Athletico Mince - Ep. 64 - Briefcase Droppings

Episode Date: July 13, 2018

Bob's vacuuming heartache, a look back at happier times for the England squad, Mark Lawrenson reports from Russia, and we hear from Peter Beardsley and Dominic Littlewood as well as some other stuff a...nd that. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh Thank you for the echo andro to to complete that cinematic soundtrack introduction. It's a pleasure. Never seen that for. I'll probably have one as young. Well, film is a good bad ugly. I don't think I've seen it here. I'm not into the cowboy film.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Really bad news. Really depressed. Well, you are. Yeah. Why is what's depressing your Bob? Me, Phillips, FC, 2, 2, 2, Strock, 0, 1, Hoover, Pactin. Really? Is that the one you recommended make it or is that the greatest? It's the greatest Hoover ever made. Tuck it down to Hoover Repair, Center, Cart Repair, it absolutely
Starting point is 00:00:57 distraught and find out that because of regulations, I'm not complaining, but because of regulations, it was 2,400 watts the FC, Andrew, the Phillips FC, now because of regulations, you can only have who was 900 watts. I'm not sure that's the one I got, because I've got the one you recommended and I was never that impressed with it.
Starting point is 00:01:17 I still got it if you want to spes. You kidding me, because I just need a coil out of it. Oh, you can have it. This is a podcast not a chitchat. I'm serious. I mean, I'll bring it down next time. It's a heavy unit. Here it is. Well I'll tip the whores off. Thank you. Well I'll be really grateful. Yeah, I'm coming. You know it's been a big loss to me. Come on, let's crack on. Hey, you know this isn't really relevant but what's the best thing you saw before?
Starting point is 00:01:42 6.30am, dear. Before 6.30am or one Before 6.30am, I won up and he... Well you're not. Actually I did, I didn't join in with this class. All your classes, all your classes, I did get up at about 3 o'clock to watch them. You see, you think I'll tell you. And I watch... You can't rewatch your bit of a telly, you know what I'm coming up with. Well, how else can you do with that time and like? And I watched something called The Forest, got two episodes in and I'm a little bit uped.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Oh, alright. You might have won this then. Okay, what about you? A rat at a porcelain with bandy legs. And that would be in Sunderland then. Of course it was. Was the porcelain delivering the rat? No.
Starting point is 00:02:16 The rat was following behind him. Oh, following a little bit of, you know, what's it called? Xenophorbeer there? No, I said following him. Not following. He said he was following. No, no, the rat was in foreign. Yeah, of's it called? Is there no phobia there? I said following him not for his Eddie was foreign No, no, the rat wasn't foreign. Yeah, the listeners will be the jury on this. You said foreign How did you bet and go on the world cup under? I'm 28 quid down 28 quid down I'm a 50 kitty. I had a system and when I came out on top. Did you watch your system?
Starting point is 00:02:41 I It's simply this on on every game I bet first goal long goal 33 to 1. Anytime on goal 10 to 1. Came up Trump. Did it? You know, betting cards. Bet on cards. What players and reds?
Starting point is 00:03:00 Yellows and reds usually they said bet. What does that even mean? All the four cards in the match? Oh, I see sorry cards. Yeah, I was the cause queen I have problems understanding me there. Jack clubs. That's you want to know him this week? What you got? Iqbal briefcase briefcase. Whoa You're bit tempted in your eyes. Well, he's a little Sri Lankan fella and I mean tiny Andrew
Starting point is 00:03:23 Why are you? little Sri Lankan fella and I mean tiny Andrew Waiori, tiny, tiny lives in a briefcase. Oh! Is that little? Yeah and it's the briefcase belongs to a sales rep for coffee mate. You know the powdered milk people. Crack creamy they say. That's not really relevant. Does he have any input in the seal of the coffee? No he do all he does is he has you know as a morale booster It is boss or whatever I thought this column Peter right Peter doesn't know he lives there. Oh, right He's he thinks he's got a mouse in his silk case because the equal does little tuts It feels a bit xenophobic as well Ekval does a couple of little tuts in the corner of the brave case, right? So he just finds the occasional Todd in the breaking thinking it's a mouse in there
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yeah, he's not thought searching the brave case for the mouse. The fuck's wrong with Peter? Didn't you rather be Peter? Not rather be the little fellow, to be honest. Because he's got the measure of Peter. Peter, the, the, the, Peter is writing a book about firmness women from Norwich. Right.
Starting point is 00:04:22 It's called Norfolk Brods. So that is a terrible thing to say to me. Yes, very much so. I'm not going to name it up. I'll be the little fella. You'll be a little fella. Is that me only choice? Eggball Grafecas. Good morning to you, sir. Thank you very much. I've got two for you. Thin Richmond. Like it. He's the heir to the Richmond sausage empire and the range of thin men sausages were actually named after him and designed for him because he was such a fable child and he couldn't manage a fat one. I really like him. You really like him. Well, that's that. Last time you took a lovely old woman.
Starting point is 00:04:55 You didn't have a name. This time I'm offering you a lonely old woman. That's all it says here. She might be lovely and lonely or she might be lonely, cushions a bit spiteful, I don't know. No, she makes me feel a bit sad, lonely, lonely. Would you want me thin Richmond? Yeah, and like I would like to be thin Richmond for a quite a period of time, right? Because I think the thin Richmond brand, could you imagine a thin Richmond biscuit? That would work, wouldn't it? Sausage biscuit. No, that's just the title of it, A thin Richmond. All right, you did that, it's biscuit.
Starting point is 00:05:26 It sounds a bit like a 60s rock and roll as well, only thin Richmond. Yeah, you see, you wish you had offered me it. I would have asked it. You won it. Sure, cut for myself. Wife's got some World Cup questions. All good. Andrew couldn't just say, I'm not addressing the World Cup, it's too raw.
Starting point is 00:05:43 What's to be said? I've fully enjoyed it, there were fabulous, it's a new era for... Let's hope it is. You know, let's hope it is and I, you know, they've been paved impeccably. I move on, I'm still a bit sad. Can we just mention that they'll pre-Welker episode here, predicted, France, the winner and I said England we're going to do all right. No, then that's not bad. Because that's what I call me the thought really what we predicted. Hothers fields promotion didn't
Starting point is 00:06:08 lead it out of the blow. We did Bristol City last year once bad I think the first eight. I probably put it in Sunderland's relegation again. I'll go with that again for this season. Anywhere. Well, cool questions. What were your match snacks Andrew? What did you have? You know as your main snack, you were talking snack. You know what? I didn't, because I had a VAT about six o'clock. And then the matches were seven to nine.
Starting point is 00:06:32 It felt weird, matches finishing at nine. Yeah. Because you know, a Champions League midway game's finished close at a 10. It felt like... It didn't feel right, matches finishing at nine. So you just flick over at the Lovale and... No, it's after B bug of Maltese.
Starting point is 00:06:46 What about the early matches? What about them? You know, what about the early on in the competition? It was 11 o'clock, 1 o'clock. Oh yeah. Oh, I'd have a coffee and some very biscuit. So a macchiato or something? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Have you got a little fucking Ponzi machine? Might have. Do you want the Hoover bringing down the bathroom? Yes, I've got a picture of them. I've got a picture of them. I had a lot of pop-a-dums for some reason right a lot of pop-a-dums with me my wife makes a really nice you know the onion salad you have with your pop-up machine No, she got no she does it by hand in an apron
Starting point is 00:07:15 You know she mashes up is it onions tomatoes curry and mango chutney I had a lot of that Given the hot weather Andrew what what percentage of your favourite viewing chair is now sweat and hundreds of thousands from your nobbly-bubbly ice lollies? Oh, I would say probably a good 25 now. 25% sweat. It's been a very hot world cup. What is your favourite ice lollie? It's been a very hot world cup. What is your favourite ice lolly? Um... Probably a fab. Fab is nice.
Starting point is 00:07:49 It's nice. It's like a wrong with a fab. I was gonna see it. Um, a dairy milk chocolate ice cream. Well, that's not a lolly. It's an ice cream. It doesn't count a lolly. I'm fond of a rocket lolly as well.
Starting point is 00:08:00 To be honest, you can't go wrong with a rocket lolly. Have you had a fruit pastel lolly? Yes, they're good fucking very fruity. Very fruity, isn't it? Very fruity. Intense taste. Yeah. That never fards, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:08:11 Because the fab fards a little bit, you know, it does. It does. The reds very nice in it. But as you suck it, it fades. Yeah, and you get down to the white, there's nothing about the white really isn't it? Yeah, and then you back into depression, you know. Yeah, with the hot weather. Did you consider watching the matches laid on the old mattress that's in your backyard?
Starting point is 00:08:39 Kind of. Yeah. I did have a TV set up. I've got like patty or doors out in the yard. Patty or fucking doors. Yeah. What do you mean? Patty or doors? You know, patty or doors. Like what are the Colin French windows or something? Yeah, but if the panel does, they lead to it. So you've got a pat you. I've got Deckin. Tee hee hee hee. We laughing at. You mean, did you put the deck you know?
Starting point is 00:08:56 You're busier when I'm most only got there. Do you clean it up with Deckin cleaner? Oil, that's a brush it down. Well, you're right, proud of it. I hoover it with that fucking strip with hoover you recommend it. You're right, proud of it down, well you're right proud of it. I hoover it with that fucking stoop, with hoover you're recommending. You're right proud of it. Yeah, and tell me how big is the decked deck deck deck.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Lots of maths. 10 meter squared. So anyway, the part of your doors are open. Yeah. I've got the tele-automy bedroom, 40 inch. Not bad. Uh-huh. I've got that on the edge of the dining table,
Starting point is 00:09:23 so I can sit outside in the sunshine Watching the world cup indoors and you did do that. I did that a lot Can you not tell by the color of me skin no reflection on you screen? We're all right There was some reflection, but enough that it was manageable. Yeah, okay. Well, um, thank you friends to those questions really quick Game of fruit are not fruit Let's not do other because it's very dull but are they a fruit of the not a fruit and a row. Oh well then row barb. Not a fruit. Correct. Avocado. Not a fruit. It is a fruit. Green pepper. Fruit. It is a fruit. Yes. Tomato. I know this one. Is it a herb? Pffft. Pffft. What are you reckon it's like,
Starting point is 00:10:08 or is it maybe a nut? Tomatoes of fruit, pineapple. Not fruit, not fruit, cucumber. Not fruit, fruit, pasta, olive. Fruit, fruit, strawberry, fruit, no. Ah, what? What's a strawberry then? Not. It's got a weird name which I didn't bother bringing along.
Starting point is 00:10:27 It's because the seeds are on the outside of it. It's not a fruit. There you go. Oh, you took a little bit of pleasure from that. You got three, right? Did I? Well done. Are you sure I got three, right? Because you wore me an apology after the last one, because I got all book two. I know I did fuck up, didn't I? Fuck me over that time. You've seen Mount Lawrence in them, yeah? I haven't seen him, he's...
Starting point is 00:10:51 You've escaped him again, haven't you? Oh, I've escaped him, yeah. Don't you sat a late phone call? Yeah, and this is how it went. All right, Mark, have you enjoyed the World Cup? You know, now it's ending up now that reflecting on it It's been a bit much of them to be honest with you Bob. I'm sorry to you that what what's gone wrong? There's been more walking than I'm used to my ankles have swollen the water pressure in me showers lower than I'm used to
Starting point is 00:11:22 Yesterday there was some people sitting on the lower wall that I can see at me or tell her in winter I saw someone on a unicycle. I wasn't expecting, I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, ties as twice the price that it is at home, the zoo doesn't do dancing bears here. I haven't finished Bob, the music in the shops is slightly too loud, I'm constantly wondering if I'm being followed around by undercover spies, I can't find anywhere that sells bongella for my mouthfulsers, no one makes proper eye contact there, and I've started thinking about germs a lot more than usual. Well, thank you for joining us Mark, enjoy the rest of your stay over there in Russia. I won't.
Starting point is 00:11:55 That's how it went Andrew. Yes, he's not enjoying it is he. Don't sound like it does it. He comes on soon, cheers up in time, feet, premier league season and all that. Oh yeah, that's coming in it. Yeah, that's coming. I might make Not for us. I'm not making me season predictions yet. Not yet. I'll make one prediction, Andrew And I'm fucking good. I'll make one prediction Sunlands go and show it back up I know that's not you know, no big news
Starting point is 00:12:19 But they I don't know what you're based on that on because ain't gonna be no hiccups there There's still a little bit of quality there. Do you know bad league one is now don't be what you're besting that on because ain't gonna be no hiccups there. There's still a little bit of quality there Do you know a bad league one is? No, I don't be honest fucking on I'd be at sleep being a touch. I'll see you want me to do it. You want me to actually do it? I do All right Oh, I'm done. I'm still at home in the trouble of the foreign landslides. I'll be watching that fishing show that you'll done on catch-up when the wife's asleep. It reminded me of when I went fishing with the wife last year at Wack with Castle at Wack. You know, those Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio' a bubble gum coloured hat, mid-inch nut, a couple of fleets, places, purple as I remember, and the ski trousers she bought in Lidl.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I had not at this point purchased my puffer, puffer jacket. Dogged it, it would have come in very handy. So the wife settled in, not in the riverbank, and in her own, there was a nice snorke with a dip in it. Aligned it with a couple of picnic blankets in her and put me caught over her, and she was so off to sleep. For an hour I saw I had a nice fish and I got lost in me surroundings. A stair that me floored, then I had a good old stair at a piece of blue plastic trapped on a branch of a not a citrine. It had some lightning on it and I'll know I can't be sure. I think it near well have been from a bag of chlorine pellets. Suddenly the wife woke up with a jolt.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Where the fuck are they? Arch the fuck and river. Jesus of Crick Crick me fucking neck. Why didn't you start me out a pillar? You fucking useless dial! I'm sorry that you quick connect, knows, and I'm sorry that I didn't provide a pillar. I'm well aware that the two things are intimately connected, you know, so Let me help you up, love. Check your fuck and slippery little figures off me, fuck and slack bastard,
Starting point is 00:15:09 and fetch me a couple of hard boilers. I am fuck and starving. No, I went in the beard box, and I fetched a couple of scotch eggs that I'd brought along. What the fuck is this nonsense? Scottish fuck and eggs? Has your tiny little fuck and mine sold ugly? that I'd brought along. What the fuck is this nonsense? Scottish fucking eggs! Has your tiny little fork and mine sold up like? Well, I didn't untie the cook any of you this morning love
Starting point is 00:15:35 and there is a boiler in the centre of the Scotch egg. You'll fork and dozey fork and clown. The boiler inside a Scotch is just a sweatly fork and prisoner trapped in a cage of cheap scotch is fork and meat. It's lost all it's fork and clout. I'd rather eat a fork and dog egg. Then she threw a scotch egg in the river
Starting point is 00:16:01 and donned off back to the car, you know. She said, you've got five minutes to pack up Inau'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, ac yn ymwch i'r gweithio, I've said that I know very much at say but I don't think that she heard me. So, I railed me lying in and then I had a thought. I pinched a bit of the meat off the room in, and got checked and put it on my hook. And I caught a five pound tube, very first catch. So, you know, as a sailboat like really every cloud you know every cloud has a lining of some sort so that would be nice. I haven't got my joke but with me but I'm so I'm gonna do a couple of jokes what I can remember in my mind like. I used to
Starting point is 00:17:01 play the triangle in a regular band but I left because it was just one thing after the other. I tried to explain to my foyeron that it's perfectly normal to shut your pants but he still making fun of me. Not to. Have you got anything for excesses wind? And he gave me a kite. Say, Bob, one p.a. B.A.T. Lee is only one p.a. B.A.T. Lee. Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater Pater She might have relatives there she's been visiting I do have trouble with her accent. Yeah Hey, she mentioned little yeah, she took advantage of one of their ski I was up the little in the deer. How did you get on I got a weed burner?
Starting point is 00:18:20 Are you saying them? Yeah, oh I haven't used it yet though. The weeds pop through your decking Maybe well, that's a that's a dilemma for you do you blast them but worry about the finish on your decking. I'm not going to go on the decking with them, I'm going to go on the hard concrete with them. Yeah, hard concrete at the front or in the living room. Hey TV wise Andrew. Yeah TV wise. I haven't been watching much. Well, I'll put a couple of recommendations on that. Right. One is Son area. Son area. I don't know. Son or anyway, it's on Netflix. Right. What is it? And it's part of me crying club recommended. It's about murders. It's a Dutch family what moved to a remote part of Spain and got it big trouble with locals leaving some murders, convictions, very fascinating, right? Fascinating little story. Makes you, after you've watched it like you feel like
Starting point is 00:19:21 out people shit. Yeah. But have a look at that. Really good. How many parts? How many hours? Just one long dog. One long thing. About one hour now. That's all right. That can do that. 24 hours in police custody. Yeah. Incredibly disappointed with the last four of them. It's become incredibly grim. Two grim. Yeah. And it's just like it's like tabloid now. When it let's show a pervert, let's show it. People trafficking. I haven't watched the pervert one yet. But there's no cases is that the Vod that I think Channel 4 is all the time. And I'm not keen on this thing where they do a case and then go back to it a few months later when there's been a development. So, that's not 24 hours. That's seven fucking months. Seven fucking months.
Starting point is 00:20:00 I'm not even. Seven fucking months, you're called from police questioning here. I've watched. I started to watch I, I started to watch it, I had tenure. You know, a lot of people say it's great. Yeah. I thought it would drop. Right, fair enough. I've just had the forest this morning. Yeah, you mentioned that earlier.
Starting point is 00:20:15 And that's a book. Is that Netflix as well? That's Netflix. Don't forget, folks, I've recommended it previously, but crime wise, tall hot blonde, and the smiley face killings. Right, I can't chuck into that as well. The Vietnam War which has arrived on Netflix. It was a ten-partner and baby say four. Ten hour long episodes but this is the full thing.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Each episode is about an hour and twenty-five long, ten episodes and it's the definitive television work of the Vietnam War. I've been tempting Andy, it's worth it. It's a big investment. Time-wise, but it is worth it, yeah. Ho Chi Minh Trail. All that stuff, yeah. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, Abbie and To. What I'm doing in the Leonardo's,
Starting point is 00:20:59 welcome to an other edition of Who's The Prick. Playing along today with me is two-faced, Tiss Bob Moomar. Good afternoon Bob Moomar. All right, Dom. Yeah, nice to see you here. Now then, do you need me to explain the rules to you? I remember it. Do you sure? I have to pick which one of the three people? You've got decide which one of them's a prick and which one of the other ones is your right really? Oh right really? Here we go, three names for you. Number one, Joey Chestnut.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Number two, Maria Kovena Favato. Number three, Pixie Firmister. One of them's a Frick Boboma, which one is he? Hurry up! The first one. The first one, Joey Chestnut. he is the current world hot dog in champion He is not a prick. He recently ate 74 dogs in 10 minutes Nice, what do you call him a prick to his face? No, he won't the god amongst men the prick was Maria Kareena Favreau
Starting point is 00:22:01 He was a member of the Philadelphia poisoning wing Responsible for 140 murders in the 1930s. Yeah, they have a one pixie firm, is there is an Australian detective? She's currently trying to identify a dead body. It's been decomposing in a storage unit for over a decade. So we wish her the very best to have pixie firm, oyster. Good luck pixie. Thanks for joining me, Bob. You got it wrong again, so as if you were the prick, but warmer! You were the prick! You are the prick!
Starting point is 00:22:31 And that was dry oil you've done. Nine pounds. Okay Fur enough. Thank you. Did you want to mention something about quality straight? I did. Have you seen this thing about quality straight? In John Lewis's, they're going to do a thing for pre-Christmas where you can do like picking mix, you get an empty tin and it's a 1.2 kilogram tin and all the different varieties of chocolate for quality straight
Starting point is 00:22:55 and then you can just put in whatever you want. So if you don't like strawberry creams or whatever you can... Well that's the one that I'm picking. You can divert them completely. If you're like the penny toffee or whatever, just get a lot of them. You've got to get a minimum of four of the 12 varieties. So you've got a million. I see, you can't just finish. One each of three you don't like. And then if you're in the strawberry creams,
Starting point is 00:23:17 just get a lot of strawberry creams. It sounds good. 12 quid for a 1.2 kilogram tin. Which would normally be? Well, a 750 gram tub is normally four quid. And it's bigger than that. It's not quite twice as big as that, but it's three times the price. So it should be eight quid.
Starting point is 00:23:38 And it's 12 quid, but... There's a premium for you getting to choose the chocolates you want. But, can I just say one thing? Is when I have a quality straight 10, there is quite a lot of dross left that never gets eaten, so there's a waste there, isn't there? There is, you're paying a premium for getting to choose but fucking hell, 12 quid. I'd do it, Andrew. You'd do it.
Starting point is 00:24:00 I would do it because I could give that as a gift because that feels like, you know, you've made a... Well, you would second guess to someone what they'd like. Well, we all know what everyone likes, don't we? And it's the purple ones. It's the purple ones. All I can see, that green triangle. All I can see is quality straight, smiling assassins. Oh, you know, I'll pay. But I'm not. Oh, it, but is it, John Lewis is initiated by. For 12 quid, I could buy 3,750 gram tubs, but is it John Lewis is initiated? For 12 quid I could buy 3,750 gram tubs, which is 2.25, what's the fucking maths lesson? It's consumer advice Bob.
Starting point is 00:24:34 All right, so your advice is don't buy a tin equality street where you'll actually eat them all and enjoy them all because they're ones that you want. You know, when you pick up that fudge one, or is there a coffee one as well, you're just eating it for the fucking sake. Well, maybe we could do a quality street exchange thing on this podcast where people can send in the ones who don't want them, we'll match them up with people who want them to take them down the village hall. Something like that, yeah, everyone like to
Starting point is 00:24:58 just want someone like that up. Okay, I've enjoyed what you've had to say about it. Other thing, those kids that came out of the cave, show you invite them in. To invite them to come to the pub? Yeah, yeah, I'll enjoyed what you've had to say about it. Other thing, the worst kids that came out of the cave, show you invite them in. To invite them to come to the pond. Yeah, I've sent that invite out. Because they've been invited to the World Cup, they couldn't do that.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Manchester United want them to go around. That's not gonna be fun for them. Yeah. They thought we'd get them in here, it might put them on. Don't want them, welcome. Right, I'm not considered that an invitation then. Good. invitation then good I go I'm a bit wary because they're ery ros and that I've doing a gangs of the APL so I'm going back to Going back to just after the Columbia Mach Andrew you know when we didn't know what was gonna happen
Starting point is 00:25:38 Yeah, and I mean no disrespect to this you know I'm sure people are you alright? So it's World Cup gangs of the EPL. So after what was frankly a wonderful victory of a Columbia who a bit dirty weren't they? Oh the Columbia's were fantastic. Oh you thought of fantastic? Oh the shit house where he was to die for? Are you enjoying that? Oh I enjoy that sort of thing. There was a lot of shit house we got did you know?
Starting point is 00:26:11 Did you see with Loverin? Yeah. And Debbie Allisey, come in and I'll laugh. I didn't see that but I saw he's kind of at least two yellows. Well anyway sorry about that. Never mind. Sorry about that word ladies and gentlemen. The squad were given a day off, the day after it was just a day off, right?
Starting point is 00:26:25 Quite right. The majority of them to spend the day around the pool, right, those who weren't in treatment and that. Southgate wasn't there in the afternoon. He died a little, small plane, you know, to fly over. Would it be the O'rolls or something? Tavola, Pround or whatever. I'll set this, it's Phil Jones is in the shallow end,
Starting point is 00:26:43 yeah, right, of the pool on a floating like inflatable hip-hop and he's eating a hamburger and he's got a cup of tea. That's nice, isn't it Andrews? The two farmers, Pickford and Maguire, they've been collecting wood from the maintenance shed to see if they can fashion a makeshift plow you know, at a past some time. Yeah. Alexander Armstrong and Marcus are trying to make a diving board out of like Turbos at your hotel furniture and the white lion to sat by the shallow end and the hardy annuals by the deep end. Eric Dyer is inside just staring through a window at the scene. I hope I've set that up nicely for you Andrew. I've got it visualized
Starting point is 00:27:23 in the sun is shining. Harry. Philip, have you got plenty of sun cream on? I promised your mum I'd make sure you didn't overexpose your creamy milk skin. Yes boss, but... Oh, for good Charlie will is. Charlie will. Yes boss, I'll put some more on just in case as soon as I've finished me Amberger.
Starting point is 00:27:46 You know, I like Amberger's boss because they're round like my mum's nose. Thank you, Philip. Suddenly, Vardy pipes up. Hey, leave the kids alone, you know, they're only expressing themselves through play. You need to value their innocence and imagination. It shines for two brief appeared in our lives. Rejoice at their wonder. Responsibility can wait. Richard made me told me that, and a boozy do. That's all well and good. You know, if it doesn't involve damaging hotel property, talking of responsibility, where were you when the crunch came to McCrunch for the penalties, Vardy? Raheem, Chape, Sin. Why should Mr Vardy take a penalty? We're none of you ever passed to him, not even in training. How's he meant to be match-sharp?
Starting point is 00:28:43 What she's saying, sterling you winks, McChaky, that there's a conspiracy, a plot, some sort of treachery in the camp. You've been reading too many books by authors. Maybe you is hurting. Jordan chips in. Ah, whoa. Hey, listen up, ma, let's snip this in the bloodfellas. So much of this can Edward report to WNN. Will it ever get to Noe Union's? It knows conspiracy, lady. Thank you, Jordan, for that common sense statement. Jordan, winks at Ari.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Just at that moment, big splash in the pool, because Phillips fallen in. Oh, excuse me, fellas, but I can't swim. You know what I mean? My, my mum wouldn't let me go to a bath sun with count of all dirty boys with six disease on feet. Could somebody pop in it and I can grab me, you know, I'm afraid I have drifted into deep end. Harry, quick farm lads, get in and say Philip. So Maguire takes a smock off. LAUGHTER And jumps in. And the wave caused by the impact of his head
Starting point is 00:29:54 and in the water gently pushes Philip to the shallow end and he's able to stand up. Harry says, Right, I want no more talk of conspiracies and double dealings. We all very much enjoy passing to Vardy, Vardy, especially when we see the sun glinting off the sharp end of this pointy cheer. Don't we boys? All the white lines agree. Yes boss, yes boss, they all say. Well, I'll take your word for it, but I have definitely been starved of service, you know. I feel like a lone hitchhiker at a breakfast table for outcasts in a forgotten hotel in an abandoned city.
Starting point is 00:30:34 You know, like the Premier Inn in Bolton. Don't be that fatty. Come on, let's all go inside and watch Jamie play Splatoon 2. Just at that moment Alexander Armstrong climbs into Phil's inflatable hip-hop. Alexander, bloody elf-hill, it wants this! Oh, it's all a young one, I've left a little Tommy Kiskirl in the hip-hop. Yes, you're fucking av! Harry guides Vardy inside, right, and they all go into watching player just as they all get in Eric stares up to the sky and he sees Garath's plane fly by and There's a message trailing behind it. What you think that message is Andrew Don't pass the Vardy don't pass to Vardy
Starting point is 00:31:23 so Don't pass to Flaadi. So, more than ever fun times, you know. That seems like a long time ago, doesn't it now? How was that Meowth the other day? Can I just say that reminded me of an episode of way other champions with Ron Picker and... Really? ...and they all jump in the pole at the end. Exactly! That was what I was trying to evoke, Andrew.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Was it? Yeah, all done Bob. That was what I was trying to evoke, Andrew. Was it? Hold on Bob. I was at me else, you know, that last week about five of those black people carriers pulled up in front of the house. Do you know like the FBI or the security one? Just screeched up and that were lights on, no sirens.
Starting point is 00:31:59 And I said to him, Andrew, I stood on my front door and I said to them, I said, hey, you back them up and fuck off out of here, right? And put those fucking lights off. There's a house in multiple occupations over there and most of them work nights. Just fuck off. Right? And the main FBI man just held his hands up, apologized. And they all reversed out of the streets.
Starting point is 00:32:21 That's true. Yeah. Just put it up, yeah. Anything else else should we fuck off? and they all reversed out of the streets. That's true. Yeah. Just part of it. Yeah. Anything else I should we fuck up? Hey Bob Jerec and Bon Jovi are still wanting a dead or alive. I mean, it was 1986. And, you know, they've done countless world tours and promotional TV and radio appearances.
Starting point is 00:32:39 That's so, so sorry. The movements, let's face it, have been very well publicized. You think the authorities would have caught up with them a long time ago wouldn't yeah What do you think mind you? I've not seen anything in the news about an arrest or a trial So perhaps the charges were dropped maybe the lawyers did a deal might have even been mistaken identity I don't know what you reckon. I'm not sure what do you think and
Starting point is 00:33:02 Shall we just leave it at that then what's next? I've bj's that you think Andrew? I don't know either. So we just leave it at that then. What's next, I've BJ's, I think they're still alive. What, who knows? They start to come to me at night. What's your about Richard Bacon? I hope he gets well. He's really nice Richard Bacon.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I've not met him, but I've heard he's a good lad here. He's a really nice fellow. And I'm a son-in-law, and that you just don't know what's around the corner, dear. Now you're done. So look after yourselves, everyone. Yeah, everybody, just look after yourselves. What should people eat Bob?
Starting point is 00:33:27 In terms of looking after them. Yeah. There will add a lot of carbs, there's no advice. Okay. See you then. Bye. Thank you.

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