Athletico Mince - Ep. 68 - Fun and Laughter

Episode Date: August 24, 2018

Steve McClaren’s QPR destroy and exit takes shape, Debbie Ali’s new eye thing is explained, a guru drops in, there’s a Barry Homeowner update and some more Fake or Legit… Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Shall I begin? You won't begin, Andrew, if you got something to say, not really? Welcome listeners. I was just going to say... Oh, that's very contented, but you just back from holiday, I think it would be good. I'm not quite into that area of dark depression

that you get when you come back from holiday. Really, it's funny, because you went with your kids and as far as I'm aware, it's like scientific fact that no fellow has ever enjoyed a holiday away with the family. I'm not off at science, but it was in the textbook, it was a skill. It wasn't unenjoyable. I know, I felt sorry, but it was in the text book, I was in a school.

It wasn't unenjoyable. I'm honest. I did. Now, do you want to play Do or not or not? Do I have a choice? Well, yeah, I suppose. What would happen if I said, do I want to play? I play it with myself. I'm all right to be on company. Is this one of the, their crispy cream rostre or not? Because they have some unusual names, Andrew. I'm not familiar with their word. Do or not. Or not, do or not. The caramel swell.

Do or not. No, it's the caramel swell. Caut you out, got you. The glazed, brew blueberry. I forgot a dull one. I won't go with do or not. No, it's... one, I would go don't. No, it's... They only do a glistraspring.

Caramelized biscoff. I'm beyond caring at this point. Don't you hate this, don't you? It is dull that you do, it's as I encourage you, that's correct. I would don't encourage me, oh no, I was going to keep saying... The original handbag. What? Yeah. Donut.

Not a donut. Oh, a Ziff Andrew. Nutty Henderson. LAUGHTER The Nutty Henderson. Not donut, not donut. It's Nutty Chocolata. The ring glazed crawler.

Tsh. Not donut. It's a donut, I don't know. It's a doughnut, I don't know. What? It wasn't good that, was it? No. It fills things out in advert for the doughnut company's well, it's shameful, isn't it?

I've never used them because I don't say that. Have you seen the price of them? Yeah, expensive, but the round one with chocolate on top and custard inside is pretty, it's delicious. I can't eat it. I can't eat it because of me healthy. Well, I've spoken with my old friend, don't you? I might ask later on.

Do you want to, are you going to still be thin Richmond? I've got two weeks left. I think I'm in a couple of weeks. You don't want to be Lord Fistikovs? No, no. Oh, the downtown Ponds? Not the downtown Ponds, not my, you know what I mean? How about Easy Time Eagles Cliff? Oh, if it had been Easy Time Matthew. Oh, some of that, I might have gone for it.

I come back with you. Well, Andrew, I'm really tempted by Fistie Cups. Lord Fistie Cups. Would you be willing to bring Fistie Cups back or is it one week only offer? I'm not gonna say, I'm just gonna say it on the table now for you to take me chance, and I'll stick with them Richmond.

Would you like in there? Would you like to be Zamzot, Emperor of Viberty and the other fabulous Cape made of walnuts and aluminium. Yeah, he lost his job at maplons for nicking hdmi cables that Zamzot, Emperor of Viberty and I've got any other options. No, it's just that one. You've got to take it. All right, Zamzor, how are you doing? How about our eighth enrichment?

So Steve McClaren, who was summoned this week to meet Tony Fernandez in the Chairman's office at QPR, which stands for Andrew. What does it stand for? It's for our Rangers. I didn't know until I went last year. They're London's Irish club, did you know that? No. It's like you're meant to have an affinity.

If you're Irish, you're a QPR fan. Yeah, is that it? Yeah. Like if you're a scaffolder, you're got an affinity with West Ham, right? That's my own standard. So, it's something to meet Tony Fernandez in the chairman's office. He's a bit worried, Andrew, because they're a bottom of the league after three games. Very much so, yeah.

I know, points, right? So Steve is sat in his own office in his underpants, you know, eating some jelly and carnation. Yeah. He's with Casper. He says, oh, dear Casper, I'm all in a pickle. I don't know up from down honestly. In a word I'm shitting out sprix. Shall we just go home and watch Poirot? Well on hearingless Casper slides out of a drawer, bringing with him a light blue short

sleeve shirt. polyester and a yellow and blue striped tie. Steve picks them up. Oh Casper you little wonderful. It's a BHS polyester comfort fit with breathable ampeting certs. Where did you get this? There is rare as worms in top hats. Well, Casper just winks. You know, and that way, as Andy.

You know, that's sort of been your encarmware. I can say, is anything with one of these stretch across my chest? So Steve puts on the shirt and tie and steps into a pair of M&S elasticated worst tarnish blue jeans with a slick kick on the flare. Well, he's London guy, he's London guy, with your big bag of pepper and a lovely smat. So he puts his propose around his neck, pops Casper in and strides round to Tony Fernandez's office. Oh Tony. So what you got to say for yourself McLaren? This is not the start of the season we expected.

We are already nine places away from a glorious 15th place finished. Explain yourself. Is it alright for let Casper run around a bit Mr Fernandez? Yeah sure it been. Oh what a lovely carpet you've got Mr Fernandez. 100% wool with super-garde treatments if I'm not mistaken. Yeah no mistake. Would you like a bite of me crispy pea not fun and laughter bar Mr Fernandez? No no I don't, I have some tomatoes already.

Are you sure? It's like nutty-shite but with a chocolate curtain. Yeah I'm sure as hell I'm sure. This office is quite extensively glazed Mr Fernandez. You might want to draw the blinds when you're not here to protect the carpet from sun damage you know. Look, cut the crap Maclamis and explain the gun I'm awful start to the season. How are you picking your team?

What are your tactics? What are your goddamn tactics? So, Steve says, I'll tell you Mr. Fernandez, just listen. I chose the team. from the adults in the squad I put the one with gloves into the goal, for my defence I choose the tallest lands, and in midfield I put the brightest boots And then up front, I put one fat, one thin And a winger to take corners that we win I tell them all to pass the ball around

and try their best not to damage the pitch Come on, if we lose the ball, try to get it back If we win the ball, try to mountain attack but most of all keep your jerseys clean Back if we win the ball, try to mountain attack But most of all, keep your jerseys clean I know muddy boats in the changing room If Casper sees a player trying hard He notes his name and writes it down

And then At the end of the match We give that man a fun and laugh the bar If we lose the ball We try to get it back If we win the ball We try to mount an attack But most of all make it look like you're trying And if the crowd says you are, say they're lying Oh yeah, boot back to Bap-Bap-Bap

For Nandlafter in the chocolate cuddle Do Bap-Bap-Bap for Do Bap-Badood For Nandlafter in the chocolate cuddle Do Bap-Bap-Bood for Do Bap-Badood For Nandlafter in the chocolate soothes I tell the team That boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie do bat boopie And that full time, when we've lost again, we all pretend that we're very upset. What do you think Mr Fernandez? I think it's bullshit. You got three games to get four points or you're out on your saggy ass.

Yes Mr Fernandez, of course Mr Fernandez. Hey what's that on the top of your head? Is it a kippofin? No, you're doughnut. That's me hair, Ireland. My hair! Oh, fuck off with the songs already and do one! So, Casper and Steve leave the office. Hey Casper, lad. I think this might be our easiest destroyer exit to date. Casper gives him a smile and a wink and they both tuck into a crispy, fun and laughter bar.

Hit nutty-shight in the chocolate cuddle. So hungry, there's a lot of that on the QPR. Yeah, well, you know what, the destroy an exit, I think he's perfected at this time you're right. What you're right, he's got a fault with it. He's done so many of them though. The more you do, the better you get. What I will say that's true.

He's got the players washing their hands. So that could be the beginning of turning it around. Yeah. And he doesn't allow muddy boats in the change. No, because you know what? He's going to get it carpeted. And he is high standards though. That's the beginning.

That's the basis of everything. Yeah. And he picks his team. He gets the big lads of defense. It's a fat order nothing one up front, and then... And then on the bright boots in midfield. Yeah, sticking to see each other. Hey, middlesbrough got a player now.

Young lads who's come through, cod Lewis Wing. Lewis Wing. Wing, yeah. And where's black boots? And it really does catch your eye. Come, always black boots. Does he wear black boots? It catches your eye now.

Don't know, yeah. What's it like? What's in Bor now, doesn't it? Don't know, yeah. What's it like? What should burrow? Because they're winning at the minute, is it? Well, I've been to Millwall, that's to each exciting end. Yeah.

We weren't very good. And I've been, what did I got where else to? I went to Bristol last week. Did you go to Bristol City? You went that one? Yeah, to be honest, you know what? Grim, have you ever, you always, the Bristol City's grounds are beautiful.

Have you been to Bristol City's grounds? Beautiful ground, Andy. It really is. You know what you should do. Get yourself one of them old, one-armed bandit fruit machines, right? Yeah. Get it rigged so that when you pull the handle, three pebbles come out.

Right. Don't go to the matches just when you win, pull the handle and then you three pebbles come out and they represent three points. And what's the end game? You have a bucket full of pebbles. It's it's it's throwing a river. Better than watching Tony Puelis as a team. Well, Andrew, you know, this pool is type of football. I mean, let's not get too football here, but, you know, we're the second top scorer as in all four divisions, you know, I mean, and that's only because West, West, West, Brom puts seven past someone in it. That's someone must be top show, Lee. No, we have seven in our last two games.

It's not enough to take another mighty borough. I'm sorry, but it isn't. Do you catch a bus into Sunland Town Centre generally? Or do you waddle there with the skateboard under your arm and be... I have a motor car, Bob. You have a motor car. I've got a motor car, I use my motor car. Has it got decals? What? Decals, you know, has it got like decals?

I mean, you know, is it sponsored by a fucking Pete farmer, or something? No, it's not. All right. Sponsored by a flettigor mint, actually. Is it? Yeah. So it's got a picture of your, your, my fat heads.

Yeah. On it. Do you have your, I'm brought your rice, Andrew. It's nice, I'm brought your rice. Yes so it's got a picture of your my fat heads. Yeah, do you have your umbrellas your rice Andrew? It's nice and rosy rice. Yeah, it's good. Do you have it hot or cool generally? I have it called out of a tub You have it called and do you generally have jammin it or just on its own just on its Todd? Do you ever have it hot? never Wow, can't be bothered I might do a do a survey, I thought I'd much prefer it hot. Well I have the little snack tubs, I have the stuff one of them and I'll have

them called on the move, as I want me to wait at the motor car. Alright Andrew Dawson on the move. Yeah, I keep like coming down the steps of a big building at Canary Wharf. Hey I'm just on me way to the grooming salon. Yeah. Just jet-setting from one engagement to the next. Quick boss, have a number of you. You're such a busy boss. Have you got any more questions? Yeah, you've got to inquire about me else. Not yet. Okay. I've got three questions from my kids for you. Oh great. Bob, you're a very small man. Yep. Ever been up your own chimney? No, but it's always been a dreamer man.

I told him once I was doing a, you didn't really need this answer and apologies, but once I was in a pub with Oli Reid, Oli Reid, somewhere in Cotswold or somewhere, and he said, get up that chimney sailor He's fucking frightening. He's dead bit. No, this was about 15 years ago and the um, I had little he's got tiny little thin legs See and a big pigeon chest, right, all these trousers were covered in Were you? Did he have his trousers off or the fluids nice? They just went in them So I didn't not I just went in them. So I didn't, it not realizing it was a genuine,

you know, get up the chimney, who Christ, I just like giggled or whatever. And he went on to tell me that it was a big, an ingle, knuck fireplace that we're used to come to this pub, get pissed out of his head, and sleep up and on the ledge up in the chimney. So it can be done. I once actually took a pitch to show to the BBC, celebrities up the chimney. Did you can be done. I want to actually took a pitch to

show to the BBC celebrities up chimneys. Did you? Yeah, I swear down across my heart I hope to that I promise I did. This is just laugh you out of the building. Yeah, but I think it was being quite good. Didn't even give you an umbrella on the way. Honestly, you don't think it would be quite good. It's just like a little camera's inside the chimney. Well, let's crowdfund it. Chill off. I'm Andy? I'm not finished yet. Sorry, I'm so sorry. Have you ever dug a tunnel and hidden it from your wife? Um, no, I haven't done that. Well, I don't want to add from your wife.

Well, I don't know. She's just what the kid said. Well, he's a thought that is in a kid's man, there would have sort of, wouldn't they have said like a baddie or the coppers? Well, they'd be thinking that a wife's are enemies. You want to look into that, Andy? No comment. Have you ever got your smaller hand stuck in any kind of jar? Inside the jar. Yeah, I once got me unstuck in a nice

coffee jar and I just wash it off. What were you trying to get out of it? Coffee. What the fuck do you think I was trying to get out of it? Well, we did have your marbles in it or something. No, it had a little bit of coffee in there that I was trying to get in this. And you were trying to get it with your hand. A little bit. You know, when you get hard and coffee,

just grab the bottom. Was this when you all put it? This was when I was a student. Yeah, I bet it was. Oh, it was such a good student. I long-cab, black, academic, curb. No, you didn't. You know what I mean?

I like a satchel. But you did all my important papers in that I was studying. But you didn't. You know what I mean? Like a satchel. But you didn't have my important papers in that I was studying. But you didn't have a long spoon? Didn't I? Well, no, I didn't have a long spoon. No, I just had a tiny little stick. Would you like to hear it from Gangs of EPL? Oh, God, I'd love to.

Well some at White Lions you know from the World Cup at a meet-up, preseason meet-up in Ari's mum's garage you know for a preseason party. You know practice some of the dancing, check out Harry's ant farm, make the wrong ice lollies top in Ari's mum's garage you know for a preseason party you'll practice some of the dancing check out Harry's ant farm make there are nice lollies in the garage fridge watch a bit of the flumps take New York order some jewelry order some jewelry from GMTV do a bit of finger pain that's sort of thing sounds like a nice party don He's done it and row It's alright. So Aris there waiting with his mom and first to arrive is Jordan Anderson, yeah

Hello, hurry, Harry's mom. Did you know it was actual Puma that invented screw fix? You know I got the India maybe pack up count the 10 me at mine. Could you stay like? Would you like a hot dog Jordan says? Mae'n ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn ddech yn d I should keep indoors and not get too excited on not eat anything too sugary or with foreign spices in it. Would you like a hot dog, Philip? Says Ari's book. Oh, he's pleased. Oh, they'll hold on. Could I just check that the meter is blended watery? Be mum's not keen on me getting a lot of taste. Bloody hell, Philip! Says Ari, it's a hot dog you're not going to get fireworks are you? Honestly stop being such a boot moat a cut-frap. Na-t-e-na-t-e-t! Harry, I bought you a balloon. God, to blow up it's painful and it's awful. Still a drop in. That's very kind of you, Eric.

Mum wants to know if you would like a hot dog. Can I have some time to think? Oh, just making mum mum. Like, who wants to see my ant farm? Yes, please, says Philip. Eric. Yes. Oh, 17 tens of girls' names says Jordan. Just didn't come Debbie.

He's really excited. Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads, lads. What is it Debbie? You like you've got a secret burden in a hole in your pants or at the very least you've had interesting thoughts? Lads, lads, lads, lads, lads! Oh, come on, Spit it out, you front of Busted! I've gotten your gold celebration for the new season! It's muckstravagant and it really is quite something! Is it a sort of wave

Says Eric no Jordan says do you like you? You like you figure you know like a bus driver when he sees a nut job No, but it does involve my finger Says Philippine you stick your finger up your ass and then suck it, you know. My mum gets regrettably with me when I do that, like. No, I'm not Northern of Philip. Harry says, do you make your fingers like you are holding a knife and fork

and pretend that you're eating a fixed slice of ham? Debbie, no, I can see I've got to have to show you. So Debbie does his new celebration thing, you know, where he makes a circle round himself. Oh, yeah, I've been trying doing that. I haven't bothered. No. Using his thumb and his forefinger, you know,

like he used to pretend he had a monocle or something. Debbie says, what's your reckon? Philip says, what's it to represent like, you know, are you looking very strongly at something of interest? Do you know like a very shiny button or a new coat? Does it mean, says John, you've picked a long track with your man. No, says Debbie. Eric, speaking much more fast than you'd normally expect, that's good.

Is it the cheeky way of at Latin Benz's ass? No, Eric, I'm not a boot smock ogler like you. No, I've got it, says Harry. Is it just really different? And Mark, you're out as a special player who must be taken very seriously, Debbie. Yes, that's it. And I'm in serious, we have a cottage pie

in a finger, a fudge on top.. Come on all of you, you try it! So they all do the circle around their eyes and just as they do, Ari's mum comes in with a player of hot dogs. Mum says, oh what's up as late and Ben's just arrived or something. Eric told you! Debbie starts crying and Harry puts his arm around him don't take any notice of mum Debbie it's a lovely little celebration Debbie said do really think so yes I do come on let's get this party started and talking to mum's hot dogs then they all stand around and eat the hot dogs in silence. That's the end of it? Are you glad?

No, I know that all I could have had more of that, but it makes end of it. So, is yours in it as like a weird examiner in Lert and Burns back side? Yeah, I wasn't expecting that when I saw him do it the other way. Well, I should have said that's what Mrs. Ken. That's her interpretation. That's her interpretation. That's not necessarily for legal reasons. That's not necessarily what Deli Ali is doing. What he does that.

What he does that. What he does that. What he does that. Your blah, blah, blah, blah. Now, know what you know now. If you could go back and sit down with your younger self. Maybe over and lovely nourishing bowl of pad Thai. Would you dispense any particular advice about personal

grooming or maybe yoga? Who are you by the way? I'm just a guru. You're a guru. Do you have an em, Mr. Guru? No, not yet. Just a guru service. Would you give any advice to your younger self about yoga? Personal grooming. I'd say not to get involved with yoga, personal grooming wise. Just use a very simple soap, you know, not perfect. You think you've handled those areas well in your life, handled them with a plum. I like you, Guru. Yes, I think so.

I think so. I have a piercing, anything you change there you've done? And then you use? I have had my earpiece skill over it. I regret. Any infections? I regret it. I got a short infection for a short time. So you tell your young yourself don't do that? I'd say don't, I bet you're a piece. Well, but your ward works. And you regret, sir? Yeah, big regrets. Yeah. Okay. Like a maintenance. Well, just add that to your doss works. Yeah big regrets. Yeah okay like a maintenance. I'll just add that to your dossier. Okay thank you bro. How much do I owe you? 45 pounds. Very reasonable.

Have you watched anything I tell you this week? Well I've got into a bad growth for our listeners in terms of recommendations. I spent two weeks doing all the breaking bad. Yeah. And I've just spent the last about 10 days doing the first four seasons, three or four I can't remember, of better call Saul so that I'm nice. I've gone back and gone to do them all again. So I'm nicely poised for the new season. That's that's not a problem. I haven't got anything new, but I've got a couple of things I want to check out because other people have recommended. Okay, let's hear about it.

One of them is on Sky at Atlantic and it's called Succession. It's been written by, it's an American thing, but it's been written by one of the Lads who wrote Peepsure and the thick of it. Right, you know. And it's got Brian Cox in it. Right. A lot of people on the Twitter are saying it's really good, so I want to check that out. And there was this thing on BBC 4 last night called The Secret Life of landfill,

which is, you know, it's been a good time. 90 minutes long as well. 90 minutes of landfill. And the fella in it looks a bit like Jeremy Corbyn but in a hard hat. So it ticks a lot of my boxes. So I'm going to watch that on the eye play. But just to be clear, they're not recommended.

They're not recommendations. They're, I'm just, what's the word I'm looking for? Just highlighting them, if you like. Okay. Play a placeholder. That's the placeholder. So are you inviting our listeners to maybe check them out? Yeah, I'm not going to see it don't. Yeah, but then they can join in as it were joining in the conversation. What, on like social media? No, when we do the next one, I don't know, this is the new social media, honestly, for fuck's sake. I don't know. This is the new social media. Honestly, for fuck's sake. Barry or Mona, you know, we all love him, don't we, you know,

hour in a way. Yep, yep, yep, yep. So what's up, Barry? That's what you're all wishing you could be saying at me, don't you? Be needing a lot of skir, you know the Icelandic health slurry? It's technically a cheese, but I call it a yogurt, because I think yogurt better fits my persona as a healthy fitness lifestyle but he co-tell smoother runny. It's on the sour side of dreary, but delivers a sweet after punch. You can take that as a reccomendationy only only. I've discovered a little Italian artisanio cafe just behind the railway station. I think being the young lady barista are going to become entwined and involved with each other, you know. Let's

get involved press print on the invite style scenario. She's from a European base and is as cute as a box of buttons on a lacy bed spread. Her name's Lottie, which is quite appropriate really because I recognize one the Lottery having her in my life situation. She's not actually told me a name but I saw it on the staff rotor that was visible from the corridor to the shit-a-do hut at the back of the calf. Having said much too yet, just ordered my regular skinny capper choo-choo every day. We exchange glances when I apple pay for the choo-choo, and sometimes Andrew, a look, says more than a thousand poems. When we do get to speak properly, I'll probably tell her about my incredible life.

Once she's heard the major bullet points, kitchen island, mountain bike, nespresso rig, she'll probably be like putty in my dextrous hands, but that is the future runie. For now it's pretty frantic at work, rentals got mental this month. I'm heading for a 10% commission bag. If fruition occurs, I'm straight down the Audi dealership and buying a new set of 20 inch alloy biscuits for the TT. Have to buy them on a Sunday because me and the Lads at Audi tend to crackle on for up to 20 minutes. Tent to crackle on for up to 20-30 minutes once the chat starts running fluid. 20-30 minutes once the chat starts running fluid. Got a few new gadgets or gadgets recently? All purchased online with no comeback, happy chapi or return to send the stipulation.

Got a dimmer control from a bedside lamp. I can take the ambience from horror to hot tub in the turn of a dial. Got a machine that makes a beep and gives it reading. Got a hot chocolate proper. That. Ha ha ha ha ha. Got a hot chocolate fruffer. Fruffer that basically pops a cloud on top of your nighttime throat sauce. Anyway, got to move on and bring knowledge into other people's lives. I'm a precious commodity, and I run my own distribution network.

Have a canpachu on me, Signori, and don't ever forget that my life is the life to aspire to Ciao and Bella As Barry there got some go himself a new gadget like he's machine there with a grape He backs a bait when gives out a reading very useful All I feel being what I'm doing is calling the year wood on a welcome year old to another edition of FAKE GOAL LEGIT Tom Littlewood This week we've got a special show presentation of FAKE GOAL LEGIT and my contestant is the most economically viable celebrity we could find

Mr. Bob Mama from BBC 2's falling over near the water show Hello welcome Bob Mama from BBC 2's falling over near the water show. Hello, welcome Bob Mama. Hello, Tom. Not in. I'm going to give you three shopeys facts and all you have to do is tell me if there's faith. Oh, legit. Fagology.

That was deliberately getting us in simple for you because of your condition. Number one, Prague Rock keyboard legend Rick Wakeman is unable to sleep and that's his got a folded bath towel clenched between his thighs. Is that a fake? Legit. Oh, it's like it was actually the late Rick Parfit from Steyes Club. True story. Number two, Fises Rossi, also of Steyes Club. Yeah. Once pushed a tiny ball bearing up his nose when he was eight and it never came out. False. Fake ol' G.

Fake. Yeah, it's fake this one. He's a like it, don't do this. Fake. Yeah. Number three, last word. When he was eight, Rick Parfitt of Status Quo pushed a tiny ball bearing up the nose of Francis Rossi.

Also, Status Quo, and it never came out. Now it's important to add that neither of them knew they were in Status Quo at that time. Okay, well it's fake. I got it. It's clearly fake. Okay, well it's quite... It's quite a good... It's clearly faith. Whoa! Yeah, this is spike!

Did it, yeah. You see him upset, don't? Now it's alright. You're not gonna put this time, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, because you got him all right. Is a consolation prize you can have? Well, I won, so I don't need a consolation. I've only got the consolation prize. Alright, I'll take it.

It's a weekend pass for the showbiz center. Maybe you could give it your go for an endosan. No, I won't be giving it to Andy Dawson. No. No, it's a showbiz center. Are you sure? The clothes in the world, Dom, you know, it's showbiz center. I'll take you.

No, we'll be lovely gestures if you would give it to him. It would be a nice gesture, yeah. We'll appreciate it. It would be very appreciated. An empty one because the wouldn't let him in. Because he's birthday last month. Was it really? Yeah. No, I don't want to give it to him. No, I birthday last month? Was it really? Yeah it was. Yeah?

No, I don't want to give it to him. No, I'm not going to give it to him. No, well never mind. What do you think of Andy Darsen your arkey? He's brilliant. He's brilliant. He's brilliant. I listen to always podcast.

Even the ones that people don't listen to. Well thanks for playing. Thank you all the kid, Bob Marmer. You are not a prick. Thank you for having me. You know you were doing doing them Peter Bayesley last week you know we did a bit of take yourself. Oh yeah would you like to do some more Peter or would you like to take you some or you can take yourself Mrs. Bayesley do you want Peter or a bit of both can I do a bit of both. Alright so first off your first

challenges Peter needs to say How do you like your poor cheese love? I'm not giving you a clue. Oh You go Oh, let me put you a little and like me poor cheese runny and buy that I mean very Fuck I really try that I like me poor cheese runny and buy that I like me put his money and by the army very fucking R.I.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S Rockwell Mote Rew. Forgan shot obvious, forgan dial. Forgan shot obvious, forgan dial. No, coming up is like, I'll do the Peter.

You'll do the, you're a good lad, Peter. Cause that's the key one, isn't it? Okay. No, I've done a, a late five egg scrambles for you, you know, for while you're watching police and the setters, like. You're a good lad, Peter. You're a good lad, Peter.

Well, I've got to end it all there. That's fair enough for me, because I want to go back home. Bob, you're looking, Rod Stewart, it's still sailing. Oh, man. I mean, it was 1975, what a long time to spend on the water isn't I'm pretty sure as well. I've seen him micking some land beers. I don't think he ever said he

was permanent. Live sure. Do you think he just docks in order to fulfill professional commitments before taking to the seas once again afterwards? I think it's a question of choice. Sometimes he sells. Sometimes he does. I've looked on his Twitter feed there's no indication either we're so I don't know I thought you might know I don't know Andrew All right, wow okay fancy a wrestle after this yeah, we're a quick one. All right Thank you.