Athletico Mince - Ep. 41 - Meet Barry Homeowner

Episode Date: February 24, 2017

A new episode of Vince Parsnips' observational sitcom, another trip to South Africa, some TV show ideas, and a marital crisis for Lawro. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Alright, honky sunk. It's quite powerful, quite resigned, quite sort of world-wearing. And I mean business this time. When you say business, you literally mean mean business like CEO of a large company. Yeah if need be yeah if athletic women has become a large company since the last time we did one then yes. Do you have a guard yourself at the CEO? Do you have a favorite large company? I mean large company. The largest one I think of that I'm really

doing. I didn't ask you what you got. Alright so it yep please let me finish the largest one I think of that I'm into. Into. Neto. You really like Neto. Yeah. Now for people who don't live in the Northeast, tell them what Neto is.

It's like Aldi, but they shut about five years ago. Alright, but you've always, you like the memory of it. It's not a stardust thing. It's like toffaws. And toffaws. Hey, hey, hey, you remember Neto? You remember Neto from about 2011. You remember those weird trolleys they had your brass Android get stuck in the mechanism so you'd shit your pants

Listen, I've got some names for you this week because I'm fed up with being dictated to I do exactly the opposite of dictate you actually I say here is the choice of No, but you can be runny up. Yeah, but there's an inherent sortate you actually. I say here is the choice of an answer, or you can be running up, dog. Yeah, but there's an inherent sort of threat there, I think. It's kind of like pick one of these names because I've made an effort to come up with them. Do you know I once went Andy, I'm sorry, just remembering. I might have told you this before,

but I've ever told you about when I hurt me I with a bit of grass. Yes, yeah. Unless that was someone else that told me that because it sounds quite common. Oh, okay, well forget it then. Right, I won't tell you. I won't tell you. Well, I went to, I was filming Randa not Kirk's face. I was. And I've been off for a time. And at some point I bent down. And just a long bit of grass. You know, the ones that have the bits on the end that you can like throw. Yeah. And the stick in. Is that grass? I don't know,

how you're grass, whatever. Yeah. And grass whatever? And it really hurt me eye. So I went to accident and emergencies and it was a Chinese nurse and she said what's happened and I said, I hurt my eye with a bit of grass and she said, Bob's pointing to his eye with his fingers and saying that at this point. She said, glass, right? And it's not a racist thing. So she said, I said, no, we she said glass. Right. And it's not a racist thing.

So she said, I said, no, we're not glass. Right. Grace. And then I thought, and I genuinely thought this would be easier. So I said, Nettle. Right. She said, Metal. And I could see it. Anyway, I just, isn't it amusing? Like the, you know, the culture differences. Yeah. We're going to miss all that post Brexit, aren't we? No way. No way. He'll still remain anyway. I've got four names for you. Not three names he chose from. All right. I didn't be honky tonk. Right. You can be Colonel Pai-Bom. Yes. I haven't got a backstory because I can't be asked. Colonel Pai-Bom, you can be the hidden chest. Right. Mysterious. The lost book. Possibly a wrestler. The hidden chest. The hidden chest, okay.

Or, or leery and sons, a family concern. Scrap dealers, is it? Might be, if you want to be. Or you can be honky-tonk. And what was the first one? First one was Colonel Pipepom. You know, for one day and one day only, I'm going to be Colonel Pipepom.

Right, enjoy it. Okay, now I wasn't going to offer you any, but there's two. I'm just seeing you today. You're looking quite world-wide, you're, you know lid back. Let a bit lid back So I was thinking maybe you would like to be called Barry Holmona, right? You know our main There's that relaxed feeling that you get from being a home one mortgage paid off or It's Barry's it's Barry a homeowner is something about him that makes me think it's the sweater over his shoulders knotted. Yeah

So Barry homo or you could be I'm thinking that this person Maybe I don't know if he's Turkish or not, but I know he has a good fun He's got a good laugh in his life. He's on discourse Michael Jackson songs. Yeah, and all that sort of stuff. Harry Sylvester Do you think you like it? I like them both, you know, yeah, but I'm going to go for security. I'm going to go for Barry Hormourner. Barry Hormourner. Because I'm sick of renting the fungalore. I'd love to be a Hormourner, Bob. This is Barry. I'd say to Jeff, Jeff, this is Barry. Hi, I'm Barry. I'm a, I'm a Hormourner, I didn't know if you know, own my own home. Yeah. Which is terrific. Why are you mentioning that, Barry? That sounds like the kind of thing a prick would do. You know, I didn't think at first. I thought, how am I going to manage these mortgage

payments, especially with travel, because I live 30 miles away from work now. But actually, I have managed, because of course I've been staying in more because it's so lovely being a homeowner and having your own home to enjoy, I've been decorating, doing a bit of interior design, it's been terrific. In English from the time after all, it's this castle. I mean, it's a shame, you know, a lot of pubs are closing, left, right, and center, willing, nearly,

because people just don't go out as much. I think it's because people just want to stay in within their own environment. Yeah. And, you know, just maybe a bottle of wine. Yeah, I mean, I've had a few friends all from the office. You know, and we've always eaten the sun, yeah! Ha ha ha! You saw a say, Good big trip! I said, Gary, hey, Gary, Kev, I've had a few friends all from the office. You know, and we've always eaten LESANYA!

You saw a say, GRIFFIC CHERVY! I said, Gary! Hey, Gary Kav, do you fancy coming over to my home that I own this evening? TANTUM LES TANYA! You know, that kind of thing. That's good, yeah. Well, that's me.

That's me in a nutshell, Barry Hormourner. I've got some questions from the blood relic of... Oh, right. Right, for example, if you don't know what a man like, for example, Gary Bury-Hormorner, would you refer to him as a fella? Like, we say that fella over there. Yeah, as you see that block. Oh, you see that guy. I'd say a block.

You'd say a block. I would say a guy. I'd say, say that block. How long have you lived in the South? I've asked that block there. How long have you lived in the South? You would go and ask that block there. How long have you lived in the south? You would say I've said that since I was a since I was a tiny pepper pot. But you wouldn't say Guy. I wouldn't say Guy. No, I'm not wet Australian in it, son. That's a gadget. Oh, well, you may be gadget. I mean, we used to say

chore. Ch- chore. You used to call blocks chore. That's a a better thing. I don't know whether it's a butter thing or not. I think it is because no one else has ever had a better. Have you ever used bodily fluids within a protest situation? Protest, then. Quite a specific question. I don't know what that's come from. Yours or those of someone else? Bodily few. In a protest?

Only in a protest situation. I mean, when I was a libertarian anarchist back in the day in the mid-70s, I once disrupted the exams at a university by smacking a dustbin lid with me painless, but there was no flow as involved. He did throw any blood. No, I don't think I did. And the pain is remained.

Oh, don't, you didn't have to say that again You know what I mean do you want to call us a little shit now? Oh, yeah, can I please don't play you little shit Thank you very much you shitty little man that's enough. I don't know final question. I'm scared to view you shit How did you get so shit? Thank you final question. Yeah, cause um Have you ever been on a jury? No, but when I was, um, don't stop me because I know it's not so my answer is no, but Barry would like this. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, it would be good. It's sort of like a talking point around the dinnertime. It's a bit edgy. Your conversation starter. A conversation starter. Right.

So anyone being on a jewelry? Anyone? It'll be good. But I was so in that sense, I say, yes, Barry. Beautiful home, by the way. Yes, Barry. I was once a solicitor. I think it was just a shoplifting case

in a London crown court. Brenda Blethwyn was on the jury. So that was really strange for me. Brenda Blethwyn, you know, Ben actress. The actress, she was on the jury. Right. And, you know, I kind of wanted to tell her, because I felt the connection,

because I'd say, no, I'm gonna tell you, she's really good actress. Yeah. And the man, they're like, You should play in a jury. No, this was for real. This one, I was a slister. This wasn't in Randall and Hopkins. No, this was for real. This one I was a slisser. This wasn't in Randall and Hopkins.

No, and I wanted to sort of, which one's the one? He's guilty. You know, but I did it. Absolutely. It's guilty, pass it on. Look, Blender, you must not tell anyone, right? But he's guilty as soon.

Pass it on. So, no, did that really happen? And Barry would say, this is going great in it. Yeah. Absolutely, it's fantastic. It's possibly picked too soon But yeah, is this music bothering anyone? Yeah, it's it's early Midnight oil and Australian band I quite like it in the background especially during a starter. Yeah, of course. Yeah Some of the edgier work. I'm sorry, but I've never been to I've been to one dinner party in my entire life really yeah

I've got that I yeah, I know that is it like I swear on my little I love my cats I swear on their face is setting on fire. Yeah, just out with a blue. It's instant bang They're gone so where the hell is that much your first your first good months and you wouldn't even be able to say because his lips are gone to shit. So I've probably been to one dinner party in my life. Is it a dinner party if you just get the set menu for four from your local Chinese and some people come around with some cans?

Ooh, because that's been... And where do you eat them round the table? It's just, I'll fresco as a card. No, I don't think, I'm not that it's something I've done. No, I don't know if I've had to dinner party or not. I mean, I've lived in my house that I'm in now for probably 10 years. And I've never had anyone visit the house

other than family. Yeah. I don't really, you don't let them through the gifts. Did you see the Chrissy Hing documentary this week? I saw a little bit of it. And she was still in challenging individuals. Yeah, well, she said, I mean,

I think she's incredibly talented. So I'm, fuck, I don't care. I don't care what she's like. But I thought it was quite nice when she said, people now these days, because it didn't used to be like this, Andy. People tend to think these days, to help present myself to the world

via telling you what my opinions are. Yes. When I was young, it days to I'll present myself to the world via telling you what my opinions are Yes, when I was young it was that I'll present myself to the world by say being funny Yeah, or what do you know what I mean? But now it's like he is my opinion things and I was just a lovely bit of the documentary when she was saying this and she said Do you know what I wish these people were just fuck off? Just people in general that's it wasn't these people she said that you know what I wish these people were just fuck off? Just people in general. Yes, that's it wasn't that he said. She said, do you know what I just wish people would fuck off?

That's really interesting, Barry. When, where was that documentary? Was it on I Player or I T SNEDFLIX? Netflix, surely. Yeah, I think so. I think you can get across all the, what do they call them? All the outlets. Oh, yeah, let's, yeah.

Anyway, is everyone finished? All the platforms. Is everyone finished? I've got some photos of this house before I moved in. Oh my God, you wouldn't believe it. I think a bloody hoarder must have lived here. Well, you've done a great job, Barry. So, I just want to say, Andy, I just want to say if we're going to do these live shows.

We are. Yeah, sooner than people might think. Yeah. And I just want to take up, I just want to say if we're going to do these live shows, sooner than people might think. And I just want to take up people's time to say, look, you've got to follow me, you are a Theta Co-Mintz on Twitter because that's the only place what you'll find out how to get tickets. And we're only doing small venues so the might sell quite quick. Exactly. You are at Real Bob Mortimer. I am at Profone, at you swan. We are at Athlete Athletigo Minz and we also go AthletigoMinz.com website, go to them, follow them, let's go to your life, come and see us, here, here,

come and see the shambles, oh god it'll be such a shambles. You know we haven't heard from for a while, your sitcom fella? Yeah, Vince Parsnitz. Oh fucker, I was right, I'm banging on the... You were? Yeah, no the sitcom, I've got a few names to suggest for it, because we could have a pilot soon. The Parsnips Weir? Yeah. Anyone for Parsnips? Don't like it, it's all 270's. Athletic Ovi- Will you cost all two fucking selfie- Yeah, we had the content. Athletic Ovi-

Parsnipone Monias? No. The Parsnips Weir? No? No? Well, it's Deathcore there, hey, what's being No, the past dips were? No. No. Well, it's Death's call over there. Hey, what's been going on this week? With Vince, any's long-suffering wife, Marion, okay? Vince, Vince, where's the car gone, Vince? I've sold it, Marion! Oh, I suppose we can manage without it.

I actually just changed a little bit there. I suppose we can manage without it. Are you putting just changed a little bit there. I suppose we can manage without it. Are you putting the money towards our mountain bills and debt and all that? No, I love. I'm upscaling! Time for a new motor! What they didn't have, what I fancy dial at the dealership! So I'm scouting around till I find what I'm looking for! What are they looking at? I'm so sorry, could you do it?

I love a way to say dealership. Could you really go for dealership? Do you know? No. Sorry. No love. No love. I'm upscaling.

Time for a new order. But there's nothing to think of, fancy down at the dealership. So I'm scouting around till I find what I'm looking for. What are you looking for? No windows in the doors welded shut so you can just jump in through the window like on the jokes of hazard. Do you remember? Hey, hey, I'm off to summit like that.

Dremel tobers, what are they all about? I'm off to summit like that. Indicate those that made noises. You remember that? Hey, do ya? Do you remember when you died, kept an axe in the boat inside a blanket? And you found it back to there when you were getting your cricket set out of the beach? And you took your smuggler's cave, and you made your join the secret smuggler's club. You remember? And you swear you'd never tell anyone about the axe.

And as you smuggler in, hands my drop off in the middle of the night you remember hey you remember not having seat belts in the back so you can stand up on that bit between the two front seats and if you fall over when you dive in round around about too fast because he was getting stressed because he was sick of your fucking nose and if you don't shoot winding your pullers car over in a minute you can get out fucking walk and after something like that if you don't shut wine and you'll pull this car over in a minute you can get out fucking walk I'm off to something like that you remember don't be blue vines don't be blue do you remember Marion when the draft used to come in through the window and the workings in your brass hand would freeze and seize up we're talking about

vines what's a brass hand I think I think I'll go spit to the counselor again, Marion. Or Vince. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh there for 10 days, as you know. So let's face it, I'm not going to be able to pull off more than 10 stars there. But on one of the days, there's a really famous restaurant in Cape Town. People who've been there will know it. It's like a VIP place, it's on the beach near the harbour. And you eat on the beach and they cook the food, then bring it out to you on the beach, and that. You get a lot of, are you sponsored by the beach or something? I can see it. on the beach, isn't that? You get a lot of, are you sponsored by the beach or something? You get a lot of like the Joe Hanna's Burg Rappers there. Yeah, and a lot of this.

The Joe Burg beat boys. No, but this big news, you know, big, big news. The South African rap scene. So I fellir up at my son on a underground train in Barcelona once. What did he say to him? I'm going to see that for another podcast. Okay, so it's very exclusive. Rappin podcast I'm going see if that for another podcast. Okay, so it's very exclusive. I'm gonna do it's really exclusive restaurant. I want to emphasize that right. It's a bit like it's say for you a bit like a phoenix restaurant right in Sunland is that push right? So they have a gate there you've got you have you you you can't just turn up I got in there because the production company got me in there.

They got bouncers on gates before you even drive to the restaurant. Really? I just want to say it's important. You know, got flame lights on the beach and that weed falling to the head. Do you know, Randall and Hopkirk. You know, I did a show called Randall and Hopkirk on the telly. Surprised you bring that up, yeah? Well, no, it's really.

Nobody's really big in South Africa. Do you have to go to like um like conferences and stuff no I wouldn't know that shit but I'm saying that's what got me in there I'm sat on the table on the beach and see a block in a daft outfit and that's so I one of all does some food so I'm backing them over and I say I want boiled lobster right and I said please well I probably did I'm backing him over and I say I want boiled lobster, right? And I said, please, well I probably did. I'm just sitting on that. I want boiled lobster please, but I said if it isn't fresh, I'll set fire to myself, right? And the restaurant will look stupid, but that was called a joke. Yeah, I mean, so he

says, well look mate, you can choose your own lobster from the lobster pots by the rocks. If you don't mind getting a little bit wet, well, mate, you can choose your own lobster from the lobster pots by the rocks if you don't man getting a little bit wet. Well Andy, I add, as you know I would, Michina or Shotsun. Yeah. And he said the water will only come up to you and he's, so I thought I'm going to go for it but you pick me on lobster from the sea. We clamp over these rocks and we get to what is, it's actually our official pool, but it looks like it's part of the rocky environment. He shines his torch into the pool, and in there, you can see, tens, if not hundreds of lobsters, Andy.

Really? Under the torch, like, it's a nice thing to, I love doing this. That's a nice thing to have seen, and it has this, it's a big thing. It's a big thing when you catch for it. Yeah. So, he shines his torch on the lobster.

Then he turns round really quickly, cracks me around the head with his torch. Right. He says, Get in the fucking lobster, pit you prick. That's Australian, innit? No, that was alright. Get in the fucking lobster, pot you prick. He's on the like that.

What the fuck are you doing? He says shut your fucking face fat boy. Right. I'm Charna, the rapper. So shit, I didn't know. I thought you were the waiter because you had this like gown on, right? And it'll stop the accent.

He says do waiters wear, get well, do wait, I can't do it, do waiters wear gowns. I've got a go. The waiters wear gowns worth over 20,000 rent, joke boy. Or have a time X-go-played watch, getting the fucking labs lobster pot. And then he strikes me again with the torch, right?

Now I'm managed to deflect this blow a bit with me arm and thee, which I was pretty pleased about. Yeah. Because I deflected it. I said, look, I'm really sorry if I thought you were the where, you don't have to kill me. Then I hear another voice, quite a calm voice in the darkness, right? Put the torch down and back off the fat guy. That's Australian one, I can't tell anymore. Shines his torch up to the top of the rocks and there is too fee.

He's really notorious, Cape Town rapper. Right, so I've gone. on it. I can't tell anymore. Shines his torch up to the top of the rocks and there is too fee. He's in a really notorious Cape Town rapper. He's got a gun. Of course, he's got his first time I've ever seen a gun. Was it a shiny gun? Well, I was, yeah, that, you know, he might not have had a gun, but as far as he's in a black, I thought it was a gun. Jesus, thanks, mate. I think he was going to kill me. He said, just pick up a lobster. No, just pick up a lobster and get back to your table. Now that's Aussie. So I climbed up the rocks to meet me a skirm. And as I passed too free, I said, not really kind of you, but why did you help me? And he said,

it's a pleasure, Mr. Hookerke. Give more respect to Mr. Randall. I saw a will do. And he says, and by the way, he wasn't gonna kill you. He was gonna stick a lobster up your anus. Aaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah! So that was a, that was a good idea.

That was not a good idea then. Well, I don't know. Can I just ask Andy, did you think that story was a bit like Castaway with Tom Anx? Yeah, a bit. Well, I've never seen Castaway with Tom Anx and I kind of wish I'd you think that story was a bit like Castaway with Tom Angst? Yeah, a bit. Well, I've never seen Castaway with Tom Angst and I kind of wish I'd never heard that story. So yeah, I'll say yeah. Oh, that's nice.

That was the idea. Can I pitch some TV shows to you? If you feel you must add it. You're in the industry Somebody balls deep in the TV industry. I'm about to. Hey, I went to sell a show to the baby say the other day And I think they've talked it they've said yes or really yeah, jeez I could talk you through the process in period Well, I'll tell you I'll give you the pictures. I'll just I'll give you there. What are the call it and elevator pitch? It's a pitch. What do they do? It's Let's just give it in like one like a capsule pitch.

Look, it was on the right. From now on, it should be known as a capsule pitch. Oh, you know, the best capsule. Our glass pitch. The best capsule is either the LEMSIP capsule or the Anaden. Would you say that's right? Yeah, probably. So should we call it a LEMSIP pitch?

Right, go on. I want to call it an hourglass pitch because it starts. Well, I'm going to get to the end. You can't fuck off. It's a lense pitch. Lense pitch, alright. It's called, in you fucking gore, right, and it's Jedwood and they get dropped into the top of a really high industrial chimney.

Yeah. This is just the pilot episode, the first one. And just say, our gore's, would that be worthy of a commission? Andy, I'm sorry to interrupt you, Flo here, but on three separate occasions, to three separate broadcasters, I promise you, me and Vic have pitched, put in a celebrity in a chimney. Really? I promise you.

And we... Industrial chimney, you're right. No, we were thinking of just like... A warm-orn as chimney. No, goth, you know, big, decent sized chimney, and an old in or in a Kind of want you to get a chip and cameras up there and seeing a last Logist and see what they say, okay, so it's been so kind for me

It's so I know because I've tried that it will fail But I like it. Okay. I'd either want to shed with con brothers be lovers Just a hold on a minute. Is this Barry Horvore on a conversation stuff? Hey guys, imagine you were pitching a television show. Go on, what would you pitch? What would you bloody pitch? Well, here's what I've got for you. This is called, I've been thinking about it

for quite a while now since I've been watching the pizza top of the pops. Ice zombie, Boni M. Hold on, get stopped the vice. I want to consider it properly. Ice, zombie. Zombie. Boni M.

Imagine what happens in a show. Well Well it's cartoon, it's animation, it's very cool computer animation, you can do it half an hour. Okay, bony m, they're back, but they're in ice, zombie form this time. Bigger, more powerful, even more melodic. But what do they do? Self fucking, soul mysteries. Well the fuck else they're gonna do? Record hits, solve mysteries. I like it. There's your half and half. I like it. I don't need two minutes of getting on

on the commercial channels. I don't even know that they need to be zombies, but we'd like to send that into me. Is that too much? Send that into me. We'll have another meeting. Okay, the zombies can be optional. I'm another animation.

I've got, it's called Bloody Waffles. Right. Now what it is, it's these really annoying cartoon waffles. Right. And they get up to stuff and people always just go Oh, there's bloody waffles But we've got a commercial off-shoot as well so we can sell the waffles in the shops called bloody waffles And it'll probably have to be raspberry sauce instead of blood

Do you know what I mean? There's blood in the waffles. Yeah, so it works on more than one level bloody waffles I'll put that down as a maybe yeah, okay, right? so I'm just saying I'm just so I'm a baddie and I'm just unlocking the safe I've got baddies in my next pitch okay well I'm just thinking maybe there's it like so I'm just doing the ticking thing on a safe lock yeah and that then there's a hand a little thin sort of battery then a better hand on my shoulder I say are you getting it bloody waffles? May we have been for them bloody waffles? I want a bloody gun away with it. Maybe. Yeah. Or to maybe one punch justice.

Oh, it's kind of like the cook report, but you get the bad easy expose them and you drive the voice. I thought we're doing a dinner part. No, that's incidental. I want to listen to your pitch. It's one punch justice. I'm on with it. It's bad easy. He explores them and then they just

one punch in the face to end it. One punch bad easy. No, I don't like it, this sounds like this. I just want to say more bad easy getting punches in the face on the talix that doesn't happen enough. Yeah, well, I don't, do you know I watched the Russian Hooligan thing last night? Did you watch it?

The Russian Hooligan thing from last week. From the Russian Hooligan thing. I saw it, and ultimately it's this compulsive seeing people punch and kick in that. But, you know, I'm a bloody homeowner now and I'm on self grown up. Well, the last one I've got is an entire channel, it's just called Nockers in Fighting. Okay, yeah. That's it, then. I think that's probably been John in Eastern Europe Now can you help me out with me next to her landy because I love so Lawrence and oh I'd love to we haven't heard about him for a while There's a voice or I can do without lapsing in

African in it get out of the lobster pit If someone like that you prick that. You prick, I'll dub that in from, for earlier. Get your P-45 and get out of here, you prick. So Mark was at home on Tuesday actually. Right. And he was watching homes under hammer with Barbara and he got a bit of a sweat on. Right, yeah. So Mark says, you ready? Ready, can you turn the heat and down, Barbara? I've got a bit of a sweat on. Can you turn the heating down, Barbara? I've got a bit of a sweat on. I've still got it.

I've still got a lot of. Oh, Mark, the heating isn't on your sweating because as usual, your shirts too tight and you get in anxious that your valuation won't be the same as the estate agents on home in the hammer. And he says, if I take my shirt off, will you give me a wipe down with the Belinda wipes? If I take my my shirt off will you give me a wipe down with the Belinda wipes. If I take my shirt off will you give me a wipe down with the Belinda wipes?

So she takes a shirt off for him and it is absolutely sodden and a real heavy wear. She begins to wipe away his back but no sooner she cleaned off the sweat then it begins to pull again round his lower back you know. Are we seeing Harry Buck or Non-Harry Buck? It's just the bottom there. It's a bit and it traps the sweat and pick, you know, on his trousers aligned. What's going on Mark? I've never known you sweat like this. Are you worried about something? Mark says, it's Robson Green, Barbara. He wants me to leave you and go and live with him and I don't know what to do. It's Robson grain, Barbara. It wants me to leave you and go and live with him. And I don't know what to do.

Christ, Mark, that's a bit of a bombshell, she says. Mark says, I'm sorry as Fuck Barbara. I'm sorry as Fuck Barbara. It came totally out of the blue when I was at the outlet centre with him on Sunday. It came totally out of the blue when I was at the outlet center with him on Sunday. I came totally out of the blue when I was at the outlet center with him on Sunday. Barbara says, well, Mark, do you love him? He says, I don't know Barbara. I don't know Barbara. I know I love you and both of our rabbits, Paul and Dunhene. I know I love you and both of our rabbits, Paul and Dunheney. Unheney. Unheney. You know like the nagy with an end.

Uh-uh, and Heney. Paul and Heney. But Robson is a very exciting man. But Robson, it's a very exciting man. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. At this point, Robson Green walks in, straighting through the front door. Does it not knock? Nice straight in, kiddo.

Chansa. Well, what's your answer, Laura? Have you torn the wife yet? I did you shit out? Max, as I've just told her, I'm very confused. I've just told her, I'm very confused. If I came to live with you, would we get married? If I came to live with you, would we get married? If I can't live with you, would we get married?

Well, I do think we should get a heroine ourselves, like, but I, why not? If it all pans out nice and that? Mark says, are you only good with Belinda Wabs? Are you only good with Belinda Wabs? Robson says, I'm a mob, try this all, a book, Belinda Wabs. When I was a burn, I'm right, charlotte book but in the white when I was a burn I'm right fog and swift on the Berlin there Mark says what about the rabbits Barbara?

What about the rabbit's Barbara? Would it be okay if I took Keene and you kept Paul? Would it be all right if I took and Keene and you kept Paul? I don't think that would be Alright, if I took, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he and we could call it Rafa Benitez, talking of Rafa Benitez. I want you on a assurance, Mark, that Rafa Benitez will be invited round for tea, at least twice a week and for a sleepover, at least once a month. Mark says, Robson, I can't guarantee that. Robson, I can't guarantee that.

Rafa Benitez is foreign. Rafa Benitez is foreign. He might not do sleepovers. He might not do sleepovers. He might not do sleepovers. He might leave Newcastle. He was very disappointed with the January transfer window. Mwah. He might leave Newcastle.

He was very disappointed with the January transfer window. You're what? No, Raffa Baneet as his partner the deal. You can forget it. I'm off round Stings Gaff. See if I can prize him a weird from Trudy. Ah, Raffer loves a bit of loop music. And he's gone. So obviously he only wanted Mark to get to Raffer, obviously. So Mark says, sorry about that love, I hope you're not

upset. Sorry about that love, I hope you're not upset. He says, well, she says it would have been nice to get a break from you but never mind. Suppose it's best for Paul and Haney. Hey, you're still sweating like a pig in cling film. Mark says, because he always got a lie at any. Looks like it was the valuation that was worrying me after all. Looks like it was the valuation that was worrying me after all and the birth laugh So did you hey, I did you think that story was a bit like a Ken Lurch movie So gritty but unwatchable well that's unfair I think Right, I've got a song to finish just this week and it's a little bit of a soft rock anthem. Okay, so anything you want me to do, tell me.

If you could just wave your arms to the side of the side. No, well you know I can't wave me because I'm a bad shoulder. Is that what you're trying to set me up for? Forget it, it's easier. Alright, but just waving a magic light in the arms. You're all about falling asleep. Whatever. Here we go. at the start of your life, an innocent boy with no trouble to strive. Let me lead the way, let me show you how you'll thank me one day, and I'll tell it to you now. I would give

it ten minutes if I were you. Go watch the telly or maybe make a brew just hold it in a while cuz the stench in there is fire I'd give it ten minutes if I were you I would give it ten minutes if I were you Just go watch the telly or maybe make a brew just hold it in a while Cause the stench isn't there is fire So I would give it 10 minutes if I were yeah That would be done by the Eagles maybe or to lawful thinking Maybe thinking Meatloaf? Yeah it's got that. Jim Steinman can't fail about it. Well, I mean, it's a little bit, I don't know what to say about that because I couldn't

help laughing, but I hated myself for laughing. So that's my comment on it. Right. Alright, it appealed to the fiercest part of the souls. Oh, well there we are, and that's the end of the podcast. Join us again next week for more. Yeah, it's been a pleasure seeing you next time. Bye. the podcast. Join us again next week for more. Yeah it's been a pleasure. See you next time. Bye!

you