Athletico Mince - Ep. 62 - Specific Beef

Episode Date: June 11, 2018

Ruminations on carvery portions and hair transplants, some observational comedy from Mick McCarthy, more revelations from England's World Cup camp and a return to management for Steve McClaren... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay, give us a noise then start us off Andrew. What kind of noise? Kind of noise would you like, but. I tell you, it's too easy if I said the F1 because you just go... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr back home on your horse. Do you know if you bang the halves, the two horses together, don't sound like a coconut. Ha, ha. Ha, ha. What do you think? Is that a piece of beads of chalk?

No, it's just a chalk. Is it a chalk, Andrew? No, barely. So you take shirt today where it just has the word, Condiments, question mark, run out of condiments. Are you offering condiments? No, condiments, question mark. I'm giving you the opportunity

to decide whether you really need them in your life and grow. Well, does it have the option of condiments? Okay, you thought it's only decided you're on the side. Yes, I am pro-condiments. The condiment is pro-condiment. The latest Paul's show that it's 50-50 across the nation. Really? Yeah.

I'm gonna start with, I came across, I've like, I did the Colin Quizzis, a fun quiz. It's where like, find out where would be the best place for you to see a fun there. And immediately I get suspicious. Not but, I'm just saying, can I identify that type of thing? You know, like what sort of boyfriend would be good for you? Oh, I don't know.

And you fell in the quiz, the question, yeah. Well, this is where would be the best place for you to live in the UK for you and go. you and I okay I see where this is going so here's the first one can you eat a not to three chicken dippers in one sitting be four or five chicken dippers or see six plus chicken dippers six plus six plus he says that's C in your street would you like to find a the occasional dog dirt yeah b dog dirt on every other perving stone or three four by four vehicles only due to the depth of dog dirt coverage I don't want to say any dog dirt don't say any local okay but you've got to know you heard the first one does electricity consumption in your favorite town

Surge during the Wimbledon men's final Just this item flailing already It's quite revealing Just it's surge in your ideal town during the Wimbledon's Men Final during Lovarland Final Results or during Mick Moth's MMA cage fighting show on Showcase TV. Oh man. You like your MMA Andy. I like my Lovarland more though.

Lovarland. Do you still announce? I've tried Lovarland this week. Yeah. I'm interested. Two episodes. I got through two episodes. why did you rejected? Oh the world coming up I can't commit to something like a hundred episodes a hundred hours of love Island

Yes, it doesn't the summer it doesn't clash with the with the World Cup board It doesn't but it would be too much to deal with yeah mentally You know because if you watch the screen I watch out of, and you'll be watching the World Cup on 60 inch. Have you bought a 60? Right, I've... Yeah. Fuck you down! So tell me, I love the electrical goods.

So... Do you want to come around and do the efficient opening? All-edged, is it 4K? What we're looking at? No, standard. It's L.C.D. And what brands are... Samsung, you know, like Samsung. No, it's some it's

it's say a guy or something like that I got from aor.com Oh fucks it's say cool. It'll do the job for the woke up that's he just bought the cheaper sound. It's 350 quid. 350 quid. Yeah for a 60. Jesus wet. Does it come with sound? Or do you have to provide that yourself? There is some sound. It's quite terrible. Anywhere. Or Mick Moth. Mick Moth is the answer. On your ideal town crest, would you like to see a castle?

A lion? Wow. Or a deep fat fryer. A lion? So your answers were mostly C. I would just cross chat, but. Oh, it says the ideal place for you to live is Sunland. Oh is it? Yeah. Well, that's just as well because I do live terrible item, wasn't it?

It wasn't good. I've got one question from McWod's this week. Okay. Bob, this here. As you went there, what is let's say your final chapter, do you find yourself behaving in an increasingly, in an increasingly passive aggressive manner to people who are younger than you and possibly got a bit more going for them in life in general? Do you know Andy, I genuinely don't quite know what passive aggressive means? It's when you're quite like mean to people but you try to be nice. So you're being mean so what you're like sarcastic like. Oh no, lovely to do that. Like for example, if you would do like a multiple choice quiz to someone just as an attempt to bring their town to them

from where they live, city actually. So city now. Is it the city? Yes, it's 1992. Right, and has that made a big difference? It's quite straight. Quain gave us city status because we got the F here Cup final in 1992.

Well, we got the F here Cup final. The borough we didn't get city status. Tough shit mate. Don't want it, it's cool to be a town. Others feel it's cool, isn't it? Millions of us cool. I'm getting involved. I've got a name for you Andrew.

It's one name only, you can be running up dogs, or you can be chips whiffles. He's a golf pro, he's a steroid addict, yeah, and he once got pissed in Pakistan. That's his little backstab. Is he American or is he UK? He's UK, he's fancy. I'll tuck it. You've took chips. So, I'll make my car. I've got one for you.

Sorry. Bongo John. Alright. 30-year, it works in an adult store on the side of the year one. He's built the Den in the corner of the year one. He's built the Den in the corner of the field over the back from the shop where he hides all the stuff that he stales. Mainly novelty Johnny's. He's going to sell them all on the dark web and buy him monster truck. Oh you can be a lovely old woman. That's all it says. Oh I'll be a lovely

old woman. It's lovely. It just says a lovely old woman. That's all it says. Well I wouldn't want to be a lovely old woman. Well there you are. You can be a lovely old be a lovely old woman because lovely old men and lovely young men do nice things for lovely old women I did and I was at the station on the way up. I saw a lovely old woman right open the door open the door for her Let her go before me then push her under the tracks Hey come on let's get Mickey let Let Mickey. Are you Mickey, alright? Alright, you're bastard! What do you want, Mickey? I've got something to tell you!

What's that, Mickey? You're a bastard! And this middle's a bastard, it's a bastard too! Alright, thanks for that, Mickey. You've got a new job yet. No, I haven't. Do you know your bastards want to fight? No, not at the minute, Mick.

Why do you think you haven't got a job yet, Mick? Because every club I've ever played, so, has been run by bastards. On behalf of a pack of bastards, I'll be holding to some foreign bastard, who live in bastard Brad like a bastard would. You can't get a straight answer from any of them, especially the top bastard who's usually funny and about the bastard yapping the middle of some bastard or should. Well that's a shame, Mick. Well look we better get on with the the shawt she, Mick. Fuck off your cheeky bastard. I'll go on unbusted really Anyway, I want to do some of that

observational bastard comedy stuff shift away Have you ever busted noticed I serve you have I have you as a bastard of you have a noticed that the bastard detergent drawn your busted washing machine always gets clogged up like a busted. Have you noticed that your bastards what a bastard. Have you ever busted noticed that the bastard binmen come every bastard week except for the one bastard time you actually remember to put the bastard bin out and the bastards have already been I mean notice that you're busted what a bastard

hey Mick maybe you should use what a bastard is your catchphrase hey a bastard well in fact I'll call me Edinburgh observation comedy show what's a bastard what's it gonna be about me bastards see ya see me say bye bye because oh do you think he's off to London so again I'll say up so yeah he's got the heart of a lion and a lifetime a band from his local zoo, get it. Another joke there. Yeah.

Have you ever been kicked right full in the belly by a large breed dog under, you know, like doobum and not that one that looks a bit like a wolf? Not yet, have you? Yeah, I was, well, I was once kicked in the chest by a Labrador when I was young. That the Labrador's not a big, the largest breed dog I would think.

Yeah, but with a booty in the chest. You could take that, couldn't you? Well, I was only about That laparado's not a big deal. It's a large, pretty dog-out thing. Yeah, but with a booty and the chest. That couldn't you? Well, I was only about seven, alright. Ah, right. And I've been scared of dogs ever since. Was it front paws or... Front paws on chest.

Yeah, front paws on chest. Just being friendly, Bob. Not me over. Is that friendly in Dog World? Well, it didn't know. Come on, lad, I snuck some kids over. It didn't know you were... It didn't know you were...

It didn't know you were weak. Are you a Bodgerette and Karl Douglas? Is there still Kung Fu fighting? Oh, fuck, you know. I mean, it was 1974 and believe it or not, he's actually 76 now. Well, it doesn't need to be a barrier to exercise, does it? Was he necessarily Kung Fu fighting?

And he said, everybody's Kung Fu fighting. Well, that sounds like... That's a clue to himself, doesn't it? Everybody can observe and I can comment it. Everybody, including everybody's. Yeah, the kit on Bob. No, all right. I mean, you might still be doing it.

I don't know, I might not be doing it martial arts at a competitive level, but you might still be doing, you know, like Tai Chi, maybe Yorgat came himself support. What's your reckon? I don't reckon he's still King Foo. I might say if it says something about it, I like that King Foo.

King Foo, King Foo. I might say if it's on his website in the FAQ section. Now you've now someone mentioned Foo. You did. Kung Fu yeah. My favourite Chinese dish by a long, long way, but I never kind of remember to get it. Is egg full chicken egg full young. Right. You like that? I like a special egg full young because it's got a bit of all sorts of things. Typical. What you do goes through your little fucking sondland mind is you see the menu and it says egg full young, toquid, whatever chicken. Quid. Whatever it is, chicken full young, two pound ten. Yeah. Special with chicken prawns. It's very 30. No, two pound, you think there's more in it for me. Yeah. No, there'souting you think there's more in it for me.

No, there's more variety, that's all. You probably get the same pound for pound, you'll get like a lot of chicken, but in the special, you just go a little bit of chicken and a bit of pork, some mushrooms and all of that. Which leads me to ask Andy, are you a turbicavory man? Of course I am. So what is your meat order? What how do you try and get the most meat? You go I love just turkey, do you go I love a bit of H? No turkey and beef and I'll have some pork if I like the look of it. So you say turkey and beef? Now when you look at the plates around you as we all do, do you not sense that if you just ask for one meat you'll actually get a little bit more? You'll get more of that meat, but I for one mate you'll actually get a little bit more? You'll get more of that mate, but I don't think you'll get more in total if you just

take one mate. I don't think you'd get three times what you would get if you order three different mates. One slice of each if you ask for each. Three slices of one if you ask for one. No, I don't think so. You know what I can? Probably two times, maybe two point three times.

Okay, well, could I just ask if anyone's going to be this weekend? Yep. Could you just have a look round, say what you reckon? Because I'd like to know the answer to this. My son reckons that you're always best with a slice of H. You will end up with more weight of meat. Outs, it stands to reason, doesn't it? Well, I don't know, Andy,

and the bar I'm very interested in it. Do you have a special bra, Andrew, that you wear only for really special occasions, like when you go to the match, or a sit-down meal at Frankie and Bennings? No, I just have a range of standard bras for any occasion. All right, so you've got two or three, and you just,

as in when? You wash them in your sink, and and then when the dry you'll swap. Yeah black. Can I just say hello to gentlemen that as we're doing this podcast Andrew is watching I think it's a United States versus Ireland rugby match. Australia versus Ireland. I'm just trying that I just can't look at your basically. Well that's not that's not very helpful is it. Let's get it's world cup coming up Andrew. Yeah see how I injected some Well, that's not very helpful, is it? Let's get it's world cup coming up Andrew. Yeah, see how I injected some enthusiasm then yeah, here comes the world cup This Thursday. Are you excited? I am beyond excitement Andrew when I was when I was on death's door. Did you know I was ill? Not done that you've mentioned it before

That was the thing that I've, I've, I've, I've, I've placed on down, I want to see the world cup. It wasn't, I want to do, but it wasn't, oh God, I'll really miss doing podcasts with Andy Dawson. I'll do that. I know. It was the world cup and here it comes. Sadly, I've got a new fishing show. You know, right? No, this isn't an advert,

but no one has been, I've mentioned it before, very world cup aware. So I've got to do the publicity for me new show with Paul Whiteouts, yeah, and it's always during the day time clashing with matches. I'm recording a new big night out, clashes with matches. Some fucker has invited me to a bar the kill that I can't get out of, so I'm missing something like 38 matches. Seriously, that's not funny. It's not funny. I am so

64 in the fucking thing and that's not enough as it 64 that doesn't fail enough Doesn't it quite enough? I'd like it to be in at least in the 70s cut the thousand two thousand matches Well the football never ends in a way. There is thousands of matches left. Oh, man Well anyway, it's gonna win it then. It's gonna win it. Have you got any idea? Will you say the final? Yeah, I'm free by the final.

Yeah, free for the final. But everyone knows the more interesting ones are the ones that you, it's always a same in it. Shall I watch this Algeria, again, Croatian match? No, I won't. That's the one you should have watched. It's far more interesting in these early stages.

The group stages of 2014 for me was as good as the World Cup's ever been. Yeah. There was like two bad matches out of 32, whatever it was. And I'm expecting the same again this time, because nobody can defend. There's four of them. I'm expecting a goal fest. And you know what? I'm not particularly bothered about England, but I think England are gonna do all right. That means quarter finals, yeah? Quarter finals, I think, yeah? Okay, well I predict Elvictree for France.

Ooh, there you go. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany.

I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. I'm gonna Germany. Now I'd like to introduce to you, as we've talked about the World Cup, the World Cup, Gangs of the EPL. So, Andrew, the teams are in their hotel before the Costa Rica match in Leeds. Yeah, look, I'm stretching my mouth out like that. Do you like this? It changes my voice slightly.

It's not very appealing. I'm going to stick with it just for the intro. So our team, and they'll tell before the Costa Rica match in Leeds, what's Leeds for Emma's for Andrew? Nothing. Right. Anyway, Jordan Anderson. Losing the 73 and a big up file.

Anyway, Jordan Anderson, Phil Jones, a share in a room, double on sweet. So that sounds like a nice room, doesn't it? And, Andrew. Decent? Yeah. Jordan sat on the bed watching police interceptors and Philip is having a bath. a ni'n ysrwm, dyn i'n yndrwm. Deisant? Jaid yn ymwch, wedi'n pwllis yn tepsor, yn fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch. Cynu'r fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a fwyllwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwch, a ffwad, a'n lwy'r ross beth oh, sexy ass, you got the air fill. Thank you. It says Phil, suddenly there's a knock on the door here. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P and another, oh I won't name another Vardy annual, I won't mention their name.

All right boss lads just wanted to have a little chat with you you know, shit onto the breeze, fart around on the vibe like. Our rooms much bigger than yours says the hate, and our teleface is the bed's not the window, so we don't get Ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys ys Mae'n gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r Gael yw'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r gwaithio'r the pat testing there on your kettle the heat. I was his bag up to it there very reassuring as I

often slip over when I pour a kettle. We haven't got a kettle, we've got one of them special hot tops boiling hot water at the flick of a switch. I could not live without it. That wouldn't even be a life. Baddie, all right here. Chill out, listen. I'll put some Jason Derulo on me, Spotify, and let it bleed into our psyche, like a mark Ruffalo-Syliliquity penetrating a cream cake. Oh, I love cream cake. Mum lets me have one fly tonight in bed when she leads me a story. Jordan, cream keeks pack a toe left the house last year and I walked east. This year's in deroulade well-raged.

Listen, says Vady, you boys, if it's cream keeks and chill out biscuits you like then, why not join my gang? Harry, Harry came on the downward spiral, he's out of form and out of shape, you know, 15, but Tavya is a magic chin and I expect that accounts for a lot of his weird magic chins. Can't live with them, can't live with them. That's livin' alright. Anyone seen my porridge tongs, eh? Raheed, Mr Vahdi has a magic chin and on top of that he is slightly boggied.

Hey, go easy on slightly boggied. Hey go easy on the boggins shout bro, yeah! Sorry boss. At that moment Harry can and Debbie Ali rush through the door, linking their rooms to Jordan's, the both wearing white silk pajamas and top hats and the, so that's an eye swear to present yourself into it. Definitely. Harry, I've been listening at the door and picked up everything by using my chin as a

sound amplifier. Mr Vardy, you have been very disrespectful and, on the hand, asking my gang members to jump ship. I don't mind admitting that I'm in a fluffly toppance about this, and if it wasn't for hotel regulations, I would throw lukewarm water at you from a vessel. Listen Cain, your two boys seem to be wavering, like, you know, the pamper's grass outside Raheem's ranch. I guess they like the weight and sharpness of my chin rather than your blunt stump.

Oh, it's for a nice chin, Vady. Pity I'm not wearing gloves, I like the handle lit. Shoshy Malfady says this is Debbie Ali. Shoshy Malfady, what's the matter is you hurting about something that has hurt you? And you've got boggies guys that's what I said, you just drop it right here okay? I'll tell you what we will do we will fill our top hatch with water and then me and Vady will place our chins in the water and see which one displaces the most water Phil oh. Oh, I get you, oh, see, which is heavier chin. Exactly.

So the tell-filtre go to the bathroom and fill up the hats with water. The hearing fall over. Vardy, oh, soft lads fall and over. Like a lump of cream dropping from a plumper clare. Oh, jeez, Vardy, stop mentioning cream kicks. It's meeting my balls, Rottie. This stuff does happen, you know, yeah? Eventually Phil comes back in with the hats full of water. Him and Harry, Vardy and Harry drop the magic chins in

and measure how much water has been displaced. And Andy, Vardy's chin is the heavier. Whoa. Well, well, I have to bug that's fair enough, but it does not mean that your heavier chin is actually more magic. Don't forget I was the highest Christian scholar in the Premier League this season. Oh, Ari, oh man, Ari, I'm really sorry, like what I think I'm gonna switch over to the Hardy annuals, you know, it's heavy a chin, you know know on the cream cake,

shit in that, and whether be reassurs, I'm very disappointed in you, Jordan. Your boot smocked turncord, I will leave you with your new friends. Come on, Debbie. And they'll leave, right? Later that night, Vardy's gone from the room. An Ari and Debbie go back into Phil's room.

Right. Well, Jordan, that plan worked a treat. Well done, Philip, for giving Vardy the smaller top hat. Thank you! So, Jordan, you are now my eyes and ears into the Vardy annuals. Jordan, get the impression on my not my boss yeah Harry white lines we were when how he scores all white lines sorry white lines we were when how he scores Harry don't pass the Vadi all don't pass the Vadi So that's interesting to me. Wow, I'm still very much a Vadi annual fan. Really? Because of Jeremy himself, yeah.

You like Jeremy, too. You still got a bit of a man crush on him, I think, yeah. Did you think that story was a little bit like the hotel scenes in the hangover movies? Yes. Was a bit, wasn't it? Yeah, very much so. I was thinking that as I was listening to it, yeah. That's what you want me to say.

Do you think that Vali should go? Oh, not. No, I think you should. You should. Does it just enough for my light and... Listen, Bob. Yeah. Have you heard of the Norwegian playwright, Henrik Ibsen?

I think I have heard of him. No, not for it. I think I've heard of Ibsen, yeah. Yeah, this is interesting, right? He was obsessed with masking his baldness. Yeah. I mean, he, not fit. I think I've heard of Ibsen, yeah. Yeah, this is interesting, right? He was obsessed with masking his baldness. Yeah. I mean, he's dead now, but... And he had six or seven wigs. Each one was longer in length than the next one,

and he'd work his way through them, like, over a few weeks. Yeah. You know, so when he got rent aware in the longest one, what he would do was he'd make a passing comment to one of his friends about how he needed a haircut. Yeah. And then a few days later, he'd revert back to wearing wig number one, the one with the shortest length hair.

And it's just me who might want to think about that. Well, Terry Wogan apparently was the same. Really? He had three or four weeks. And we're allowed to see that now that he's passed. I suppose. I think people said it during the time, you know, but the other thing is, is that I have just been offered. I could show you, I've been offered a free air transplant worth 30,000 pounds.

What? Now one, you wouldn't think I had enough hair to do one. It would look like a big job to me. But two, you can't help but being slightly tempted, you know. It was offered you this? I'm not going to name someone, but you know, like, posh hair place. Do you think I should, and you're in a immediate reaction?

Yes, I know. First of all, why have they asked you? Because then it'll be, they'll put a picture of me on the site, you know, me knew, like, rock and roll hair. Yeah. And then, look, if we can fucking do, make him look, give him hair. What kind of customer of the track are you think,

like, that you're not a concentrator? The jobless. The concentrating on people losing their hair. I know, but there's people who are losing their hair who other people are spiked there, when then there's you. Yeah. But I would, you know, you know what the idea is, they'll look at the site and say, Oh, look, that Bob Mortimer, that little cheeky cunt, he's got it done and it seems to have worked. That's going to be a big job. But what's your reaction? Just yes or no. Don't do it. He's got it done and it seems to have worked. It's going to be a big job. But what's your reaction just yes or no? Don't do it.

It'll hurt. You know what? It will hurt. It will hurt. You'll probably take up the rest of the world cup, but you're going to say take up the rest of our life, probably. Could do. Telly-wise, Andrew.

Yeah, what you've been watching? Well, did you watch the thing about carbs this week? Because I'd like the viewers help with this one. No, but I did see the thing about it where if you put your bread in the freezer first and then tossed it from the freezer, it removes all the bad carbs. Yeah, no. That's exactly the point now, because this seems to have... It's not gone viral, but everyone seems... Even if you haven't seen the show,

you seem to, people seem to know about this, put it in the freezer, then toast it, and you'll have got rid of a lot of the bad carbs in it. Right. I would really like to just, I know I'd just like to know if there's any people out, out there, any scientists people who can tell me whether that's true or not.

I don't believe it. Right. But they're not a scientist that said it on the telly. No, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a fella. Right. As far as I can tell, it was a fella. It's a fella. Yeah. As far as I can tell it was a fella. Yeah. Well, I'll be... Is there any site that's listening? I want to get in touch. Yeah, I'd love to know what denies. I would love to know because the nation's all doing it now,

putting the bread in the freezer and toasting it for the breakfast. And if there's any other cosmetic surgeons that are listening, I'd quite like a tit reduction for Christmas. Well, telly wise, Andrew, I was thinking about, I've watched a lot of telly this week because I've been watching the American version of the killing, you know, the Danish thing. Yeah.

And it's, there's a lot of seasons, four seasons or so. It's been dominating me last week's viewing. It's all right. It's one of those that's about 6.5, doesn't wear ever either way, you know what I mean? Right, it's absolutely. It's four seasons. It's fine.

I'm sticking with it at the moment my six hundred pound life yeah there's a new series has started on I think it's on quest red but you'll find it in there wherever it is I think it's well find it um including this series Andrew a one ton family wow how many people in the family though 20 no it's three of them but I just better I just thought to myself, with the world cup coming off, I'm hoping that a lot of people, and this is my advice for us if you're out there, Nickoff work, just Nickoff or something. Yeah. Honestly.

Or just packing your job and then getting another one afterwards. Yeah, in ten years time. I'll kind of, yeah, in ten years time, you want to be remembering your world cup experiences. Well, this is going to be my son's first world cup and I'm going to make it special for him. Yeah, what by not being in the house. So, um, staircases now on Netflix, Andrew, and the staircase. I've watched it probably six or seven times. I've got about that. And is this the original? Because there's a new one as well. Well, it's the new one,

but it's the first eight episodes are the original, yeah? Right. Now Netflix, the one beginning to lose me temple with now, right? I've made it. So the new ones started at episode nine. Right. But they've made it so that you cannot just go to episode nine. You've got to have to watch all eight together.

Really? Yeah. That's a bastard trick in it, though. In it, though. But, you know know I reckon anyone who hasn't seen staircase It's somebody is a must it's one of the greatest. Well the first day of saying yeah, I haven't seen this new bunch I've to sit through the first day it again. Yeah, you'll have to definitely definitely definitely watch the staircase Anything else you've watched so what I was saying if people are gonna really just take the World Cup stair arms down the sofa I just wanted to repeat that

take the World Cup stair arms down the sofa. I just wanted to repeat that better call-sol is the greatest TV series ever made. So it's there, there's three or seasons, three or four of even watch that in between the world. Well because not everybody can afford Netflix. This week I've been watching on iPlayer, the secret life of the Mortelweer, which is one of my favorite documentaries. Why so good? It just is it? Well the mortal weir is what's not the love? The first episode is a three-part, right? The first episode is all about the introduction of the mortal weir's, the construction of them, all of that sort of thing, the story behind the font on the signage, classic signage that we want for decades. Part two is mainly mortal weir service stations, again what's

not the love. Part three is about the kind of demise of the mortarware. People are protesting when new ones are being built. Hippies. Hippies. Mainly sitting in trees. Ice beer pee. Did you sit in a tree? No, I used to have Afghan coat, but I'll opportunity to let them ask the smell. Did you get put them in? Can I give you a mortarware quiz then? What was the first, oh you know, I don't know the, what put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the put the only services on the motorway network that has a KFC and a Burger King. Oh, it's... No, it's just too dull waiting, Andrew, so I'll just tell them it's fleet services on the M3.

Oh, wouldn't have said that. I would have gone one of the ones on the M62. Okay, I think we should move on. We're just, you know, you're watching number of B. I'm not, I just can't stand looking at you. That's all it is. McLaren is back. He is. In is back it is in business it is

no look if you watch our live show that's on is it on you chill if you go to athleticomins.com it's there right I'm just I only mentioned that because it's a 75 minute show which includes Steve McLaren Steve McLaren the climax of the story between him the fat lesson Casper So and a judge and a judge so if you've listened to that this is the next bit Fast forward from that terrible awful day at court, but well, I won't give up doing spoilers and Steve is now manager of the London Club QPR do you remember QPR? the London Club, QPR. Do you remember QPR? Do I remember QPR? Well, for when my football team

used to be in the championship. Yeah, you remember QPR, yeah. Ian Holloway was their manager before. He was. He hadn't been seen apparently since the very day of his sacking. So that's quite interesting. Anyway, so Steve turns up for his first property at the training ground, Sipson Lane, he's cocking a hoop and enjoying a nice pot pie. Pops is head out of the window at the security gate. He says, hello, Fatso.

Just a jocely of me. I'm the new manager, Steve McLaren. I was told there would be a pass waiting for me at these gates this morning. I need to measure up for new beige carpets in the offices. The man says, oh, what voice do you do? I don't know. Oh yeah, no that's just the old minister. The reggiler was that.

Ah yes of course. Oh Mr McClaren, I think a bit of pork by Crust has got stuck to the front of your head. Would you like a Belinda wipe? No I don't need a Belinda wipe. That's my hair, I land your Rodney Pl Plancker. Let me tell you all about it. It's my front of hair, de-donement. It's a marvellous design. It's a miracle in the making. This hair island of mine. It helps me sense your movements. It helps me read your mind. It's a natural fascinator. This her island of mine, because there once was a manager had the wonderful idea To develop a hairstyle, all other teams would fear. He fed his forehead with lipids and proteins

And grew a her island in the shape of New Orleans. It's my hand island it's my hand island if me hand island you Rodney of Plunkasville oh suit yourself looks more like the ship of Lake Eury but there you go he's a bit joe-villed in me man gives him the pass oh and can I have a pass for my snake Casper please oh no I don, I know, I don't have one here, and snakes and reptiles are not allowed on the promises I'm afraid, but Casper is assistant manager. If he can't come in, then we'll never finish 15th like I promised at the interview. Oh, let me see him, I'll see what I can do. Everyone at the club is desperate to finish 15th, so I'm happy to help.

Casper, Casper, my love, come out and sail out to the nice man. But when Steve turns round and in the back of the car he sees the boot doors wide open and Casper is nowhere to be seen. Oh oh, he looks at the main building of the train in complex and now on the ground floor he can just see Casper's yellow tail disappearing through one of the ground in complex and now on the ground floor he can just see Casper's yellow tail disappearing through one of the ground floor windows. There he is, lift up the gate and must fetch him before he gets hurt. So Steve gets in the building and searches, Casper Casper where are you? You naughty silly Casper. Casper

I've got your mighty bites or Casper. Casper, I've got your mighty bites or Casper. Well, Steve and the man helps him as well. Oh, I'll help us roll. I've searched the whole training ground. And the man says the only other place that could look as the OSL T room in the basement. It's got like all the sprinkler pumps and all that sort of shit under. Yeah. Well, the go inside, turn the lights on and the security man is

immediately smashed across the head with a flagging of cider. Steve can't see anymore. Just a terrible smell of cider. You can see a large bed of hay that's full of like rabbit droppings and three old saxopataitos in one corner. Suddenly Steve feels the cold steel of a lawnmower blade round his neck. It's a... ae in Holloway. Oh, he's been hiding down there since he was sad. And what does ae in Holloway talk like Bob? You fucking wanker McLaren! Come and irritate my job with your fancy ways in your fancy hair island I've been waiting for you what you mean what's your specific beef what's your specific beef I don't need no fancy pants manager you to finish 15th I nearly done it last season and I got no thanks.

I've been living down here with me rabbits and me cider. Just waiting for this moment, I'm going to cut off your fancy hairhorn and make you eat it. No, please, not my hair island. It's where all my average power comes from. But he can feel the bled at the root of his hair, Miracle. Then out of the corner of his eye, Andy, he sees Casper crawling out from beneath the hay. Our Casper has a huge buildup in his throat and he raises his head up high. Steve says,

Do he Casper? And Casper does, he spews a stream of hot sick, straight at Holloway's face, it fills his eyes with stomach acid and rabbit drop in juice. Ian peels off. My cider! My cider! Somebody saved my cider!" Well, the security guard wakes up at this, restrains Holloway, and Steve takes Casper in his arms and gives him a hug. Oh, Casper, you little beauty, you know all about Holloway's plans, didn't you? Casper smiles. Would you like a mighty bite, Casper? Casper smiles again because Andy, of course, he would. Right, Casper. Let's go and measure up for those

new carpets. Bit like Dog Day afternoon, isn't it? Very much so, yeah. Yeah, it's just going to say that. A bank heist, if it was a substitute training ground. And a new manager coming in football club with a bank robbery between a man and a transsexual? Oh, please, I don't want to get involved in that, too, Pedro. I don't know. I don't know. I let that out. I haven't seen the film. I've never heard of it. I've no opinion on it. Well, it was't know. I haven't seen the film. I've no opinion on it. Well, it was a different time. It was the 1970s. I will mention as well. Well, I would talk to you PR the four year plan, the documentary about QPR. Have you seen that? Is that worth it? It is very worth it. Well, I'll say it. Amazon Prime.

It's from about 2011. I reckon. Oh, it's from when the mad people took over the QPR a few years. I shall watch that when I get old. It's very good. Now I'm very good. Yes. Amazon Prime, a lot more expensive than Netflix. So why are you coming at me and accusing me of great, you've obviously got Amazon Prime. Of course I've got Amazon Prime.

You get free delivery stuff, don't you? What stuff is this? Cables and that and pens. Cables for your fat fryer. Maybe. So can I just, before we leave, can I finally say, we might not get a podcast on in these next couple of weeks. We might not.

We might not. You got a barbecue and that, so. Would people please have a look at me show with all white house? I'm sure they won't have that. It's absolutely, it's so good, Andy. It's a new type of TV. You genuinely proud of it, aren't you? It's amazing, and it is a new type of to you genuinely proud of it. It's amazing and it's it is a new type of TV

And that's on under 20th at 10 o'clock. I think it might be the night of an England match Oh, well, I'm one of perfect. I think they lift our spirits after an England match Okay, before we go directly shooting Stevens. I still got his green dog Was it his green door, Andrew? Who's that hide in behind the green door? So it's not. It's not. It's not the play it hot behind the green door. Yeah, but it's just a green door.

Didn't see it wasn't his green door. Yeah, if you're asking me, are there green doors in the world? Yes, no, no, no. The shit, Steven still have one. It was not in 81. I know he's probably had a fresh quarterpaint on the buy now. But it might still be green. It might be his favorite color.

I don't know. I wonder if it's in his website on the FAQs. Hey, well let's go and have a look. Let's do that together. Hey, well that's an I sent a note and so, please, everyone from Atherical Mints, please do enjoy. Hope you have a wonderful World Cup.

Live it to the full. Nick Offwork, don't miss a match. It's the World Cup with the most important thing in life. Correct. Bye, Bob. See ya. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get a nice drink on Uber Eats.

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