Athletico Mince - Ep. 87 - Sunderland Smorgasbord

Episode Date: August 1, 2019

Steve and Casper enjoy a day out, Roy pops in, and Martin visits another footballer. Plus ants, buffets, a new Crime File and more…  Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello ladies and gentlemen boys and girls my name is Gert Wallander and I'm a Swedish and say hello please to my co-host Jill Gas, who is a Portugal. Hi, so Jill, any truth in the rumors that you were behind the blockage of the vinegar pipe, but the pickle factory this way. What thousand percent true? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, it's all the way. I loved you, I loved you so much, Platonic.

Yeah, yeah, I mean sure. She's a bit of a brute. True or false? I'll take you down. Jill's gonna take me down. Take me down, where was it? Take me down to Panama City. Pain town!

Pain town. Pain town. Trua Falsanjo. All right. Lady Gaga used to be known as Lady Gaga when she had her own cookery show on Fox TV. It's true. It's false.

It's false. Trua Fals or false Andrew dog the bounty hunter is allergic to coconut. False or false I'm just telling it for fun. You give me a clue there. So a false Jimmy Carr's brother is called Bumper. Bumper Carr that that's true. Hell, it's true. Yeah, I tried to throw you a side wonder. Denied. So listen up, I'd like to start with Steve McClaren. He said that in a very somber manner as if something terrible to put on. Well, not necessarily. I come to you with new, so Steve McClaren. Steve and Casper were out in the clown car, Steve's clown car having a nice drive around Darbishes. That's a nice county, isn't it Andy?

You know, I've only been there once and had a lovely time. Probably, and maybe the most beautiful of the... Is Alton Towers there? Is that what, yes, it's not so beautiful in Alton Towers, Andrew. I thought it was good. What you took your nippers there, did you? I went on Easter weekend and I didn't know this, but apparently Easter

weekend at all the towers is when the traveling community descend on open towers, on mass, and it was it was lively. That's all you mean fight it. It was a police presence. It was great. A police present. You could get a presence. You got a presence off the police here. could get a presence. You got presence off the police. So, let's go up there. They're in Derbyshire. Carry on. And they're parked up in Birkwell. Right. So Steve says, right Casper, this is Birkwell, the home of the Birkwell Tart, it's a yummy scrumptious combination of shortcrust pastry, frangipan, strawberry jam and flake tahamans, or casper, it's like eating bubbles of laughter and funniness, whilst you're having your chores tickled by a fluffy bun.

So they put the big plastic omelette cover over the clown car and they walked into the beautiful town of Beacol and just as they got to the first beacons, Casper stopped, stopped dead Andrew, you know, and indicated that he wanted to go into the junk shop that they just passed. I did indicate that he just point his face towards it. He points his face towards it. Yeah, and his tongue laps towards the intended location. Oh, Casper, come on.

Are you still trying to find that handrail for your woodwork project? Casper nods. Oh, well, you pop in and have a look and I'll meet you in the back. Casper, stop. So Casper disappears into the junk shop and Steve wonders into the begas, right? Yeah.

Hello Mr. Baker. I want a nice big succulent begwell tapped and I wonder if it would be possible to have the letter C for Casper iced on top of it. Yeah, I love. Well, first the begger says straight away that for a special order, it got to give 24 hours notice, you know. And then he noticed that it was Stephen Clarone. Yeah.

He was to manage around those parts. See this? So he agreed reluctantly to do a quick icing job for him, right? So it went behind the counter into the Berger re-room and the Beraker filled a large ice and bag with bright yellow icing for that sea for Casper. Then the Beaker turns round. You're right. Yeah, the Beaker turns round. It says, Thank you, A-Lawd, Schlecks off and your Andes. He was self-taffing. And he was. He was running Beaker while, didn't he? did. Well, the tickens is going on. I only came in for a person the last time.

It's your mind out of sequence. Well, look, that, the bear could picked up a marble rolling pin and brandished it at Steve. So, it's quite a weapon in it. You think about it. Okay, okay, I don't want any trouble. I've just had a gastric pan fit it. Right now get on the floor, raise your

buttocks in the air and stare at the marzipan dispenser on top of that machine. Steve does as he's told and tight that fucking flaky pastry off your forehead it's turning more stomach. That's not flaky pastry. That's my hair, Ireland! My hair, Ireland! The bear could smack him on the head. They're all in pain, yeah? Never singing a bikeyly. It can make me a clearly flight.

Now feed the nozzle of this icing beg into your anus and empty the lot. Well, I try, but I'm very worried about my castrate band. That worry my brother had to sign up and it proved very durable. So Steve being fading the nozzle in just as he started he heard the baker's scream out in agony and drop onto the floor. It was Kasper with his tail wound around the handle of his handrail, drilling the bit deep into the bearca's calf. Oh, thank you Casper, your brave little warrior.

Steve grabbed the drill in the tar and ran back to the car, so they sat in silence under the omelette cover, listening to the pattern of the rain and took it into their bearquilt heart. Listen to the pattern of the rain and tucking into their bear quilt art. Do you think he really would have made me feed all that I sing into myself? And Casper gave a look as if to say, Yeah gang bangers, you've got a fucking love them! I'm so pleased you found your drill Casper and I can't wait to see the nest of tables you're making for me. And that was their day out in Birkwell. Well, that's kind of just as I suppose, for what he did in Derbyshire last time.

But with his destroys and extra. Destroy your eggs at your? Yeah. I mean he escaped reasonably unscathed but the psychological trauma for the area will the whole area yeah psychological trauma will live on do you like a tart don't like the tart now again it's not about tart beer what is it I actually had you know them naked bars that I made out of like good stuff and that yeah I had one of them this morning in beer called tart form for me breakfast and was his satisfaction alright yeah it was better than like I was in a travel lodge then this one in Bickwell Tartform for me breakfast. And was it satisfactory? No, right, yeah.

It was better than like, I was in a travel lodge, it was better than going downstairs and having a fry up. So you went out and gone? No, I took it with me up Cape Repair. So you bought it as a car pack? Up north to contribute to the Northern economy, brought it down here, yeah, in England, London.

Are you a central sort of nub of the northern powerhouse? Are you a binkold that before? Yeah, I've been called a nub. A pasta wine bar this morning, Andrew. And it said education is important, but champagne is more important to. So what do you think of that? I think that should be removed from wherever it was.

Do you think it makes people go in or makes people? It's going to make people angry I think. I would have thought. Yeah certainly made me angry. I'll not be going in there later on. Does that Rome kind of be straight? It was on Old Compton Street. Because I came down can't I be straight again this morning. Did you? Yeah. How did you get on? Well when you walk down can I be straight, you never know what you might see. A ha la Quinn in a baseball cap and a man drinking hero and tea. That's what I saw. It can't be straight.

Would you like me to do a little quiz with your father? Oh, I haven't done a quiz yet. Yeah, I will be the quiz master. Go on then. It is called, cough, bark, crystal, ping,

whitening, peanuts! Woof, woof, protect, give me just a little more time. Charcoal, you have an adjurof, thump.

Okay. That's what it's called. The subject, in case you hadn't guessed, is toothpaste. Do you not use toothpaste? They're not familiar with it. Use it, I don't buy it, but I'll give it a go. Oh well, you know, it's all the widely successful colgate brand. From which shop? Azda. Azda. And this is the recommended retail price. None of this is very good. All right. Are they all the same size? Yes, there are 75 millilate tubes.

Promise. Yep. Uh-huh. I don't think about these sort of things. Not like you, we had Tesco one last time, but we could talk about that later on. Right, here's your choices. Max White Crystal Mint Gel.

Yeah. Max White Whitinging Protect. Natural Extract Charcoal Sensitive Pro Relief Whitinging. Yeah. Max White whitening protect. Natural extract charcoal sensitive pro-releaf whitening. And what are the brand? Colgate. All Colgate. All Colgate. Also 75 mils.

Do you want to hear them again? Well, I think the, I don't know, I think the charcoal is the most expensive. Right. I think the gel is the second most expensive. Right. And what I think. And it leaves pro-releaf whitening or whitening and protect then pro relief

whitening protect cheap cheapest Unfortunately, you will feel in your mission the charcoal was the most expensive at four pounds ninety five But then the pro relief whitening was three pounds.00. The Max White Crystal Mint Gel £2.95 and the Max White Whiting and Protect. You were correct there, that was the cheapest, that was £2.00. You have played and failed. Cough Bark Crystal Ping Whiting Pee Naaat!

Woof woof, protect, give me just a little more time! Charcoal, you have an edge of your mouth. Thump. Well, I didn't like that. I'm sure you didn't. I mean, it's like just one product, you know, like if I did Tetley's Tea, Brookbought Tea, Lipton's Tea. Well, do that next time if you want to see.

No, I wouldn't be, I think it's a cheap trick. Well, think of it as a revenge because you tested me on Tesco last time and lots of people got in touch and said that I was actually correct. About what? The order in the hierarchy. Oh yeah, I'm right. Yeah, I'm right.

No, you're not. You're worried about that. Pete will in Supermarket retail. All right. All right, touch. Shell stackers. People like that, yeah. Pete has been in touch. Pete the room. Pete the Shell stackers. People like that, yeah. Pate has been touched. Pate the room.

Pate the bed's like. Oh, I. Pate the room. Pate the bed's like. Oh, I. Pate the room. Pate the bed's like. Oh, I.

Pate the room. Pate the bed's like. Oh, I. Pate the room. Pate the room. Pate the bed's like. Oh, I. Pate the room.

Pate the bed's like. Oh, I. Pate the room. Pate the bed's like. Alright, Bob. Well, we've had a lot of sun shining recently and that always makes me feel a little bit sad. It makes me, you know, remember when I was a young I'd play football on the beach or chatting up the losses at the fun fair happy days doctor anyway a wife is back for the hospital now and has been told she used to get out there about a bit more you you know, help the circulation and reduce the swelling on the legs. So, so smiling like I asked where she would like to go, you know, for a trip out and about

like. Well, if I'm with you then somewhere where no one will fucking seeers together. Don't you like that, love? Don't you fucking lay down a lot of me sunshine? All you think you are, you're gonna be fucking Paxman? Well, what about we go to fishmongers in Granger Market, you know? Get you a nice bit of Taliban. Taliban, you mean fucking halibut? You're dosy fucking clown. Not a don't want to go to a 24 and fish shop. With these pills I'm on our

spielby contents like a fuck and top flush casie. Okay, what about we have a dry don't in the beach and a little paddle. They call it saltwater union and make me good for your legs, I don't know. Are you fucking serious? Do you want me fucking dead? The sea is full of shite flooring up from Sondland. I might as well smear me legs with fucking anaciation cack. Oh okay, no there those new problems man. What if we drive up the key of the dam and I will nice bit the launcher you pulled in.

And do one exactly, stir it the fork and water, count the fork and trees. But at least you'll be pretty fork and empty. I would have to put up with people laughing at your your fucking haircut. Does the pub do fuck an eggs? I have a look at the menu online, you know, here it is, they do eggs Benedict. So fuck an elaborate. Three egg omelet with choice of filling. Three fuck an egg! How would they fucking care in for a fuck and mice?

Pfft. Eh, Scot's egg and salad. Nah, just remind me of your big neck and fuck and bollock. The egg will be like a little lad bullet, fuck on that! Pfft. Ha ha ha. Oh, here we go, enough. Here we go. Egg and ques, mayonnaise sandwich. a'r lydlaedd bwllet ffwrdd a'r ad! O ewi'r gwybod o ewi'r gwybod eion cyllun mewn ys sonwyr. Cres ffwrdd yn creus! Datw'n gwybod yslym ar ni'n ymw'r cymw'r cymw'r mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn mewn me Well that is all the empty, she's up and saying we could carry a bag full of hard boilers

and now there's a picnic by the reservoir. Sit on the fucking deck with my swollen, fucking pins. How did you arrive on this fucking planet? Did you see that on HMS Clown show across the useless fucking scene? What do you want to do then, love? I want to sit on my fucking sofa, eat a cup of la porcise, only hour, every four hour, and watch back the back, New Zealand, board of horse. I've got ten episodes backed up on the platter,

and the pull of them is very fucking insistent. Oh, OK, love, well, I'll get the first batch of porches on. And I don't want to see your fork and spooky face, other than when you're fetching the porches. Ok and one more fork and thing. Yes, you'll. Make sure every batch is very f**kin' runny. I will don't love.

Sure Bobby, here I am in a spare room, I have a good stare at O' O' O' Inland, written to cook the next batch of porches. Here's quite nice, really, but I'd best go and I've got to cook the jokes, I'm your job, or for your fair play. I know you like that much. So, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me I've yellow teeth, dentist, whatcha I do, dentist replied, we're a brownie tie. So, that's it, your future, oxbob, you know.

So, I'll say you, Bob. One peat of beauty, and only one pe be a little bit about. Ah, so all Peter, she's having a right one there. And she's got a right off of the petrol truck as well, nice for fans of your work from 25 years ago. 25 years old, that one, yeah.

Well, right. She needs to sort of take that step, you know, when you've had major surgery. that step you know when you've had surgery you know you've got to get out your bed get out and about it is a difficult time yeah probably a bit scared really but she seems like she's doing quite a bit of exercise verbally oh verbally yeah she'll be alright alright alright that's Royal Chin up side that all there he is yeah go on let him in Alright, that's Royal Chin outside that. Oh there he is, yeah, go on, let him in.

Hey, right, right, you coming in? Yeah, I, alright. Stand aside, strip man, good man. You, you go, you go, you go. So you must be excited about the new season coming up right? Well, you some fairly satisfied with our transfer dealings at Crystal Fest. Quite a lot to be positive about! Okay, you're talking football, yeah.

Of course I am, I'm a football manager. What else will I be talking about? That's not easy, surprise me. I thought you'd be talking about Rayama. What? Rayama. I don't know what I'm doing, sorry. Really? Oh, wait a minute. What about Rayama?

What? Rayama. No, never do that a bit. Perhaps you're confusing me with Grandpa, the young new brightening over your furniture. But you always talk about Woaama, Roy. Look, the lawyers have come down on me like a ton of bricks. I'm not even allowed to mention it anymore. I'm fucked.

I'm probably gonna have to sell with Frizzo, I cover the legal bills. God, that's a shame, innit? What was that right? Nothing. No, it sounded a bit like nothing I have to go. I'm gonna go measure the fucking pin of the spot or something. I can't stand this. Well, she's fine See him go then. I think a rocket. He's a man. He's a little man, isn't he?

He's done his Roy Amma thing, and the Warhammer Pete will aren't that big. And they've done him all ends up. He's ruined. Oh, pull her right. He's ruined. Ruin, you have to go back football management now. And I thought he could still mention Warhammer,

because that's good for them. Well, it must have been part of the, yeah. I mean, none of them, none of the Scrooge are agreements to the get these days. And junction saw. One of them things, yeah. Hey, would you like me to be Bicy or Ringel star? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now, normally, Bicy is me go to, but I'm gonna tech ring or star. I'm ring or star! It used to be in the Beatles. Ha ha ha! I'm back. And I did Thomas the Tank Engine. Right.

Now the best thing about being in the Beatles was all the free sweeties. Yes. And cheeses. That is truly fucking awful. I wonder if it's as bad as my partner, can't we? Oh, the Beatles, you know, we were very much a vegetarian, bad, no, apart from Ringo, who used to like pork.

party party from Ringo who used to like pork. Oh, he should have chosen Boise. Never mind. God, give us a Boise. Marlene! That's better. There's now a bonus service from us called Club Passnips and once you subscribe, you'll get all of them in episodes like this one but three days in advance and with no adverts in them. You also get exclusive full episodes called Athletical Passnips plus exclusive animations from the podcast, compilation episodes and different when we do more live shows you'll get ticket links first as well. It only costs £2 plus free air tape a month and if you sign up today there's full exclusive Athletical Passnips episodes waiting for you to get stuck into and you won't get to

hear them anywhere else. To find out more and subscribe head to athleticorminz.com slash parsnips. Thank you. I'm getting me phone out Andrew Andrew, because Sean Dish, another he's done another motivational, I wonder what you call him, song, rap, I don't know, I'm a diet tribe, I've had it intercepted and I can play that song. I satellite, I satellite system, which is a very different thing. To a satellite, satellite to the sky, satellite system,

ground-based ground-based. So here it is. Whoa, that was a... I liked it. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Right, come on, Sean. Industry without product, pain without reward.

Nothing skillful, nothing fancy, nor back heels please, it's far too chancey. Industry, Mood, Pain, Shit, Discipline, Pie, Gravy,

Spam fritter, struggle, and that's the Burnley way. If you want some meat, make it tins, bring your phone into work, you'll get chinned. And that's the Burnley way. That was it from Sean. Yeah. If you want to, if you want to, what was it? A Keia. If you want to drink Avabaya, if you want to get a Keia. Yeah, and no back heels. No back heels for our to chancey. Very good.

I had an ant situation. An ant situation recently. What the flyers? Me kitchen. Not the flying ones. What, the flyers? Me kitchen. Not the flying ones, ground-based. Ground-based. Like satellite systems. Yeah.

Loans. Loans in me kitchen. And, do you know what I did? I mean, other people poor boy and water on them. Well, I tried to be human. And first of all, I sealed up all the holes that I could find. Good.

And then, remember me Chinese vacuum cleaner that I got with the dust buster setting? Yeah. Hovered the mall up with that. Yeah. Drought to the outskirts of town and released them. And released the ants. It's got a clear cylinder, so you can see inside.

You could see them all crawling around. Right. So I kept them as pets for a couple of years. In the pot. In the pot. Yeah. And then watched them and then drove them to the the outer skirt to town and just let them go. It's kind of like a Hoover Zoo for Chinese Hoover. So my Chinese Hoover, you poo poo'd,

there's come up trumps, just thought I'd tell you that. I mean quite easy to Hoover upper an ant, you know, those, it's dust that's hard to get. When they do demos, they always use little pins and things like, wow, that can suck. But it doesn't suck a lot of dust up, but it'll take an ant, ants are very robust though, they're quite, you know, they're quite hard, you can hear them crackling as they go up and hit the walls of the zoo.

But they survive because they're robust. How many do you reckon you so hovered up? Probably 300. 300 ants. It was quite an odd day, a quite an infestation, if you wanna call it that. How many do you reckon you so hovered up? 300. 300 and yes. Yeah. It was quite an infestation. If you want to call it that. I'd like to hear that story from the aunt's POV or point to you as well.

I'll drive to the outskirts of town and maybe there were a field recording. No, but what an adventure they've been on. Think of like, oh, mummy up shrunk, oh, you know, that area. Yeah. You know, imagine those aunts getting in the nest with their families and that. I'll shrunk, oh, you know, that area. Yeah. You know, like, imagine those ants getting in the nest with their families and that. I'll try and get something from them for the next episode. Well, you're not gonna be able to,

what you think they're gonna fuck an email you. I'm gonna find them, they're still be hanging around. Yeah, but you can't talk, Ant. Can you? You know, but what you could do is you could, right? You could, let's say you, you dumped them off on Alan Sheerah's field. Yeah. Right? And next week you could tell us's say you dumped him off on Alan Sheer's field. Yeah. Right. And next week you could tell us how Alan's got on with his new anti-armory. Right. I'll do that. I'll do that or I'll just forget about it.

Have you watched any good telly? Well, Andrew, I have and I haven't because I'm finally making that gentle Shift towards YouTube. Okay, you know, I'm everything's there though Everything's there. So all me 600 pound lives are there and because I've got sons They've put me on to like the re I don't know what's on YouTube. That's the problem for all these I don't is no menu, but you know what I mean? You've got a search Yeah, and you search stuff and it sounds promising and it's shit. A man eats tiger just turns out to be like a photograph of a tiger and a photo of, you know, it's just bullshit. I don't think it's just photographs on YouTube,

was it? No, but I'm just saying it's just, it's a massive clickbait festival in it. So, my son's told me about obvious ones like, you know, have you done an 10 Chilly Challenge show? No. That's very good. Right. Big celebrities like Brian Krunsten and Franco

and Gordon Ramsay and people have to eat from one to 10. Right. Chilly Wings. And the last one, like 2000 on the score failed, is it? Scale? Yes, it is. So, you watch their pain? Watching the pain of celebrities.

Yeah, and I watch Fairlarm, you know Fairlarm, I don't know that, that sounds very teenage. It's good fun though. Who feels? Everyone is on it. It's just like Beedle's program. I mean, there's loads of videos of people falling over.

Right. But I do like the ones at Wedding's, you know, where Brides fall over, over about 15 feet. And I've watched a cook in one called Bon Appetit, is the channel. And in a kitchen, they try and recreate things like Mars bars or Wattsits. And also they do one where they're blindfolded, but he can touch and smell a dish of food, right a chef And then the food's taken away and he has to cook what he thinks he is and then you say how different it was from what he was actually Touching and smelling right. I mean it might be the way you're describing these, but they all sound shit I don't know I've enjoyed them though. I've been watching our cops in the North and being

say, well, I wouldn't miss that shit. Yet another cop series set in the North East. I believe that at the minute, so it's like 89% of the North and Ripley's force are being followed by cameras. Yeah. Did you watch Canny Cups? I watched that. Yeah. Where was that?

Was that, was that, was that, was that, was that, was it held in the head in the head? Some were, one of those the head in the head. Some were dead. One of those cars. And the coast, yeah. That was... Grim.

So the fight in the pub was a bit nasty, wasn't it? On that one. I'll walk past that pub the way. After I remember saying that sign on the door, this pub was being shut because of a fight. Oddfellas, I think, it was a fight. Yeah, there's a really, really, really nice butchers across the road from that. Right.

That sells great pies. Yeah. Like a, a plate stick pie. Oh, wow. And this is butchers, I think it's cold. I hope it wasn't turned to by the anger generated and misery generated from the fight. Well, I went in and got a pie.

I'd seen the sign on the door of the pub and I went in and got a pie, no problem. So. And did you eat the pie cold? Or did you wait until you got home? It was for a family occasion. Really? It was too big just for me.

Excuse me, tell me what? It was a birthday party. A birthday party. A family birthday. A family birthday. And you got a steak and kidney pie. I got one of those. I got a combie for it as well.

You got it, so it's, and I got a sausage roll for me, dinner while I was there. Was this an adult's party or a child? It was an adult's party. So a dish, it was beige, buffet food. So an adult's, an adult's, an adult's, Sunderland party.

Yes. Which is a convief party. You used to say adult party, and it could sound like a summing one to one. Well, I think that's great. And but it wasn't. And the family party. Do you cook up some chips in your fryer?

No, no, no. Some chicken drumsticks. And what else will we have? There'll be some slices of ham on white buns, but not in sandwich forms, just halved, and then the ham on top. Oh, like smog as well. Like a smog as blood, exactly, yeah.

Breadsticks, dips, some crisps in a bowl. So a Sondland smog as bar. Dogs and sticks. Is that dogs and sticks? Yeah. Don't beef pie, Stank Kidney Pie. Do you get crisps in a ball? Yeah.

Who the hoops in a ball, yeah. And how much was left at the end? None of us. You kiddin' me. All gone. Yeah. Well, a negligible amount anyway. I suppose the Sondland lads put it in the pockets if he, they're not gonna waste it.

Other run a form and give it to their bends. It's been unpleasant now. I've listened to the latest Martin from Ones under the Amazs Radio show. You know where he looks around the houses of Ferdinand. I do. So I better play that, Andrew. It's over over listen to that Right to down in the sorry home of X in drink football keep goalkeeping footballer T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- What do you laugh in that? Nothing really. Though your hair looks like a fox's backside. What an unusual analogy, a bit different, but you know there's something about it that

I like. So this must be the lounge. It's a large open plan area with what a cool and naval theme is that because of your name? Seaman? Yes, my wife's idea. She's such a joker. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho visual punnest balls. I like it to be different and what's that unusual thing in the display case on the coffee table. That's my friend Martin. That my friend Martin. It's the famous ponytail that I had cut off in 2012. Yes, I can see that now. You will well know that in a ponytail. Now, you will well know that in the ponytail. Oh, it was your thing like what foxes head is my thing. Yes, they used to call me my little David.

Oh, I see like my little pony. Yes, I suppose that is funny. Did they call you any other names? Yes, Dozy Dave, Duff Dave and Hotballs. Hotballs, that's what I've used you all nickname, a big different brand of IKIT and this must be your games room, pool table, table soccer, little drink, spar in the corner, you spend much time eating here. Never come any more, it's like a tomb, a coffin for my youthful days. Can't see your kitchen, no no, listen to this luvano's around the kitchen. No you can't. Why not David? That's where I've set up my money laundering operation.

Really? No, just banter. I don't have a kitchen. It was eaten by a giant metal spider last week. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha him. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for crime files. Roger Meadows ran a small upmarket car sales dealership in the sleepy Chesa Town of Warzlo. It was a small but exclusive showroom that sold luxury marks such as Porsche Ferrari and Maserati. Business was steady and he was a popular member of the local community. Life was good for Roger until one day in September 2018 when a black Range Rover pulled

into his forecourt. Roger was stood with Nigel Hunt, who owned the nonsense pottery across the road when the Range Rover pulled up. Sir, hey, hey, up looks like they've got a few Bob, maybe not the usual tyre kickers for once Nigel, must infuriate you, dear people who have no intention of buying. Alright, just part of the game Nigel, it's just part of the game, at that point two men got out of the Range Rover. It was professional footballer Paul Pogba and his agent Stanley Pingapong.

Marco was the first to speak. Let me introduce more cellphones Stanley Pingapong and I'll represent the interests of Mr. Pogba. Paul. Hello! Paul requires the use of a red philogi for this evening. The publicity should be more than enough payment. I don't, I don't know, now, Carl Sir. You need to try a visor enterprise though I don't, you'll get a Ferrari. I don't think you understand. I'm taking the car whether you like it or not. We leave the range over here as security. We are talking Paul Pogba here, not some tubby fart like Luke

Shaw. Hello! I don't care if it's Luke Skywalker matey, you're not taking the car. Markle pulls a revolver out of his cold pocket. Is that so? Take me inside. Let's get the keys. Both of you move it. Is Marco instantly the same fellow? No. Marco forced both Nigel and Roger into the showroom. Mr. Pogba followed closely behind seemingly oblivious to what was unfolding. But as with most crime, there was a flashpoint, a moment of never going back. It was started by Nigel, the nuts and spotter. I've had enough of this. I've had it up to fucking here with no good fucking toy gangsters! I've been it's not even a real fucking gun!

Go and prove it! Prove it's real you little fucking cabinet of shit! Well, Marco took up the challenge immediately and shot out the wing mirror of a £200,000 Ferrari. Mr. Pogbus suddenly realised all was not as it should be. Paul pleaded with Marco. Oh, Mr. Marco, I don't belong to that. You can't cost me an arm in the leg with your trigger-appishian enigins. Listen, I don't want a red car no more. I want that big blue vase in the nonsense pottery opposite.

That's my nonsense pottery, matey. There's not a chance in fucking hell. It's locked up at the moment, and the key is in my fucking bum bag. Now get out before I ring the police. Within a blink of an eye, Marko a grab Nigel around the throat and was holding the gun against this temple. I'll fuck fuck get off me you peddler of fucking Tom! You'll pay for this my brother sells swords. Can you tell Paul can you tell me a bit about that blue pot in your window. Where the gunner gets my fucking head,

are you in the keeping of a fucking evil ghost? Let him speak Marco. I'm desperate to learn more about this blue nonsense pot. Marco lowered his gun and released his grip from Nigel's neck. Okay, I'm fucking gay. It's a clay body with coiling at the fucking base and a crackle glaze with a NAML detail around the fucking lip and yes it's fucking blue!

Is it to Matar, Blosglase, says Pogba? Mat, I'm not a fucking hotelier! How much for the pot says Marco? To you, £50,000 and not a fuck less! says Marco, to you £50,000 are not a fuckless! Well, we'll take it and the Ferrari that we shot up and remember Mr. Pogba was never here. With that Marco and Pogba left the fork or a Nigel and Roger were left to reflect on their harrowing experience. Honestly Roger, how'd you put up with these fucking Todd warriors?

Alright, it's easy Nigel. I take the asshole then I take the money, that's the name of the game. What's you going to do with that 50 grand? I'm going to get arse in plants and an apron with tits on the front. What are you thinking of that? Very nice. D- D- D-

D- D- D- D- D- D- D- D- D- Struggle the bit with me prices there Andrew. Ah, I didn't really notice. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ambassador. Amazing grace. It's a lot to any of the members isn't it? How sweet the song. Thank you. Thanks

bubba. See you. Thank you.