Athletico Mince - Ep. 57 - Ping Ping!

Episode Date: April 13, 2018

We meet Mick McCarthy, receive a new message from Peter Beardsley, wonder about Squeeze and their junction, hear from Harry Kane, endure Andy's catchphrase comedy, return to the world of Mark Lawrenson and enjoy another song about Sunderland... as well as some other stuff Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Alright Andy. Hi your Bobby alright there. I'm alright you fresh off the train first class you say. I have, yeah I upgraded. Yeah. It was 15 quid to upgrade. Yeah. First class and that got me infinite coffee. Yeah. That's what they pitched it as. What a coffee, a drink of coffee, they never end. Well, yeah, you kept drinking it and I just kept looking in the cup and it was just still like three quarters full. But there didn't be a vat somewhere. Well, I think like a pipe was something in the bottom of it, but it just kept filling up. What in the bloat room behind the train? I don't know.

I fell on the bonnet. I don't know, but there was that. And a cook breakfast, which was cooked by James Martin, the TV chef. No, it wasn't. It's endorsed by him. It's good his name on it. Oh, no. So what did he add? What was the Flourish James added? You know, it's a tomato? No, everyone has a tomato.

What was the James thing? I don't know what he said. There was a black pudding, but I could have been anything. It might have been from, no, I don't want to say it. It's useful idiots like you that dislike these people. So you describe me as a useful idiot. Oh, yeah, look, yeah. You'd bathe to James Martin, breakfast this.

Well, yeah, well, hang on. Not only was I a useful idiot, I was also a trapped consumer, or whatever you call it, because there wasn't any alternatives. Do you like tin tomatoes or fresh tomatoes? Tin, the amount of tin plum tomatoes. I did a survey on Twitter, and it was quite close, that Brexit. Right. But it was a breakfast Brexit. Oh, actually, wasn't that close? No, I did two surveys. I did one. Do you have one tin or grilled fresh tomatoes? Yeah. And fresh tomatoes, one.

Right. And one nut? And the other one was beans on toast or beans near toast. Well, it's got to be beans on toast, doesn't it? I can't start. I mean, again, it's people having baby food. Yeah, if you serve them on the toast, right? Yeah. The toast gets incredibly soggy, you know? You might as well not bother toasting it. if you serve them on the toast, right? Yeah. The toast gets incredibly soggy, you know, like your matters won't bother toast, isn't it? If you serve it near,

you then put the top. You've got the option. I've put it on the toast. Well, you put the beans on the toast and you still got a reason to be crispy toast. Yeah, I support so. I think the tinned tomatoes thing felt like to me like it was a bit of a north-south split. what tin tin tomatoes one tin tomatoes tin to my tin to my lost really yeah do you like that pudding I do I didn't use to quite for a while when you're on do you have you do you have a cook

you do you have a cook for some no I never do one in the house I'll go like a morrisons I fucking one night or something. Yeah. Well, why wouldn't you? Why would you bother doing it yourself? I don't get one for one night. If you had one at home, would you have it on a plate or just straight off your lap? Stuff some kitchen paper. How's your health, Bob?

Not too good because I was in hospital last week. I was in a hospital these days having an operation. A personal one? Personal operation? But by personal, do you mean having mean, I'm in the region? Do you, they prepare to talk about it? Yeah, it was me shoulder, right? Um, and how did that go? I think it's gone all right, it's a bit painful now, but he said to me, you know, it will

be a bit painful for a period of time. Sure, but yeah, it's like, um, camera surgery, keel surgery, right? Right. You like the sounds of that. So did he just naturally do it through the door? It'll be more. Well, did you know what? When I was a kid and I found out that when you get your earpiece, they used an earpiece

and a gun. Now, I imagined that they would stand like 12 feet away and fire the earring in from a distance with a big and a gun because that's how guns work. Apparently not, they'd do it really close up about a foot away. I've had that I had that done. I had a little gold hoop put in my little hand that I've done bright and had the worst year of my life. And as a result of getting the hoop put in.

Yeah, and I thought to myself, this is brought me terrible luck this hoop. Yeah, yeah. So I throw it away, you know, I didn't, I stopped wearing it. And then maybe six months later, I found it again on the carpet, in the corner in my room.

And I put it on for that night out, you know, for a rocker building, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like me rocker building. It doesn't. And got me head kicked in that night. Oh. And the first punch was bang on me, yeah, where that is.

It was, yeah, it honestly was. So an additional blow because it hit the metal in it, just did it climb off the side of you. Well, I think it was just a power greater than either of us saying, no, you were right, Bob, don't wear that earring. It's funny, you should see that because I'm going to wear two hooply earrings on Sunday. Yeah. You see now I'm wearing a West Germany 1974 World Cup T-shirt. It's very nice, that's the end of you. Because it's two months to the World Cup and I'm wearing a piece of World Cup related clothing every day and now

until the start of the tournament. I've got some Mexican knickers for the moral. Lovely. And then Sunday I've got lined up, a couple of hooped gold earrings, like an Argentine beef salesman would wear. I don't know how that beef sales is associated with hooped hair.

I think they do. Do you know why I was getting it? That's why I'm wearing it? What's getting on my tits at the moment? What's up? It's people not being world cup aware so that like in the last week I've had an invite to something which I feel obliged to go to. Yeah.

It's on the first Saturday of the World Cup, three matches. Yeah. Me and Jim are doing a new series of big night out. Yeah. Got the studio dates through. Three World Cup dates. Well, I people just show a bit of awareness, because the terrible thing is you feel a bit of a twat

saying, I don't know, I want to watch the World Cup, but it's really important to me. When I had me heart operation, you know, you're not a hot operation, haven't you? Whenever I had my heart operation, and I was thinking, I am gone here. It was a daft in intensive care. It kept coming into me, man, I want to see that. It's really important. I mean, I want to I am gone here. It was a dafton intensive care. It kept coming in, I mean man, I want to see that.

It's really important. I mean, I want to see this world cup. Yeah, and the one after. I'd like to make it the one after. But I'm in pain for us for it. Keep going with these invites. Look, we've been waffling on, which we always thought. Are you going to ask me about my health?

I was your health, Andrew. You look shit. Gout and me lips rolled up last night. Yeah. So there's two double pronged attack there I think I think what it is I think it's the tit juice Being the spurs around me body because I haven't been even been milking myself often enough. I don't want you to You really probably like me to go. You promise me you'll take that out of this podcast. No

You've got a very thin top lip and a fat bottom lip because it's swollen up Oh, you'll say there say that's like swollen up What have you been sucking on I look like fucking Leslie Ash less of the effort in Jeff in I've got a new feature Handed start off and is it better than you Chris Evans? Oh, I've abandoned yeah, right and it's Mick McCarthy, right? Oh, yeah So oh yeah, you have to say so, Mick McCarthy's just coming in. Can I just see it? If Mick McCarthy does any shouting, can you just move your head away? Yeah, so you need to ask him, all right Mick how are you doing?

Right, yeah. And then the next one is anyone in particular. Right, and the next one, anyone you're all care with. Right, okay. So what are they, Andrew? How are you Mick how are you doing? Anyone in particular, anyone you're all care with? Yeah, thank you. Right. So oh, oh, is this coming in? It's MacArthur MacArthur. All right, Maco, you're doing once that to you

You're busted if you must know I've fed up of federal of bastards Anyone in particular? Well, you're a bastard Roy Keid's a bastard, but at least he knows he's a bastard. Birds aperture to waffles. Not a person, but still bastards. People who wear lots, bastards. In all the way, what's a bastard? Beard grooming, the work of a bastard. Bosh, guffy shops shops full of bastards, Ipswich fans of bastards, knowledge fans of bastards, footballers, all of them, biggest

packet bastards have ever come across, that brought next year by Mortimer, turquoise busted. Oh, I forgot what I was saying. Anyone you're okay with? Anyone you're okay with, Mick? Sinita She's not a bastard the words are out midweek. That's it the rest of you's a bastard Thanks, Nick

I've got your one name and off here, right? Okay Ken T. Turtles. Oh, what's the T for you ask? Putting your golf ball on I said, but that is only jokes. That's just ruffle generation. Yeah, laughful catapult. The T is for torches. It's your base gross. Cress in his skin folds and has his boop a number tattooed on his Douglas. Or you can be runny up dog. I'm going to stick around your dog because I don't think you've put enough effort into that. Okay. Ken fella. There we go.

Have you got any, any, any sun-related songs this week? Can we get them out of the way now? Yeah. Yeah, you went out of the way. Yeah, please. You're hitting the nerve with it. I feel a bit run about them actually. Are you starting to, is it starting to hit home that you're just,

are you basically a racist? Well, I really love them all faced. Hi. I've got family from Sunland. It's got a lot of gauntlet. I've got family from Sunland. I've never ever been to be alone with family from South Shales.

Yeah. And you just condemn them. Well, so what I've done is, I've made the target, not as much specifically Sunland, but more you. Be specifically. Oh well that's all right I'm fine well then. I'll just get the song up Andrew the music up go on then. So here we go. Andy is from Sunderland so he lives on chicken dippers. He feeds them to his alsacian and he feeds them to his nippers. He lives in a rented bungalow with fridges on the lawn

He steals next door's electric and downloads farmers porn Sunderland is a fucking nightmare the streets are heaped high with Johnny's and dog dirt With Johnny's and dog dirt Sunderland there's a significant shit Oh there's dogs in prams And you're in the food malls And he goes out dogging with his doll me a winner flask He never gets any takers in his Lee Katamol mask When Andy is up the aster

He watches like a hawk, waiting for the staff to put reductions on the park. Sunderland's a fucking nightmare, the lass is stride round like the prawns in district nine. Sunderland's a significant shit hole with donkeys running wild And Bunting made from Bargross Bunting made from Bargross That's highly offensive to you, to me personally And to the people of Sonland, because it wasn't just the end of May was it it was a little bit but quite a lot of it was

was what you normally do which is to cast a gate of the people of Sonland what I've done yeah I've come up with a widget which randomly chooses new stories from Sonland Echo okay they have tried to prove together that it's not all bad up there so here we go first one we are counting down to a stunning 2018 Sonlandull ships festival I say we got the Tull ships coming in July so stick that up your pipe is another one redevelopment of Sunderland railway station could start in 2019 Could could start so that's something positive another one

could start. Could start. So that's something positive. Another one. Tooth decay in Sundlein's five-year-olds almost the whole national average. Oh there we are. That's a bit of a difference. So it's mixed, mixed bag there. I wonder what the reason is for that dental decay. I wonder if it could be blood drain. Hmm. Do you know what to mean? Yeah. Hey Bob, do you reckon squ squares are still up the junction? Oh, here we go. I mean, that was 1979, wasn't it? There's probably been significant development in the area. And I'm assuming it was London, so there's probably

been some gentrification. And there might have been price out of the area. That junction might be a mini-roundabout now. Might have been closed off to Throetram. No, I see the people who are squares with that. Could have been protested, you know, are they still up the junction? What do you mean?

Do you think they're trapped in a junction? Do you think it's some sort of black mirror episode? I don't know. Jesus. That's what the song was all about, wasn't it? So I just wouldn't have lived here and had any information. No, they're not.

They're not. They're not. I'll just write that down. MUSIC Harry Kerns made aman sent it to me. Oh I see. Do I need it? Oh big news this week as well. That Gowl he was trying to clear.

Yeah. When he got it in the end. He did get it. Yeah and he's very happy about that. Oh Gowl then. Let's have you stay. Yes I just have to find it. Press the button and that.

And remember his voice. Hello it's Harry Kairn here. Boss of the White Hearts. Now there has been a lot of stuffy buffing about the Gowl askord. a'r ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ymdyn ym'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch ywch yw'n gweithio'r ymwch ywch y of the ball increased threefold, thus propelling the ball past the keeper and into the net. The goal is therefore, righteously mine, it's not my fault that the cameras and rulemakers haven't caught up with the patented technology of my chin, trade my, my dick chin limited. I swear on Debbie Alley going blind through a parasite ingestion that I am telling the truth and nothing but the truth, PS don't pass to Vadi. Thanks for your attention.

This has all been very frustrating and has left me in, right down in the dump. Goodbye! MUSIC Comedy catchphrase is Bob. Yeah. Everyone loves catchphrase comedy, don't they? You wouldn't let it lie. That's sort of shit.

We really want to see those things. Oh, that crop. Yeah, I've worked on some. I want to introduce them and let you decide if you think they're any good or not. Here's the first one John, where's your shots John? Where's your shot? Where's your shot? Short shots Yeah, no, all right. It's the other one I like that one, but I'm not keen on that one. I like that dead one again dead well I like that one, but I'm not keen on that one. I like that dead one again. I like that one, but I'm not keen on that one That is excellent. And it is me last one for now. Is that my wine?

Is that my wine? Hmm, I don't like the voice. I think this if that was in there like a middle-class sitcom I would work but that character you were playing he wouldn wouldn't be. Because what he was doing was wining a bit and it was kind of like two main and double main and a wining. I could change it. Do the dev volumes want to go on arcade? I like that one. Well, I'm not keen on that one.

That's very good. That's the best of the three. Definitely, yeah. I'm going to keep you dropping them in. And in fact, I can actually say, I like that one. Ha ha. But I'm not keen on those two. I haven't got a bit de la gala.

That's a bit, yeah. A bit, um, Phil Jones. I like that one. Ha! But I'm not keen on those two. I think I got a bit de la gala. It's a bit, yeah. A bit, um, Phil Jones. It's fall. And you can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no.

You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup and maple lattes? Yes. We can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See you at Pradeetails.

Know that I, Bob. I've knit down in the house to give you an update on all things are going and all that and everything is built for and it's on the way. So I'm just sat on the lower wall, round the back of the shop side. I've got me puffer puffer jacket on because all the zonish I mean it's still a bit chilly and me puffer puffer jacket was described by the retailer as a wind-puffer and suitable for static staring in a winter environment. I mean in a chicken wrap, from the one stop store I love chicken wrap me you know, good basic example of the day, nice soft a'r gweithio'r rhaid o'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r

gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaith Trought his bob the white threw me out the house this morning, you know I was staring out the bedroom window mainly examining the Albanian cell and ex-doze garden. He's put the gas barbeque on his patio deck and you know your footnotes what he's going to blew up on that. I've heard the Albanians like the cook of lamb guts and chickpeas, you know. I've looked through his bins once and I couldn't see on the eggshells like so I don't wreck any boilers or poachies, you know I like us luck. Suddenly anyway the wife says. What are you staring at you little fucking creep?

You blocking me lying cast in the shadow or the hooms under the fucking hammer. So I said sorry about blocking the night lighting on and sorry about casting the shadow of your ex-laping program. I was just having a nice day while I waited for you to finish your boilies. Well that's your state here fucking dial. I it, you're fucking dialed. I'm not gonna be fucking finishing them. What's the mean criteria for a decent fucking boiler? Well, the white patch should be thermally and the yellow patch should be running low. Never mind, Rully, there should be fucking Rully!

Like Futshaas, along with life cream or the shit that comes out of many fucking k-ebs look at these the like fucking animals sorry love i'll go and do you some fresh ones well she stares at me for 30 seconds you know she's like i'm just a nation-wide advert and then she says don't even fucking bother Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r g He'd pull the jacket I've got and the breast pocket may have a zip and toes-eyed pockets that don't have a zip but have a pressed foot to fit the It's got a concealed hood in the collar that is accessed by a zip by a zip. There's a dress ring on the waist, you know, and it's got a couple of toggles on it, that I like putting in my mouth. I'd be getting back now, but I'll do a few jokes, I'll make a joke, but like, I'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi'n gweithio'r ymwch chi' The clown turned up there at the work and his first day and he got sucked in the circus.

He's so into fun fair distance. I burnt my wire and peaked the last night. I must use a lower setting. I must use a lower setting. I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a shit zoog. One piece of beer please. One piece of beer please. One piece of beer please. One piece of beer please.

One piece of beer please. You'll have to you Bob and you will. You'll have to you Bob and you will. You'll have to you. So I didn't sound. He's had a rollercoaster from the Wife like I mean. Oh, I can't hear you. She's a brute, isn't she?

Yeah, I can't hear you. But she wants her eggs down in the worst. She wants them. Well, I mean, and in many ways, that's fair. It's life, I had porch eggs for me, tail, last night, Bob. Yeah. Couple of porch eggs. Did you use porches, or is it a little...

No, I've seen that. Did them in the pan of water? I created the world pearl effect with the fog. Very good. It could be again, but if any, go in as well. Yeah. I did them right. Do you have your scene porches, the little packets you get,

that you have the egg in, too? No. What are those from like, big and in to? No, I don't know. What are those from that big an ammo, something? I don't know, I could be being them, yeah. Wipes questions interested. I was interested in all the porches, but I love to invest together for myself. Yeah, go on, Wipes questions, go on. Hello Andrew, have you got any clothing, delicate or classy enough to be dry clean only

God I've got I've got I've got a I've got a suit Okay, where'd you get that from Burton as the as the suit? No, you look at see if you've looked me first you don't but you didn't get How much was it suit from asda for the whole thing. Yeah. 55. Good. Not bad, the do big, big, big size West for you. And you know, it's not just like

slim ones for the young ones and that. Well, it's Mazda of course they do. They get it for the more generously proportioned fella. So you go, honestly, you've just been used like a tool, so you walk in Wazda. You're used for legit, you walk in the Wazda, you see, you just been used like a tool, so you walk into a wester. You walk into a wester, you see the sign that says full English 1.99. You lob it down your fat neck, then go to the soup department where it says, right next to, yeah, soots for fat lads, 55 quid. There's a restaurant there. It's not a restaurant, is it? Is it a counter?

It's a cafe. It's not a restaurant. Is that the other way around? Does dry cleaning in Sondland mean just laying the garment on top of your Alsacean's canal and beating it with a fish slice? Yes. OK.

I thought I'd just purely get it out of the way. I thought so. I thought so. Hey, Andy, what's the Sondland they're seeing like? Is it fast-moving? Is it fast moving? Is this another question? Yeah, right.

I haven't got a clue, I don't Vip. Yeah? You do. You don't with it now. Lovely, this is heavy cigar flavor. Do you suggest I take it off? Well, I look cool though, no? Do you know what I mean?

Does somebody you want to ask me, Andrew? I've got some questions from me Quads. Oh, go on then. Jack, Jeff, and Jic. Bob, do you reckon you are taller than Stalin or shorter than Stalin or the same height as Stalin? Our best guess is that you are 5'2". 5'7.5". You're not fucking him. I am. You know what it's told us, mate? I'm taller than you, sir. You're just a fucking ball. Go koff.

Taller than Stalin or shorter than Stalin. I think I'm a steer. I think I'm taller than Stalin. Stalin was five-four, so correct. Thank you. Bob, do you reckon you were taller than Hitler or shorter than Hitler or the CM Heiter's Hitler? I think I'm shorter than Hitler.

Oh, have you researched this? No, I'm just a... I think he's probably like five, nine. Oh, have you researched this? No, I've just... I think he's probably like five, nine. Five, eight, and three quarters apparently bought a... He marked it up. No, I'll know what that's what it is. I'm right. Okay, final question from the kids.

Bob, do you feel frustrated and disillusioned by how your life has turned out? You simply give off lots of classic signals that this is the case. I, a, your continual, thinly veiled aggression towards our dad, who, when all is said and done, is actually a kind, decent man, who is just trying to do his best for all of his kids. They go on and say, perhaps your dominion of stature is the source of your barely suppressed rage.

Maybe you should seek some kind of psychiatric therapy or an and or, invest in a pair of built-up shows in order to achieve the existential equilibrium that you saw clearly crave. Hmm. Well... Just yes or no, don't. Alright, yes. Thank you very much, Bob. Um, to a bit of a dig at me, yeah, about me, Ike, which is...

which is unusual coming from you, you're clearly shorter than me, huh? I like that one. But I'm not keen on that one. I've found... John! I've found myself... Where's your short's John? No, it's not've found a- Where's your shots, John?

No, it's not a good man. Where's your shots? It's too specific to John. You know, you want to use it out on the street. Yeah. You've got to find a John before you can ask him where the shots are. I've got anything from Montlore recently, Bob. Er, yeah, or we'll tell you what, thank you for asking.

Because yeah, I don't like to call it an incident. Right. See what you think. So Mark, he's got a bit more time in his undies there, right? Because he's not quite so regular with the pungent real life. You're not going to see him, not to start this season. Which he's not too balanced with, he's sharing, he's pretty good. He's a bit cynical, but he's pretty good

He's better than statement man, for example Well to be honest with you. He's better than The majority of them perhaps apart from not Neville's god any levels god as god. Oh, he's in distress at the moment Hey, should I just listen? I'd maybe I could swap easily for Canada You can send me messages from his lawn I'm just, maybe I could swap Beesley for Calligah. He can send me messages from his loan tonight. I don't know, somebody owe me. I don't think I can do a scale saxon.

So anyway, he still does journalism, don't you? Job, where's your house job? But he's having more time at home with his wife, Barbara, you know, so well, Spring is upon us, Andrew, and last weekend he decided to bring his rabbits out from there over winter in the region. So you're gonna make the B-Mark? Yeah You're going to tell me what to say. Yeah. He's going to, so he's, well spring is upon us so he decided to bring his rabbits out from there

over wintering regime, you know, and saw out some tightness of his satin shirts for the warmer weather. Yeah. You know, so he stood at the back door wearing a nice, silvery gray long sleeve, even eating teller buttons are straining a bit round his guts like. So Barbara says, you sure it looks a bit tight, love. Do you want me to see if I can let it out a bit? Mark says, that's all right, love the materials, now it's stretchy. That's all right, love the materials, now it's stretchy.

I think it will realign around manu winter shape. I think it'll realign around Manu winter shape. I think it will realign around Manu winter shape. What you up to anyway is stood by the back door like a jumper. He says, I'm going to move the rabbit hutch out of the shed. I'm going to move the rubber hutch out of the shed. The daffodils are coming up and that's my usual trigger. The daffodils are coming up and that's my usual trigger. Shouldn't you put some boots on, love?

Those slippers look a bit flimsy for outdoor work. Mark says no, they're the final of. They have a three-ply rubber sole with contoured gripping surface. Oh Jesus, what's that? No, they're fine love. They have a three-ply rubber sole. Three-ply rubber sole with contoured gripping surface. With contoured gripping. Gripping surface. Gripping surface. Say it candy. Okay love, I'll record homes under the hammer while you're out there. So Mark goes to the shed. He lets all the rabbits out of the hutch about from Rudolfo, who's a young man, and then lifts the hutch through the shed door. Just as he's exiting, he holds the door with his foot to stop it banging shut, you

know? But sadly, the slipper isn't tight enough and the door slam shut, taking his slipper with it. So the slipper's inside the shed. So now he's stood there with the hutch in his arms and his slipper inside the shed. He can't throw the hutch down because Rudolfo's still in, yeah? Yeah.

So he rests his sock foot on the bit of roof tile. He usually uses a door, as a door stock for the door shirt Shared door, yeah, right calls out to Barbara Barbara, you said I fucked up Barbara, I fucked up Barbara come and help Barbara come and help well as Belly's really straining the shirt now and suddenly two buttons ping off you can do the ping BING BING

That's it. Thanks. Mark, fucking shirt. Fucking shirt. Fucking rabbits. Fucking rabbits. My fucking life. My fucking life. Now, was that Mark Lawrence at the end, Andy? It was mate Bob.

So let's have it as Mark Lawrence said. My fucking life. Well, Barbara doesn't come, so he slowly, very slowly, lowers the hutch onto the ground. But as he does so, his sock foot slips off the roof tile and he falls forward, two more buttons ping off his shirt. BING BING! The hutch tumbles under the path and he falls onto the manure patch, which is covered in fresh young knuckles, yeah? Well of course the metal sting is chest and stomach where the shirts open yeah. Laura, ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Fucking ow. Fucking ow. Ow, that was F and ow. Not held.

Alright, fucking ow. Right. He jumps up just in time to see. I'll show you that out later. It's up to you. Okay. He jumps up just in time to see Rolfo escape into the side gate, right? So without thinking he runs after him,

but his sock foot stands on the fat ball holder that had fallen onto the path. Ow. Ow. Ow. Fucking life. Fucking life. Well, he hops back into the kitchen,

calling out for Barbara. Barbara! He hops through to the kitchen calling out for Barbara. Barbara! He hops through to the lounge calling out for Barbara. Barbara! Barbara quick, I've stood on the fat ball holder. Fat, Barbara quick, I'm still in the fat ball holder. But she's not in the lounge. Then he looks up through the nets in the window and he sees Barbara in an embrace with a blow.

He can't see who it is. Barbara whips the fellow goodbye and comes back inside. Mark, who was that bloke you were with? Who was that bloke you were with? Oh, it's just an old friend. What's all the noise about? I lost a slipper and four shirt buttons and Rudolfo has escaped. I lost a slipper and four shirtship, but it's in Redolfo's escape. Then he notices Barbara has Redolfo in her hands. Redolfo, or Redolfo, my darling, you're safe.

Redolfo, or Redolfo, my darling, you're safe. Yes, my friend caught him as he ran out. He was wearing sensible out-door shoes. Ys myfren cawtym yn ysgwyr yn yw'r amser yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ysgwyr yn ygwyr yn ygwyr yn ysg And the comms under the hammer starts in a minute, Mark says, thanks love. Thanks love. And as she left the room, Mark couldn't help but notice she had a very distant looking her eye. I can't help but notice. So do you think that story? Just those that pause, I thought you would be so.

You think that story was a bit like the movie Brief Encounters? In some ways, yeah, not so much with the fat ball holder and the others daffodils in Brave and Counter, wasn't there? Yeah, in the distance lock in the eye, you know. Yeah, so like 50 feet. Oh, thanks Andy, that makes it. That makes it. And that's about it for this week, Bob. Well, if you'd been watching on the teller, I was just going to see that here. I'm right here. I've been immersed in wild, wild country on Netflix. Pretty good.

Have you seen it? Oh, it's good, isn't it? How much have you seen? I've seen all the freaking love. Oh, I am. I've not seen it all three episodes in. Well, Kees, good news for you, Andy. You know my test with these Netflix things.

They've got to keep on an upward trajectory. They've not got a shit right at the end. It goes up, up, up and away. I'm on episode four and it's just boiling. In case you haven't seen, I don't know what it's about. It's about an Indian guru who bought a massive plot of land in Oregon in the early 1980s. And he kind of retreats a bit, doesn't he wants to there? The build is city. His secretary, Shaila, kind of takes over. The guru just eventually stops speaking and stops in the house all the time, doesn't he? But he really likes Rolls-Roses and Shreddy three of them and watches me out at diamonds.

But the nice thing is it's an extraordinary story. Yeah, I was completely unaware of it. It's in my lifetime. I had no idea. I mean, we're all familiar with John's town, the Jim Jones cult thing. Yeah. But I had no idea this. Our first episode, I wasn't sure if it was really railed because there was so much video footage. I thought it had been staged. episode, I wasn't sure if it was really real, because there was so much video footage, I thought it had been staged. Yeah, I wasn't sure. I spoke with documentary thing, but my God, it's real and my God, it's good.

It is a good one, isn't it? You think you'd be a good cult leader, Bob? No, I don't. Well, I mean, I think it's his eyes that there is fortune, aren't they? He's got very sort of like, kind. Yeah, like me. Deep the, kind eyes, kind fish. Yeah, you got a kindish face if you lost a bit of weight.

I've been watching, another thing I've been watching, Andy, is Flinttown. That's an Netflix one. And I can give that a recommendation. But in terms of me test of like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, it starts at a really like solid seven. Right.

And it never drops. I'm not saying it goes to a ten. It's terrific, human sort of. It's real life cops in a town called Flinttown, the most violent town in America. Flying the world, that's good. I did want to, I did want a shot in the dark on Netflix. Don't bother.

What's that about? I mean, what's your couple of them? Because the three blocks in it are wankers. Right. They're the people who chairs, um, nine, nine calls at the night, film them and then try and sell them to the look to the news channels. In America. In America, yeah. But, um, it is kind of worth watching, one of the reasons. But they're just a sort of fuck, yeah. Final thing for me, couple of darts things. On the iPlay at Bullseys and Bea when darts hit Britain or about the history of darts. And at Eric Bristol thing, because he passed

the wheel last week, on YouTube it was a really good document about Eric Bristol in 1979 called Arrows, just before he became really big and it follows him round. Yeah, exhibition matches and really good. It's really good. It's really murky and gloomy. Did you get a sense of the man? Yeah. Because I worked with him a few times. Would you like to elaborate on that? Well, I'm soon after his passing.

No, I would. Okay. I've also watched a movie that's available for 99p at the moment. I know it's on the eye, you know, on eye, telly. That's what I use. Is it I. Whatever. It's called Courierence. Yeah. a'i tally. Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally?

Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally?

Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally?

Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? Yn o'n tally? That's good film. It haunts you for a bit afterwards. That's good film. Now tonight, Andrew, can I just say, air assaults on again in Liverpool. They've gone back to Liverpool. Did it work out in London? Did they get many in?

Sell out. Did it! Per evening. And they're going back to Liverpool. It's late. You saw that last time. Yeah. It's ladies night in Liverpool. Right buy is close, yeah, the national. Is that why you're wearing the jockey socks and the little cap to it? Yeah, because they're

national, they're national. Well, why wouldn't you? It's a big day. Well, I didn't know whether you'd got a job as a jockey, what would you be in a little short-ass in that? Sunlands going down. Alright, that's enough for this week. All right, see you soon. Bye-bye. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain ol' ice? Yes, we deliver those.

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