Athletico Mince - Ep. 76 - Anti-Tremor Honk

Episode Date: February 25, 2019

Bob brings his honker along, Adrian takes a friend to the Slaughterhouse, Barry signs up to Linkedin, there’s a Scottish tale and visit from Roy… Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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See you after details. It's recording yet. It is recording, start whenever you want. Okay. Okay. Actually, I have brought my uncle today. Oh, let's have it then. What do you think? Nice. Chrisin it. Nice solid honk, yeah. So crisp, you could use it perky to order a salad. Yeah. So is that a salad over there, sir?

So I actually use this, I brought this because I use this to calm the kids down from the room. You know when they're up there on their Xbox isn't that? Is that the dinner honk? Yeah, it's when I need them to cook me tea, fetch me a beer from the fridge. That kind of thing. Yeah. How do you get your kids attention on? I just shout at them, but you know what, you know them, then Google Horn them around speaker things, smart speaker things that you can get. Okay. Are you aware of them? You're looking at me kind of with

the glazed expression. Is it like Alexa or something? It's like that. Yeah, what's the Google version? You can broadcast if you've got them in each room, you can broadcast to the whole room to all the speakers. Wow. So you can make it say, you're doing it's ready. Right. Go down there, clean your teeth. So get the clean the teeth before they're dinner in your house. Afterwards. Or a different time. Yeah, that wasn't the way you broadcast it then. It was a different command. Oh, your children were quite the same process. It's a tidy and one of your children messy. You know, in a bedroom and that.

Yes, we had been taught. Me taught was incredibly tidy. And she hovers a bedroom religiously. And me son is just a slob. When you say religiously, does she wear non-shabitants? Yes, she prayers. She gets it. Yeah.

Hung. Hung. I use it. Yeah. Hong. Hong. Hong. I use this at home, Andrew, right? To get rid of tremors. No. Yeah. So do you know like the tremors,

them worms with the round mouths and the teeth? I thought you were. I thought you were. I thought you were. I thought I found tremors that were on the level. You got a lot of them around you, are we, have you? I got a lot of them in me. Everyone. Yeah. What are the dojo scamp or off when you blow your horn?

Well, yeah, when I blow me on, but when I'm not blowing me on, what they tend to do with the hat, one of the little group, there's three types of tremor worms, right? You've got your masters, your workers, and your visitors, and it's the masters you have to kill because they're the ones that rage, yeah? Yeah So the visit is all about the visitors just passing by they've got you know on the way to Margaret. But anyway they'll still shit that hard while you're a little garden windmill to the main site. Right. So you know that sort of thing. I'm just trying to just tremble three times a day I go over the lawn. The scatter away. They'll be back the next day. three times a day I go over the lawn. SCATTER! SCATTER AWARE!

So they'll be back the next day. Getting the house overnight and climbing up my bull rushes, leaving slime on them in that little bastards. So I've got a name for my... Well, Ronnie, up dogs of course. Yeah. To people call you Ronnie at all in the street. Oh time.

You kidding me up there. This shout out to me across the road. Oh Ronnie! Yeah. Well Ronnie. Yeah. What's to say? Well, Ronnie wears Bob. So you. Oh you get that there yeah. Yeah. You'll be getting more. No. Well you can be Ronnie up dogs, right. But what about let's put a twist on the Ronnie. Yeah what about Ronnie long legs? Yeah I can't like the of that, right? He wears hot pants all the day, right? When he's down the bookies.

And he washes them every night. Religiously. So your daughter would... Every night in an unusual kind of milk, that's Ronnie Long legs. Okay. What about Ronnie Hardhats? Mmm. What's it called?

It's Ronnie Wake, is it? He has this morning Todd in his yellow hard hat and his afternoon wine. He deposits in his white hard hat. Okay. So that's his thing. Then what do you think? Where does he deposit them after they've been in the hard hat? No information.

You live his life when we might find out. Right. The sink. Tempted. Ronnie Hip Hop. No. Ronnie Hip Hop. Right, Ronnie hip hop. Right.

He's had both hips replaced with brass door knobs, right? Yeah. And is due to die from sepsis any day. No. I'm not going to be in then. You're not going to be in? No. You're going to sit.

You're too much to live for. Tempted by Ronnie long legs in his hot pants. Is he the one with the hard hats? No, that's Ronnie hard hats. I'll be Ronnie hard hats. So they just say what he does. Good hard hats. The hard hats. How about you? Hey, three choices for you. Lightning rod. He's a lightning predictor for the insurance industry. He stands on top of churches, tells them when there's lightning coming. Seven percent accurate and they give him 50 quid a month. Seven percent accurate.

I've never said he was good at it but he does does it. I know, I know, he's gonna let people. You want to be a source yet, but someone does good there. Yeah. All right, fair enough. Just squintled Robin. He's a little Robin red breast, but he's constantly got the hump. Where is he?

Kind of stunned Cros, he can't be asked for migrating. He really likes beer and wine, but no one's leaving it out in their gardens anymore. And he shit it, though, in nest. He shit it, though, in nest. So you look what he'll be doing. Come over here. What you're flogging here? Final one. Shit at doing nest. So you're not going to be able to come over here? What you're flogging here? Final one.

The Sterling Silver. Final one, toothy good boy. Yeah. It's got the largest collection of donkey-taiting in northern hemisphere and he's made a suit of armour at 11,000 of them. No thanks. Sorry. Honk your tongue then.

Honk your tongue. Give it a honk. Fingertown. Thank you honk your tongue. Ha! Hey, when I see tongue. Give it a honk. Like you honk, you tongue. Ha, ha, ha. Hey, when I see people who've got a big massive teeth, I say that look, there's been a donkey incident, a donkey's crashed into the back of them.

Something like that. Do you understand? Not really. Okay, well, it's time for a one-off quiz, that sounds over, right? Good. Never to be repeated but will you be defeated? You have on every occasion up to now. Right, now listen hard because it's called Emulsion, Buying, Woosh, Masonry, Oink Bang, Gloss, Dying Gloss, Oink Oink Pop, Clap Clap Clap, Undercoat. It's about paint, Andrew. You did listen. You're a good boy.

Something good boy. What I'm looking for is price per litre. Right. Right. From cheapest to most expensive, or go down go downhill if you want right Exterior masonry paint. Yeah interior gloss interior motion or undercoat stroke primer All right, well gloss is going to be most expensive

followed by is going to be most expensive. Followed by exterior mason, followed by emulsion and the cheapest is the undercourt. Oh, I don't think you even got one right. So so here goes the cheapest at £3.20 per litre is interior emulsion cheap with an undercourt yep you're going you're in for a big fucking show here well I could just use emulsion as the undercourt no you can't why because it hasn't got the properties that are primary undercourt as listen up next at £5.8 a litre is exterior masonry paint yeah right next at £7.10 per litre is interior gloss the most expensive is under court struck primer at £9.20 per litre I I don't believe you. That's your per ogative Andrew but these prices are all from the B&Q website all dual looks great.

They've got a special offer on the other one. No that's ridiculous. It's the trophy and it's really surprising isn't it? So you've learnt some summer. I've learnt you've got to be off your head to use primer. No you're cool. It sails it. It gives a base for the, it's the key to successful decorating. You have just played Andrew, Emotion Buying Woop Pat, Masonry On clap, undercut, and you failed. You were defeated. I've got some questions for you. Oh my kids. Oh that's good news.

Brace yourself. Robert, what is your number one choice when visiting a hot food van, i.e. outside of sports stadium, or in the car park at the aforementioned being cute? What do you go for first? Without any doubt whatsoever. Without even looking at the aforementioned being cute. What do you go for first? Without any doubt whatsoever. Without even looking at the board,

see what's our dog. As long as it's tin proper up dog, not a sausage. Yeah, proper tin dot. A long one. No, the long ones tend to be the sausages, I don't want a sausage. You can get a long one dog, so you can get him in a jar.

Okay, well fine, as long as there are a jar are a t- About six and six, seven inches long. Yeah, one of them. That is long, yeah. Do you have mustard on it? Do you have sauce on it? I have mustard on it and I have tomato ketchup on it, light and ice soft bone.

I think the perfect. You've got a lot of money, don't you? Yeah, I think the perfect. I'll cut off. Hot dog is the ordinary and cinema hot dog. Beautiful, expensive, but it's beautiful. Is it? So that's my answer to your delightful children's question.

Okay, there's one more question. Do you have a top tip for maximizing your experience when you visit a car boot seal? Your first run round, do it quickly, identify what I call the hot spots, where there's a lot of interest. Yeah. Look under the tables as well as on top, you know lot of interest. Yeah. Yeah. Look under the boat, look under the

tables as well as on top. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Good sniff around. Then reverse your route. Super slow. Right. Like fucking Sherlock. Are you buying stuff on the first run round? If something really, really static, if there's a work in rare gone, fucking buy it. Do you take notes? Do you take pictures? Mental notes. Mental notes. Yeah. Okay. The correct answer is actually a PXR that go in early as a seller and then just wander around buying all the good stuff when people are setting up. There it is. How much is it to go as a seller? About 12 quid. Get your magic. Put your margins. Or a quid to get in as a buyer once all the good shit's gone.

It's up to you. Do you want to live? Do you not find that right on early before anyone's come in, that the prices are a bit strident? The word, yeah, but you know, that's the beauty of the car boot sill, and that's the gamble. That is the gamble in it. You can buy high if you want to

or you can go back later on when someone else is bought. Okay. So, something else? Well, Barry Olmone has been in touch. How's he? He's been in touch, yeah, because... Imagine him with a car boot, he'll come in. He's enjoyed, he's joined Summit called LinkedIn.

Pfft! Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Are you not on LinkedIn, Bob? Well, I don't know what it is. It's getting, well, it'll be commuting, you know, saying how to be a business- Business-based. Well, I. It's business-based networking.

I am very business-y. I've got this notebook. You look very business-y this morning. Do you like me with my hat on? Your fisherman's hat on and you jump over. I am actually using me as a hat. Has that been dand, that jumper? Has your wife dand it for you?

No, it was I bought it in the morgue. He bought it like that. Yeah, but I like this. I've worn it for a while, so I'm going gonna let you back in the country with that one. It's What is the subs kind of fucking problem with Polo next anywhere come on he's been he sent me is Is bio I think it is here because Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hello, Rooney,

I thought you might like to get familiar with my new LinkedIn biographical connection gate profiling my persona incredible as it gets to my essence without filler and brings you in deep to my UK persona and life's fear. I'm hoping to become an influencer. You know, like Deepak Chopra or Bill Gates. So, here of course, here it goes. It starts of course with a professional headshot next to the Audi TET. Eastern European skinny jeans by Pepe, white Egyptian cotton shirt from TJ and the Mac, race-bex in right hand artisan campachoochu in the other. If a picture says a thousand words, this little snap fills a thousand bottles with spirit

brothers tears. Cheers! Name Barry, status, homeowner, base, physical, the UK, base, spiritual, India, employment real estate, hairstyle, a young him-run car. Sexual orientation north to south via the Pleasuredome. I wake up early each day without hesitation or intention to do so. It's like the collective business consciousness requires me to be woken so they can resource me and breathe inside my knowledge bubble. I head to my office in the TT, returning on my ring glances with a wink and an inspirational pucker of my full and ample lips. First into the office as always my Dell computer, multi monitors, ping into life, an auto load various local and global news feeds.

My inbox is full, my outbox is poised for action like a venomous snake at a mongoose party. My personal electro assistant, Alexa, begins outlining my priority agenda, meetings, calls, activities, nourishment requirements. All spoken at breakneck speed because if Alexa loses me a single business second, I'll break Alexa's neck. Just laughles I'm a pussy cat. The rest of the world is still asleep. I'm in charge and the world is in safe hands. Ciao and a beller to you. So wow I'd employ him to do something. I don't know what. Up early. I connect with him and say what happens. So, he styles a bit like a young emerald card. That's nice, isn't it?

Beautiful. Lustrous. That's a nice look to have, isn't it? I wish I could have that. That was there's a goner. He also sent me a musical version of it. Did it? Yeah, and I'll do that at the end in case anyone wants to.

Okay. That all right. I saw fellow that at the end and cares if anyone wants to. Okay. That, all right. So, I fell a walk in down the street yesterday reading a book. I felt a bit Barry Hormorner. He's reading a book. I mean, you know, Peter walk down the street looking at their phones and that's that's unacceptable.

But he was reading a book. Maybe he was reading a book about how to operate your phone. So they could- It might be an instruction manual or something. Yeah, then you could get up from his phone. It's, yeah. Oh, there's a Royal. It's an outside. There it is. Oh, it's getting in. Let's get him in. Come on, man. I'll live it. Alright.

Come on in there, too. Yeah, sit yourself down, right? Alright, thank you. It's really nice to see you both again. So what, so bright? I'd be up Brian, be honest you're a bit gloomy. For a very perceptive rubber time indeed so would down in the dumps at the moment. Yeah, well you're still caught up in the relegation battle is that the problem? Relegation, I could give a rusty fuck about relegation, you know the numbschool.

Well who am I, because it was all I cared about right now? Warhammer. Who am I? Warhammer. Who am I, yeah care about right now. Warhammer. Woooo whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew wh whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew whew war in the decisions. I've heard the owners sellers park swept ridden camberes in listening devices and of course the outdoor war in the season is first approaching and I'm very fearful of drums, very fearful indeed. Oh drums? Yes, that sounds upsetting. Yeah, I can see why you feel a bit gloomy. And I think the European clubs are trying to punch more best players as well.

What makes you say that? Well, some of the lads are trying to pretend they're not in the war anymore, but I think it's a lose. It's sorry it's a what? A lose! Sorry a what? A lose, it's trick! A lose! Yeah!

Oh sorry yeah, okay. Fucking Christ. So yeah, I mean, Angela's town's age says he's got himself a girlfriend and he hasn't got a time for war anymore anymore. Christian Ventakai, he says he sold all his war ever figures on internet and he's going to save up my boy and moat instead. We saw that was Bullocks, because I already in bragging the Jeffery Slup about his new necrous strengths the other day and it's for Conor Wickham, he says he doesn't want to

play anymore because there's an ethical clash with his ongoing church commitments Well, I can kind of see like why it's coming from. No, he's allowing little cunt. They all are 72 in August, but I don't know how much longer I could keep this up for okay going right plays It'll be I'll turn out okay. No, thank you, rubbers. We do like to play it. Well, whatever sometime. No Well, I'll suppose I should be getting nothing. Okay, boy, I'm a... Woo! What? Hammer.

It's pretty as woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Say you're right. Thanks for dropping by. Woo-hoo-hoo! There he goes. Woo-hoo-hoo. So there's why you're getting himself in a state? And you get a bit of a tizzy-dumbo-regs existential crisis, I think?

I think, I think when you get to that age, you know, war ram is this thing, isn't it? Yeah, he's got to be worrying how long will the young and sick with me. He needs some churn, he's clobby needs to bring in some fresh blood that's in the war hammer, because I think the other fellows are getting sick of it. It's just off the top of your head,

can you, would you pick as a football, you say, is war hammer? That's a war hammer. Chris Sutton Chris Sutton a former players I think he's banging the current players you got to be looking at Jesse Lingard I think yeah well he's a surprise for you oh what you got you know the best war I'm a player is in the Premier League

there's that side of your mana is he if we it's a surprise in it it is, yeah. Yeah. What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack?

What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack?

What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? What's that big pack? So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats, but iced tea and ice cream. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See out for details.

Slot is restaurant. Oh, you've been there again? Yeah, I popped down a couple of weeks ago, because I was in the area to pick up me a ragun that was getting repaired at electric cans. Oh you been there again? Yeah, I popped down a couple of weeks ago because I was in the area, I pick up my ragun that was getting repaired at electric cans. You have a lot of bother with your ragun. I'm still forward with it, still one ready. You want to get a car boat turned by, no one? Well, the only thing is that it's quite under, isn't it, that it isn't ready, so I'll be up, I've got slotted again, you know what I mean? Yeah, I guess that's true. I get in there,

there's Adrian Lewis as expected, but he's not eating on his own, right? He's sat there with Steve McLaren. Oh! So that's an interesting dining combination, isn't it? Very much so, yeah. Anyway, this is where I overheard,

they're sat at the table with the waiter, right? So this is slaughter's Mr McLaren. Like I told you, it's got more meat per square foot than an undertake as after a flu epidemic. Oh, that's a bit tasteless, Adrian. Oh, like our foot when meat's, which is a bona fide, a taste explosion, like a thousand tiny drawers being slowly opened on your palate. Just you wait Mr McLaren.

You won't know what's hit you unless you've previously been knocked out with a hammer fashion from pure meat. What are your specials today you slackfork? We have a double, two inch thick griddle, shrubsher pork chop, sliced from pigs that have been fed only on dripping infused, fork and turnips. Oh I love pork chops, Casper my snake likes to chew on one when we're watching Prow on the afternoon. Do you remove the fat?

No, we're fork and don't, sir. We remove most of the actual fork and meat and then hide in the bin. Or pork chops are very, very, Foggin' funny. Oh, I'm not sure I like the sound of that. So what vegetables does it come with? Wow, your fierce, with a choice of thick cut or double-cooked chips,

both fried in mechanically recovered cuttle grease. You can have a portion of both if you want. I don't give a flying fuck me. No, well that certainly got me popping you meaty hero. Yes, it's a whole other bunch of fuckers than it's a... Oh, does the chop come with an apple sauce? No, it does fucking not. Ah!

Apples are afroot and are such a f- up buns in this establishment, sir. Okay, that's the chop saw. What's next? Hold on, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up,

f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, f- up, up, Ox Tongue, boiled in tabwata, served with X-SPO fierce that spotted a very Foggin' Starlet expression indeed. Or you beautiful Foggin' meat-hater, my knackers are rotating in anticipation. Could I ask, why has the owl got such a startled expression? I wouldn't you be startled if you saw seven in inch stay-lux pleated coming down on your fucking neck. Oh you noble, hard-line meaty genius.

Does the ox don't come with the blood sausage side dish? No sir, so fucking sorry about that. Oh fuck off. No, you fuck off. Listen, the shes husky ate all the blood, so say, do I let Shriff, with sure the date when a car gets ripping out the fucking chellings? Hee hee. Oh, daft dog, naughty dog, bad dog.

Well, I'm going for the fucking hoax tongue, and give me a glass of the pan water to go with it. What about you Mr McLaren? Do you know I think maybe I'll just have a pudding. What have you got? Stig and kidney pudding, serve the Holland-beast sauce. Fuck off. No you, fuck off sir.

Shoo, he he he, not you, shoo, you mean Holland-day sauce. No sir, Holland based. It's liquidized fucking bacon right. Oh, do you know what, Eugen? I think me and Casper will just pop over the road to Mrs. Fanny's kickbox. The menu here is a bit too rugged for us. So you're fucking self, I am not shifting.

I've got a whole deep inside of me and it needs filling with fork and heart maids. Come on Casper, let's go and get some iced buns and the baggy yum-yums. What a soft fucking shite he is. Did you not fancy it? That's like the pepperoni that's on top of his head. Hey, I heard that. It's not a pepperoni. It's my head island. It's my head island. Well, I could tell us about it. Well, I'd be fucking awesome. Oh, one thing. Have you got something for Patrick? Massend Bernard, you're not keeping occupied. What a good thorax to the trick. Oh, for yes, now get a fart on. My thighs are beginning to ooze, and I've only got an hour's worth of tissues.

I very much forking wills, sir. You forking world tight there, if you can. So that was, I get so lucky, yeah, going in just I'm losing there all the time basically, you're gonna log in any time of the day, I might even be in there, pushing meat into his fist, pushing the meat. But Steve McCarran, I don't think he'll be going back to the slaughterhouse. I don't think, I think he likes the look of Mrs. Fancy's cake box, same stuff, so

him TV wise this week. Oh, you watched? Well, have you watched John? No, I've had it recommended to me though. It's an interesting one because production wise, you know, visually, you think you're in the mist. Mitzed. Mitzed.

Mitzed. Mitzed of a tip made for TV film. Right. So, you know, it law-fi, is it? It's just, I don't know. I've got the shape. Paulie Donne, but it is a tro-story and a terrific story. Is it a tro-crime thing?

It is. And it's based on a very good podcast called Dirty John. Right. It's a fascinating story. You know, we recommended what was it abducted in plain sight. Yeah. It's not quite as out there as that, what was it abducted in plain sight. Yeah. It's not quite as out there as that, but it does leave you thinking, you know, what? What are we doing with our world?

What are that kind of thing? Yeah, fuck. So that's an interesting one. I know it's due tweeted, Andy, last week. Sorry, kind of it. You watched a 24. A 24 minutes of a film and then abandoned it, feeling like a twat for even bombing. What film was that? It was that Beverly Lin,

what's it called? Beverly Loftley. Well, that's why I've asked you because I thought it was. Did you think it was? I couldn't. I would see what it was and what it was doing. It reminded me of a bit, there you get like a scene in a David Lynch film that's kind of a diversion away from the story where you'll have some characters that are really out there. But in a Lynch film, it will be over in a couple of minutes, but this it just kept coming and coming and I just,

wish you didn't stop with it. Should I go back to it? I think so. I mean, I know a lot of people have tweeted, like saying, hey, thanks for that recommendation. A lot of people have said, I thought it was rubbish, but I'm not the teller. Well, but I'm also, I've had a few,

saying that it's really affected them. You can't stop thinking about the people and I, is that what you want? You want to affect people, do you? Well, yeah, I think you want to do it. You know, like a lot of people and I, I think that's what you want with it. You want to affect people, do you? Well, yeah, I think you want to do it. You know, like a lot of people are wondering, so what's that film about and then have an interesting debate. Right. Well, watch the rest of it sometime,

remember, can I have an interesting debate? It's got some awkward minute moments at the beginning. There's a moment in the beginning and the cafe when the bloke does that little dance. Yeah. And I thought, fuck this. Yeah. That's what I thought was like. And I thought, fuck this. Yeah. That's what I thought was like.

I understand. And I kind of steered in that fuck this mindset after that. Well, it's ran much for a little bit of a brightness in your mind. All right. Can I give you a little quiz before we go? I'd love to. Yeah. Just a little one.

Before we go, why is that it? Well, I don't know. I got more to do. Well, I've got a Scottish story. Oh, well, that's all right then. I'll do the little quiz now then. Well, I'll have a question. All right. well, that's all right then. I'll do the little quiz now then, while I've just started. It's called Bosch or not Bosch.

Okay. And it's headlines from reviews on Amazon.co.uk for the Bosch Serie 4, it kilogram 1400 RPM, free standing washing machine. Nice machine. You know the top of the review where they'll do a little one line. Yeah.

And it's a just a washer, not a dryer. Okay, that's a mind. Okay. Have you read the reviews of this? Probably in the past. Previously, I don't know them. I've got any recollection of them. Right, there's some headlines. I want you to tell me if they're made up or if they're real from Amazon.co. So would do I shout Bosch or something? You can shout Bosch if you think it's real and not Bosch. I'll shout Bosch if I think it's real. Huh? If I think it's not real.

Good, good. Here we go, first headline. Wunderbar, Deutsche Bosch. Correct. Bisch, Bosch, Bosch. Bosch. Correct. This machine ruined my uncle's funeral.

Bosch. Oh, correct. This machine ruined my uncle's funeral. Bosh. Incorrect. Ah! Get in there. Almost perfection, but ruined by a tiny squeak. Correct. Reasonable quality and value with some handy features but terrible instructions.

Incorrect. Ah, that was from Colin McCartney Bosch is Bosch Bosch oh yes, that was from Sandra a light Bosch well done Bosch and well I'll do another Bosch models next time through the way it makes me wish I'd actually done I was gonna do It makes me wish I'd actually done, I was gonna do field paddock pasture or meadow, we should do it now, maybe we should just make it. Next time? Maybe we should do Athletico quiz.

Yeah. The other thing I keep thinking is, you know, like, my dad made a pornographic movie, yeah? To give it a full title, yeah. I think Lord's of people listen because it sounds road. Right. Now I wondered if we should change it to our theoretical segment. Or something. I'll let you go sex parts. Or something like that.

It's just for anyway. So, some questions from the wife, if you're interested. Please do. She says, of course, hello, Andrew. Hello, Bob's wife. Pleasure to speak to you. She says, Andrew, I know that you are a big fan of Master Chef. Would you ever consider going on to Master Chef and cooking up some chicken dip as fried

in your tith oil? If the price is right, I'll cook, we chicken dip was in anything. Okay, well you might like to follow, but Andrew, I know you're a big fan of dancing on ice. Would you ever consider dancing down the aisle at Iceland when you buy your bulk blue drink? Would I have to wear ice skits or can I? Beffwater as usual. Just in your pajamas as you always wear.

But standard behavior, yeah? All right. And the third one, of course, is the reason why we had the first two if you found them a bit late Andrew I know you are a big fan of undeadables Would you ever consider applying to it for a date or do you think that you are too far gone? I'll give it a whirl. I've had a Scottish tale. Oh yeah.

A Scottish tale washed up on the shore. Oh. Just near folks. A lovely little throwback. I took it out of it. It's a bottle, 48. Yeah. We, Kalen McGregor, was but 15 years old. At the age of 11, his mother and father were hanged until their death.

The Laird of the island was their sole accuser and judge and found him guilty of plotting the escape of Calum and fire the father children to the mainland for us to ensure that they escape the service of the land. Calum now spent his days alone in the bad-fired old cave, secured to its walls by a long iron ankle chain. Each day at sunset, Ivermacon, one of the lards henchmen, would appear at the cave's entrance and deposit for him firewood, some oat cakes and a salty boiled egg or some other protein. After greedily eating his salty egg or other substitute protein, he would light himself a fire and gaze into its dancing flames. He imagined himself strolling down the main one high street into Costa

coffee for a latte moca frappuccino and a good tug on the free Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi code provided by a pretty red-held lassie with dainty hands. Next up would be Clinton cards, where he would laugh and giggle at the risky messages. A picture of a man in his underpants with the message, may contain traces of nuts. It's good to be fat. Fat people are hard at a kidnap. What's the greatest gift for a bald man? A comb, because he'll never part with it. On that last one, a small drip of fiddle would escape from his personal pipe on account of its golden helarity. He would join a small group of young lads and lasses, protesting against some local gender hiatus.

When do we want it? Where one that now he would guide, oblivious to the nature of the cause, not its solution. And in the crowd he would once again glance the red-haired lassie with the dainty hands. Suddenly he was taken from his reverie by the sound of footsteps at the mouth of the keys. Light, hesitant steps, not those of the henchman Macoon. Then there she was, silhouetted by the lights of the fire, the lassie with the long, flowing red hair and tiny hands. Have you been dare dreaming about my person, laddie? I have lassie. I meant nothing by it, to was just a fancy. I indeed fancy me young, Calum. With these words, his personal pipe turned

towards their alert and thickened in its purpose. I do, I have negazed upon a lassie for some three years or more. Well, let me remove my coat so that you may see more of my form for your appreciation. Her coat fell to the floor and her figure was barely contained within her tight black bowl on the back. She had plenty enough tip for a bungee jump. As you can see, Ladi, I have plenty to spare. Would you like to come and gaze upon them, maybe read them the riot act for being so brazen in their attitude? I'll ask you, I would, they do not laugh at my gate, for unfortunately the sight of them has caused my personal pipe to trap its face in my bulk buckle. As he limped towards her, she undid her brasier, and gallum fell dead in an instant.

towards her she undid her brasier and gallum fell dead in an instant but it was not the sight of her tipped that felden. No! To us when she turned toward the light of the fire to reveal that she had the face of Anna Subri, the face of Anna Subri. That's a tale. It's very much so, a tale and a half. No, I skate for them, ten edges in that island. They're looking at only dream of coming to London, Soho. That's where we are, isn't it?

London. We're in London, Andrew. I'm going to go off-road on the show, but is center. Are you going off there? After this. I was getting you in. Oli merged. You're going in with Oli? Yeah.

Met Oli not so long back. Did you? Yeah, nice fella. The really nice fella. You do not have a daft lad. Yeah. Nice daft lad. Daffers of brush.

Daffers of brush. Oh, the sore. Yeah. Come round for tea, your mum would like him. Yeah. Like him lots. You dominant the conversation a bit too much, Zuby. Oh, I'm a sore. Yeah, come round for tea, your mum would like him. Yeah. Like him lots. You don't dominate the conversation a bit too much, do you think? No, I think you would.

No, it's a very nice man as good man. So there you go. Right, so as promised Andrew, I'll just finish with the musical version of Barry Holland that's linked in biography profile, personality, gate or whatever it is. My ever, that's of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, Rooney, thought you might like to get familiar with my unique, in biography connection gate, profiling my persona incredibleest.

It gets to my essence without filler and brings you in deep to my UK persona and live sphere. I'm hoping to become an influencer, you know, like Deepak Chopra. So here go, start of course with a professional headshot next to the Audi TT, Eastern European skinny jeans by Pepe, white Egyptian cotton shirt from the TJ and the Mac, Grace Bex in right hand, Artisan canpachu-choo in the other. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, didn't quite reach the bridge there. I won't let you down, I'll just take you up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, If a picture says a thousand words, this snap fills a thousand bottles with spirit brothers

tears. Name Barry, State as Homeowner, Base Physical, the UK. Base Spiritual India, Employment Real Estate, hair style or young immigrant come Secure orientation north to south by the pleasure dome I won't let you down I'll just take you up, up, up Up into the business sky And you'll feel Feel like you're making love

Make it love in the Spanish your club, Love in the Spanish your club. I head to my office in the TT, Returning at Miring Planses with a wink and an inspirational pucker of my lips. My personal electoral assistant Alexa begins outlining my priority agenda Meetings, activities, nourishment requirements All spoken at breakneck speed because if Alexa loses a single business second I'll break Alexa's fucking neck That's just the lovels, I'm a pussycat

And now I'm gonna chit-chit down I'll just take you up, up, up, up Up to the business sky You feel, feel like you're making love To a spaniard in a spanish galleon Barry, see you homeowner. You enjoyed that a lot, didn't you? Yeah, you really get into that.

I think that's all I've got time for. Okay, see you next time. Yeah, bye-bye. you