Athletico Mince - Ep. 45 - Yes Please!

Episode Date: July 1, 2017

We're BACK with a bumper hour-long episode - and there's more stuff in it than we could possibly list here. Enjoy... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh All right honky-tonk all right, but so you've been watching the wire somewhere all right all right All right, that was just a usual voice. I don't think so. All right, it's normally just a side. Well, I've got a bit of a, I've got a bit of a, turning on me throat. What do you think that is?

What have you been eating? I had an energy bar. Yeah. I had to, it's, it's, it's, it's got dates and it's got, I think raisins in it or something. Yeah. It's probably a reaction to that. Yeah.

And the body's probably rejected it. Well, you didn't buy that in Sunderland, did you? I did, actually. Did you sell it in the supermarkets in the Sainsbury's? It's a one-light hole full shop that's under an arm-gall. There's one aisle, well half an hour, quarter an aisle in Sainsbury's that sells that stuff. Well, more full, you, and no, more full, you.

Thank you, book. You know, we haven't done one for a while, one of these podcasts. No, is it your fault or is it my fault? I think it's my fault. I know it's my fault. Yeah. It's, um, well, 150% math. Yeah. But never the less, I'm pleased you've had a bit of to that. I think, you know, like we should give it a new star and maybe instead of the side, right, you could give me some a bit more uplifting, like the sound from the circus or the fun fare. So much again, listen as bridge rushing. Okay, I mean, we clowns horns, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, right.

Yeah. Something like that. Maybe next week, or like a traveler, a tinker, in shouting on the waltzes, you know. Yeah. Careful, love. Yeah. No, careful, love.

There's more like that, wouldn't it? Yeah. Oh, the sizzling of the burgers. Mm. There's lovely, fun, fair burgers. How do you do a sizzling noise? Sh, it's easy, it's a bit out of a lector. It's like whatever be it away. Oh, especially at the fun fair, this is like observation comedy. Yeah. But where you go off the beaten track a bit and you get into

a little area where there's, it smells a diesel. I don't like this. It's quite hot and there's a generator going, I like that. I'll seek's quite hot and there's a generator going like that. I'll seek that out. And there's a tinker there with a tiniage girl doing something you should. Hey, what? Grumin. Well, that's what you want to call it. The ping of the air rifle. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, I used to like that game. The I once went to poor adventurer, I think you know it. I've been there and my kids wanted the big, big Woodie Woodpecker in about three, four foot in one of those games where you throw a ball, a ping pong ball, that's the land in the jar.

Yeah. And they got obsessed with it. So I spent a week for five days going on that about every hour whilst they went off. Right. And I did win a woodie woodpecker. And how many euros did you spend? Well, I can't, we knew at the time, but I think I spent something like 200 quid on it. Yeah. Honestly. For a massive woodie. You know what I was doing with the dad? You know, they do them in the gift shop for like 40 euros. Shit, they bought an espanyol top there as well. They got, you know what,

you know what I'm saying? And the kids get obsessed with stuff on holiday. And you say, no, you can't have it. It's 70 euro or whatever. But it kind of gets to you and you know you're neglecting them really because you just let them go off and do their own thing. So you think you can buy their love? I think that's what it is.

And so I bought an a spaniel top. A spaniel. Yes, spaniel, you know, like the kids that liked it, the blue and white stripes appeal to them. Oh, the the football team. Espanyol. What did I say? Espanyol. It's all for a dog. I bought them in Spaniol. Hey, before we go any further, I think we should alert the boys and girls attention to the live shows that we're doing in about three weeks.

Three weeks, Ty. Is it, is it about we less than that. We're doing Brighton on the 18th of July. We're doing Bristol on the 19th. Not many tickets left for that one. Lester on the, you know, I've got them digital. Well, whatever we're doing them. Brighton, Bristol, Lester. That is the 21st. I mean, let's be honest.

Let's, let's be proud of what I should be honest. No, no, let's be honest and say, we've done about 12 of these already. Yeah. And it's an incredibly funny shot with it. It's a cracking show, yeah. I mean, it's, you know, if you miss it, it's up to you. It's up to you.

You're an asshole if you miss it. It's such a good show. It's so awesome. 15 quid. So that's just a reiterate that's bright and Bristol and Leicester Middle of July go to our flettigormince.com for more info In Sunderland and I've been wanting to ask this for ages

Do you actually have flying birds or is it just mainly like like the flying ants and wasps? That's sort of stuff Do you actually get birds their they're feathered birds? What do you mean by birds? Feathered, you know, like, I don't know, I'm about to look in your first, you don't get them there. I'm not sure what you mean. You know, it's spuggies and grows. We have a lot of smog.

Yeah. So there might be up there, I don't know. Yeah, you just never look up, do you? No. Like, you're just looking down. Always. Looking down on the ground, try to say some of those famous crunchy,

sunda-land ants that you can capture and sprinkle on your chicken dip. Okay. Yeah. Is that the way? Well look you'll want a name. I need a name you know. I'm nothing without a name so you can of course be Ronnie up dogs. Okay. Right. But would you like to be Jackie potatoes? It's a bit of a twist on Roney Art though, isn't it? Well, it's Jackie Petters, it stands on its own. It sounds a bit like Jackie Petters, don't it? Oh, it's nice. It's nice to think of, I'm not keen though.

It sounds like Art, it's Andrew. Yeah, but hear me out, you say you're not keen. But he got his name because when he lamps you, you go down like a sack of spuds, he's a deck collector. Right. Just, you're interested? Not really.

Okay. Well, what do you, A.E.s, hear something that I thought would be funny, so I wrote it down and I've forgotten to delete it. Right? For fuck it. It's so good. What goes best with a jacket potato?

Shoes per street? Yeah. Trauser gammon? Yeah, you know, I should have crossed it out and I've been brave enough to say it. Leslie Collins, you could be Leslie Collins. Now he's 65. Yeah. Lives in a bungalow. He's a U-Kipper. Have you just got these out of the phone book this week? No, he's a U-K kipper? Got a really well fed lawn. Yeah, it's got two solar panels, right? One of those machines in his garage that shagged you. Is it so hard? And he's slowly going insane. So that's Leslie Collins. He's more appealing than Jackie Potatoes. Okay, but you're not you're know with me Andy, there'll be a third.

There's always a third one. And Eric comes. Eric comes. Tips muk-vity. Right. Okay. It's a bit like John McCryllick. Right. Right. In that he stinks of digestive biscuits.

That's intolerable. Right. Taurable man. Yeah. He's a sales rep for a tour of the Sewit Company. Right. So this feels more like my remit Tits movie the tits movie a lot to text mug Vippy. Yeah, it's big. Vity is then. Okay. Thank you. Good Can I just then reestablish your credentials as the memory man as we've been aware for quite a while now? Do you think I'm scared of that?

Maybe I might be scared of this one. I think we're all ready. Yeah, Bob. Do you remember the name of the first person to spread butter on a wheat abyss? Yes. Oh, you didn't even need the clue? No, I know that. You know about that one, yeah.

Merry man. Thank you very much. The memory man. You know about what? Yeah. M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M Is there anywhere in Sunderland? Right, you could buy a luxury item such as a knife and a fork, or a towel, or an ornament, or do the shops there just sell buckets. Oh, gosh, that's all I'm going to see. Yeah, oh, gosh. You've got an hour, gosh. Yeah, there's two hour, gosh, us. Oh, guy, is that the plural of hour, gosh? I always used to think it was amusing to pretend some of the Greek islands were

Argos, Tescos. There is another one by Carrey Membrane, another Supermarket. You probably should have deleted that one as well. In your fungalo Andrew, how do you get rid of the famous Sunderland ants? Once destroyed, do you dry them and sprinkle them on your chicken dip as well? I've mentioned that already but it's a direct question to you. Oh God, I used I usually spray them with what's that stuff called? Ant killer. No, no the cheapest stuff. Ant Hammers, tiny little Ant Hammers. Oh God, air, airwik. You spray them with fucking airwik. Air spray. Air spray. That airwik. You spread them with fucking airwik. Airspree. Airspree.

That, airwik. I was almost going to... I was not that fit on that. And that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, house, no. I had them in me, um, conservative. Technically actually not an injury. Oh, technically an injury. Okay, lovely. Um, and a week it was like a cloud of them. And we had ant hammers.

Did you have your oranges, oranges in the orange? Not what an orangey is. Hmm. I don't know what an orangey is, but I know what it isn't. But you know what you are. Final question from the wife. I already, by the it orangey is but I know what it isn't. But you know what you had. Final question from the wife. I've already, by the way, you were in a rugby kit in honor of the Lions, so you're big on the rugga, are you? No, the rugga. Yeah. It could be a rugga bugger if you like. Do you like saying all the dirty

songs and that's the and shout at the losses? Yeah. Do you mind if we, you know, get your head in this out for the lads? All of that. I throw them me paint up in the air and I catch some of it. Sometimes I'm not asked if it hits the floor. Lovely rugby. Do you sometimes go to a rugby disco, say at the rugby club and wear a keel to that poor girl? And dance on the table. That's off. And then throw up in the car park. Yeah, rugby, rugby, rugby. And I'm a fight with my brother. Yeah. Hey listen, final question question I'm being rude to him. Why are you really? Is it true that if you go to the butchers in Sunderland and ask for dog bones that's exactly what you

get. Wands of a dog. Just ask us question. I don't know. I've never analysed the dog bones. And I don't ask. You always have something so low price, you never ask there where it comes from. Like it's in a hot dog, so you don't know that, is there? Oh, I think we do. I don't think we do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do.

We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. We do. I did not dog, an arsenal stadium, emirates stadium, yeah good, but all it indifferent,

it was the worst octog, whatever, what it was like, was like, you've had a few, I've fucking avan, they, what it was like, like it drew you in, cause the size of it, obviously, but it was like, can you imagine a balloon that was the shape of a octog, yeah, you blew it up, and you filled it just with water and then bit into it. Terrible it was. I was there in a box, right?

In a cardboard box? No, in, you know, that box. An executive area? Yeah, a box. Yeah. Matt Lucas at the box there when you see the more dropping. Yeah, definitely. I mean, who else have you met? I don't feel I'm names dropping when I say Matt Lucas, do you know what I mean? By my standards, you are? Uh, suppose. Who's your most famous mate up there? Do you know the bloke who runs the bookies or? Jimmy Neil. Do you know Jimmy Neil? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've seen him on the telly. I've come to stand it. I went from meet him with Jimmy now once in a route tiny little office in Soho, yeah. Right, tiny little office. Yeah,

tiny is a big fella as well. I was going to say, yeah. It massive. Did he book the room specifically that size to intimidate you? Well, funnily enough, I do wonder about that and because it was really small, right? A manger was sat one side. One end, I sat a cat, remember the table. And he wanted us to write a sitcom for him about Adrian's wall, yeah? Right. But as soon as we sat down,

he put his feet up on the table, right? With his long, jolly leg. Dominate in the space. And these brogues that he had on, and but size 14, some it. I thought you only took 10. You're only took 10 front, you know, I mean what, 18 inches in front of us. Yeah, and it was, I don't know what would you cut like in timidate brok, dominant in the room, yeah, brok, brok, ambition. Yeah, it's all we could say was

the bottom of his feet. Had he drawn faces on them? We had no luck. It said you, shit. We have to look. It's sent you. You shit. One, anyway, look. I've finished my wife's question. Well, I've got some questions from my kids, but before we do that, can we have a little music a little bit? Because I'm sorry to announce that I've been in the studio again.

Great. And I've got another saint, Andy. This one is about Fyke Tan, so I'll just play it for you. Check out, it could come in a bottle, it could come in a spray You just smash it all over, I'm so gone on your way Check out, 10 hundred foot long, there's my new real feel So your skin is all blunt and you're behind the wheel Check out, it's nearly mine so you walk But behind the view, flip-tops! Needy minds with jukebox, glory can they be right? All the outs of things these guys will watch the movie, my gosh, right?

But come on, you're so awesome! Flip-tops! But maybe, don't thinking that, Bob? You know, I like the end line very much in that book. It's too long. I think we can safely say that I've done it again. Well, you think that's the first, well, whatever you want to call it. Well, I don't know what the end game is with your

sparse, Germanic, electro, tails and people. It's purely about making money. How are you going to make money out of that? Well, I could sell them on iTunes, I could. Oh, you could sell them, but the key is, I don't know, back in. Oh, I get some kind of deal with the fake tan company,

getting advert campaign out of it. Oh, yeah, tell you what, I'm up here, you at the stop fucking doing them. If there are no face-to-face questions from me kids, right? We quit, we quit, we kids have done questions for you this week. All right. I'm not nearing them because of privacy reasons. They're called, I presume, because you're from the northeast, they're called Calum and Conner. Well they are actually, yeah. Right, it's from Calum. Where do you see yourself in five years time Bob dead or in jail again?

Good question, Column. Good question. I've only been in jail once and that was for smashing a long-dreat window of pieces. Really? Yeah. Well, because Column said he said, as Bob been in jail before and I said, I don't think he has, but he was working under the assumption you'll go to jail at some point in the next five years and get released and then end up back in there again. I mean, I think five years is a very good choice by a column because I think if you're a betting man for any of the betting sites,

party power, three, six, fives, or like sponsor three in the separate subject and give them all if you like. Oh, it's so easy. Nothing. Right, so I think five years might be, might be fervor for when I drop, so I'm going to set a column as I see myself deceased.

Okay, sad answer, but you know, honest, second one, this one's from Connor. Is the son our friend or our enemy? The son in the sky. The son in the sky, not the newspaper. Are your kids doing some fucking course at school on environmentalism or something? Conor's three. Right, well, the start, young daughter of these environmentalists. It's quite a deep, it's quite a deep thing, I think. If you think about it, is the sun our friend or our enemy? Right, I'm having to think

about this, which is dead time, but you've thrown, you've thrown me a bit with that. The sun, I love the sun, so he's my friend, I know he's got a dangerous sight in the women all that. Yeah, but you see it gets your friend. Like the lassies are drawn to joy Essex. Yeah, not joy Essex, the bad lads. Yeah. I'm drawn to the sun in a similar way. You know they eventually will destroy and eventually you cannot love an Essex. But you have such a good time. They both worked on this one, Conor and Column. Bob are you aware that 10 L.A.D. pads are now available for men as well?

Or do you just still use a pamper's new one, Nappy, that you've cut enough? Well Andrew, you've told me, I wonder what you've been sent to kids because you know I have a L.A.K.S. And I use tennis for a while but they've got this sticky stuff on them that gets caught and you're on I use this a bit of a mess so all I do is is I roll up a great big piece of toilet roll yeah and plus bit between me um cheeks yeah pull me on these up and get on with me like and then I say it cares me it falls out at the wrong time yeah you trying to avoid sudden movements I imagine well I'm just

I'm just stood there maybe it Oxford debate with Lady Caroline backster about the euro or whatever yeah and a fucking toilet roll with Todd on it dropped out of the bucket. You're in your argument to shoot, I'll... No, it's at that point I say, I rest my case as a point. Do you know what I mean? Fair enough. But Steve McLaren. Yeah? Yeah, I'm sleeping up too.

Well, Steve's looking for a job, of course. After doing his destroying exit at Derby. He's not going too hard though, I imagine. Well, he's in sit-in-pray. He's in my life. He's sitting, well, exactly sit-in-pray, because he got a fortune from Derby. And mainly, he thinks, I tell you what, I'm going to spend some quality time with Casper. Right. He did get an interview for the Sunland job.

Sunland job. Sunland job for the Sunland job. Sunland job. Sunland job for the Sunland job. It's what he called Ellie Shorts. That's right. Well, Ellis, he wanted to meet him up in... He was an American, do you? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, okay.

And he owns the Carnegie Club, Slaagor Castle. It's where Madonna and Shane Richie got married. Yep. And he wants to meet him up there, so he'll take him up by helicopter. Right. But he thinks, no, I've promised this time for Casper, Casper loves Thomas the Tank Engine and that, you know what I mean.

So he said, I'm going to get the sleeper up there. It might be a real treat for Casper. So he puts Casper in his travel bag, few things to keep Casper occupied, you know his chalks, his little bath, bath plug that he really likes, his Boeing Boeing button, his little trends. And he's got some little pictures, you know, of this stock, defensive midfield, midfielders, you know, wheel and birds, they Charlie Adam, yeah, really likes them. They get to King's

Cross. Steve goes to the machine where you get your ticket and whilst he's doing that, a Welsh bloat comes up to him and says, hello, Mr McClaren, I think a pigeon feather has fallen from the roof onto your front of your head in his boy-o. Oh, don't be dafty a Roddrick of Plunk as well. That's me hair Island! Once was a manager had a wonderful idea To design a carpet a long other plans would fear He sketched around his hairline with reddish ginger ink Then stood on his head on the carpet how by the sink Just a hairline tile The capital by the sink, just a hell island tile, a hell island tile. It's me, hell island, you want that.

So, blog asks him for a selfie, Steve Oblijers. A blog says, where you're off, do then lovely in it, by all. So I'm getting the sleeper to Scotland. That's funny where to say it. Yeah, well, they're followed and laugh anyway. He says, the sleeper leaves from Houston. You're in the wrong station. Oh, God, he thinks.

He's right. Oh, Raspberry says, Steve. Oh, Raspberry's come on Casper. Picks up his bag, but it's really light. Casper isn't in it. Casper. Casper, you're Rodney. Casper, picks up his bag, but it's really light. Casper isn't in it. Casper, Casper you're Rodney. Casper, where are you? He's really worried. It's specifically, he's really worried that he's gone to the platform nine and a half

and he's on the train to Hogwarts. That's a worry. That would be a worry, wouldn't it? So he runs around asking people. I've seen Casper, oh God Casper, he's a big yellow snake. Have you seen him. Then he goes to the ticket inspector by the platform. Oh, can you help me? I've lost me snake Casper. Well, the guards, the ticket inspector as well. She's well. He says, now calm down, sir.

Did you know you've got a chicken hatching out of the top of your head? Didn't boy or there's lovely. He says, I'll fuck off your cheek. It's a then his attention is drawn by a whistle being blown on the platform to Welsh train guard all aboard all aboard theirs lovely and it by all and just as he blows his whistle he catches a glimpse of a very large lady board in the train wearing a pair of stone moss jeans from the TU collection at Sandsbury's a pair of stone moss jeans from the TU collection at Sandsbury's, a pair of Dunlop trainers from Sports Direct and a purple anorak from Verry.co.wk. In her hand is a black bin liner and there's a trail of like some liquid coming from it.

The door slams and she goes in. Could it be Andy? I'm very much thinking, would be, is it the fact that? Has to be surely. Oh God, well Steve can't take a chance. So he headbutts the ticket collector in his tits, right? And runs onto the platform. The guard blows his whistle just to Steve, turns the handle on the first class carriage

and jumps aboard, he just made it. Good one, Steve. Well, it's all quiet, they know like it is in first class carriages. Yeah, well, I've never been in a month. No, but if you've had to walk through, it's all quite. That's very intimidating, isn't it? Usually we'll big knobs are in there.

Yeah. And Tommy Welsh, the posh labra. Yeah, you know. Greg Wallace, the vegetable stall owner. Yeah. In his black pole on there. He's watching Logan. The werewolf film on his Macsurfus pro. Oh, that's nice, isn't it? Then he sees Pius Morgan, you know the gossip columnist?

Yes. And he's got his shirt open and he's using, you know, like those screenwiper things that you scrape ice off, the screen screen, he's using one of them and he's scraping all the residue and oils off his chest and his stomach, yeah. And then he like flicks it into a little tin bucket he's got on the table in front of him. Is it a bit like this sort of residue you have left in a pan after Friday night? It's honestly, that's a very good and solidify. Yeah, and he's just scraping, he flicks it in this bucket and then from time to time he takes a sip of this little bucket, no. And every cyclist, he says, hello, Steven, come and join me. And he says, do you think I'm great, Steve?

And then he slurps from his little pot. And Steve thinks he's better. So yes, he says, oh, yes, P.S. And then P.S. says, do you think girls are thick and that boy is a better than girls? And then he slurps from his bucket. And Steve says, well, you know, I'll pay you self, I think, no, they're different. You all eat and think to say. And then he says, would you like to mold your fingers into my big fat lady's ass and see

if you can find a prize? He says, I'm all right. I've lost my snake, Casper. I'd better go look for him. Snake, you say, tell him I'd love a chat if you find him. Anyway, he then downs what's left in the bucket. Shouts over a Greg. Hey, Greg, come here.

What do you think of women? Do you think they're thick? So Steve's glad to get out of there, you know? And he goes into the next carriage. And he thinks he can hear a Boeing Boeing sound, you know, a Casper might impress his Boeing Boeing, but yeah, then he sees the Dunlop train has stretched out into the gang where there she is. It's a fat lassie thinks. He runs up, but he gets a shock. It's a handy. It's the big lass from Tauy and she's eating crispy fried duck. Lots of it. That must be

what was dripping out on the bag. Right. And the little dog under the turban is the one with the Boeing Boeing button who's pressing the Boeing Boeing button and he says, excuse me madam, where's this train going? She says, Stoke. He says, Stoke, fucking Stork, are you kidding me stork, stork has got a fucking train station he said he's not lacking to swear and then he has a voice saying hello to him it's the bloke who took the selfie and he shows him, Steve the photo, he's proud of it and Steve notice is there's a train leaving just behind him on the photo and looking out at the back window is Casper? Right, do you get it? You know, when he took the selfie, right, the train leaving, she's cross, yeah.

He says, oh my throppin'y bits, Steve. Do you know where that train's going? And the man says, in Venice, in it. In Venice, in Scotland. Scotland. Scotland has got train stations. Oh, Casper my love. What am I going to do? Is this in the part one? That's the end. We're going to find out. Can I just say it before you ask? That will remind me quite a lot of an episode of Inside Number nine. Really? It made you think? Yeah. Not many laughs. But it made you think, I've got you. Well, I was hoping you might say it was a bit like a brief encounter, but no, no, nothing. I'll tell you what though, that platform, platform nine and a half.

No, no. I often stand and watch the queue and the crowds getting the photos taken and trying on the scarf. You you know I always think, imagine all the fucking germs on that scarf. Oh, there's just one scarf there. There's one scarf, they don't bring their own scarf, there's one. It's a Griffo scarf, I don't know what it is, but it's be covering it in fucking germs and scurries.

Do you watch Harry Potter? I've never seen any of them now. It's typical of you, that he's a cynical old fucker. Well, no, no, I won't watch it. I don't watch Star Wars either. I've watched Star Wars, I have watched Harry no, no I won't watch it. I don't watch Star Wars either. I've watched Star Wars. I have watched Harry Potter because we daughter watched them. I've got a daughter as well as Connor and the other.

So you wouldn't sit with your daughter and watch Harry Potter? No she wouldn't let me. I like your daughter. But me son. Connor, or what was the other one? Callum. Callum, yeah. One of them will be getting into it soon,

so I watch them then. Well I hope you will. I will. I do have a very poor world at Watford. I won't watch Lord of the Rings. No, I won't watch such shows. You see, it's fucking obvious what you're going to like. It's so fucking obvious. But I bet you'll go and see that you think like,

Ironic and you'd go and see it. Probably something like. No, you might, you probably go, picks our cartoons and say to be honest with you, it's fucking funnier than half the comedies they put out there Yeah, you would say that I said they're already miserable now pixart comedy's yeah, I've stopped going shite, aren't there? Well, I went to see a movie like the other week. I'm gonna worry. I think I won't worry

Wonder Woman wonder Woman. I enjoyed Wonder Woman. I want to say that. It's like a feminist thing in it. It's sort of thing. I mean, I thought the film was shit, but she was gorgeous. Yeah. I'm not going to say any more. Can we have a quick game of them? Yes or no behind the door? Oh, yeah.

Can you love this one? No, I've tweaked it and put it behind the door. Right, imagine that door there. Yeah, not that one, the one next to it. Imagine behind the door. Is that your cat's present? Not that one next to it right imagine behind that you catch crazy not that one yeah catch it on in it that one there that one there yeah that one behind that door not that one there's lords of reggae reggae yeah would you go in that reggae sunspush behind that just a bit yeah just a big lord of it big pile a pile of reggae slab of reggae. No, I have to walk for that. Two walk for that.

Okay. Second one, yes or no behind the door, an actual dinosaur that's been created by scientists, but it's got the voice of Alan Carr off the telly. No, I'm alright. You're okay with that. It's not, I'm not a lot of people would like that. You're not for me. You're not for me.

That's fine. I'm not judging you third one Alan Brazil Yes, I'm already interested you're already in it hang on hang on naked on all fours. Yeah, getting his undercarriage scrub by a midget with a wire brush I don't like the midget side of things andro in generally don't like midgets No, I don't like out of that area dwarfs and midgets. No. Yeah, that's what you would be David Lynch sort of character, won't you? Um, did you watch the last episode of Twin Peaks? No, I didn't. I didn't watch any of them. I'm going to watch the last one. Well, I didn't know you had watched any of them. Yeah, but it's just a funny question like I'm just I come into like say it's a dinner party with Barry, home on and that's like, oh, did you watch the last episode of Peaky Blinders?

Yeah. It was a bit weird and I was just, did you watch Peaky Blinders? If it was a particularly outstanding episode, you might. So you couldn't say it was great. So you said, did you watch the Euro-Millions draw last night? Is it a surreal metaphor? That's something. It was just, it was like Wonder Woman.

Yeah, Wonder Woman, I was a shit movie shoe, God, just last year. Yeah, God, just last year. Keep me as a puppet. At the beginning when they were all there, all the women and the only, God, yeah, I couldn't stand up on them. No, but I'm glad they've made some of it a bit of a famous strong female laterals. I've enjoyed it immensely. I think that's important.

I thought Robin, the one from, I should call Robin Smith or something, the one from the tunnel or the NMS. Anywhere she would, but she would go artists. Yeah. Did she play two characters? I don't think so, they look very similar. I'm, I just got cross-eyed with it. What, watching the feminist movies? Yeah, I took your breath away. It did, yeah. Just health. I went in a wednesday morning at 10 o'clock by myself. Yeah, so I just Embrace all the feminism. Okay, not get put off. So, um, are we done with your Yes, norov? Yeah, that's the end of it. Because I don't think I sat as fatigued

I said I will go in. Right? Because I want to say Alan Brazil. Yeah, right? The magnificence of it, right? But I'm telling you for now I'd probably kick the door off in its tits. And I don't even think you're allowed to use those words that we've just used, Andrew. Oh um um Barry Homo here. Um hey, have you seen those new hive thermostats? You can, as it were, literally, control your home from phone. I can create a hotspot for my Japanese ha-ha tree to flourish. It's such a talking point. Is the ha-ha tree on wheels? Is it remote controlled? No, it's on a silver salver. Hey, I've got solar panels, you know, send the money back to the grid. I'm literally taking the direct piss out of the energy

industry, you know what I mean? Yeah, I've got that self-cleaning glass in my windows. The molecular structure is so complex, the water is actually repelled, you know, like a magnet. Right. I'm literally bringing the window cleaning industry to its fucking knees. I swear But fucking time God a dinner party tonight with Jeff in Erica. We're having Yeah, we're gonna dress a bit like Abigail's part Ironically yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no one dies Hey, I've got a wireless camera

giving me a 24-hour feed direct to my smartphone of the exterior of my home I'm literally the police's number one asset on my state YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH Have they told you that? I think you're new certificate? They don't fucking need to It's the looks they give me

YAH YAH You know what? I was a Glastonbury last week, but for the hallway again, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the whole, the, you've ever been. I've been once, yeah. It's, it's, it's amazing, isn't it? It's amazing. It was amazing for me, before you get into the rub of it. I've got two Glastonbury stories and I'll be very quick with them. I've played five aside, celebrity five aside, and I was in team versus the cult, the rock band, the cult. Right. And what's a guitarist called? Billy Duffy. Billy Duffy. I took him out after three minutes. You can check this

with your friend, James Brown, because he was playing for the cult, actually. I took him out and got sent off. Right. Got sent off. I was very drunk and I went under the stands and I woke up about two hours later with a dog dirt literally like about a millimeter from the nose. So I'll never forget waking up and seeing that there. Second glass and brief story is I was backstaged you know with all the bands and that. And what are one band, I'll tell you though, beautiful stuff. Right. One band, then, mentalists.

Yeah. And they didn't like it. Like, I didn't like the other band. Didn't, then they didn't like the other band. So they said, what other band? I'm not saying the name of the band. So he had a baseball ball. Yeah. And he said, Bob, you go and stand in front of their table where they're drinking and now I'll throw this baseball back.

I don't know, I'll have the separate table like it's like a carbon dioxide area. He says pretend you're gonna catch it but I'm just gonna, anyways up. Yeah, you went to Glashburg. I've got a football story as well, a bit similar to your cult one. I was playing football at the Kidd School Summer Fair last week and yeah, I'd pop back from Glashburg. Right, for a couple of hours. Yeah, for the Gortler School Summer Fair.

And this is like 10-year-old kid playing a Kicksist. Yeah, pretty much. I was in goal and he came out as a took a shot as hard as you fucking like from about four feet away, writing them he gots. And you've seen me gots the quite substantial, but it hurt. The ball just disappeared anyway. Yeah, just got submerged and it went and I just pushed it out again. I think you got trapped.

It's just by your mosses. Yeah, it was kind of like that. I just went roiking on them after that. Did you? For the entire, yeah. Did you know? It took him out like Billy Duffy. And again, once when I was in Port Adventura

when the kids were really little, I saw a kid picking on my kid. Yeah. So I went over and I saw uptitiously put my full wear onto his foot. I really heard it, but you get so annoyed, you're picking on the little boy. Well, this is what I got me picked on, he picked on Connor or Callum before that. So I just thought, you know, it's just, it's your dream for Callum and Callum, Connor and Callum that they get on Jordy Shaw?

It's gone out when I know eventually every every Jordy kid gets on there. Yeah, it won't just be Jordy Shaw. It'll be Jordy. Class five. Anyway, you were at class. Yeah, I was at class and I mean only went because Jordy Corbin was on obviously though. It's big speech, but the rest of it was brilliant. I was Right down the front for Corbin, I'd meet tight red body stockman on again but I was wearing a big red arrow on me forehead, straight out, pointing forwards to represent the future. That under during the Corbin. That was the future. Yeah, exactly. I hope he'd noticed me, maybe he didn't be sure. Anywhere, he came on, he did some stuff about the power. Yeah, some stuff about how he wants to bring back wooden railway sleepers by 2030.

He likes the power, doesn't he? He loves the power. Yeah, and then for a bit of light relief after that, he did war of the worlds. Oh, and it's entirely none of the whole thing. Oh, shit, I didn't show that. I'm sorry. With Jeff Wien and his rock orchestra. Yeah.

So that was good. So anyway, afterwards, I was wondering around the festival site. I mean I mean you know you've been, did you actually go into the site or were you backstage all the time? No I was on the site, yeah. I was in the moment, oh it's got everything, while you were at M.O.T's, Mexican food, hand jobs, Oh, and fix skills, mate. This is it, no it's all. They're just three of the things I experienced when I was at Glastonbury. Anyway I popped into the finance time job, while he cars having an M.O is it. No, they're just three of the things I experienced when I was at Glastonbury. Anyway, I popped into the finance. So you had your while you cars, I've no no more to it. No, different, different things. It's not that small. Yeah, so I popped into the finance tent for an investment health check with a fellow from the HSBC. And I was

just heading back to me, you know You know what a yurt is? It's like a conical tent, a big tent, yeah. My back there for a nap. And a couple of druids came up to us, just in brown robes with the hoods over their faces. And stopped right in front of me, stopped me in my tracks really, would have let me past.

And one of them says, Soon you, Hold on. I, carbon. soon you, hold on. All right, Corbin, yeah. Soon you down the front there in your body stocking, you are the embodiment of both festival culture and socialism and I'd like to offer you a job. Shit, is warm at the me now? Yeah, it's usually tricks, but like shit doesn't it?

So then before I had the chance to see anything I replied he just put his fingers up, and he lips, and he says, don't speak or I fucking fire you. Okay. I didn't even got the job, he's gonna fire me already. So he holds up a steel tier measure, and he says, I'm taking this thing over next year. Got to rebrand it as Justin Brie.

Right. I needed to go around and measure up. Meet me back here in three hours with all the measurements. You may now speak, but I'll leave you have something sensible to say. So I thought, well, what sort of stuff you can have on during Jesten Bridge, as is it going to be even better than this just during the round, to the Hall Festival. So the course will, I'm taking an old school back to how it used to be, when I first came here in 1970.

Spooky tooth will be headlined in the pyramid stage with Gong doing the honors on the other stage. That's it, no other groups. Let's dancing, more thinking. Quite radical. Yeah. Compared to what it's like now, because you know, they have like 20 bands on now. Yeah. So I said, what about on the non music element the Tim and the gesture and at the circus tent it was just to me right. He says, there'll be a milking stool for people to sit on and an artificial cow with a map of the world across its side. Revolutions will be able to simulate the milking of mother earth and consider what we're doing to the planet. As a vegan alternative to that, there'll be a piece of path in shooting for the vegans

to sit on facing some trees. All right. He was getting agitated. Excited, passionate, you could say. Yeah. Oh and Billy Bragg's in charge of the toilets. He's what he'd expect, isn't it, you know. And then all the droid at this point, lures his hood. It's Billy Bragg. Billy Bragg. A Bragg, he prods me in the chest and he says, have you ever done a shit down an old boy? You don't look the type? I don't know, I haven't to be fair,

I've never shut down a whole. Anyway, just then there's this weird noise and this fella on a jetpack comes down out the sky. Yeah. Mike Leverus. Oh, the actual Mike Leverus. King of Glaston, but I'm defeated. King of Glaston, right? He says, it. I'm defeated. King of Glastonbury.

He says, what's all this about, and Corbin? Boy, boys, tell me, you're planning to take over and boy, Glastonbury. That's right, Evis. It's the will of the people. Evis says, you can't do that. It's my fucking festival, you fucking fucker. Corbin says, now, now, Evis saysvis has no need for any unpleasantness, there'll still be a role for you at my new look, Justin Brie. In its prison, Bragg sees him!

Billy Bragg pulls out a tearser, tears his micolavus, drags his limp twitching body off behind a tent somewhere, and then Corbin just pushes the stale measuring tape into me hard, into mehound and says, go and get measuring, this stupid festival isn't going to tent somewhere and then Corbin just pushes the stale measuring tape into me hard into me hand and says go and get measuring this stupid festival isn't going to improve itself and I had to go off and measure Glastonbury right well wow it's a lot to take in I know it's a lot to take in I think he's become a little bit more cocky since the election that he lost. Like he might even consider, he might even consider being honest. You know, well, that's something that he'll do for. He'll make some of it more for, isn't it? I tell you what, Andrew, that is quite a lot to take in that.

I can't just say that I thought it was a little bit like the first star was, which I suppose you've not fucking seen. No, I have seen it many times here. With the shrouded bit, with the walktop. These are not the droids. Exactly. And a little bit of violence as well. So well done on that.

Thank you for that. I'm just back from holiday. And really? Are you? Yes. Have you been Bob? I've been to the Forty Village in Sardinia. Oh!

Now that is, I've got to be honest, village in Sardinia. Oh, now that is, I've gotta be honest, it is posh posh posh, right? It's like the poshest butlins on earth. Did you say anyone famous when you were there? It's full of celebrities. It's the first time I went there, I didn't go in like the celebrity end of it. The first time I went there, like the football,

the football courses for the kids were being run by, get this, did you a drogber? Not honestly and Perlo Wow, so it's right up there next big hell they get free others. That's full of footballers Mainly Italian ones, but as you'll see there's some British there because this Andrew is an episode of gangs of the P L of gangs of the E-P-L.

The real posh bit as it's on Swim and Pull and a little private beach and that's where I'm staying. You see, it's always the footballers are there and lots of like Russian mafia types just ignoring the kids, you know. And it's, it's, you like, it sounds like my kids school somewhere fair. Well, it's a bit like poor adventurer, but it just really pops all like, morning everywhere. When you have your buffet, you go to a poor adventurer, where you go, it's a little bit weird. That's around that weird, yeah.

And it's buffet, isn't it? Yeah, only can eat, yeah, only can eat. But where you go,'s like no gets some chips. I'm just saying it's no gets some chips no wrong one. No, but no, but that's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah, but of this place genuinely it's like lobsters snorkels, langoustines, fanace, jambons, cheeses, wines, much is it, you know, it's an piano player playing and he stops, as you reach one of the lobsters, the music stops. And then as you put it on your plate, it starts up again. Yeah, so anyway, so it's, I'm just saying it's posh posh posh, you know what I mean. Anyway, my kids go straight off to water sports area like they do when I go to the VIP pool, yeah. One end, there's a little kiosk telling drinks,

little cute, all the worldy little kiosk telling drinks and little ice creams, little snacks and I hear a very familiar voice. Quite loud. It's Harry Kane. Well that's very upsetting. I very much wanted a lemon and lime sprite. And you tell me you just saw the last one.

I came here to relax and recuperate, sorry, relax and recuperate and to be honest I feel quite frustrated and down in the dumps. He's carrying his wearing his spurs kit right with the white naval captains hat. It's just fun. It's the lads on holiday, isn't it? Debbie Ali walks in with his failure for Oshas hate t-irt. He's got these candy stripes shorts with LED lights on into the hem. Bright orange flip flops with gold straps and an LED watch embedded in the sole. He's got a disco ball, baseball cap and a tiger skin manbag in

the shape of a pistol. So he's dressed up for his holiday right nice. Eric Dyer walks in, he's wearing a jumper and some slacks. So what was it? So Harry, just give me a tomato juice. I'm too jittery now to take on anything fizzy. Debbie says, what's the matter boss? You see him a bit down in the dumps and out of sorts like you was hurting. Erick says, yes you seem dejected like a grieving bull. It's nothing guys. Just someone got the last lemon and land pop. Let's not dwell on it. It's our holidays. Come on, let's start feeling some thoreshy's heat. So the three sun lounges just in front of me, right? I keep me first hidden by holding my hands and wrists in front of my face so they can't see me are you conspicuous? yeah Eric starts playing fucking fruit ninja or some such

shape on his phone I mean Harry takes a shirt off I think oh they're gonna relax Debbie were you up some some cream on my back my mom said I have the type of skin that burns and some cream acts as a barrier to the very bad rays. Derby says, yes of course boss, sun sunburn can be very disagreeable, some people say it's worse than the skull from a hot tap which is very frightening and self-setting thought. So Derby starts applying the cream. Harry says, you will need to put plenty on my chin, it often juxtapes out from under

the shadow of my cap on the sunbrolley. Mum said that once when I was young, the tip of my chin actually set on fire. Which was very inconvenient. It was poking out of the sunroof. It was poking out of the sunroof on our car when I was asleep on the back seat. Derby says, that story has really rattled me. What a crummy thing to happen. To be honest Harry, your mum is not entirely innocent. What was she thinking ignoring you for so long that your chin set on fire?

Then they are a big splash and commotion in the pool. It's Santa Cazola doing a dive, Bunk. Hey guys, it's me, Santhi. Come on in, it's a pool party. I got lilos, inflator balls, drink holders, crazy fucking straws, beach balls. It's an unbelievable opportunity. Harry says, you're ignoring. He clearly knows nothing about pool safety.

And I can even see from here that his bronchosaurus ring is very overinflated. Debbie says, what an idiot, look at him splashing damp water. Does he not realize it has chlorine in it and that can cause irritation to the eyes which are up to a vital for your sight? Eric says, can I play with Suntie please? No you cannot young man, he's a picky goon and as such is the person the bull non-gratest. Eric says but Debbie no it's no but Eric have you not even seen the film sleeping with the enemy? Then Ari spots Phil Jones you know from Man United on his own at the other end of the pool and he's drinking a lemon and lime sprite and he beckons him over. Harry says,

Philip, would you like to play with Eric? Philip says, yes please. Eric, would you like to play with Philip? Yes please. Philip says to Eric, what game it was? What old does he speak? Oh Philip, yeah. It's Charlie will he was What game? Err, alright, do you? What game, what game at you, please? That's it. Fruit Ninja? Do you want to game? Yes, please.

So Debbie says, would you like to swap your green drink for a bright red super drink? Yes, please. Says Philip. Very well-mannered. Nice one, Debbie. That's some first. She's heat your floyd for sure.

So Ari gets his green drink because of condom. It's a superstar red drink. Yeah. And so Ari gets his green drink. So that's a nice story, isn't it? Yeah. Just saying, now it's on your little story. But where are finishes?

Well, there's a little poor script because Ari and Debbie went on the beach and left full and Eric by the pool. Right? Sante put Black Mamba in the tomato juice and Philip ended up in A&E. But Andy and this nice, Eric sat with him all night. That's lovely. Because I kind of think I've had an all of it. Yeah. It could be a bit intimidating. But that's a good denouement. Thank you very much. Did you think it was a bit like any film at all? I'm not even going to be specific. It was a little bit like sexy based.

Sexy based? It is though, isn't it? Yeah, it fucking is. Yeah. So, this is the swimming pool. As you're obviously a big chase in the TV industry, I also want to pitch you another show idea that I've got home from. It gets me development money out here. It's called Celebrity Pop-Up Animal Dentist. Celebrity pop-up animal dentists.

So you get two teams of celebs, right? And one team is humans, the do dentistry challenges on animals. Yeah. And the other animals will be unconscious obviously. And the other team is humans in animal costumes and they're do dentistry challenges on humans, right? Aberde dentistry show then really what? I'm a to dentistry is the best kind of dentistry I find I've seen our entertainment purpose I mean I'll at the heart of it there's something and I've got pop up in the title as well because

At the heart of it there's something and I've got pop up in the title as well because I'm thinking use your lot Paul Denan, a Tauy, a Chelsea, that cut off big brother, maybe Lionel Blair, Justin Lee Collins because he wouldn't need the costume it could just be a liar. Hey good one. What you reckon? Well I like the idea of amateur dentistry but I don't think it needs all the fr through around it and 80s. It's so much through through. I wonder if it's illegal Try and lose the pop up. I used to do dentistry on myself But lose the pop up lose the animal heads well if it's a leader call it amateur dentistry friendsy or something if there's a legal problem What could maybe do it see and that would that would enhance it like love Island

Yeah, all aboard and all that. Like the pirate radio ships of the 60s. And the cap, the presenter could be the captain with the captains out on and everything. Yeah, a big bull genus pants. Jimmy Carr. So that's Celebrity Pirate Animal Dentist. I'm going to ask you to come back and maybe do a sheet of airfoil. Get rid of the fru-fru though, yeah.

Right, thank you. Thanks Bob. Ding dong, landlord here. Hey, Sos renta, but I'm going to have to dig up the front garden. I need the topsoil for a camera my lord I'm laying in on with my daughter's pony. Ding dong, landlord here. I've had a complaint from a neighbor about the smell of feces coming from your house. I told them not to worry, it's just you shitting yourself about your enteriors.

Ding dong! Landlord here! I'm afraid you'll have to check in to be and be for a couple of nights. I need your house for the murder mystery dinner party. You see the murder takes place in a downtown shithole. So this is perfect. Ding Dong, landlord here, I'm expecting some posts from the council about upgrading the insulation on the house. I want you to open it, take a shit in the envelope, and post it to Finland. Ding Dong, landlord here, hey, Renta, I picked up this leaflet about assisted suicide, I thought you might be interested

Well, that's the landlord there Have you got a certificate story for us Bob? Yeah, I was well were plowing through everything when I was in South Africa You know, I was staying at what you might call a reserve, you know like a game reserve Yeah, so you have these separate little huts and a central building where to cook the food and a barn. So I got back from filming of really sweaty and tired, you know, but really hard work, proper graft here. And so I got me male, it's always, Andy's always ostrich out there, just cooking out with ostrich. Nice ostrich, it's alright, but a bit tough to wear there, cooked it, some potatoes and some sort of ratta-tui. And next to my actual, so I took it back to the hut, it was some potatoes and some sort of right of chewy. And next do my actual, so I took it back to the hut, it was too hot and I went back to me hut.

And next to it there was this like big tarpaulin on poles and there was some crates under it, it was like a temporary thing, not a building, you know. But I thought it might be a bit cooler than my hut, which was like a fucking oven, you know, but in the sun beating down it all day. When I said it was like an oven and it didn't have like an ignition button or shelves or anything All right, it's just we was really hot So I go to the shelter There's broken I infrican scene him so but I'm too embarrassed just to walk straight out So I sit down on the box and he comes up and he says

Which hut is your accommodation. No, that's absolutely wrong in it. It's that difficult. Which hut is your accommodation? Oh, which hut? No, I've absolutely wrong out loud. You've spoken it? She's that difficult. Which hut?

Which? No, we're gonna have to abandon it, I think. Sorry, sorry, right, I'll do a sky-stay. I'm gonna scot a song for Mr. Finish on Bob. Mary, yeah, here, I'll do a Scottish time. Oh, you got a Scottish song for us to finish on, Bob. Mary, here we go. Okay. Mary for Scyth was 19 years old and had just given birth to a baby daughter. The child was fathered by the lad.

For as with every girl on the island, she had spent the night of her 18th birthday in his arms. Mary had been excused duties for the first six months postpartum, but tomorrow she would return to Oat numbering duties and her daughter would be handed over to the Laird's fierce hand-made, Mistress Pancoh. Mary lived in the servitude of the Laird, and not wanting the same fate to befall her daughter was determined to escape to the mainland. She had during the previous week's delivery and an note to one of the mainland's stevidos requesting help.

Mulcrumb Cove, same time next week, he had mumbleed. The day arrived and Mary sat the top Mulcrumb Cove, baby Nams, thinking about how life might be on the mainland. She saw her self strolling around the local retail pack for stop-howphids, where she would get giddy laughing at the curious and outlandish in-car air freshness. In shapes and flavours she had never thought it necessary to imagine. Began and handrail, summer and turkey, nightfights, ton factory. Then over to cost a coffee for a hot chocolate and some Ooty porridge. The very purpleness of her surroundings caused her to flush with excitement. Removing her cardigan,

it would be plain for all to see that she had bluntly surplus debt to spare, an amount not to be measured in hands but in buckets or suspens. A handsome student would approach her and share her table, struggling to balance his iPad at the correct angle he would ask. A seawassie, I've damaged the wee hinge on my iPad holder and wondered if he could help. Ock that's a caution retell for the reckless, she would say. Would you like to balance it against my mug? I can provide extra ballast by placing the mug inside my porridge bowl. It's a fine idea lassie, but I couldn't help notice that you are very affluent of tit,

and if you're at the lean forward or the table slightly, it would provide a mattress of support from a pad. I am wealthy in the tit bank, he would say. But surely it's a bit forward if you'd ask for its expanse as a buttress. I would surely be justified in asking you for some form of payment in return. Maybe you would like to play a tune on my personal pipe, and even as he said it, as he felt his private hose swillig its the packet of halls menthol in his chinos pocket. A cherry rift such a plump up volyoday went to banger. A cherry rift such as plump up the volume of the day we went to banger. Then she was pulled from this revelry by the sound of her baby's tears. A glance at her a watch told the litmus time for her escape. Racing onto the beach she saw the small motor boat approach. She placed the babe inside the plastic panor she had recovered from the lamb litter

skater that fell down on the island many years ago. Then the boat was upon her and its navigator was near the stewardess she had spoken to but looked kind enough. What do you have in their lassie? Apart from about an acre or so of surplus but it's not but supplies for my journey oats, oat cakes, oats, and some oats you drink. I will you'll not be needing that lassie. He grabbed the paniers and threw them into the ocean. Then he turned around and took down his hood. Mary died in an instant at what she saw. For this was no amount, but the ledge giant attacker, Colock,

and on the reverse of its head was the face of Robert Peston, the face of Robert Peston. So that's it. I just wanted to say, Andy, that the bearbees now floating in the paniers so we can hope that maybe that little bearbe does make it to the mainland. Perhaps we'll find out next time. I'm not saying that. In the story, 16 years from now or something.

Yeah. Just a reminder, again, that we're on in Brighton Bristol and last at the end of the month. Go to Athleticorminns.com. Yes. It's so poor, isn't it? If we were in it, I think we would probably get from Rosetta and Milk.

It's the best comedy show currently. Every minute is, isn't it? Yeah, no bullshit. It is. No bullshit. So come along. Have a look. So thank you, Andy.

I've got a go. Get out of London and go and watch the reruns of the rugby. Love that. Oh, the rugby. Yeah, I can't get enough of the rugby. See ya. Say it, Bob. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,