Athletico Mince - Ep. 51 - Black Pudding To The Rescue

Episode Date: December 1, 2017

Loads of stuff in this comeback episode - EPL, Fake or Legit, South Africa, Alderman, Lenny Biscuits and more, more, more... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music You haunted or something and you do sound good afternoon Spooky this I don't know to react on this is why I knew broadcasting style. Are you gonna do it all through this? I may well do that. Well, that's shame that really is shame. Do you not think it could catch on? No, I don't Is it annoying in my catch on to advertise a like a powdered potato or something to give it a sort of grout you know, it's a weak thing in it Try sma Yeah, are powdered milk with your peas Yeah, it just might get to the kids Frighten the kids you draw the kids in they're drawn to it like a lower

Toe wants to hear and I come back and the twat. Yeah, well tell me what I'm we've been away too much I've been a fishing yeah, so I've been off fishing. Yeah. And I've got a terrible cold. I'm sorry to hear that. You've preempted the question that I was planning to ask you next. How is your health, Bob?

Really bad at the moment. Is it, Bob? Yeah, I've got some people call them colds, and that's safe, they're comfortable with that. That's fine. But I'm going to call this particular one. I'm going to say that I've got the Gregory, not the Jeffrey virus. Oh, that sounds... Is it Jeffrey with a GE or a GE?

It's a GE, like Jeffrey Boycott. We're at a very nasty Jeffrey of Roomba, for example. Oh, yeah. It's a... I wonder if I could do a Jeffrey Boycott? No, not... Prince Jeffrey, the Saudi prince, who had two super yachts. One was named Tits and the other one was named Tits too. Sorry for interrupting there. You were saying Jeffrey Boy is that a true story?

True story. And what was his name? Prince Jeffrey with a Jeeh. And was the Tits in English Tits or was it because it was a different language? So it was Tits towards. I think it was Tits, it was universal Tits, yeah was I think he it's Saudi I think that they'll speak a first matter of English among the the Royalty. There can be misunderstandings and I'm tomfowl with the names of boats you know me met Vic yeah boar boat and I yacht her boat and it was called Anca. I don't know if it was that Anca or Anca and some more local pull a W in front of me. So that was like dockside humour. Some chancer. I like army humour, you know very much so and I like key side humour.

Army or all of the military? No army humour. Just the army. The navy humour was a bit fruity for me It's a bit coarse isn't it? Yeah, yeah Air Force humour? Well they said there is no humour in the Air Force Because of the height I think it's height, yeah It's probably a tense trend in it You need to be concentrating on staying in the fucking air rather than cracking jokes

Now, Andrew, we're waffling on like a lot of podcasts do It seems to be working No, it's not working for the audience, I'm sure. I want to get more into a more funky, chic style, start by looking at some sounds from Sunderland. All right, here we go. These are sounds from a funeral in Sunderland. Just you know, like, fly in the wall. Yeah, a bit morbid, missing to the moaners

right so it's the first thing that I heard I was a reed prawn, it's very plike I'll miss the plumes used to make by the bins outside of Aster well I never know an amount of wood fits so many dogs in this promen still make it look effortless I would always bury your spare fifty p if you needed diapers or tabs for one nippers. We're gathered here today to remember Ken, the Sandeel Watson, can someone get that

ulcation out of the fucking font please. He leaves behind his beloved pitbull kegain and two nippers, Kalamam and column. Neither can be hated they're sadly because the boarded on the Ritalin so there's a little window yeah into a few Sunderland funeral offensive on two levels that Bob first level racism no there's something to pick that up right I think you find we are second level quirky looks but they're not a right I think you'll find we're a distinct second level yeah second level nobody yeah. Second level, nobody in Sunlund would have a dog called Kagan. Well, that would be a new castle thing.

All right, so I misheard that. Yeah, I misheard that. You definitely misheard that because you were definitely at a Sunlund funeral, weren't you? Yeah, it was probably Reagan because like, your Sunlund lads probably like it. What was Reagan? He was in...

Reagan was the swaney, right? The swaney, yeah. Well, yeah, that's where it's come from, in it. Well, you dug yourself out of that hole. Do you want to name? Do you want an answer? Have you got some choices for me? Well you could be Johnny Sweatshirt Parker.

Yeah, he sits at home all day watching Nickelodeon and eating chickpeas. Yeah. Right, has one toda day which he sells to the gypsies to use as screening, right? His famous Sweatshirt is brown with a picture of a potato on it. Okay. So that you imagine him with his sweatshirt. That's quite a flamboyant character.

Watching Nickelodeon. Mm-hmm. What about Gary Lighthouse? Oh, I like the surname. Well, ready. You're gonna like it even more when I say it. He works as a spy for vision express. I'll take it.

You know, do you wanna hear me out? Are you just taking it? I'll take it and give know, do you want to hear me out? Are you just taking it? I'm taking it, but you can give us the rest. So he goes into the spec serve as boots and all, and I'm checking out the style, and then the offers and that, you know. Loving it. He once punched a sparrow mid flight, yeah.

And had its stuffed minus its beak, right? He just stuck a little crab claw on the front of its face as big. So that's Gary Lighthouse's little thing. You're making a note of that, A&D. I'm googling how to change your name by D-Pull. And you change it too. Whatever it was, Gary, what?

Gary Lighthouse. Shakespeare. Gary Lighthouse. I've just filled in the form now. A&D. I've got a bit excited about this, because... It's been taken. That's been taken.

Yeah. Someone sent me, so I've bare with me. Somebody sent me, I'll find it here bare with me. Somebody sent me, they sat next to Barry Harmon around the train. And they sent me, will I be able to play it here? Oh, they've got a recording. They've recorded, he's on his phone in the tube. Go for it. Yeah, listen up see what you think Wow you sound like you're a devilance

It's a fabulous shop. I love the vibe in there an explosive color in the Habadash resection Yeah, you're in M&S Yeah, I love it. I love that store best she knows by mom and the self service tells her an ergonomic dreams I'm on the tube room traveling on the ground the great speed Yeah, listen gorgeous. I'm having a dinner party around with my next Thursday Who is this it's Barry? Very homeowner. We merit the conservatory in Viva Swindle,

Farron Sacks. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Dream T-Nose in the Ben Sherman. Class of the Gods. Yeah, yeah, not in all just the two of us, because Jasper and Kate have canceled. I've got this new slow cooker. Listen, it just sits on the worktop and works,

it's magic. The lamb comes out, the soft as bum fudge. Yeah, it just sits on the worktop and works. It's magic. The lamb comes out as soft as bum fudge All right, yeah, well, can you cancel that? I'm offering you heaven and you're seeing your mom in Devon That's a no brain really Okay, yeah, Charlie. I'm charred to much as gracias sir. Me. Thanks. Thank you. I'm in your story Classius means thank you. I'm in your story. Yeah. Yeah, see you So, right, you know, that sounds exactly like the actual Barry Hormon. Well, I have to leave it I think it probably is so thank you if anyone else comes across and send it in I'll use it very good I'm just kind of see you looking really swath I think the word is today

You've got you've got your tennis headband on there yeah your forehead and it's got, I am not Bjorn Borg. Well, yeah, that's the little joint. In case anyone thinks that you might be Bjorn Borg. Yeah, I don't really think people think I'm Bjorn Borg. Have you noticed it's leathered off? It is. It is.

It's a quirky Christmas here with that. It's kind of office human, you know? Yeah. Sacred Santa job, was it? Yeah, I'm just wearing it to keep me air peace on. It's working. Thank you. It's just slipping down over your eyes there.

I'll push it a little bit. Have you got any, because I've got a new feature. Do you want, have you got something you want to tell me about? I want to point out that I've forgotten your jumper, which you left behind at the last live show that we did. You have, yeah. I see if that jumper for you, I rescued it. Yeah. I didn't need to, but I did. No, you stole it and then you got a guilty conscience. Kind of like that we did. You have, yeah. I see if that jumped before, yeah, I rescued it. Yeah.

I didn't need to, but I did. No, you stole it and then you got a guilty conscience. Kind of like that. Yeah, but if anyone listening wants to come right in the mind and say, Bob's jump, I just dropped me a line on Twitter, but you're not a toucher. It's a two in it from Zenzbrie's, I think. I think it's an, I'll antic, it might be an M&S. Oh, that's a M&S, yeah.

Yeah. Not a bad jumper. It's seen better, dear. Yeah, it's a bit tight, roundly. You've had it for, what, good 15 year, I can do something It's seen better, dear. Yeah, it's a bit tight, Rummy goods. You've had it for, good 15 year, I can do something about it for you. How's your health?

Oh, man, I'm so bad at the moment. BELL RINGS Let me move on, Andrew, if you don't mind. Tantalize us with this new feature book. It's called Santa Cazalas Laughing in Poreum. Right? So that's interesting, isn't and a soft or flying star. Because santi-cazol is the little cute arsenal midfielder.

He is barrel-chested. Permanently injured. Permanently injured at the moment. Wishing well, we get to pass some. Oh, God we do, yeah. But so my elder son lives in Finnsbury, Parkwright, near the Arsenal ground. He's left home. Yeah.

Don't blame him. And he told me that Sandeid bought one of the shops under his block of flats, right? And it's called Sandeid's Laughing in Poryam. Right. It's one of those shops, you know him, Andy. This has a little bit of fancy dress, jokmasks and outfits, wrapping paper, spiritual shit, little toys, daft gifts. Do you know that sort of place?

Cleats, yeah. Well, it's on tells me Sandeid's usually working out on Thursdays. So I decided to pop down, see what's going on. Okay. You know, I'm always interested in this sort of thing. Well, I go in there, it's got old fashioned counter and there's Santa his head's just visible, poking up over the counter. Yeah. He says, hey, laughter, Seeker. Welcome to Santa's Laughing in Borium. Sorry about the gold. over the counter yeah he says hey laughter seeker welcome to santa is nothing in boredom sorry about the gold I got balloons mask fancy dress itchy dick pound paper plate rislas holopipe slinkies I got spice and black mumble if it's party time I love to party

I say oh thank you a little, Santi, no, do you mind if I just have a look round? I'm looking for something fun to get for me son. Your son, he like to laugh. I love to laugh. I love to laugh. Your son, he sounds like me. Always laughing.

You should try the joke section. That's the funniest section of a shop you'll ever see in the UK. It's got a lot section of a shop you'll ever see in the UK it's got a lot of things conducive to hysterics if that section don't make you laugh then truth is you don't love to laugh so I'll pretend to laugh a bit he's obviously really keen he's banging it isn't he so I go off and have a browse around but just then met it but also in, yeah. Um, Santa, hey Metip, you lunatic! Take those jockey eyes out!

They make you look seasick! Ah, only joking, just for laugh! I love to laugh! How can I help you Metip? Creature of the sea! Metip says Jack is right, London, I'm a member of the untalegal gunas What is German German like Jack Wilcher sent me no? Come on. I'll use what's German? This is this is Jack Wilcher sent me down for a packet of acid sugar I don't know what this is good. Can you help San T?

Of course I can help. It's crazy powder for party time and mind bend. You look like you live on it, Metip. I'm just saying that for a laugh. Metip says, you love to laugh. As you do 24-7, my wife says I even laugh in my sleep, but that's okay because she loves my laugh. My wife never laughs. Too busy listening to me laugh I expect.

Santa grabs a pack of acid sugar. It's one of these, you know, street, illegal, legal guys, yeah. He says, there you go, I need ID please. So Metip gets out his driving license and shows it to Santa. Here's some mistaken Metip. This idea appears to belong to a frog.

Cause the four, you know, he says, Ha ha, only four left. Did I do that? It's you I can tell from the gills. Ha ha. Why you not laugh, Metip. You not love to laugh? Since I, I, I'm not a frog, not an aquatic. I don't believe for one moment

that you thought there was the case. There is no laughter scenario here. You're right, Metip. You're a man of wisdom. Now get out of my fucking shop and tell Jack to come and fetch it himself. And he'd better have his laughter head on. So Metip leaves, you know. I select a scary, you know the scary ball, the old man masks. Yeah.

I walk to the counter wearing it because I wrecked Santa you like it for a laugh. So I go, stick them up and over the cash. Well, Santa picks up a baseball bat and knocks me out cold. Right. When I come around, Santa's there, he says, here's Sari made, I know you were attempting humor to encourage the laughter that I love, but that all is really such a prick. I got and had a bad mood and you took the consequence. I say, yeah, stick him up. Ha ha ha, as it were, you know, he says, ah, you love to laugh. You're like me. I love to laugh. That's 1999 for the mask. And I laugh like, but he doesn't, Andy.

So that's the debut of that feature. Yeah. Do you think that'll come back for another? I don't know. I don't know, Andrew. Andrew, I don't know. I didn't feel good when I was doing it. We could put a tour of what, maybe on Twitter

and say what the people think. Yeah, I suspect the worst. I've been working on a new laugh of the last couple of months. That's a year it. Ah! Oh, ah! Ah! Twitter and say what the people think yeah I suspect the worst I've been working on a new laugh Oh And so give us a sentence and then do it so I can judge it in context you give you a sentence Oh, you want me to admit me laugh. I mean you noticed I didn't use it during that last piece that you did Yeah, no you didn't do you but but Maybe if you see something funny throughout the podcast I'll I'd like to hear it. Yeah, no, you didn't, did you? But, but, maybe if you see something funny throughout the podcast, I'll, I'd like to hear it.

I'd like to hear it. Yeah, okay. Okay. And I've got some questions for you. But they're not from children or anybody out there from me. Yeah. And they're from the heart.

Yeah. Question one. It's been announced this week that bicycles are to be discontinued right do you have a favorite memory of riceicles Bob not particularly I'm very fond of them they're lovely and sweet have you had them in the last 20 years though I've the sugar it took the sugar about 20 years ago they're just a rice crisply tits up there are a rice crispy within

unpleasant aftertaste yeah I don't want to get all Michael McIntyre on it and all that But it's not the same sugar puffs. I'm how they are sugar puffs are all sweetness Can sugar puffs still alter the smell of your urine? I think they do yeah, they do still well That's what you're buying for it. Well, that's something yeah question two one egg or two Bob two two eggs Oh, all done a minute though. All done a minute. One egg, if it's fried, two eggs, if it's poached, a boiled sword, you're saying. Only one fried egg. And if I'm scrambling through, I'd never have two fried eggs. Which you know, yeah, I'm not a lunatic, Andrew. I do two fried eggs. And the final question I've got for you, an update on the state of your

tits in relation to your intake of IP, American IP, I think it was, wasn't it? Have you had the measures recently? I haven't had a measure recently. I've got a caliper though and I think I've probably, I have cut down a little bit. I'd say they've grown by two mm, that's millimeters. You came millimeters? You came millimeters, Yeah. Yeah. I only use them Now I don't use the euro That's that's that's in it. Oh, of course Brexit in it. That's it's two million about three months estimated Yeah, right. So it could be two millimeters either way. I couldn't it could be so you don't doubt the shunt

And so the honest show them are a shrunk So you love to yourself then yeah, I see how it works or something. So he loved it himself then. Yeah. Oh, I see how it works. Right now I'm currently enjoying what I'm like in the call shaving mania. It's basically anything I can get me hands on that's got a hair on it. I'm using a razor from Harries to shave it and make it as ball as I can. I'm on steroids, I'm on testosterone so I can grow B as fast as possible, just so I can share it off. Me and Taya Body is completely smooth at the minute because I'm just crazy for Harry's razor blades. And you can support our podcast, AthleticalMince by going to harrys.com slash Athletical and you can claim a trial, Harry set for 3.95. Now the Harry story is about two best friends, Jeff and Andy, who

have fed up with being overcharged for Rez's and what they did, they started the one Rez or company called Harry's 4 years ago and they've made shaving better for over 3 million guys in America. It's a mail order thing, a subscription thing and you can try it for just $3.95, you'll get a Rez a handle, a high performance Rez a head with 5, German engineered steel blades, That's not rubbish It's German engineered like you know like BMW or something and you get shaving gel and a travel blade cover All delivered to your door 11 pound 50 worth of value for just three pound 95 get on it now go to harrys.com slash Athletico and I'm off to go and shave a dog

It's time Andrew for gangs of the EPL! One up to Newcastle. Man United, Matt Shoev awakeweak and Manchester, about two weeks back, I had VIP tickets, parked up at Booth's near the BBC in Southwood, you know Booth's. I've heard of it but I've never visited one. It's like called The Wear Troos of the North, it's like, I'll mark it. It's fucking loving up there, don't they? Yeah, I love Westerners. So it's a nice shop show, I thought I'd go in and get a nice pie and a lump of pocket cheese, you know, for the match. Yeah. Right, so I got got the cheese counter and the block in front of me, big block front miss just saying, do you have a nice peel cheddar as peel as

keid blancheted, a pearless drinking milk in a snow storm? Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa It's Darryl, bruh. He's there, yeah. So I say hello, Darry. I see you buying a bit of cheese. That's a nice thing to purchase. He says, all right, Bob. Do you know how to handle a dangerous cheese? Carefully. Darryl. He says, what would you call a cheese shop in the Middle East? Cheeses and Nazareth. Darryl. And what cheese would you use to hide a small horse Mascarpone Right what I didn't want any more fucking cheese deal no, you know, I mean so I said me goodbyes And I just got a pack of cathedrals city chase slices. Do you know them? Oh, yeah?

So yes, you can get a fire pack a reliable chaser. Yeah, it's good tasty Everything a chase well So I got the hot pie counting. I have a lovely hot pie hot food counter Greg Wallace is there any Right must be doing some of the babe. He says I'll have a large stighting kidney you were but And blog says I'm so we're sold out there. They'll be about another 20 minutes. He's 20 minutes you click 20 minutes you cleaning it your breakfast or something Boyle done you Greg says that it's the blocks as we don't do build on the answer

He says I don't want boiled onions. I want a slighting kidney you to if it shit Block says we don't I've stayed in kidney at the moment and I think it was on well, it's staking kidney I wanted and right right so I just leave and pick up a pick or a black pudding, you know Just so I've got some pocket mate for the match and that you know what I mean Make me wear around to the ground, going to the mage, but it's blood. Yeah, that's boys, it's just blood in it.

It's animal byproduct. I just noticed that for us at TST and it's nice. I like it cold, and I digress there, sorry. So, I went to the VIP entrance, just got on my seat, match, and I was not on next to me, but just as the match starts, Peter beardsly sits down next to me, right? Yeah, I say, all right, Peter, a'r mys i'n ced. Mae'r maen nhw'n yw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'r maen nhw'n ymw'n ymw'r mi'n ymg i'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r llunio'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r y and fell in the next door, now I'm with cooking carp and I have a long thin purple vegetable that stinks to heaven.

Oh, fuck you, I said, hey, two one, two one, united I reckon. It doesn't switch, it doesn't, you know, bring him out of it though. Anyway, I'm shunny-tarty down in the, down the nefarrier and put me in the house, down the have a look, but I couldn't say anything, but I know I'll let the sad book from his gun Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithu'r i'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r i'r iwi'r i'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r iwi'r i'r iwi'r i'weithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r So I wanted to watch the match Andy. So I didn't enough of this so I went up the back bit and went beyond the glass

You know what I mean, so I could what was the decent game Afterwards I'm in the players lounge so as normal I get myself a pint I go at the toilet sit on the potting piece and quiet. No, I've hardly taken a sip When in walks filled Jones, right? I knew because I put me head over the top and I can see him He's folding up sheets of bog roll, right and then like flicking water at them, right and he's muttering to himself a'n yw, ac mae'n ydw'r ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r pwyb yn yw'r oeddol, o'r oeddol, o'r oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oedol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, oeddol, o an idea right you want to hear it he says yes please I say I've got these chase slices you know you could use them because they'd feel lovely and smooth and rewarding against his button like wouldn't know what you're reckon he's just thank you well at that moment Slatter and March is out of

his cubicle with his pants down right touches his toes with his beak. Write my in or still its sparkles and be careful, I'm just back from holiday. Well, Phil works aware is not, you know, carefully with the cheese slices. And Slatton seems really content, you know, that tiny little bit of blood coming off onto the cheese, but so far so good. Slatton says, or Zai is very rewarding.

Phil says, thank you. Suddenly, in walks, Gerger, Shelby, right? He's got a short black cap on and his dancing cane and his top hat, right? And now, how do I remember this way? It's very, it's like that. That, that, that, that. Very, very, very.

I smell the sweet nectar of an old blood dust. Move aside and let me quench my thirst. I'm not one to look at gift-horses in the face. And with that, Gerger clamps his mouth around his anus and starts to suck. I'm sorry! And ow, man! And lick it, right? Because of the chase.

No, he cuss of the blood oh yeah cuz it was slightly bleeding cuz he'd been on holiday you mentioned that yeah sorry so he says does make any better so slant says oh that's super feel I can tell you're getting into every knock on cranny it's like being on holiday again J.J, This drinks like a fine-eared sport, but I need a stunger flow. I didn't come to your country to dine on the dregs. And with that, is this too much?

I might disassociate myself from it at the end. Keep going though. And with this he sinks his teeth into Zlatan's, um, poet. Zlatan cries out with pain and rises up like a big bear, you know. But Jager's clamped on and won't let go. Zlatan thrashes about a bit, but he's eventually taken down to the floor.

You know like it's a bit like when like a lion takes down a buffalo, you know, just won't let go. Phil kicks out at Jager, but Jager grabs his leg and sinks his nails into Phil's calf. My father was an adult wolf and my mother was part hen. Feel the pain of their claws which I have inherited. Blood starts coming from Phil's calf. Phil says, do you some think Felly, dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n dwi'n d And then he sees the pudding. Give me that blood sausage, I must have it, it's doing my editing. And your whafting is making it more intense, leave it out. Is it from boots?

I say yeah, nice. What's the sell-by on it? Says five days away, mate. GJ gets up. I must have it. Give it to me and you may leave without consequence. I say a lot of these two will bleed in. I'm not leaving you to finish them off. They need a medic. Ah, a medic, you sound a right soft-cunt. Just give it me and be on my,

on your way, my short friend. So I think really quickly, right? Just as he's upon me, with Anne reaching out for the sausage. I throw it out of the window, right? And he throws himself out after it. The last I see is him gently floating down to the concourse with his care flapping and acting like wings, you know. So I help fill and slide and uptake them discreetly like to the medical room and hand them over to a nurse.

So did you think Andy that that story were a little bit like blue planet? Do you know what I mean with like the take down of slat and and and stuffing it that you weren't expecting to say that was quite intensely horrible? Yeah. Do you know what I did it given that feeling? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, you know, you know, that fellow Ben picks, does the animations for us? Yeah, I don't think we're going to do that one. Well, all right, fair enough. I was a slightly aware when I did it, but I didn't even know what to tell the story, but...

Why are you told it now? I might edit it out afterwards before I pull it out. Can we have a quick game of yes or no behind the door? Yeah, of course. I want you to imagine that not this door, but this studio, there's imaginary door next to it. Alright, I'll imagine it. This is behind that door, because I say there's been a glass in this door, it's clear that these things aren't behind that door, behind the imaginary door next to it.

Number one, James Corden, right, and he's tattooing a James Corden looker like, and it almost could be an identical twin. And he's putting a tattoo on his tit of James Corden. Yeah, does he just have the one tit, James? I just thought on one of his tit, the tit's bare blank at the minute. He's just a blank canvas, yeah. We could come back to that next window. So would you go through the door to watch that happening? No I don't want to breathe the same air as James Corden thank you. Right okay fair enough. Second one go through the door and owls the room is full of that dangerously full of owls right would you go through it to that? Wow the keyword here is danger-injurously full.

I'm going to decline and I'm really drawn to ours, but I have held an hour today. No, in the past three years, I only remember things for a period of three years. So it was within the past three years. And I was absolutely astonished by how sharp the talons are. So no, out of fear, I'm not going to go through. Was it, did you not have it on the leather? No, I handled it a handle bit better. It's quite extraordinary. Why did you do that? Why did you do that? Because I thought that my children would laugh and love me and you got ripped a shreds I think I'm not a very very sharp. So no thanks. No to that number three. Aka Billk a

Shit first and he's took his top. Yes, I'll go in there, thanks. One out of three again. Very good, thank you. It's fall. And you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon.

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Listen, I was in B&Q the other day. I went to the back where I kept the radio. This is the longest, biggest radio. I put it on me back and I stuck it all the way to the exit. When pasta peants, pasta wallpaper, pasta chops, pasta Christmas stuff, and I got all the way to the door and security fellow was staring at us thinking, what's going on here? He's walking over the radio and around his back!

No, just as I'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n rhani'n r I caught a Nickdett, what I did, and he took the 500 quid and more all happy to listen to this one. I've been in front of a sector me. All right, all the deer, I leared down on the table and the dog that is called dog the contractor. Right. He does the vasectomy in the sunland. He injects the medicine in like a sack with the anesthetic. And he was just about to get his layers of gun out. Do the business. I panicked. Panicked!

I jumped up and I ran out of there. We were chosen from young guys. He could have sniped it. Warred it. Oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that was nice, wasn't it? That was nice, wasn't it? What's nice, won't it? What's nice, won't it? Wife's questions, Andrew. Oh, okay, then go on. Andrew says the wife. Would you say your bungalow or fungalow is a groovy and chic place to be seen

or an environmental health black spot? Which one of them is it? I would say a bit of both. A little bit of both. And I don't say why those two need to be mutually exclusive. It be both and it is parts of it a chic yeah parts of it need condomin okay andy says the white you see and sound pretty thick and moronic did you pack in school after nursery no no I can't do it through to the 11 plus yeah No, I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on.

I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on.

I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on.

I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. I've continued on. For your Christmas dinner, do you share your luncheon meat block like a turkey or just plonk it straight onto a pentin lid before serving? I'd just have it like on, I'd just jam a sword into it. Yeah, just, no, just, no on it. Yeah, absolutely. But raw from the, from the sword end.

Yeah, I don't think, I don't think raw is correct for a luncheon meat. Is it, you don't cook it, do you? Do you know? It's already cooked in here. Wait,? You don't cook it, do you? Do you know? It's already cooked in here. Wait, can cook it in fry or can? Oh, I like it. It cuts a very good pocket meat, luncheon meat.

Yeah, oh, it really is. Corn beef and all. Do the salad and booths. Booth's probably not sell luncheon meat because it's quite a little for sale, isn't it? BOOTHER BOOTHER BOOTHER BOOTHER Hey, I've seen the old them in Yundro. Oh, hi.

You're a little bit... I was a comfortable Ynandro. Oh, hi. You're only about as a comfortable segue. Well, smooth. I mean, in the light of that Zlatan nonsense, yeah, I'm a little bit wary of my stories, because, you know, it's getting a bit 18 certificate. Is this going to, our inus is going to feature heavily in this one as well? No, not that, not that, not that. Although there is a South African coming up.

Well, he emailed me and yet he asked me to go out and stocked him for a charity in this one as well. Not that, not that, not that. Although there is a South African coming up. Well he emailed me and he asked me to go out and stock him for a charity auction. He's always doing that. Yeah. He was raising money for the Daff kids. It was mainly, he was trying to buy some like, like a soft maze, like a state, I don't understand it, and he was safe to make, which so they could wander about in, right, and safely practice their spitting. Yeah. So I think, well, it must be some of this needed and it was at this posh-your-telling Eagles cliff, like a big old sort of mannerized. A contradiction in terms. No, Eagles clips quite nice, and these, yeah. I've been through the transition and I wouldn't go on. Is that where I wouldn't get off for it? Well, you might be missing out there.

It's a nice, nice neck of the woods. It's like, and it's an old man else. It's called the Green Man So-called because reputedly, it was horted by a ghost, some it. It's better use a special one, is knackers. This ghost is knackers is really sagged, like about a foot and a half. Oh, about a foot and a half.

And he could swing them round apparently, like, you know, like a Chinese weapon. Yeah. Oh, anyway, that's just it. But, so I get there, sundown, about 7 p.m. Alderman and Minibus is there, Parked Up Town clocks, Jags there, Biffy Clara's Campavan. So, once I'm inside, I get in there,

I think I'm gonna say everyone, and as you can't see anywhere, all Ring the Bell at Reception door one comes. Right? So, I hear a little noise down the corridor, like talking just off reception. So I walk down there and I come to the door and I could hear like lower voices, chit-chat with chit-chat like that. So I knocked, no response. So I just politely and slowly open the door and there was no one in there that someone just let the radio on, right? So all it was.

So I turned it off and in the silence, I could hear like sort of footsteps on the ceiling above me. Well it sounded, footsteps are something being moved. So I went up the rear staircase and walked along the hall to the room. I thought was above the radio room, right? Are you okay if I call that the radio room, Andy?

I'm not entirely comfortable with it. I told you, I told you. I told you. I can adapt to it. And I knocked under the door, no reply again, so I was getting politely I slowly walk in and I saw a wardrobe door just closing, cornering my eye.

I think of someone's I'm not laughing at, probably biffier or whatever, but so I walk over and open the wardrobe door door just closing, cornering my eye. I think of someone's I'm not laughing at, probably biffy or whatever, but so I walk over and open the wardrobe door. Nothing in there, I look down though, there's only thing in there as a scotch egg and next to it a dish of hot sauce. So that's nice, isn't it, and theyalizer then the radio goes back on in the radio room. Yeah, but it's loud at this time So I run back down the stairs But someone and they definitely because it wasn't there in the way up someone has put a slippy magazine You know magazines can be really slipping. Is that a euphemism for a dirty magazine? No, you know like just it could be okay

I'll know you know, they're very slippy. Oh, not like a bongo mago. No, no, no, that's you. That's coming to your mind. I thought it might have been one of them. I don't realize what it's like. So I go ask over knockers straight down the bottom. Slippy magazine.

Yeah. Next thing I know, I open my eyes and stare and down at me, leering above me at the town clock. He puts his mouth to my ay and he whispers, about time you took a fall, Robert. Ooh. Then I feel this scratching, like scratching on me bare chest.

Yeah, bare chest. I look down, it's biffy, and he's drawn the words failure and yurt, right? And he's doing a sketch of a lorry approaching Wallsall on our chest, right? I'm just, I'm so nuts, I'm just a... How did that manifest itself? How did you say that the lorry was approaching?

Oh, he's put, he's clever block of it. It was, it had the... Was it a map? No, it had the town sign. Ah, the lorry was approaching. And the lorry was approaching it. Tells a lovely story, just like that. Yeah. Can I have a roll? No. What's happening? I think to myself, I think I fell down some stairs.

Yes you did and sadly saw, did you fat friend? Says the cop town clerk. I turn my head and I say that in the twin bed next to me is the older man. Right? Biffy's drawn a helicopter on his chest approaching Peter Bra. Yeah, and he's been stripped down to his underpants as well. Olderman sees me. Robert, is that your Robert? I fell down the stairs Robert. I can hardly move Robert. Clark says, looks like I'll have to present the auction and pause for the four to graphs. It's such a shame. He don't mean that does he has been sarcastic, isn't he? Yeah, very much so. He definitely is. And he picks up

our clothes and he leaves the room with Biffy, right? So the old man says, what a bastard, that teddy is Robert. He's a rum-cove Robert, brimming with shit Robert. We've got to stop him Robert. Well, I get out of bed, but me knee-neely buckles it's really painful so I can only like a hop over to his bed. Yeah. And Andrew can I stop at this point? Why do you think it's stop Bob? I've just wondered if anything you think is going to happen what do you sense in anything

from the story or? There's a lot of clues that I think you've leared. Yeah. But at the minute they don't make a lot of sense. It's a bit like one of them questions on 3, 2, 1. OK. Well, it sounds like to up to now, the story sounds like utter gibberish.

Are you focusing? Is your mind something scratching away at the back of your mind about that hot sauce? No. No? OK, do your room. I thought you had your room. Yeah, flagged that up.

OK, well, let's find out. OK, carry on. So Oldman says, it's my left hip that hurts Robert Robert Massage it Robert use deep aggressive strokes Robert as if tenderizing a haunch of mutton So I start working on this hip long like hard strokes that I saw I go under his belly flap, right then round to his hip bone Just under just slightly under the worst of his undies. Yeah come on Robert You need to get lower Robert. Take me undies off so they are not a factor Robert. So I hop round to the end of the bed and I pull his undies off and throw them out of the window for the cats. As I do this, his sack is unleashed. And his I mean, and his balls dropped down to like just his knees basically.

Right. To his knees. And he can. Other balls big. They're trying to paint the picture here in my imagination. They obviously I know there's a lot of hang. Yeah. But I'd like to know are they engorged? A couple of eggs. Who? A couple of eggs. A couple of eggs. So, standard testicles, but just in a very loose, right down by his knee. Baggage, yeah. Right. And you can see I'm surprised. You're right, you're right.

You're a wee wee wee, Andrew. Don't panic because of me long Sakura, but. They got caught in a slit on a trampoline when I was off me tits on space in Malaga, but. So, that's out the blow, isn't it? I wasn't expecting that. So, he's obviously gone through the slits, he's jumped. Yeah.

Anyways, I keep working on his hip and it seems to work and the alderman is able to get up and walk with a bit of a limply and the obviously with his hip. Look Robert, Biffy has left his marker pens culling me in so I don't look naked Robert. So it's not a bad idea because of tuxedlaws. So our capent is flesh with the marker pen. He won't allow me a color in his downstairs,

so it would be inappropriate. So he just holds them in his hands in front of him, to keep them safe from his knees. So we make our way down to the radio room, where we can hear Biffey and the town clerk laughing and giggling in that, you know, well the old man bursts in, bollocks in his hand and they scream in horror. The vicar was there as well he fates, right, and Biffy in the town clerk right out of the room with the clerk shouting,

it's the green man and it's terrifying knackers! And you know Andy, it's right, he must have looked like him because I had used green marker pens. And of course he's reputed to haunt the, the green man, the green man. So there's that stuff. Yeah, that's what they've thought. So we laugh and have a cheeky hug, you know,

cause you're so chuffed. And when we hug, I can feel his balls actually, on my thighs. And you know what, yeah, I could swear that they're rotating internally and quite a fast speed. So we clean up with Belinda wipes, get dressed, the auctions are great success, but next day the local paper is full of pictures

of the town cloud, retelling the story of his encounter with the green man. So, you know, he got what he wanted really the town cloud is the truth of it. He's got his face and all and he's very devious, isn't he? Yeah. Did you think that that story was a little bit like the mask, you know, with Jim Carey, that film? Not really. It felt a little bit like an episode of Inside Number Nine. Oh, right. A little bit funnier. A little bit. The average one. Well, all right. It was all right, I suppose. MUSIC

Bob, I'm afraid to... I have to tell you this, but I've been in the recording studio and I've done all this stuff. No, but is it sex robots? Because that program was on the slide. Well, I thought I'd preempted that, didn't I? It's not. It's a gift buying guide in musical form and I'll just A 40 pound job on the Thibauden Starr and anything to do with this beard

Don't give shitty gifts this Christmas A 3D sculpture by Yorne Crab, an inflatable, emergent as some second half porn. Sust it for your tolerance that belongs to a quarry, and anything that describes us funky. Don't give shitty gifts, this Christmas. I repeat, don't give shitty gifts, this Christmas.

Unless it happens to be fuck off. Thumbs up or thumbs down for that? Well, I'm going to give it a middle thumb or a horizontal thumb because I did enjoy imagining what the item from the quarry could have been. And I always like the invention of a copper in the song. Very diplomatic. Did you like the sleigh bells as well? Yeah, I noticed them at the end, yeah, but I mean,

God, it's like drawn on, doesn't it, Andy? Yeah, yeah, that's my style. TV review wise, you know know I occasionally do it. You do? I watch Stranger Things, it's all right. It's all right. It's just all right, is it series 2 that's on now? I watch series 2, yeah. I just don't believe in the big medical institution

or whatever it is that's in the center of it also. Okay, but it's up to you. Anything else? Yeah, the sinner. I watched sinner. Yep. That's too much flashback. Flashbackery. Is it? And contraivance. So that would be that I know. Is it? Marks out a tenor, yes or no, thumbs up, thumbs down, John. I've got thumbs up, thumbs down from here. I watched Godless. Right. On Netflix. I'll give our big thumbs up. A big thumbs up is that series one? That's on series one, thoroughly enjoy it.

Lots of episodes, I'll just a few. I think there's eight. That's a decent amount. And it was smashing, smashing sure. It looks great. Big thumbs up there. Big thumbs up. HB your documentary on YouTube about Gypsy Rose,

Boo Shard. Who's that then? I don't want to give too much away. You need to watch this documentary fresh and innocent. Right. It's called Mommy's Dead and Dearest. It's the Gypsy Rose Bullshad story. Any hint is the host Gypsy Rose Bullshad? A singer and actress. A man or woman? An animal? A 20-2-year-old. Oh, that's, who knows? Ah, you're already given too much of a way.

Yeah, because you forced me to, I'm sorry. Thumbs up though, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ah, ah. Tin star. Tin star,

I've heard of that, Rod. Yeah. It's all right. It starts off very promising, and then turns to dog dirt. There's a lot of that about where I keep reading people on Twitter saying, oh, this is their best TV show ever. And then it gets something like episode nine,

they're like, fuck that. Yeah. And I use that as a guide to not watch these things. Well, I tell you what it's what it thumbs down. Well, I tell you what the reason I'm giving this big up to Godless is because it takes that trajectory, you know, like up, up, up, it gets better and better and better. And if you got to the end of the series, it's wonderful.

So there's no drop off like that. Once again, these TV reviews can I implore you to possibly give me a heads up and then we'll get more of a conversational style about it. Yeah, okay. I know you are right and they... I've said this to you about eight or nine times now. You absolutely right. And you refused to engage me. Well I'm not going to start. There was one house thinking of starting maybe.

Oh yeah I will do Andy. Let's not bother viewers with that. Dingong, landlord here. Sorry Renter, but I'm going to have to change the house name to shit farm. I think it's appropriate, see them as though you live like pigs. Do you get it? Dingong, landlord here, I'm cutting off the gas supply and you can change over to caligas. Much easier for you to kill yourself when your arrears just get too much to handle. Ding dong landlord here, high renter, your kids are gonna have to sleep under the old mattress in the garden this week. I need their room to store the neon lighting. I'm having a store around my daughter's new indoor pool.

That's the landlord, Andy. That's the landlord. Now we think the landlord might be the father of Barry. Yeah. Does that add up for you, does it? Yeah, like father, like son, you know. Paratwat. A, that's a bit on fair and Barry. Barry's a certain type, but he's a bit of a victim,

I think of his father's excesses. Do you reckon under the skin? Yeah, but I think deep down he's trying not to be his father, you know what I mean? I don't see him. Is he hurting? Deep down, is he hurting? I think he's hurting. I think he's hurting. Do you like, are you any interest in the South Africa? I'm not first. Well, what would you prefer?

I had a chance to try and be laugh out very much today. Oh, sorry, man. You can have a go. All right. Well, I was a day off in South Africa, right? Yep. And I wanted to go driving just by myself. You know, freedom in the open road and the beautiful go-away I want, spirit of adventure, that kind of thing.

But I've never driven on the right side of the road ever. So I asked the hotel to arrange for a cabbie who'd let me drive around for an hour or so so I can get in the groove you know I mean so this chapter and so he's got on the legend that's quite nice car and they my son's favorite car is the Honda he likes the on the yeah he has an inexplicable obsession with Honda's at the minute and this well this is a nice one that was their executive car is it don't make it anymore I'll tell him this nice one, it's not a very executive guy. Is it? It don't make it anymore. I'll tell him this story then.

So it's quite nice, we drive around for a bit and it's good fun, chaps names Kenneth and I've never met an unpleasant Kenneth, have you, Andy? Hmm, the jury was out on one Kenneth that I used to work with. I would have never met a boy. I always seemed alright to me. So, um, he's a nice, fella, you know. So, I said, why don't you stay with me for the morning? I'll buy you a slap up lunch at Le Colombe.

Right? Now that is a nice plate, one of the top 50 world andy. Is it? Yeah. Seventh in the world on TripAdvisor. In the world. Yeah. Connast's second best restaurant in Africa.

That's right, man. You're making a note of that. And very famous, funnily enough, for using tiger's milk in its cooking. Oh, I love a bit of tiger milk. Well, who knows? It's on the other side of like Terrible Mountain National Park about a three hour drive. So we get out of town. We're passing through this little township called Varati, it tells me to pull in this little ramshackle garage so he can fill up. It's the same system as you

care so it fills up and I go into the shop to pay. I get in there knowing about it first, but few shells, cells of groceries, I like to have a look around in them in a different country at the groceries. There's a freezer chest with ready mails in it and I pick up one out of interest it's got a handwritten label on it says meet Curry looks kind of oh maired you know what I mean sounds a bit drug just then Andy this is where all turns to shit as it always seems still there blo blood comes in from around the back. He's gone. He's gone, accent is on. So fucking hell. Here we go again.

So he says, put that fucking meat, cut it back in the freezer, you fat cunt. Ah! So, Andy, he's gone, so that's exactly what I do. You're gonna do as you told earlier. Pretty much. So he says, now take your trousers, often put these ladies tarts on.

I said, come on man, life doesn't have to be like this Jesus. Oh man, he said, don't give me the chitchat, you prick. Put this tiny count shaped hat on. So I put the tits in this tiny little hat on. And he says, do a lady dance and shitting your darts! Well I'm just about to drop some mud out when Kenneth comes in. Oh thank god I said this. This bloke's trying to make me do a dumb in me tights.

Well the man turns his axe towards Kenneth. Kenneth shouts at me, Get begging the fucking Honda! So I scarp around and just as I'm getting back into the car here a gunshot Kenneth comes out where we're going in his hand. He seems really calm. Yeah, so thanks Kenneth Do you think maybe he would have killed me after it's soon said out of dumb like? He says yeah, definitely he wanted your flesh to make more ready mealsals! Fucking gangbengaged! You got to love him! So like I said, Andy, I never met an unpleasant Kenneth and this one was even more than that.

He was a hero for me. He was. And he drove me all the way back to the hotel, even our shit in me tights. He could not. Did he let you sit in the front? No, I sat in the back. I did sit in the back. I don't have a towel or something. So what did you think of that story? hey I think that's one that we might get animated would like you deviled slat and story that you told before

Good afternoon my name is Don't Read! and I'm here at a Dioply bikeology what contestant is off the note is in a tiner and lay about Mr. Bob Maulma, good afternoon Bob. Hello Adam. And thanks for joining me all fake orange heat. Your play for charity I believe today

and your chosen charity is Cats with the Clap. That's right yes. Yes I believe there's a lot of that about these. That's because they don't use them little cat condoms Enough today dirty bastards. That's what they say done. Yeah, all right. Is that a game ghost Bob? I'm gonna give you three items into your hand today And I want you to examine them very carefully and tell me or they fake Really, shit here we go go with item number one.

It's an Emerald Wing. An Emerald Wing. There you go. That's from Turkey. Take a close look. Turkish Emerald Ring. A Turkish Emerald Ring. Put it on one of your fingers if you want to do that.

Now, I can see it. Have a close look at it. Now tell me, Bobby, is it FAKE? Holy shit. Well, I think it's legit. You think it, yeah. Have a close look at it. Now tell me Bob, is it fake? Oh, I think it's legit. Well, I think it's legit. You think it's legit, you know Bob Bob? I do, yeah. You think it's legit?

Congratulations Bob Bob, it is legit. I found it on the floor of a toilet in a trade station in his stample and it verified by the toilet attendant. It is legit, well done. Thank you. Second item, Bob. It's a Russian cross-axe at. Now, have a look.

Have a feel of it. Give it a stroke. Maybe try it on. Mind you little Bjorn Bogg. Ed Bann doesn't slip down there. That's very nice when you put it on. Very, very, that. Put it on.

Looks a bit loose around you. Little tiny peanut, Ed, there, Bob. It is a bit loose around you little tiny peanut at their bob It is a bit loose there. What do you reckon bob bob? What is it fake? Oh I don't know I think it's fake and they are. What do you think it's fake? Anybody taking it with? Or just a gap feel it's It's a good thing it looks a bit like fake fur like fun fur or something. Oh interesting well the fur like fun fur or something. Oh, interesting.

Well, the fur is legit. But if you just take a look inside at the lining, somebody, not me, somebody, a son words, King Cok, into the lining, in yellow thread. And that, thereby, renders it, frake. Well, no, it doesn't really. Now, just Bob, it's frake. It's got King Cok, son in it. It's frake., it doesn't really that does Bob. All right. It's fake. It's got King Cox on in it It's right. All right. I'm sorry. I'm looking out Bob Mortman

Your third and final item is a glass of both Lane, you row 1989 Take a sip drink it in Slippet sip it whatever you want to do, Bob Mollman, analyze it with your mind. I don't drink wine, Don, but... Is you fake? Whee-ee!

Oh, I'll say it's legit. It looks like nice red wine. You'll drink that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Have a look at the bottle. Look at the ingredients. Yeah. 55% rat blood. Oh right. I see yeah, and I think you'll find that given EU standards of wine It's fake. Yeah, sorry, Bob. You ain't one no prizes, but more and then poor cats again I'll be suffering a little bit longer

Thanks for playing along and I hope you've learned something that I even know you're terrible. Thank you from me. You're welcome, Bob, you're welcome. Mary McAuthley was 16 years old and thereby two years away from beginning in the service of the Laird. A carefully saw she'd often wander the island and search her sights to her left-hards' palettes. On one shot's adventure, she chanced

across a hole under her foot. On investigation, she realised it was wide enough for her to enter, and on such realisation, there was nothing to hold her back Unlearing herself into the hole she lost her grip and fell some 20 feet onto a soft landing of straw and feathers I can't do this Andy. I just can't do this any of you run out of steam I want to save it for the next one. Oh for the next time. Yeah. Is there anything topical in there? No, no box to it. I can't doical in there? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's fall and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon. Yes, we deliver those. Turtles?

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