Athletico Mince - Ep. 81 - Return To The Laughter Emporium

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

Ian Holloway confronts Steve, Roy reveals his other obsession, there’s an electrical retail quiz, some train poetry and we explore Sean Dyche’s home. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/at...hleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's fall, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no. You can't get a maple tree on Uber Eats, but maple syrup, maple lattes, and maple bourbon. Yes, we deliver those. Turtles? No. But turtles the dessert?
Starting point is 00:00:15 Yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See So Andrew, welcome to the podcast, that's the medical message. Robert, I say you were in a very tight sweatshirt a day for some weird reason, it's got... Didn't use to be tight. It's got, think fast, think gas written on the front, what's that all about?
Starting point is 00:00:58 Think fast, think gas, it's meant for the gas market in board now. No, it's just good advice when you're working with or around gas. Is that embroidery? Because it looks like it's a stich on it. It's that stick on felt stuff. Is that what it is? Iron it on, yeah. It's very good. But yourself, did you? What you, you know, talked about my t-shirt, t-shirt, and I think it's an effort to divert me from your appearance at the stadium, a light at the weekend. You were the half-time entertainment.
Starting point is 00:01:28 I thought you were going to say the heartthrob. No, no. You were the half-time entertainment. I was, well, it was a 200 performance. Tell us about what was it like. I was really fun. I mean, you might have just seen the last bit, because what we had to do was we started at the dugout
Starting point is 00:01:42 and we had to re-assaround the perimeter of the pitch and then we got the opposite halfway line. We cut inside on the pitch, a carefully selected child through a ball at us and then the object was first one to get the ball in the back of the net. A regular thing, far inside. Yeah, they do it. Meets, dad and lad, whatever, you know. I've got admit, when the ball came to me feet, about 30 yards out for a fleeting moment, I thought, I've got to fuck this in from here. But you resisted.
Starting point is 00:02:14 I'm putting it in, I don't care what me kid thinks. You nearly took him out on the penalty spot though, didn't you? I, I, I, I didn't know, because he was clean through. No, you didn't have to. You didn't have to take him. I wanted to send out of the game. Well, you know, I thought, oh, this could go viral if I take him out.
Starting point is 00:02:29 And is that all you think? You want to be an influence? I always think about a social media opportunity. Yeah. So what was it like getting on the pitch? Oh, it's great. Loved it. I've been on Riverside a couple of times.
Starting point is 00:02:42 What, like legally? Yeah, doing an aviation. You really feel low. You can make sure of the atmosphere. Riverside coupler times what like legally yeah You really feel low The presence of the atmosphere you know draw it off time someone like that I've done the the meat draw and I've taken apparently half way line What like a run up into an open goal It's that their sort of version of half time at the time they tried it once they tried it So they got you want to try and get a boost. Didn't reach.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Did you, didn't reach the goal? You didn't reach the goal. No, it's too scary out there man. All those eyes on you. So when you were being watched by 30,000 people wherever you, you think to yourself, I tell you what, I'll take me, you know, young boy out. Well first of all, I thought I'm just putting this in
Starting point is 00:03:20 from 30 yards out with the outside of me boot. Yeah. But, yeah, that could have been embarrassing. So I just thought the kid out said, he scored though you didn't he scored. I did and he was the winner. I was the bad guy yet again. If you want to name Andrew, I've got two choices for you. You can be Keith Swindles, right? Yeah. Tell you why we operate, right? He goes out shopping for shoes, yeah, the shops, yeah. And then when he's trying them on, he fates, insists on an ambulance, and then he gets the shoes for free. Watch and get that rose. I like that. I'm all in for a very
Starting point is 00:03:53 word that insists on an ambulance. Or you could be Johnny Thresh old. Every spring he dresses head to foot in a lilac-ac colour clothing and hangs himself above front doors to get the impression of a wisteria in blue. Oh lovely I'm very in a lilac the same a year. Well that's a try to be on the other side. I think the ambulance man takes the kick. Oh what a fucker ambulance! No I think you're alright. No, I want to fuck you. Get one, get one, no. I'm preparing to wait. You can be, if you like. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:04:29 You can be. We usually honky-tonk. You can be honky-tonk or you can be drive-thru, Jason. Well, yeah. Now, he's converted to the garden on the side of his house and the nice drive-thru area. And he sells toffee pennies and little cups of warm top water for 20 pence each of a hatch. He says
Starting point is 00:04:45 you can have it for free if you kiss his hand but no one's ever took him up on that as yet. 20 pence for 20 pence. 20 pence. Yeah. Okay. Or you can be Dame Fanny Shanklin. Yeah. She's 92 retired Bingo caller from Thursk. Son and Laws got a mobile butchers van. She goes round with them chopping the meat in the back of the van. I'll actually sing some short tunes at 92 years old. Round of applause for James Finishing for reaching the age of 92. What's your reckon? I think I'm gonna be Hunky-Tunk as always but I might be Bobby Hunky-Tunk.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Right why? Just think maybe I want to personalize it to me you know I don't know but Bobby yonky Bobby yonky tongue go on Bobby tongue Bobby tongue Bobby hunk Bobby hunk hunk whatever was he brought your hunko with you no I've left it home you have it sandwich that I say that I'm having an egg sandwich while you do this podcast. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Depends on how's it getting married because some of the bounties might be guests as well. It might be an entirely bouncer only. A congregation. Just give us an answer Andy. What is the ready for?
Starting point is 00:06:11 60 40 bouncer's yeah. Andrew, a standard Sunderland funeral. What is the accepted ratio of bounties to get? 40 60. 40 60. Yeah. Bit less trouble. Bit less trouble. More subdued. Andrew. Yeah. Bit less trouble. Bit less trouble.
Starting point is 00:06:25 More subdued. Andrew. Yeah. A standard Sunderland Children's Party. What is the accepted ratio of Bouts as to kids? Is it 1 to 1? 50, 50. So it's 1.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, I'm glad I asked that. Do you want to quit? Oh, I have. Do you want to quiz? Oh, do you want me to tell you a duck story? Do I want to have a quiz while you're in the mood. Finish your sandwich, well you're doing it.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Hey it's called Kettle, Iink Boying Toaster. Give me just a little more time. Toothbrush, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink,ink, Iink, Iink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink,ink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink, Iink, Iink,ink,ink,ink, Iink,ink, Iink, Iink Oh yeah! You wanna play? I do! Same as always Andrew, I thought it was time to go to an electrical retail, yeah? Right, and I don't want to name it. I don't want to name it, is it? It carries, I'm not saying nothing, right? I took the cheapest of all the items, and I want you to price them high to low, low, high, I don't mind which way you go.
Starting point is 00:07:22 It's a 1.7 liter electric kettle. Yeah. A two-slice electric toaster. An oral B electric toothbrush. Or I can't remember the name of it, electric under blanket. Electric under blanket. Or not like an electric blanket.
Starting point is 00:07:41 It goes under your... Yeah, an electric the blanket yeah just checking i'm not googling these are anything right most expensive yeah to the brush okay second most expensive under blanket okay then uh... and when you look at the kettle one point seven and it's a two
Starting point is 00:08:05 Slice torso God Jesus this is odd the kettle is Slightly more expensive than the toaster so I'm going toothbrush under blanket kettle toaster Electric under blanket must most expensive at 12.99. Then the Toast brush, so you're nearly there, 12.49. Two slice electric toaster, 7.29. 1.7 liter electric kettle, 5.49. So I've got them all completely wrong. Yep, you do. Yeah, again. You don't know, you shopped it all, do you? No. Why not? Well, you did. Yeah, again. You don't know you shops at all, do you? No,
Starting point is 00:08:46 why not? Well, I'm at a touch probably. I tend to go for bargains, do you know what I mean? But you don't think of 1.7- I don't pay RRP, I go for a bargain. 1.5- So if the toothbrush was down to 8.99, that's when I'd pounce. I'm not paying RRP. But Andrew, it's implicit in what you say that if that you knew it was 1249 previously in it, for it to be a bargain. Well, I wouldn't know that until it appeared as a bargain. I would listen to radio. Are you going to say the name of the quiz again at the end? Like you know me though, are you going to just pass it by?
Starting point is 00:09:17 You have just played. Oh God. Kettle, I ink, buying, tellster. Give me just a little more time. Toothbrush,ettle, I ink, buying, tellster. Give me just a little more time. Toothbrush, buying, I ink, put it out. Under blanket. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Well, we're talking about that sort of thing. I'd just announce that I'd like to become an influencer. Yeah. On the Instagram, maybe. You just have that. Yeah. I've got a list the things I'd like to get if anyone's listening can hook me up with any of this stuff. I'll take a picture of myself with it,
Starting point is 00:09:51 go on Instagram and influence people. OK. It shades and pillowcases, preferably Egyptian cotton, but I'm not overly fussed. OK. Davey, Dave Boxett, I've won the book, comes in. Some bed and plants, various colors, nice colors. A first aid kit, a map of the world poster, a nester tables, and the in-text explorer
Starting point is 00:10:13 a keyer to two person kayak with ores and inflation pump. Oh, you like to get that one? Any of them, anyone wants to send them in? I'll take a picture with myself and influence the flow of it. I'd like to see you with that elaborate canoe arrangement. Particularly the kayak. Up further, nested tables to be honest. Actually, you would look nice next to a nested table. With the mollot on display. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Maybe a peanut on one jelly tuts on another. Canabella on the other. Canabella? Yeah. The canabella on the other one. Yeah, influencing. I will listen to radio. Andrew and there's a new shorn, do you know Martin from Holmes Under the Hammer? Yeah, well he does a show now where he goes to football as
Starting point is 00:10:59 houses to sit and look around the houses tonight and it's quite a good show. On the radio. On the radio yeah. So I recorded one player. Good. Thought you about that too. I'd love to hear it. My only problem is I can't do mine, but I especially can't do them without giving me mouth. No, no. I hope the listeners are enjoying it. Enjoy listening to you having your picnic. Terrible this episode. Hey well, and welcome. I'm Martin Roberts from Holmes Under the Hammer. And today I'm the guest of Sean Dish. The Managing Football Officer of the Burnley Football Centre.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Hello there, Sean. Wow, that's quite a beard. Bit unusual. Put a high kit! Err Martin, from arms under the hammer, excuse the smell I'm boiling up some underpanks on the hob. They've become very biscuit-y. Oh that's alright, it's an unusual smell, a bit different than you don't want to make it. So this is the hallway. You've got a lot of pictures on the wall.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Yes, there are all details from my favourite pieces of machinery. That one there's the Axel Bear in from a 24-arm Norfolk potato plant. That one is a warning light from a 2004 Corby 7007 Charles press. The big one at the end is the cotter pin from a henkelman jumbo of 42 cannon machine. Very unusual, but I like them, it'll be different, so what's next on the tour? This is Mikasi, as you can see the floor is covered in hair. I change it once a week and put it on me turnip patch. I love turnips.
Starting point is 00:12:47 It's a good honest vegetable, you know, unlike kale of fucking God forbid broccoli. I expect you'll like kale, do you're melting from ones under the hammer? I do. It's a bit different, and I like that. So this presumably is the lounge. And it's dominated by this rather large machine in the centre of the room! That's me, Hydealberg's KORS single colour offset printing press. What is it that you actually print?
Starting point is 00:13:19 Words, motivational words for the team to stare at. Give me some examples, it all sounds very different and unusual. Okay, work, gun, axe, kick the busted. If you haven't spewed up, you haven't turned up. More axes, balls are there to be kicked. More work, eight pie, Kick. Rush. Shit. Wow. Highly emotional images and if you don't mind me saying quite unusual. How'd you get the shape of your beads or circular by the way. I'll shave it around a 15 outsting of
Starting point is 00:14:02 John Westparn Apple Chunks. Now this is my kitchen. Yes, I can see and it's dominated by that large machine on the centre table. What is that? It's a roller-grill F-60 quartz turbo-convector pie oven. 24 standard pie capacity fully fan assisted. Is that all you eat then, pies? No, turnips as well. Keep your brain in check, don't they?
Starting point is 00:14:29 Don't wanna get high for looting ideas like those foreign coaches with the pasta and the sauces and their power boiled fucking hairs on lots. Thank you Sean, a more than usual house. A little bit different, but I liked it. I wish you all the best. Then I stopped recording and that's the little extra tartar play. Very good, very good. I hope that comes back again.
Starting point is 00:14:56 You like that show? Well I'll be on again, do you think? Yeah, I'll think it might be. As long as I can make sure that it isn't just Steve McLaren. Do you know that? No, with a bit of a twist. In between this episode and the last episode of Athletic Omin, we put out an episode of Athletic O'Parsnips, a new podcast you can only get if you join Club Parsnips. And here's some bits from it. Lobbynig Parsnip cropping your back the ad. Click.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Recently you said there was a problem with your arses that cleaned up now or so. Click. I would recommend staring to everyone. Click. I'm a fucking gangbanger, my dear tin-mo-blad! Click. Yes, wish! Click. Berni suffered from cucumber-y iron. Club parsnips is £2 plus VAT a month and you get an athletic or passing episode. Every episode of mince three days before non-subscribers add free, you get a Benpick's animation age month, the bonus compilation episode age month, currently Peter Badesley and all of the old episode ads
Starting point is 00:15:54 removed and advance notice in early bird ticket links. Any future live shows we may or may not do. It's all true. I'm not a liar. No you wouldn't. He brought you out a book. I have no idea about this. If you want to subscribe, go to patreon.com slash Athletical Minz and for more information, AthleticalMinz.com slash parsnips. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats, but iced tea and ice cream. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See out for details. Hey, the UK podcast federation were in touch. Oh, yeah, I've got an exciting reestablish your memory, man, credentials. I should have done it at the start, but I haven't put it here. It comes. Are you ready? Do you remember what was on the top left hand side of page 232 of the 1986 autumn winter Argos catalog. Top left 232. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:16 There it is. Memory man. Thank you not bad is it. Potentials reestablished. Thank you. Well done. I watched the Pep doc Pep Guadiola documentary The one that you watched and I watched it yet no I'm not interested in that kind of big club thing I watched it the day that the struggle those day that they played Tottenham right and I knew after I'd watched it that Tottenham would win that much. No, I did Well, I did.
Starting point is 00:17:45 I tell you what it is. Well, because there's no, apart from maybe DELF, there's no one in that dressing room. Got any, like, fight about them. Really? A little company's a bit, but a bit polite. But they're all just sort of nice. You know, they ain't no Roy Keane, Grant Levin.
Starting point is 00:18:04 No. Nothing like that in there. I've got a good look at it. Not a promise I thought, no, they're not going to... So, they win all the other matches that they win then? I just knew when it would come into the crunch, this is that they're going to fall down. Right. They'll probably lose against United as well. That's my prediction. Right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:22 You know, big stuff, big talk. Do you like watching climbing documentaries? I watched a couple of them. You saw neither there. They're quite good. I didn't even know climbing documentaries as a thing. Pretty good. Do you access a climbing documentary?
Starting point is 00:18:33 On the climbing documentaries, shouldn't it? On the climbing documentaries, shouldn't it? Climbing or climbing? Climbing. Climbering up. No, no, no. I remember watching someoneing up, she or her first is not just a finger. I remember watching someone climb up the old man of hoi once. Yeah. That's very vertical for the old man of hoi.
Starting point is 00:18:51 That was impressive. That was in black and white though. I think I saw that in blue paper or something like that. I mean, John Nox. Noxie. Yeah, but is there a point you were going to make about? Well, not just that. You know, I quite recommend them.
Starting point is 00:19:02 Sadly, I haven't got the, I can't remember the name of them. Some of like the big wall or... It's gone then a bit of a dead end, this bit hasn't been... Yeah, it's us. Listen, I spend a lot of time on trains, as you know, between Sullen and London, coming to do this for you. And it's one of the most romantic and thrilling forms of transport we have for the train, definitely, I believe.
Starting point is 00:19:21 And it's National Train Portery Week this week. Right. So I thought I'd write a little poem about being on the tree and stuff Oh, we're all very pleased about that. Here we go. It's not very long. Don't worry spherical little month spreading our hall who put you in charge of the armrest you bull was little wanker Typing with one hand your kind of red bull grasped in the other What's with all the fucking sniffing like? And you there, walking by and grabbing the lid of my laptop to balance yourself as the
Starting point is 00:19:52 train jolt slightly. What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? That's it. You angry little ball. Was that that real life? Yeah, that was based on me trend journey. The sniffing in the coffin is a sniffing the worst thing. The armrest. It was a nightmare. That's first class as well. You went first class. Yes you did. Didn't you? Yes you did. You wouldn't have said that. Not that you didn't. You don't get that kind of carry on in first class, Jesus. Is that a Royal Chinatown side? Yeah, I think. There he is. Yeah, come on, get him in.
Starting point is 00:20:31 Hi, alright. Hello. Hi, alright. You come in just a couple of minutes. That's great. It was very kind of you pair of diabolical little creeps. What do you want to talk about with me today then? Well, I wanted to first off congratulate you on your fantastic achievement this weekend. Yes, thank you. The 50 pound war hemorrhagger from your lovely old mum. It's an Easter present. I'm absolutely delighted. Wow, your mum, wow, you're about 70, aren't you?
Starting point is 00:21:03 71.5 actually, joy boy. So your mum must be a fair old age, and if you're about 70, aren't you? 71.5 actually joy boy. So your mum must be a fair old age, is that any if you don't mind me asking? He's 1008. Wow, well give her our love and that and everything. Well, I'll do that if that's seen you subhuman wreck. No, good. Oh, what I was referring to was your win-away at Arsenal
Starting point is 00:21:20 on Sunday, it's a massive achievement. Oh, that, yeah. Peace and peace really. It leaves us sitting pretty on 42 points in the safe for another season. The rest of the season takes care of itself now, leaving me free and focus on my ever big obsession. Yeah, war by man. Lama? War by man.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Lama? War, war by man. No, game of phones. Throws. Throws. So, game of throws. Throws. All right, so you're into that too as well, yeah? No, Game of Thrones. Thrones? Thrones. Game of Thrones. Thrones.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Alright, so you're into that too as well, I hear. Of course I don't have to look at some kind of prick. Well, no, you're down exactly. I'm active on all the forums, and I've got many theories about who will kill the night king. Well, I reckon it'll be Jon Snow. Could you be any more basic, you half-witted baby man? Jon Snow, have you even seen G.O.T? Yeah, I've watched the whole lot. Well, you obviously don't understand it then
Starting point is 00:22:09 Wayne energy thinks it'll be John snow and he's never even heard of it Let's just go to show how I clean up you are All right, who'll kill the night King now? I'm telling you but what I will say is do you remember when is do you remember when Gwen Stark said that no one has ever used dragon fire on a night king I'll say no more. I'm a bit confused right? I'm a bit your slow-witted prick. You might as well go back to walking on the so-to-rint that goes on YouTube. Come back when you're a big boy eh? Sorry, Rye. I'm off. Breathing the same air as you two clasps, giving me the dry eaves. Where's the dog? It's just that way you care, man, Rye All right. I thought I might have been a trick. Good boy then. Yeah, I'll say you, right?
Starting point is 00:22:51 Gamer phones phones Gamer phones Guy was sharp today. Yeah, I suppose it makes sense. He'd like Game of Thrones. He's all that shit, isn't he? Obviously Vikings and all that nonsense. And quick question for you, a quick, a brain teaser if you like. What links Bob Mali, Harrison Ford and Liz Hurley? I have no idea. If I say Dunder University that might help you a little bit. All got degrees from Dunder University.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Good answer. The correct answer is now, now links them. That is excellent. Sadly, sadly you can't really do that one again. I'll try. So Stephen, Casper, having a ride all time, you know, because he's done his destroying exit. Of course, he's destroying exit.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Yeah, they're just sat at home eating fun and laughter bars, watching the telly, having an awfully time. Absolutely. So, he's a little extra from it. Hey Casper, I'm so glad we don't have to deal with that Mr. Fennan des anymore. He was a right lord Rodney of the city of Plunk, who wasn't he? Casper nods. What shall we watch next Casper?
Starting point is 00:24:19 More Poirot. Casper shrieks his head. I know. What about some escape to the country that's such an exciting show. Casper Shakes is Ed. Well what do you want Casper your little yummy clod of friendly bubbles and suds would you like to go to the carpet shop check out Check out the new arrivals. Book Casper's Shakespeare Zed. Oh, I'll tell you what. I'll sing a song for you. We are the Cupid. We haven't got to manage it. We are the Cupid. We'll finish bottom half.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Book Casper, ain't listening. What's the matter, Casper? Do you want to go in the pond for a swimmy woo woo? Casper nods and Steve lets him out of the back door, right? But suddenly there's a big bang on the front door and it flies open. It's Ian Holloway. Oh, he's unshaving his eyes are all dark and baggy, yeah? His coats are standing ripped and he's holding a big plastic bottle of farm cider, yeah? Well, I know what you've been up to McLaren.
Starting point is 00:25:32 You never intended for Cupid, aren't you? I finished five things. You came in a destroyer club and then get out. That was my job, you stole. I don't know what you're on about, Mr Holloway. I think you've had too much track to whine. I would never do anything like that to my good friend Mr Thinak and his wonderful mid-table team. Oh yeah, well explain us bastard tape then. So Ian turns on the little tear recorder that he'd hidden in Steve's office the day that he was sacked. Oh.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Hello, is that Sam? Sam Aladai? Is it Hello Sam? I've got some great news. Distroying Exitupia, successfully completed. Just you wait till I give this to Mr Fernandez and the newspapers you'll be finished McLaren. No, it's just that not what you think again. Shut up you fraud and take that lump of pork scratching off your head why it's still in talking to you. Okay, that's it.
Starting point is 00:26:43 That's not a pork scratch, isn't it Pippin' Willie. That's me, Herr Island! Shot the fog up McLaren. No, have you got a carrot, a driver's to the Fernandez gaff? I've got my clown car in the garage, but it runs on candy floss in grizzly-bears dreams, and I'm clean out of bush. Well, at that point Casper re-as-up behind Holloway's shoulder is next well-zup and he forces a jet of spew directly into Holloway's ear. Holloway falls to the floor, dropping his tape recorder.
Starting point is 00:27:18 As my head exploded or shom- it's a surest fuck thing it might of. Hey, where's my tape um thingy thing? You know the type, tape playin' thingy. I tell no, right you are not about Mr Halloween. I didn't see you with one. Maybe it's the farmer's side of playing tricks on your mind. Wayans a bit confused and he starts searching for his tape.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Steve looks out of the back window just in time to see Casper disappearing into the pond with the tape recorder in his mouth. Well, I think it's time you went on your way. Oh, you got lucky somehow. I'll work it out and I'll be back, my clarin. Do you hear me? I'd be back! And with that, he stumbled out onto the street and made his way off. Good work, Casper, you yummy fountain of sweet iced crispy biscuits.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Shall we get back to Puerro? And Casper nods as if to say, fucking right, we should. So, but you know, one question I've got from that, yeah? I heard a reference to track the wine, yeah, where can I get track the wine? You track the wine, you can only get it on the edge of fields in Somerset. Oh right, that's a good one for me. You look a dry one there. Good stuff though. I've still got banana ram, little ones. God help us, ladies and gentlemen. I'm getting sick of them now. I've been dropping in since time they moved on, but they're doing same, my latkeying.
Starting point is 00:28:48 I like them that much. The vast difference, I'm putting a pop festival and they meet back yard in a couple of months. They've all been writing about it in their exercise books and don't draw on it and that. I don't know if that'll be bothered. We'll pop festival. Not a wee wee if it's pop festival.
Starting point is 00:29:02 That's what I'm thinking. I mean, they want to put the stage down there, the back gear under the corrugated plastic so it keeps them dry if it's popfest. That's what I'm thinking. I mean, they want to put the stage down there, the back gate under the corrugated plastic, so it keeps them dry if it rains. But I don't think that's very fair in the customers. I put the knout, and the knout if they're not practical. Keep an eye on the driver, the customers are not be dry if it rains over the thing they are. And I'm not having people coming in now,
Starting point is 00:29:18 looking for shelter while I'm busy watching out, they very hub, I mean, stop taps down that end of the yard as well. I mean, what, I was if there was a water emergency while they run steeds down the sun. You have to under up the performance, will you? A kiss, a kiss. Do they need someone to do the catering? No, no. No, I'm not doing a catering.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Why? A guard doing a cook. I thought you were being involved. I was asking about banana ram. I'd like to be involved with banana ram, but not with a cookin'. No. Well, I mean, you put your poor outdoor buffet on or something like that. Just some, some, some, I'll have some, involved with banana and rum or not with a coconut. No. Well, I mean, you put it out there before you're on something like that. Just some, some, some, some, I'd ask some like grips and...
Starting point is 00:29:49 Well, grips and sausage should be nice. Some are like that, but I'd rather stick. I'd rather stick with that, like, yeah. I mean, if it all goes well, then I'd say, move it out, come round over here. Would you check them in? I'd like that, I'd like them to be. You shall ask them.
Starting point is 00:30:02 If you'd ask me if they're coming over with me, like, I'd be up here to do that. Do you want them permanent? I'd just for a bit. I want them for under six months contract. a'r ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn ddod yn d stuff now so I'll say later on. Nice looking fox. Isn't it? I was in North London near Finnsbury Park. Oh, I thought I'd go into the santi because all is laughter and poor him. Good. You know, I'd always get on without him and that. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:30:41 Well, I actually all seem much the same but when you go in I suppose it's a sensor or something who starts up a little film on our massive screen right in front of you and it's a message from Santa yeah hey greetings fellow laughter Bill Grim and welcome to Santa's laughter and podium I love to laugh it's party time and we got everything you need we got streamers balloons Kazoo's fancy dress shit paper plates face paints lava lamps frisbee's and don't forget you pinnata Hey, we got David Seaman working here today. Just asking for all your laughter requirements So I went over the counter and
Starting point is 00:31:26 shooed off there's David Seaman yeah I said alright David. I said, yeah, I can say that, David. Oh, shake my hand. So I do, and I get an electric shock, it's pretty bad actually. That makes me knackers, like, rotator, a bit of that. So that was a bit tasty, David. What can I help you with? I just wondered if you sold any of those sweets, you know, that look really nice, but shit, he says, no, we're just selling all the stuff, choose chocolatey c- Drib dubs. What a funny name. I said, oh, I'll just have a pack of shoes then, thanks David. Ernie carries on laughing and I made me way out
Starting point is 00:32:36 to the tube, I had a couple of shoes, you know. And suddenly I began to feel violently ill, you know, nausea spewing up quickly tards, you know, everything. I had to be ambulance to hospital, still not consistent in ambulance. Yeah, I know, I, I was out for the count, you know, doctor said it was probably the chose that had some, had some dreadful toxin in them. Right. Well, I'm sat in my hospital bed and I get a face time call.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Oh, yeah, it's Santa Kazala. Hey, baby boy, David Rang, how you like my spice shoes? Guaranteed party time and left the route first. Hey, you look like a fucking ghost. It's very funny. I love to laugh. Party on brother. And then he was gone. So, did you think my story there was like a little bit like Hannibal, you know, with the Poison in and not really, not really, no. I suppose not. Is that it? Are we done?
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, that thing that's about enough for now. I think so, yeah. I've enjoyed it. Thank you for having me. Nice that you offered me some of your sandwich. You don't want any eggs sandwich, Andrew. I want to set them all. I love my egg. Thank you.

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