Athletico Mince - Ep.11 - Tom Jones’s Gold Extravagance

Episode Date: May 17, 2016

Kitchen tap tips, Steve McClaren’s snake, autopsy etiquette, a recipe, and a song about ‘Yellow Sticker Hour’ up the Asda. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/athleticomince. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Don't knock me down. That was, so you've added a cough to your side. I've got a bit of a cough. Oh, you didn't deliberately. No, I wasn't. Wasn't theatrical. I've got a bit of a cold. I mean, to be honest, just analyse in that, as you ex-healed it, it sounded like you exasperated,

which makes me think you're exasperated with me, which puts me on my back foot, which is that your intention. It's probably one of the side effects of the call that I've got. I've got a big chest. I've got quite a bad call. Okay, well, so just go easy on us, eh? All right, but I know that you know I immediately feel it a disadvantage. One, because of your exasperated sigh.

No, no, it was a wheeze. All right, your wheeze then. And two, because I meant to suck at you, because you're a guy called. Don't suck at me. So, it's athletic all minutes. It's episode 11. It's episode 11. Who'd have thought we'd have got this far? No one asked for this. Very few people are still asking for it. So, I'll briefly interrupt and say what I've got to discuss. I've got to discuss Greg Wallace, Steve McLaren of course, what he's been up to. I've got the wives' questions. I've got me joke, I know you always look forward to that. And I've got a lovely story about when I met a footballer, what about you Andy?

I've got your memory mind question. Nice. I'm going to ask you about your highlight met a footballer, what about you Andy? I've got your memory mind question. Nice. I'm going to ask you about your highlight of the football season. OK. Bring a little bit of football into it. Fair enough. I've got a recipe as well. Right.

Because the BBC, the idea of deleting all the recipes from the website or something. Are you heartbroken over it? Not really asked. Yeah. I've never used the recipes on the BBC. All right. So Andy, it's really important. I've got a very bad art. Okay. Yeah. I've got a really bad art. I need this, I need a chicken, I don't know, it's calamari cooking. Right. You just know what you're going to do it. Just do it with

a benacol because that's what you don't know, isn't it? Well, I know what you do. You just put you just buy a dolmy or wouldn't you? Yeah. I know what you do. You just put you just buy a dolmeo, wouldn't you? Now, you just have a jar of dolmeo and just neck it down. Yeah, so you just say, if I, you set me, so what color is it that particular me? I say, oh, it's a stew, it's that reddish, brownish. So you choose your red dolmeo thing. Yeah.

If I said it was like a chicken, what's the chicken karma you'd use the white one? Yeah. Whatever the meal is. Red or white? Yeah. It's a red meal or white, is that a red meal, bubble or white meal?

Yeah. Okay. Just some meat and either red or white sauce. I suspect the BBC recipes were aimed at an oik like you, and they put that up. Well, the BBC is a broad church, Bob. It's for everyone. It's just so happens. The

rest of these aren't for me. Yeah. But I've got one on me own later on. So we'll see. It's an interesting thought that they've done it just to just to mess with the heads of the people who are attacking the BBC at the moment in it, middle England and that. I think that's what they've done. They've done it to deliberately turn everyone against the government. It's an act of revolution if anything. Wow. And we were there to see it. Okay. So you want to talk recipes?

What else? I'd say about it really. Oh, so that's what you've brought to the table. Recipes. Oh, yeah, I've got some questions as well. And the yes and all thing. Okay. We've talked too much about what we're going to do.

I think we should just get on and bloody do it. All right. Greg Wallace. Yeah. That's the first item I'd like to talk about last last week's podcast. You're very rude about Greg Wallace. I described him as an asshole. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're a bit worse than that actually. And I'm sorry I've got to put you to task in it. What you know, like he does his full programs. The contestants probably turn up giggling. Oh look, there's Greg

lovely, cuddly Greg. What is what is he doing? Why would you cuddle Greg? Lovely cuddly Greg You know he gives out the ambience of somebody like to cut a lot of cuddly as he used to be lost a lot of weight Yeah, we just a lot of work. That's why you don't like seems to be quite image conscious. I think And you anyone whose image can't conscious is what did you call him? And also, yeah, that's how you feel. That's how I feel. You love David Bowie, I've never known anyone more.

That's a boy. I've never known anyone more image conscious. Yeah, we just got a mumble. That's because he called. Anyway, I just didn't want to be associated with this aggression towards. Can we move on to your memory man? Let's try and establish your credentials as to why you're here, Bob. Yes, I'm a memory man.

I know all football stats from the beginning of time to the future generations. From the beginning of association football 1872. Until right now. Right now. Until right now. Until right now. Yeah. It keeps on coming. Memory man, do you remember the suits

that the QPR team wore on the Wembley pitch before the 1982 F-Eocup final against Tottenham Hot Spurs? Yes. Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo about those suits. Yes. There it is. There you are and they. The memory man rides high in the sky. You thought you got me that for a call statistics. Thought you got me. You didn't unbeatable. Thank you very much. That's memory man. Now, um, McLaren, Steve McLaren, Steve McLaren,

see up to right now. Well, earlier today, it came to me. He was in his kitchen, right? In one of his shorts, sleeved shirts with a tie. Yeah. Yeah. And he was showing off his big yellow snake.

Do you know what they get? I think they call corn cobs, corn snake, however. What's corn snake? Corn snake, too, is big glass that we act round with, yeah? Yeah. But I think one of the reasons it came to me, because it caused electricity in the universe, is that the snake does a little Todd on his tie, little snake Todd, and it's, it was his balls club tie, right?

So just after that, so I'm going back like about 50 minutes ago because I've had to walk to the studio. He was, he was crouched over his sink with like one of those little foam pads that's got a rough edge trying to get the snake tardoth, occasionally glancing through the lounge where the big lass was eating beans on top. So that's a few minutes ago. And that she's not going to want anything to do with them if she's got a snake tardone. She eats his, he's always displaying them, you know, snake. That's my suggestion. What does a snake tard look like? Is it long? Like the animal that it's been emitted from no surprisingly I don't want to go. No, you always drag it towards face. He's not. No. Thank you. Let's leave it out of let's let's go. Yeah. No, I do know because I saw that

Episode of come down with me where she put the snake in the table. it toded up the table. So thank you. I do know what a snake tod looks like. Thank you for that. Well, where do you reckon the clariners or what? Well, mine's not as good really. So probably let me do mine first, I think, from now on. Okay, well, let's say you're it. Well, he's been assembling his own England squad mid from Lollipop sticks and ping pong balls for heads and he's taking them away that was secluded pre-tornment retreat which is his brother's caravano and grit yarmouth and he's given them pep talks and he's outlining his

tactical plans for them on a white board that he borrowed from Newcastle and he forgot to give back and he's rubbing vegetable oil in the legs at night. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it a little bit sad. I think it's enough. It's an apparently done yours first to meet a better, to meet me like a twat. No, no, no, no, no, no. But is that berthos or perthos? What you've done? I don't know what it is. You don't care, do you? No. Wipes questions, it's time for the Wipes questions. Well, pull yourself together. Well, I'm in the wrong mood for them.

Now, this week, and I've been instructed by the Wipes that I have to read them out exactly as they're written. Right. So, EO goes. From the Wipes questions, question one. Congratulations on the success of the podcast. Now, you have reached the heights of a minus celebrity like Bob, will you be upgrading your fungalo to a dorma style fungalo? No comment.

Because you don't want to talk about whether it's a dorma. Next question please. Question two, congratulations on the success of your podcast. Now you have a kind of media profile. Will you be seeking representation, Shobha's agent? No, I'd like to keep my feet on the ground, and I'd like to remain in the level of extreme debt that I'm in at the moment. Therefore, all business decisions will be carried out by myself, probably quite badly. When you say extreme debt, I mean, are you in a bad way? Yeah, really bad. Let me try and get to grips with this, before I've got one more question from the wife.

Is your debt situation so bad that you could not afford a pack of four for us in corncops? I could, I could certainly get me hands on one. Yeah, you stay lit, you may not. I'm not saying I could afford one, but I could certainly get me hands on one. Let's just say I don't answer the door anymore. Okay, question three, congratulations on the success of the podcast.

As you have that kind of northern style accent that's proving very popular these days on television Brackets, EG George Clark, that blog of Big Brother that does the voiceovers in Dr. Chris Stale Have you and it says A Consider doing voiceover work for television documentaries on fat pets or Adverts for cooking fat and that or B Have you considered learning to read and write? Quite a lot for you to.

Going on the B first there, I can read and write. Okay. And if I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to do any voiceovers. What actually would be able to read the fucking script? Oh, get you. Get a little bit angry about that. Tell your wife that. What about the voiceovers?

You fancy, I think you'd be really good. I'll tell you anything, mate. There's money in it. So you've got the new job, right? Andy, we've got new, it's Findus. It's the new half-size corn cobs. Frozen handy for the summer barbecue, right? Give us a voiceover.

It's like something just simple, like, it's barbecue, but it doesn't have to be meat. What about these finnest quarter size corncobbs? It's barbecue, but it doesn't have to be meat. What about these finnest frozen corncobbs things? Yeah. Well, if you could, yeah, if you're probably to me, you can read and write, you'd get it right, wouldn't you?

Aye, well, go let's consider. Well, you've just thrown that on as a bit. I'd like to like, to get a bit of practice at it. Okay. Can we come back and do that at the end? Yeah. Do you, um, um, do you, um, me make gav, yeah, me make gav, we make gav, I had this week

died of heartburn. Did he? Yeah. Sorry hey that bob. Yeah, I can't entirely believe gav is gone. Did he? Yeah. Sorry, hey, that bob. Yeah, I can't I can hardly believe Gavaskon. Gavaskon. Yeah, that isn't me Jorg that one. No, I think that is that he got me. No, that isn't me Jorg. Well, what was it? Me Jorg. Because it wasn't a fact, was it? Well, I went to the other shop, the I went the shop

the other day to buy six cans of sprite. Was it only when I got home? Did I realize I'd pick seven up? I'd pick seven up. Well, that was me, George, forget it. Let's move on. You wouldn't even hear that in a primary school playground that one. Have we got any listeners' questions? Yeah, I've got some here. Got you, right? Mizrabo, is there? I mean, first one from Joel Babyhirk,

who's a Middlesbrough fan, actually, like yourself. U-T-B, U-T-B, up the morrow. Oh, whatever. He says, I asked about whether an identity parade really is the best way to pick out a criminal the other day. Can you help? Yes, I can help It's the child's can both of us, but you want to go first. So you said all right. Do you want to go first? I've got nothing. Well, what? Recently

I was burgled and Is this one of your jokes? No, my wife saw the perpetrator, her came across him in the hallway and he ran out of the back and my wife saw him got a good look at him. Fast forward, she was taken to an I, a video parade where you see 12 photographs, videos, they are actually videos. The way modern?

Yeah, the way it has to be done these days. And the 12 videos were of 12 people with identical haircuts, identical skin color, nose, and so on and so forth, because the defendants allowed to pick them, right? All right. So the wife who felt she'd be able to recognize them easily, lost her confidence, couldn't

pick him out. 12's a lot though, isn't it? If it had been as identity-per-ed, such as our listener is talking about, she'd have had a great chance of picking him out. So yes, it is the best, I think it's the best way. The other thing is, people do not realise how different people look on video than in real life. That's true. Because I mean we did the podcast over Skype last

way didn't we? Yeah. Like you look really good. You look like 39-year-old man. Yeah. I'm sitting in front of you now and you look like shit. So well I enjoyed that question. I hope I've helped. Oh yeah. We've got another one from Lisa Broughton, or Broughton, I'm not sure. Yeah. She says, Any views on taps need a new kitchen sink tap.

Hot and cold come out of Simbit, got through three washes. Tar. Okay, Andy, out of polite and such, you'd say, do you want to contribute and answer to that question? I've got nothing on this. You've got nothing on that. Where you're informed of that, aren't you? a'r ddyn nhw'n ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch yn ymwch mix the taps that to dominate. And what you're going to need to do is to re-plum, because the problem is is the tension that's placed on the washer between having to use a to accept hot water,

then accept cold water, then accept hot water, expands contracts, little creases, little faults, developing the washer. It's no good to hear. It's been through three washers, though, so, you know, what's the problem? Is your replacing the wrong washer? No, she's got the wrong taps. I think she needs to re-plum and go back to her. Are you saying that we need to... It's time to poo poo the mixer tap. For me, to avoid problems in the future,

problems in your old age, when I drip in tapkin literally, drive you over the edge in the Alzheimer's, right? a'r problemu'r y fywl, yng Nghymru'r ymwyr yw'r ydym yn yw'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydwyr i'r ydym yn ydym yn the tap and then call him up and say it was damaged. Just some of the hammer. I wouldn't do it with something blunter than that. Just say something. Blunter than a hammer. Yeah. The side of the fridge. That's fairly blunt. Push the fridge over onto the tap.

On to the tap. And see there was maybe an earthquake or something. Yeah. I know you don't have to say earthquake. I mean, I guess man's not going to say, he's going to say, I'll check on the earthquake app. There'll be an app for it, won't there? And it'll show that there's no earthquake in the area.

This is why I don't contribute to these items because you've got better knowledge than me. Okay, well, we'll move on from those because... Have you tried them boil them water taps? Then ones that propelled jets of scolding hot water in your children's faces. Have you got one of them? I can sense them, but negative attitude towards them. I'm just thinking as a millionaire, you've probably got one because they're quite expensive. I have got one, yeah. Yeah, I thought you might. And it is quite expensive. Yeah. And I've got it mounted on an island.

300 quid? I've got it, but maybe more. Let's say 900 quid, go on. You don't even, and the fact that you don't even know speaks volumes about it. So I've got it mounted on an island with a Korean surface, right? An instant hot water. You paused there slightly as if I was supposed to be impressed. Oh, you know your Korean surface. No, I wouldn't expect you to be impressed because I don't expect you to know what Korean is. I don't. Exactly. Proud of it. It's what they used to use to make mortuary slabs. You don't have to go all the tops these. That's interesting. If you were watching it,

that actually ties in with one of my questions. I've got a few later on. OK, if you were watching it in the all the tops, you've been invited. Do you, sir, have enjoyed your work on athletic comments? Would you like to come and witness an all the tops? Would you stand at the foot end of the cadaver or at the top end of the cadaver or the top end or side view? Is it like being a birth?

I have no idea, I have no being to it. Because at the birth you don't really want to be done in the business end here. Well I don't want to be at the bus, you want to be down, see the chat. Or down for a pig, I don't know. And if it was a birth, I'd have said, would you like to be present in the book? It's an autopsy. Someone's died, they're not giving birth. It's birth, it's death when it's a bird. And if it was a birth, that I said, would you like to be present in the birth? It's an autopsy. Someone's died, they're not giving birth.

It's birth, it's death, it's all connected, isn't it? Yes, it's death. It's not. It's in the same office and the registrar's office. Oh, wish, would you stand at the foot end, the head, or one of the wings? Could I stand above the whole thing, like a step ladder? I'll drop the question.

What's wrong with wanting a different vantage point? What's wrong with wanting to be above? Actually, I do quite I see what you mean That's quite a nice view point in it get a step ladder stand on the top and just kind of Hover over everything that's happening. Yeah, no that would be it would you would feel slightly less personal less like you were in You know interfering with the death person one that you'd be feeling more like an observer. And I'd have a mask on as well, in case I accidentally sneezed on it. Yeah. Or gobbled on the body.

Because if something funny happened, I might laugh and a bit of God might come out. MUSIC Have you ever, like, it's a similar sort of thing. Have you ever kind of wanted to look behind the scenes at things? You know, like, go behind the scenes at a football club or behind the scenes that Pete's expressed, you know what I mean? Does that interest you? Get behind the scenes at a sever or... I'd love to. I'd love to get behind the scenes at a severe or... I'd love to. I'd love to get behind the scenes of any scenario. Okay. I mean,

I just, first values, just, you know, any schmuck can see what's going on. You have one of the people. I want to know what, I want to see the cogs. I want to see the cogs were. I want to see how it works. Would you, I would, I would just think I'd like to get behind the scenes.

You know, like a ticket thing, like a ticket master. Right. Like to get behind the scenes would be a big place, wouldn't it? And there'd be computer screens. Yeah. There'll be targets that they've got a reach. Yeah. Discounts that can offer that we don't know about.

Selling more to the tickets to Touts before they go and see it on real people. Yeah, work it out. Working out sort of like what percentage this had hauled back is this? So they can screw the common man? No, I wasn't really, I'm just incisive. You remember what you were in at the time?

No, I'm not, I remember that. I was thinking like they've got, there's a new act on the block. Yeah. Right. Dixie. One of the russals of the comedy. All right, there's a new russle.

There's a new russle, yeah. We'll call him Russell. Yeah. We'll call him Russell Windor. Right. And he's new and say, how's it going to sell? How's it going to sell? I'm going to put that team on it. And I'd like, behind the scenes, I'd say, excuse me, why that team?

And he'd explain why it was that team. And like, it's selling. It's selling. Pull him. You'd say, pull him. Yeah. Pull him. Right.

And then, have a meeting in a room and they're like this is all that this Spade we're gonna put these on it 180 quid yeah I just tell you what about you Andy? I have a board. Yeah, would you is there a behind the scene? You're bored to shit out of me there. All right. Well, let's Over to you then almost felt as if it was something that a quite a personal experience that you wouldn't a bit or about No, no, I just like behind the scenes. Are there still tickets on sale for your fourth coming tour with Vic Rice? They probably are and they'll probably be still be on sale long

after the show has gone. Well, there you go, that speaks volumes. Can I just do the yes and no thing with you? Yeah, go on. Here we go. Bob, yes or no? A large piece of boiled gristle with a low electrical charge put through it. Yes. Yes or no? The contents of an industrial bin from around the back of a Turkish hospital blended and poured inside loads of balloons for kids to kick around at birthday party. Yes? Yes or no? Chris Evans. poured inside lords of balloons for kids to kick around at birthday party. Yes.

Yes or no? Chris Evans. Absolutely not. No. I know she was just said no. I'll go back either. No. Three out of three. Three out of three.

Finally. You've cracked it. Is that the end of that game now that I've done nothing? I think we'll keep going with it. Yeah, I was wondering if keep going with it. Right. I was wondering if we should all the competition, Andy. You know, like, a competition where people send us a photo and you send them a prize for the best one, right? 50 quid.

Yeah. You're up for that? 50 quid. Yeah, you send it for the best one. Yes, 50 quid, come from. Yeah, we'll pick the best one and you send 50 quid. And this week, I'm going to suggest it's you send us a photo of corned beef but in an unusual situation. Say for example on the beach

or on an open page of a poetry book that's kind of thing and Andy you send the 50 quid yeah. Yeah you will. Yeah you will. I'm going gonna move on Andy to the new game what we introduced last week Which you at least fend that you enjoyed right? Which is proper footballer are not okay? We go so hit me with someone you consider to be a proper footballer Well, hang on. I'm not starting to your game You were starting it's my game. Because it's my game and the rule is is you start. Don't hang about under these pauses. Alan Devinshire. It's good. He's proper footballer, but I'm going to hit you with this.

You can be the judge. I'm going to hit you with this. Dean Whitehead. Nah. I know things about Dean Whitehead. Go on then. Alan Devon should be to Dean Whitehead. Does he? Well done, you. See, yeah, it's another bad game. It's a no. So we'll do that again next week.

Is that it? Yeah, it's just gonna do one. Yeah, your time's come. Okay, fine for him. How'd you hold your corncubs by the way? And I'm so sorry, you've got a full corncub. Do you have special little things that all do? I just jam a fork in each end? You jam a fork in each end You ever let you down never never let you down if you insert them properly

Yeah exactly you've got to get the position and right, haven't you? Yeah Because otherwise it could they could they skew up and Sometimes you put it in and it ain't quite got the purchase. No, I always make sure I've got the purchase I'll come out and I'll go in again deeper. Yeah. Just to make sure it's all away in. So your first one that you did was a failure. Yeah.

Your second one wasn't. So you've just previously said you've never failed. I'll just switch the angle a little bit. Doesn't matter that the folks are a different angle. Yeah. As long as they're both in it both ends and you smear with a lot of butter and you know, don't me or sauce and that yeah yeah lovely not benacol like you what's benacol made out of plant organs plant stones

plant sperms no no it's why do you want to think you will it I'll tell you what tell people to see for this helps you out on me I've just like to give the up to you would you like to say bastard now? I'll give you that opportunity. Bastard! There you go. Thanks Bob. I've got some questions for you Bob. Alright Far away. These have been given to me by blood relatives of myself. Important that they are nice. Bob, there's a multi-millionaire with your mansion and your team of servants and your personal eyebrow technician who's

obviously off this week. Do you allow your servants to return to their homeland for Christmas, stroke Easter, stroke Yom Kippur, stroke Ramadan, or do you force them to just sit in the corner and fierce the wall? I don't I'm not millionaire, I don't have any staff. Yeah, I've admitted last week that you do you've got a gardener. Okay, the only stuff I have as a gardener who lives in the same town as me. You also said something about your servants as well last week, in plural sense? No, I didn't, if I did it with the top.

I'll ask you a question too, thanks. Okay, question too. Bob, as a multi-millionaire with your mansion and your team of servants, your personal library technician and your holiday home in the Jutland Islands, do you allow your servants to... No, fuck the Jutland Islands. Do you allow your servants to pretend you don't know? Do you allow your servants to fraternise with each other outside of working hours or do you have them all muted and make them live in same sexhoods built on a dirt patch on the

other side of your orchard where the birds don't sing. I don't have any servants. I do have an orchard, but it's not. It tends to be orchard, Bob. My gardener. You have stuff. You're certain. My gardener. And all the other servants?

No. Is that it? No, there's another one. All right, here we go then. Bob, as a multimillionaire with your mansion, your team of servants, your personal eyebrow technician, your holiday home in the Jutland Islands and Mahatma Gandhi's Conquer collection which you acquired from the estate of Winston Churchill. Do you make your servant sign a gagging clause which prevents them from speaking publicly

about your private zoo, which is filled with hybrid animals. You've secretly bred for both meat and sport. Animals such as the ostrich lion, the double-chested cat-catapillar, and the bon-eyed whip at the canony-wot-round in circles. I'm not millionaire, and I don't have a zoo. However, yes, I am very interested in hybrid animals. That's a project that maybe in the future

will come to fruition at this moment of time. No. And who stuffs the hybrids? In the future, I've been on Google Earth. I've seen it mid. Yeah. And what did you say? Who stuffs it?

I saw a lot of little brown skin people walking around. And you think there were stuff at hy breads? I think there was stuff. Yeah. I've enjoyed your questions Andy and I've enjoyed the idea of hybrid animals and I will investigate that and in fact I might, next week's competition that you'll give 75 quid as a prize for could be the best drawing or photograph of a hybrid animal. Thank you for your questions. I hope that my answer's in somewhere helped. Have we got, as anyone asked me a question

about footballers? They haven't actually butchle, I ask it. For the purposes of just, you know, getting this thing moving again. Thank you, Andy, off you go. Have you ever met a footballer, Bob? Well, a good question, Andy, especially for someone who's got I'd called. No, a good question. Do you know that's going to make people at home feel sick

all that gobbin and snotting about? I can't help I feel. Yeah you could. You could cover the mic up when you're about to snop. Right well Gary Linnaker, yeah? Yeah. I once met Gary Linnaker. I went out for a night drinking with Gary Linnaker and Tom Jones, so Tom Jones. He doesn't play for? He doesn't play for, but I'm putting the context of me. Gary Linnaker played for Leicester City, Yalafax Town, I believe, right? Yep.

So we're having a drink and it struck me though. Oh, the Welsh Tom John. Yeah. Six, bum. Yeah. The sex bum. It was a lovely man and so is Gary actually. I had a lovely night. But I got to think into myself.

These two have got serious cash. Right. And they're both. But like yourself, just thought I'm a long friend, so yeah. And I thought to all millionaires. No. And I thought to myself, I'm among friends here. And I thought to myself, you know, these, they're nice people. They're not, you do know you get some boastful celebrities, showy ones and like, I mean a lot of footballers. I don't know. I've got the Bentley. I've

got this, got this, got this. I've got tattoos made out of... Tony Cotty. Oh, Tony Cotty, if you want. Yeah. And so I said to Tom Jones, I said... Prince Charming! Prince Charming! That's not Tom Jones. Is it not? That's Adam and Harry Ant. So I said to Tom, you were friends,

you know, come on. For once, just tell us about so many. You spent a lot of money on. You love it. You know, you don't want to apologize for it. I ain't going to tell anyone or whatever. Is it no or no or no, no, no, no way? Is it from India? Oh yeah. So I'll tell you honestly, I'd really like to know, I'd love it. I'd love, you know, if ever one day I'd load some money. I'd like to spend it on some big indulgence So like that says no, no, no, I don't like stuff like that get out or whatever I said please Tom

Please please a beg of you. Please tell me and he says All right, I got a fucking gold plane He says I said what did you make gold Gold? He says, fucking Gold taps, Gold walls, Gold seats. And Gold thread in the carpets, a fucking Gold plane. And I thought to myself, well, good on you. Does he fly it then? I'm just keeping it in the garage? I don't know, I mean, it'll be his personal. Oh, that's a point. That's a point. Be heavy, won it?

Yeah. Gold in a tick off. Gold fitting straw. He said, so I thought that was a nice little story about Tom Jones, the first one. But I mean, I just want to emphasize, because I've told the story, we're emphasized that what a lovely fallory was, and how reluctant he was to tell the story and how obviously it must have been something he didn't want to get out. He didn't boss about it. Yeah, and he didn't want it to get out at all.

Yeah, the begum. That was nice of him and Gary was lovely as well. How do you feel about the internet rumors that Roy Hodgson might be the second commander, Jesus Christ? Do they exist these rumors? Yeah, quite. There's a lot of a going on. There's a Facebook group. Is Roy Hodgson Jesus?

Do you know what? I haven't investigated that. I have not heard of it. I have not heard of it. Nothing that was suggested to me, the hairstyle. Well, there's pictures. There's a lot of evidence. There's the mild speech impediment.

Right. There's Jesus, I'd one of them. Goodie. There's the suits that he wears. Right. Very similar to the one seen on the Beortapestry. Is the Beortapestry, Jesus? Jesus is on the Beortapestry, I believe, yes. But he's one of the fighters, is he? Yeah. Well, I wondered if you'd heard about it, if you had anything to say. I've not heard about it. I've not heard about that, but I can say no evidence, no

basis for saying it. You might feel really stupid in the months time after the euros are finished. Well, when someone looks at his name, I don't know. I don't know. It says Jesus Christ. I'm just saying now, because it's going to be in France

where the beer tapestry was made. Yeah. Do you know what the beer tapestry is? It's the home of Christ, isn't it? Do you know what the beer tapestry depicts? It's the last supper. Is it? Yeah. Are you sure about that? Yeah.

Well, am I thinking of the cheering show? I have no idea. But the economy is a cheering show because we're pleading cheering in 1980 in the U-roads and we got knocked out and there was tear gas and that's not the cheering show. It's definitely the beer tapestry. Okay. Well, I'm going gonna put an end to that one I'm gonna go I want to get I want to quickly get off on a tangent the You know, do you have a sofa bed? No, I know it's like a supplementary coach. You have a sofa bed So that like on your way home if you come across anyone up there that needs a bed for night like it's either

Trump or something like you can give them a bed for the night No comment. No comment. Why won't you comment on it? Why would what would that reveal about your phone? Because it feels as though it could be a trap. That was it. It could reveal whether or not the fungalore is a dormer. Why or not? Why wouldn't you understand it? Why'd you get anywhere? Can I do me a recipe now? Yeah, do you rest? Anywhere, can I do a recipe now? Yeah, do a recipe. Because I've got a recipe because as we know the baby say, I've knocked the recipes on the head,

the government's made them do it. So I thought if we introduced a recipe, it might increase the listener numbers. Okay. All of that entails increasing the prizes that we can give out. Yeah, that you give out the 50 quid. You know when I was coming in and an extra studio, the inventor of the winder souls in there.

Is it? Absolute ledge. Carry on with the recipe, yeah. Jesus Christ. Right, this is called from Arge de Crucio. Okay. First of all, you take a box of laughing cow chase triangles. Nice.

You know, the circular box that you get. Yep. It's got to be full fat, not the light ones, very important that. And you defy all each individual triangle and then... What did you say defy all the time? You take the foil off. Yeah, you take the foil off. This is the sort of thing Greg Wallace would say. No, I...

Defy all. We've got to make sure you retain the shapes. You've got to be really careful. You might need to use tweezers. Okay. And then you arrange them into a circle as the came in, like a wheel. That's your cheese island. Right. Then you take a handful of dry roasted peanuts, K.P. planters, you know, one of the top end, top end brands, split them in half, very important. Carefully then you push your halved nuts into the soft welcoming cheese, making sure they're spaced out so that the cheese doesn't become mischraping,

and they are your Robinson Cruisers on the cheese island. Right. And then you can either, this is optional, you can garnish the whole thing with the herb of your choosing, or you can brew the li thing with the herb of your chosen or you can brew the fuck out of it with a blowtorch or cigarette lighter or layers of pen depending on what level of brew layer you want. Yeah, that's a foot. And there you've got from Ars de Cruçau.

Enjoy Bon Appetit. So you've sprinkled dry rosin. You didn't sprinkle them, you jam them in. You jammed dry rosin, not send out. You jam them in you jammed dry Ross dry Ross in no loving some croossals. I mean Robinson croossal let's be out there couldn't you ever thought of a better a metaphor analogy or whatever it is because there was only one Robinson croossal, won't there? Well, can you imagine just sticking one nut in a like six basically? Exactly. So you should look, yes, it would be shit, but that's why you shouldn't

have called it croossal. Well, it's from as the croossal, but there's why you shouldn't have called it crucial. Well, it's cr- it's from ours to crucible But there's an S on the end of crucible because in French, they don't pronounce the S on the end of the I do mean Robinson Crucible, yeah, well, there's only one of them in there. Yeah, but crucible within S you could have called it Someone like 12 angry you 12 angry men or something that's in a courtroom. That's not an island Cauter is not a circular We could have called it lost. you know, like the TV series. The Lost Flamars Delost. Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, I don't know, sounds so good.

Well, it sounds very nice. Thank you. What do you, where you come from? What do they call it, like, game where you knock on, you knock on people's doors and then you run away really quick. It's a window cleaner, isn't it? No, you've got a name, you know, I ... Oh, knocking nine doors. Knocky nine doors. Knocky nine doors, yeah. I call it Yordle. Why? So, I have to admit that that was my fourth attempt at a jog today, and all four.

Incredible. But there you go, if you don't put the work in, you know what I mean? Maybe next week, one lit like a sledgehammer. Anything else we've got to cover the day? I sure will. I'll call it a day. There's been an England squad announced for the Euros. You got anything on that? Yeah, it seems they're a really good squad.

Anything else? No. Is there any more about for now? Well the wire's hung off it. No. Is there no more about for now? Well, the wire's hung off it. Yes. Okay. Right. Well, I'll sing me song then.

Oh, do you sing me song? What's it about then? Well, it's about that terrible nervous for a straight in time in your local asda or your morocons when you're waiting for the hot chicken Hot hot meat section to reduce its prices during the yellow sticker hour yellow sticker hour I'm up there for yellow sticker hour every night. So we've been athletic comments We are send your photos and usual photos of car on beef

I'll get the money at the bank and you can get the money send off to all you yeah off the out You've got a post office account like the kids one? Yeah, kids server account. Yeah, right. So here we go. Lovely man in Aster, waiting for the chicken to be reduced. If you grab the Piri, Piri drumsticks before me,

I'll break your fucking neck. I will break your fucking neck. There we go. Yellow label hour summed up in song right I better get off on the internet I've offered the day. There's an early night. No no but you know the time is about right. Thank you.