Athletico Mince - Ep. 92 - Just Hooves

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

Steve and Casper visit a nonsense pottery shop, Bob goes to Slaughters, the Guru returns, there’s a quiz, Dyche guests on TalkSport, and more… Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a Theticov Mint with me Bob Mortimer. As always I hope your days going well and that those around you are treating you with respect and kindness. In particular, I hope you have at least considered adding more ox tongue to your diet. It's a very sweet meat. Before we start, I would like you to imagine you are walking down a sunny tree-lined lane, perhaps in the cotswords. There is nothing to disturb your peace and tranquility apart from bird song in the occasional Tommy Squeaker that you emit in recognition of your boiled egg breakfast. And then you hear the sound of a

clapped out Ford Fiesta approaching you playing Dutch Drum and Bass through its open windows. It passes you at great speed and its fat spherical headed northern driver throws a half-eaten Greg steak steak bake at your feet shouting, What wrong that short ass? Listen gentlemen, please welcome my co-host Mr Andrew Dawson. Oh Mr. Fiesta, Mr. Fiesta. Oh Mr. Fiesta, Mr. Fiesta. He's like the outskirts of Lester. He's like Mr. He's a Borky Jester. Oh, Mr. Stake Bay.

Oh, Mr. Stake Bay. Should've bought a micro. A micro. His brow is 10% Leicester. It's Leicester. There you go, I do. How does that make you feel? Oh, that makes me feel alive. Actually, it's very accurate for once. Oh, you drive it for yesterday, you do. I know. It's more of a dream to pipe dream really. A drive scored at Octavia. That's quite like a lower salesman, sort of lower executive driver.

That's a driver's all driver them because they're good reliable cars. Oh, I can see you are love reliability. I can see you at some shitty, sundling used car with him saying, well, you can't go wrong with the activity. I like, you know, these, these will do like a 250,000, 1000 miles, these easy and this one's only got 36, 36,000 miles on the clock and it's 11 euro

world you can't go wrong can't you go wrong pretty good on it you was really just 35,000 miles previous one was very nervous so you talk it is it led me to diesel it's a little bit unledged pedal it's unledged petrol so that's that's helps the planet I used to have a diesel yeah, I scrapped it Did I tell you about the time I scrapped me? No, but that sounds quite interesting. It was really good fun when it was scrapped my G.I. in Sunderland and you drive it in you cure up because everyone scrapped on the Car's A's dear yeah, and then you drive it under the the big weighing machine

Yeah, and it wears it yeah, and then you go up to the hatch and the fellow gives you a number and my number was 142 pounds. You still remember, all right, that's cash, that's not the weight of the car, 142 pounds would be very light for a car. And what was that vehicle? Look at your sit-run Picasso. He he he.

Was it light blue? Dark blue. Dark blue like a family man. Yeah, yeah, I got it. And then he gives you a check and then the drive your car off on your wave goodbye that experience you don't get to see it crushed though I would have I would have given back 25 quid of that 142 to see it get crushed you know well let you say it but don't don't straight away it wasn't of course it's like a big

pile right when you say the sun done scrapage area whatever do you mean the town center do you mean the town center? Do you read the town center? Joseph Names gone then Todd Fisherman. Well, here's the thing I've got some notes for you this week and my first one is Todd awful So that's interesting, isn't it? Yes, you could be Todd Fisherman. Yeah, Fabulous Jouley

Oh, I'll need a prop tube. Oh, who was that? I was the only a prop tube, as was it? All you prop tube. No, thank you. None of them? None of them, thanks. You will remain. What are you running out dogs?

Yeah. Well, you can be that then. I'm offering you Todd Offel. He cooks up to 20 kilos of liver and audience every day. No, not at rest. Hold on and don't it in the sea at night Yeah, I thought Rick Siger of song Rick Siger of songs. He knows the words to over eight songs, right?

And he sings themself sings them to himself under his pillow every night as his wife weeps beside him Everything without one okay.. Okay, what about P.A. Steyers? P.A. Steyers, so heavily P.A. Stwyck Glass Bades, that when he drives over a speed bump in his mobility scooter, the residents think the milk floor has arrived. Yes, obviously. P.A. Steyers, good evening, and welcome to the show P.A. Steyers. It's like a very much honky tongue.

So, have you got anything you'd like to, I could kick off with a quiz if you want to do that. Oh, I want to quiz please please Thea lot Jesus Christ the baby son of a small lamb, right. Please let it just be three options. Here we go It costs it's three options. Okay, right this quiz is called buying Bunchak Arthur Whoosh P nerds. Oh Give me just a little more time Archie turn it in, dachshus!

Thunk boing Give us a-give us a boi-see Mmm, Marlain! I'm gonna give you three names, three mill names Right These are baby names, 2018 I want you to tell me which was the most popular of the three And...

Me, Steve, I got you I got you I got you, I got you, I got you Here are the three names. Arthur. Okay. Ar-law. Okay.

Archie. What's the most popular beer being named? Oh, then Bob Mortimer. I'll go Archie Moss popular. Archie Moss popular. Ar-law's second most popular. Oh, and the third one. I can't remember. Arthur. Oh, Arthur was Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. Arthas. You reckon that's the order yeah Arthur was the 10th most popular beer in him 28 a and RG was the 15th most popular Allo was the 37th most popular

Thank you. I enjoyed that suppose I enjoyed it because I won you have attempted and beaten boring Bunchak Arthur whoosh attempted and beaten Boeing Bunchak Arthur WUS, that's gonna get you. Oh, Andy. What? You know, Barry on on the works as a stage, and yeah. Yeah. Well, as part of his in like internal review about the bosses and that, he had to be filmed

showing a prospective purchaser around a house. I managed to get all of the footage. Did you? Yes, or this is a podcast, you know, we don't do videos. I know about the audio from it. It's a very wafer, what is it? What is it? It's come as a wafer.

It's come as a wafer, so I'll play that part in the clip. Wafer, got that. Yeah. Hi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do come in a runie. I'm Barry C. Holmone. What's C for you? Ask. And I reply sailing a runie. I'm Barry C. Holmone. What's the C for you ask? And I reply sailing ships in,

but I'm just doing that for the lovels. My God, you're cute. Great. So this area we in is the hallway. It consists of a ceiling and two parallel walls. Benito's is a floor that they're very thoughtfully placed beneath our feet to aid in the walking process. When was the house built? I don't know. Great question no. Now through this portal here is the

entertainment hub featuring TV aerial points, telephone socket, dimmer switches and a kissy cuddly sofa. Shall we try that out? No, no, that's okay. Does it have central heating? I don't know. Great question, no. Right, step through these doors and we are bang plump in the cooking socialising hub that my popper, God blesses with the neck, would have called the kitchen. There are various heights within this room, ranging from just a couple of millimeters at floor level, up to nearly eight feet just seconds under the ceiling. Plenty of

surfaces for preparing eG smoothies. Do you think I'm a smoothie? Don't answer that no need. I know I am. Lots of electricity holds for your canpature tube machine, your Alexa and your decks and mixes. Right, is the floor real weird all-aminous? I don't know. Is the local school any good? I don't know. Are you allowed to park outside the house? I don't know. Is the local school any good? I don't know. Are you allowed to park outside the house? I don't know but what a great little bundle of questions you are fun with the capital trumpet Right, this portal is known as the back door because it's to the rear of the property And it leads to the outside garden. It's a really nice feature. I think that they've put the garden outside

Do you have any pets a cat a dog a dog? A monkey? Six parrots? That kind of thing? I've got a cat. It's called... Don't tell me, let me guess. Mickey Houseboat. No, no, no. Rony Broccoli. No. Tom Wind. It's a girl actually. Well, I love girls. What a great choice. Shall we go back inside and look at the bedrooms? Do the Barry C. mattress assault course? Actually, I think I've seen enough. Thanks for your time, Cheerio. Oh, one last thing. Do you fancy a shag for a girl?

Uh, I don't know. Well, we'll do you one not. Uh, no, no. I-you know what, I'm okay. I'm in a bit of a rush, meeting the lads from the Audi garage for a lunchtime spiffle. Nice drive though. Hey, is it okay if I tell the lads you my girlfriend But Andrew there was no reply. Oh to that she gone leaving Barry to lock up on his own and

as he stood there alone in the flat, he thought to himself, Yeah, yeah, I think she liked me, I think it could have been something. She could have moved in with me, it's my beautiful cul-de-sac, and we could have spent many hours, hours, many hours, you know, making smoothies, cappuccutut, chuchu, chuchu, chuchu, chuchu, chuchu. But I'm afraid it wasn't to be. She's left me in a river off. She's left me in a river off.

She's left me in a river of tears. She's left me in a river. She's left me trying to see my river. She's left me in this job for too long now, you know? Lost my spark, lost my juju, you know what I mean? I'm thinking to myself, maybe if we had got together, it wouldn't have worked out, you know, she probably wouldn't have got me, probably wouldn't have been on the same level as me reaching up high, high high for the business sky. You know, it's probably for the best, cause... I would have left her in a river! I would have left her in a river!

Face down in a river! With my foot on her back! I would have left her in a river! She I was left in a river She'd have gone in that river Faced out in the river in a flood of tears In a flood of tears And Barry locked up Yeah, I took a dark dark turn I wasn't quite expecting that. Well

Barry, I went to the side to Barry's life. Oh Barry, you'll get some work. Frisid possibly. Oh so Andy, I was up near Alexander Palace again last week so I passed by a slaughterhouse as it were,VS I popped in it's nice isn't it? that's very nice so Adrian Lewis had just arrived before well I don't know if it Adrian Lewis was already there yeah and he was just being seated so I sat down in the

booth next to him and I had a good old listen alright I says how it went good afternoon sir I was like finding you today the moon sir, I was like finding you today. Oh cut the small talk, it's like busted, and get me fed the full comp. Of course sir, so fucking sorry sir, make yourself comfortable, open up your gullet, and allow us to take you on a magic of fuckery to it, yeah. Oh yes you filthy meety hater. By the time we're done for you sir. Your large intestine will be so full it'll think it's an all inclusive holiday camp.

Oh fuck, what have you got for us starter today? Look and I recommend the soup sir. It's made from the boiled up gastric juices of a panther with some fruit flies. Got a lot of throat. Froat? Oh, um, yes, it's the culinary name for the flies. Nackas, uh, nothing to worry about. No good, hard to hear it. Put me down for some of that.

Does it come in a ball or in a bucket? Nucket, sir. Next time, if you order it in advance, workin' avid pumps, shit up, you're in a syringe. Hey, all that sound of that, you're too us, ring your back. Oh, I love the sound of that, you two at. And how about your mint it is? Hang on, hang on, all your horses, watch that a bonnable smell coming from the kitchen. I fancy a bit of whatever that is.

Oh, that's nothing to do with the menu, sir. Ron Craigs' person to physician is here. She and Jin runs bandages for him, runs giving his wounds a bit of an air in at the moment. Oh, well dip some white bread in it and I'll have that on the side. As you wish, sir. Right, we've got two choices for the means for you to do. The hormone fuel tits of a koalabé,

slaughter roasted in a paramunky lick, Oh, stop your eye on there. You've got me. What a flairver with a home. I'm on the sea for a while, I'll have it. And whatever the other thing is, because the koala tits don't sound very filling. Option two is some hoos. Tell me more. Now it's just fuckin' hoos, man. What, you ain't even- no.

No, true, true. Tell you what. I'm in a bit of a hurry, just mushit all up in a carrier bag And I'll wear the bookie round me neck as I go about my business I'm very good, sir And then just then Ron Cragg's e came out flying out of the kitchen and asking if anyone wanted to lick him So I just made a shot, I said, I think, do you think I were right to do that? I think you're the right thing, you don't want to be offered with a girl lick on Ron Craig's wounds. She left me in a river! Oh, lucky!

It's catchy! Cram files, do you reckon? Why, are you ready with your... Just about. I see that breaking bad trailer has nicked my um motorcycle noise yeah? Honestly the reach of affector mints so Vince Gilligan sat in his all-out and very positively. So I've seen oh I love this mints oh what's that sound? I gotta have it! Uh, where is it? Wait till Brian hears this!

Uh, I am ready. Okay. Crime Files. Okay, crime files. The Darbyshire Dales counter-monks the most beautiful areas of the British countryside. The Hamlet of Brockham is a jewel in its crown. Once famous for the production of sivs and brass buttons, it is now a rural escape for the well-to-do of the large Midland towns. But even in such an idl, such as this, if you scratch the surface there is

evil lurking below waiting to rear its head. On the 2nd of March 2009 there was not so much as a scratch but a full blown excavation. On the outskirts of the village was a small refurbished barn, it was the home and workplace of Neil Hunt, a nonsense potter. That day he was alone in the potry, talking to his clay wholesaler on the telephone. This is Neil Hunt, nonsense potter, and I'm very dissatisfied with the latest batch of clay you sent me. Your terms and conditions clearly stated that it had a very low shrinkage rate

and excellent testicity. Well that was a fucking lie. I threw a military-themed suit bowl on my wheel and it had walked before I even got a chance to kill it. What are you going to do about it? Tell me, what are you going to do about it? Come on, tell me, I fucking dare you. Come on, tell me I fucking dare you! My-no! Shit! Sorry. My-my technique! My technique!

You have actually just said that I'm Neil fucking hunt! The greatest nonsense potter to have walked these fucking lowly streets! And you sir are the biggest fucking fraud in the shitty kingdom! Take this as your notice to fuck off! At that moment a customer entered the shop, it was Steve McLaren, ex-Alan footballing strategist and founder member of the British Managers lunch club. Thank you all for early. Hello Mr Potter, what a lovely shop! Yeah you want what you actually want do you

want to actually want some nonsense pottery are you just a rim kicker yes I'm very interested in their purchase it's my snake casper's fifth birthday and I thought you might like a little pottery tableau know, like a pottery shoe with some kittens poking the sweet innocent thesses out. Did you say snake? You're buying a gift for a snake. Is your mind touching the fucking void or something? No, don't be da. Casper is my best friend in the whole wide world. He's like a bucket of peaches with creamy whipped cream on top and a sprinkling of cuddles. Well, fair though. And you think he would like a pottery fucking shoe? Yes, I do. I think

he would give him a fun rush and a lovely smiley moment. If you say so. By the way, a piece of orange glaze seems to have drifted onto your forehead, you'd best brush it off. No you silly rudely from the plonkish county, that's my hair island. There once was a manager had an incredible idea. It came to him while shopping on the first floor of Ikea. He stared into a mirror at the island on his head and realised in that moment that all other styles were dreaded. He'd grown a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And it's me, Harry, I learned you naughty bogey. F***ing half-wit. I've only got one piece that might be suitable. It's on that shelf there by the military-themed potty. Steve walked over to the shelf and reached up for the kitten shoe tablo.

But as he did so, he knocked the military-themed potty and it fell to the floor, smashing into a hundred pieces. F***. Quite a long one, eh? What have you done? What have you actually gone? 100 pieces Well, long one What have you done? What have you actually gone and fucking done that pottery is irreplaceable Why me why is it always little fucking me? I've given literally hundreds of pounds to useless kids over the years I sometimes wish I never fucking bothered to useless kids over the years! I sometimes wish I'd never fucking bothered! Oh come on Mr Hunt, it's just a bit of nonsense, part of PUTTY PUTTY! Surely you can knock

another one up! Neil grabbed McClaren by the collar of his Moss Bros blazer. Oh sorry. Knock up another! I'll fucking knock you up, such eyes! Can't down your silly Robby St. Clunker, I'm sure we can settle this habit, can't believe! But Neil was in no mood to compromise. He began shaking McLever and McLever and covering his blazer with spit as he barked in anger. You're fucking paid for that log of laugh! Do you realise how many nonsense hours went into crafting that military-shitting pot? Casper! Casper come quick, help me but darling!

Casper, the snake rushed through the door and raised his head up facing Neil. And that snake can fuck off! You should know that my sister-in-law's father is in the fraud squad, and my brother is in negotiations to purchase a knife factory. Fuck me, that snake stinks! With that cusp-e-lept at Neil and coiled his body around Neil's neck, he began to squeeze tightly and Neil's face began to redden under the pressure. Call him up, call him fucking up!

But Steve didn't say a word and soon enough, the steam Neil fell to the floor unconscious and his slacks covered in urine. Casper released his grip. Oh thank you, thank you Casper, my little jug of gravy, bravery. Look what I got for you birthday. It's a shoe in kitten pottery tableau. Casper smiled and you it would give you a smiley moment and a fun rush. 20 minutes later Neil came round to find his shop empty and note on his table explain that Steve was taking the shoe cat tableau as compensation for dry cleaning of his Moss Bross blazer. This fucking country, this fucking Todd Warrer is taking over, but believe me I won't go

without a fight, I'm Neil fucking hot, nonsense butter! Spotted Crime file Poor poor Neil get very frustrated with the world any yeah Shame in it Are you only dead wise? You only don't rise, I'm good. My cat appeared at me back door, right, with a unusual incident, with a little burn in his mouth, so I took it from him and it looked all right, all the sound. So I took it into the kitchen, put it in a little box that I think had previously contained like a measuring jug, yeah. So that's nice thing for a box to previously contain in it. It's good to use, yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, about half an hour later I checked on it and it wasn't in the box and I couldn't find it anywhere. Right. I assumed it had flown out of the kitchen. There was a little window open. So a bit later I was out in a bath and I could hear me sun playing Xbox in this bedroom. Right.

When I went to his room after me bath, my son wasn't there. Right. Yeah. But, there's another floorboard to sat on his gaming chair with the little bird playing tour of Juntie. So that's a didn't happen. What is it this day? Didn't not one of the year award, didn't not one? Didn't happen of the year award. That't it? Did not what? Did not what the year was, that good. Well, if you got Andrew. I'm usual incident, I found one non-line of the day, an undertaker from Manchester kept a marathon bar

and he's biscuit tin for 30 years. That's some usual incident, isn't it? When the change, the snake as he kept it, it's like, it's not an incident and the, I don't know, I occurrence, the fact. You know, we didn't need to be an incident Andy? I don't know, I have a currents, a fact. You know, we didn't need to be an incident, and then when you opened it, blah, blah, blah. You still intact, I don't know.

I watched them last night on YouTube, I watched a 1965 Vietnam emergency, a Russian 10-been open. Now I say add the pouch. I haven't got into this yet, but I need to add a poucha sugar. Poucha sugar, poucha coffee, a cornflake bar, a fruit and nut bar, some chicken soup and like an egg and cheese, like lunch and meaty roll thing. And I've always a lot of quest thing, of all all those things which is the only one that was in edible

All in a tin seal chicken thing they're checking soap. Yeah, no, it's a you really like that. I cooked it up He really liked the only one that didn't survive was the conflict bar. Yeah, that's it. I'd tired I've got mixed feelings about this because if he's gonna look for this stuff, he should be giving it a muse. He must be not fucking eating it on YouTube. I don't think that that's rare. I don't think so. I don't think so.

Well, I'm not sure. No, I'm not sure, but I don't think so. Come back when you show. How about that? Alright, I'll come back when I'm sure. Right. Hello, Robert. The Goon.

How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? How high go, Robert? Love it. The gooo. Oh hi girl. Do you do not be alarmed. How much? Comments, eh?

I want you to think today about possessions. Okay. Do you have a possession that you treasure? More than any other family heirloom or something of major value? Yes, I have a picture that I really treasure here. Yeah, it's very valuable. No, not really, but valuable to me, you know. Everything is valuable.

Sorry? Do you have anything that's valuable that you treasure? Anything that's valuable. A bit of military value, yes. Ha ha ha. Okay, good, wrong turn. So a picture. I really like my hot tap in my kitchen.

That's quite expensive. Is that easy to disinstall? What a great picture. I'll hope you're out of town. I've got a lovely painting that must be worth probably five, six hundred and a quarter. You see, you're all but clinging onto that piece of treasure, you probably don't realize but it's causing you to continue with what I call micro worries. Okay.

Um, but you're not even aware of it but they're interfering with all seven of your chakras. Okay. Now you should give that a pain to me. Atty, you will free yourself from all that worry and you'll feel truly liberated under life. So you want me to give you the paint? Oh you're giving me, yeah, you're gonna give me it.

And you think that will really help? Yeah. You're gonna give me it? Okay, good really, yeah, the paint's in yours, yeah. Good, thank you very much, I'll come around tomorrow, pick you up. How are you, how are you waterworks, Walb? Are you, are you driving to the shops with a bucket between your legs? No, I mean, I probably should, they're not great.

Do you have to ascend staircases with extra caution in case the seal breaks when you're not expecting it? No, I'm not that bad, but I do have to run quite quickly at the toilet. No, I'm forrest, my well. They've got near the treasure. No! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha a nice silver candle-arbitist sterling silver but it must be worth 100 quid or something. Oh that's well yes. I've got that some more. The gooo is now departing for new robots.

Be still and that. See you go, Ro. See you. Oh. You were here, are you? Yeah. He was explaining the go-ro that like, so I've got like, I don't know, micro problems because I'm clinging to me Andy. Yeah. He was explaining the go-ro that like, I've got like, I don't know, micro problems because I'm clinging to me possession.

Yeah. So it's brilliant in it. Yeah. I'm going to give him, let me pay him 10 and a candle out, bro. It's a trick or a 10 and a weird thing. Yeah. And that'll lift the way all the worries. Oh, I hope so.

Oh, that's good, isn't it? Yeah, so it's proper go-ro, really. MUSIC Did you listen to Talksport much this week? You know what, I'm really busy, I haven't known. It was just disappointing because I like to try to keep abreast of everything that's gone. Please tell me that you've recorded some of it for us.

Well, there was a Jim White, had a good guest on top. Oh, right, record it, you know. Thanks Bob. So, I'll press play, then I'll let. Click. Click. Welcome back to the Jim White Show. And boy, oh boy, oh oh boy am I excited today.

I tell you how excited I am. There's so much anticipatory sweat pooling in my crack that my winnets will need a rowing boat to escape the flooding. And the reason I'm so excited is that I'm joined today by none other than Burnley Manager Sean Daish. Welcome Sean and tell me how excited are you to be here today? I'm very excited Jim. Are you pooling?

Not yet. But I've got a Burnley scarf with me to stuff down there when the torrent arrives. Oh that's great. And listen, please phone in and tell me what unusual items you have used to mop up your juices when you're suffering intense excitement oops there goes another pint of mock so Sean what's the secret of burnley success we do things the Burnley way and what exactly is that it sounds terribly exciting listen up I'll tell you right now I've got me problem of not having a fucking...

Yeah, but we'll see how we go. You know we'll see how we go. Just do your best. Now I've got that part of... Right, you've isolated that bit of you. But that's it. Listen up. I'll tell you. I'll tell you.

Do as you told and don't talk back. I need a beat and a... Can't give you a beat, you know. Can you? Do as you told and don't talk back, play ten in defence and one in attack. Piss in a sink when you get the chance, tell your wife to fuck off if she asks you to dance. Oh my poor song's gone and never without purpose, entertainment is a no-no. If I catch you wearing perfume, then it's time for you to go go and remember, shit. Shit. Oh, that is... And remember, Shit. Flam.

Shovels. Kidneys. Pie. Soil. Chips. Tees. Midgees. chips, chips, midges and that's the Burnley way here. That is the most exciting, most traditional WAV or MP3 I've ever heard. WAV. I'm afraid my cowboy bolts at boots have never filled with mocks or whilst I pour that into my excitement trough? Let's take a break!

Lumpu-ee, lumpu-ee, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-do-way, lumpf-ee-soap, lump-ee-cake, lump-ee-clothes, lump-ee-face, lumps in your mattress, lumps on the walls, so many lumps that the footsie falls! If lumps are shitting in your carburetor, why not switch to Pearson's lump-fade spray? Simply spray on the lump and it fades like a puppy in a teleporter. Making love in a lump-free way with Pearson's lump-fade spray. A lump-fade spray, lump-fade spray, lump-fade spray, lump-fade spray, lump-fade spray, lump-fight spray, Lump Freight spray, Lump Freight spray, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the WAV. That's the WAV, that's the WAV from Tospa. That's a WAV.

So there was a WAV within a WAV there, then, because, Yeah. Played a WAV within that WAV. Like a WAV within a WAV. Wow, a dream within a dream. Fancy that. Can I do a little song? Yeah, go on.

This up. I haven't got any music for a barge. I hope you'll just bear with me. It's been a couple months now. We've become the best of friends. He defrosts the park in the microwave. While I chop up the veg. Fox, Emma, kitchen.

We're making great team and we can't be breed. The Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Duster, his tail is super fine Fuck We locating from the kitchen He's become a real pal of mine Fucks Enter the living room Providing valuable relief from my daily woe woes Fucks I'm the lamppin' at floor If he gets upon the sofa I just smack him on my nose

Fucks Enter living room Fucks Enter kitchen Fuck, fuck, f**ks, f**ks, f**king everywhere! Yeah, yeah! Nice f**si vibe, lovely f**si vibe. I've been up in there. From a sweat on after that, I think the tails are cute. They're lovely, aren't they?

Yeah, really good for, you know, dust and... Yeah, and that. No, when I said tails, I meant the stories at the tail. Ah-ha! Is that it then? Yeah, see? Yeah, and then... No, when I said tales, I meant the stories at the tell. Ah! Ah! Is that it then? Yes, see ya! Yeah, sure.

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