Athletico Mince - Ep. 70 - Warhammer

Episode Date: November 23, 2018

Roy Hodgson pops in for a chat, there’s a fish quiz, updates from Beardsley, the guru and Homeowner, a Scottish song and lots more… Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music I forgot now to do this. Okay, right, well, so... Thought we had started. Right, Andrew, welcome back to me. Thank you. I suppose to you to me. Thank you. I'm supposed to use well. Thank you for welcoming me.

What did you miss most about me? I'm sure there's something you must have missed. You know, dear God, I hadn't given it any thought really. Can I just say I just missed you in general? That's all right, the whole package. The whole, yeah. Everything of them. Yeah.

I wondered if maybe you'd missed me ointments mostly because I know you always like to sample I've been online and I've found some alternative resources for the ointments. They're not as good as yours, but They got me through I won't I'm a tub of was it. It's called something Delamé sort of something and it was 150 quid for a pot and that was meant to make you look youthful. Okay, yeah, but it just made me twinswallow.

Because I put it all on my tongue, I wanted a really young tongue. Yeah, I wondered if you might have missed the bowl of tam po'po, I always bring you hot tam po'po I bring. To be honest, I hadn't missed that at all. I've become an inconvenience if anything. But you must have missed my selection of names for you to choose from. You must have. Oh God, like the desert misses the reen, as I think that song said.

First up, my eye offer you Papa Shit Shovel. Right? Imagine a father, right? Oh, the weakest flimsiest shovel on the street. Oh. But it's snored hard and everyone's out clearing up. That is the embarrassment that is Papa shit. Have you been delving into my past history because that kind of happened to me last Christmas? You dad had a shit shovel? No, I had a shit shovel. I had a snow shovel

and it snapped it off when I was shoveling the snow. So did you? None of the nippers, none of their snap, but mine did. Maybe it was because I was shoveling really hard. Yeah. And getting all the snow out the way. Yeah. To find tradition, you're probably living in terrorist hours then, so you've got a ten of them. Ten of them. Ten of them.

I live in a fungalore, Bob. Yeah, you do. So what about laughter in Saint Martin, right? I'd like this one. I did see your top it's up for grabs. It used to be described as a right fucking hope when it is at heart college students, you know? But his laughter tally has seriously declined

since those days. And now he raises that little or hardly any laughter in his job at inferno rocket plastics. Is it his fault? Is he not funny anymore? Or does these audience changed? Seymour, Patta, juvenile patty. Right, yeah, Tony Yomah.

That's laughter in Seymour, or you could be Chance Pedigree, yeah? Voted labour all his life, but won't be voting labour anymore because he's in prison for armed robbery at his local branch of the Sunglass Hut. I'll go for him. You'll go for him. Is that my last option? Chance pedigree, yeah. Oh you said he rode the hot dogs. Now it's been a while I'll change it for the day. I'll be that last one. I forgot what it was. Chance pedigree, no? Thank you.

I've only got, well I've got two for you. Lord Fisticuffs. Okay. A while ago you said that you'd like to be offered it again at some point. It is good, he's a tough fighter, any? He is, yeah. He comes out swinging. Yeah, it gets a knack on. His top hat usually comes off when he's fighting, boy, it doesn't care. Okay.

So there's him. And then there's Travel Probe Tube, which is... I'm not willing to get it. It's 50% less heavy than the previous Probe Tube's, and it works around the world, so you don't have to get a region-specific attachment to use abroad. Well I admit that that is a bonus but I've been busy while you've been aware. I'm not interested in probe tubes so I'll take Lord Fistikuf. Right you could be Lord Fistikuf's fitler dear then. So, um, Sunderland, life in Sunderland, trading you alright, Andrew? Uh, Midland, you know, Midland. I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not underwhelmed, I'm just overwhelmed by it all.

Okay, well I imagine that their signs are going up for some Christmas signs for the shops. Here comes Christmas. Oh, do you, Christmas chicken now? And didn't forget our past nipship, dip as Romanian, Xmas Blue Drink, one pound a liter, hurried before our premises get looted. I was in something last week. I was in something at the shopping centre. I was in something at the shop in Santa. I know. And here's some of the things I overrun.

Alright, okay. Come on then. Oh, Column, go and nick us some monster ones from Smith's. The sheep will remind me that Gwyd yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn ymwyr i'n gwybod yn next to Greg. Or Jasmine will you look at that display with the baby Jesus in the wooden bucket, all wrapped in tin foil and serenaded by hot wheel boxes. I could weep in and be very excited. I'm going to leave them all with a corner of a massive alcation called Pat. Please report to the information curve. There is something hanging out of it's ass that looks like jewelry, but our tons have currently been used to remove a ton from the at sculpture.

So, Sunlands getting bubbling for Christmas. Yeah, yeah, it's getting lively. All of that is very accurate, after sir. So, have you got a quiz for us? I've got a quiz because you've been a efficient oven, yeah. For a quiz part? I've got a quiz because you've been a fishing haven't you? For a while. How was it?

It was alright how interested are you? Not really. Not really well. Slightly less interested than I am in your health. We caught some fish. Good. I fell over. Yeah.

And we drank some beer. More of the same. More of the same. Well, I've got to have a fish quiz for you. Go on then. Fish or not a fish it's called. Okay. Here we go. Itchy glow ball.

Sorry, I'll start that again. Itchy glow ball blow fish. Is that a fish or not a fish? Fish. Not a fish. Itchy glow ball blow appeared on the 1988 Cocktail Twins album Blue Bell Noll. Okay.

Slippery dick. Fish or not a fish? No, I imagine it's a pudding. So not a fish. Slippery dick is a fish. Oh fuck. Sugar hiccup fish. Fish or not a fish? Fish. Sugar hiccup appeared on the 1980s. Three cocked, oh twins album, head over heels. Three more to go. We over soon. Higgins eye perly muscle. Fish? Oh, not a fish. Well, if it's a muscle, it's not a fish. I'll go fish.

It is a fish. Well done, one out of four. Serpent skirt eel. Fish. Fish. Fish, fish, fish. Not a fish. Serpent skirt appeared on the 1996 cocktail twins album,

Millican Kisses, their final album. And lastly, 50, 50 clown fish. Serpent Skirt appeared on the 1996 Cocktooth twins album, Milliken Kisses, their final album. And lastly, 50-50 Clown Fish. Oh yeah, that's a fish. That's not a fish. Ah! 50-50 Clown appeared on the 1990 Cocktooth twins album, Heaven or Las Vegas. Oh dear, how do you do to it? So you did well really badly. You've been fishing for two and a half months months you've come back and you only know one fish. I've had an update from Peter. I like knob. When you're setting in you know and I'm still stuck in it on, you know, following the trouble, the following matter, the club like, you know. So I thought I'd tell you a little bit about how I keep the

house warm, you know, in the winter months like. Well, I've got a guest powered comedy by Laney kitchen, it provides hot water for the room where it is and the chowryl in the bathroom. Mae'n gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweithio'r gweith However, briefly, I always slip on me puffer puffer jacket. If I'm just nipping out in a bin, I won't let a puffer jacket, but we'll just use the four press dudes to secure the front. That is the built, you know, of having a dual fastening system on your puffer jacket. So, that's a nice tip, you know, if you're out and about puffer puffer shopping. Dog dead.

You know, they're like, you know, and I popped out in the bins. I found a packet of picker onion, months ago, and she said, the wife must have left in the puffer. She often bows at night in the hospital, you know, to have a leg drink. So, I stood in the hall and I had a cup of you know, and lovely and crunchy, lovely, crunchy, crunchy, Inau'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw' You fucking thief! I could hear you crunching, even with police innocentness on four fucking pelts. So I want the fuck to think you're doing it, my fucking monster monster, creamy little clown! Errr, oh, well, er, look love, I'm sorry I've been reviewing with me heavy crunching, and your munching. I am a'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw'r yw' You know any degree of... You know any degree of... You know, and me, you know. Don't fucking talk back at me, you fucking dial.

Or I'll give you another fucking foster home haircut. I'm sorry, you know, Fred. Now get your fuck out, sorry ass, down the offie. And get me two more bags of fork and pickled munchies. Yes, no, I'm sorry, love, like you know anything else that I could get you. Ah, yeah, yeah, fucking right. Get us a bottle of eggnog and a bottle of advocate and wash down me fork and night poachies. Oh, okay, love. wash down me for a night Portuguese. Ok, and make sure the egg nog is very fucking viscous. I don't want any of that cheap running muck you fucking cheap first shit.

So, you know, there you go, really. Lessons for everyone there, you know, not take. What doesn't actually belong to you, you know. Anyway, fast forward, Bob, I'm in the middle of the day and I'm sat down in quite a little world. Obviously, the chemistry, chicken lap. And I'm in a good old stare about a little chicken laps me. I think it's like the non-belumpy chicken really what gets me

loved up you know so what can I say you'll love me I can say you quite a few cadbury's celebration wrappers by my feet that's very nice it hints at good times Mae'r gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith i'n gwaith about the local panor, speed the pan that it is and it's as thick as thick and dumb. I got dumb and upset that you know, oh he isn't, it's stuck with all worry and a boat stuffy movie. Anyway, Bob, I've got me a little job book, I'll read me a short, I'll just go with you, cook a little joke, you know before I go, so you go with him, hope you like him, you know. I say eggs are going up again, because I didn't want any kids. When I got home, they were still there.

I was in the cemetery, saw a blow blow it up from behind the grave stone Morning I said no, I'm just dumb in the shit man That's already bug so One paper be as lead There's only one paper of beer to eat. I'll see you, Bob. Well, Peter there. The bow opposite the chemist.

Nice to catch up with him. Hey, and that pantomime with dick out with dick and domin. Yeah. My son's in that. You're kidding me, I son. My son is one of the lost boys in Peter Pan. Oh, good for him. This is the son of the Empire.

Have you seen him rehearsing it? He hasn't started rehearsing yet. He's got a very, very tough schedule. Both rehearsals. As he gets beaten. I don't think he has, he just runs about a bit. To start though, isn't it? No, lost boys, but two shores of the day, hard work.

Oh well, be good for him. For him and for him. And young them. I've negotiated a good deal as well, so we're all doing very nicely out of it. What you're getting dipped is. Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Of course, you had a good day as well, so we're all doing very nicely out of it. What you're getting dipped is fine. Yeah, yeah.

Hello, I'm Professor Brian Cox from TV and from Outer Space, and I've got another fantastic space fact for you all. Did you know that if you captured all of the stars in our solar system and gathered them all together in some kind of incredible space net, the net you would need would have to be spun from the silk of enough spiders that if you packed them nose to tail, they would form an eight lane motorway from nutsford services all the way to the capital of Venus and back again five times. Now that, I tell you, is a fact. Any of you fancy proving me wrong? No thought not. TTFN Dickheads. I like that. He's got a little bit of a journey to Agnes there,

I know. Yeah, he's a little bit. He's been in England and in Sonland. Maybe, as he might be back again another time. We might not we'll see. Andrew, Andrew, tell, for the time being to tell you, when I came in here to talk sport today, we talk sport by the way. Thanks, talk sport. Roy Hodgson, is he a... Well, let's see, wife,

no, he grabs me, his wife, his big fan of shooting stars. All right. And he said he'd pop in. Okay. If he got a chance, so he might pop in, so he could pop in in two Okay. We got a chance. So he might pop in. Right. I'm gonna say a minute. That'll be good. Would you like to hear a fishing story? Or would you like to hear a Barry

homeowner? What you feeling like? Oh, a Barry homeowner I think. I'll do a fishing story though. Oh right. Right, because it is, no it's quite interesting story out of all this filming and we've got one decent little story and I thought I'd give it exclusively to I thought it's called. Well, thank you Bob. Pretty sure. So the fish on this reservoir in Cornwall

for a fish called a perch. Do you know the perch? I've heard of the perch. Nice name for a fish in it, Andrew. It's lovely. And it's like a predatorate of fish with sharp teeth. And it's got this thin, and dorsal fin, it's called. We're boldly sharp, quite a dangerous bit of kit.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. We use an albete with worms. And the film crew hadn't arrived. We always get there first, set up our fishing in that. So we're just having a nice bit of fishing time. So we're watching our rods, went for a bite. The little fishing up behind us, we've got a callagascooka, right? Which we use, we could use later on because we always have,

do you know that soup I mentioned? That's Swedish soup. I didn't mention that. Some months ago, that made you feel dreary mentioning that soap, didn't it? Yeah. It has again. Yeah. After about an hour, Paul catches Paul, Paul White, I was just sorry. Oh, really? A mute perch, that big.

Hmm. Real specimen. If you're interested in, if you're interested. Did I have all the kit on it? All the fins, all the teeth and all that. After about an hour, Paul catches this lovely perch, right? I'm all the kid on it, all the fins, all the reef and all that. Absolutely, when our pole catches this lovely perch, so we put it in the keep net

so that we can get a shot of it when the camera arrives. Not just as we're doing that, it's not really right to keep our fish in a keep net. The bear lift arrives, right? And that's, it might seem until the story, and the thing is that, no, no, oh, yeah, he's a bit of a job swath, right? And he wants to check our bait,

because you're not allowed to fish with maggots and stuff. He wants to check our hooks to make sure that they've not got a bar on them, because we use like, barbless hooks. And then he asks to see our fishing license. Right. So, but the only thing is,

is if we're caught fishing without a license with it being BBC, you're being big shit, right? We go to a license, are we? Is that not counted? No, honestly, the owner's the mech, I'm me, so Paul's got his license, typical Paul's got his license. I have no idea whether I've got one or not, I like presumed that the production company. Did you just not like say you're each help or something and you know actually fish And you just his me it is a common row of no it's one of those like what the call strict liability things shows your license Right. Oh, that's it. You knock you up a lot of you up or I'd and But I presumed that the production company would just assorted it out right so

He can't he's got a little gizmo. It's a bit bigger than a phone And he can check whether you put your details in and he can check But it won't work because we're in the middle of fucking nowhere. That's stupid. Well, it can't get a signal But Paul has got something have you heard of these called the hotspot? It is car It's a like a Wi-Fi thing. Yeah, it's a nice name for something. Yeah I've got a hotspot. I could dongle. I don't know what he's, I don't know what it refers. I get it, if you want, if you want to, if you want to, if you want to look at it.

So he goes to the cart of phone production and say, well, I hope that I've got a license. So I'm just stood with this fucking bloke when suddenly he picks up the gas canister and fucking specks it over the head. I said, how I said that really hurt? That was really tart. He said, you're a fucking tart. Now take his straws off and feed that perch into your highness beckwoods.

I should have said he's South African. Well I hesitate a little bit, so it cracks me over the other again. So what are my months? Is it Monday? do it, put it in. So I bent, I took me pants off, I bent over and I start to feed the purchase face into myself. Yeah. He says, put it in backwards, you fat prick. I want the dorsal fin to rip into your rectal tissue. I say, I know I won't do it. I just won't do it. So he lights the gas canister, my other thing, and starts heating the blade of a metal spatula thing, yeah? He says, you're trot's bro! Beckwood's Birch or hot spatula! I says, but that spatula will be over 300 degrees. That would cook my shit pipe to paint the broom back. I won't do it, I just won't do it. Then he put a thing in the sand, then he put a figure of something Then he pulls a kitten out of his belly. Yeah, out of his belly this back

He says do it or I'll repeatedly bang this kitten's face against the archer drive around the fishing hut door Well, I can't have that up and on the other cats. No, I know he's a slowly insert the perch backwards And I'm just about to bridge the door so fin part of it when I hear him say, get back in your fucking vehicle you skinny prick! And I look up he's hitting the head with a car fire extinguisher oh my god throwing my pole so I thank Paul we clean off the perch you know and put it back in the net I says how we knew there was trouble you know with this. And he said there was some posters up there in the car park. Right. So that's why he's brought the fire extinguisher. Yeah. He comes round anyway. I said, look, we know

you're not a bear lift mate. What do you do? He says, I work for small engineering company in Python. And you know what the ordinary is here? I says no, I don't. We manufacture the brass cappellings for that very model of portable forerlach extinguisher. Really, you couldn't make it up! And we all laugh and part on reason of good terms. That's good. So I'm going to do well. I'm pleased. Thank you. Did I in any way manage to disguise the fact that that was a South African story?

I knew it was coming. Ah, yeah. Fuck yeah. Oh, hey, hey, hey, what? He's right. He's right. Oh god, he really is. Yeah, I'll get a sail to it. All right, bring him in. All right. Oh, thank you. That's brilliant. Not yet, just two minutes. Well, all right. Thank you poppin' to talk to us. No worries. I'm very fucking happy to be here.

So, Crystal Palace Roy, the season hasn't really taken off yet? Sorry, Robert, but I don't want to talk for Paul. It bothers me stiff these days. Everything that needs say, has been said. Fair enough, so what would you like to talk about Roy? Roy, I'm a... Sorry? Roy, I'm a... Roy, I'm a...

Roy, I'm a... Roy, I'm a... Thank you. What the board game? It's not a board game. It can be played in any of your favourite surface. Six foot by four foot table top, for example. So that's like a hobby of yours, is it?

So who would you play with? Christine Bentechne? Is it Dafflaid daft lad so he generally plays as an oak or goblin Andrew Stamson, that is himself a bit usually plays as a wood elf or fucking halfling Jacob frees for the F1 beauty sport, he likes to play the lizard man. Alright so when the last game you played I mean, he played as a chaos warrior and he doubled me using the scabled spell of plaguing ruin like a dothkunt. I played a stinky with an army of dung vads. Oh I should use more shot with shit. Of course, Warhammer. Warhammer. Warhammer. He's. Yeah, Warhammer.

He's all about tactics, in it with a little bit of look thrown in. So does that help you with your culture? That's what it does, no. So all right, well, so there's a lot of different personalities in Warhammer. Warhammer. Yeah. Does that help you understand the different personalities in the dressing room? Oh no, not at all.

Right, do you actually like football? No, I fucking don't. Sorry Robert, I've got to get to Game Workshop to buy some orcs. I'm going to take on Bint Sikker and his own fucking game. It's been a pleasure, really guys. And what's the game called? Woo, Emma. Sorry, what?

Woo, Emma. Thank you for coming in, Roy! Thank you! There he goes. Isn't that nice Roy, Annie? He's a lovely fella. A bit... angry. I've had an update from Barry O'Mourner.

Oh, yeah. What I'll make you mention earlier. Yeah. Andy, did you watch the... Did you watch the DuPont Story, Ville chemical poisoning of America? No, oh, was that the other night? I just wanted to give a quick telly recommended. Well, can I give you this extraordinary fact from it? Please don't. It might entice you to do it. In order for Dupont to find out whether they were affecting human beings,

right? They needed a sample of blood that wasn't infected with what's called C3, it's the chemical in Teflon, yeah? Right, yeah. So they tried America, and then they tried young people in America. Then they tried the Far East. Then they tried Russia and Alaska. They could not find a sample of blood

in the whole of Earth that wasn't infected with this C3 They eventually did find a pure sample of blood without C3 in it This is the chemical and it was some that I assume it's frozen or whatever Some from some American soldiers that they'd given before they went off for the Korean War. Jesus, so everyone's got this in them. Oh, Andy, it's a big deal yet, because you know what I call this, is cancer. Fuck. So everyone who's, you know, it's a... Whoa.

They should have gone to that. Did you see that tribe in the New Zealanders? No. This tribe that's been completely isolated from the rest of the world. And... They're called Macons, yeah. Yeah, whatever. And some fucking smart arse explorer and Merrick and try to get under their island and go and you know explore and all this sort of thing and they just fight a lot of arisen to him kill the killed the country because why not but they they try but they're specially sailed off because they don't have any

immunization against a flight flow or any diseases or anything so they won't have any of that stuff in them. But if you go and try and ask them if they'll give you a blood sample just file what I wasn't here. So you'd have to kill them. Loose, loose, probably yeah. And just to allow us to run TV, have you watched anything, Dyson Andy? I don't know if it's Dyson, I think it's quite indecent. I've come across this thing on the history channel called Forged in Fire. Have you seen it? It's like British bit of, but with swords. Yes, I'm sure, I'll be watching.

It's quite interesting, because you've got, there are versions pretty much. They're just interested in making swords. They're probably in the world as well. So they just make swords and blades and handles and all that's kind of the blade smiths. That's what I'm saying. And it's a contest to make the best sword.

But then it kind of goes on later and they test out their swords on like fake animal carcasses and stuff. All right, yeah. And they have like fake blood spurt and a constant bit like deadliest weapon used to do that. Is that what it might be the same thing? Woods calls forged in fire.

All right, well, I'll just too quickly because it's probably dull, but everyone knows man versus food. And after a while I got a little bit dull, well unbeknownst to us it's now got a new presenter right and he is gift from the comedy gods. It's excellent. It's certainly worth it, you know, try an episode of that. And I know everyone knows this, but the new making a murder is good. I haven't gotten in. Look at it. It's really good. Okay. There's a sort of Dracula style female, a lawyer that takes over the whole show. Wait, the sound of that. Yeah, well, anyway, Barry Olmone has been in touch. Okay, he's given us an update Yop yop yop yop yop yop yop yop yop Hi, Barry Homo here just a quick update on my incredible life and supporting infrastructure

So recently I've been full on forensic with my kitchen island shine and buff routine So it's four foot by three foot epic slab of white marble effect, Coriatton. First to strip off down to my Tommy hips, under kegs, they hug my butt like a couple of spuds in a condom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I put on a pair of white slippers that I half inched from the Hotel de Valle, yeah, the Hotel de Valle in Bristol. I was there for a regional sales conference, I networked like a fucking athlete who just happens to be a business bastard, bumped into Sue Preston from Guildford, popped a banana in her handbag and gave her a wink. Didn't come to anything. Should have probably left my door open.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, next I climb onto the island using my folder way multi-step height adjusting miracle gadget and remove all dust with a microfiber cloth wrapped around the slippers. It attracts dust like I attract opportunities and leads. Next up I drop a moisture bomb on the slippers. It attracts dust like eye attract opportunities and leads. Next up I drop a moisture bomb on the slab. It's an excise lump of number 7 protecting perfect intense and advanced moisturizing cream. It's the total shit and could bring life back to an axe handle that's being abandoned in a Greek mountain donkey shelter. What I'm saying is that it penetrates deeper than a hung butcher.

Then I take a breaker rune and enjoy a camper-tute you from my George Clooney endorsed coffee unit. It's barris to quality without all the Tom Tittery and fuck aboutness. Extra shot two sucras and a pixie pinch of cinnamon dust. Then it's time for the buff. I slip off the Tommy Herpes quick sniff to check for Tarnish and tie a king-size soft-conditioned bath towel into a nappy. Back up the multi-steps and I ride that slab like a power drill in hammer mode. Might seem like a lot of trouble to go to for a kitchen slab, but I'm telling you brothers and sisters. Once I dismount, the sheen is as spectacular as the talk on my Audi TT. I just sit back in my road man trackie, sit on a canpitude you, and wait for my

business phone to start chopping, like a sparrow in a fat ball factory. So, that's my uptake, Bob. See ya. Well, thanks, Barry. I know of it as well. Oh, god. That made me feel a bit sick. Wait, what, what, basically? Always, just all of it.

You don't like it? No. Oh, I don't think you mean me. I think he means all right, don't you think? The stuff with the banana was, felt wrong. Yeah, well, no, I see where he's coming from. So he popped up a banana in a hand bag and gave her felt wrong. Yeah, well no, I see ways come so he popped a banana in her hand back and gave her a wink. Yeah, you know, is that any more

Disgusting than people flicking through this tinder thing or it's different. It is different Do you have his number written on the banana or anything or some kind of I think it might have had his instructions Challenge in this written on it I think it might have had his special challenge in this written on it. Hello, Robert, this is the Goofoo's here again. The Goofoo is near you. Be calm now. Focke me and chill out, man. How is your personal equilibrium today, Robert?

How are your shoplifting urges? I need to speak over it now. No, I feel reasonably calm. I noticed it wearing a big coat with the deep pockets in it. Have you been off on the rub before you came here today? No, I've given it. I don't go on the rub. Are you sure?

I promise now. What did you get? Rays and Blades filled steak? No, I used to do, I used to get Nick Bacon in the past. I heard the Jewish cell batteries are very profitable items on the black market at the moment. Just say, nothing. Oh, okay, go ahead. Have you been on the dark web yet, Robert?

No, I don't know how you get on the dark web. That's worth it. Look, all the pop-up money you've spent online. Now most of the pubs have closed down. You can't flunk stuff face to face anymore. So I've heard. And the pubs are still open, you can't flunk stuff face to face anymore, so I've heard. And the pubs are still open, they've gone legit, and the licensees don't turn a blind eye, like the used to, it's very sad, changing times as clues.

It's in the same very spiritual, but. Fucking gastro pubs. How are your waterworks, pub? Oh, well not great. Any significant night leaks to speak of? Yeah, one or two. Do you find yourself feeling the urge to pull over when you're touching seven, three hundred euro carriageway? Yeah, the urge has to cross the... Water works emergency because of the adrenaline. As follows? Yeah. Either behind a bush or in plain sight, motorists. No, I would never do it in fact. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Thank you, Gory. You've been, oh, as always, you've been a great help.

Thank you. Yeah, good morning. Yeah, good morning. Yeah, good morning. Right, so I've got a little Scotch tell to tell you I'm done for a while because I think they're probably illegal. But whatever, you know,

these are strange times we're living. Maybe I'll get away with it. Okay. James Murray was just six years, oh, God, I should've said. James Murray was just, James Murray was just six years old when his mother died of an oat fever. It was a slow, painful death.

And at the moment of passing, her face took on the appearance of an abandoned dishcloth. Thirati had a woman died a turn towards the daft that year, due to a blighted oat crop. Young James swore at that moment that he would grow a small crop of healthy oats each year and roll them ready for any future outbreak of oat fever. Fast forward ten years,

and the teenage James was thinking less of oat crops and more of life as it could be on the mainline. He saw himself at hotel chocolate jokingly asking for a room for the night, then into French connection where he would inquire when the next train left for a leo. Then into Clinton Cards to ask for a card featuring both Hillary and Bill, then on to Gap to insist that they sold him some polyfiller, then Miss Selfridge where he would inquire whether the staff thought their boss would ever marry. Finally River Island to ask when the last ferry left for the moonland, Then he would rest a while in

Costa Cofi, where on an adjacent sea would be a lassie fully protected in a bubble heart and a mackintosh. She would lean over at her chosen time and ask, are you a laddy that's been causing her larity in the high street with your joking and your hide janks. I, I may well be he replies, would you care to join me, and be captivated by my wit. I, I would, I will, I have a bubbly personality myself, and would like a slice of that with my beverage. At this point she would stand and remove her and mackintosh. In pursuit of comfort, she wore a tight sage-green nylon polo neck-nether yn perchidio'r gymfod. Shef o'r a'r taits age green nyl yn boll o'n eknydd yr god, ymais ytlyr yw'r reilig, ac yna'r sbattakio'r am aut o'r tath a spell.

A si yw'r plenty srplus, tith yna'n gwyddiol a'r lassi, ddys yna yw'r ystricio'n yng Nghergiyty. Ais ymwch yr ypliad, but yw'r ysfanse can come in handy as I wonder then be. Lift up my top and you'll see. Slowly James rolled up her top to reveal what seemed like a full acre of tat, but it was near the flesh to which he was drawn, but the writing upon it. For by using a David Beckham in Dorsharpy Pinn, she had noted down every

free Wi-Fi code in the area upon Haratat. James applauded like a seal, and his personal pipe tapped gently against his student union card. But suddenly his reverie was interrupted by a loud bang on his bedroom door, and the arrival into his bedroom of the lared himself. «Holly boy, bring me your secret oats. We've been hit by aught blight in the castle, and my wives are turned into ward the daft. I must be away at the castle with haste, just let me fetch a barrel from the cell. The cellar you say, that's all I needed to know.

Call him Orkiel! And with that command into the room bounded the Laird's attack fox Orkiel. But it was no Orkiel's jagged poison teeth that killed James. No, he died in an instant on seeing that the fox had the face of your gun club. The face of your gun club, the face of your gun club. Oh yeah. See ya. Bye. Oh, woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo- Ha ha ha! Kkuh!