destroy an exit job, you know. I'm just bloodsucking really, but I will leave the stadium fully carpeted. Do you know Mr Puffin? It will have more carpet than the San Ciro. That's always been a dream of mine.

Suddenly Casper's head appears over the side of the desk and his neck is swollen to her about the size of a rugby ball. Yeah. And he's looking at the agreement, which isn't signed yet for the carpet. Yeah. Bang! He sends a swift pipe of spew into Mr Puffin's first and then all over the keyboard, bored and a purple work. Right. Fresh spew all over it's all ruined. Get out of

carpet, take Shouts, Mr Puffin and take that fucking disgusting snake with you. So the leave and on the way home, Steve makes Casper sit in the back of the Octavia. Steve is furious, but, Andy, is that a little grin I say on Casper's face? Yes, could well be right. He's scupped with the plants for cut. I think what we're looking at here is

start of a plant by Casper to get this new these new premises hardwood laminate flooring. Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. Is that what you reckon? Did you think that was a bit like Doug, day after noon with Al Pacino but with Mr Puffin playing the Al Pacino character? No, no.

I thought Doug the afternoon was quite tightly plotted and good film really. You didn't think much to that then? No, I thought of me and it's... I suppose it did, I'm sorry, but there you go, that's what's been happening. I've got a song. Go on then. It's about two unruly mongos.

That's the fruit of the mango. The mangoes, I'd like you to think of it in a kind of a calypso style. Right, you don't need, be careful there, you know. Oh yeah, I've thought about it, don't worry. Okay. Oh yeah, I've thought about it. Don't worry. Okay. to large magos held in custody to large magos deny the liberty waiting to talk to the duty solicitor to large magos bar from Carvin tree. I went so far didn't I was

I'm gonna clap it. Thank you. And it's one of those. Where I have my genuinely thought, I hope they're going to get out, I hope they're going to be all right. I hope they're not a shitty legal edseless, they're just as plead to it. No, they'll be all right. The caution at least, they're wrecking bar for covenry though. So you kind of promised me, you're going to be all right. Yeah, whatever.

I have a notice. Right, right. I have a notice. Have you not? Have you noticed? You've only got 1% battery left. Whenever you phone up persons toward a brass and wax and the player message, send you on all then you you're ninth in the queue for brass and oil. Have you ever noticed? Hey!

Oh yeah. Well you're not allowed to clap. I like it. Well you do something for me Andy. I like to do. I'll do the first line of a song like I'm on X Factor yeah. And then they always clap after the first line. The recognition clap.

So can I do that? Go on then. I was born. No, please fucking out. Wait, they do it after the first line. Oh, sorry. I was born by the river. Andy, where will I finish the first? The please. It means a lot to me. I was born by the river. In a little? No, no, no, just clap it all I want. I was born by the river. In a little? No, no, no, just clap, but it's all I want. I was born by the river. Thank you. I felt like that.

That's what was really good. Alright, Andy Tampo, gangs of the EPL. E-P-L. So, not long after I'm going back about three weeks, I'm in the holiday in, in major city in Sulford. Is it got the swimming pool and the sauna? No, I might have a sauna, I never dictate it, but the rutheramolody in. The rutheramolody in, I see. Anyway, that's not important. I never dick to make it. I want to give you the rest of. I want to give you the rest of. But the rather emollity. The rather emollity in, I say. Anyway, that's not important. So, I'm in there.

I've been filming eight out of ten cats in the studio. It's right thanks to the studios. I've got a lot of you. I'm a media city. How much do you think you get for eight out of ten cats? It's ten quid. Right, I'm white. You can get eight quid.

You're in Jimmy Card, does it for eight quid? No, you can get more. People like you will get get 80 people is on like a paid burns level of fear. So what would you do? You would work like third guest. Do you think at the out of importance? I've sensed from the slot to put me on that I was just a guest. Just a bit more. So they're excited. Oh, we got Greg divvies tonight. He's good. I like Greg. Yeah, we've got Russell hour. I got Bob on my superk as well., you know, it should be a good show. But I'm with Jimmy Car gets then. If you're only at the Able beyond three grad, three grand, well, maybe you're right. Anyway,

so you have a drink afterwards. I'm sat in the bar at the old idea and you get a lot of celebs in there. Later at night, it got a lot of bar and it's got security on the dawn, what have you. And in the like boob, no, I know some of you, there's no physical barrier, but in the next section, right, you've got Phil Jones, Mark Rashford, and Wade Rudi, yeah. Right.

And Wade's, let me tell you, he's got his little robot. Well, like, he's got a smocked up thing. Yeah, he's prepared, he's a lover of his life, well, lover Colleen's life to be on with you. Do you know what I mean? And then Manchester last comes up to the three of my thing, I hope I'll watch what happens here. Do you know what I mean?

Keep me head down. And the last says, I woulda Manchester people speak. All right, you're all right. You're all right. Heckles cake. All right, so she comes up, says, hey, donr aich ynnau'r aich yng Nghymru. Mae'r sgawls yn ymw'r aich.

Ymw'r aich yn ymw'r aich. Ymw'r aich. Ymw'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich.

Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich.

Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. Mae'r aich. one, show you don't sellments, neck end and nothing with the shore. He says, now me name's weird Rudy, weird Rudy, I'm in the center forward, listen, that's not, that wasn't bad, listen. So he presses the remote on our Rudy toady. Rudy toady, yeah. And Rudy toady says, Wade has scored over 250 goals in the Premier League and has paid a very high wage. He is prime football stock and famously has a face of potato. That's just fun, because when,

there's our absolute father with that. So, that percussion. Yeah, the Laos says, wow, I'm impressed as soon as he does, he meets, and where it says Phil Jones, Mark Rashford. So Phil says, hello, love. Have you had the pleasant evening. We've had a good laugh messing around the back at shops, betting a tethered alcation with our chips. It's so lovely to meet you. So she says she joins them and they're all getting

on really nicely, yet. Wine forward, word suddenly gets up. He says, would you like me to take you up to your room? I've got an iPhone so we could buy a new app or do some selfies and then Phil says, all you're asked is young man, maybe she would like me to take company at the room. Here's to eat that, I could tell you about how they make bread in factories. Or we could have a washing sink. Then suddenly Zlatan appears back from the toilet where he's been for about an hour, tight black traxo in a phazon. Where have you been, says Wade.

Zlatan has been on the pot. Zlatan has been some time. Zlatan couldn't open cubicle door. Zlatan not know how. Zlatan take this lady to her room. And he picks her up and gives her a great big hug. But suddenly she just screams out loud. He said, Fox, say your big nose bastard, you've ruptured one of me implants. Right? He's hugged to her, they're implant, boom, boom. And she runs off. So, Zlatan, Hans Mark is a Fez.

Takes office tracksuit bottoms and touches his toes with his nose, you know the routine. Now, Wipes Latans are. So, they each take a wet wipe out of Zlatan's Fez and begin working away his ainess. And that's how I left him. You went to bed after that? Well I watched you for a little bit. I went to look at something else on the inside of the room. I went to look at someone else. I wondered if George Clarke was there and he was, he was in one of the

lifts. Well he isn't supposed to be. Anyway so yeah that was me little stud. Do you like monkfish? No. No. No. I think it's a really nice fish. What's that telly if you got? 40 inch 40. It's not telling it. I mean, it's not I'm not be with it. So what are you looking at? What on the dollar? You know, what am I supposed to do? Well, what what what what was you like? What's your dream telly? I'm looking ideally at something 55 inch. Right, because I'll just like I would just like to chip in there, I've been living with a 55 inch for the last year, I got Samsung curved screen. I know that, yeah. And one I wanna just warn people

away from this curved screen because of it's got a very glossy screen, terrible reflections. And secondly, it's not big enough. 55's not big enough, no, I think the thing that makes something a sin at more cinematic, you know, immersive experience is when people's heads, no, on the screen, are bigger than human heads. Right. And on the standard midshot

that you get of people being newsreaders or in movies or whatever, a head on a 55 inch is more or less the same as a human head. So it doesn't feel real? I thought that would be a bonus. It'll feel like they're in your room. Look, it really is a Marjorie Pearson or whatever. But no, you need to go up. I, I, I, please don't go or less.

What do you think? 70, 70 butt plate by arm is 78. But I live in a fungal order. It's basically a, a, a rabbit hutch. But I was the room with you moving from your fungal. Oh's basically a rabbit hutch. But how is the room as you move in from your fungal? I'm looking into it. Yeah, I want the list. Would you look, if you're looking at a house,

or another fungal? Anything with a roof. But you've got a roof now, don't you? Yeah, I've got, so I don't want to drop down to something that doesn't have a roof. I don't want to live in a pen. Yeah, no, I wouldn't put you in a pen, not with children. The, okay, well, have you ever been arrested?

Yeah. Just once. What for? Underage drinking. Underage drinking. I got done for underage betting. Did you? Well, I didn't get done.

I got the coppers took me home, you know? Yeah. Did they actually read you your rights? I don't think so. I think in those days, you know, like go back in, you know, Brexit, Britain, as it were. Those days, they're like like took you by your ear. Yeah, give you a slap it told yeah told you not to do it again Oh, sorry, it was something else. I saw all was also I was arrested for kicking the front the windows in out in a long dread Right, and that was right. So anyway, yeah, anything else you'd like the confess to it this time any other arrest

Yeah, and nearly get the feeling there's more well maybe I'll tell you about some of me arrests next week because we're against our marty questions from your blood relatives I've just got one this week I give a crab no they've really tried very hard with that one was ridiculous question yeah just passing on don't show it the messenger, I hope you'll edit that out of the show. No, no. Wife's questions. Are you dating at the moment?

No. If you were dating, would it be male or female? Female, I'll say. It's Valentine's Day is coming up. I can see why she's asked this. Well, it's Valentine's Day coming up. No, it's... If you were dating, where would you take your date for Valentine's night?

Um, being cute. Oh fuck, you wouldn't take it being cute. Yeah, what? No you wouldn't. I wouldn't go to a restaurant. I wouldn't pay a restaurant prices on Valentine's night. Oh you mean the cafe and being cute? Around being cute just for a bit of a browse. That's the kind of thing that can bring two people together. Where do you snuffle around to get a last light on building sides and stuff? Thank you. Oh, good.

Alright, well I'm finishing now, I'm sorry. Think about it. You wouldn't take a last, you know, you were I know your type, you worried. Ah! You laugh at me, you're worried that there is no less out there that would consider you a catch. I think it's been established. So you know the compensate and you're the sort of blog who take them to like Ravioli's Italian restaurant

or something pretend that like I'm, you know, like I know it's not much to look at but I could make, I could enhance your life. Well, you do that being clear, you take them to the fitted bathrooms and the paint mix and bit and say this could be your future. And that's for the Valentine night trade. Yeah, because they're all until nine in it being cute. Well, is that bedtime when you're dating?

You should be, I guess you should be on fucking undeadables, you would. Honestly. If you're lucky, you should be on fucking Undeirables, you would. Honestly. I've got a final song which I'd like to, it's a ballad. Yeah. It's powerful. Is it a Scottish one? Is it like, no, it's not as you did the last two weeks. No, it's more, it's more the, it's more the same. Well, whether the same, exactly the same.

I think so. They felt the same. Yeah. That's why I haven't done one because I was hurt by that comment. Good. So this song is more like... It's like commercial ballad. Right. It's something that might be played at an event, like an inspirational event or something.

Christian Evangelion. I was thinking Christian, I was thinking more motivational. Agnostic. Yeah, it's a like Nostek And I haven't got a tune yet. So bear with me Mel Gibson With his powerful arms lifting up the back of a Volvo estate Burned Cumberbatch With his piercing eyes

Cutting through steel like a laser beam. Brad Pitt, yeah, with this powerful ainess, straddling the world, feeding all the boys and girls, Idris Elba, with this powerful chest, winning a race with a castel on a shoulder Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do And every single night and single day you need to listen to what the powerful act to say. Wow, that was something else. Yeah, that was more than original. Yeah, now I'm going to listen to the actors from now on. Thanks for having me. I'll see you next time.

If you're still listening to this, after the, the theme music at the end, I'll try and drop in a bit of the Munro shock absorber 7-H single. Bye bye. Night night. Oh I'm so changed for great to come And some had no answer to Still others say it's safety Let's make it a no more Changing them to no more

They're changing them to no more No more means more I'm driving, so they, changing the two-mall-mall Changing the two-mall-mall