Athletico Mince - Ep. 94 - The 100

Episode Date: November 8, 2019

Phil Jones unveils his Nutflix trailer, Martin Roberts drops in on a celebrity, Vince Parsnips returns and The Beardsleys get a visitor. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Answers to all your questions should be found at atthliticalmins.com slash parsnips and you can sign up at patreon.com slash athletico mince. PASS NETS! Music Go! Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to our Thetical Mints with me Bob Mortimer. As always I hope you're in good spirits and enjoying fine health. I would like you to imagine that you are driving Route 66 across the USA.

You're at the wheel of a bright red open top 963 Chevrolet, the wind in your hair and nothing but the open road and blue, blue sky ahead. And then in your rearview mirror you see a rusty citron Picasso approaching. Soon it is right up your backside and furiously firing off its horn as the sounds of Albanian trunks escape from its missing windows. It overtakes you throwing plumes of desert dust into your lungs, you cough and the engine splutters. As you pull over and leave the Chevy you see a chicken-dipper omelet has been dust into your lungs. You cough in the engine's splutters. As you pull over and leave the Chevy,

you see a chicken-dipper omelet has been trapped in your radiator. The day is ruined. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my co-host and Sitra and Picasso driver, Mr. Andrew Dawson. Hi, Andrew. Hi, boy. I'm Mr. Andrew.

Mr. Andrew. Someone must love you Someone must have perhaps your alcation Or the lass at the gravy station Oh Mr. Picasso With his face like cards rowing down Someone must love you Well made bet your dad wish he'd win through Someone must love you. Well, maybe.

Bet your dad wish he'd win through. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, I know. I know. That is a bit cruel. Yeah, but it don't mean it. It's funny, though, and it makes people laugh at my expense. If that's the main thing.

How did you know about my love of Albanian trance, anyway? I've heard you. You know, I'd be bad. I've heard you on the streets of London. Pumping it out. Oh, you busted. It was my favourite Albanian trans artist. Feed your.

John Omsk. John Omsk. Yeah, John Omsk. Just how good is John Omsk? He's the best. He spread out to the nearby Estonian scene as well. Really? He does some guest appearances in Estonia.

Montenegro, one dayegro one day, he wishes. Yeah, yeah, baby. So you can be John Omsk. Oh, yeah. I'll be John Omsk. I'll be John Omsk. I'll be John Omsk, yeah. Can you sit, can you?

John Omsk. John Omsk. John Omsk. There we are. Give us a quiz, Andy. Before we begin. Give us a quiz. You're bastard.

Give us a quiz, please. Give us a quiz. You're bastard. I'm begging on my knees. Well, I've even got one of them. Quiz has been only there. We've got a Ringo Marlin, which is the very elaborate true or false game where I ask you a bunch of questions. And if the answer is true, I'll say it in the style of Ringo Star free sweeties. Okay. And if it's false, I'll say it in the style of John Chalice from Only Fals and Horses. Marlene! I'm ready. Trouba Fals. Are you ready? Hit me. Hip or milk is pink. Fals.

Free Sweeties. Troub. Oh. The DLR train line in London isn't it enough to David Lay Roth? False. Free, sweeties, that's true. Is it? Fuck. Come on, let's have some... Is this true? Let's have some listener trusty, yeah. It's not true.

Well, I just lent on me laptop. Laptops are mobile computer, did you know that? No. Go on, number three I expect. Number three, Super Mario isn't actually super. Hmm, true. Marley, it fucking is. Oh, what we've got next. Well, I'll see it in French.

The geoteen, the geoteen, ge guillotine was abolished in France in 1979. Two. Marline! It was actually 1981, 1981! It was shopping heads off to 1981. Don't know if it was used, I think it might have been rusting a bit, a bit seized up, but it was still left in the middle of it. Wow! I'll have one more. The doll Barbies full name is Barbara Mortimer. False. Free sweeties. That's true. That's true, Andrew. That's true. Andrew, Barbies name is Barbara Mortimer. No, it's not. Mickey Mouse's original name was Mortimer Mouse. It was, yeah. I know that much. Did he used to call you that in the playground at school? No, because he was the cartoon

of his unados. Chessy round. I never got chester. All right, kidder. We got caught through it. I did the chester. All right. Of course he did. Yeah. And little stumpy legs. Really exciting. Prandulate and around. Prandulate. Yeah. Really exciting moment, Andrew. Why? It's going to be difficult for me to pull off. Let me just warn you that. Go on. But Phil Jones, Manchester United, is making a movie about himself. Why wouldn't he?

He's got a lot of time when he doesn't say it. You know, for Nutflex. Yeah. And I managed to get old of a trailer he's made for it. So I thought people might like to have a listen. Yeah. It's WAV. W-A-V. Capital W-A like to have a listen. Yeah, it's WAV Capital W.A.V actually WAV. Yeah, when it converted

I've converted it for you. I've converted to WAV. Okay. Good wish me luck on this one Andrew. Good luck Robert Here we go. It's neither night area in president. Good luck Robert. He could be could be't he? Good luck Jonathan, yeah. Yeah. Phil Jones, it make Philip Anthony Jones defender defensive midfielder an occasional right back for Manchester United. Well known for his physical power and his mysterious visible face. The 2020 Europa League has reached its climax at Stadium in EG in Gdansk a sharp intake of breath to evolve it out of the room as Phil Jones is chosen to play in the centre-half slot. Cooked at teams emerging from the tunnel, Phil Jones looks like a gladiator, the Spanish bustage gauring in his magnificent shadow. Cooked to half time, Philip Jones a single

underdly repelled every Spanish attack putting his body up wide and his brilliant football in mind into overdrive. Cut to the match enters its final phase, the scoring nilich and the Manchester defences under constant pressure. Only Phil Jones stands defiant. He will not let them pass. Then some Argentinian player will on Mullet glides towards United Box and is brought down clumsily by the Tyron Harry Maguire.

United Build a Wall. Phil Jones takes his place at Ender Wall but then how to corner his eye. He sees the tricky as mullet lad on marked at corner box. Using his brilliant football mind, he concludes that he should leave wall just before free kick his stroke and mark the algae. This is in direct contradiction of the manager's instructions, but this is Phil Jones, Maverick, independent thinker and defensive genius. The severe captain stands next

at Ball, braves in deeply. He runs up as if to blast Ball Goldwoods, but instead chips it gently towards Far Post. Just as Phil predicted, it is intended for the algae Mullet Lad, already rushing into the box to head it home. Phil is ahead of the curve, he's already peeled off from the wall, as if in slow motion the ball spins towards far post, traveling directly into the path of the Agilad. Phil's instincts were alright, but he has he left it too late. Phil runs backwards keeping his brilliant football eye on ball, he can feel the eyes of 20,000 United fans on him. He knows their hopes and dreams now rest on his broad, powerful shoulders. As the ball begins to

arch above him, he prepares to leave higher than any part time defensive midfield it has ever jumped before. The agile ad jumps like Cobra achieving a perfect alignment with the ball's trajectory. He arches his back and thrusts his head forward, a certain goal. But then, like Gandalf at Hoaxlandin, the pancake face of Philip Anthony Jones appears and heads the ball away from the Argy's forehead. And straight into his own goal

bugger bugger bugger that's it and no was and that excited was a rollercoaster? I gotta say that on Nutflix with a cum. I remember when Phil John signed for Manchester United, Ferguson signed him, didn't he?

And he said, you know, this lad's gonna be the top set of back for the next 10 years. And we all went, okay, then. Okay. And now you've got someone like me, look at me. Yeah. Right? Someone like me regarding Phil Phil Jones as a figure of

hilarity. I hope he comes through his present different boys. No but I hope he does come through him you know I mean. Well yeah I obviously hope I'm the best for everyone me because that's what I'm like but I don't think it's going to be alright. Well, as you know Andrew, I always listen to Martin from Arms Under the Ammon is Radio Show where he takes a look around famous football people's homes. Right. It was Rai Hodgson this week, you know, so I recorded it and I loved it onto MP3. And MP3, did you convert that from a WAV? No, straight MP3.

Did you record a straight MP3? And a straight MP3. Were you not concerned did you convert that from a wav? No, it's straight to MP3. Did you record a straight to MP3? And a straight to MP3. Were you not concerned about the slight degradation in sound quality? I am, and you'll witness that coming up. OK, let's, I'll play it for you. Do it. Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, 10.

Do, do, do, do, ma, ma, ma, ma, 10. Do, do, do, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, 10. Do, do, do, do, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, 10. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m- It's me, Martin from Holmes, under the hammer, come have a look around you home! Who sent you? Been techy? You only get heads up on my wall and miss out on my thing? What was that, whama? Wooo! Wah-wah! Wooo!

Wah-wah! Wah-wah! What did it do? You were bored! A bit different, but I like it. What did it mean? The defenitability strategy game played on a flat surface. Well, word, a bit different but I like it. What's the name? The defenitability strategy game played on a flat surface,

preferably 6 foot by 4 foot. And before you say it, a wallpaper basically table is too thin. Well, you better come in or suppose. So, this is a very grand hallway covered with what I can only describe as oil paintings of monsters, very unusual and different but alike it. Yes, I commissioned the paintings for an artist in Romania. Sorry, why you were? Romania. Romania. Romania. That's Grimgle Ironhide, the bird with the metal takes to the Evergreen, and

that one is Kurt Hellbuk, quite master of the Ragsgard Knights. His armor is virtually impeligible unless some quick EJ Andross towns end his equipment with a magic potion. They're very nice Roy. Now, this must be a living room. No windows, just artificial lights and it's dominated by two tables of rock and only did he did he read that. Oh, he described as Thai sages. Firstly young men, these are not large tables. They are six foot by foot. Basically the same profile has been taken high off the joke. Secondly, these end up toys. They are hyper realistic fantasy realisations of mythical warriors.

So, toy soldiers. No, absolutely not toy soldiers. Absolutely are, Roy. What's the difference between these and a toy soldier I'm at by from a toy shop? Well, he's a far more expensive, he's like 20 times more expensive. So expensive toy soldiers then. That's her unusual choice to build 20 times over the odds for a toy soldier. Did it make the Lego pack a bit different but I like it.

Do you play on your own or with some lovely friends? I'll mostly play with Wolfwood Zahaw, but it's okay and then just hands in. What's tonight? I'm gonna go against that fella for more to shift. Go chew out! Chowd! Chowd! Chowd!

Chowd! Chowd! Yes, go chew, bro! It's meant to be a decent player though, I hear through the grapevine. He relies too heavily on his orcs. He he he, should be a quick victory for your throne So don't you have a kitchen we could have a look at no no name for one us live on war ever ration packs It's on freeze-dried and package with the war ever with me

What happened with me? We're We're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we're we we're we're we're we're we we're we we're we we're we're we're we we're we're we we're we we're we we're we we're we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we What happened with me? What happened with me? Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh- You didn't sit printed, or night looked at the desert to the death world. Very tasty. How unusual, a bit different, but like it. Thank you, Roy, and thank you for showing me around your most unusual... Oooooom. Good luck. Woooow! Bawba! Woooow! Wawama!

Woooow! Bye! You could tell it were MP3, couldn't you? Yeah. I'll wrap it up next time. We'll ruin some of the enjoyment from either the sound quality. Bye! You could tell it were MP3, couldn't you? Yeah. I'll wav it up next time. I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really You've got this studio built where we're like 10 feet apart. No, we're above four foot apart. That's far enough to knock catch a call off any of them.

So fucking sealed unit, the air's got nowhere to go, is it? Hey, hey, no, hey, no, wait, I'm for it's past lips, I'm back. Oh God. Yeah, yeah, it's no listen, do you remember pubs? Pubs, yeah, lovely places. So many for everyone, a drink, better companionship, maybe a fight! I fill them all down now though, cause haven't they? Breaks here at!

Do you remember Snoke, huh? No, Snoke, a lovely game! Something for everyone! Tight suits, bit of maths! Maybe you fight! Short it all down now, cause so... Cause everyone's got a colatally! Breaks your heart, don't they?

No, do you remember Sesame Street, though? Sesame Street, lovely place! Something for everyone! Tight suits, bit of Oh, do you remember Sesame Street? No Sesame Street lovely place someone for everyone tight suits Bit of maths. Maybe the fight shot it all down now though. I'll cast riddle with as best as it was Break share art Vince you seem to like the stuff with the tight tight trousers Wow, that's a very recent that mid 70s of tight suits, wasn't it? I's not particularly drawn to them. He's just been a historian kind of thing. A bit of both, probably.

A little bit of both. What's wrong with a tight suit? Anyway, a little bit of both alike. A bit unusual. What's wrong with a tight suit, Bob? There's nothing wrong with a tight suit. They're like, I think they are backing on. They're all the muscle bound glads.

You all go down the gym. They're quite... They're quite like a suit, once that is too small for them, not there. How am I get into that. The muscle lifestyle. But you'd be using your fat to stretch it rather than the muscles. You can get anything you need with uber eats.

Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on uber eats, but ice tea and ice cream. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.

See out for details. What have you been up to? Oh, God's a big question. Not really. You're just not existing from there. Nothing stands out not really it's kids off-term this way that's I was annoying that's a difficult one isn't it is yeah because you try it they're you know pretend that you want to be around them but at the same time oh Andy don't like that you don't be like that that we've been watching out

on the box the only thing that's really grabbing me at the minute is the wall on a Saturday night on BBC One with Danny Dyer. How have you seen it? Oh, have you not seen it? Good is it? It's great. It's got so much. It's got drama, tension, the accumulation of vast sums of money.

Yeah. Sometimes the losses of vast sums of money. Oh, it's got everything. It's got a contract as well. It's got a contract. Contract. The part is at the ten. One of the participants, it's got a legal shit. One of the participants has to sign a contract. Contract. The partist at the time, one of the partists,

it's got a legal shit. One of the partists, it was that's a sign of contract at one point. I'm not gonna give too much of it. You should watch it. I'm gonna give it a go. Give it a go. I'm probably watching that strictly, you know. I've never got it.

Well, I really, but you know, there's always a character in there. And this year it's the sports monkey. He's, who's he? I don't know. He does like, like, bits on BBC breakfast, but he's like a little chimpe, you know, he a good lad. He's a who's he? I don't know, he does like, like, like bits on BBC breakfast, but he's like a little chimpy, you know, he's a good lad. He's a good lad trying his best.

Right. So I'm keep, I'll probably stop. He probably talks about it. Talks about it. Right. I'll watch it till he's out and then I'll, then I'll watch the wall after that. I'm crime wise, Andrew. Yeah.

I love you, so die. Right. That's a good, a goodie. I love you so, Dai. Right. That's a nice, goodie. What's that on? Oh, I don't know. That sort of sky area, you know. Right. You've got to press and button to get the water.

Yeah, definitely. Okay, come on. Who killed Garrett Phillips? That's a good one. Did you want to tell us who did kill Garrett Phillips? No, I don't. That's a, that's a, that would be a boiler, wouldn't it? Spoiler.

A boiler. There's something wrong with Aunt Mary, I've mentioned before, but it is a fascinating one. And a podcast-wise, I do enjoy Miss Orden scale. One hour like slabs of true crime. It's got a nice voice. A Mike Boudre. Are you watching them? Have you watched any of the rationeatening?

A. Oh, still haven't got around to it now. Sorry. Let's get in on the tree't got round to it. No, sorry. Okay, let's get in the tree. If you watch it. We should do that. That should do some obsession. We should do some Russian 8 and then this podcast.

Okay, let's get in the tree. Does he do it? The sword and stone filler. Does the Russian, as well? No, but they've got similar sword. Right. Hey, the year, 1936. Do you see their faces?

You do one, you do one. The Russian one at the end as well. And the first time you say it, you're going to go hot sauce crazy. Look at me literally. Well, I've been doing I've been I went to Scotland filming. Oh, what you've been filming? Yeah. And I had a unit dent. Oh, did you? I had a unit. Well, I've got you. Do Unusual incident, yeah. I was staying, we were filming right for four days or something. And I had a day when I wasn't required. So I was just in this quiet nice hotel, actually.

Did they break it to you gently? No, they don't have to, they know that it's a joy. So I could sleep in. And I was in one of these like country house hotels where they got a golf course and all that sort of thing. And they were doing drawing work. Right. It takes forever.

They were doing drawing work, just beyond the golf course actually. Which is a nice place to do drawing work. And it andro will be under a golf course, don't you think? Right, a lot of spirit here. Well anyway, they were doing the drawing shots, I thought I'd have around a golf. I don't play a golf, but I thought to pass the time. I've seen you hit the golf ball once before and it was hysterical, but you actually went on the course.

Yeah, on the course, a bit of exercise, isn't it? So there was no one else on the course, and it's lovely, and I went the clubhouse, you know, where you pick your golf clubs up and that, and there was another fella there, but younger than me, actually. Right. So there you go. And he suggested golf clubs up and that. Yeah. And there was another fella there, a bit younger than me actually. Right. So there you go.

And he suggested that we went round together. So I mean, it's our nice to have a bit of company in it. And the... So it was really nice. It was sunny a bit chilly. And we had this little buggy to go between the old, right? Well, we were going quite a lick down the fairway. When the bloat, he suddenly ran suddenly ran the brakes on yeah, and I went flying over the bonnet of the buggy when I came

to me senses Andy I was lying first down on the grass and I could feel this other bloke's boot pressing down on me back and the cold like steel blade of a nine iron just touching against me nose. Yeah. And he says, keep perfectly still, whilst I remove your straws, you dirty little hobbit. So he was South African. And I mean, what I do and he,

he's got a golf club, yeah? And all I had to protect myself was like a finger of fudge I'd picked up in the clubhouse, you know what I mean? Yeah. So he takes me trousers off and he says, Right, point your bottom up towards that lookery and start feeding your belt into your anus. I would say something about Dr. Hook was your idiot.

Or fucking love Dr. Hook. So I start feeding the belt in and there, you know, I put the point at the end in first so I don't initially have to deal with the buckle, you know what what I mean what you read the words that caught you yeah, yeah, yeah Sinks and doctor hook you can I don't don't you fucking dare reach for that fudge bar What did you sing? Sylvie is crying She's catching the final train home.

Ah! You know, as it goes up, just as I'm getting to the chorus, I hear a really loud, I can only say a little worrying sound approaching. Right. I look around and the film crew's drawn is just impacting the block's head.

Wow. Takes him out of the game. Yeah. I jump on the buggy, I get out with a hot footy Andrew. Back in the hotel, I phone up Andy, the drone operator. I say, oh, thanks Andy.

Hey Andy, do you think he might have made me feed the whole belt in? And Andy says, yes, Mike, end your trousers, gangbangers, you've got a fucking level! So that was unusual incident, right? Well it's just, right and a... Kind of knocks mine into a cock hat, I'm gonna keep mine a secret. What, nothing got fed into your... No, no, I might keep it for another time.

Never mind. Pete has been in touch, he interested. As he, he interested. Cosmine rested, what was it rested? I don't think he's been in touch for a little while. Oh, I eat them, Bob. Bob, have you ever looked at a dirty dish cloth in the sink, I eat them? I'n ddech ydw i diws ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech ydw i'n ddech undercar at a boot sale. Oh you know I wanna see a meeting in your bandend on a gate post. There but for the grace of God, God's Peter. Don't do it. So I ain't here but I'm fishing on a pike now, you know, following the trouble with the phone and I say, sure, obviously I am spending more time having a good old style out of

me bedroom window. I made a little dot of what I saw yesterday. I can take each chicken box with each lid flat in, up and down in the wind. I put a timer on the flat in there and worked out it with other jane, one flat every 37 seconds. Pretty rat-ed-irekin. me a song was set, he said in last week, he shone the wife of putt, he didn't ask to speak the main light, you know. Also I saw a dog doing it's business on the verge, and I saw it's backside quivering, as it prepared and I let it in, it wasivering at about three quivers a second, so that is definitely rapid. I also noticed that the Broly, the Albanian fella next door, like you know, I don't know he's got in terrible, with making a tinkly tinkly sound, as the card bagged against a new shaft, yeah the shaft of the brolly.

At the time the tingle tingle at the average of one tingle tingle every 29 seconds 29 now. Oh, wouldn't know what she's up to. Anywhere Bob, after the staring session you know I went into the lounge to save the earth anything that I've needed and if you would potentially let me have a go on here for night. And a little other, would it be okay if I had a quick lumbar on your shoulder? No it's fucking fucking crazy little dial. I'm watching police in the centre's live bodycam on YouTube. Go and fucking fiddle with your little lad in the castle. Well maybe later then we'll be in our... In your fucking dreams, I'll fuck off!

Well, the wife covers her front's up with her dog cushion and just at that moment, they're not on the door. It's a bit of a ruckus a bit like you know that Nick Rottler's got much like. And he says, Oh, they met, I'm Tom Bennett from the Thumbria Police, Nerva Road Safety Unit. Here's me, Card. Bloody hell mate, that was quick.

I only had to go on a front east. I didn't mean no, right? I'm here to offer advice on who I'm security. There's been a number of break ins in this area recently. No, it's alright. No one would break in here. That man they joke and our life's reputation like. Hold a fuck is it? It's a punishment love. I've told him we don't need any security advice. Get him fucking in here now we are Josie clown! So I take the cotton in the front room.

I notice he has removed the dog blanket and opened the zip on the left leg. Oh! Hello, Arthur! Do come in. Well, you let have a seat next to me. On the floor and so forth. Peter, get the officer some meat for the Valkenfreech. Yeah, would you like some meat tonne Bennett? No!

I can't see for fuckers. Now go and fetch it, you spooky f***ing guy. So I got out and put the Kord Meat section on the plate. Inau'r sbwg i ffaddau! So, a goa, i'n pwyth y cymaint sylwchio'n anion y pleid, hwnnw i rostam, cymaint, chich yn ffridruid, a'n aeswch, yw'n lwy, a slys y ddoch yn oes. A'n hefyd, am to chatt yn naig. Sfwf, a eu eithau'n y boddi cael. A eu sy'n yng Nghyddai'n llwyddi sy'n chatt yn ffrunddi'n ynghylens. I'm sharing a bodycam and if so, are you getting a degradation shot of me fronties in your ends?

I know, we only wear bodycams when we're on operational duties. Oh, that's a shame. I would love to see myself on the 4th and YouTube. There's a strange smell in here. Could I ask what it is? It's quite accurate. A bit what it might be noxious. It's a mixture of dog dead, leg juice and eggy memories. I love me for an ex-opsy. Well, at that moment, I looked at the card

that Tom Bennett had handed me, and I could immediately see it was like a milky fib. It just said, Tom Bennett, the officer at Tom Bennett police officer dot com So I got me thrown up a film in like the hall mirror like you know Obviously, I think I've got you spielkin my eye. Could you have a fog and look? You need to clamber over me a bit because I can't sit up without slipping out a Tommy squeak I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc.

I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc.

I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc.

I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I am a ffog yn loc. I amwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r fwy'r f You're mad or shatter and your eyes will spill out of your fork and shit pipe! Well, she's already really making a mess of his face like... And I suspect she might start eating him. So I tell her that in gore like any runs out of the door like this pantser and say, well you are right love. Yes of course I fucking am. In fact I rather enjoyed that now. I woke up. Well I went back to my room and sent a copy of me little film and he met the

grounds stadium. Later that night I had a wife shout up. Be there, get down here now while you are fucking funny. I got down the lounge and there she is watching my little film like of her beaten up Tom Bennett on the ocean. Sit down. I'm in trouble love. Just fucking sit down. So I sit down on the sofa, you know. You're a good lad, I finally made it on the sofa, you know. You're a good lad, babe.

I finally made it under the YouTube. You like what a film then love. Yes, I fucking do. You even captured the woman when I bent as I in woods and got in the way so. I'm very pleased. Now would you like a quick scrub? Blond me from East. Yes please, look. So, I mean the white scot box in the moment you see a nice thing.

Anyway, I got a couple of jokes to make joke, but just the old joke. So, a policeman pulls out a block of the space in like he says, I know it's that your Mae'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r pwyllwch i'r p And my mother has been staring at the wheels of police cars, like officers, I work entirelylessly to take care of him, so I'm not a great one, that's it. Police arrested two blockies in here, one that was drinking badly acid and the other was eating fireworks. They're charged one and let the other one off. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa So Peter's in a good box, that's nice, isn't it? That was a really hot one, until that was. You reckon? Yeah, did you spot? Because it felt like they were kind of united as a couple.

Yeah, which I don't often feel. Did you believe Tom Bennett was in the office at first? Of course I did. I did. I would say, Tom Bennett sounds like a place off the thing. But that's what they do. Exactly. You think they are a cop or a thing?

That's what they do. And do you reckon the sun still all the shines on our hearts TV? I mean, you know, it was 1986, they've probably moved on since then. Why? First thing you do is a fad, do you know what I mean? Yeah, well, not. Maybe they were living somewhere in Florida where there's lots of sun shines, so it was on the TV a lot. Yeah. Do you think that I kept repositioning the TV? And the deer went on. Yes. I mean, I had mine sort of half outside, during the last year, and the screen got really hot touch. Hot screen.

Hot screen. John Omsk. Hot screen. Out now, 12 years. I think that's all I've got time for, Bob. OK, then. So that's it from this one. Can I just say this has been the 100th episode of this

that we've done? Really? Yeah. Well, you were in a baseball cap with a cake on it and 100 and candlesticking at the top. So I think in you. I didn't know I drew, yeah. I just didn't know how to bring it up. Oh, I've got to say, the big night out, big n' bubs big night, outcomes are not the end of this month. All right, good. So channels that people are looking after that. Ah, no, it's on Irish racing channel.

He he he. See you, Andrew. Thanks for listening folks. Ta-da. Thank you.